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7/30/2019 Bahri Art Essay
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The the mass media, including television, radio, newspapers and the internet, have great
influence in shaping peoples ideas.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer.
It is widely believed that there are lot of people read or watch the mass media every day.
Although they read or watch the mass media regularly, I strongly believe that the mass media
does not have a big role in shaping people opinions for three main reasons.
The most important reason why peoples opinions are high independent from the mass media
is level of education. Although reading is a basic skill, only people whose high level of
education read the mass media regularly. For example, families may read some types of the
mass media every day, but only educated adult usually read them regularly. In addition,
educated ones usually use their robust knowledge to support their opinions. Therefore, the
mass media influence may be minimized by peoples level of education.
Another reason is societys culture. People usually read or watch the mass media for
relaxation. In short, people may consume the mass media to relax their mind and may not
take the mass media as main source of their opinion. A lot of people, for example, usually
watch or read the mass media in their leisure time. Consequently, people may not use the
mass media as a foundation of their ideas.
The last reason is peoples experience. Since people read the mass media regularly, they will
realize that contents of the mass media may provide facts with lack of evidence. For instance,
the mass media usually mixes some facts with false issues in order to attract more readers.
Thus, people may not take the mass media as their sources to develop their own opinion since
they realize that the mass media may contain unproven issues.
In brief, there are three main reasons why the mass media will not influence peoples opinion,
namely, people already have strong academic background, reading the mass media is one of
peoples leisure activities and the mass media may contain lies.
BAHRI
299 words
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Coherence
Some examples
Read through these three paragraphs taken from different IELTS essays and note how they all have a
similar structure:
Point
Explanation
Example
This is a pattern you can follow in most essays to give coherence to your writing by expanding on onepoint. I will add that this just a model guideline, it isnt a rule. There will be times when you do not useexamples for instance.There are those who argue that the internet has had an extremely positive influence oncommunication.They say this because in the past it was sometimes impossible to call people in othercountries on the telephone, but now it is relatively simple to use a program such as Skype to talk to
them for free or to send an email. A good example here are the students who go to study abroad andare able to send messages home with no difficulty, when in past they would have had to buy stampsand go to the post office which was much harder and more expensive.
A strong argument can of course be made from the opposite position.Part of this argument is
that countries and nations need to preserve old buildings in order to preserve their heritage. In
addition, however, to this cultural argument, there are positive economic benefits in
preserving old buildings.An illustration here is Egypt once again, a country which depends
on tourism for much of its national income simply because visitors pay to come from other
countries to visit its ancient sites. There are several reasons why it can be argued that
television has a negative effect on cultural development.Perhaps the principle argument is
the lowbrow nature of many programmes, particularly sitcoms and soap operas. People whowatch these programmes do not learn anything, they are simply entertained. The othermajor argument is that because people watch so much television, they no longer
take part in more traditional forms of cultural entertainment.An example here ishow traditional dancing and music is becoming much less popular becausepeople are staying at home to watch the television.
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A sample essay coherence between paragraphs
Read through this sample essay and note how each paragraph is explicitly connected to
previous paragraphs so that the reader can easily identify the progression of the argument.
Subjects such as Art, Sport and Music are being dropped from the schoolcurriculum for subjects such as Information Technology. Many peoplechildren suffer as a result of these changes. To what extent would you supportor reject the idea of moving these subjects from school curriculum?
In recent times there has much debate about which subjects should be included onthe school curriculum. One particular issue is whether the introduction of moremodern subjects such as IT for more traditional subjects such as art and musicdisadvantages the pupils. This essay examines both sides of this issue.
There is one major argument in favour of replacing art, music and sport on thecurriculum with subjects like IT. This is that the purpose of school is to preparechildren for their working life after school, so the subjects on the curriculum shouldbe relevant to theirpotential careers. From this point of view, IT is much relevant toschoolchildren as they need to be computer literate if they want to survive in theworkplace. For example, it is easy to see that word processing and programmingskills will impress employers more than the ability to run fast or draw well.
There are also, however, strong arguments forretaining the more traditional subjectsas part of the curriculum. One significant counter-argument is that the purpose ofeducation is not just to prepare children forlater careers, but also to develop their all
round culture. It is important that children leave school with some knowledge of art,music and sport as all these are all help develop aspects of young peoplespersonalities.
My own personal point of view is that there is merit in both sides of the debate andthat all children should study some IT, art music and sport at least at primary school.At secondary school, however, children should be offered a choice between thesesubjects so that they can continue to study them if they wish. In this way, no childwill be disadvantaged.
Explanation
Each paragraph contains red language right at its start to show the reader what is going to
happen in that paragraph. Anyone reading the essay no matter how quickly is going to see
that it is structured.
The two content paragraphs contain similar blue language to emphasise the balance of the
argument. Paragraph 3 relates to and answers paragraph 2.
Read more: IELTS essays essay coherence 1 | Dominic Cole's IELTS and Beyond
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Cohesion
Test yourself first
To see how well you understand cohesion, try this. There are two texts below. Which one do
you prefer? Be careful, the better (and more cohesive text) may not necessarily be the textwith the most obvious linking words.
Close Me
Text A
Attracting customers to buy your products and services needs a great deal of research and
planning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. This is normallyachieved through market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to
sell to. Armed with this information you can then formulate an effective plan of action based
on your evidence. Once you are aware of the needs of your potential customers you need to
examine your product in detail, fix a suitable price which will help your product sell, ensure
you choose the correct method of distribution and select an appropriate promotion to attract
your audience. This is known as the marketing mix and can help your business to spend
money wisely with the best results
Text B
Attracting customers to buy your products and services needs a great deal of research andplanning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. Firstly, there is
market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to sell to. Secondly,
formulate an effective plan of action based on your evidence. Furthermore, it is important to
examine your product in detail. Moreover, you should fix a suitable price which will help
your product sell, ensure you choose the correct method of distribution and select an
appropriate promotion to attract your audience. So this is known as the marketing mix and in
summary it can help your business to spend money wisely with the best results.
Close Me
The first text is the original text and is highly cohesive even though it does not contain
many obvious linking words.
Some of the cohesion language is highlighted in green and blue. Note, in particular the
use of this at the beginning of sentences to link to the sentence before. Cohesion can bereally simple.
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Attracting customers to buy yourproducts and services needs a great deal ofresearch and
planning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. This is normally
achieved through market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to
sell to. Armed with this information you can then formulate an effective plan of action based
on your evidence. Once you are aware of the needs of your potential customers you need to
examine yourproduct in detail, fix a suitable price which will help yourproduct sell, ensureyou choose the correct method of distribution and select an appropriate promotion to attract
your audience. This is known as the marketing mix and can help your business to spend
money wisely with the best results
This text may at first sight look more cohesive, but in fact most of the cohesion words
are wrongly used. Be careful of overusing that sort of language.
Attracting customers to buy your products and services needs a great deal of research and
planning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. Firstly, there is
market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to sell to. Secondly,
formulate an effective plan of action based on your evidence. Furthermore, it is important toexamine your product in detail. Moreover, you should fix a suitable price which will help
your product sell, ensure you choose the correct method of distribution and select an
appropriate promotion to attract your audience. So this is known as the marketing mix and in
summary it can help your business to spend money wisely with the best results.
Incorrect linking
Is Firstly really the first point made? To use it correctly, you need toidentify that there is a list of points to come: There are a variety of issueshere; firstly,..
The same comment applies to the use of secondly
So is used when a conclusion can be made. This is the final point, but itis not a conclusion.
In summary can only be used when a summary is made.
Did you get it right? Very few of my own students do. The reason for this is that they believe
the only way to be cohesive is to use words such as furthermore: it is not. Indeed, if you
use linking words wrongly, then your writing may become less cohesive thats worse!!
Read more: An introduction to cohesion | Dominic Cole's IELTS and Beyond
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An example of how to do it
There are lots of ways of making your writing cohesive. Look at this example the coloursshow the connections between the different sentences. As you read through this, you should
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concentrate on how that cohesion is about how you use vocab and pronouns and how you
start sentences: it is not just about linking words.
There are many people who claim that global warming is the most significant threat facing us
today. Theyarguethis because it is a dangernot just to the current generation,but also to the
generations to come. Indeed, it is this threat to our future that is of most concern. Forinstance, some research shows that one effect ofglobal warming might be there will not be
enough food to feed the world in the near future. Ifthat did happen
many people they (pronoun)
that global warming is this (pronoun)
claim argue (synonym)
not just but also (a matching pair)
current generationgenerations to come
(repetition)
a dangerthis threat (pronoun +
synonym)
Indeed (linking phrase for further explanation)
generations to come future
global warmingglobal warming (repetition
of technical phrase)
there will be not enough food that (pronoun)
A common mistake
One very common mistake is to overuse certain linking phrases such as furthermore and
moreover. This can be a problem because they are frequently misused: and to link badly is
no better than not linking at all. A secondary problem is that by only using such phrases,
candidates forget to use pronouns (especially this) for linking. That was the point in the test
at the beginning of this lesson.
Read more: An introduction to cohesion | Dominic Cole's IELTS and Beyond
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Using examples to improve your paragraph
coherence
A common problem with IELTS writing is that either examples are not used, or they are usedpoorly. In this lesson you will find
a quick test to see how well you understand coherence and the use ofexamples
4 suggestions on how to use examples well a list of vocabulary to help you do this
A reminder about coherence and examples
The essential idea of coherence is that the ideas in your writing combine together to form
one whole. The goal is to write in such a way that the reader/examiner immediately sees theconnections in your writing and understands what you are trying to say. Arguably, a well-
written and coherent piece of writing only needs to be read once to be understood. This is
where examples come in. Examples can make your writing
easier to read by illustrating your main points easier to write, as often it is easier to explain an example than argue a
complex idea
Not all examples work a little test
It is not just enough, however, to use examples. Your examples need to illustrate your
main ideas if you want to be coherent. A badly used example can make your writing
confused and confusing. Take a look at the two paragraphs below. One example works, the
other doesnt. Which is which?
Close Me
There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they
may be career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A
second reason reason relates to the environment they grew up in: a possible illustration of this
is if they have been subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang thatterrorised the neighbourhood. Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a role
and that some people cannot be blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally
predisposed to commit crimes.
It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate
and that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim
that it is not only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from
being committed. For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer
group pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they
made when they were younger.
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Close Me
This first paragraph works well. It is a listing paragraph with a clear main point in the first
sentence saying there are 3 reasons. The next 3 sentences each state one reason (this is one
form of coherence).
I have highlighted in red an example that clearly relates to and explains the idea in the second
sentence about how environment can affect crime
There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they
may be career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A
second reason reason relates to the environment they grew up in: a possible illustration of this
is if they have been subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang that
terrorised the neighbourhood. Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a roleand that some people cannot be blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally
predisposed to commit crimes.
This paragraph does not really work. It has plenty of good language but the ideas and how
they relate to each other are not especially clear. The first sentence has two main ideas
(always dangerous), one about education, the other about prison being a deterrent.The idea of
education is not explained in the paragraph this is incoherent. The other main problem is
that the example in red does not clearly relate to the main ideas of the paragraph. This also is
incoherent
It is not enough to use examples, you need to show how they relate to your main idea.
It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate
and that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim
that it is not only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from
being committed. For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer
group pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they
made when they were younger.
Tip one organise your paragraphs around one main idea
You can only really write coherent examples if your paragraphs area coherent. What this
means in practice is that your paragraphs need to be centred on one main idea almost
always stated in the first sentence. The example you choose should relate to that idea.
(It is of course possible to include more than one idea in a paragraph. What you need to do
here is follow my example above and say in the first sentence that there are different ideas
here.)
Tip two you dont have to include all your ideas/examples learn to select
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One reason why paragraphs (and essays) go wrong is that the student tries to include
everything s/he knows in an effort to impress the examiner. This does not work in IELTS. It
is a language test, not an IQ test, and there is a limit to how many ideas you can fit into a 250-
300 word essay. This means that you need to select only the examples that illustrate your
main points. Put another way, you may need to leave out ideas that do not fit your main
point. This is particularly good advice for high level candidates in the planning stage.
Tip three for example is not the best way to introduce an example
Almost certainly, the most common way of introducing examples is to use for example. My
suggestion is that you try some other ways of introducing examples. The key idea is to use a
phrase that clearly links the example to the main idea. Look at these:
A example of how environmental factors can lead to crime is..
This can be illustrated by
clearly illustrates how environmental factors may contribute to crime.
One instance that shows how environmental factors may lead to crime is ..
The point to note is that in each case the example is introduced so that it links to the point it is
supposed to be illustrating.
Tip four just say how the example illustrates the main point - P-E-E-P
This tip is similar to the previous one. Only the idea this time is that you add a sentence afterthe example to explain how it links to the main idea. This leads to a model paragraph that
goes:
Point - Explanation - Example - Point
Look at how it can work here. The first sentence and the last sentence of para make
essentially the same point and the final sentence links back into the example (This leads to
the conclusion).
There are many people who believe that longer prison sentences are necessary for repeat
offenders. The idea is that people are much less likely to re-offend if they know that they willreceive a serious sentence of perhaps 20 years for any further crimes. This would reform the
system where many criminals do re-offend simply because they know that the consequences
will not be very severe if they are caught. For example, a petty thief who might take the risk
of a gaol term of 6 months would not risk 20 years for the same crime. This leads to the
conclusion that longer gaol terms for repeat offenders are an effective deterrent.
Read more: Using examples to improve your paragraph coherence | Dominic
Cole's IELTS and Beyondhttp://www.dcielts.com/ielts-writing/examples-
paragraph-coherence/#ixzz25aTrVZZL
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There are a number of different ways of ensuring that your writing links together, something
that teachers call cohesion.
There are a number of different ways of ensuring that your writing links together - something
that teachers call cohesion. One ofthese is, of course, to use the normal linking words such
as furthermore and moreover.
It would be a mistake, however, to think that ______ is the only method of achieving
cohesion because there are in fact other options _______work just as well and, sometimes,
much better.
(this/which)
Indeed, the ability to employ a range of cohesive devices and not just the normal linking
words is one of the keys to good writing. It can also be argued that learners __________only
concentrate on using________words write less cohesively as a result.
(who/those)
This is particularly the case when learners use a linking phrase such as as a matter of fact'
wrongly because ______fail to realise that it has quite an exact meaning and can only be
used in some cases.
(they)
My personal recommendation is that learners who wish to improve the cohesion of
_________writing should concentrate not on the traditional linking words, rather that they
should think about how using pronouns well can link their writing together much more
effectively.
(their)
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Band score 8.0 range of vocabulary
This is the next in my series of lessons in how to achieve a high band score in IELTS essays.
This time the focus is on vocabulary. There is no magic bullet here vocabulary learning
takes time. Thats the bad news. What I do do though is to talk you through some of the more
common problems with vocabulary in essays and give you some tips on avoiding them.
Youll also find a bonus essay to download.
A sample essay weak vocabulary
Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak
on vocab. Can you see what the problems are?
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of
this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument,
my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.
The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can
sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but
spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may
be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is
understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if
someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government
cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are not very
risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a
meal as bungee jumping.
My personal view is that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not
ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is
the most important thing. This is most important for young children.
Seeing the problems repetition
One of the most common problems is you can get stuck on certain words. This frequently
happens with words in the question itself. To some extent this is unavoidable and you will see
my improved version retains quite a lot of repetition there is simply less of it.
7/30/2019 Bahri Art Essay
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Close Me
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of
thispeople want the government toban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument,
my view is thatpeople should be free to do whatever sports they want.
We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this
is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my
view is that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedom to participate in whatever
sports they choose.
The biggest reason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can be very dangerous and
can sometimes killpeople. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger,
but spectators too can be badly hurt. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may
be hurt and it is possible thatpeople in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is
understandable whypeople want the government toban these sports.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly
dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who
are at risk, but spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car
crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing
tyre or debris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why
people call forthe authorities to take action.
The opposite argument is thatpeople should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if
someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government
cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are not veryrisky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a
meal as bungee jumping.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose.
So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do
so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead
their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in
many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater riskcarrying out everyday
activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
My personal view is that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should notban them. It should also make certain that there is as little dangeras possible because safety is
the most important thing. This is most important for young children who cannot make their
own decisions.
My personal view is that while the government and other authorities do need to regulate
dangerous sports, it would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely. I would
suggest that safeguards need to be established so that any riskis minimised. What these
safeguards are will vary from sport to sport, but safety has to be paramount, especially where
minors are involved.
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Tip think of vocabulary before you start writing
The idea is quite simple. If you think of the words you want to use before you write, then you
can use them. On the other hand, if you start writing too quickly, then it becomes much
harder to try and vary your vocab.
Tip repetition should be on everyones editing
checklist
One of my top tips is that everyone should have a mental checklist of the type of errors they
look for when they check their work Im going to look for any mistake doesnt really
work. The point here is that even the best writers can subconsciously get stuck on words and
keep on repeating them if they are not careful.
Tip if you cant find another word, repeat it in a
different form
Sometimes there is only one correct word. In this case, the best advice is not to find another
word that may well be wrong, but to change the word slightly. This can mean using the noun
form and not the verb form (ban becomes impose a ban on) or to qualify it with another word
so ban becomes ban entirely.
Seeing the problems avoid language that is too simple
In general, I am a fan of the simple. There are times, however, when you want to upgrade
your English, in particular
avoiding words like big that are not normally used in more formalwritten English
avoiding words like do unless they are part of a set phrase there isalmost always a better variation
finding variations for words such as very to show your range thinking about collocations (phrases)
See the simple language improved
Tip when you learn vocabulary, learn phrases and not
just words
Part of solution to this problem is to learn phrases. For example, you are much more likely to
be able to use participate, if you have first learnt the phrase participate in a sport.
Finding solutions think examples for precise language
This is one of my favourite suggestions. The idea is that if you learn to use examples well, you get to use
language that is precise and sometimes relatively simple. Take a look at this revised versions of
the examples. the revisions may seem quite small, but I get to use precise language a good thing.
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The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose.
So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do
so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead
their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in
many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday
activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly
dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who
are at risk, but spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car
crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre
ordebris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people
call for the authorities to take action.
Finding solutions be academic and use qualifying language
Part of the academic writing skill is learning to qualify what you say so that it is not too
general. Take a look at these two examples of qualifying phrases I add in to the improved
version. Again, the changes may seem small but taken together they can have a significant
effect on your writing.
We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the
signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I
understand that argument, my view is that, within certain limits, people should
retain the freedom to participate in whatever sports they choose.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whateverrisk they choose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet,
then they should be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the
place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is
that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called
dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities
such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
Finding solutions focus your vocabulary learning on academic vocabulary
This is in many ways the big one. Learning vocabulary takes time. One excellent
way to do it is simply to read and listen as much as possible. You will absorb
more new words that way than by sitting down and studying any word list.
However, there is a however. To get a high band score, you want to learn the
right words to use in essays. This is where the academic word list comes to
your help.
Academic vocabulary and IELTS
Certain words in English are simply more academic than others. This does not necessarily
mean they are difficult words, it just means native speakers tend to use them more when
they are writing more formally. They are in other words exactly the sort of words you want in
IELTS. Take these examples from the improved essay:
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retain principal assume participate in
These are all excellent words to learn as they can be used in all sorts ofdifferent contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them
and that is where my daily word exercises come in
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Band score 8.0 range of grammar
This lesson looks at the idea of range of grammar. If you are aiming for a high band score, it
is not simply enough not to make mistakes, you also need to show that you can use a number
of different grammatical constructions. First of all, I talk you through some principles and
then I give you some practical suggestions on what sort of grammar can help and, just as
importantly, how to use it.
Test yourself first
Before you read on. You might want to ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I going to impress more with longer sentences?2. Do I have a strategy for when I use simpler grammar and more complex
grammar?3. When and why do I use complex grammar like relative and conditional
clauses?
An essay should combine simple with complex grammar
This is the starting point. A well-written essay should be relatively easy to read. This means
that you need to combine the simple with the complex. Where you have straightforward to
say, you should not try and show off your grammar by making it seem complex indeed,
thats a very common mistake.
Typically, you should aim for:
simple structures when you are making main points often in the openingand/or closing sentences of your paragraphs
more complex structures when you are explaining/developing those mainpoints in the body of your paragraphs
a movement from the more simple to the more complex
When you have something simple to say, say it simply. Only use complex structures for more
complex thoughts.
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Close Me
None of the sentences in this paragraph are particularly long for short.
Another way in which free public transport could improve our quality of life relates to
congestion. Currently, the trend is for increasing numbers of people to choose to drive to
work. This means that in many cases the rush hour is several hours long and it is sometimes
almost impossible to travel across a city.It is probable that this level of congestion would be
reduced by making public transport free.
The first sentence is shorter because it is the opening sentence of the para and it also includes
the complex in which construction.
The second sentence is shortish again because it is merely stating a fact no need to make it
more complex
The third sentence is a longer sentence, but it is simply linked using and
The final sentence is again relatively short/simple sentence but it does contain a conditional
would and a by structure.
Examples of grammar that can work
This is not intended to be a list of advanced grammar points that will guarantee you a band
score 8.0. Rather, the idea here is to show you grammar connects to meaning. You shouldnever just use a structure because it is good grammar. Instead, you need to ask yourself
what is the best way I can express this point.
The best writers use these structures when they need to, not because they think they
have to
1. the passive
I start with the passive because it is so often misused. It is not the case that the passive is an
academic structure that should be used in essays. We use it all the time in all sorts ofcontexts. Here, though, is one way you might find it helpful in writing: to avoid repeating
words especially nouns/pronouns. You may want to avoid using some words too much
especially words from the question. Here the passive can help you. In a question about
government action, rather than writing:
The government should introduce measures to
you can try
Measures should be introduced
so that you dont repeat the word government.
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2. Relatives
This is another piece of grammar you need to feel comfortable with and can help you. You
should be careful, however, not to overuse relatives as they can make your writing both
confusing and confused. One tip I would give you here is to try and restrict yourself to one
relative per sentence and to try and avoid them in already complex sentences. Look at this
example:
There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport
authorities funds which they need and lead to a lower standard of service.
The relative can be avoided by changing it into an adjective phrase:
There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport
authorities of much needed funds and lead to a lower standard of service.
When you do use relatives though is to define terms and add detail. Here is an example in
action:
More than that, if the authorities plan carefully, they can use the occasion of the sporting
event to help finance public works which benefit the whole population in the long term.
I want to say what sort of public works I am referring to so I define them in the
relative which benefit the whole population in the long term.
3. Conditionals
Here is another piece of grammar that can help you out. Provided that is, you see how and
when to use it. One of the best ways to use these conditionals to explain and give
examples. This means they are likely to come in the body of your paragraphs and not the
introduction/opening sentence. Try this example:
There is also, however, a strong argument not to implement this proposal. This argument is
based on economic competitiveness. If a company was forced to employ more workers to
produce the same amount of goods, then its wage bill would rise and its products might
become more expensive and less competitive compared to companies with longer working
weeks. In this case, it is possible that the company eithermight become insolvent or it wouldhave to make some employees redundant. As a result, the intended benefit to the personnel
would not happen.
This time around I have given you the whole para so that you can see the context. I use a
conditional because I am explaining a point. You should also see that we use might and
would in the following sentences even though there is no if.
Do you want to show off? Then you might consider using conditionals that do not use if. So
you could use:
Were a company to be forced
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4. Parallel structures
There are a number of different parallel structures we have in English. They come in useful
when we are combining, comparing or contrasting points again something that you are
likely to do in your essays. This is a useful piece of grammar to focus on, as when used well
they make your writing more cohesive. For example
Not only would unemployment be reduced, but the working conditions of employees on very
long shifts would also be significantly improved.
You may think not only..but also is too easy to impress. Dont. Simple things done well
impress too and this sentence is complex enough as it is.
5. Verb tenses (of course), impersonal structures and
modals
The point to remember here is that it is not difficulty of grammar that is important, rather it is
variety of grammar. This means that some bits of grammar that you think are rather simple
(e.g. tenses) are still important. The point I want to make here is that the one tense you are
going use most is the present simple. Checking my essays, I find that easily the most
common tense I use is the present simple. Thats how it should be it is easily the most
common tense in English.
You do want some variety though, and here is how I get it. I use a lot of impersonal
structures
There are several reasons why
and I also use a large number of modal verbs:
It can also be argued that
The point here is that I use them to make impersonal points or sound academic. They too
have their meanings and uses.
6. And and but
Never be afraid of keeping it simple. I do. My essays work. You will also find that I almost
never use moreover and furthermore. More to the point, neither do band 8.0 candidates
typically. When all you want to do is add a point say and and if you want to make a
contrast, you are most likely to use but or however,.
Test your own writing
The best advice is of course always to find yourself a teacher, but if you are working by
yourself, here is something you can do. Find an essay you have written and go through it:
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1. Do you use different grammatical structures? (You should have at leastsome of the ones I have mentioned)
2. Can you see why you have used any of the more complex structures?3. How long is your average sentence? (around 15 words is about right I
would suggest)
4. Do your paragraphs combine longer and shorter sentences and simplerand more complex sentences?5. Do you use and and but?
How detail can improve your part 2 speaking a
wedding
This lesson is about using detail to make sure you say enough in part 2 speaking. In additionto sample MP3s on a part 2 cue card, you will find advice on how to extend your answer and
use better and more precise vocabulary by thinking about detail and how to tell a story. It
should be particularly useful for candidates with a reasonable range of English who
sometimes find that they run out of things to say from the cue card.
Three key points
1. You can say more than the cue card asks
The first to realise is that you do not have to restrict yourself to speaking only about what the
cue card asks. For example, if it asks to talk about when something happened, you can talk
about that time generally and not just give the date.
2. The more detail you add, the better language you use
If you add detail, both your grammar and vocabulary will improve. This is because detail
allows you to use much more specific vocabulary and use more complex grammatical
structures. To understand how this works look at the following examples.
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3. Make it personal use your memories -see the
examiner as your friend in a bar
The part 2 talk is not a presentation. You are talking to someone about your personal
memories and ideas. You need to see the examiner as a friend you are talking to but haventseen for some time. You are at a coffee shop (or bar or pub depending on your culture) and
you are just talking to them about what you think/remember. The more personal you make it,
the more likely you are to find things to say everyone has memories.
Sample cue card
A wedding
Describe a wedding you attended
You should say
when it was
who got married
what happened at the wedding
And explain whether it was a typical wedding ceremony
Adding detail to when questions
The key here is not just to answer in one phrase, you are using almost no language here.
It was 5 years ago
The first step is simply to add details of season/time of week/time of day, at least this way
you get to use more language.
It was around 5 years ago in the middle of the winter
The next step is to add detail about that season/time of week/time of day. As you do this,
think about how you felt, what did it look like, what else was happening at the same time.
Dont just think about time.
It was around 5 years ago in February. I think it was towards the end of the month. The
weather was certainly extremely cold and everyone was wearing their warmest clothing.
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Listen to my sample and read the notes
Close Me
I dont remember the exact date of the wedding but it did take place sometime in winter that
much I do remember because it had been a particularly hard winterthat year and when the
bride came out of the church there was snow all over the ground and that made it a white
wedding in more ways than one.
Dont be over precise
I dont remember the exact date and sometime in winter: the trick here is not to be too
precise. If you start by saying it was February 15, there is less to say. This way you allow
yourself to carry on speaking about the winter in general.
Think about weather
a particularly hard winter: this is excellent precise language
Think visually see the background
snow all over the ground: more precise language. If you try and see a picture, you are more
likely to find details to add
Adding detail to who questions
Again, the too simple answer is one phrase you are using very little and very uninteresting
language this way:
My best friend from university.
One detail to add is your relationship to this person. How did you meet them? How long have
you known them?
My best friend from university. I first met her because we were studying the same course
and went to the same lectures.
More detail is possible if you think about what you have done together or why you like them
as a person.
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My best friend from university. We first met at university because we were studying the
same course and then we found that we had a lot in common as we both were fascinated by
art.
Listen to my sample and read the notes
Read the notes
Adding detail to what happened questions
This time the mistake is just to say what happened: on thing after another using the simple
past.
We got to the church at 10 oclock. Then we had to wait a little time for bride to arrive.
Things to think about here are:
1. what happened before and after2. seeing what other people were doing
If you do this, you should use more variety of tenses and better grammar:
We had to wait at the church for about 2o minutes before the bride arrived.
While we were waiting, I was thinking about the speech I would have to give at
the reception party.
A particularly useful trick is to try and add detail by adding things people said.
Again, this will allow you to use more interesting grammar by using indirect
speech:
We had to wait a t the church for about 20 minutes before the bride arrived.
While we were waiting, I was thinking about the speech I would have to give at
the reception party. I
Close Me
What happened at the wedding itself? It was quite a regular ceremony I suppose. The one
detail I remember is the best man, who was also a friend of mine, turned to the bridegroom
just before the service and said that he had forgotten the ring and asked if that was okay. The
bridegroom was absolutely horrified, but his friend, the best man, was just joking.
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Talk about what you remember
The one detail I remember is: This is an excellent phrase to learn. The idea is to talk about
your personal memories and simply by using this phrase you allow yourself to speak about
details.
Remember what people said use indirect speech
said that he had forgotten the ring and asked if that was okay. This is a classic story-telling
trick as nearly all the best stories contain some dialogue. In IELTS this works because it
allows you to use more complex grammar and change your tenses
Think about how people felt
The bridegroom was absolutely horrified. One more detail you can add is about how other
people felt. This is one more opportunity to use some specific vocabulary.
Practice suggestion learn the skill
Dont practise speaking for 2 minutes about the whole cue card. Rather what you should do is
what I have done here: speak for 20 seconds or so about each of the first 3 points on the cue
card one by one.
Read more: IELTS part 2 speaking: using detail to tell a story
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