Banane wale ne ek Dost mere liye banaya, Jise Aap ke rup me maine

paya,

Jo mere dil me aise samaya, Jaise purani haveli me ho BHOOT ka

saaya!

Saanp ne piya bakri ka khoon..

Wah wah..

Saanp ne piya bakri ka khoon.. Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!

Udhar aap majboor bethay hain, Idher ham majboor bethe hain

Baat ho to aakhir kaisay ho, Jab dono taraf 2 kanjoos bethe hain

Jabse tumhe jana hai, Jabse tumhe paya hai

Her dua main tera hi naam aya hai, Ya rab ye kaisa namoona banaya

hai

I Miss U Rozana,

After Breakfast & Khana,

Ab Tum Zyada Mat Itrana,

Hum Ko Acha Lagta Hai,

Aap Ko Ullu Banana.. ; )

Muskurana to her lerki ki ada hai.. Wah Wah Wah

Muskurana to her lerki ki ada hai.. Wah Wah Wah

Usay jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada gadha hai … Wah Wah Wah

Apne doston ko salam-e-aajizana, Dosti nibhanay walon ko meri jan

nazrana

Jo sms karay usko pyar ki jhappi, Aur jo na karay usko Maulana Fazlur

Rehman ki pappi.

Tum dost ho mere sada k liye, Meri zindagi hai teri wafa k liye

Kar lena lakhon shikway humse magar, Kabhi bhula na dena Khuda k

liye… 

Ek din ye mausam badal jayega, Tumhara mobile jaib se gir jayega

Phir bachana tum sms k paisay, Tumhari karni ka phal tumko mil

jayega

Arz kiya hai… Laila majnoo se keh rahi hai, Laila majnoo se keh rahi hai

Apna rumal de do, meri naak beh rahi hai..!!!

Sitam sehne ki bhi had hoti hai, Kisi ko satanay ki bhi had hoti hai SMS

bhejne ki adat daalo mere dost, Muft k SMS perhne ki bhi had hoti hai

Nashay se koi devdas hogia, to koi paisay se kangal hogia

to koi pyar se pagal hogia, main to apko msg bhejtay bhejtay barbaad

hogia

Roz logon se tere pangay hongay, shehar main roz dangay hongay

agar too mujhe SMS nahi karega, to yad rakhna tere saray bachay

ganjay hongay

Raat bhar SMS kiya to raat kat gayi raat bhar sms kiya to raat kat gayi

wah… wah… wah… subha uth kar balance dekha to waat lag gayi

Arz kiya hai: Khidki se dekha to raastay pe koi nahi tha…

Khidki se dekha to raastay pe koi nahi tha…

Raastay pe jakay dekha to khidki pe koi nahi thaa!!!

Machar ne apko kaata wo uska junoon tha, apne khaarish ki wo apka

sukoon tha,

Chah kar bhi apne usay nahi mara kyon k uski ragon main bhi apka

khoon tha.

Funny Poetry

Kabhi hosla bhi aazma lena chahiyeh, Buray waqt main muskura lena

chahiyeh

jab saat din main bhi khujli na mitay, to aathwen din naha lena

chahiyeh

Agar manzil ko pana hai to hosla saath rakhna, agar pyar ko pana hai

to aitbar sath rakhna

Agar hamesha muskurana hai to….. Daant Saaf Rakhna!

Ye baat samaj main aayi nahi aur ammi ne samjhayi nahi

Me kaisay meethi baat karon jab meethi cheez khayi nahi,

Ye chanda kaisa maamoon hai jab ammi ka wo bhai nahi,

Kyon lambay baal hain bhaaloo k, kyon uski tind karayi nahi,

Kia wo bhi ganda bacha hai, ya jungle me koi nayi nahi,

Nani k husband jab nana hai aur dadi k husband dada hain… to kyon

baji k husband baja nahi,

Ye baat samaj main aayi nahi aur ammi ne samjhayi nahi.

Dil ki baat dil main mat rakhna, Jo pasand ho usay I Love You kehna

Agar wo ghussay aaye to darna mat, Sir jhukana aur kehna Pyari

behna milti rehna

Log Ishq Kartay hain baray Shor kay sath, Humne bhi kia bare zor kay

sath,

Lakin ab karain gay thoray ghor kay sath, Kyunke kal usay dekhakisi

aur kay sath

Aye dost tu bhi likha kar shayri… Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega,

log fekenge ande tamatar, To raat ki sabji ka intezaam ho jayega

Ishq main ye anjaam paya hai, hath pair tootay moon sujaya hai

Hospital puhunchay to nurson ne farmaya hai, Baharo phool barsao ek

aur majnoo pit kar aya hai

Thandi hai coffee garam karlo, is pathar dil ko thoda sa naram karlo

Morning time se inbox khali hai mera, thodi si to yaro sharam karlo

Song: Acha sila diya tune mere pyar ka, yar ne hi loot liya ghar yar ka

Remix: Acha kurta siya tune mere naap ka, naap liya mera si diya

mere baap ka

Fizaon k badalne ka intizar na karo, Andhiyon k rukne ka intizar na

karo

Mobile uthao aur mujhe sms karo, her bar mere sms ka intizar na karo

Ye kis tarah se yaad arahay ho, Ankhein band hain phir bhi nazar

arahay ho

Na janay kyon aisa lagta hai jaisay, samne kharay ho aur SEENG hila

rahay ho

Yun raato ko na jago So liya karo, yun dil main ansu na roko ro liya

karo

baal to buhut achay banatay ho, Kabhi naha bhi liya karo

Bagh main phool khilte rahaingay, Raat ko diye jaltay rahaingay Dua

hai khuda say aap khush raho hamesha, Baqi tang to ham hamesha

kartay rahaingay:)

Tere gham main tarap k mar jayengay, mer gaye to tera naam le

jayengay

Rab se keh kar tuje bhi ooper bulwayengay, phir saath beth kar

KURKURAY khayengay

Jahan ki khilwat me zulul nahi ayega, Gam-e-tohin se kulul nahi ayega

Maklul ki ibrat hai ye qurfa ghalib, Dimagh ki dahi ban jayegi per ye

shair samaj nahi ayega

Mere dukhon ki dhanak me rang na bhar, mohabbat aur nafrat ki jang

na kar

khushi mere gham k sang na kar, in short PAPPU YAR TANG NA KAR

Pyar na rahe to wafa kon karega, Dost na rahe to dosti kon karega

Khuda salamat rakhay tumhe warna, Bandar ki tarah uchal kood kon

karega

Ek aap ho k sharmatay buhut ho, ek aap ho k itratay buhut ho

dil to chahta hai dinner pe le jayen apko, kambakht ek aap ho k khatay

bhi buhut ho

Jab hota hai tera deedar dil dharakta hai bar bar

Jab hota hai tera deedar dil dharakta hai bar bar…

Aadat se majboor ho, tum janay kab maanglo udhar.

Aaj kuch ghabraye se lagtay ho, kuch kapkapaye se lagtay ho

nikar aayi hai surat apki… buhut dino baad nahaye se lagtay ho

Santa: Yar meri miss kehti hain k bhens ka doodh peenay se dimagh

taiz hota hai.

Banta: Mazaq karti hain, agar aisa hota to bhens ka apna bacha

Engineer na hota?

Banta: Teri dukan pe mitthai hai tera dil mithayi khane ko nahi karta?

Santa: Karta to buhut hai per papa marenge isliye chat kar rakh deta

hun 

Santa ne ghar k ooper wale hissey me paint kiya aur neeche wale

hissey me likh diya…

“Same as above”

Pathan aur Sardar pani pene gaye to glass ulta para hoa tha.

Sardar: Iska to mun hi band hai?

Pathan: Han dekho! Neechay se bhi toota hoa hai.

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?

A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that Banta is

having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don’t believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.

Santa: That is great, I will take two of them.

Sardar: Mujhe motions hogaye hain.

Dr. Lemo istimaat karo.

— Next Day —

Dr. Ab motions kaise hain?

Sardar: Theek hain per lemo nikalta hon to phir shuru ho jate

hain.

1 Dariya k kinaray 2 sardar chammach se dariya main dahee daal

rahay thay.

Pathan ne dekha to pucha: Khoocha ye kar rahay ho?

Sardar: Hum lassi bana rahay hain.

Pathan: Ha ha ha O pagal ka bacha log isiliye tum per lateefay banatay

hain…

Itna lassi tumhara baap piye ga

Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honor, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting

one man every week.

Santa: Tere result da ki banya?

Pappu: Miss kendi aey es class wich ik saal hor laggay ga?

Santa: Saal pavain 2,3 lag jawan par fail na hovin mera puttar.

Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?

Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a

strange and long way that another person who is listening to him

cannot understand him. Do you understand me?

Pappu: No.

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna

chahiye?

Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.

1 Sardar beach per leta hua tha.

1 Angraiz wahan se guzra aur sardar se pucha: Are you relaxing?

Sardar: No, I am Ranjeet Singh.

Phir dobara 1 angraiz wahan se guzra aur yehi pucha.

Sardar: No, I am Ranjeet Singh.

Aur ye keh kar uth gaya aur apne se thodi door lete hoye angraiz se

pucha: Are you relaxing?

Angraiz: Yes I am relaxing

Sardar: Thapar mar k bola, Kamine tu idher laita hua hai wahan itne

log tujhe dhoond rahe hain.

It was mealtime on Punjab Airline .

Air Hostess : “Would you like dinner?”

Banta : “What are my choices?”

Air Hostess : “Yes or no,”

Jasmeet : My husband always comes home late, no matter how I try.

Preeto : “Take my advice, and do what I did. Once my husband came

home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is

that you, Jaspal?” And that cured him.

Jasmeet : “Cured him !… But how?”

Preeto : “You know, his name is Banta.”

Jasmeet drew Santa’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do

you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time

they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

Santa : “I would love to, “But I don’t know her well enough…may be

you could introduce us..!

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?

Banta : I give up.

Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music.

Ek Sardar doosre se: Kal main bathroom gaya to ander jin tha.

Doosra: Phir kia hoa?

Sardar: Hona kia tha, mene jin se kaha: Aap kar lein, meri to waise hi

nikal gayi hai.

Ek sardar sheeshe k samne beth kar study kar raha tha, why?

1. dobara revision na karna pare…

2. apne uper nazar rahe…

3. He likes combine study….

3 sardar bed pe so rahay thay, teeno ko jagah tang horahi thi

1 sardar bed se utar k nichay sone laga to 2nd sardar bola…

… Oye! ab jagah hogayi hai ooper aa ja.

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?

Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion,

I’ll drink poison n let lion eat me.

Santa: ye joday kahan bantay hain?

Banta: Aasman per

Santa: abay shit yar

Banta: kia hoa?

Santa: mein to darzi ko de aya hon!!!

Santa to police: Kal raat chor mere ghar se tv k ilawa sab saamaan le

gaye

Police: tv kyon nahi le gaye?

Santa: tv to mein dekh raha tha na isliye..!!!

A sardarji in library backss a book and says: Too boring, too many

characters and no story.

Librarian: so you are the one who took the phone directory away?

A Sardarji enters a shop and shouts: Where is my free gift?

Shopkeeper: there is no gift with this oil.

Sardarji: oye! here it says, CHOLESTROL FREE

Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they

Teacher: Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha?

Brothers:  Madam tusi Fir kahoge nakal maar li

Santa aur Jeeto mein larai ho gayi, Santa ghar se chala gaya.

Santa raat ko phone pay: Khanay mein kia hai?

Jeeto: Zehar.

Santa: Main dair se aaonga, tum khana kha kar so jana.

Sardar petrol pump gaya, wahan usne ek board pe likha dekha “Don’t

Use Mobile Here”

Sardarji ne mobile nikala aur apne saray doston ko phone kar k kaha

“Don’t Call Me Now”

Sardar ki wife romantic mood main pooray bed pr bazu phaila kr lait k

boli

“kuch samjhe”?

Sardar: Haan, kameeni.

Tu purey bed pr akeli sona chahti hai

Petrol ke Rate badhane pas Santa bola: “Menu koi Farak nahi penda.

Phele bhi 100 ka Bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka Bharwata hun.

Santa- “i m going” ka kya matlab hota hai?

Banta(khub soch ke)- “me ja raha hu.”

Santa(gusse me)- “oye! nahi jaane doonga. pehle matlab bata.”

1 Sarrdar Motorway Pe

Ciggereate Pita Hua Bhaag Raha Tha

Us Se Kisi Ne Poocha Kia Ker Rahe Ho ?

Sardar Ne Kaha : Main Dekh Raha Hooon

1 Cigerrete Kitne Kilometer Chalti Hai

Sardar nay shoq shoq main Roza rakh lia,

he asked 2 his son,

vekh sooraj dooba?

Son: Nai jee,

after sometime again asked ,

vekh dooba ki?

o nai jee,

Sardar,lagta hai menu lay kay he doobay ga

Sardar ki GF nay kisi aur say shaadi karli ,

Sardar roz us larki k ghar k saamnay potty kar k aa jatay,

Un k dost nay ik din poocha ye tum kia harkat kartay ho???

Sardar nay kaha main usay batana chahta hoon k us k piyar k bina

main bhooka nahi mar raha

Husband:Hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???

Wife:kisi ko apnay control main kar k us say apni marzi k kaam

karwanay ko kehtay hain,

Husband:Chal jhooti usay tou Shaadi kehtay hain 

Driver: Sir ji, Petrol khatam hogaya hai gadi agay nahi ja sakti.

Sardar: Chalo phir wapas le chalo.