Alcohol Qoutes

7/29/2019 Alcohol Qoutes

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Quotations about Alcohol

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Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don'tdrink too little. ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep yourmouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway

A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. ~John Marcellus Huston

If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi. ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumpersticker
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Draft beer, not people. ~Author Unknown

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.~Author Unknown

Wine is bottled poetry. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ~Johann Christoph Friedrichvon Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If workis interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell themsorrows know how to swim. ~Quoted inP.S. I Love You, compiled by H. JacksonBrown, Jr.

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into

beasts! ~William Shakespeare, Othello

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won'tlet himself get snotty about it. ~Raymond Chandler

If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven'thad a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. ~JosephSchenck

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words forthought. ~Samuel Johnson


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One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.~Lady Astor

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner."Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my

wine in pills." ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food andwater. ~W.C. Fields

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised inliquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. ~Thomas deQuincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all overthe road. ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker

The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, arebest done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are

best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind. ~H.L. Mencken,Prejudices, Fourth Series, 1924

Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside. ~Author Unknown

You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps. ~Author Unknown

Here's to a long life and a merry oneA quick death and an easy oneA pretty girl and an honest oneA cold beer and another one!~Author Unknown

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink


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it. ~Thomas Jackson

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I lookinto the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopesand dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and theirdreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beerand let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~JackHandey

When the wine is in, the wit is out. ~Proverb

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that'sas good as they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

What's drinking?A mere pause from thinking!~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep

handy. ~W.C. Fields

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. ~FourHundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R.Kemble, 1902

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, Igrant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not gonearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, thatit's compounding a felony. ~Robert Benchley

Wine is how classy people get wasted. ~Author Unknown

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be


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able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I envy people who drinkat least they know what to blame everything on. ~OscarLevant

Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. Itencourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a

challenge to tell lies successfully. ~Graham Greene

I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.~M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, "Ceasefire," 1973

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink.~Lord Chesterton

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drinkfor a living. ~Jean Kerr

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it isScottish, but because it is good. ~Horace Hutchinson

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest ofHappiness

It's like an angel crying on your tongue. ~The Mentalist, "My Bloody Valentine,"written by Bruno Heller and Tom Szentgyorgyi, spoken by the character PatrickJane, about alcohol

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~AuthorUnknown
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Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in

frost. ~Samuel Johnson

Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle. ~BigBang Theory, "The Agreement Dissection" (season 4, episode 21, original airdateApril 28, 2011), written by Lorre, Prady, Molaro, Kaplan, Goetsch, andGorodetsky, spoken by the character Sheldon Cooper

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's thethirteenth or the fourteenth. ~George Burns

I don't think I've ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfaston several occasions, but never before before. ~From the movieBreakfast atTiffany's, 1961, screenplay by George Axelrod, based on the novella by TrumanCapote, spoken by the character Paul Varjak

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. ~Author Unknown

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebodywho's life is giving them vodka, and have a party. ~Ron White

Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~Galileo

If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine. ~Author Unknown

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb

[H]uman feet are conspicuously absent from beer making. ~Steve Mirsky, "Ale'sWell with the World,"Scientific American, May 2007

Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune. ~Giuseppe Garibaldi

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.


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~W.C. Fields

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either. ~P.J.O'Rourke

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the windrustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? ~Jack Handey

The drunk mind speaks the sober heart. ~Author Unknown

There are spunky little angels at the top of a bottle of wine and fearless little devilsin the bottom. ~Terri Guillemets

Hefeweizen. Never drink something you can't spill. ~Steve Miller,www.born-today.com/Choose_bDay.htm

I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place tobury my liver. ~Phil Harris

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. ~Seneca

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.~Kin Hubbard

If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear anadvantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have

been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice. Thedemon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood ofgenius and generosity. ~Abraham Lincoln, address to the WashingtonTemperance Society, Springfield, Illinois, 22 February 1842
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for

example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ~DaveBarry

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. ~Don Marquis

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.~Robert Heinlein

I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. ~FrankNicholson, attributed

Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini? ~RobertBenchley

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. ~Rita E. Torres

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out ofthe bottle. ~Henny Youngman

A drunken man is fitly named: he has drank, till he is drunken: the wine swallowshis consciousness, and it sinks therein. ~Augustus William Hare and JuliusCharles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~WinstonChurchill

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and thosewho keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. ~Mark Twain,Note-Book,1935


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Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. ~W.H. Davies

Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one partremorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and fourparts clarified Satan. ~Ambrose Bierce

Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila. ~AuthorUnknown

Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. ~Knute Rockne

Candy is dandyBut liquor is quicker.~Ogden Nash,Reflection on Ice-Breaking

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~Dean Martin

Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. ~Ovid

First waft, the landscape ahead flashes before meFirst sip, I stumble gently over the thresholdEach sip, one more step into another worldTentative steps, then bold, then giddy skipping along the path,One more sip.~Terri Guillemets, "Red Wine"

Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the timeof our life. ~Author Unknown

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. ~PhyllisDiller

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. ~Horace(Quintus Horatius Flaccus),Satires


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Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.~From the movieArthur

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that mademe want to drink? ~Author Unknown

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. ~JamesThurber

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow yourmind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O'Rourke

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Author unknown,commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey. ~"Pappy" Maverick, inMaverick

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Alcohol Qoutes