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July 2015 | Issue 88 | £1.50 where sold

It’s allMESSY Child’s Play!

OVERThe Hedge

(Sundays at Whiteley Community Centre, Gull Coppice)1st Sunday First @ 4 Messy Church 4-6pm aimed at families withchildren age 2+ to 112nd Sunday 10.15 am Communion + children’s groups3rd Sunday 10.15am Morning Worship + children’s groups4th Sunday 10.15am Communion or Baptism + children’sgroups

Open Door Cafe Tuesdays 9.30-11.30am Whiteley CommunityCentreMonday Minis Mondays (term-time) 1-2.45pmWhiteleyCommunity CentreSmall Groups Weekly for discussion, fellowship and Bible Study(contact Vicar or Wardens)Men’s Breakfastmonthly on Saturday morning (website orcontact Wardens for dates)

WHITELEY CHURCH CONTACT DETAILS

Reverend Philippa MillsPhone: 07760771667Email: minister@whiteleychurch.org.uk(Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday)

Churchwardens:Jo Vartan Vikki PottsPhone: 01489 505367 Phone: 01489 588648Mobile: 07767617797 Mobile: 07732567953

Email: wardens@whiteleychurch.org.ukwww.whiteleychurch.org.uk

www.facebook.com/WhiteleyChurch

Rites of PassageBirths, deaths and marriages: is the church still involved?

Well, the answer is a resounding ‘yes’! The Church has alwayshad a part to play at these momentous times in people’s lives. Ifyou just listened to the media you might think that the churchhas been marginalised but nationally the Church of England isstill asked to conduct many, many services of marriage, Baptismand funerals.

BaptismsIt has been a pleasure over the last few weeks to Baptise severalbabies of Whiteley families. Baptisms either take place in ourmorning service on the 4th Sunday of the month in theCommunity Centre or on a Sunday afternoon in one of the twoneighbouring parish churches (St Peter’s Titchfield and St Paul’sSarisbury Green). Whichever of the 3 places of worship, Philippaas the local Vicar will visit the family and take the service. If theBaptism has been held in Titchfield or Sarisbury Green then thefamily are invited to come to a Whiteley Church service to bewelcomed.

WeddingsYou don’t have to be a regular church-goer to get married inchurch. If you consider yourself to have faith in God then I’dstrangely encourage you to consider getting married in church.Church weddings have to take place in a licensed place ofworship. You may marry in any church that you have a specialconnection to (more details of these connections can be found atwww.yourchurchwedding.org.uk). If you’d like to be married inyour local parish church then that will either be Titchfield orSarisbury Green depending on where you live in Whiteley. ThenPhilippa, the administrator of the parish church and you willwork together to book the date and time and Philippa (or theofficiating minister) will meet with you to plan the service.

FuneralsThere are now so many different people offering to take funeralservices it can be quite bewildering for families. Again you don’thave to have been a church-goer to ask for the local vicar to takea funeral service. Often people say they don’t want a ‘religiousservice’ but when the family begin to plan the funeral theydecide that they do want a prayer and possibly a hymn andmaybe even a well known passage from the Bible. If that’s thecase then the vicar or another church minister is probably theright person to take the funeral. You can still personalise theservice with other readings and music so it reflects the characterof the person who died and helps you to remember them in theway you’d like. There’s an excellent new website to help youthink about funeral planning www.churchofenglandfunerals.orgIn the past as a society we have been shy about talking aboutdeath and dying but it’s often something many of us want to askquestions about. If this is you then keep an eye open for ‘GraveTalk’ - an informal event which we hope to hold in one of theWhiteley cafes later in the year.

If you’d like to talk about any of these please get in touch withThe Rev Philippa Mills (details below)

Monday MinisThis continues to be a popular group and we’d still love to hearfrom anyone who could give us a hand with setting up, puttingaway and helping to make the group a welcoming place. If you’reat home with a baby or pre-school children then come and joinus on Monday afternoons in the Community Centre (1-2.45pm).There are lots of toys for babies and children to play with, there’salways a fun craft activity and it’s a good opportunity to meetother parents or carers.

Regular Church Activities

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BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL

6 The Wealth ChefThe secret is out! Read on for some pearls ofwisdom fromWealth Chef, Ann Wilson.

HOUSE AND GARDENS

14 Planning MattersCheck out this months round up of planningapplications in and around Whiteley.

16 Over the HedgeOur new monthly feature showing off our localgardens. You don’t need to peer over the fencesany more - we’re doing it for you!

CHILDREN, PETS & EDUCATION

24 Holiday CruiseGet stuck in to some great kids puzzles created justfor you.

27 Messy PlayIt’s fun - Sue Gascoyne tells us more!

HEALTH, BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE

10 Differences of OpinonWe are never all going to see the world in the sameway and Jessica McGregor Johnson shows us howto manage disagreements with your partner.

COMMUNITY

2 Whiteley ChurchRites of passage. The church can assist in moreways than you might have thought.

We want your garden!Email us your pictures

If you’ve got a local Good News story we’d love to hearabout it! Whether it’s kindly friends or neighbours goingout of their way to help each other, children doing fabactivities that make them smile, winning awards or justdoing a good turn we’d love to know! Email your stories

to us at editor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk

july issue 2015

Recipes, com

munity,health

,

properties and more

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THIS MONTH..

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“Don’t underestimatethe value of doingnothing….

… of just going along, listening to all thethings you can’t hear and not bothering” said(my favourite) Winnie the Pooh.

I have got to the tender age of 40(ish) and I’m only just starting toappreciate the benefits of just stopping. That might sound completelyridiculous but when you’re an incredibly busy person there just isn’tthe time to stop. With endless lists, children to sort and businesses torun where do you schedule a ‘stop’? After all, if I stop then that pushesthings out of sync and then I’m even busier when I come to start again.

That’s right isn’t it?

Or not. We recently found ourselves child free for a day and with theweather being fairly miserable decided, uncharacteristically, to pack upsome sandwiches and a few books and drive down to Titchfield Haven.We set up camp in the back of our Bongo (lovingly known as the funbus to the kids) and sat for an afternoon doing very, very little.

It seemed decadent, luxurious and amazing. And the best bit? Itrejuvenated me and gave memore energy to do all the thingsI needed to the following week.OK so this seems a bit obviousbut until you step out of yourcomfort zone and realise theworld doesn’t fall apart if youtake a little time out then you’llnever know how therapeutic itcan be. Go on, try it.

Much love until next monthCoralie and Sean x

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The epicenter of financial activityfor investors is the StockExchange. Be it in London (FTSE),New York (NYSE), Paris (DAC),Johannesburg (JSE), Sydney (ASX)or just about any country in theworld - the stock exchange iswhere it all happens.

On the corner of Wall and Broadstreets, the site of GeorgeWashington's inauguration, theNew York Stock Exchange isperhaps the most iconic of themall. The famed Wall Street bullstatue standing proudly on thecorner is snapped by thousandsof tourists sensing the energy andimportance of this place.Ironically, fewer than 24% ofthese people actually own anystock or invest in the stockmarket.

What pops out when you visit thefloor of the NYSE or the LondonStock Exchange is how fewpeople seem to be working at thetrading posts. This is always a bitof a letdown for me. I keephoping to see crazy tradersrunning around with tickets intheir hands like we see in themovies Wall Street or TradingPlaces.

But those days are long gone,replaced with electronic tradingfrom all over the world, andthat's a good thing for individualinvestors like you and me.Investing is more available, moreaccessible, more transparent, andcheaper than ever before. No

need to ring up your brokeranymore to buy a "lot" (100shares) of a stock.

That's because we have access tolow-cost investing like neverbefore. We also have access fromwhere ever we happen to be.Sitting on the beach inMozambique - a quick buy or sellvia my online broker and back toliving life.

That's pretty awesome – to beable to buy hundreds orthousands of a stock, to becomea part-owner (even just afraction) of great businesses forless than a six-pack of somethingnicely chilled.

One way (the best, in my mind)to take advantage of it is to setup an investing plan via an onlinebroker in an index tracking fundor Exchange Traded Fund (ETF)and commit to it for the longterm. Through the highs and thelows. Get a plan and stick with it.That's what I've been doing forwell over twelve years now andwhat I’ve got my nieces andnephews doing. Each month theyare setting aside some money toinvest into businesses (as I preferto think of it) that they plan tohold for a long time.

Not tickers. Not charts. Nottrading. Not “great tips” from thehairdresserGreat Businesses + Investing +

Long term.That's the Wealth Chef Recipe.

So whenit comestohelpingmy family put their money towork, I do what I always do – Iturn to Expand Your DoughRecipe in The Wealth Chef book.

I stick to the tried-and-truewealthy approach to regular andconsistent investing, thinking ofmy stocks as businesses with trueassets, competitive advantages,and earnings power. I invest withthe intention of owning for years- decades, even.

And that's the huge differencebetween Wealth Chef investingand the kind of activityconducted by so many traders,whether they are on the floor ofthe NYSE, FTSE, ASX or DAC;sitting in a hedge fund officesuite; trying to catch the spreadon the forex market; orexcessively trading a client'saccount in Any Town, WORLD.Wealth Chefs are business-oriented, long-term investors.We know the value of beingowners of great companies andsharing in the value.

It has worked well for me and itcan work for you, too.

Ann Wilson is a multi-millionaire with a difference.Today Ann is a woman with a mission and a bigmessage for the World as ‘The Wealth Chef’. The WealthChef International works with people all over the world,bringing much needed wealth education and hope tothousands from every walk of life. Ann is a sought aftermoney expert and speaker by large corporations. Get in

touch with her @thewealthchef

Wealth ChefThe secret is out: How to beat the market

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(At order stage. Offer ends 31.7.15)

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COMMUNITYCitizens’ Advice 01329 237121Community Association 01489 881190Fareham Borough Council 01329 236100Meadowside Leisure Centre 01489 577464Rotary Club of Whiteley 07599 937252Town Council 01329 835019Whiteley Church 07760 771667Whiteley Community Centre 01489 880041Whiteley Guide and Brownies 01489885748Whiteley Scout Group 07808 301176Winchester City Council 01962 840222Police 101 or emergency 999RSPCA 01329 667541Victim Support 0845 3899528

HEALTHAlcoholics Anonymous 0845 7697555Dental Helpline 0845 0508345Whiteley Dental Practice 01489 564203Doctor’s Surgery 01489 881982NHS Direct 111NHS Smoking Helpline 0800 0224332

SCHOOLSCornerstone CofE Primary School01489 660750Henry Cort Community College01329 843127Whiteley Primary School 01489 881601Whiteley Pre-School 01489 565717

TRAVELCoastguard 023 8032 9486National Rail Enquiries 08457 484950

First Bus Service023 9286 2412Hampshire Highways0845 8504422

Love where you live!

Important Phone Numbers

PPuuzzzle Answezle AnswersrsJuly 2015

HONEYCOMB

KID’S PAGE

WHITELEY TOWNSWOMEN’S GUILD

Want to meet new people? Why not come along?

To Whiteley Primary School, Gull Coppice, off Yew Tree Drive,Whiteley on the third Wednesday of each month at 7.15 p.m.We have a varied programme of events and speakers. Wehave a craft section, reading group, gardening group, lunchclub, cinema/theatre club & weather permitting, a walkinggroup. New members and visitors are always welcome.

Meetings always end with a cup of tea, or coffee and a chat.For more information please contact:-

Mrs Sue Hall (Chairman) Tel No: 01489 881721

Mrs Jane Vardy (Press Secretary) Tel No:01489 881902

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Anger shows its face up in manydifferent scenarios particularly inrelationships. We get triggeredinto anger by many differentthings but arguments can oftenflare up when in fact all it is, is adifference of opinion.

We are never all going to see theworld in the same way – andthank goodness because it wouldbe very boring if we did. We allsee the world through differentglasses. For example aGreenpeace activist will look atwhat is done in the Amazonthrough their environmentalistmindset of it being a tragedywhereas a multi-nationalcorporation will have otherpriorities. Both would argue theirpoint of view till the cows comehome and neither will everconcede to the other’s opinion.

This is just an example of thediversity of the world and theywill always exist. We might notlike them but each is entitled totheir opinion.

Trouble is that when you takethose differing of opinions intorelationships it often ends upbeing turned into a personalargument rather than seeing thatit is just a conversation about twodifferent viewpoints. It is all tooeasy to get into the place whereyou fight your ground and try tomake the other person wrong,feeling the need to be the onewho is right.

Without forethought it is virtuallyimpossible in that adversarialmoment to step back and agreeto differ. Once we are in thefeeling of wanting to prove our

point, to be right how can westep back?

One simple technique is to agreea phrase that brings both of youout of the illusion of needing tobe right. It can wake you up andhelp you see that this topic is notworth creating a huge personalargument about it – that yourrelationship is actually worthmore than this topic. The trick isto agree it beforehand.

So in what I call a sober moment– when you are feeling veryhappy with each other and haveno axe to grind – have a chatabout wanting to pre-empt thearguments you have over adiffering of opinion. The reasonyou talk about it away from theargument is that you can both setan intention to use this method.

You agree a wake up phrase,something either of you can sayin the moment that wakes you upfrom the compulsion to win yourcase and helps you see that it isonly a differing of opinion. It canbe any phrase – either related tothe situation or not. Forexample, you could say – “Heythis is one of those momentwhere we can agree to disagree”.

Or if you feel that would not stop

Differences of Opinion

Jessica offers Life Guidance, connecting back to your spirit, the true heart of you. If you wantto know more you can visit her website http://www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com

Remarkable Relationships

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the flow of thoughts so easily you can use a sillyphrase – mine is “the peas are green thissummer” feel free to borrow it if it helps.

The key is that this is an agreement between you,set an intention that when one of you uses thephrase it is time to agree to disagree and then –and this is so important - change the subject!

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FAREHAM COUNCIL

REF LOCATION PROPOSAL

P/15/0457/LP 8 Haflinger Drive WhiteleyFareham PO15 7DX

Certificate for lawfulness for proposed single storey rearextension.

P/15/0437/TO Land South Of 10 Defoe CloseWhiteley Fareham PO15 7JF

One oak and one ash protected by tpo 183: tip reduce onwestern side of tree back to previous pruning points.

WINCHESTER COUNCIL

W24176/01 Unit F2 Whiteley ShoppingCentre Whiteley Way WhiteleyFareham Hampshire PO15 7PD

Installation of external plant

W23018/02A Unit G4 Whiteley ShoppingCentre Whiteley Way WhiteleyFareham Hampshire PO15 7PD

Proposed 1no. fascia signage panel, 2no. window signs.and a fixed projecting sign.

W24176 Unit F2 Whiteley ShoppingCentre Whiteley Way WhiteleyFareham Hampshire PO15 7PD

1no. internally illuminated fascia sign, 2no. non-illuminated projecting signs, 1no. non illuminated plantersign and 1no. internally illuminated menu box

P lanning MattersA monthly round up of planning applications submitted since 1 May 2015

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Over the Hedge

“Our back garden”Scot Green & Shaun Marchant

9 Rattigan GardensWhiteley

Send in your garden pictures toeditor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk andyou could be featured next month!

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Grass Roots

The other evening there was aknock at the door. Outside was aman who informed me that thetree in the front garden neededto be pruned back and that hewas the person to do it for me.

Now the tree in question is aBetula ermanii which is knownfor its main characteristic whichis particularly stunning bark -creamy white, tinged with thefaintest blush of pink. It also hasa conical crown, catkins in thespring, mid green leavesthroughout the season and agentle yellow glow about it in theautumn. I love that tree. It is thefirst thing I see every morningand the birds sit in it andwelcome the day. I love it tosuch an extent that we paid for atelephone engineer to come andreroute the telephone wires thatran through its crown, ratherthan cut it back in any way,which would have beensignificantly easier and cheaperto do. So there is no way thatanyone was going to chop thecrown of that tree off, howeverenterprising they may have been.

The man on my door step lookedat me as though he could notbelieve his ears when I told himthis. He went away but it was thisman’s incredulity at my refusal tochop the tree back that made merealise what really divides thetrue gardener from the rest ofthe population.

It is this: - if a plant you love,such as the case of my Betula

ermanii, becomes entangled insome aspect of modern living, doyou sacrifice the plant or try andfind a way to save it?

Obviously there are situationswhen the plant has to go butthere are plenty of others werethe plant is sacrificed justbecause it is the easiest, quickestor cheapest thing to do,particularly with trees. I think itis so sad to see trees that havehad their heads chopped off, soto speak, especially when donebadly or incorrectly. It looksbrutal, impatient and aggressive.

That said, I have a dilemma onmy hands at the moment. Agarden which is being designedby my company, has a semi-mature willow tree in it, which is2m away from thehouse of theirnext doorneighbour. I thinkit should beremoved toprevent anydamage beinginflicted on thehouse in thefuture but thegarden ownerwants to keep itas it is a gracefultree which herchildren loveplaying around.

So what to do? Itbreaks my heartto get it removedyet it was planted

so badly in the first place that itwill eventually cause damage tothe neighbour’s house. So in thisinstance, it might be better topollard it (correct term forchopping its branches off) so thatit lives to see another day.

So, the conclusion I’ve eventuallyarrived at is that the truegardener is the one who plansahead.

For more info about this sort of thing,download the first chapter, FREE, of myforthcoming book ‘The Garden Equation.How to have a garden you love that fitsbeautifully into your lifestyle’ atwww.yorkshiregardendesigner.co.ukBy Sally Tierney,www.yorkshiregardendesigner.co.uk

Are you a true gardener?

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If there was such a thing as a Messometer- a tool for measuring views on mess, Iwonder where you'd put yourself? At thepristine end of the scale where everythinghas its rightful place and food is mostdefinitely to be eaten rather than playedwith? Somewhere in the middle, where agood amount of carefree messy play is

healthy, but only when balanced with asense of order and boundaries? Orperhaps at the far extreme? The kind ofhouse that when you walk in you’re notsure if it’s been burgled, in which caseCheerios and hamster food on the flooroffer daily opportunities for messy play!

With washing products now offering tripleaction cleaning the removal of stains ischild’s play, yet an aversion to gettingmessy is sadly commonplace amongparents and children. People watch in therain and you will probably see childrendiscouraged from exploring puddles withtheir whole bodies, feet or hands as,sidetracked by practicalities, us adults failto see the age-old learning value, not tomention sheer fun.

Returning to that messy scale, I’d like tothink I’m somewhere in the middle, muchmore tolerant than my husband andgenerally able to see the positives ofmess! In fact I have always found myselfdrawn to messy and sensorial play, as well

as making a businessof it this has formeda key part of my ownchildren’s childhood,be it offering sand,shredded paper,water, cookedcouscous, driedlentils and rice, sandypaint or shavingfoam. With adequateplanning andpreparation, messyplay can provide acalm and enrichingexperience for allinvolved, but I’velearnt the hard waythat preparation andboundaries are key toensuring that this is astress freeexperience.

I can still rememberan episode ofparticularly messyplay with cookedcouscous. Heavilypregnant, my

husband arrived home from work to findme under the kitchen table on all fours,scraping sticky gunge, sprayed by mycreative 3 year old all over the kitchen!Taking a work call in the middle of theplay taught me a hard lesson. Allowing mydaughter to experiment Jackson Pollackstyle with couscous it left me close totears with exhaustion reaping theconsequences of messy play!

If you’re not a natural lover of gettingmessy then it’s good to know that there’sa wealth of research on the huge benefitsof giving children a sensory education.Persuaded of its importance, the next stepis making sure that we don’t inadvertentlyproject our anxieties about mess andclearing up as children picking up adultvibes and this can affect their ability toexplore and become truly immersed.

When trying something new or personallychallenging, the best approach can oftenbe taking it slowly. So dipping your toe inthe world of messy play means leavingcooked couscous to the last! Mostmaterials have the potential to be usedfor messy or sensory play but that is notto suggest that they are uniform in theway they perform, respond to touch orappeal to children. For a child withsensory processing issues, who can’thappily touch sticky wet substances, anawareness of the wealth of messy playpossibilities may be key to including them.Far from being an issue just for specialneeds, growing numbers of children findtouching wet sticky things particularlychallenging.

A good (and low cost) starting point couldbe a paddling pool or washing-up bowlfilled with shredded paper, sand or driedlentils. Simply add a few containers andspoons for pouring and filling, (recycledpots and funnels are great) and get stuckin. Best of all June is the perfect time fortaking messy play outdoors, so what’s notto like?

For more fun sensory play activities, Sue’slatest research, resources and training goto www.playtoz.co.uk.sue@playtoz.co.uk01206 796722

Parrywood Pre-School, Burridge is based inBurridge Village Hall, we are a small and friendlysetting where the children learn through play in alovely rural location.

The Pre-School - formerly Curdridge Caterpillars -is registered with Ofsted and approved to provideEarly Years Funding and 2 year old funding aswell as accepting a wide range of ChildcareVoucher schemes.

Give your child the best start and come and havea look around.

Please call 01489 881081 or emailburridge@parrywoodchildcare.co.uk to

arrange a visit.

It’s al l Childs P layMessy Play

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23 - 26 October 2015

3001489 880123 | pizza-nonna.com

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