Business writing and grammar review

Business Writing and Business Writing and

Grammar ReviewGrammar Review

Your words represent you

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

LEARNING OBJECTIVES………………………………………………………………………………… 3

SECTION 1: WRITING FOR THE READER…..…………………………………………………………... 4

THE PURPOSE………………………………………………………………………………….. 6

THE CHANGES…………………………………………………………………………………. 6

PARTS OF A BUSINESS LETTER……………………………………………………………….. 7

WRITING FOR YOUR READER…………………………………………………………………. 10

ORGANIZATION…………………………………………………………………………….. 11

VISUAL APPEAL……………………………………………………………………………. 14

10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LETTER VISUALLY APPEALING...……………………………….. 25

TONE AND ATTITUDE………………………………………………………………………. 27

WRITING CHECKLIST……………………………………………………………………….. 30

SECTION 2: CLEANING IT UP………………………………………………………………….............. 31

GRAMMAR REVIEW 101.……………………………………………………………………….. 33

PARTS OF SPEECH………………………………………………………………………… 33

STRUCTURE………………………………………………………………………………… 36

VOICE……………………………………………………………………………………….. 38

PUNCTUATION………………………………………………………………………………. 42

SECTION 3: WRITING TO SALE………………………………………………………………………… 46

PERSUSIVE WRITING: WHAT IS IT?.................................................................................... 47

THE PERSUASIVE FORMAT……………………………………………………………………. 51

SECTION 4: THE NEW MAIL……………………………………………………………………………. 53

ETIQUETTE……………………………………………………………………………………… 54

WRITING FOR E-MAIL………………………………………………………………………….. 55

SECTION 5: COMMON BUSINESS DOCUMENTS……………………………………………………….. 58

INQUIRY…………………………………………………………………………………………. 59

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT…………………………………………………………………………... 60

FOLLOW-UP……………………………………………………………………………………. 61

PROMOTIONAL PUBLIC RELATIONS……………………………………………………………. 62

PROPOSAL……………………………………………………………………………………... 63

REFERENCE MATERIALS………………………………………………………………………………. 71

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1. Learn different styles of writing, methods of focus and organization, tone and capturing your reader in all formats of writing.

2. Learn how to avoid those grammar mistakes and spelling errors.

3. Learn how to sell your words.

4. Review e-mail formats and etiquette.

5. Review common business documents.

6. Practice, practice, practice.

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SSECTIONECTION 11

WWRITINGRITING FORFOR THETHE RREADEREADER

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Activity 1-1 Take five to write down a memory from your childhood where you and your friends were mischievous. This activity will be used for future activities.

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THE PURPOSE The purpose of writing in any medium, (journalism, business letters, novels, e-mails,) is to provide a service or a function for a reader.

THE FUNCTIONS OF WRITING To inform: giving the reader insight that he/she may not be aware of or may desire to know about To interpret: putting words into content the reader can understand To entertain: providing content to capture the readers attention

THE CHANGES Like all things, writing has evolved as life evolves. Technology and a fast-paced society has changed the way many people receive information. A traditionally long and informative letter has been replaced by a “to-the-point” letter. A reader’s attention span has also changed. A reader will usually absorb the beginning and the end of what the read, tuning out everything in between. With these changes, the elements and formats for successful writing have also changed. Traditional elements for successful writing include: 1. A strong reader focus 2. Clear and concise writing 3. Clean grammar and spelling Added elements for successful writing include: 1. Strong organization 2. An appropriate tone for the reader and the message 3. Visual appeal

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PARTS OF A BUSINESS LETTER

1. Letterhead: Used only on the first page; usually includes company logo and contact information.

2. Dateline: Date letter is being prepared; appearing a few lines below letterhead.

3. Inside Address: Address of reader as it will appear on envelope.

4. Attention Line: not always required; should be used when letter is addressed to a company, organization, or specific individual within a department. Should be underlined or printed in CAPITALS.

5. Salutation: Dear Sir/Madam, To whom it may concern, Gentlemen/Ladies are considered acceptable for letters requiring extreme formalities when reader’s name is unknown. Otherwise, use the reader’s name. Using the reader’s title is also acceptable in cases where the name is unknown and extreme formality is not necessary, (e.g. Dear Business Systems Manager:).

6. Subject Line: This is often omitted, but is a courtesy to the reader, alerting them of the content of the message. This allows the reader to decide if it requires immediate attention. The Subject Line should be underlined or CAPITALIZED.

7. Body: Actual message

8. Complimentary Closing: Polite and formal way to end a letter

a. Yours truly,

b. Sincerely yours,

c. Respectfully yours, Excessively familiar closings should be avoided except when used for special

situations or when reader is personally known to you:

a. Best wishes,

b. My condolences,

9. Company Signature: Often omitted in less formal correspondences since information appears in letterhead. Usually used when writer is a spokesperson for the company.

10. Signer’s Identification: Printed four lines below the previous items to allow space for a signature. It includes signer’s name and title.

11. Reference Initials: Often used when letter is prepared by another individual other than signer. This includes signer’s initials in capitals followed by a forward slash and the preparer’s initials in lower case. ( SI/pi)

12. Enclosure Reminder: This itemizes any enclosures being included with the letter as a courtesy to the reader and to prevent the discard of important items within the

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envelope.

13. “CC” Notation: As a courtesy, this alerts the readers that other copies were sent to other individuals (cc: Mr. Isamar Waswere)

Example 1-1 on the following page demonstrates the placement of each part of business a letter.

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1) (2) June 7, 200__

(3) University of Future Students

4 Education Avenue, Dorm P-3

School Ville, CA 92555

(4) ATTENTION: Ms. Kno Urstuff

(5) Dear Ms. Kno Urstuff:

(6) Subject: Student Internships

(7) Welcome to the Blood Bank of San Bernardino and Riverside Counties, your wellness partner in health

care. In pursuing your medical career you join the ranks of those committed to using their skills to save

lives and offer hope.

Here at the Blood Bank we help save lives by connecting donors and patients through the gift of blood. We

offer hope to patients in need and empower donors to give the most precious gift possible: Life.

Every eight minutes someone in our community needs blood. In fact, at least 500 donations are needed dai-

ly to support an annual 150, 000 transfusions. By ensuring blood and blood components are available when

needed, the Blood Bank plays a vital role in the lifesaving process. We serve more than 42 medical facili-

ties throughout the Inland Empire and operate five donor centers in San Bernardino, Riverside,

Ontario, the High Desert and la Quinta. We also hold a number of community blood drives daily.

Together with our health care partners, we strive to make a difference in as many lives as possible.

As you embark on your career remember that you, like the Blood Bank of San Bernardino and Riverside

Counties, are part of a lifesaving link. Together we can make a difference in the lives of patients in need.

Give hope – give life – give blood.

(8) Sincerely,

(9) Blood Bank of San Bernardino and Riverside Counties

(10) Frederick B. Axelrod, M.D., MBA

President/Chief Executive Officer

and Medical Director

(11) FBA:tlb

(12) Enclosure

(13) cc Mr. L. Earning

384 West Orange Show Road, San Bernardino, CA 92408 ● Tel: 909.885.6503 ● Fax: 909.381.2036

EX. 1-1

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WRITING FOR THE READER

The majority of readers in the business world are overworked, tired, distracted and incredibly busy. Therefore, these readers like to obtain information quickly in the most clear and concise method possible. It must capture their attention making organization and visual appeal crucial elements. And the tone and attitude you use will not only determine the opinion the reader makes about you and your business, but will also determine whether the reader wants to keep reading or respond.

Learning how to write to your audience will make you and your business look good to the reader and keep their focus.

The Reader Analysis Tool can be used to help organize your letter and make it effective for the reader.

Activity 1-2

READER ANALYSIS TOOL

Reader’s Background

Relationship to writer

Vocabulary lev-el

Basic Standard Technical

Tone Informal Neutral Formal

Information reader already knows

Details the reader needs to know

Reader’s reaction

Pleased Upset Indifferent

Action you want reader to take

Are there any secondary readers?

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ORGANIZATION: Writing something that will be read is always difficult. In school we are taught that writing is organized in an outlined formula. Traditional writings will have an introduction paragraph, following with supportive detail paragraphs and a conclusion or summation. The pyramid method of writing traditionally works with argumentative or descriptive writings, but can be used in reports, sales material and formal writings.

The Pyramid

But what if you need to get to the point immediately with as few words as possible?

The inverted pyramid method is most often used in some forms of business writing, media writing and e-mails because it provides the most pertinent information to the reader in the beginning and all additional information follows. This method works great because it can be easily edited to fit the medium being used. It also provides a simple and easy to remember formula for organization. The inverted pyramid begins with a LEAD that will always include the WHO, WHAT, WHEN and WHERE in the first paragraph followed by the WHY and HOW and other important facts or details in the subsequent paragraphs. The less important the facts and details, the lower the priority. This allows the writer and the proofreader to edit out content that may not be necessary to the reader. And it allows the reader to absorb the most important information before they tune out and don’t pay attention to the words they are reading.

INTRODUCTION : Introduces the topic or purpose of writing

DETAILS: Outlined Supporting Description

CONCLUSION: A summary of all previous paragraphs

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THE LEAD 5 W’s

Important Facts and

Details

Less Important

Least Important

THE LEAD

EDIT

The Inverted Pyramid

Using other tools such as the Herringbone Chart will help organize your words be-fore you write.

HERRINGBONE CHART

WHEN?

(time)

WHO?

(person, place, or thing)

WHY?

(reason)

WHAT?

(verb statement)

WHERE?

(place of action)

HOW?

(facts and details)

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Activity 1-3 Going back to Activity 1-1, answer the following questions:

1. What method did you use to write your story?

2. Did you use details?

3. Would a reader be entertained by your story?

4. Is your story informative?

5. How many paragraphs did you write?

Now share pass your story to a neighbor who will read your story and answer the following questions.

1. As a reader, did you find the story informative or entertaining?

2. Did you find that the writer interpreted the experience with details that you under-stood?

3. Were the writer’s thoughts well organized?

4. Without rereading the story, how much of it do you remember?

5. Was there anything that stood out in the story?

6. How many paragraphs did the writer use to tell their story?

7. What method of writing did the writer use?

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Visual Appeal: Ever here of the term “White Space?” White space is the unused areas around your words. This includes margins, space left at the end of your letter, space at the beginning of your letter, space surrounding your letterhead, or any additional unused space.

Finding the right balance of white space will add to the visual appeal of your letters, reports, articles, stories, presentations, web content or whatever you may be writing. A letter with too much white space at the bottom of a letter is top heavy. And a letter with too much white space at the top is empty and misplaced.

Visual appeal also includes paragraphing, sentence length and typeface. Paragraphs that are very long tend to be heavy and lose the readers focus. Having paragraphs that are too short makes it difficult for a reader to retain the information. And paragraphs with too many variations in length can become heavy.

ARRANGEMENT: Printing:

a. Letters should be single-spaced with double-spacing in between paragraphs.

b. Should be clear, smudge-free and dark. c. Errors should not be corrected or erased after printing. If errors are

detected, it’s better to reprint the letter with the corrections made. White space:

a. Center the body of letter on page by providing ample margin space on all sides.

b. If letter is short and brief, begin further down the page balancing the white space of the letter between the top and bottom margins.

c. If letter is long, use additional paper. Sentences and Paragraphing:

a. Breaks should come at logical points with an even appearance. Keep-ing paragraphs approximately the same length is more appealing to the reader’s eye.

STYLES: Full-blocked: Everything begins at left margin. Typically fastest style to prepare. Blocked: All parts begin at left margin except:

Dateline-Horizontal center Complimentary closing-Horizontal center Signatures: Horizontal center Attention/subject Line: Center or indented 5 to 10 spaces.

Semi-blocked/Modified blocked: Same as blocked except paragraphs are in-dented 5 to ten spaces or tab-indented once. Square-blocked: Same as full-blocked letter with two changes,

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Date appears on same line as inside address and ends at right-margin (line should be at least 50 spaces long to avoid inside address running into dateline)

Reference initials and enclosure appear on same lines as signature and signer’s identification

Simplified or AMS (Administrative Management Society): Same as full-blocked except,

No salutation/complimentary closing Entirely capitalized subject line without the word “subject” must be used Signer’s identification must be capitalized Lists must be indented five spaces unless numbered or lettered.

Numbered or lettered lists are blocked with no periods and the number or letter.

Examples 1-2 to 1-6 provide demonstrate of each style.

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EX. 1-2 Full-Blocked Letter

Tribute Partners in Education 222 W. Haveuseenit Ln, Ste B, Unseen, NW 25002

Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

June 7, 2007

Drake Connor Unseen University 5500 Unseen Blvd. Unseen, NW 25002 (952) 623-5541

Dear Mr. Connor

RE: PARTNERS IN EDUCATION ORDER FORM AND CALENDAR

I received your order form for processing and will be restarting your PIE account immediately, however, I discovered that the calendar that was attached to the order form was not completed. I am faxing you another calendar to be completed. Just circle the vacation days that your class will not be in-session. This includes holidays, in-service days, and vacation weeks.

Please complete this calendar and return it to us so we can complete your order and get the curriculum materials to you as soon as possible. For immediate processing, you may fax it back to us at (952) 665-4412.

Also, I am pleased to announce that we will be hosting two evening PIE training workshops at The Highland Newspaper and the Tribute Bulletin. The training workshops will include some of the following:

Lesson on how to use newspapers in the classroom as a teaching material and meet standards.

How the newspaper is constructed.

Creative ideas for use of the newspaper in the classroom.

Teaching materials that can be used in the classroom.

The training workshops will be held at the following facilities: Tribute Bulletin - Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 6 p.m. The Highland Newspaper - Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 6 p.m. There will be other workshops schedule after the beginning of the new year.

Seating is limited at each facility. Snacks and drinks will be provided. For more information or to re-serve a seat at a training workshop, please call (902) 673-9303 or e-mail me at [email protected].

Yours Truly

Reilly Bisee Eastern Region PIE Manager RB/cl

mailto:[email protected]

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EX. 1-3 Blocked Letter


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

June 7, 2007


Dear Mr. Connor:



Please complete this calendar and return it to us so we can complete your order and get the newspapers to you as soon as possible. For immediate processing, you may fax it back to us at (952) 665-4412.






The training workshops will be held at the following facilities:

Tribute Bulletin - Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 6 p.m. The Highland Newspaper - Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 6 p.m.

There will be other workshops schedule after the beginning of the new year.


Yours Truly,



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EX. 1-3 Semi-Blocked Letter


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

June 7, 2007


Dear Mr. Connor:










Seating is limited at each facility. Snacks and drinks will be provided. For more information or to reserve a seat at a training workshop, please call (902) 673-9303 or e-mail me at [email protected].

Yours Truly,



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EX. 1-4 Square-Blocked Letter


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

Drake Connor June 7, 2007 Unseen University 5500 Unseen Blvd. Unseen, NW 25002 (952) 623-5541

Dear Mr. Connor:













Yours Truly,



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EX. 1-5 Simplified Letter


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

June 7, 2007


PARTNERS IN EDUCATION ORDER FORM AND CALENDAR










Reilly Bisee, Eastern Region PIE Manager RB/cl


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Activity 1-4

Answer the following questions using examples 1-6 to 1-8 located on the following three pages.

1. Did you notice the paragraphs in each letter on the following three pages?

2. Which paragraphs were more visually appealing?

3. What about the sentences?

4. Did you notice any sentences that carried on too long?

5. Could you read the font?

6. Was there a font that you found easier to read?

7. Was there a font you had trouble reading?

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EX. 1-6

Prof. Orangutan

Unseen High School Library

473 Bangol Avenue

Ankh, MP 21767

(959) 391-4498

Re: Restarting PIE account for the 2007-2008 school year.

Dear Prof. Orangutan,

I would like to apologize for the inconvenience, but according to the Audit Bureau of Circulation regulations for Partners In

Education, your program does not meet the requirements for qualification to continue to receive sponsor-paid newspapers.

Regretfully, we cannot restart your PIE account for the 2007-2008 school year. Our auditors have notified us that a qualifying

program must be accredited with educational advancement. Unfortunately, literacy and library programs do not fall into this

category, including those at school sites. However, if you wish to continue to receive newspapers as a subscriber you can call our

customer service number at 1-999-522-0922 or visit our websites at Unseen Valley Newspaper Group: www.unseennews.com

Should any teachers at Pomona High School like to receive PIE for their classrooms, they can also visit our website at

www.unseennews.com/PIE, complete the order form and agreement of participation and fax it to (959) 344-4266 to start their

accounts. Again, I want to apologize for the inconvenience and regret that we can no longer provide sponsor-paid newspapers to

your program for the 2007-2008 school year.

Sincerely,

Reilly Bisee

Reilly Bisee- Partners In Education Manager Unseen Valley Newspaper Group 2239 Gannett Parkway, Bldg B., Ankh, MP 22407 O: 959.386.3970 F: 959.381.4266 E: [email protected] W: www.unseennews.com


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EX. 1-7


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412


Dear Mr. Connor,












Seating is limited at each facility. Snacks and drinks will be provided. For more information or to reserve a seat at a training workshop, please call (952) 673-9303 or e-mail me at [email protected].

Yours Truly,

Reilly Bisee Eastern Region PIE Manager


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EX. 1-8

Partners In Education The Highland, Tribute, Regional Facts 2239 Gannett Parkway, Ste B, Ankh, MP 22407 O: 959.483.9303 F: 959.483.6222 E: [email protected]

February 7, 2007

Mort Al Callings Executive Sales Representative Albeit-Consolidated, Inc. 2009 Eagerness Court Really, NW 27615 959.522.5702 [email protected] Dear Albeit-Consolidated, Re: Sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide I would like to send my appreciation on behalf of the PIE for the Tribute Bulletin, The Highland, the Regional Facts, and our PIE participants for sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide CD-ROM because your contribution to PIE will help us provide more resources for our teachers. Thank you for your support. Sincerely,


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10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LETTER VISUALLY APPEALING:

1. The best correspondence includes a variety of sentence lengths and do not require more than four punctuations.

2. The average length a sentence should be is between 15 to 18 words. Anything longer than 18 words can be broken into an additional sentence.

Example:

Our records indicate that you are now five days over due on a payment in the amount of $50.00 that was due on August 2, 2007 and will reflect on your credit report unless a payment is received no later than August 10, 2007 for the amount of $50.00.

Our records indicate that you are five days over due on a payment in the amount of $50.00, due August 2, 2007. This will reflect on your credit report unless a payment is received by August 10, 2007 for the amount of $50.00.

3. Lists of three points or more should be bulleted.

Example:

There are four possible selections for internship with us at Kraemer and Lopez: accounts payable, legal secretary, administrative assistant and research analyst.

There are four possible selections for internship with us at Kraemer and Lopez: accounts payable legal secretary administrative assistant research analyst

4. Good news should be conveyed in short sentences and short paragraphs and bad news should never be conveyed in a short sentence because the lack of information or detail can upset a reader.

Good news example:

It has come to my attention that your outstanding record of attendance during your first year of employment is to be commended at the next company luncheon.

Your outstanding attendance will be commended at the next company luncheon.

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Bad news example:

The article will be three days late.

The article will be three days late, but will include photographs and commentary that will fill at least ten columns inches.

5. Opening and closing paragraphs should not be longer than three to four lines.

6. Body paragraphs should not exceed 8 lines.

7. Typefaces should be easy to read and not too varied. Some typefaces that are commonly used and easy to read are listed as follows:

8. Never type a message in capitals, italics, underline or boldface unless emphasizing a specific point, especially in e-mail. Capitalizing a message in e-mail is considered rude.

Examples:

We can process your request upon completion of the attached documents.

FILL IN THE ATTACHED DOCUMENTS in order to process your request.

In order to process your request, you must fill complete the at-tached documents.

Font Size Where to use it

Bookman 12-18pt Headings, overheads, slides and computer screens

Baskerville 18+ Headings, overheads, slides and computer screens

Times Roman 12-18 Body paragraphs, reports and letters

Garamond 12-18 Body paragraphs, reports and letters

Univers 18+ Headlines and headings

Avant Garde 12-18 pt Headings, overheads, slides and computer screens

Helvetica 14-18pt Headings and subheads

Arial 10-18 Headings and subheads

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9. To justify or not. Decide ahead of time which alignment would best fit your letter. A clean and formal letter is often justified, meaning every sentence is aligned on both the left and right margins making the letter even on both sides. A left aligned or ragged right is a non-justified style commonly used in general or informal letters. It is appealing to the reader because is adds white space and usually breaks at natural points. Both are commonly symbolized on any writing program as lines demonstrating the format.

Left alignment or ragged right Centered alignment

Justified alignment Right alignment or ragged left

TONE AND ATTITUDE: Tone and attitude are all about how you convey your message. Ever heard the phrase, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it?” We quickly learn this phrase as we communicate with others in various situations. Most disagreements between parents and their teens are related to their tone of voice and the attitude being conveyed through words.

Activity 1-4

Read the discussion below and decide what tone you hear as you read it. Then with a partner, act out each line using the tone and attitude you think is being conveyed as you read the text.

Parent: Why are the dishes still in the sink? Teen: I had to do my homework. Parent: I asked that you have the dishes done before I come home from work so that I can make dinner. Teen: I know, but I had to do my homework. Parent: Then why aren’t the dishes done? Teen: I don’t know. Parent: Please, take care of the dishes right now so that I can begin fixing dinner. Teen: I KNOW...I AM.

Did you notice any changes in tone as you read the text allowed with another person?

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Tone can also be found in letters written to clients, customers, employees, co-workers, etc. The following paragraphs display different tones. See if you can pick up what tone is being used. Cold: Please find enclosed the following documents regarding the media packet

project for you perusal. Web content Brochure content Media packet design

You verbal input is required at the next meeting regarding media marketing on Wednesday.

Formal:

The following documents are enclosed for your review. Web content Brochure content Media packet design

We appreciate hearing your input at the meeting next Wednesday regarding media marketing.

Semi-formal: Please review the enclosed documents.

Web content Brochure content Media packet design

We welcome your comments at next Wednesday’s meeting. Informal: Here’s the documents for next Wednesday’s meeting. Can’t wait to hear what

you think. Choosing the right tone to use really depends on your reader and the content. Formal tones should be used for annual reports, technical reports and formal minutes. Semi-formal tones should be used for letters, memos, general reports and inner-office mail. Informal tones should be used for letters to someone you have known a long time, brief memos and e-mail messages.

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How do I write in a formal tone? 1. Write every word in full. Contractions should be replaced with the full words.

(Can’t = cannot, don’t = do not, it’s = it is) 2. Refer to the reader by their job title or job descriptions rather than their names. 3. Avoid the using I or me especially when writing as a company representative. Do

not use the company name or our company. Using those terms should be limited to contracts or memorandums of understanding when writing in the third person is necessary.

4. Use longer sentences and paragraphs no longer than eight lines long. 5. Use passive verbs especially when presenting negative information. 6. Avoid using emotions in your tone. 7. Use the You approach when needed. Example: 1. Please accept our apologies for the delay. 2. We hope that you have not been inconvenienced by the delay. Sentence 1 is acceptable, but is missing the You factor. Whereas sentence 2

shows the reader that your company cares about their inconvenience. Attitude is also conveyed in letters. While reading a letter, brochure, e-mail, memo, etc, a reader will pick up on the attitude of the writer. Simply choosing words carefully will convey whether you care about the reader’s needs, wants, or concerns. It will also convey whether you know what you are writing about or if you are in a particular mood. Here are a few examples where attitude is conveyed in different ways. 1. Your resume was received, but the position is closed. 2. Thank you for submitting your resume, however, the position has been

closed. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Sentence 1 is very informal and shows no appreciation to the reader. Simply adding the words “thank you” and “sorry” lets the reader know that their resume has been received and reviewed. Using words such as “thank you,” “please,” “sorry,” or “appreciate” will let the reader know that you are concerned about them. Never use accusatory words or expressions that blame the reader. 1. Because you have not paid your recent bill, your account is being closed. 2. Because the $1011.00 balance on your account is overdue by 90 days, your

account is being closed. Sentence 1 points the finger at the reader for non-payment of a overdue account. Sentence 2 explains that the account is overdue without accusing the reader for the non-payment. This is important because the reasons for non-payment are unknown to the writer and it may be a simple misunderstanding or delay. The writer is offering an opportunity for the issue to be resolved by not accusing the reader or insinuating it is the readers fault.

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WRITING CHECKLIST

Organization Did I organize my letter to accommodate the reader’s time? Did I organize my letter to provide the reader with what they need or want? Did I use a pyramid or inverted pyramid method to organize my letter? Sentences Did I use a variety of sentence lengths? Does my sentences exceed 15-18 words? Do my sentences require more than four punctuations? Did I use lists of more than three items in a sentence? Did I convey good news in shorter sentences and bad news in longer sentences? Paragraphs Are my paragraphs longer than eight lines? Are my opening or closing paragraphs less than four lines? Are my paragraphs equal in length? Appearance Does my letter have too much white space in any given area? Is the font I used legible to a reader? Did I use boldface, underlines, capitals, or italics appropriately? Do I need to use a justified or non justified format? Did I need to use a specific “blocked” format? Tone Does my tone convey my meaning? Is there anything is the tone of my letter that can be misconstrued by the reader? Does my tone seem formal, semi-formal, or informal? Does my tone convey that the reader is important? Attitude Does my letter portray my mood? Do I need to change any words to change the attitude of my letter? Will I get the response I desire from the reader?

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Activity 1-5

Take five minutes to write a letter to your reader about a backordered product that will not be shipped with their order of two other products. Use the tools provided in previous pages to organize your letter.

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SSECTIONECTION 22

CCLEANINGLEANING ITIT UPUP

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Grammar Review 101 Most readers’ biggest pet peeve is grammar and spelling errors. Grammatical errors become something that stays in their mind from the moment a grammatical error is noticed because the reader usually must read a sentence over and over again to understand it. Spelling errors also stick out like a sore thumb because, despite how poorly people say they spell, correct spelling is imbedded into the memory. Think back to when you noticed a word on a sign or in a text that just looked odd whether you knew it was correctly or incorrectly spelled. Cleaning up your writing is a great way to avoid having your reader associating your name, your face, your voice, or your company with grammar and spelling errors. This section will provide many activities and tools for avoiding those errors.

PARTS OF SPEECH:

Other parts of speech include: Personal Pronouns

Parts of speech Nouns Adjectives Verbs Adverbs

Definition Person, place, thing

Describe nouns and pronouns; answers what,

which, how many

Action words Describe verbs; answers how, why,

when, where

Examples boy tall climb slowly

girl little jump high

park crowded swim fast

building old write vigorously

bike rusted talk harmoniously

hammer heavy drive nearby

SINGULAR PLURAL

subjective objective possessive subjective objective possessive

1st person I me my, mine we us our, ours

2nd

person you you your, yours you you your, yours

3rd

person he

she

it

him

her

it

his

her hers

its

they

them their, theirs

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Demonstrative Pronouns

Indefinite Pronouns

Plural Interrogative-produces yes or no questions Both Ex: Both are expected Who Which Ex: Who do you want? Few to join. Whose What Several Whom

Countables-quantifies Relative-introduces relative adjectival clauses Some All Ex: Who That Ex: To whom I love. Any Most Some of Whose Which The car that we bought None the trees... Whom doesn’t run.

Auxiliary Verbs

Auxiliary Verb Tense Most Verb tenses can be changed by adding a suffix. Present +s Past + ed Future +ing

This That These Those

Near Far Near Far

Singular Singular Plural Plural

one someone anyone no one everyone

each somebody anybody nobody everybody

(n)either something anything nothing everything

Inflected or To BE/HAVE verbs:

is am are was were have has had

Modal verbs: can will shall may must

Inflected (To BE/HAVE Verbs) Modal Verbs

Present Tense Past Tense Present Tense Past Tense

is was can could

am were will would

are shall should

have had may might

has had must No tense change

35

Activity 2-1 1. Write the correct inflected verb tense next to each personal pronoun using the

verbs below: am was are were is have has had

2. Change each verb into past, present and future tense by adding the correct suffix.

+ing +ed +s

Pronoun Present Tense Past Tense

I

He

She

It

They

We

You

Verb Future Past Present

hop

skip

sing

glide

write

read

cook

talk

present

yell

buy

36

Structure: Parts of speech perform specific tasks when put together in a sentence. Nouns often function as the subject of a sentence. The subject is then paired with the predicate of a sentence (includes a verb that links it to another object or noun.)

S will represent the Subject

P will represent the Predicate

V will represent the Verb O will represent the Object

The tree diagram demonstrates the parts of a sentences. Activity 2-2 Using the letters below, label each part of speech in the sentences below. N = noun P = pronoun Adj = adjective V = verb A = auxiliary verb Adv = adverb 1. The picture was sketched by John. 2. George quickly turned off the light. 3. The sleepy baby was fussy. 4. The President called the Secretary of Defense to his office. 5. She has been notified of your tardiness. 6. I’ll put it on, but if it doesn’t match my jacket, I’ll take it off and pick out something

else.

Subject/noun

Predicate

Ex: The philanthropist donated many hours of time for the Children’s Fund.

Verb Object

Sentence/clause

37

Using the letters below label the following sentences in a tree diagram. S = Subject V = Verb P = Predicate O = Object 1. The picture was sketched by John. 2. George quickly turned off the light. 3. Joe was given a book. 4. The President called the Secretary of Defense to his office. 5. Your tardiness has been recorded. 6. The mice may have been seen by the cleaning staff.

38

Voice: Ever turned in a paper or report in school and had it returned with red comments on certain sentences that say PASSIVE? Generally when people communicate they use the active voice. This means the words are placed in an order that uses the structure of subject-verb-object. But, all to often, the passive voice is used in writing. This means that the structure has changed to object-verb-subject. This change is usually within the verb. Compare the following sets of sentences:

Active Passive I wrote Mary a letter. Mary’s letter was written by me. The boy ate the ice cream. The ice cream was eaten by the boy. They practiced the routine. The routine was practiced by them. Notice the difference in verb tense between the active sentences and the passive sentences. The passive sentences had an auxiliary verb added and the verbs were changed to past tense. Words that are often converted to a passive voice:

Was + past tense verb The sandwich was eaten by Jack. Were + past tense verb The letters were typed yesterday by the clerk. Have + be verbs + en Your records have been updated. Has + be verb + en The data may have been saved last night.

Modals are also used in passive sentences by simply adding the “to be” verbs or the “to have” verbs.

Can This could be the right picture. Will The star would be visible in the desert. Shall She should be there on time. May They might come for dinner. Must It must have been hot outside.

When to use the passive voice:

Least number of

passives per number of

words

Highest number of

passives per number of

words conv

ersa

tion

fictio

n

jour

nalis

tic

writ

ing

scie

ntif

ic

writin

g

e-m

ails

lette

r w

ritin

g fo

rmal

writ

ing

39

Activity 2-3 1. Rewrite the following paragraphs in a active voice. Our class made ice cream today. First two eggs were broken into the bowl. Then one cup of sugar and two teaspoons of vanilla were added and everything was blended together. There might have been a mess to clean up if Jonathan had not been there to wipe up the vanilla that tipped over. Dear Mr. Worthy, Today’s meeting with you has been a great pleasure. Our conversation regarding the possibilities of your baseball organization funding our T-Ball team was exciting. Our team can not wait to tour your organization before their next game. The team was overjoyed by the large sum you have offered to provide for equipment and gear. The new uniforms will be arriving in five days and the team will have them on when we vis-it your organization. Sincerely yours, C. Yasoon

40

Activity 2-4 Take two minutes to review your letter written in Activity 1-5. Look for the voice used in your letter. Also, look for tenses, nouns, verbs and sentence structure. Use the Proofreader’s Marks found in Ex: 2-1 to check for grammatical errors. Did you find any areas needing rewriting? Take five minutes to rewrite a paragraph from your letter in Activity 1-5 with any corrections that you discovered.

41

PROOFREADER’S MARKS

Delete

Delete and close up

Less space

Close up

Insert at this point (with insertion noted in margin

# Space or more space

Straighten ends of lines

Begin a new paragraph

No paragraph Spell out

Insert period Insert comma

Insert colon

Insert semicolon

Insert apostrophe

Insert quotation marks

=/ Insert hyphen

Brackets

Parenthesis

Transpost

/ Lowercase (with slash through the letter in the text)

Put in capitals (drawn under letters in text)

stet Restore crossed out words

(with dots under words in the text)

EX. 2-1

no

sp

,

;

‘

“

= [

( =

.

:

42

Punctuation:

Depending on what you are writing will determine when or how you use punctuation. Some letter styles require punctuation for everything, (the body, salutation, closing, etc.,) and other letters only require punctuation in the body of your message. Look at the following two letters and notice the difference in punctuation placement. Open punctuation: No punctuation used, except in the body. (Ex. 2-2) Standard punctuation: The salutation is followed by a colon and the complimentary closing is followed by a comma. (Ex. 2-3) EX. 2-2

Partners In Education The Highland, Tribute, Regional Facts

2239 Gannett Parkway, Ste B, Ankh, MP 22407 O: 959.483.9303 F: 959.483.6222 E: [email protected]

February 7, 2007

Mort Al Callings Executive Sales Representative Albeit-Consolidated, Inc. 2009 Eagerness Court Really, Nowhere 27615 959.522.5702 [email protected] Dear Albeit-Consolidated Re: Sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide I would like to send my appreciation on behalf of the PIE for the Tribute Bulletin, The Highland, the Regional Facts, and our PIE participants for sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide CD-ROM because your contribution to PIE will help us provide more resources for our teachers. Thank you for your support. Sincerely Reilly Bisee Eastern Region PIE Manager

RB/cl


43

EX. 2-3

Partners In Education The Highland, Tribute, Regional Facts

2239 Gannett Parkway, Ste B, Ankh, MP 22407 O: 959.483.9303 F: 959.483.6222 E: [email protected]

February 7, 2007

Mort Al Callings Executive Sales Representative Albeit-Consolidated, Inc. 2009 Eagerness Court Really, Nowhere 27615 959.522.5702 [email protected] Dear Albeit-Consolidated: Re: Sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide I would like to send my appreciation on behalf of the PIE for the Tribute Bulletin, The Highland, the Regional Facts, and our PIE participants for sponsoring the 2007 PIE Week Teacher’s Guide CD-ROM because your contribution to PIE will help us provide more resources for our teachers. Thank you for your support. Sincerely, Reilly Bisee Eastern Region PIE Manager

RB/cl


44

10 Common Rules for Comma Placement

1. Use commas to separate items in a series.

He grew cherries, apples, limes and oranges in his backyard.

2. Use between equal adjectives.

My new, red car had a scratch on it before I even left the dealership.

3. Use commas to separate independent clauses with coordinating conjunctions: but, yet, for, nor, or, while, and.

She applied for the job, but was not qualified for hire.

4. Use commas after a long introductory phrase used to begin a sentence.

After ten weeks of training, the intern was ready to apply for a job in the world.

5. Commas set off non-restrictive phrases and clauses. This means that the clause or phrase can be eliminated and the sentence would still have the same meaning.

At midnight, the enthusiastic crowd applauding, the Rocky Horror Picture Show began.

The team’s coach, Jacob Thomas, shouted at the referee.

6. Commas separate age and address from a person’s name.

Phil Botomist, 32, is now the Blood Bank’s newest phlebotomist.

Phil Botomist, 384 W. Orange Show Road in San Bernardino is the Blood Bank’s newest phlebotomist.

7. Use commas to clarify confusing material.

What the problem is, is certain to become clear over time.

8. Use commas to separate attributions from quotations.

The student explained, “ My homework was eaten by my guinea pig.”

9. Commas are used with states and dates.

She comes from Fort Wayne, Indiana, where Hoosiers live.

He was born on May 9, 1907.

10. Commas separate numbers larger than 999 when writing quantities. However, there is an exception for comma usage with decades, or trade names.

Use commas Don’t use commas

1,000 $10,000.00 1975 Petrol 2000

45

Activity 2-5 Read the letter below and add the correct punctuations where needed using the Proofreader’s Marks from Ex. 2-1.

Medieval Science Medical Center 1200 Eternity Road Faroutthere World 59746

Office 622 5824 Fax 623 7788 Website wwwmsmcom

February 15 2004 Mr Manny Faces Maintenance Department Castle Grey Skull Industries 1000 Eternia Lane Outofthis World 56734 Dear Mr faces We are happy to send you in confidence the medical information you requested con-cerning Mr Orco Zero Castle Grey Skull Industries employee filling a workers compen-sation claim. It has been determined by our medical professions that Mr Zero has injured his right wrist from repetitive motion from his current job duties with your company Therefore we are placing Mr Zero on temporary restrictions from his usually job duties and ask that Castle Grey Skull Industries provide him with modified job duties until he is re-evaluated in four weeks Please notify us of any changes in Mr Zeros condition and job duties if you have addi-tional question feel free to give us a call Sincerely Harvey Manowar Ph D Medieval Science Medical Center cc H Man

46

SSECTIONECTION 33

WWRITINGRITING TOTO SSALEALE

47

Persuasive writing: What is it? Persuasive writing seeks to convince its readers to embrace the point-of-view presented by appealing to the reader’s reason and understanding through argument and/or interests.

We are surrounded by persuasive materials everyday through many types of media. TV commercials newspaper ads junk mail internet ads magazine ads Brochures

Writing persuasively to sale your words to your reader begins with knowing your read-er and your purpose for writing to your reader. Choosing the right words, the right tone and organization also play an important role in selling your words. And, always re-member the You approach writing to sale your words. People like to know what’s it in for them, not what benefits you or your company. Tips for selling your writing: 1. Open your letter with the reader rather than the message. Ex: -Enclosed please find the documents you requested on Monday. -As you requested, here are the documents you requested on Monday. 2. Don’t start talking business and office procedures. Ex: -According to our customer service, you were angry about your service. -I understand there were some difficulties with the service you received. 3. Be courteous, personal and accountable. Use I versus we and you before I or me. Use words such as please, thank you, kindly. But make sure the words fit the occasion. Ex: -If we can be of any help, please feel free to call us anytime. -If I can be of any help, please call me anytime.

-I am available to assist you at anytime. -If you need further assistance, please let me know. 4. Use the reader’s name when appropriate. Ex: -I have not received your expense report, Joseph. -Joseph, if you give me your expense report before tonight, I can approve

your reimbursement by tomorrow. 5. Avoid sounding condescending. Ex: -It is obvious that you are unaware of the schools policies. -Our school policy explains…

48

6. Highlight the positives. Ex: -We cannot process your order until Monday. -We will begin processing your order beginning Monday morning. 7. Use a more conversational tone using the active voice, short and informal

sentences, and a personal touch. Ex: -I want to thank you for sending the report to me on such short notice. I

look forward to meeting with you to discuss the details. -I heard you were on maternity leave last month. Congratulations! I look

forward to meeting with you and seeing the baby pictures. And, I want to thank you for sending the report to me on such short notice. We can discuss the details after the baby pictures.

8. Explain the benefits to the reader. Letting the reader know that you understand their needs will result in a more positive response.

Ex: -We have a 24-hour nurse advice line. -Our 24-hour nurse advice line guarantees that someone can answer

those medical questions you are uncertain need immediate attention. 9. Try to interest your reader into doing what you want them to do instead of

demanding they do it. Ex: -Failure to comply before October 1, 2006 will result in foreclosure of your

property. -If you send us payment before October 1, 2006, we will stop the

foreclosure proceedings. 10. Don’t limit your correspondence to letter regarding business. Sending an

occasional personal note: congratulations, happy birthday, thank you will keep your name and face in their memory because it produces a visual impact.

11. Never write when your irritable or angry because it reflects in your tone. 12. Support your opinion by knowing the various sides of an issue will establish

credibility with your reader.

When to use persuasive writing:

1. When trying to obtain funding for your organization.

2. When asked to create sales material.

3. When dealing with a client/customer.

4. When needing to create a proposal for a particular purpose.

5. When trying to convenience the reader to change their point-of-view.

49

Activity 3-1 Review the business letter in Ex. 3-1 and answer the following questions. 1. What letter style did the writer use? 2. Did the writer address the reader in the opening? 3. What kind of tone did you pick up from the letter? 4. What kind of attitude does the reader have in the letter? 5. Did the reader present the benefits to the reader before discussing other details? 6. What details did the writer present to the reader? 7. Did the writer convenience the reader to respond in a way the writer expects? 8. What voice did the writer use and was it appropriate? 9. Is there anything in Ex. 3-1 you would change and why?

50

EX. 3-1


Phone: (952) 665-3371 Fax: (952) 665-4412

June 28, 2007 Dr. Harvey Manowar 1200 Eternity Road Faroutthere, World 59746 959.622.5824 Dear Dr. Manowar Re: Request for Funding On behalf of the Partners In Education program for the Tribute newspaper, I would like to thank you and Medieval Science Medical Center for your interest and continued support of the Partners In Ed-ucation program for the Tribute newspaper.

With help from Medieval Science Medical Center, we will be able to supply newspapers, curriculum materials and training programs to local schools, libraries, educational facilities and organizations to be used for educational purposes. And as a sponsor, you will receive specific benefits based on your sponsorship level found on the enclosed PIE Sponsor Information sheet and sponsorship form. PIE (Partners in Education) is a nationally recognized collaboration between corporate and community sponsors, local newspapers and schools providing students with the opportunity to become more literate and knowledgeable citizens. PIE provides local schools with class sets of sponsored newspapers, packed with news and information relevant to every grade level and subject area. We provide specially designed curriculum guides and student work sheets to enhance learning through real-life experiences relevant to student’s daily lives. We also offer student tours and teach-er workshops to help guide teachers in the use of newspapers in their classrooms as a teaching tool. Any public or private school, or literacy/reading program in the Unseen Valley can participate. We serve many school districts with an enrollment of more than 300,000 students. There are also library literacy programs, adult schools, and occupational centers that benefit from our PIE program. Please find enclosed information on the Partners In Education program, a sponsorship form and a postage-paid envelope. I hope you will continue to be a sponsor to our great program. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at (959) 841-3948, Monday through Friday from 8 am to 5 pm PST, or via e-mail at [email protected]. I look forward to your response and your partnership. Sincerely Reilly Bisee

51

The Persuasive Format Knowing how to organize a persuasive letter is key to selling your words to the reader. Ex. 3-2 demonstrates how a persuasive letter should be written. EX. 3-2

Dear Mr. Faces, Castle Grey Skull Industries has always supported the Partners In Education (PIE) program. Your donation last year of $3,000 was truly appreciated and benefited so many schools. In light of the recent economic strains, funding for educational programs has become scarce and the students are losing out on so many great resources. I am aware that Castle Grey Skull Industries, like so many oth-er companies, is feeling the economic strain. However, we are asking you to rise to the challenge and once again take part in contributing to the PIE program and continue providing resources to educators and students. Your donation of $3,000 was used to provide newspapers, curriculum, online educational support and classroom workshops for more than 300 schools in the Unseen Valley last year. Another $3,000 contribution will encourage other companies to partner with PIE in providing wonderful resources to educators and students. As a $3,000 partner you will receive the benefits of having your logo published on our monthly Thank You ad and on our website. Castle Grey Skull Industries will also receive letters from local schools, special recognition at our educational events and workshops. Enclosed is a brochure explain the benefits our PIE to our local schools, educators and students. The brochure also explains the details of each donation packet and how it benefits your company. I have also included a donation form that can be completed and submitted with your donation. One behalf of Partners In Education and the many local schools we serve, thank you for you years of dedication and continued partnership. Sincerely, Reilly Bisee PIE Manager

Begin with a point that the reader can appreciate

Introduce the idea

Present your request

Details and benefits

Call for action

52

Activity 3-2 Imagine that you work in donor relations and donations have been incredibly low in recent weeks. Write a letter that could be sent to donors who have rarely donated, encouraging them to take part in the next big drive by making a donation. Remind them of the benefits to themselves and the community. And remind them of the great service they were given during their previous donation encouraging them to donate again.

53

SSECTIONECTION 44

TTHEHE NNEWEW MMAILAIL

54

Electronic Mail Electronic mail (E-mail) is today’s medium for communication. It’s quick, it’s paperless, it’s brief, and I can be sent to multiple people at one time with out a lot of effort. E-mail is acceptable when personal contact is not necessary, immediate delivery is required and informality is acceptable. E-mail has also become the primary method for contacting potential clients/customers, sending memos and inter-office mail, and notifications to anyone anywhere. Unfortunately, many writers discover through trial and error that they do not know the proper etiquette or formats for writing emails. They often forget that e-mail is not private or confidential and often can be viewed by others, especially if sent to the wrong reader.

Etiquette: 1. Think twice before you send or forward information by e-mail without permission

of the sender. Only send copies of your message to people who will want to receive them or needs the information you are sending.

2. Don’t send information that is sensitive, confidential, personal, or that you don’t want others to see. Remember that emails can be used in lawsuits.

3. Never use e-mail as a way to “chew” someone out or express outrage. E-mail can be deleted, but it will still exist on the server on in other files. Is this how you want the reader to remember you?

4. Avoid humor or sarcasm. It often gets lost in translation.

5. Use appropriate punctuation, capitalization and font style or effect. Remember that words in all CAPITALS implies yelling and all lowercase is letters is considered unprofessional and lazy.

6. Don’t use chat room abbreviations such as BTW, OMG, ROFL . The abbrevia-tions have different meanings for different readers.

7. Don’t use emoticons. They may be cute or set the mood, but are considered unprofessional.

8. Clever or personal signatures are great for home or personal e-mail, but not for the professional world. Leave the 2HOTGRANNY and the PHILDWITHLUV for personal e-mails.

9. Let the reader know you have sent an attachment in the body of your message. Sending them a file with no explanation is like coming to your office and seeing a file on your desk with no purpose or explanation for it being there.

10. Run spell-check.

55

11. Use words that are familiar to the reader.

12. Check the subject line before sending. Does it reflect your message.

13. Delete unnecessary material. Forwarded e-mails tend to become thread or blog-like after three or four forwards.

14. Never, never, never share or give away your e-mail password and update it often.

Writing an e-mail:

Just like a business letter that will be mailed to the reader, e-mail also follows specific elements for writing. Organization is important because you want the reader to retain the information they receive and read it all. Visual appeal is also is a must. Too much is just that . A reader will be quick to discard an e-mail that appears to be too much. And nothing at all is unprofessional and annoying to a reader.

Tone and attitude are also received by the reader. A reader will detect when the writer is not concerned with the message of the receiver. Writing for the reader is as important in e-mail is it is in standard writing. Consider the “what’s in it for me” approach. Remember, a reader wants to know why they have to read what you sent and whether it’s even worth reading. Putting the benefit to the reader early in your e-mail will grabs their attention. Appeal to the reader’s wants, needs and nature. EX. 4-1

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re- quest for funding

Attachments: Donation Forms (32KB)

Dear Dr. Manowar On behalf of the Partners In Education program for the Tribute newspaper, I would like to thank you and Medieval Science Medical Center for your interest and continued support of the Partners In Education program for the Tribute newspaper.

With help from Medieval Science Medical Center, we will be able to supply newspapers, curricu-lum materials and training programs to local schools, libraries, educational facilities and organi-zations to be used for educational purposes. And as a sponsor, you will receive specific benefits based on your sponsorship level found on the enclosed PIE Sponsor Information sheet and sponsorship form. PIE (Partners in Education) is a nationally recognized collaboration between corporate and community sponsors, local newspapers and schools providing students with the opportunity to become more literate and knowledgeable citizens. PIE provides local schools with class sets of

56

If you received the e-mail in Ex. 4-1, would you have scrolled down? Ex. 4-2 demonstrates the effectiveness of a “to-the-point” e-mail. EX. 4-2

Remember back to the beginning of Section 1 with the inverted pyramid. When organizing your e-mail letters, this is the best method for writing an e-mail. E-mails should not be extremely long and require a reader to scroll down more than two times.

Readers prefer that the beginning of an e-mail message provides all the information they need because they don’t want to scroll down. Requests and information placed a the bottom of an e-mail letter are often ignored. Therefore the inverted pyramid meth-od is ideal for e-mails.

Put everything you want the reader to know in the first five lines of an email. Place the request in the next couple lines. And all other less important information can follow. Remember, shorter is better with e-mail.

Activity 4-1

Using the e-mail layout on the next page, write an e-mail to a customer e-mailing a request for a hotel room during the week of a large convention and no vacancies.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Request for funding

Attachments: Donation Forms (32KB)

Dear Dr. Manowar: We apologize for the late processing of your order during the holiday. The unexpectedly large number of requests for Pooky Dolls has depleted our stock. Your order is currently on backorder and will be shipped in three days.

I hope you accept my sincerest apologies for the delay and any inconvenience this may have caused.

Thank you,

Reilly Bisee

Manager of Distribution

999.663.2217

57

Activity 4-1Activity 4-1

Using the e-mail layout below write an e-mail to a customer e-mailing a request for a hotel room during the week of a large convention and no vacancies.

1.Did you start with a greeting?

2. Did you think about the reader before composing your e-mail?

3. Is the subject line descriptive?

4. Is there a deadline involved?

5. Did you use the inverted pyramid method?

6. Did you include a signature box?

7. Are there any spelling errors?

To: From: Subject: Attachments:

58

SSECTIONECTION 55

CCOMMONOMMON BBUSINESSUSINESS DDOC-OC-

UMENTSUMENTS

59

EX. 5-1 Inquiry

Reilly Bisee

2500 Haveyouseenit Lane, Unseen Valley, NW 25567 Phone: 959.885.9761

September 28, 2008

First Bank, NA 800 Brooksedge Blv Neverseen, AW 43081

Re: Unauthorized Credit Inquiry, TransUnion, 5/08

To Whom It May Concern:,

I recently received a copy of my above-referenced credit report. The credit report showed a credit inquiry February 7, 2008 by your company that I do not recall authorizing. I understand that you shouldn’t be allowed to put an inquiry on my file unless I have authorized it. Please have this inquiry removed from my credit file because it is making it very difficult for me to acquire credit. Your action constitutes a violation of the Fair Credit Reporting Act and is illegal an injurious to my credit rating. Sincerely, Reilly Bisee

60

EX. 5-2 Acknowledgement

Pastor Search Committee


September 28, 2008

Dear Rev. Enlighten The Pastor Search Committee of Holy Church has been provided your name as a possible candidate for pastor. We are in the initial stages of our task. We are gathering several bits of information from our local church members. We are asking everyone to pray for our search to be directed by our Lord. We are confident of His direction in these matters. At this point, we simply desire to acknowledge we have received your name. If you would rather us not give the slightest consideration of you as a pastoral prospect, please drop us a note to remove your name from our search. We pray God directs you in all you do in service to Him. Sincerely Pastor Bill Murray Chairman, Pastor Search Committee

61

EX. 5-3 Follow-up

Mana Services


September 28, 2008

Manny Faces

Maintenance Department

Castle Grey Skull Industries

1000 Eternia Lane

Outofthis World 56734

Dear Manny Faces:

I'm writing to thank you for purchasing our Manaflux compactor. I'm confident that you are

pleased with the resulting reduction in your manufacturing costs. It is our pleasure to serve

you!

Allow me to mention a package which I'm confident will interest you.

To ensure that your new compactor operates at optimum efficiency, giving you maximum

performance, your compressor requires regular service. Studies have shown such mainte-

nance to be cheaper than the cost of a major overhaul required if the unit is not periodically

serviced. This is why I would like to introduce to you our Elite Service Package.

For $1,250 per year, we offer a semi-annual package with our service technicians arriving at

your premises twice a year to perform maintenance onsite, where it is most convenient. We

believe this necessary to ensure a long life of efficient compressor use.

I will be pleased to address any questions or concerns you may have; call me at

959.885.9761 if there is anything I can do for you.

Thank you for your business.

Sincerely,

Tony Montana

62

EX. 5-4 Promotional Public Relations

Hero Promotional Services 2500 Haveyouseenit Lane, Unseen Valley, NW 25567 Phone: 959.885.9761

September 28, 2008

Adam Man

Castle Grey Skull Industries

1000 Eternia Lane

Outofthis, World 56734

Dear Adam Man:

Did Ponce de Leon really discover a fountain of youth in Florida or did he merely have a

great public relations man? We will probably never know the true answer to this question. So

many questions still remain about so many historic people and happenings, because word of

mouth has the tremendous power of creating legends of its own.

We have mounted campaigns for relatively obscure firms that have resulted in their becom-

ing known and sought out as major entities in their respective fields of industry.

Articles placed in local and national publications, along with an advertising campaign, firms

have achieved the recognition and place within the industry much faster than without a pub-

lic relations promotion.

We would appreciate having the opportunity to speak with you personally and discuss some

of our ideas for promoting Castle Grey Skull Industries Please call me at 959.885.9761, in

order

to set up a convenient time for me to come and see you.

Very truly yours,

Sincerely,

Tony Montana

63

EX. 5-5 Proposals (Cover Letter)

Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. 100 Main Street, Any-City, Any-State, USA

O: 959.483.9303 F: 959.483.6222 E: [email protected]

September 28, 2008

Arthur Grantmaker

First Bank of OW

1000 Eternia Lane

Outofthis, World 56734

Dear Arthur Grantmaker:

RE: ENDOWMENT GRANT

Partners of Community is pleased to submit this request for your review. We look forward to

your partnership in our cooperative efforts to aid the communities within the Unseen Valley.

Our proposal requests $150,000 to launch our creative homeowner downpayment revolving

loan program to provide a 50/50 match downpayment to enable the low- and moderate-

income residents of Unseen Valley the opportunity to own their own homes.

Our homeownership downpayment loan model is creative in promoting homeownership

opportunities for the tenants of Ankh rental housing. This endowment grant program supports

the First Bank of OW objectives to promote community resident home-ownership

opportunities.

We have secured $250,000 funds to seed the program, have pre-qualified more than 100

community residents for downpayment loans, and bring a 50/50 match for every dollar in this

request.

For the last fifteen years, Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. has successfully

produced affordable housing in Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. We have

delivered more than 1,000 units of affordable housing to our community. Your ongoing

investment in our housing programs and projects will enable us to continue to effectively

serve our impoverished community, and its working poor residents.

Thank you for your interest in Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. We envision

building upon our collaborative success by developing our homeownership downpayment

loan program with you.

Sincerely,

Grant Find, CEO/Board Chair

64

EX. 5-5 Proposals (Cover Sheet)

Date of application: September 28, 2008

Name of organization: Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. (NIA)

Purpose of grant: IA will use Urban Betterment Foundation funds to form a housing manage-

ment company that will forge private and public partnerships to manage a portion of the City

-owned or controlled low-income housing units in our community.

Address of organization: 100 Main Street, Any-City, Any-State, USA

Telephone number: 888-800-8888

Executive director: Dolly Do-Good

Contact person and title: Grant Find, Director of Fundraising

Is your organization an IRS 501(c)(3) not-for-profit? Yes

If no, please explain:

Grant request: $150,000

Check one: General support: X Project support: N/A

Total organizational budget: $2,100,000

Budget Period: January 1, 2008 - through December 31, 2008

Total project budget: $250,000

Dates covered by project budget: June 1, 2008 - May 31, 20010

Project name: Do-Good Housing Management Initiative

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EX. 5-5 Proposals (Narrative)

I. PROJECT DESCRIPTION

A. Brief statement of problem to be addressed

Neighborhood Improvement Association, Inc. (NIA) is requesting a grant to strengthen the

capacity of our organization by funding the anticipated two-year planning, development,

implementation, start-up and expansion period for our new housing management company.

Our successful joint-venture bid to manage 250 units of multi-family low-income

homeownership housing, owned by the City, kicks-off our expanded management program to

attract working individuals and families back to an economically revitalizing area, and con-

tinue to stabilize and rebuild the economic base of this community.

However, our current organizational structure does not include the requisite separate housing

management company prescribed by the City in order to be qualified to enter into municipal

contracts to manage certain City-owned properties.

We will create a subsidiary housing management company structured to develop a

public/private partnership tailored to meet the City's criteria.

We will then be able to contract with the City to manage a portion of the 2,500 occupied City

-owned scattered-site substandard and inadequately maintained housing units in the

community area we serve.

The new housing management company will also enable us to, independently and more

effectively, manage the buildings that we currently own and manage.

B. Goals and objectives

Property management is a distinct profession and a difficult task under normal

circumstances. Low-income occupancy just increases the challenges. Regardless of our

growth, our residents deserve excellence and access. Residents who have complaints or are

looking for information must be able to contact an on-site resident manager and receive the

assistance and information they need. The importance of good housing management is

critical.

Our community is attractive because of its masonry tenement housing stock, its advantageous

location, proximity to downtown, good subway connections, and access to major regional

thoroughfares.

However, about half of the housing and land in community area which NIA serves is

publicly-owned; with approximately 18,500 units of City-owned or controlled housing, much

of which is substandard and inadequately maintained. Many of these buildings are small and

scattered, making them difficult to manage.

Faced with these statistics, ever-decreasing government funds and shrinking support services

and programs for this community, many would view this picture as futile.

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But, NIA sees this picture as an opportunity to produce efficient housing management

systems for this large resource of publicly-owned housing, significantly influencing the

housing needs of this neighborhood.

C. Target population

Established before the turn of the century, the community area of this city which NIA serves

is an impoverished community of more than 150,000 residents with a median household

income of $14,000 (CD 100), nearly all of whom are minority (Black (52%) and Hispanic

(39%), many are immigrants who arrive poor, with a lack of basic language skills, and

minimal social, educational and vocational skills necessary to gain employment and

participate in society. (2000 Census Data)

Culturally, the population features large extended families requiring greater financial

resources to sustain themselves. The unemployment rate is overwhelming. Much of this can

be traced to the lack of employable skills, or a mismatch between the skills of the residents

and those required by regional industries. Most of the members of the local community who

are employed work in low wage jobs such as machine operators, clerical support, service

work, sales and general labor.

In February, 1999, the City's Department of Housing (CDH) reported that the City's 1999

median monthly gross rent (including utilities), was $630. The 1999 City's Housing Vacancy

Report reported that those earning less than $20,000 pay about half of their income towards

housing costs; and the 2000 Housing Vacancy Report indicates little or no change.

The need for safe, decent affordable housing is critical for the community area which NIA

serves. NIA currently provides housing and related services for permanent and temporary

residents of this community, most with household incomes below 60 percent of the area

median household income.

D. Project activities

Establishing a new housing management company will permit us to expand and improve our

fast-paced two-year housing agenda responsibly, efficiently and effectively.

The new housing management company will create a reliable mechanism to quickly respond

to changing internal and external market conditions, and coordinate our management action

plans through joint-ventures.

We will use Urban Betterment Foundation funds to form a housing management company

that will forge private and public partnerships to manage 250 City-owned or controlled

low-income homeownership housing units in our community.

The result will double or even triple our residential property management capacity and will

benefit hundreds of additional low-income residents in our community.

Urban Betterment Foundation funds will greatly improve our delivery of competent

management services to more than 5,000 NIA residents in 150 scattered-site buildings, about

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the size of a small town.

E. Key Staff (Resumes are attached)

NIA has a staff of 75: 10 professional, including 5 property managers; 10 clerical support

staff, and 50 maintenance staff.

40 are full time, and 35 are part time.

Our staff, board members, and many of our 3,500 housing residents provide volunteer work

for our projects and community activities. Our Board of Directors serve on community

boards, charities, churches and other community service organizations.

In addition, NIA has fostered, built and maintained strong bonds and relationships with the

community-based organizations of our community, as well as the City's housing agencies, to

deliver a multiplicity of programs and services to the residents of this impoverished area

II. PLAN FOR MEASURING PROJECT RESULTS

We will measure our 2000/2 housing management project by the numerous housing

management programs and initiatives which we have developed and implemented over the

past 30 years which have already significantly impacted the practice of quality housing

management in our community, and stand as a model for the City.

We will submit a project report upon the completion of the 2000/2 fiscal year, funded in part

by the Urban Betterment Foundation.

We will keep detailed accurate, complete records of expenditures made under the Urban

Betterment Foundation grant, and participate actively in the evaluation of project activities

during the course of the 2000/2 fiscal year.

Upon request, we will the provide an audited financial statement of the income and

expenditure related to the grant by an independent certified public accountant as

documentation that the grant money is spent on the purposes for which it was provided.

Further, evaluation of NIA's overall effectiveness as a housing manager is measured by

resident satisfaction, and the level of successful tenant services provided. Our tenants serve on

our Board of Directors. The board meets monthly, and is closely involved with our programs,

management, and oversight.

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EX. 5-5 Proposal (Budget)

Budget Purpose:

General Operating

Project Support

Budget Period:

I. INCOME II. EXPENSE

SOURCES AMT USES AMT

Revenue General Operating Support

Government grants & contracts Salaries & Fringe Benefits (for project

budgets detail each position to be funded)

Banks & Foundations Salaries, Fringe & OTPS

Earned Income Salaries, Fringe & OTPS

Fundraising Insurance & taxes

Donations Consultants & professional fees

In-kind support In-kind expenses

I. TOTAL INCOME $ II. TOTAL EXPENSE $

Detail OTPS Expenses Subtotal OTPS Expenses $

Banks & Foundations Equipment

Earned Income Supplies

Earned Income Printing & copying

Earned Income, Banks & Founda- Telephone & fax

Earned Income, Banks & Founda- Postage & delivery

Earned Income Rent & utilities

Other Income (specify) Other Expense (specify)

Other Income Other Expense (specify)

Other Income Other Expense (specify)

I. TOTAL INCOME $ II. TOTAL EXPENSE $

NET INCOME (income less expense) $

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EX. 5-5 Proposal (Background )

Organization Background

History: In 1970, a few residents, merchants and church leaders banded together in an

informal block association to buy abandoned buildings in our neighborhood in an effort to

save the neighborhood from decay and destruction. They succeeded, and formed NIA, an

organization founded on the basis of self-sufficiency.

Today, 30 years later, NIA is a recognized not-for-profit leader in affordable housing

development and management in this city; a company with a $2 million annual operating

budget and a management portfolio of 2,500 units in 150 buildings.

Whole sections of our community are revitalized with new and rehabilitated safe, decent,

affordable housing developed and managed by our organization.

Mission: NIA's overriding objective is to deliver top-notch and comprehensive housing

development and management services to the residents of our neighborhood, while providing

leadership and a positive vision to the people of this community.

Current programs and accomplishments:

Year after year, we help the residents of this community take their neighborhoods back from

drugs, crime and decay. Building by building. Lot by lot. Block by block. We have

developed, on an average, nearly 70 affordable housing units for each of our 30 years.

Our current housing management portfolio represents the entire housing ladder, ranging from

housing for formerly homeless households to homeownership for low-income working

families. Our tremendous ten year growth record attests to our proficiency.

In 199X alone, NIA completed 25 buildings with 350 apartments, and started another 150

units in 10 more buildings. A total $50 million in construction in one year!

We built housing on a block where residents had to pay a "toll" to the gangs to walk through

unharmed. Today, residents live, work and walk on that block, safe and unharmed. Our

renovation of vacant tenements to rental apartments has attracted stable low-income working

families and new businesses to the area.

We built housing for the elderly and physically handicapped on a lot used as a heroin den,

filled with junk cars, garbage, drug dealers and users. Today, there is a park filled with

flowering trees and plants and sitting areas and 100 beautiful apartments housing our seniors

in peace and dignity.

Complimenting our housing efforts, we build gardens, plant trees, create murals, sponsor

festivals and activities for people of all ages. We train, educate, and provide support services

to NIA residents in order to help stabilize and rebuild the economic base of this community.

Since it's inception, NIA has held open, public annual board meetings and elections. Our

tenants serve on our Board, and every NIA housing resident is a member of our corporation.

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EX. 5-5 Proposal (Background/Conclusion/Appendices)

We are an organization with a clear vision and a passion for the future. Our goal is to be the

best community-based not-for-profit community-based affordable housing developer and

manager in the nation.

We draw on existing resources; the neighborhoods where we have built and re-built lots and

buildings; the creative potential of our residents; and turn them into assets to banish decay

and despair, to build a vibrant, healthy community.

Conclusion

Our community is a collection of many sub-communities which include a variety of old and

new mixed use residential buildings, an enormous amount of conventional elevator-type

public housing, and retail and small manufacturing firms. About half of this area's housing

and land is City-owned. The area is an ethnic blend with just over 90 percent of the residents

Black and Hispanic, most of whom are poor with a median household income of $14,000.

The need for affordable housing is more dramatic than the census data reveals, with a 10

percent under count verified by the City's Department of Housing and the Census Bureau.

This under reporting can be largely attributed to the number of public housing residents,

illegal aliens and the language barrier, making official census reporting extraordinarily

difficult.

NIA is a recognized not-for-profit leader in affordable housing development and

management in this city. We have a 30-year history that stands as a model for the City, a $2

million annual operating budget and a management portfolio of 2,500 units in 150 buildings.

The City is committed to a course of privatizing the management of its buildings. The future

of low-income housing in this community will be answered through public-private

partnerships, which have the support and backing of the community and the capability of

producing and managing affordable housing for the community's low-income residents.

A grant from the Urban Betterment Foundation will provide NIA the opportunity to form a

public-private partnership with the City to efficiently manage 250 City-owned low-income

homeownership housing units in our community, and continue to preserve, improve and

dignify the fabric of our community.

Appendices (Attachments)

Certificate of Incorporation and By-Laws

IRS 501(c)(3) determination letter

List of officers and Board of Directors

Staff Biographies and Key Staff Resumes

Organization Operating Budget

200X Audited Financial statement (fiscal year ending December 31, 200X, prepared by

Arnie Accountant, CPA, 888-999-7777)

List of other current funding sources and uses (5 years)

200X Annual Report

Two support letters

71

Reference Materials:

Geffner, Andrea B. How to Write Better Business Letters, New York: Baron’s Educa-tional Series, Inc., 2007. Watson, Jane, Business Writing Basics, British Columbia: Self-Counsel Press, 2007.

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Documents

Business writing and grammar review