Exemplar for the Essay Component of your summative ENG 3UI
Slide 2
Informal I think that the narrator of Boys and Girls, cant
reach her full potential because she is oppressed by male figures
and gender stereotypes. Formal Writing does not: -use I You or One
-use slang, clich or vague language -use contractions Its -Simple
language -Past tense
Slide 3
Informal I think that the narrator of Boys and Girls, cant
reach her full potential because she was oppressed by male figures
and gender stereotypes. Formal Writing does not: -use I You or One
-use slang, clich or vague language -use contractions: Its -Simple
language -Past Tense
Slide 4
Informal I think that the narrator of Boys and Girls cant reach
her full potential because she was oppressed by male figures and
gender stereotypes. Editing The narrator of Boys and Girls cant
reach her full potential because she is oppressed by male figures
and gender stereotypes.
Slide 5
Informal The narrator of Boys and Girls cant reach her full
potential because she is oppressed by male figures and gender
stereotypes. Editing The narrator of Boys and Girls cannot reach
her full potential because she is oppressed by male figures and
gender stereotypes.
Slide 6
Informal The narrator of Boys and Girls cannot reach her full
potential because she is oppressed by male figures and gender
stereotypes. Editing The narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature
and grow through self-discovery because she is oppressed by male
figures and gender stereotypes.
Slide 7
Formal The narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and grow
through self-discovery because she is oppressed by male figures and
gender stereotypes. Editing for elevated language The young female
narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and develop through
unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed by dominant male
figures and antiquated gender stereotypes.
Slide 8
Original Thesis I think that the narrator of Boys and Girls,
cant reach her full potential because she is oppressed by male
figures and gender stereotypes. Edited Thesis The young female
narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and develop through
unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed by dominant male
figures and antiquated gender stereotypes.
Slide 9
Deconstruction of Thesis Statement: This thesis statement will
prove that the narrator is unable fully discover who she will
mature to be because 1.) dominant male figures and 2.) antiquated
stereotypes Edited Thesis The young female narrator of Boys and
Girls cannot mature and develop through unbridled self-discovery
because she is oppressed by dominant male figures and antiquated
gender stereotypes.
Slide 10
Topic Sentence #1 The young female narrator is unable to come
of age through self discovery as her experiences are controlled by
the powerful male figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her
father. Topic Sentence #2 In addition to powerful male figures
dominating the narrators coming of age experience, the adult female
figures perpetuate antiquated gender stereotypes by fulfilling
their gender roles. Connecting your thesis to your Topic Sentences
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes.
Slide 11
Topic Sentence #1 The young female narrator is unable to come
of age through self discovery as her experiences are controlled by
the powerful male figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her
father. This topic sentence tells the reader that it will explore
how the salesman, Henry and her father oppressed her self
discovery. The three points that need proof are the characters
listed. Connecting your thesis to your Topic Sentences The young
female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and develop through
unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed by dominant male
figures and antiquated gender stereotypes.
Slide 12
1. Point: An important argument supporting your thesis. 2.
Proof: A specific quotation from the text to support your point. 3.
Explain: Connect your point and proof using details and
insight.
Slide 13
Point: An important argument supporting your thesis. The
narrator is unable to value her self- worth after she is
disregarded by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender.
Slide 14
Proof: A specific quotation from the text to support your
point. When her father says Like to have you meet my new hired
hand, the young girl is proud of her accomplishment and recognition
(p.4); The salesman however, belittles her work by saying I thought
it was only a girl (p. 4).
Slide 15
Explain: Connect your point and proof using details and
insight. By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 16
The narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is
disregarded by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When
her father says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young
girl is proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4). The
salesman however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was
only a girl (p. 4); By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman
teaches the narrator that being female is considered to be less
valuable than being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 17
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p. 4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 18
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 19
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 20
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 21
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 22
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to
embarrassment.
Slide 23
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to embarrassment.
Henry regards Laird with more respect than he does the female
narrator as they prepare to shoot Mack the horse.
Slide 24
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. The
young female narrator is unable to come of age through self
discovery as her experiences are controlled by powerful male
figures in her life: the salesman, Henry, and her father. The
narrator is unable to value her self worth after she is disregarded
by the salesman as a member of the weaker gender. When her father
says Like to have you meet my new hired hand, the young girl is
proud of her accomplishment and recognition (p.4); The salesman
however, belittles her work by saying I thought it was only a girl
(p.4). By using the phrase only a girl, the salesman teaches the
narrator that being female is considered to be less valuable than
being male and her pride immediately diminishes to embarrassment.
Henry regards Laird with more respect than he does the female
narrator as they prepare to shoot Mack the horse.
Slide 25
PPE Point 1 Proof 1 Explain 1 PPE Point 2 Proof 2 Explain 2 PPE
Point 2 Proof 2 Explain 2 T Transition into your next Topic
Sentence
Slide 26
The young female narrator of Boys and Girls cannot mature and
develop through unbridled self-discovery because she is oppressed
by dominant male figures and antiquated gender stereotypes. Use
similar language and ideas to sum up your thesis- but do not repeat
yourself. The narrators growth is greatly affected by both the
opinions of the strong men influencing her self-worth, and the
gender roles and ideologies that are perpetuated through by the
women in her life. Her final moment of self-discovery is that she
knows in her heart that she is only a girl and this knowledge has
an irreversible affect on her growth.
Slide 27
1. Thesis 2. Topic Sentence 3. Point, Proof, Explain x 3 1.
Conclusion
Slide 28
1. Thesis (What will your prove) 2. Topic Sentence (How you
will prove it) 3. Point, Proof, Explain x 3 (Prove it) 1.
Conclusion (Conclude your thoughts)
Slide 29
1. Thesis (What will your prove) *Appears at the end of your
essay introduction 2. Topic Sentence (How you will prove it)
*Begins every paragraph 3. Point, Proof, Explain x 3 (Prove it)
*Totals to 9 supporting sentences 1. Conclusion (Conclude your
thoughts) *Summarize your points in a final paragraph