Justin Halpern TNT

8/7/2019 Justin Halpern TNT

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I Have A TNT Show I’d Like To Pitch You

For those of you who don’t know, TNT KNOWS DRAMA. You

don’t believe me, check this shit out:

See. It says that shit right in their logo, and the word drama is

bolded, because they know it so well. You don’t do that unless

you know it super well. If TNT didn’t know drama that well, their

logo would say something like this:



But it doesn’t say that shit, does it? No. It says they know it. So,

when talking about drama, I think we should all assume a few

things based on TNT’s knowledge of it, which is far superior toour own. From what I’ve been able to gather from TNT, Drama is

mostly about having a main character’s last name be part of the

title of the show, while also creating a double entendre that also

describes the show and the conflict that will be the thrust of

it. Now you might be thinking, “What if the last name of my

character is like ‘Jenkins’ or something that can’t be used as a

double entendre? What should I do then?” Answer: STOP

BEING A F&*KIN’ IDIOT AND FIND A NAME THAT CAN.





Sometimes though, TNT throws you a curveball and is like “You

think you know Drama, BOOM, YOU DON’T BITCH.” Like in

the example of their brand new show below, where they took thename of the main character and they put the job she does IN THE

NAME.



See, when they pitched this, they were probably like “Her name is

Hawthorne, and the name of the show is Hawthorne.” And then

the executives were like “I don’t get it,” and then the writerslooked at each other and were like ‘THE RN IS CAPITALIZED,

BOO F*&KING YEAH!” and then the whole room, executives

included, went Game-7-Walk-Off-Homerun-Apeshit and everyone

hi-fived each other for about four and a half minutes until one of

them sighed a sigh to signifity how satisfying that reveal was.

Lastly, the most important thing about drama is that drama is about

showing cops, doctors, or lawyers. The more you have those

people in your show, the more drama you get in your show. Youdon’t think so? Allow me to let TNT whip it’s dick out and smack

you in the face.



So, after learning all this from TNT, we decided that we have come

up with the most dramatic show that has ever been thought of in

the history of the world. I bring you……



That’s right, his name is John Broom, and he’s a lawyer, cop, and

doctor. You could also call this show “BROOM: Lacopter,” which

would be super cool as well. Basically Mr. James Woods plays

John Broom, a loose cannon who doesn’t play by the rules of the

police deparment, Hospital, or law firm, all of whom employ him.At each place of employment, the guy in charge totally wants to

fire Broom, but Broom is just too god damned good at his job. The

pilot of the show, he chases down a criminal through the streets of

Los Angeles, and then shoots him. The cops arrive and they’re

like “You’re out of control Broom!”

Then the criminal has to go to the emergency room, because

Broom shot him, and Broom is there to operate on him, and the

doctors say some shit like “He’s lost too much blood, we can’t

operate on him,” and Broom cuts open one of HIS OWN VEINS

and just starts transfusing blood straight from his vein to thecriminals veins, all the while operating with his other hand, and the

doctors are like “this is outrageous, totally against protocol!” but

Broom saves the criminal’s life.



Then the district attorney comes in and is like, “we have all the

evidence we need to bust this guy,” and Broom takes off his doctor

scrubs and he’s wearing a suit, and he’s like “Not if I have

anything to do with it,” , and then the last act of the show, hedefends the criminal in court and proves the guy is innocent. Then

the super hot city prosecutor chick that totally wants to fuck

Broom turns to him and is like “Looks like you swept up this mess,

huh….Broom?” And Broom is like, “If only I could sweep you off

your feet.” Even though he totally could, but doesn’t because the

sexual tension is awesome.

BOOM, show ends. So, anyway, can someone forward this to

TNT so they don’t have to waste a bunch of time on some other

show?

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Justin Halpern TNT