Memorable Messages FINAL

Running head: MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT1

Memorable Messages: An Analysis on Messaging Impact

Monica Nowak

Central Michigan University

MEMORABLE MESSAGES: AN ANALYSIS ON MESSAGING IMPACT 2

Memorable Messages: An Analysis on Messaging Impact

Introduction

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one” (Nowak,

2014, p. 3). This is an example of a memorable message asserted from previous literature from a

mentor that has helped benefit the researcher in their life. Every individual is unique in the way

they view and receive a memorable message. Some people are able to interpret a memorable

message when they hear people’s stories while others may receive their memorable message

directly or in one sentence, similar to the one stated above.

Memorable Messages

Memorable messages, by definition, are remembered for a long period of time and may

or may not influence an individual’s behavior (Nazione, Laplante, Smith, Comacchione, & Stohl,

2006). These messages have been studied in multiple contexts, but they have yet to examine the

memorable messages being told to someone who is in college or asked how it has benefited them

in their life either presently upon receiving the message or later on in their lives.

There are many anecdotes and recollections of similar messages that pique our interest

when these messages are given by our friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, parents, etc.

Scholars Knapp, Stohl, and Reardon (2006) have said that most memorable messages are

influential statements. Some of these include: (1) “You can’t lead all lives;” (2) “This too shall

pass;” (3) “Some people are pushed through life, others are pulled;” and, (4) “You’ve never been

anything; you aren’t now; and won’t ever be anything.” Other scholars look at memorable

messages as either a brief oral injunction and are known as recalled messages instead of

memorable messages (Stohl, 1986). The recalled messages were generally provided by


individuals with higher status than the recipient, meaning the sender’s credibility seemed to

make it easier to recall and legitimize the message (Stohl, 1986).

Individuals are unique in their mental processes; no two people will look upon the same

memorable message and view it in the same way. Additionally, memorable messages could be

remembered in a negative or positive connotation, but are still able to benefit a person’s life

successfully. It is important to know how people interpret these messages and how they benefit

their lives. Thus, the follow research question is posed:

RQ: How do memorable messages received in college help impact people in their lives?

The current study will investigate how people utilized memorable messages to help them

navigate through their lives and how these experiences relate to different themes. This paper

discusses these memorable messages and provides an overview of memorable messages through

mentoring, how the message is interpreted, and how individuals internalize the message.

Review of Literature

Mentoring through Teachers

Memorable messages are important depending on who is the source of the message, the

method the message was delivered, and the internalization of the receiver on that particular

message. Scholars have even made connections between memorable messages and mentors;

some of which suggest that teachers and instructors are the primary conduits of memorable

messages.

Communication research has focused on mentoring as a “dialogic practice and the

precursor to career success, the effectiveness of mentoring over time, and the impact and mentee

characteristics on the mentoring process” (Wang, 2012, p. 336). According to researcher Wang

(2012) she stresses how there has been less attention on mentoring in communication and


research should study the skills and knowledge mentors transfer through their messages.

Relational researchers Fung and Carstensen (2003) echo this response and look closely at how

teachers are an important figure for delivering memorable messages which hold a constructed,

shared meaning, especially in a teacher-student relationship. Researchers have said that there are

communication behaviors that contribute to an interpersonal relationship the receiver obtains

from the source, that being the teacher (Wang, 2012). Teacher confirmation is an important

aspect because it looks at the process of teachers communicating with children, adults, students,

and elderly, and why these messages are valuable and significant enough for the individual to

remember (Wang, 2012). Teachers choose their words wisely when constructing a message for

someone. For example, if a student needs advice from a teacher about how to do better on a test,

the teacher could tell the student what things to study for and methods on how to study better.

During this time, the teacher could also compliment the student, which could lead to a

memorable message being perceived by the student through this interaction. This then gives the

teacher power and credibility by demonstrating an interpersonal relationship with the student and

showing signs of caring, which includes three factors: empathy, understanding, and

responsiveness (Wang, 2012).

Mentoring through Families

Other scholars argue that the primary source of memorable messages stems from family

socialization, mainly parents, serving as the key mentors. Typically, memorable messages

received in college are visualized as conceptualized success based on a grade point average or

college graduation (Kranstuber, Carr, & Hosek, 2012). Although these measures are important

goals of the college experience and great indicators of college success, research has also

suggested that parental communicative memorable messages are extremely beneficial for great


success in an individual’s life (Kranstuber, Carr, & Hosek, 2012). Scholars have argued that

family socialization and receiving messages from parents are equally long-running and

productive ways of tracing how we learn certain communication skills and strategies through the

interaction with parents and siblings (Medved, Brogan, McClanahan, Morris, & Shepherd,

2006). Memorable messages that come from parents are defined by Medved, Brogan,

McClanahan, Morris, and Shepherd (2006) propose three memorable messages: (1) “Your work

defines you – it makes you who you are;” (2) “Family is unconditional and means more than

anything else;” and (3) “It’s important to establish yourself in a career before you raise a family.”

All these messages carry a meaning that is constructed about work and family. Mothers are

usually the ones who are advising their daughters and providing them with messages about how

to do better in life. However, other scholars argue that a father-daughter relationship is more

beneficial for constructing a memorable message (Dunleavy, Wanzer, Kresmien, & Ruppel,

2011). Dunleavy, Wanzer, Kresmien, and Ruppel (2011) said fathers have a much greater

impact than mothers on a memorable message because daughters obtain information and advice

from their fathers on how a man behaves and interacts in these given situations through her self-

perceptions, thus causing the daughter to remember this message in the future. One scholar

suggested mothers are primary figure for mentoring, especially when a daughter is going through

her pregnancy period. Researchers say receiving a memorable message about motherhood is a

representation of a new role in a woman’s life (Hesiler & Butler-Ellis, 2008). Even though

teachers and parents both evoke memorable messages, memorable message are told in a

multitude of unique ways which have different impacts on different individuals.

Storytelling and Self-Disclosure


Memorable messages are interrupted in different ways either the receiver of the message

remembers it through storytelling and self-disclosure, or through computer mediated messages.

Storytelling and self-disclosure are linked together to show how memorable messages are

remembered. Scholars suggested memorable messages are told in storytelling methods because

human beings learn from other experiences, or even their own (Harris & Barnes, 2006). A story

is a creation of indelible messages and a container of important life lessons (Harris & Barnes,

2006). Stories are able to entertain, teach, and inspire. They ultimately are the greatest source for

teaching others and offering advice (Harris & Barnes, 2006). Metaphors are also linked to create

an understanding principle to give depth and substance to a memorable message. For example, if

a student did well on an essay they wrote for an English course, a mentor could say to the

student, “The paper winked at you with satisfaction.” That message would then be remembered

by the student because they had substantial success with their paper. Metaphorical messages are

memorable due to their creative approach and making it understandable and relatable to the

individual. Maclachlan (1983) said that a message needs to be familiar to your audience and

build on points of agreement. Additionally, storytelling holds motivation aspect to mediate the

relationship between the source and the receiver and to contribute to increased self-esteem

(Knapp, Stohl, & Reardon, 2006).

Computer Mediated Messages

Other scholars argue that memorable messages are remembered by computer mediated

methods. The advent of the internet has granted an array of ways to send memorable messages

including chat rooms, newsgroup, mailing list, social media platforms, and text-based

atmospheres. These tactics are collectively known as computer-mediated communication

(Ensher, Heun, & Blanchard, 2003). Research has significantly increased within these sites and


has even worked its way into both group and individual settings. What this means is when a boss

sends a message to the rest of his co-workers to compliment them on their achievements or hard

work, the rest of the co-workers may feel proud about that message which boosts their self-

esteem. There might even be someone in that group who influenced them to work hard and took

it as a memorable message. Memorable messages are usually conducted in a face-to-face

interaction, but the message can also be experienced through a text message (Dunleavy & Yang,

2015). Dunleavy and Yang (2015) have experienced memorable messages by student athletes

and explored how memorable messages delivered by coaches from high school athletes caused at

least one of the athletes to treasure it as an important message because it motivated and provided

social support. Moreover, Dunleacy and Yang (2015) researchers studied how memorable

messages were conducted among freshmen sorority girls in a group text message. The results

showed that the girls in the group messages felt support and encouragement and were motivated

by the messages to do their best work in college. However, other scholars argue that memorable

messages are short and simple sentences that get right to the point and trigger a light bulb effect

that does not occur within written communication (Stohl, 1986). Research Stohl (1986) say the

strength of hearing a message in person is much stronger than seeing a message because the

memory and brain can remember messages which are transmitted orally.

Decision-Making and Self-Assessment

Although memorable messages may be interpreted differently and people usually

remember the message depending on its source, scholars predict memorable messages are

internalized in a few varied ways including through decision-making processes and self-

assessment. Studies show several people who remembered a memorable message ended up being

influenced by them into making decisions in their life. Many people use different strategies when


making decisions in their life depending on their level of comfort and prior motivations. Making

decisions involves using multiple strategies in an adaptive way to balance goals of achievement

(Payne, Bettman, Coupey, & Johnson, 1992). Decisions are made under the influence of expert

advice. For example, a father giving advice to his son about what to do on a first date with a girl

is an example of expert advice. The advice given by the parent to the son will help him

understand his choices and what he needs to do because the father has gone through these steps

himself.

Barge and Schlueter (2004) conceptualized decision making and advice-taking consists of

a three-step cognitive process: (1) the valuation of advice; (2) the assessment of the “opinion

difference” or in this case the comparison between an advisor’s opinion and one’s own opinion;

and (3) the process of combining valuation and the opinion difference resulting in actual advice

utilization. When it comes to the first process, the valuation of advice, this type of advice is well-

established and there are more people using advice from experts to a greater degree than advice

from novices (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). An explanation of this phenomenon is the fact that the

strong influence of expert advice is why people value it more than novice advice, even before

they actually make a decision and discover the outcome of their decision (Barge & Schlueter,

2004). The areas of our brains represent value when receiving this information and also represent

value when people discover they will be receiving either expert or novice advice (Barge &

Schlueter, 2004). The second process, when people receive an advisor’s opinion, they compare it

to their initial opinion which could potentially spark a memorable message. This is the process

known as “comparison an opinion difference” (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). The opinion difference

is used when judging whether or not and to what degree a person is influenced by the advice.

Having more of an influence will result in them holding onto that message for a longer time


making the message memorable (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). Conversely, if the advisor’s opinion

disagrees with the person’s initial opinion, their opinion difference is high and the individual is

less influenced by the advice (Barge & Schlueter, 2004). Lastly, regarding the process of

combining valuation and opinion difference was clearly identified by researchers Barge and

Schlueter (2004) and represented the behavioral influence of advice. When a person receives

advice, the neural signal within this area should strictly reflect the consideration of the size of the

opinion difference and the expertise level of the advisor relative to each other. In other words,

there should be an interaction between the expertise level of an advisor and the quota of the

opinion difference.

Not only has decision making played a key role in what people should do with the

memorable message they received, but it is also affected through self-assessment. Previous

research on memorable messages simply asked people to recall messages that they perceived to

have had a major influence on their lives, but did not necessarily look at how it constructs to self-

assessment. Self-assessment looks at the ability to self-assess one’s strengths and weaknesses in

order to ensure and motivate the drive of one’s self (Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, & Wilson, 2001).

Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, and Wilson (2001) look closely at self-assessment as a way to look at

behaviors and attitudes which function between the comparison and values represented by

memorable messages (Rudy, Fejfar, Griffith, & Wilson, 2001). Scholars Smith & Ellis-Butler

(2001) see memorable messages as part of a complex system, to look at prior behaviors and

events taken in someone’s life before assessing the memorable message. Both negative and

positive events could be happening in someone’s life that may provoke negative memorable

messages (Smith & Ellis-Butler, 2001). In Smith and Ellis-Butler (2001) study, their initial

investigation of memorable messages looked at the behaviors that either exceeded or violated


respondent’s personal standards to be catalogued in order to gain a complete image of the types

of memorable messages that are used as guides to behavior. The researchers made sure to pay

close attention to personal standards such as the place, time, and with whom these behaviors

occurred (Smith & Ellis-Butler, 2001). This information will be valuable and predict why these

memorable messages were relevant at a specific point in someone’s life.

Methods and Procedure

Six participants were interviewed and examined to understand what and how individual

memorable messages received in college have impacted their lives. To be eligible for this study,

participating individuals had to have received the message during their college years either from

school or outside school, have the message that was told, and how it did or did not impact their

life. The researcher’s primary means of quota, convenience sampling was completed through

texting. Individuals considered for the study were easily accessible to the researcher and required

specific characteristics. The researcher contacted people via text message with the message

provided:

Hey, would you or someone you may know like to be part of a research project? I am doing a

qualitative research project and need to conduct six 30-45 minute interviews. These interviews

will be conducted face-to-face, via Skype, or over the phone. If you are interested or know

somebody who may be interested, please contact me and spread the love. Thanks!

The researcher successfully contacted fifteen people, but many of the interviewees were

unable to participate in the research because of work, school, or time constraint conflicts. As a

result, the researcher narrowed down the options and finally had a total of six participants. The

participants were contacted via telephone and asked to participate in a study exploring the

meaning behind their memorable messages.


The interviews were conducted using a different communication medium for each

individual. The first individual was Denise, a medical assistant who participated in the interview

over the telephone. The telephone was placed on speakerphone mode. The second individual

interviewed was Dr. Srauy, an assistant professor at Oakland University (OU), and his interview

was conducted at OU’s campus in his evening graduate class. The third was Kaylie, an instructor

at Central Michigan University who teaches an introduction to communication course, and took

place face-to-face at her apartment. The fourth was Hubert, a first-generation senior college

student at OU, who participated through an over the phone interview, similar to Denise. The fifth

individual was Dr. Almodovar, a gastroenterologist who participated in a face-to-face interview

which took place in her medical office. The last individual interviewed was Jonathan, a graduate

from OU, who participated in the interview via Skype.

All interviews were audio recorded for future transcription. The interviews were semi-

structured and lasted 22 minutes to 47 minutes. The questions included in the interviews started

out with general questions about memorable messages that were inspired from the literature and

more specific and probing questions were asked within the interview depending on what

information was provided. Some of the primary questions were as followed: (1) When you were

asked to think about a memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?

(2) Do you recall the exact words of the message? (3) What was going on in your life at that time

that made the message relevant to you? (4) What was your opinion of the source of the message

(e.g., the person who said it to you at the time)? (5) How did the message affect you (e.g., did it

have any impact on your actions or your attitude either immediately or later on)? (6) How has

this message continued to resonate with you? (e.g., is it something you think about from time to

time)? Follow-up questions were asked in addition to the primary questions as well.


All participants included different age, race, and ethnicity. Jonathan, Hubert, and Kaylie

were in their early twenties, Denise and Dr. Almodovar were in their late 50s, and Dr. Srauy was

in his mid-thirties. Jonathan and Kaylie are African-American, Dr. Almodovar is Hispanic, Dr.

Srauy is Asian, Hubert is Caucasian and Polish, and Denise was Caucasian with roots of

German, Swedish, and Romanian. The diverse individuals made the study more prominent in

obtaining memorable messages from when they were all in college.

Coding Procedures

After the interviews had been administered, the researcher transcribed and summarized

the interviews as detailed. Once transcribed, the data was coded for common themes using

Grounded Theory Model (Rubin & Rubin, 2012). Once selected, the common themes were

identified and analyzed further in detail.

Interpretation

The content analysis, in which coding categories were informed by the literature and

derived directly from the data, was employed. One key theme which was described and related to

memorable messages was effective mentoring impacting decision-making in life. Described

within this theme are specific behaviors and interactions which relate to how memorable

messages have helped them effectively or ineffectively in their life. The overarching theme

existed with all six participants and looked closely at the effective mentoring and decision

making choice in each individual’s life.

Effective Mentoring and Decision-Making:

Effective mentoring leading to decision-making is a common theme embedded with the

narrative dialogue of the individuals. All of the participants did have a mentor or someone who

was an older figure give the memorable message. Six out of the six participants looked closely at


the exchange of knowledge with that mentor provided and reconsidered what it was they were

doing with their life when they received their memorable message.

Participant #1: Denise.

Denise’s memorable message was by her English professor from OU which stated,

“What the hell are you doing?” This memorable message was something that has spoke to

Denise and has impacted her in her life. Denise explains:

...I was ready to get ready to quit college because I wanted to get married…[the message]

wasn’t relevant to me until probably twenty-two years later when I was going through a

divorce and realized that I didn’t have any marketable skills to support my wealth of my

kids in college or life, so that’s when it became really relevant. I was scared and that

particular time in my life and I was labeled as a displaced housewife. Not a divorced

woman, but a displaced housewife. I think that label was something that made me realize

something. It made me open my eyes up and [be] angry and livid. I kept telling myself,

no that’s not me and I am smart...Yes I had jobs…it wasn’t like I was a stay at home

mom. I was very active. But finally when it ended what was I suppose to do? That was

when it finally became relevant and the message of, ‘what the hell are you doing?’

emerged in my life (Nowak, 2015a, p. 3).

The dialogic narrative of Denise and reconsidering what she is doing with her life was an

indication of what other scholars have said about effective mentoring and decision-making.

Research Wang (2012) suggests that teacher mentors’ messages are most memorable because

they are represented as a person who they can go to advice and are able to see something special

about that person as they develop and grow over time. Similarly, Denise was the same way


because she obtained advice from her professor and had realized that she did not need a man in

order to move forward with her life.

Participant #2: Dr. Srauy.

The theme of effective mentoring and decision-making was also presented with Dr. Srauy

and his memorable message came from his boss who owned a company called Complete

Computive, a technology consulting firm. His boss stated, “Don’t worry about what to do, worry

about why you are doing it.” Dr. Srauy’s message was especially relevant to him when he was in

graduate school. Dr. Srauy explains:

You know like in your undergrad you are taught kind of what the answers are? Well, in a

very large way we teach you to think critically about them but we have these sort of

‘testing struggling’ that kind of tests you what you are doing…so instead of looking at

just the definition of race, we are learned in grad school why it is a social construction

and who constructed it…those questions become more important and I think that’s when

you learn to do that…[you] realize [the memorable messages] really are just magic boxes

that you can look into things even more closely (Nowak, 2015b, p. 2).

Dr. Srauy’s decision making process from his mentor was to always think critically and

ask the ‘why’ questions in life. Researcher Wang (2012) says teachers understand more about

mentoring as a way to enrich the understanding of how to effectively translate and communicate

these behaviors into someone’s life. Similarly, Dr. Srauy did the same when he was in graduate

school. Later on in his interview, he mentioned how he passed down this memorable message to

his current undergraduate students and raises the question why things are the way they are.

Participant #3: Kaylie.


Kaylie’s memorable message was given electronically through her CMU email from her

communication professor in her introduction to communication course. Her message stated,

“You did a good job on your speech and I understand your apprehension but you are a good

speaker and you are well-liked by your classmates. Just relax and it will be easier.” In Kaylie’s

interview, she said the message was a nice gesture but she does not believe that the message is

the sole reason where she is in her life right now. Kaylie said:

I was an interior design major and even apart from that I had a lot of problem public

speaking in front of people. My confidence was very low at the time. Getting this

message helped me, well I still didn’t believe it, but it still planted the seed in my head

‘maybe you are good at this’ so it was relevant because it kind of countered what I had

thought of myself and it was just encouragement…Honestly I would have preferred

getting [the message] in email because, no offense to him, but he was dry and I feel his

words wouldn’t mean anything in person (Nowak, 2015c, p. 2).

When asking Kaylie if she would pass down the message to others, it seemed as though

from her responses she would not pass it down. But surprisingly her answer showed otherwise.

She said:

Actually I would [pass down the message] and I do pass it down to other people. Well

even now, I have a student in my COM 101 class that is terrified of speaking in front of a

class and this something I was most excited about when I got the opportunity to teach…I

compliment my students both face-to-face and email…people can’t see the end of the

road but if they can see that you were there before, then the message is really important

(Nowak, 2015c, p. 8).


Ensher, Heun, and Blachard (2003) echoed this and said that memorable messages can

come from emails from a boss which emphasizes project work and also navigates and

compliments when a group has done a good job on a project. Similarly, Kaylie’s memorable

message came from a teacher instead of a boss. Additionally, like Dr Srauy, Kaylie passes down

her memorable messages to her students. The only major difference is that her message was

given via email.

Participant #4: Hubert.

Hubert’s memorable message was told by his creative writing professor at OU and her

words were clear, “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” In Hubert’s interview, there

was a clear indication that the message had an impact on his life to reconsider his major. Hubert

explains:

The message had a tremendous impact on me. This was a professor, pursuing her own

dreams of publishing a novel, giving me a message that made me feel like my success

and pursuit of the craft inspired her to really go for it as well. I was originally pursuing a

business degree, but after having Marie Masters and her creative writing course, plus

receiving such an awesome message from a person I admired, I changed my major from

business to English and have never looked back. Doubts that used to exist no longer exist

anymore. I’m confident I’m pursuing the correct course with my life and the message I

received helped me realize that my dreams weren’t impossible. In fact, they never felt

more possible. If anything, my dreams have grown exponentially since that one faithful

day (Nowak, 2015d, p. 3).

The message was extremely important to him and it was so important it shifted his career

path to become an English major. Hubert also makes note earlier in the interview how intelligent


his professor was and all the things he has learned from her. People who are inclined to be

decision makers encounter people with in-depth knowledge who can provide high quality advice,

and less-informed people provide advice of a lesser quality (Barge & Schlueter, 2004).

Furthermore, both Dr. Srauy, and Kaylie said in their interview that they would pass along this

message to others. Likewise, Hubert said he would pass down his message as well and stated:

It might seem silly, but it’s pretty important to me. The harder I work now, the more

success I have during the course of my lifetime, the more that message would mean to a

young student. If I become a great author, I mean truly great, I feel like bestowing a

young writer with that same exact message would really pan out well. It would show

them that despite who I am and how much I’ve accomplished; I see something in their

work. Something acknowledgeable. I would only hope that if I ever do get the chance to

give this message to another, it would have the same incredible impact on them as it did

on me (Nowak, 2015d, p. 6).

Seeing that Hubert wants to be a mentor for someone else’s life shows how effective it is

to carry the message from someone who has said the meaningful words which motivated him to

do his best work. Researcher Wang (2012) explained mentors are effective in increasing

students’ self-esteem and helping them reach their potential. Just like Hubert would like to boost

someone’s self.

Participant #5: Dr. Almodovar.

Dr. Almodovar’s message came from a professor from the University of Alabama when

she was working on her fellowship and her message stated, “Pursue your dreams but to also

nourish my soul and not forget to continue working on relationships with my coworkers and co-


students. Never to be pretentious or anything like that but to always carry a good relationship

with other people in my life because life is short.” Dr. Almodovar’s message helped her realize

and decide what she really wanted in life, and that was to be a great mom and help her three

children with a similar message she received. The message she told her kids was:

Oh definitely to work hard, never expect anything to just fall from the sky, and to be

humble. I guess that is three messages but they all fit into just one message for me. I want

my kids to be humble about their gifts and to never rub your talents to other students.

That’s not a wise thing to do. You should be really humble and quiet about your gifts,

don’t advertise your gifts. But of course if someone asks for your help, then they should

be happy to help them but they shouldn’t rub it in and say how amazing you are, right?

So that’s what I wanted my kids to do (Nowak, 2015e, p. 5).

Dr. Almodovar decision-making process classified her into being different identities. She

is a doctor when it comes to her work, a wife to her husband, and a mother to her kids. In her

interview, she mentioned how her favorite job is being a mom and making that decision in using

the message she received for her kids was one of the best decisions she has ever done and she

thanks her mentor for that message. Although many scholars view it as mentors, scholars Lench

and Levine (2005) say that mentors are those who emphasize their need to provide both positive

and negative feedback. The researchers say protégés fit the better description because it focuses

on only positive feedback (Lench & Levine, 2005). In this case, Dr. Almodovar only provided

positive feedback making her a protégé.

Participant #6: Jonathan.


The last and final participant, Jonathan, received his memorable message at the 2014

Spring Commencement at OU from an OU alum who received the “Meritorious Achievement

Award.” Although Jonathan did not recall the exact words of the message he did say that the

message was mostly about encouraging the entire graduating class to look beyond just achieving

a good career or steady income, and to do something for those within the OU community.

Jonathan explained how the message was relevant to him in shaping and giving back to OU. He

said:

…when Charlie revealed that he was just as clueless about what he wanted to do

with the rest of his life, I was slightly comforted by his words. However, what he said

afterwards about doing more than just getting a steady job spoke to me, because there is a

lot more to life than just achieving wealth. Our community and the people that we

surround ourselves with should always come first...I feel as if his message really

impacted me later on in my senior year at Oakland University because I was still a junior

at the time, while he was on his way to graduating. However, as I was approaching my

own graduation, I had often thought about how I could give back to the OU community.

Then, a few weeks after I received my degree, I’d heard that OU’s Horizon League was

in need of camera operators and video production specialists. These were two areas of

interest that I had studied at Oakland University, so I figured this was the perfect way I

could give back to the school which had already given so much to me (Nowak, 2015f, p.

2 & 4).

Jonathan took the words of the OU alum and applied the words to his life and reached a

decision not to worry about where his life would take him. According to Payne, Bettman,

Coupey, and Johnson (1992), goal setting and career paths are linked with decision-making


process because it is the concept of mentoring. Guiding people through tough situations, such as

their career path being unknown, will demonstrate the mentor caring for other individuals and

increasing their difficult challenges contributed to students’ growth (Payne, Bettman, Coupey, &

Johnson, 1992). Jonathan gave back to the community by landing a job at OU and being happy

with his outcome so far post-graduation. He listened to the words of the OU alum and

remembered those words until after he graduated which could in turn lead to Jonathan also being

a great mentor.

Limitations

One limitation of the present study is that it considers only a total of six semi-structured

interviews which is a clear indication that there could more data saturation to develop additional

themes and concepts related to memorable messages. Furthermore, while this study is useful in

understanding how memorable messages helped impact someone’s life and their decision-

making for the future, longitudinal and relational turning point studies could better capture how

mentoring relationships are built over time. Additionally, if the participants were asked to keep a

diary of their progress with their mentors, it could reveal their everyday communication and

more effectively look at how that memorable message was framed over the course of a year.

Further Research

Previous research has examined the implications of memorable messages through

computer mediated messages; however there is still little research within this field but it is being

explored more. Future research is needed to explore the effects computer mediated memorable

messages have on people and how it has helped them within their life would be another

important avenue of study. Additionally, a longitudinal study following individuals receiving

memorable messages on social media sites and their progress in life would be an area of interest


as well. The effects of social media on people receiving memorable messages would add further

insight into the decision-making process and self-assessment of someone’s life.

Additionally, this study brought up questions of possible connections between Control

Theory. Control Theory explains an individual’s attempt to recognize inconsistency or gap

between their current state, and to take action and motivate oneself to narrow down the gap

(Nazione, Laplante, Smith, Comacchione, & Stohl, 2006). Further research into how control

theory plays a role in memorable messages would be needed to expand this study.

Another expansion would be to look closer at how these memorable messages lead to an

individual’s job satisfaction. Even though in the present study, most of the participants have

successfully landed a job in their life, more emphasis on job satisfaction is necessary. There is

researcher suggesting how first-generation students lead a successful career but little research on

non first-generation.


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Memorable Messages InterviewDenise MillerNovember 9, 2015

M: Hey Denise, long time no see right? What was it like 2 weeks ago? Haha

D: Well hello miss Nowak, or should I say Professor Nowak?! When are you gonna be official?

M: Official as in an actual professor?

D: Well duh

M: Ehh, I’m not sure that’s gonna happen honestly

D: What?! Why?! You always said you’re gonna do it, what changed?

M: Well, I mean I would love to get it but it is super stressful and I am not even sure if this is

what I want to even do for the rest of my life. Well no, I love teaching, it’s great, it’s awesome.

But as far as going through PhD, I honestly have no idea. It is so hard and it is a lot of work and

I’m not sure if it’s even worth to go through all of that and the once you are done with getting a

PhD, that is if I do it, then I have to start searching for jobs and that is a whole other process and

it’s crazy. But anyway this isn’t about me, this is about you haha. So you ready?

D: Monica, you are so smart and on top of it beautiful and you will be successful with whatever

it is that you do, even if it isn’t a PhD.

M: Whoa whoa, you HAVE to say that because you won’t say anything bad haha. But it’s ok I

get it.

D: Well no, I mean it. You will do so great.

M: Alright you ready? Ohh I’m like a little nervous haha. I don’t know why.

D: Wait why are YOU nervous?

M: I don’t know. I just am. But ok, time to get serious. When you were asked to think about a

memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?


D: Well the first thing that comes to my mind is when I was ready to get ready to quit college

because I wanted to get married. And a professor of mine, an English professor, um, said to me,

quote on quote, what the hell do you think you are doing? You’re smart, you’re intelligent, why

would you want to be dependent on a another person for your finances, your way of living, when

you can be an independent woman and educated and therefore take care of yourself

M: And who was this person who said this to you?

D: She was my English professor at Oakland University and I can’t remember her name.

M: Do you still stay in contact with that professor?

D: No, but I do wish I did stay in contact with her. I really do because there has been times

where I think about her message and wish I could just talk to her and ask her for some more

advice other things that were happening to that statement, like oh my god, budgets, or something.

I really at that particular time in my life, did not how to budget. I mean I was a young college

student and of course I was perusing business, and we haven’t gotten to the accounting. So there

were times when she would always tell me, “no you’re wrong” and I never really understood

what she meant when she told me that, but I guess now I understand it.

M: Would you stay in contact with this professor if you had the chance? I’m not sure if she

retired or what?

D: Oh yeah I definitely would. At one point I wanted to contact her when I moved back to the

area, and she was already gone, I couldn’t even remember her name and oh my gosh if I did see

her I would probably know who it is but it’s almost like…someday I will come across her name

and that’s it, but it wasn’t some weird Polish name or something that’s for sure. Haha.

M: haha. Thanks Denise. So what was going on in your life at that time that made the message

relevant to you? Either in your personal life or whatever you wanna say.


D: Well a lot haha. I was ready to get ready to quit college because I wanted to get married. It

wasn’t relevant to me until probably twenty-two years later when I was going through a divorce

and realized that I didn’t have any marketable skills to support my wealth of my kids in college

or life, so that’s when it became really relevant. I was scared and that particular time in my life

and I was labeled as a displaced housewife. Not a divorced woman, but a displaced housewife. I

think that label was something that made me realize something. It made me open my eyes up and

angry and livid. I kept telling myself, no that’s not me and I am smart. I was a gymnastics coach

and an accountant for a doctor. I had all these responsibilities including cooking and cleaning as

well. Yes I had jobs. Oh I also was a waitress at the time. It wasn’t like I was a stay at home

mom. I was very active. But finally when it ended what was I suppose to do? That was when it

finally became relevant and the message of, what the hell are you doing? emerged in my life.

M: Alrighty. What was your opinion of the source of the message? In other words the person

who said it to you at the time, do you have your own opinion about this person? Did you think

she was crazy or what was going on in your head?

D: Oh yeah. I thought she was crazy for sure. When I was not married at the time, I remember

thinking, whatever you’re an old maid, you don’t know what you’re talking about, um, cause I

was only 18 years old, you’re an old maid, you never been in love, it was total immature thinking

on my part like oh my god, you don’t know anything and then years later I regretted those words,

oh my god you’re an old maid, because I did, you know and I did say those things. And that’s

how I felt at the time, like psh, you old woman, you don’t know anything. Just kind of like those

teenagers who think they know everything right now, sort of like that kind of thinking.

M: how did this message affect you? So did it have any impact on your actions or your attitude –

either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?


D: Yes, it did and I decided to go back to school after that.

M: Did you go back to Oakland or somewhere else?

D: No, no no. That particular time when I was getting a divorce, I have moved and this was with

my first husband, and I moved and then I went to business school in Colorado cause I lived in

Florida because I lived in there before I finally moved to California. And…I um… when I

moved to California to pursue accounting and income tax and so I had varies positions such as

office managers. I learned how to put business and things that I should have learned when I was

in school and I also learned medical billing or coding. Her message really inspired me to go back

to school and I was, I was 40, you know, and I was scared.

M: did you feel out of place?

D: Oh yeah. Like, oh yeah. My kids were in college at the time and here am I also in college at

40. And my oldest daughter was in college and I was 40. My youngest daughter was in high

school and it was like, helloooo what are you doing?! But it inspired me to not be that displaced

house wife and to say, what the hell are you doing?!

M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? Like is it something that you still think

about from time to time? Or is it something that you just don’t care about?

D: Yes. I have given this message to my girls, all three of them. And this is not a feminist

statement, this is just a personal statement but you don’t need a man for your financial support,

your mental support, your feel good support, I want you to be a strong independent woman…I

also tried to tell them to think about it with the what the hell are you doing message and to think

about your actions. As far as education, for me I was about life skills, you know what are you

going to do for the rest of your life. I at the time thought, oh I am going to be a housewife,

mother for the rest of my life and just be Betty Crocker and that is something these girls. It


always turns out so make sure that you always have a back-up plan. One of the best back up

plans is to educate yourself and you don’t have to depend on anyone. You don’t need a guy and

you don’t need that man to help you with that stuff. If you find a loving relationship, then that’s

the big leap you have to make. One of my girls took a leap and she is success with her life, and

the other one didn’t, like her mama, and now she is struggling and she is married and she wishes

she could go back and do it over again. I mean she is still married and she is happy but I wish she

just took her time before all the decisions she made.

M: What advice or memorable message would you give to someone other than your daughters?

D: Like you Monica? I would say to you because I do consider you part of my family, even

know you are off at Central now, and even though you’re not blood, um…you are…you really

are. You never give up and I don’t ever want you to say stuff like, I’m not good enough, even if

it’s the little-little stuff. I don’t ever want to hear you say, I’m not smart enough or I can’t do

this. You are very generous and fortune to have such a blessed family and they have shaped you

into a beautiful, young woman. Don’t ever give up and follow those dreams because it is

extremely important, so important to love what you do. So if you hear yourself saying, “what the

hell am I doing?” then you’re using your head and you know you’re turning your life around. I

hate to hear negative vibes from people who are so bright.

M: Was there someone who discouraged you or made you wanna quit?

D: Well I wanted my daughter to find out who she is on her own. Her husband at the time

wanted to get married quickly and have kids and do the whole support thing and all that good

stuff and my message to him is now, what the hell are YOU doing? I wish she discovered herself

on her own rather than just jumping so quickly into marriage and the only way to be educated is

to learn from yourself. Now, I am not saying you HAVE to go to college to be educated, but


what I am saying it is important to establish yourself as a person so that you know what you want

so that when you do meet someone it is a partnership and not have one that is dominating. I want

you to be able to be a partnership. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but it’s ok, that doesn’t mean it’s

the end of the world. Am I making any sense or am I just rambling?

M: yeah, yeah. You are.

D: Ok because I wasn’t sure and I don’t want to keep rambling on and on and not make any

sense.

M: Are you for or against sororities or frats and how does it apply to your memorable message?

D: I have girls. I do not like sororities, because my experience with them was that the sorority

sisters had to communicate and interact with other sororities or other groups of people and

everything had to be approved by the people and I am really against that. I really am. My girls

got approached by sorority girls but I did not approve it because they were very intelligent and I

did not want them to get brain washed by this lifestyle. Both of them came to me for advice and I

did reject this because I really should have had them make the decision on their own. I don’t

want to be that mom that told her daughters what they can or cannot do. I kind of reject that

because the whole point of college is to figure out who you are and to be yourself and to learn

about yourself and yet as a parent I took over that role. I had it set that they were going to do this

and this because I felt this certain way and I wanted them to live that certain way. That is not a

positive message to give to your daughters. I should have let them do what they wanted to do and

be a good mom and ask them, do you want to [do this]? You should really think about it and if

you’re on the fence than there is nothing wrong with that either. I should have allowed them to

do it or not do it and have them do that their decision.

M: Where you in a sorority or anything?


D: No, no I was never in one. I did pledge.

M: And how was that?

D: It was all the hazing experiences back then and uh, I can’t even remember the sorority, I can

see the numbers but I can’t see it, but anyway, I can remember talking to someone while I was a

pledge, and they would see me talking to other girls and they would say, no, no, no we do NOT

talk to those girls. THOSE people? Who are THOSE people? That happened to be a friend of

mine and she was not one of those people and from that day on I was totally against it. I just

didn’t really like it, and of course you had to understand that we were all different in the 70s.

And calling people those people is almost like calling them racist at the time. So it was totally a

different period protests and didn’t want to be part of the establishment, more in the eyes of most

college students and there you go.

M: Is there anything else that you would like to add? In general?

D: My memorable message I would give to someone is to just stop and take a breath and think

about what it is that you want to achieve because it is very very difficult once you are my age

and it is very hard because I never accomplished the things that I thought I might or dreams I had

when I was growing up because of my choices. Again, my second husband didn’t allow me to do

a lot of the things I wanted to do. I think he saw me as show piece or something. Of course I was

a lot skinnier back then but um that was my reject and you don’t wanna be my age and look back

at all this and then say, what the hell are you doing?


Memorable Messages InterviewDr. SrauyNovember 12. 2015

M: So basically my paper is about the most memorable messages that you have received in

college and how it has helped you in somewhat way in your life. So are we ready to get started?

S: Yes professor

M: Well well, let’s not get carried away that is YOUR title haha. Ok so when you were asked to

think about a memorable message from your college experience, what came to mind?

S: Academically?

M: It can be anything you want. It doesn’t have to be academically it can be anything that has

helped you in the long run.

S: Yeah. Yeah ok. That I should not worry about what the answer is but why?

M: Can you be little more specific?

S: like, I remember my boss after I got done with college, we worked on all these high tech stuff

and it was during the 1990s and, I remember trying to remember oodles and oodles of

information and tons of information. And you know what he told me? He said, don’t worry about

what to do, worry about why you are doing it. The perfect example would be, to figure out, so

back in the day I was trying to figure out dumb terminals to unix main frame and it was a serial

consentrator and I remember trying to troubleshoot, one time I remember trying to troubleshoot,

the connectors and they had these cables but they were not cables, but they were flat cables that

looked like telephone lines except they are more conductors inside of them and make them a

certain way and they would work right? And then finally I would ask myself, why is this not

working? And I was getting frustrated because I was doing exactly what it is I should be doing

and he told me I shouldn’t worry about what it is I am doing but why I am doing it. So it was like


why is it that you are expected to work and why is this working or not working a specific way?

SO the why would ask why this technology is to work. When I started to ask myself that and

asking myself questions about that, I remember realizing later, like instead of thinking about this

mythical cable to put two things together it was literally dumb terminal to a serial consentrator

that was not working to a box. But anywho, when I started to think that the cable is not a cable I

saw it as one process, I realized the cable is doing all sorts of kind of different things. I don’t

exactly remember what but you know I opened that black box and I found it very useful and this

message of why was really helpful when it came to undergraduate and graduate school and now.

M: How was it useful in graduate school?

S: You know like in undergrad you are taught kind of what the answers are? Well, in a very large

way we teach you to think critically about them but we have these sort of testing struggling that

kind of tests you what you are doing. So it is not that teachers didn’t teach us critically, we gage

that uncritical ways. I guess it depends on the class sizes as well. But in grad school it changes

right? Like the class sizes are much smaller, I don’t think I was ever in a class size when my

cohort was larger than 10 maybe. So I never had more than 10 people in my class. But anyway, it

gave you much of a closer opportunity to look at the material more and talk about it more. So

inside of looking at just the definition of feminism for example, or what is race, or what is

hegemony, but we learn what is hegemony and why it is important to be a feminist. So instead of

looking at just the definition f race, we are learned in grad school why it is a social construction

and who constructed I and all that stuff, those questions become more important and I think

that’s when you learn to do that, I hope I am making sense, but you then realize really are just

magic boxes that you can look into things even more closely.

M: You said that it was your boss who said this message right?


S: Mhm.

M: what was his name and from where?

S: John Silva. He has passed on. He owned a company called Complete Computive, it is a

technology consulting firm, with clients and medical clients, and it was basically a system before

all the IT fancy stuff came into place. Before all that came a big thing.

M: Let me look at my main questions here. What was going on in your life at that time that made

the message relevant to you? So something outside the work environment.

S: I don’t recall. Hmm, well I know. Memory is a funny thing because you don’t remember

events you just remember what you can remember about those events and now I wonder if it has

anything about y grandfather dying, and I bet you that’s what it was. My grandfather died

roughly around the same time and right around undergrad and I, when you have something like

that happen in your family, and happen to me, then it kind of shapes your grounding. It causes

you to start questioning things. And I wonder if asking the question why is something that

triggers that memorable message and stuff like that. I don’t really have an answer for that.

M: What is your opinion about this boss that you did have at the time? What did you think of

him as a person?

S: I adore him. I looked at him like another father or even an uncle. I was devastated when he

passed away. He died from pancreatic cancer I think it was and I think it was three years ago or

something like that. It was devastating and he was way too young. Cancer is a bastard.

M: Do you think this message, the why message is something you pass down to others?

Something you can pass down to either your students or even your daughter?


S: Oh absolutely. I’m always talking about the why to my undergrad and my grad students. I

don’t even know if you remember when I taught my television production class I always made

sure one time to talk about, beyond talking about what lens are or what light is, I wanted to do

more. In production you don’t really talk about the physicals aspects, but I did because it answers

the why questions. I want my students to know why this lens goes with this or why this lens is

better than that lens you know? Or I want them to know you know, why is it that um…why is it

you don’t necessarily need to by that expensive steady cam, when you can just make one

yourself and save a lot of money. Or what does it mean to make one and how do you do it? You

are improving a skill. Like using the steady cam example, you stick a camera on it and you can

stick it on your body and the camera is still. But when you make one there are pieces and a

counter balance on steady camera, there is a ball and a socket point that moves the gravity and it

depends on large muscles in your body. And that ball and socket on the steady cam needs and

needs your body and your muscle to go against that gravity to pull the thing steady. And those

are some of the things you need to learn, and when you know those things than that answers the

why question and you are learning about these things at the same time. You can do so much

more of cinematography and so much more.

M: Do you think this message was relevant right away or do you think it was kind of hit you later

in life?

S: The why question? Definitely later. I think it hit me a little bit right away on the job so I can

do the job. But I think in retrospect I wonder if my learning that why question back then was

something I felt like I needed to know for the job, but, it was certainly something that was later

and hit me much more critically when I started graduate school.


M: I think I have a couple more, maybe. I asked that one already. If you had a chance to start

over with the message in the back of your head what things would you do different and what

things would you do the same?

S: Start over life?

M: so if, this person said this to you, your boss, during that time, when you had this message

when you did these certain things. I don’t know how to word things. But you did these certain

things and your behaviors as you went on with life. So now that you have this message in your

head and rewind and do this all over again, would your attitudes and behaviors change? Or

would you still be the same or would anything change?

S: I think it would change. I think I would have lived life differently. I remember wanting to fit

in while growing up and being that I am a person of color, you do want to fit in you know? I

think, one point in time, if I could turn back time with the whole why message, I would have

loved that why question and why do I want to fit in so much…

M: Yeah…or why be different…?

S: Yeah…or…why is that normal and this is not normal? You know for example. I grew up in a

pretty conservative city in California, if you can believe there is a conservative city out there

right? Haha.

M: Yeah, what city are you talking about?

S: It’s Fresno. It’s the history of that in its central valley is people escape from the dust bowl and

so there is a lot of Oaklahomens over there and there is this unique central valley accent that

sounds like a southern accent, it is weird and all rodios and nascars and farms, and guns. It is

weird. And that is all over the area and I think the why, I would love to have asked some of those

assumptions and what is right what is wrong, what is moral what is immoral what is normal what


is not normal and know what is the correct behavior and what isn’t. I wanted to know all these

aspects and wanted to know the answers to so many questions that I didn’t know. I wish I asked

all these questions before and finally ask that why question and make different choices. I mean I

guess, you know, but like, I remember, being an absolute dick to this kid in high school. Like he

was gay and this was conservative Fresno so this was bas right? So I remember being so horrible

and harassing this kid and just over and over. And he never bothered me and never affected my

life but I made his life a living hell. A part of me was this just questioning that gay equals bad

you know? I think later on in life, in graduate school, it was already too late, and having all these

different life experiences, now I do not believe that and I think this is a function that I grew up in

and if I were to truly look at it I think it is ridiculous to think gay equals bad. I wish I learned that

why question sooner because I would have spared him so much torment and that is probably one

of my biggest regrets.

M: Anything you want to add?

S: Hmmm

M: actually before we get there, let me ask why do you think “why” the message, is important in

general? Or maybe what advice would you give to someone to pass, we already kind of talked

about that, but why is this why message just so huge indicator for not just your life but for

someone’s else’s life?

S: I think there are a lot of powerful hidden discourses, well discourses are naturally hidden, but

discourses that have power over us lies in the fact that they are hidden. If you ask the why

question you are confronting them and confronting there justice in a more profound way. I think

when we assume so much about each other, we assume so many things that are right, that we do

a whole lot of harm. It is sort of like that one line in Huckleberry Fin where I think it is like Jim


and Slay are traveling down the river and Jim says something like, just because you think

something is right doesn’t mean make it right. You know? That is such a profoundly, cool quote.

I think if you were to ask that why question, it would short cut into that same point. I just think

there is so much in this world that would benefit from people asking this why question a lot

more.

M: Okay I think that’s it. Thank you so much for doing this for me.

S: Cool. Let me know if you need anything else.


Memorable Messages InterviewKaylie November 15, 2015

M: Alrighty are you readdddyyyyy? Haha

K: yes. Yes I am haha.

M: Ok let me gather up everything real quick and then we can start. Ok, here we go. So when

you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience, what came

to mind?

K: Ok so this was during my sophomore year of college and I was taking COM 101 which is

funny cause I teach it now. It was during my sophomore year of college, and I took it my senior

year because I had extrely high speech anxiety and it was really difficult for me to get up and

speak infront of people and no one really believes me now because I am so social. I think it was

towards the end of the semester an dhe as entering my final grades and so I forgot to submit my

outline and so I wrote him an email and he wrote back to me and said, thanks Kaylie, you did an

awesome job in your speech and blah blah blah and you are a great speaker just relax and you

will be fine. And so that was a memorable moment and message during my time in college

because it was so difficult to get through that and the encourage that gave me that message was

really nice.

M: Do you recall the exact words of that message?

K: Yeah. I actually just pulled it up in my email and so he said, “Kaylie, you did a good job on

your speech and I understand your apprehension but you are a good speaker and you are well

liked by your classmates, just relax and it will be easier.” So that was it. So yeah that was the

exact message.

M: How did you feel when you got that message? Did you get emotional at all or anything?


K: No I didn’t cry or anything if that is what you are asking . But when I did see him again,

cause at that time I was an interior design major and I was having struggles, and this was my

second to last semester as an interior design major because I ended up switching and yeah, wait

what was the question?

M: How did you feel when you go this message?

K: Yeah, so it was nice. But it was still like yeah right, I am still afraid thanks though.

M: What was going on in your life at that time that made the message relevant to you?

K: I was an interior design major and even apart from that I had a lot of problem speaking in

front of people. My confidence was very low at the time. Getting this message helped me, well I

still didn’t believe it but it still planted the seed in my head, maybe you are good at this. And so

it was relevant because it kind of countered what I had thought of myself and it was just

encouragement. I like communication now and it’s awesome, I met you during the process and

everyone in the bullpen. I am getting off topic here. Honestly I would have preferred getting it in

email because, no offense to him, but he was dry and I feel his word wouldn’t mean anything in

person.

M: Did you talk to this instructor after when you received this message at all?

K: Yeah I did actually. When I changed my major my junior year I think he was either an adjunct

professor or a grad student. When I talked to him and when I saw him I was realy excited to see

him and so when I did see him I was kind of like, oh hey how are you? Guess what, I changed

my major to communication. I wasn’t a very good student and I kind of gave him a hard time in

class but when I did see him I did say, guess what? And he was like what? And I told him I

changed my major to communication. And he was like really? And I cant remember the exact

conversation but yeah I just really wanted him to know. I think that was it maybe, I don’t


remember but I don’t think I brought up the message he told me or anything. But um I did go

back and did communicate to him.

M: Was one of the reasons why you changed into a com major one of those reasons? Like the

message that is?

K: The main reason when I thought about, when I was in my sophomore year and I was in an

entrepreneurship class and my teacher asked me to imagine myself in five years and I when I

imagined it I could not see myself in interior design. You asked what this message prompted me

to change kind of right?

M: Yep

K: I think this is what promoted me, but when I thought about what else can I do, communication

was the only thing that I could think of in the back of my mind. I didn’t know it was the result of

that message because I am still terrified. But I am not sure if it directly correlated with that

message honestly.

M: What was the name of the professor?

K: Jay Brando. We just called him Jay.

M: What was your opinion of this instructor? Jay I should say?

K: I think he had a lot of behind the scene struggles um…just as far as…like you know you can

just tell if someone is struggling or something with something in their life? That kind of came

through I feel . I mean he was like, well his teaching style, I can’t remember. Well he had an

assistant and she was really cool and clashes with their teaching style. He was just really direct I

guess, I don’t know it was so long ago, like three years ago. I just couldn’t figure out if I liked

going to his class or not. I can just tell he had a lot of behind the scene struggles. He may have

had a problem drinking or smoking. I think drinking. So yeah that’s what I remember.


M: But this is still something you remembered from him when you gave your speech right?

K: Mhm.

M: Did this message effect you right away like were you like oh it hit me right now I should do

something about this message? Or did it effect you later on?

K: Well I think I started to see little when I would be speaking or presenting something. I wanted

to see if I could get past my nerves and if I can learn to channel them in a correct way then I

could be a good speaker. But I didn’t know how to do that. I always forget my questions when

you ask me.

M: If the message affected you right away or later in life?

K: I think…I don’t know. I feel like there were instances when it reinforced my instances from

other college’s professors. There were a couple times when I had to speak in front of church and

that helped me out a lot because I was able to project my nerves and energy and that kind of

reinforced the message but it wasn’t in the back of my mind. SO I don’t know. I really don’t

know. I remember it but I never constantly think about or anything. Before I had other

opportunity I never thought, Oh Jay said I was a good speaker so I will think about what Jay told

me. No that was never it. I always had that moment where it was like I am going to get past this.

But the message only came back to my head when I saw Jay in the hallway at school and that

was when it sparked and I remembered and it was like oh yeah I remember what he wrote on my

speech. So yeah, and that was when I said I ended up changing my major.

M: When did you say you saw him again?

K: Junior year? Yeah, junior year, so like a year later.

M: If you had a chance to start over with the message in the back of your head what things would

you do different and what things would you do the same?


K: Can you specify it a little more? Like what things would I do different in regards to…?

M: So like if you didn’t get this message from Jay and you presented whatever ti was that you

presented your speech on if you had to do it all over again would you do it differently?

K: so would I not be change the fact that I am still where I am today?

M: Yes.

K: I don’t think so. Because a lot of the factor where I am today and how I got here are different

than just that one message. Yes I like direct words and encouragement and it made me maybe

feel good for a second but at the same time I told you that I was questioning it and was saying

stuff like, “yeah right.” But a lot of the reason I am here is because of prayer and that is the most,

number one thing, that got me here. Yeah people’s words are this and that but the only reason

why I got through It was God and prayer to get me where I am. Yes, words are instrumental and

so nice to hear, but those words don’t change the fact on how I got to where I am. Does that

makes sense? And so I do think speaking is important and teaching kids about it. But I feel if I

still haven’t gotten that message from Jay, then I would still be on scholarship and be a grad

school because God helped me get to where I am suppose to be. Because you have to remember,

I got this message I got this at the very end of my semester and my very last speech and so when

I took my public speaking class in 357 my senior year, I had to take another elective, public

speaking was required and I was still nervous to speak. I still get nervous to speak. But it was…it

wasn’t a big of a struggle, it got little better. And now when I speak I think it just comes within

time and got punctual with it. Fear always has a way to creep up. I don’t necessarily think, if I

got this message that I wouldn’t be where I am, cause I do teach COM 101 now, so its like what?

So yeah.


M: Is this a message you think about once in a while or you just kind of blocked it out and don’t

really care for it?

K: I don’t think so. Sometimes I think about him and what he I doing. I think about the process

of how I got out of that fear. I wasn’t a good student in college and I didn’t have many

memorable messages, even when I changed my major and I told one of my professors what I am

doing now, she would say oh yeah you’d be really good at that. And those words also didn’t

mean much to me either. I forgot the message again.

M: If you think about it from time to time.

K: Nope. I think about the grace God has given me. I think about that MORE than the message

that was given to me.

M: So was it kind of a shock message?

K: Explain shock message.

M: What?

K: Sorry, explain shock message.

M: Hmm, were you surprised by the message from Jay?

K: So like a determining factor?

M: Yeah, exactly. That’s what I mean by shock message.

K: I mean yeah it was a part of my process but it wasn’t why I made it to this point in my

process.

M: Do you think this is a message, probably not, you will pass down to others?

K: Actually I would, and I do pass it down to other people. Well even now, I have a student in

my COM 101 class that is terrified of speaking in front of a class and this something I was most

excited about when I got the opportunity to teach. I mean I do not incorporate God’s grace in


there, cause I just can’t, because that is an inappropriate topic in the classroom and I may get in

trouble but although if someone asked me how I did it, then boom I would tell them. I

compliment my students both face-to-face and email. But yes I do pass it down a lot because you

might be nervous now but, the more you do it the more comfortable you are with it. I think I do

and I will continue to. People can’t see the end of the road but if they can see that you were there

before, then the message is really important.

M: Why should someone care about this message? Or why should your students care about this

message? Or maybe not even your students? Maybe just anyone?

K: This actual message? Or just the gist?

M: Yeah

K: There is something about calling out the potential in others to see. And um, as a person who

has been there and not being able to see their own potential I think it is important to see. Like I

said it’s not the reason why I am here, but it kind of planted a seed in the back of my mind that

someone else saw in me. So, I feel like it played a role in my life, but it’s not the soul reason why

I am here. Does that make sense?

M: Yes. What type of memorable message would you want a student to remember? I know it

depends on the student what would you give to them? Would it be similar to Jay or no?

K: I think it is subjective. I’m more drawn to the people that are scared of what I was scared of.

So people who are brave and have no problem public speaking, good for them. That’s awesome.

But for the rest of us, no, it is a real life issue. I would want them to remember this along the

same line. If they suck, they suck. If they have potential and I can see they are putting in effort,

then yes.

M:Is there anything you would like to add?


K: No… haha.

M: Nothing at all? Come on.

K: Grace. That’s what got me here, it really did.


Memorable Messages Interview HubertNovember 15, 2015

M: How are you doing my friend?

H: I’m doing great, thanks for asking. Let me just start off by saying, wow, you honestly get

prettier every time I see you. I feel like my eyeballs will melt if a look at you for too long. How

about we get started because I’m not sure how long I can last in the presence of such a divine

goddess.

M: You’re such a loser sometimes, but thank you. So let’s get this rolling. When you were asked

to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience, what came to mind?

H: I’ve had a lot of good messages over the years from professors, but there’s definitely one that

stands out above all the rest. It’s a moment that I forever cherish because the impact it had on me

was monumental at a time when I was still figuring out my priorities and how far I was willing to

go to pursue my craft. I remember it so vividly, I was nineteen years old and finishing up a

creative writing course. At the same time, I was writing my third novel and putting the final

touches to my second. The professor of the creative writing course was Marie Masters and we

developed a rather close bond over the course of the class. She confided with me that she was

writing her own novel, an autobiography detailing life after divorce, and she wanted me to be

one of the first people to read it and give her my opinion. Well, the time came and she handed

me her book and written on the inseam was the message that came into mind when you asked me

your question. It was a very profound message coming from someone whom I deemed to be my

mentor and who I respected immeasurably. Six words confirmed that I was doing what I needed

to be doing with my life and that I should pursue my goals and dreams until the end. The


moment was valuable to me because it created a solid pillar of foundation in my life at a time

when I was flailing to get a grasp of my bearings.

M: Do recall the exact words of the message? What were they?

H: Yes, I remember the words clearly, “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” It was a

surreal moment for me when I read those words written on the inseam of her book. I mean, this

was a woman I’ve gotten to know very well and who was a phenomenal writer in her own

regard. She’s been perfecting her craft for many more years than I’ve even been writing, and for

her to write something like that down, it was just, it was worth more to me than words can

express.


H: Well, I was young, passionate and ambitious. I started writing seriously about two years prior

and I felt that I was able to do it well, even at a relatively young age. When I received this

message, I was drowning in numerous ideas, had my eyes set on impossible dreams and had this

sort of uncertainty about how seriously I should pursue my endeavors. I’ve always had to do my

writing alone and it was difficult to find readers who would help me progress by critiquing my

work. I was at a pretty clear crossroads between passion and demoralization. Yes, I was writing a

lot and I was finishing novel after novel, but I was lacking support and that caused unbelievable

doubts to blossom. My parents can’t read English, my friends didn’t seem all that interested, I

did feel like I was absolutely alone and this message came at a very precarious moment for me. It

absolutely convinced me that the work I was putting forth was not in vain and that I did have

some talent with writing and that talent was noticed by someone I respected and admired. It was


a vein of support from a person I held in high regard and it was enough to convince me to pursue

my goals almost feverishly.

M: What was your opinion of the source of the message?

H: My opinion of Marie Masters? I mean, she was and still currently is my mentor. She’s a

phenomenal writer and she just gets it. She understands the difficulty involved with writing on

this level. Hundreds of thousands of words, months of writing, months of research, months of

edits, the self-criticism that your work is never as good as it can be and will never be as good as

it could be. She understood all of it and yet, she taught her creative writing course with so many

different and creative approaches that she made it truly fun and educational for everyone

attending her course. Marie Masters originally was in the advertisement industry and she set a

personal goal for herself that in one year, if she made six figures, she would leave advertising

behind and she would pursue her actual passion of creative and novel writing. Well, she reached

her goal of a six figure salary in one year and then left a lucrative job behind so that she could

focus on her novels and teaching creative writing. When she told me this story, it was pretty

inspirational because it showed that she had a burning desire that won out in the end. She never

regretted her decision to switch from advertising to creative writing, and only ever wished she

would have done it sooner. The same time she gave me the book and message, she told me that I

was lucky I was so dead set on writing at such a young age because it gave me an advantage over

other people who believe they can buy the freedom to pursue it later on in life. I hold a deep well

of respect for Marie Masters and I don’t ever see that changing.

M: How did the message affect you? In other words, did it have any impact on your actions or

your attitude – either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?


H: The message had a tremendous impact on me. This was a professor, pursuing her own dreams

of publishing a novel, giving me a message that made me feel like my success and pursuit of the

craft inspired her to really go for it as well. I was originally pursuing a business degree, but after

having Marie Masters and her creative writing course, plus receiving such an awesome message

from a person I admired, I changed my major from business to English and have never looked

back. Doubts that used to exist no longer exist anymore. I’m confident I’m pursuing the correct

course with my life and the message I received helped me realize that my dreams weren’t

impossible. In fact, they never felt more possible. If anything, my dreams have grown

exponentially since that one faithful day. Where I may have been timid before about saying I

want to be an author, I’m absolutely confident now when I say I want to be one of the greats.

There’s no longer any doubt in my mind, only the thrill of a conquerable challenge. That’s

probably the flipside of the message she gave me; the confidence to pursue my goals because

anything I can imagine can, in fact, become reality. I think you can tell from my words the sort

of impact her message had on my attitude. I went from being ambitious and unsure, to being

confident and ambitious.



H: Honestly, the message wouldn’t carry the same meaning if I was told it when I was first

starting out. I started writing when I was seventeen years old because my last high school

football season was over and I had an excess of energy that cultivated into insomnia and

prevented me from getting any sleep at all. I became a walking zombie. Writing allowed me to

exhaust some of that excess energy in the form of words and ideas. It was a small spark that set

off an inferno within me. I spent hours every single day learning and writing, doing research,


reading the greats, honing the craft so that I can bring all the ideas in my head to life with the

respect and detail they deserved. My inability to sleep transformed into an insatiable obsession

with writing. I was filled with raw passion and limitless ambition; the words and ideas couldn’t

come fast enough. I was young and unrefined, but I kept pushing myself to get better and better

every single day. I saw the results within my writing and that just kept the drive going even

further. The message from Marie Masters came to me after two long years of tireless effort. It

came at such a perfect time too. When I was beginning to doubt myself, when the ecstasy of

creating and crafting was beginning to die down and I began to view writing as work, split into

equal parts time, effort and research. In those two years I developed my writing strategies, I

taught myself how to bring thoughts in my head to life as words on a page. When Marie Masters

gave me her message, it was confirmation that the long nights of work really did pay off and I

still had so much more I could achieve. So, to answer your question, I wouldn’t want things to be

any different. The message would have no meaning to me if she had told me in the beginning

when I was just starting out. Two years later though, after I had progressed and grown on my

own, I really felt like I earned those words. The way it happened was the right way, I wouldn’t

trade it for anything.

M: Has this message continued to resonate with you?

H: Yes, the message definitely resonates with me to this day. It’s going to be something I think

about on my deathbed when I’m reflecting upon my life. The message stands as a solid pillar

among the chaos of passion and doubt I was feeling at the time. It’s one of those things that’s

forever ingrained in your memories. I’m lucky enough to have a physical copy of it written

inside her novel. I promise you, that book with that message sits on the same shelf as all my first

edition novels. I’ve never really had trouble with writer’s block thanks to the writing strategies I


developed when I was younger, but whenever I pursue a new endeavor, I always take a look at

her novel and the message inscribed on its pages. Just recently I constructed a poetry collection

for the New Yorker. It was my first time really writing poetry so I had some doubts to the quality

of my work. I mean, I did all the research I needed to do and I received several favorable reviews

from close friends, but the doubt was still there. I actually hadn’t thought about the message for a

while until I was pacing around the room, cursing my own name to the winds because I was

frustrated that my work wasn’t good enough to approach a journal as prestigious as the New

Yorker. My eyes happened upon her novel though, I pulled it off the shelf and smiled when my

eyes ran across that message. It was just a simple reminder. I have what it takes to do all things. I

no longer have reservations about my writing whether it be fantasy, poetry, romance or any new

idea that begs for my attention. Her words just serve as a constant source of inspiration when my

ideas and emotion alone aren’t enough. That message means so much to me considering how I

received it, when I received it and from whom I received it. It’s what drives me to continue

becoming a better writer every single day.

M: Is this a message you think you will pass down to others? Why or why not?

H: Part of the reason why I write is to create new and exciting worlds. Another part is to craft

sentences and stories that have never been heard before. All of the accumulates to one thing and

that’s to make an impact upon our world. I want my writing to inspire other writers. I want my

sentences to run through their veins and be fuel for their own passions. I’ve daydreamed often of

a scenario where I’m sitting in my office, in front of a cluttered and scribbled upon desk, looking

at the astounding work of a young, talented writer lucky enough to call himself or herself my

student. I would want to give them the same message I received. They would have to earn it,

that’s for sure, but if I ever do have students like this, ones that have an insatiable drive and


curiosity, I would love to impart the same message I received. It might seem silly, but it’s pretty

important to me. The harder I work now, the more success I have during the course of my

lifetime, the more that message would mean to a young student. If I become a great author, I

mean truly great, I feel like bestowing a young writer with that same exact message would really

pan out well. It would show them that despite who I am and how much I’ve accomplished; I see

something in their work. Something acknowledgeable. I would only hope that if I ever do get the

chance to give this message to another, it would have the same incredible impact on them as it

did on me.

M: Why should someone care about this message?

H: People should definitely care about this message because it’s praise of the highest sort.

Sometimes the student becomes the teacher. Those six words coming from a teacher

acknowledge that the teacher sees something in the student, something that shouldn’t be ignored.

The teacher is telling the student, “I see that you exist and I see something great existing within

you.” I just feel like there aren’t many words that compare to that coming from a teacher to a

student. It’s like the teacher is telling the student they are equals. Any praise from an authority

figure is generally appreciated very well, but to be told that you are equal with a person you

respect and admire? It really doesn’t get much better than that.

M: Anything else you want to add?

H: Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I just wanted to mention the before and after in regards

to me receiving the message. Getting into the creative writing course was an experience all in

itself. The course wasn’t recommended for freshman. There was actually a prerequisite

requirement which needed to be fulfilled before a student could take the creative writing course.


Two lower level English courses needed to be completed in the first and second semesters of

freshman year in order for a student to be able to take the course during their sophomore year. I

ended up completing the English prerequisite for the first semester, but it was just too easy. Mind

you, I was already writing books and creating worlds at the time. Something about writing five

paragraph essays about a selected topic just wasn’t doing anything for me. I was bored out of my

mind and never felt challenged. I found the creative writing course when I was applying for

classes for my second semester and was a little bummed out about the two class prerequisite rule.

I decided to contact the administrative office who, in turn, contacted Marie Masters and they told

her I was a prospective freshman looking for early admission into her course. Several hours after

I let them know my request, I received a rather ominous phone call, “You have twenty-four

hours. Write a three-hundred-word essay on the following topic: A world without reading or

writing. Send it to the following e-mail.” It was very strange, but I viewed it as a creative

challenge so I started working on my little essay. I really wanted to get into this course so I took

a little bit of a gamble with how I was going to write the essay. A world without reading or

writing; my first thought was that it would be a primitive world filled with people incapable of

communicating with each other. That was too easy and too obvious though. I decided to take an

unorthodox approach and envisioned a futuristic world instead where reading and writing

weren’t needed because the denizens had devised a unique social media program that worked on

the basis of thought. I still remember my little catchphrase for the social media network; if a

picture is worth one thousand words and a video is worth one thousand pictures, then an emotion

is worth one thousand videos. The social network allowed people to communicate with each

other on the principle of sending what they were feeling at any given time to those around them,


making reading and writing unnecessary. Marie Masters loved the twist and accepted me into her

course. I was the only freshman ever to take it.

After receiving the message and her novel, I’ve always kept in touch with Marie Masters. I truly

consider her my mentor and am still inspired by her. Her story is a great one and it just makes me

happy knowing she found success with her novel. I recently got in touch with her a couple weeks

ago because I wanted her to critique my poetry collection that I was going to send to the New

Yorker. We exchanged a few e-mails, I sent her my work and then I waited. About a month later,

she calls me up and tells me to meet her in her office. I arrive and she hands me the poems with

little notes scribbled on the pages. We just sat there for hours talking about the places she’s

traveled to, the work we’re currently writing, talking about the different nuances between writing

styles and what goes into truly great writing. She also confided with me that she was working on

her second novel. The first one was more of an autobiography while this new one is supposed to

be a fictional work. I saw how happy and excited she was to be working on a fun and creative

personal project. Then, true to the message she wrote me years prior, she asked me if I would

read the manuscript over winter break and critique her work. She already had two female readers

critique it, but she wanted a man’s viewpoint of the story and plot. I’ll be honest with you, it’s an

absolute honor for me. It’s almost unreal; my mentor is asking for my assistance and honest

critique of her work. I don’t know, it’s just, I really feel like we have this mutual respect for one

another. She’s very private with her work so for her to trust me with it and trust my opinion if it,

I appreciate it more than I can say. Plus, she’s more than aware how anal I am about detail and

making sure there aren’t any plot holes in the story. She’s a talented writer and I’m excited to

read her newest creation. I really get the feel that she views me as a fellow writer rather than just


a pestering former student. “Sometimes the student becomes the teacher.” I really feel like she’s

living up to the message she gave me, which just makes it all the more special.

M: Wow. That was really good actually. No wonder you’re an author.

H: Haha. Anything for you Monica.


Memorable MessagesDr. AlmodovarNovember 18, 2015

M: When you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college experience,

what came to mind?

A: Hmm, well, when I was a first year student I met Dr. Aniela Gonzalas, she was a PhD student

and she was a very experience woman, older woman, in working in intense research for

radiology for many years in New York city. Um…she inspired me to be a researcher but she also

was there for me and I loved her outlook on life. She was a very well rounded person. Who

thought we could all achieve something with our education but also she remembers that we are

persons, individuals who also make mistakes and need to grow not only education wise but also

in our everyday lives and the choices we make.

M: Do you recall the exact message of those words?

A: That she told me?

M: Yes, what she told you.

A: Well, she told me that I was young and I still didn’t know much but she corrected me to study

hard and to continue to peruse my dreams but to also nourish my soul and not forget to continue

working on relationships with my coworkers and co students – never to be pretentious or

anything like that but to always carry a good relationship with other people in my life because

life is short.



A: I was a first year student. I was new in college and I didn’t have any idea what was going on

haha. But she (Dr. Gonzalas) direct my efforts to medical school because she accepted me into

her lab which was an accomplishment for first year students, very seldom you have opportunity

for someone to invite you to work in her lab and I guess she just loved me so much I guess that I

was invited haha. Well I did work hard and it was a challenging process but the words that she

used inspired me to do my best and never to give up on my dreams.

M: From what university is this professor from?

A: University of Puerto Rico. Being able to work in her research lab was just an amazing

opportunity for me. I was smiling on the inside and on the outside.

M: Ok. And what was your opinion of the source of the messages? So, the opinion of the person

who said it to you at the time? What did you think about this person? How else were they an

impact in your life?

A: Oh Dr. Gonzalas? Oh wow she was a wonderful woman, just wonderful. She was bright, but

she was also, well by her age she was almost in her 70s…so she was an older woman but I can

always invision ho hard it was for her to obtain a PhD as a woman and to get so far with her

career and to a university in the states. She is great at what she does as a researcher and as a

scientist and I wanted to be in her shoes one day. I wanted to be a Dr. Gonzalas. She was the

absolute example of what it is to be strong, determined tough woman. She would show that in

her daily behavior and would not take anything from nobody. She would be extremely assertive

with her students and with colleagues.


your attitude – either immediately or late on? If so, what impact did it have?


A: Oh wow because of her message it has been attached to me my entire life. So to answer your

question, this message was carried around with me immediately and to this day. She would

always stick to her goal and nothing would stop her from doing what it is she loves to do. When

someone has that much passion, it will motivate me to get that passion as well. And of course

there has been times when she would not achieve what she wanted immediately either, and a lot

of research disappointments, but she would use that as an experience to learn and grow and get

better and eventually achieve her end goal, which was to continue investigating and researching

and all those outbreaks.

M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? Is it something that you still think about

from time to time? Why or why not?

A: Oh certainly. For such a long time I wanted to be just like her. I did try as a researcher but it

was extremely hard to be a doctor, so when I finished my fellowship I became a doctor and I was

already a gastroenterologist so there was a lot going on. But when I was doing my research at the

University of Alabama, I was so sheltered because my boss at the time had a lot of money to go

out and do the research and so I didn’t have to go out and find that money, it was like it was

handed to me, which was extremely nice. I never had to worry about writing a grant or find

someone to sponsor. I worked because my boss had all the funds needed. And she had everyone

work under her supervision. But once you are out of your fellowship, if you are interested in

doing research still, you have to find your own money and this was in the late 80s and early 90s,

and it as very difficult to find money from the NIH and all those other outlets and other

organizations to grant you money for reach – it was very very difficult at that time, especially if

you didn’t have your name out there and if you were a nobody right? You are just getting started

and nobody knows your name. For those that were already established, it was easier for them to


obtain research money to continue their work. So when I was working unfortunately somebody

“on paper” appeared to be like Dr. Gonzalas and this was a man that obtained his professorship

when he was 40. And at the time when I started to work for him I thought, oh my God this man

is a star, to accomplish and retain that at age 40 was just unbelievable and such an

accomplishment. It is something that is so difficult to accomplish me, and he did it and it was

just like, wow. However, the downfall was he did not appear who he was “on paper” and was a

huge disappointment. So it’s important to look at those things as well. Someone may have all

qualities on paper but not in person.

M: What experience, advice, and memorable message in your college life did you pass down to

your kids?

A: Oh definitely to work hard, never expect anything to just fall from the sky, and to be humble.

I guess that is three messages but they all fit into just one message for me. I want my kids to be

humble about their gifts and to never rub your talents to other students. That’s not a wise thing to

do. You should be really humble and quiet about your gifts, don’t advertise your gifts. But of

course if someone asks for your help, then they should be happy to help them but they shouldn’t

rub it in and say how amazing you are, right? So that’s what I wanted my kids to do.

M: Was there someone that maybe discouraged your child and made them want to quit? And

how did that relate to the memorable message you gave them?

A: Well…

M: And maybe if you want to add what was your role as a parent in this situation? What did you

say? What did you do to help your child?

A: If someone encouraged my child to quit?


M: Yeah. So if they are really good at something, maybe they wanted to be a news anchor and

there is that one person that tells them not to be a news anchor. What message would you give to

them? Or what advice would you give them?

A: Well to my knowledge, my two older boys, Christopher and Gregory, they were never

bullied. They were not the most popular individuals in school because they were very geeky and

nerdy and they were not cool, but they still had a way to fit in. They cared because to them at the

time was to get great grades to get into college and have a scholarship. They worked very hard

which is the message I have been telling them that was passed down from Dr. Gonzalas that I

could now use on them. With my other younger son, Jonathon, I learned later and noticed that he

was definitely not the popular child in high school and that probably explains why he was

strongly so much. I am not sure if he has a lot of pressure from trying to fit in so badly and be

popular and also I am pretty sure that effected his performance in school and he was just very

distracted and he would not dedicate himself to anything. He would just start them and then drop

them right away. But it didn’t matter because I would still tell him to do his best no matter what

someone else may say to him, and to concentrate on whatever it is that the teacher wanted from

him in his classes. But his first couple of years in high school were very hard for him. I think it

might have been a maturity problem as well. He was very immature and I guess seeing his twin

brothers do so well and having an advantage – always having each other side by side and they

could lean on each other all the time if they needed help. Jonathon had very close friends, but I

think he resented in a way not having a twin cause he saw how, quote on quote, easy, it was for

his two twin brothers.

M: So if that was high school, what happened in college? Were they in a fraternity?

A: Oh yes, all of them were.


M: Were you ok with that? Did you think that maybe it would distract them from their studies if

they were in a frat?

A: I am all about fraternity and even sororities. I think initially when my boys joined the

fraternity I was little skeptical but of course young men and women are going to party and it

doesn’t matter if you are in a sorority or a fraternity, they are going to party. The way I look at it

is, Greek life offers so many opportunities to young and men and women to share and network.

And the opportunity to do philanthropy and to do projects for the community, even fundraising,

and especially for the girls are much more better and doing this than the boys when it comes to

raising money and all that and giving back to the community services. But I also understand that

because they are under the supervision of chapter of the fraternity. They also have to comply to

rules in the house so therefore they have to follow certain rules or they will lose the house. And

the result of that they could lose the house. If they break any of the rules then someone will say

something to them that they can’t do this, and you can’t do that here because you are going to

take the house away and I don’t want to get my house away. Like Christopher and Gregory they

loved their house and about 15 years ago there was a house that almost was dissolved but no one

wants to talk about it so it is a huge mystery but they don’t want to lose their house for whatever

reason it may be so they have to work hard to be in this house. It takes a lot of time to get that

house back and save it. And as a result of that story they were very careful with not partying a lot

and taking care of the house and following the rules and not doing stupid things and dangerous

things, especially things that could danger someone’s life. It was a great experience for them and

I am happy that they were in the frat. Oh and even now that they are gone and graduated and

have jobs on their own, they still have opportunity to return back to the house and enjoy the little

reunions that they have. The young adults that are all working now, call each other and contact


each other social media and say, hey let’s get together here, here, and here and this and that time

and boom they make it happen. It really facilitates them to continue friendships, especially when

they are so far away from each other and working. It is a really good thing.

M: You mentioned that you thought it was skeptical AT FIRST, why would you think that at

first?

A: Because it has so much bad presence and what you see on TV and karma and movies that you

see all the crazy stuff that happens. There’s this one movie that does it, ugh, I can’t think the

name of it, you know what I’m talking about?

M: No…

A: You’ve seen it, it’s for kids that are in your generation. Ugh, I can’t think the name of it,

Animal House or something? No, that’s not it. Well anyway, it was a classic. There are just so

many bad stories about frats and the sororities and then there are things we hear on the news

when they destroy properties and they students are suspended. But those are exceptional

situations. I could never see any of the boys at the frat that my boys are in doing anything like

that. They are such great boys all of them, I have met almost all the ones that are in the frat and

the parents and they are all well-rounded individuals. Like I said earlier, they are all going to

party, both sororities and the fraternities, but that’s normal. I rather have them party now and get

it all out of their system then when they are in their 30s-40s and trying to party with the younger

generation because the missed out on that fun while in college. They also offer support to the

members. For instance, when Gregory and Christopher were telling me how they had to study

the history of the fraternity house and taking tests in order for them to become members and had

to go through this specific process. No one can just walk in there and be like; yup I want to join

this fraternity, so take me. It was not like that, they had to be selected and go through the process


of enrichment and show they are worthy candidates. They have to be selected to be a brother for

the fraternity. But I also like how they could all use the strength of each other, so if somebody

needed tutorship in a class then instead of going out and getting a tutor they would help each

other out in that particular subject and that person would help you study.

M: Do you think your opinion would change if you had daughters?

A: No, no. I think girls are the same. The sorority houses are well kept and they have even more

strict criteria. You cannot party as much as boys in there. They have a house mother and I guess

that house mother is very strict. You cannot sneak boys in late at night, and if you do then you

can be in big big trouble. Some of the girls can be crafty girls and sneak them in but I don’t think

it is as easy because they have a house mother. I mean gentleman can come and visit but they

cannot take them to the bedroom. I don’t have a problem with sorority girls at all. The only

problem I have with some sororities, I don’t remember the exact name of it, but the boys always

called it: Visa Visa Mastercard. Because, these girls, I think it was Kappa Kappa something,

were all for money. And if you were not a rich boy or had a family name or had a silver spoon in

their mouth, they were not interested and didn’t want anything to do with the boys. Now that is

an organization that I will always be against.

M: Is there anything else that you would like to add at all? Whether it be about memorable

message or whatever is on your mind?

A: about… college?

M: Your memorable message or the message that you passed down.

A: I keep telling them still to be humble, to work hard, and to keep improving themselves and to

be complacent. And to not only continue working harder and everyone else around them but to

be responsible and have pride in their work and continue learning. Because we are completely


lost if we do not continue learning. Hopefully they will receive a masters one day, they want to

work right now for a few more years still and then hopefully go back to school but evidently they

say they want to go back, it isn’t me telling or forcing them to go back. They like to learn and

they like to be educated and I am so happy that that’s what they want. Also, I can’t express how

much I love being a mom. I have advanced in my career and got my dream come true to be a

doctor, but it is nothing compared to being a mother. I love being a mom. I love to educate my

kids and I would give up being a doctor to be a full-time stay at home mom. It is a great

experience and one day Monica, you will have that experience as well. I have learned a lot

through that message and I am proud to pass it down to my kids.

M: Ok. then that’s it. Thank you so much for doing this with me it really means a lot.

A: I hope you get an A.

M: Well I am going to hope and work hard, just like your memorable message but the final

outcome isn’t up to me, it is up to my professor. But fingers crossed haha.


Memorable MessagesJonathan November 25, 2015

M: So my paper is basically about the most “memorable message” you received during your

college life. It is NOT an experience; it is a message/advice someone has given you. So you

ready?

J: Sure, can I get an overview of the questions first?

M: Sure, sure. These are it.

J: Alright. I’m ready.

M: Alright. When you were asked to think about a “memorable message” from your college

experience, what came to mind?

J: Well, the first thing that came to my mind was the commencement speech made by a fellow

OU alum named Charlie Lapastora. Charlie had just received the “Meritorious Achievement

Award” and had been given the chance to speak at the 2014 Spring Commencement. Honestly,

the message wasn’t just for me though, it was for the whole student body. However, his words

really spoke to me that day, as both a student and a person.

M: Do recall the exact words of the message? What were they?

J: I don’t recall the exact words of the message since it was quite a lengthy speech; however, I

remember the meaning behind it well. He was basically encouraging the entire graduating class

to look beyond just achieving a good career or steady income, and to do something for those

within our OU community. He inspired me with his words about going overseas and helping

those less fortunate than him, as well as his passion for his family and friends who supported him

all the way.



J: I had just finished my junior year of undergrad, and like Charlie, I was contemplating my

future after graduation. So when he revealed that he was just as clueless about what he wanted to

do with the rest of his life, I was slightly comforted by his words. However, what he said

afterwards about doing more than just getting a steady job spoke to me, because there is a lot

more to life than just achieving wealth. Our community and the people that we surround

ourselves with should always come first.

M: What was your opinion of the source of the messages? So like the person who said it to you

at the time?

J: I have nothing but respect for Charlie. We may have only had one class together, but I

remember his friendly personality well. He was a Communications major, just like me, and had

achieved a lot throughout his four years at OU. Also, his faith and dedication to his own family

had really inspired me as well, because I feel the same way, and seeing that in someone else at

OU made me respect him even more.


your attitude – either immediately or later on? If so, what impact did it have?

J: I feel as if his message really impacted me later on in my senior year at Oakland University

because I was still a junior at the time, while he was on his way to graduating. However, as I was

approaching my own graduation, I had often thought about how I could give back to the OU

community. Then, a few weeks after I received my degree, I’d heard that OU’s Horizon League

was in need of camera operators and video production specialists. These were two areas of

interest that I had studied at Oakland University, so I figured this was the perfect way I could

give back to the school which had already given so much to me.




J: I don’t know if I’d really do anything different or the same to be honest. The message had sort

of come to me at the perfect time in my own life, which was before graduation and while I was

already studying and learning the thing that I loved doing.

M: Has this message continued to resonate with you? (in other words, is it something that you

still think about from time to time?) Why or why not?

J: I still think about it sometimes, especially while I’m working for OU’s Horizon League. It’s

what motivates me and keeps me focused on what I’m doing. Plus, I’ve spoken to Charlie since

then, and since he’s been such a huge source of inspiration for me, I usually think about it after

our talks too.

M: Is this a message you think you will pass down to others? Why or why not?

J: To be honest, I already have, especially with the students at OU’s Video Services. I always try

to remind them that there is so much more that they can do with their own talents for the OU

community. Rather than just use it on assignments in class or at home, I try to remind and

encourage them that their skills have actual real world applications.

M: Why should someone care about this message?

J: As I said before, there’s a lot more to life than just a fancy house or corporate career. The

people whom we associate with or consider close to us should be our priority before anything

else. Plus, we should always be willing to give back to the community in which we were raised.

J: Anything else you want to add?

M: Sure, if you’re interested in hearing speech for yourself, I think it’s on YouTube somewhere

if that helps you.

Documents

Memorable Messages FINAL