mintyfresh Monday
mintyfresh Monday

mintyfresh Monday

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Text of mintyfresh Monday

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    One fresher woke up this morn-ing in unfamiliar surroundings. To his intense horror he nearly found himself breakfast for what he thought was a particularly ravenous rabbit. He briefly con-templated how embarrassing, and yet still curiously painful, departing this world at the paws of a fluffy rodent would be, he realised that he was only view-ing a vision or spirit, perhaps summoned forth from the void by Druids seeking to impart all of natures mighty wisdom.Several Quantock freshers were seized by a compulsion to climb. Instead of finding shelter in the breezeblock walls of their new homes, they took to the trees. Unfortunately not all of our would-be apes were as agile as they might have wished. One fell to the ground in an unsteady dismount from the towering Westwood treeline. Obliging housemates were on hand to

    catch them. A fresher from Quarry was not so ungainly in her dismount from a hastily constructed hu-man pyramid. While at first she seemed to be heading for di-saster she showed tremendous agility in her reaction, dropping herself into the arms and mouth of an obliging gentleman nearby who we are sure was only look-ing out for her wellbeing.mintyfresh has heard rumours of a wild bearman tearing round Solsbury kitchens late into the night. The majestic beast has a tendency for sitting proudly at the head of the table revel-ling in his own company in the darkness. Whatever the truth is, someone has a ridiculous fancy dress budget. If you are one of the lucky hunters to spot the grizzly guy, do let us know. Our reporters were lucky enough to meet a mathematician unlike any other. When asked what

    she would do if she won a mil-lion pounds, she immediately replied: buy another million pounds. Whilst our, no doubt, inadequate brainsacks couldnt comprehend her logic she as-sured us it was the only sensible way to deal with such a windfall.The queue into the evening event appeared to be attracting further numbers by bellowing various songs that were un-charitably described as chants by a few philistines. Here in the mintyfresh Towers we recog-nised them for what they were group devised mating calls. Allowing your peers the chance to involve themselves in this once in a lifetime mass-rutting is not only courteous, it serves the purposes of evolution admi-rably. No doubt, fresher biolo-gists were conducting an inves-tigation into the phenomenon, at least by acting as the control group.

    mintyfreshhighlights

    Natural phenomenon

    Issue 2 Tuesday 25th September 2012 Call us - 01225386151

    More pictures

    Event Highlight

    Q & A

    Wildest rumour

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    The giant conga line which snaked through the Sports Hall, was so large we were first alerted to it by NASA. Reports suggest that SU President Chris Clements was held up in this monstruous man snake and was therefore un-able to return to the SU.

    Which historical figure would you fight and why?Winston Churchill, I would fight him on the beaches old fashioned style with fisticuffs.

    Sandy Pugilist from Solsbury

    Someones vigilante alter-ego was brought out after drinking. His first sip of alcohol prompted him to quote Batman for the rest of the evening while lying on the floor.

  • Fresher of the night

    Fuck the weather

    Directory Dude from City.This enterprising fresher decided that he would go around campus collecting numbers and names. Men, women, crew - he took any-ones details.What mintyfresh particu-larly liked about this one man

    mission to gather all this in-formation was his commit-ment to the gathering of new information. This makes him a fine candidate for Student Media, as are the rest of you. We are really not that picky.Incidentally, fuck the data protection act.

    The Vice Chancellors speech was an event that compelled throngs of freshers to throw off the yokes of their hangovers to listen attentively to our glorious leaders address. While most students felt suitably roused,

    four young anarchists felt a vis-ceral reaction to her authority and proceeded to vomit. Some appeasers have suggested that this co-ordinated display of technicolour protest was a re-sult of excessive drunkenness

    the night before. mintyfresh is disgusted that anyone would deny such a dedicated display of political activism. This gen-eration needs all the non-apa-thetic members it can take.Campus Challenge was, sadly, possibly indefinitely postponed this year. The Weather Gods de-cided that the challenge wasnt great enough for such a bumper crop of freshers so added gal-lon after gallon of freezing cold rain. Unfortunately, when the Campus Challenge was being devised, neither hypothermia nor dampness were included in the criteria so, in the interests of your continued enjoyment of Freshers Week (and any subse-quent living you choose to do), the whole thing was called off. All complaints send to: Odin, Valhalla, Asgard, PO Box 1.Terrible weather was one of the inevitable topics of conversa-tion at the meet and greet for International students hosted by the International Student Advice Team as part of the

    LINC (Life in a New Culture) scheme. The meet and greet was a thoroughly British affair, with cream teas and awkward introductions. As chatter re-bounded throughout the room, borders were broken down and the beginnings of friendships were founded. Later on the stu-dents were led in a challenging quiz. The main topic seemed to be our beloved Kate and Wills, confounding those Internation-als who havent yet acquainted themselves with Britains fa-vourite national treasures.Later on in the evening a group of charming postgrads all met up for some high-speed friend making in the Claverton Rooms, thereby proving that age does not bring more confi-dence and ease when forming relationships. Basically, as Uni-versity of Bath students were all in the same boat; were all just as shit at introductions as each other. Rejoice in the awk-wardness everyone, we all fit in here.

    Tuesday HighlightsDepartmental

    Inductions

    09:00-17:00

    UG - 13:00-18:00Amphitheatre

    PG Pizza and Board Game

    19:00- 21:00Graduate Centre

    Alumni Pub QuizThe Tub

    19:30-22:00

    ICIA Freshers FringeParade Bar

    18:00-21:00

    PG Campus Tour

    Departments Student Centre

    13:00-14:00

    BBQEastwood/Westwood/

    Woodland

    PG - 14:00-15:30

    PJ Partywith Radio 1s Scott Mills

    Sports Hall21:00 - 02:00