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( rrfie compfete Work§ of

r Wi[[iam SfiaJQ~speare (abridged)

13y JZLaam Long, 'lJanie[Singer,

anaJess WinfieU

tilThe ''Miami Mafia" Ilf

Congratulates and Salutes ~_ -.c_~~____ __ _-----.......----__ ..

Frank R. Angones &

His Cadre of Collaborators

In Their Unequaled Presentation Of"

Wi{uam Snakfspeare 'S Comp{ete WorkJ

• www.sweetsassymolassee.orqf I I t I f

Co umbla Muslcal T;~eatr e Soc iety Presents

'Ihe CompCete WorkJ Of Wi[Ciam Sfia/(espeare

(a6ncfgei) Written r.By .9Laam Long; 1Janie[Singer;

anaJess Winfie[a

Origina[[y Proaucea rJ3y rrhe 1?,Jaucea Slia/(espeare Company

Starring

Seton Hawkins

Pat Higgiston

Peter Mende-Siedlecki Lighting Design Costuming Stage Manager Gagman Lorien Jasny Sara Hames Rami D. Raff

Producer Assistent Director Jen Handorf Mike Kraft

Directed by Frank Angones, Jr.

Produced through special arrangement with Broa dway Pl a y Publi shi ng I nc The scr i pt to this p l ay may be purchase d fr om B P P I a t

http: // www Broadwa yPl a y Publ com

'Tlie compfete wlio)s wlio:

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SETON HA WKINS, (CC '05), is a music major and a Sagittarius who enjoys long walks on the beach and dinner by candlelight. Before his part in Complete Works , Seton was involved in a number of plays at Columbia through LateNite theatre. He's very much enjoyed performing in Complete Works, a play he has wanted since he was in 9th grade. Lots of thanks to Frank, Jen, Rami, Mike, Lorien, Sara, Emily, Pat, Peter, and everyone else invol. ved whose name is cunently escaping me - it's been a lot of fun! Lastly, Seton thinks Kenny G sucks. PAT HIGGISTON, (SEAS '04), has spent his college career attempting to escape the shadow of the Bard. So far he has failed miserably. He appeared as Guildenstern in Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead In FaH 2003, Gloucester in King Lear in Spring 2002, and Solinus in The Comedy of Errors in Fall 2001. In a fit of madness that has lasted far too long, he has also produced a variety of shows for Ki ng' s Crown Shakespeare Troupe, the Guerilla Theater Organization,

. and the Columbia University Performing Arts League. He will be producing the King 's Crown production of The Tempest this May, and will a) so appear in a LateNite Anthology this April. He admits to a shockingly taboo love of the cast and crew of this

show, and is sure their bios are all funnier than his. He thanks his parents for giving, and Meredith for enduring his sense of humor. PETER MENDE-SIEDLECKI, (CC '07), is very frightened to be a part of the production . Not only has it resulted in numerous injuries (which , admittedly, made for good conversation pieces), "Complete Works" is directly responsible for his recent declension into madness and anger. He spends most of his time (that is, when he isn't doing other things) wnttng plays and screenplays and letters to his girlfriend. His latest, "Bob's Wild Years," will be seen in conjunction with six other fabulous new, student-written plays in the LateNite Theatre Spring Anthology. Other Columbia productions include Neil in "Captain, My Captain" (Ellen Reid is the coolest!) and A Cappella #3 in · "Subway Rhapsody," which will be tragically overlooked in the Tony nominations this year. Back home, Peter appeared in bunches of shows, including "Les Miserables" (Marius) and III

"Guys and Dolls" (Nicely­Nicely). He would like to thank his Mom and Dad, Katie (girlfriend extraordi nai re), Seton and Pat (cast members/GOULET!), the prod team (in a word, scrumtrilescent), and the inventors of Cel-Ray soda .

time: Wait, Frank, are you serious?? LORIEN JASNY, (Lighting, CC '05), is Bob's nom de drag. When Bob is not prancing · in go-go boots or working on his phone sex falsetto, he basks in the undying Jove of this sub-altern counter-public. MATT CARLBERG, (CC '07) is not just a freshman. He is the stud muffin from mars. That's

what they called him in prison. Loudly. JULIANA CAPALDI, (CC '04) is hot. She enjoys bird-watching trips in Lerner Hall, calls to the FBI, and the· Virgin Mary. She has a degree in theatrical obstetrics from Oral Roberts University. EMILY KADISH, (CC '06) notes that Lorien did not mention red side lighting this time.

'I/ie CompUte ~/iearsaC: The following were noted by Peter Teen-Wolf Mende-Siedlecki at the first Complete Rehearsal on Monday, December 15, 2003.

mmm ... I forgot the times ...so I made them up ... I know the drill... I'm fired. Sad face.

8or so: The rehearsal was brought to order by Frank, who invited the actors to refer to the persons to their left and right as "neighbor." This did not apply to Peter, I can't remember why. Oh yeah, I had no left. 8:05 maybe: Jen's choice of cookies identified as being ironic. More so for the chocolate chunk though. 8:10: Exchange of AIM screen names. 8: 11: Mike has a fez. 8:15-8:40: Not really sure, I think we all kind of spaced out, except for Mike, who was razor sharp as usual. I want him on my demolition team. 8:41: Brandon Woolf is the greatest person ever. Sort of. Excuse me. Excuse ME. 8:42: Sarah is lovely. Frank has read The Art of War. Seton has read the Art of something else that Mike immediately recognizes. Sun Tzu has read nothing by any of us. 8:45: Mike doesn't get Frank sandwiches. This makes Frank sad. Jen, however, makes a meanfried chicken, I think. That's what I wrote. I wonder how mean. Like, Hitler mean or just Kim Jong \I mean... 8:50: Pat commits suicide in the thumb war over the usage of a British accent. I'm not sure what he won/lost. 8:51: Work gotten down to. 8:52-10:50: Much funny. A brief summary. I sound nothing like a girl. Seton is really tall for most of this play. Pat should have adance number. I didn't write anything down for that stuff. I have to admit, I made it up. Sorry. Fired again, huh? Oh well.

That's about it. I'll do a better job next time. Until then, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes. No, seriously, watch out... like a bat out of hell, I swear to God.

"A pretty gu-liS better than a plain one. a leg Is better than an ann. a bedroom Is better than a HYing room. an arrtvalls better than a departure. a birth is better than a death. a chase Is better than a chat. a dog Is better than a landscape. a kitten is better than a dog. a baby Is better than a kitten. a kiss Is better than a baby. a pratfall is better than anything." - Preston Sturges' rules for comedy

About a year ago I was workin,g on a production for LateNite Theater when I lookecf around at the theater setupyou're currently sittin,g in and said, "You know what would be a great show to pufon in here?" to which a dopey lookiii,g tall kid said "Complete Works?" That dopey 100king tall kid was one Mr. Ricarao Montalban (currently going by . the name of Seton Hawkins). That idea was stuck In llie back of our minds for the for quite a while. As we went alon,g the way the idea picked uR steam and believers ... a lot like The Muppet MoVie...which would make me Kermit. ..and Rami Fozzie, and Mike Gonzo, and Jen would be Miss Pigg- never mind, let's drop thatright here.

And on this path we picked up three tremendous actors, affectionately referred to as Patterson, who were willing to do anything... and I mean ANYTHING... to make you laugh, as you will soon see. From Seton's commanding sta,ge presence to Pat's special brand of di,gnified chaos to the sheer Michael J. Fox-ness of Peter Mende-Siedlecki, these three thespians were faced with the massive physical and comedic cnallenges of this script with a determined smile and an exuberant pratfall.

Together with a creative team strictly trained in the school of asinine bUffoone~fChuck Jones, Jack Black, Kevin Smith, SNL, Monty on, the Marx Bros., and, of course, Mel Brooks, these ac ors have set forth to present the lighter side of the ,greatest of English Rlaywpghts, whether he likes it or not. Tn the words of Mel Brooks, ''Tra,gedy is when I cut my little finger. Comedy is when you faIT down an open manhole cover and die."

Prepare to die, Mr. Shakespeare. . Prepare to die.

SSM,

Frank Angones

To

eyfie compfete Cast

Mami, Pa on, Abuela Ina, Abuela Yiya, Abuelo Pancho,

Tia Nena, Tia Luli, Katherine, Tia Tere, Tio Eddie, Lauren, Sofie,

Nicole and Elizabeth, and the rest of the Miami clan

Jennie-Pop:

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

1

"0000

j

From Peter Siedlecki and Lynnette Mende

FRANK ANGONES, (Director, CC '0 -), can't believe CMTS gave him funding to put on this show and hopes they never find out about that $40,000 Space Ghost Desk. Frank is no stranger to The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), having performed several 10­minute, one man versions of the show for Florida State Thespians and Key Club International. He is a regular contributor to Columbia's LateNite Theater, having written, directed, and acted in "You're Damned If You Do.. . " (Teamster #1), "The Reproducers" (Zero), "Mild Mannered" (The Black W.A.S.P.), "Subway Rhapsody" (Voice of God), and his

upcoming collaboration with Rami Raff, "Quest!" (Featuring

Complete Works' own Pat Higgis ton and Peter Mende­Siedlecki). Other Columbia credits include The Sondheim Review (Narrator), Little Shop of Horrors (Mr. Mushnik) , Company (Harry), and Kiss Me, Kate (Harry Trevorsl Baptista). One love to Mom, Dad, and Dan (my perennial support staff), Nicole, Rose and incomparable B-Dizzle in absentia, the distinguished Dr. Bunny J. Zoidberg, T-Size,

Matty Pretorius, Tessa, the Sarasota Seven, and, of course, Patterson, Sara (who can make anything look like a sock), Mike (who will one day make me a sandwich), Rami (who will carry anything but the dummy), and my most special thanks to my dearest Jen.

To the Complete Cast, Crew, and Production Team:

BREAK. A LEG!

The Handorfs

MIKE KRAFT, (Assistant Director, CC '05), is majoring in economics and East Asian studies. His previous roles include a bum (subway rhapsody), reporter #2 and a mailman (mild mannered), Gene (the reproducers), and roadie #1 (you're damned if you do). Many thanks to the family and the friends, especially to the cast and crew of Complete Works for being so incredible and making working on this play a very enjoyable experience. Also special thanks to his band, Frank, named after a dear friend, for being a wonderful group of musIcians and people, and helping him make some great music. You should come see Frank, they're better than the Doors. He also has a fez. RAMI RAFF, (Stage Manager, GS/JTS '05), is thrilled to be making his stage-managing debut. He is infinitely better known as an actor. CMTS- "How to Succeed ... " (Mr. Bratt), "The Fantasticks" (Hucklebee), "Everybody Ought to Have a Stage: A Sondheim Revue" (Kevin), "Kiss Me Kate"(General Howell), LateNite­ "Mild Mannered" (Norman Naiper), "Subway Rhapsody" (Priest) forthcoming "Quest!" (Interviewer #1, which he also co-wrote and is co-directing with Frank Angones) and KCST-"King Lear"(Lear Knight). He is also known for a critically acclaimed imitation of Sean Penn in "Mystic River." Rami previously played the role

of Pat in "Complete Works" (though back, then the character was called "Rami") his senior year in high school and is glad to be doing CWOWSA again. Thanks to all my friends and family. JEN HANDORF, (Producer, CC '05), is not a theater person . She was lured in by an unassuming LateNite poster in Spring 2003 and has been writing and directing for them ever since. Later, in the Fall of that same year, she was offered the role of Producer. And now, a little over three months later, she has learned that Bob Goulet is not of mortal stock, The Abby won't seat a party of six, and she would rather spend time with this cast and crew than the finest people in the world. She thanks her parents for every thing, the boys for eating her chicken, and Frank.. . for everything else. SARA HAMES, (Costumes, CC '05), grew up eating crayons. She feels this explains a lot. She is happy to have shed blood, stayed out all night, been bitten by spiders, and laughed to the point of pain in honor of this show. Frank, Mike, Rami, Jen, a pleasure as always, you crazy and talented and crazy and talented

. people you. Pat (KCST Big Brother), Seton (Skoo! Skoo!) and Peter ( ... I am so sorry), wishing you multiple stress fractures in major limbs. A special thank you to Jeff the God of Biscuits and all of his related affiliates, cartoon, Amazing, DNA or otherwise. And now she would like to ask just one more

"Awesome, D d ' u e. "

That's what someone said when we asked, "Do you know the assistant

director of this play?" Of course, he could have said, "Aw, some dude," but people tend not to punctuate when they

speak. Whatever.

Congratulations to Mike Kraft on his hard work bringing

Shakespeare to the masses.

IJ.- (Oh, and Happy 21 st Birthday.) IJ.­

Had he been a Columbian, The Bard would have said, "Hold fast to the spirit

of youth. Let years to come do what they may." Instead, he wrote things like, "I

never knew so young a body with so old a head." That's what you get for drinking

your beer warm.

\

Happy Birthday to our Awesome Dude Mom, Dad and David

rr/ie Complete List ~fP[ays

The Comedies: Tragepies: All's Well That Ends Well Antony and Cleopatra As You Like It Coriolanus The Comedy of Errors Hamlet Cymbeline Julius Caesar Love's Labours Lost King Lear Measure for Measure Macbeth The MelTY Wives of Windsor Othello The MercHant of Venice Romeo and Juliet A Midsummer Night's Dream Timon of Athens Much Ado About Nothing Titus Andronicus Pericles, Prince of Tyre Taming of the Shrew Histories: The Tempest Henry IV, part I Troilus and Cressida Henry IV, part II Twelfth Night Henry V Two Gentlemen of Verona Henry VI, part I Winter's Tale Henry VI, part II

Henry VI, part III The Poetry: Henry VlIl The Sonnets King John Other Plays We Don't Do Richard II

Richard III

%e CompCete List oj.f1Laaitiona['Tecfinica[Staf/:

Colulllbi~ Music~l!fheatre Society: Student Development and Activities

I'rcsident ............. ..Tess~ LaNeve Executive Director ... Kevin Schollcnhergcr Treasurer .........Stephan Padowitz CMTS Advisor .............. .. ..Lauri Stl'ancy Secretary .. ... . , .....Michael Marcus hff,, :II ,nlw..'illldr lllfl lj( lil'.I'.nJ/IIJlt/Ii(ul!lIhda

Board Mcmbers .. .... Kevin Conncll Sheena Fallon Lerner Hall Event Management Emily Kadish

Kathleen Kallstrom Associate Director ............ .... Dara Falco Sarah Longest Reservation Coordinator ..... Carol Arnold

Rami Raff Manager of Daniel Robles Tech Services .... .. ..Tholllas Buczkowski

Ali Rohrs Associate Manager of Carrie Rosson Tech Services .. .... .............John Brauer

rrfie CompCete Ldst OjfQ]loteS' ({(jou{etfff" - I£veryone ({ Makg me a sanawicfir- :TranI( to

Mikg, II yes 11111 doooooo!ll- Sir Lawrence OCivier "get 'Ba{{oons! "- Sara ''J1Ji .. ,{ife'~Peter Menae­Siae{eckj ({yet your own aamn sanawic/i(J Mikg to :TranI(

'You {qLOW it seems Ci~ Peter... is autfientica{{y in Pat's ear.''-:fran/( 'bne of us"-:First nigh.t of reh.earsa{ after airect07j proaucer ana stage manage watch. ":Freaf;/' ''.9l. pa{omino? 'Wliy, tfieyJre

gorgeousf"- Peter '?{fw ru{e/ no one uses %i/(g. as a vo{unteer ever. ''-:Fran/( 'Peter you neea to do it more aRt- 'you sit on a

InA) • throne of {ies" and Cess CiRt- "Soy{ent green is peop{e'''-:!rank:. . Jlvatt was that one of those firm major things'~ Pat ((So... 'U1i... .91.ny60ay wanna get JJ's?'J- Jen

Irsh.a/(g.speare: 0, Poop: 4. " -yrank... ":How much ao you actua[[y stear from

'Me[?P- Jen to Yrank...on his inf{uences 1(1 wish we cou[dge t through one day without hearing someone fiasn It eaten. II ­2?,flmi I:yOU guys are akg, aau{ts. .. it's weira. .. "- Peter 'You k...now

hanging arouna you guys mak...es me reaaze how much TIl ana how many movies I've never

seen. "-Setol! a6011t the proauction team ''%at's it . . . from no'W on on{y one snack:.

alla no caffeine!"- 'l\prni ''Peter there is no way any of things you just said happened; nor did any of the peop[e in that story actua[[y e;r:,.ist''-2?,flmi "Lets see, my ne7(t note, ''J{andS up too fast?" . .. what the he{{?' '-1'ranI( ''lvrlj goa. SetolL is the whitest man ever to have aved. 'c

:rrank... "" ..9I..na a 6ear' ~:Jrank:.

Jlna tlie rest. .. is si[ence. ..

rrfie Comp{ete SpeciaC rrFian~~: Lauri Straney

Tessa LaNeve

The CMTS Board

Robert Goulet

Old Chester

The Cast and Crew of Songs for a New World

Mel Brooks

Ben Weiss

LateNite Theater

The Angones Family

The West End

Broadway Play Publishing

Toys R Us

Thomas B., Lorien, and Lerner Tech

and Plantains

%e Compfete List of fQpcoming Performances on Cq,mpus

The Columbia University Wind Ensemble presents

Russian Music Concert March 7, Roone Arledge Auditorium

Barnard College Musical Thea tere presents

All in the Timing April 1-3, Wien Hall Lounge

King's Crown Shakespeare Troupe presents

The Women April 2-3, Lerner Blackbox Theater

Barnard College Musical Theatre presents

The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds April 9-11, Lerner Blackbox Theater

The Varsity Show presents

The 110th Annual Varsity Show April 15-18, Roone Arledge Auditorium

LateNite Theatre presents

Sprblg Anthology: Destiny April 16-17, Lerner Blackbox Theater

Orchesis presents

Spring Showcase April 23-24, Roone Arledge Auditorium

King's Crown Shakespeare Troupe presents

The Tempest April 29-May 1, beginning at the Sundial

The Columbia University Performing Arts League presents

Special Project April 29-May 1, Lerner Blackbox Theater