Unit 6

Letter of Apology

Contents

Main Sentence Problems (4)Letter of ApologyWriting Practice

Main Sentence Problems (4)

Stringy Sentences(连环句 )Ambiguous Pronoun Reference (代词指代不明）

Main Sentence Problems1.Sentence fragments ( 片段句 )2. Run-on sentence (不间断句 ) 3. Misplaced modifiers（修饰语错位）4. Dangling modifiers(垂悬修饰语 ) 5. Confusing Shifts（转换混乱）6. Choppy Sentences（断续句）7.Stringy Sentences（连环句）8. Ambiguous Pronoun Reference(代词指代不明）

9. Incomplete Construction(结构不完整 )10. Wordiness（罗嗦）

Stringy Sentences(连环句 )

--- A stringy sentence is a sentence in which too many clauses are connected, usually with “and”, “but”, “so” and “because”, forming one very long sentence that seems endless.

For example: Many students attend classes all morning and work all afternoon and then they have to study at night so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.

(How to improve it?)

How to Improve Stringy Sentences

1. To divide2. To subordinate 3. To subordinate and combine

participle phrases4. Participial Phrase

1. To divideMany students attend classes all morning and work all afternoon. Then, they have to study at night. As a result, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.

2. To subordinateMany students, after they attend classes all morning, also work in the afternoon. Because they also have to study at night, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.

3. To subordinate and combine participle phrases

（ 1 ） Many students, who attend classes all morning, work all afternoon, and also have to study at night, are exhausted by the weekend.

（ 2 ） After attending classes all morning, working all afternoon, and studying at night, many students are exhausted by the weekend.

4. Participial Phrase---After attending classes all morning, working all afternoon, and studying at night, my students are exhausted by the weekend.

Ex.2 Improve these stringy sentences. Use any method or combination of methods.

1) The tidal wave ruined the crops, and it destroyed several villages, and it caused many deaths, so it was real disaster.

2) Junk food is bad for your health, and it also contains no vitamins, and it damages your stomach, so you shouldn’t eat it.

3) I have not met Alan but have heard a great deal about his adventures so I am eager to see him.

4) Shanghai has a good harbor and highly developed industry and therefore has become the industrial center and most important port of China.

5) My sister suddenly fell ill and she had to stay at home so she missed many lessons.

6) The roof of the houses were either round or pointed and they made a pleasing contrast with the background of the forest.

Ambiguous Pronoun Reference Pronouns must have clear and definite

antecedents to refer to. (Indefinite pronouns — words such as one, some , any, everyone, many, somebody, and so on are exceptions to this rule in that they can be used to refer to unspecified antecedents. ) All pronouns must be used in such a way as to make their exact reference clear. Problems of faulty reference arise when a pronoun has more than one possible antecedent, when its antecedent is too far away from to be easily remembered, or when it has no antecedent at all.

Types of Ambiguous Pronoun Reference

1) A Pronoun with Two or More Possible Antecedents

2) The Pronoun Without a Clearly Expressed Antecedent

3) The Pronouns It, They, and You with indefinite Antecedents

4) The Pronoun This, That, and Which Referring to General Ideas

5) The pronoun Too Far Away from its Antecedent

1) A Pronoun with Two or More Possible Antecedents

When a pronoun has more than one possible antecedent in a sentence, the reader will get confused about which antecedent is meant.

-Marvin told Jim he was getting too old.

Ways to Correct :-Marvin told Jim he was getting too old.

a. Quote Marvin’s exact words. -Marvin said to Jim, “Jim, you are getting

old.” - Marvin said to Jim, “I am getting old.”b. Change the wording so that it is clear who is

old. -Unable to keep up, Martin confessed to Jim

that he was getting old.c. Rewrite the sentence entirely. -Martin was getting old, and he told Jim so. - Jim was getting old, and Marvin told him as

such.

2)The Pronoun Without a Clearly Expressed Antecedent

-When he went by the dog pound, they rushed to the fence and barked at him.

-She was impressed with the way her operation had gone; this was the vocation for her.可改为：-When he went by the dog pound, the dogs rushed to the fence and barked at him.

-She was impressed with the way her operation had gone; surgery was the vocation for her.

English has a whole string of indefinite pronoun —words like anyone, someone, no one, everybody and one — to indicate unspecified or unknown antecedents, and it is a mistake to use personal pronouns for this purpose.

For example:

-In the Middle Ages, you could not go against the church.

-It says in the paper that the coach may resign.

-Throughout Italy they think a lot of Soccer.

3) The Pronouns It, They, and You with indefinite Antecedents

Ways to revise The Pronouns It, They, and You with indefinite Antecedents

a. Replace the personal pronoun with indefinite ones.

-In the Middle Ages, one could not go against the church.

-Someone says in the paper that the coach may resign.

-Throughout Italy everybody think a lot of Soccer.

b. Eliminate the pronoun entirely.

-Medieval people could not go against the church.

-The paper says that the coach may resign.

- Italians think a lot of Soccer.

4) The Pronoun This, That, and Which Referring to General Ideas

It is common to use this, that or which to refer to the general idea of the preceding clause or sentence in the spoken language, but they should be avoided in writing. If the preceding clause has a noun or a suggested noun that might be mistaken for the antecedent, the reference may be ambiguous.

-when I got sick, this set back my plan.-He learned he had failed; that was the last straw.-She has nervous palpitations, which she learned

from her kindly doctor.

How to improve:a. Eliminate the pronoun.

-My getting sick set back my plan.-His failure was the last straw.-She learned of her nervous palpitations from

her kindly doctor.b. Change the pronoun to demonstrative

adjective (指示形容词 ) by giving it a noun to modify.-when I got sick, this inconvenience set back

my plan.-He learned he had failed; that knowledge was

the last straw.-She has nervous palpitations, which condition

she learned from her kindly doctor.

5)The pronoun Too Far Away from its Antecedent

-Particular, he hoped to find evidence of a universal flood with which to science critics of the Bible’s historic accuracy. Needless to say, his voyage turned out to very differently from the way he planned.

- It was his opinion that she had treated him unfairly and he was justified in leaving her for Marcia. It never changed.

Comment ：So much distracting material comes between the

pronoun and its antecedent that reader must look back to the beginning of the sentence to be sure of the reference.

Ex. Find and correct all reference problems in the following sentences 1 ） In Mexico, they believe what it says about him in the

Bible.

2)Karen wants to be an accountant and has made it her major.

3) He remembered the vase in the room by the heated swimming pool which he had visited the night before.

4) Crack the shell as neatly as possible, and eat it right away for the best flavor.

5)After Helen heard that his canary’s( 金丝雀 ) disease was progressive and could be expected to be fatal, this upset her more and more.

Letter of Apology

IntroductionContents of a Letter of Apology Formats and Samples of ApologyA Letter of Apology for Not Attending the

InterviewUseful Expressions Points in Drafting a Letter of

Apology

Introduction

An apology letter is written to apologize to someone for wrongdoing. An apology letter is a humble way to accept your mistake and say how you are going to rectify the error that you committed. Accepting the mistake and promptly writing this type of letter helps an individual in rebuilding personal or professional relationship and credibility before the injured party.

Contents of a Letter of ApologyApologize

A letter of apology without an apology is really just an excuse. Make sure you say those crucial words at the beginning of your letter.

Acknowledge what happenedBe specific about what happened and be clear about what you’re sorry for.

Solution/What you learnedThis will show that you are being sincere. It will also provide reassurance to the offended party that you won’t do it again. (You won’t, will you?)

ConclusionEnd the letter on a positive note and express your openness to discuss what happened.

Formal letter of ApologyDear {Recipient}Please accept this letter as my formal apology for

what happened on {location, event, issue, etc…} on {MM/DD/YYYY}.

It was not my intention to cause any damage or inconvenience. In retrospect, I believe the situation resulted from {cause}. While this is by no means an excuse for {my behavior, what happened, etc…}, knowing the cause will help me guard against future mistakes.

Again, I am sorry for what happened. If you would like to continue this conversation, please feel free to call me at {phone}. I look forward to hearing from you and putting this matter behind us.

Sincerely,{Sender}

Apology Letter for CustomerDear {Customer Name}Please accept our sincere apologies for the

inconvenience you may have experienced in respect to [the issue].

At {Company Name}, we take pride in ensuring our customer’s satisfaction. Unfortunately, we did not meet your—or our own—expectations. Upon thorough review of the situation, we narrowed the cause to {key staff changes, recent internal system update, office relocation, etc…}.

As a testament to our strive for perfection, we have taken steps to ensure that this will never happen again by {creating company wide training sessions, installing new back-up systems, creating an internal auditing team, etc…}.

{If additional action is necessary:} Because of this serious oversight, we are going to provide you with {3 months worth of service, a free upgrade, etc…}.

We deeply value your relationship with {Company Name} and are committed to providing you with the highest level of service simply because our customers deserve the very best. If you have any further questions or comments regarding this matter, please feel free to discuss it with us at {email, phone#, website, etc…}.

Yours in service,{Company Representative}

Letter of Apology for Mistake

Dear {Recipient}Please accept my deepest apologies for my mistake in

regard to {state mistake}.It was not my intention to create such an awkward and

embarrassing situation for {you, institution, the team, company, etc…}.

If there was any good that came out of this unfortunate experience, it is that I have grown and learned alternative approaches to these situations.

Please feel free to let me know your thoughts and concerns over this matter. You can reach me at {email, phone number}. 

Sincerely,{Sender}

Sample 1: A Letter of ApologyDear Michelle: I'm really sorry that I could not come to your Christmas party. You

had told me about this party and asked me to be there. However, I could not manage reaching the party. I had gone to meet my parents who stay in Chicago last week. While returning from that trip, I met with an accident. I injured my shoulder but now I'm fine.

I was advised rest for a week. Therefore I could not make it to the party. I should have called you and told you the situation. That just went out of my mind. You had planned about celebrating Christmas with me and friends for a long time. I apologize for ruining your party and having kept you waiting.

I can say sorry right now in this letter. And I will meet you personally in the coming week to tell you the situation as I will be there for a business meeting.

Looking forward to meet you. Yours truly,

Tim

Sample 2: An Apology Letter written to a Customer Kenneth Lee

Customer Service Manager LG World 2310 West Kimberly Road, Davenport, IA, United States (563) 388-6082

May 08, 2008

Patricia Davis404 Arrowhead Drive,Denison, IA, United States(712) 263-2012

Dear Ms. Davis :

I am writing this letter to convey my apologies for the inconvenience. My company is late in fixing your air conditioner. I just saw the request that you had sent on May 1. I was not in the office and have just returned from a week long holiday. There were many changes in the company during last week and therefore your request was ignored.

I have reviewed your request and will be sending the person to fix your air conditioner by today evening. You had to wait for a week so I will make sure that it is fixed as soon as possible. There will be some problem in valve as you mention that water is leaking out. You need not pay any charges for the service that we provide today. In the next two months, you don't have to pay any charge for the servicing that we provide for your air conditioner.

You have been a valuable customer for us. I assure you that such a thing will not happen in future. We will be providing good service for all the products that you have bought from our company. We are committed to give best service to our customers. Once again, I am sorry for the trouble.

You can contact me on phone at (563) 388-6082 for any further requirements. I am always there to serve you.

Yours sincerely

Kenneth Lee

Sample 3: A Letter of Apology for Not Attending the Interview

Robert Brown 1121 East Atlantic Street, South Hill, VA United States (434) 447-3610

April 12, 2008 Donna Adams

Human Resource ExecutiveSun Pharmaceuticals671 South park Boulevard, Colonial Heights, VA, United States

(804) 526-0844

Dear Ms. Adams: I'm sorry for not attending an interview scheduled for April 11 at

10.30 am in your company. My sister met with an accident yesterday morning and I had to rush to the hospital. My parents had gone to a business trip and came last night. I had to be with her for the entire day as she was all alone in the hospital. Your company is a leader in pharmaceutical sector. Working with you is a dream job for many young students. I would like to know if you can reschedule my interview.

I have completed my Post Graduate Diploma in Marketing. I have an internship experience of working with Glen Mark Pharmaceuticals. My educational qualification and internship experience fit in the eligibility criteria that you had advertised for the position of Marketing Assistant in your organization. I have also worked as an intern with marketing research firm as I have completed my degree with Statistics as a major.

I hope you will consider my sincere apologies and give me an opportunity to meet you once regarding the position of Marketing Assistant. With this letter, I am enclosing my resume for your perusal. I look forward for a positive reply from you.

Yours truly,Robert Brown

Note:

Like letter of thanks for job interview, letter of apology for missing the interview is also an important process in job hunting. Timely and sincerely apology and acknowledgement of what happened may help a job candidate to get one more opportunity to meet the recruiter for an interview. It is also a chance for a job candidate to restate your wish for the position and his advantages and working experience.

Useful Expressions 2-11 、 I am writing to apologize for … / I am writing to say sorry for我写这封信是因……向你致歉。

2 、 I would like to give you my apology for…对于……我向你道歉。

3 、 Please accept my sincere apology for…关于……请接受我真诚的道歉。

4 、 I am indeed very sorry for what I said / did, but believe I had no intention to…

对于我说的话 / 做的事，我确实感到很抱歉。但请相信，我并非故意要……

5 、 Please forgive me for a stupid choice of words.请原谅我说话欠妥。

Useful Expressions 2-26 、 I feel awfully sorry about it and want you to know what

happened.为此我感到非常内疚，所以想告诉你实情。

7 、 Please accept my apologies for my oversight.请原谅我的疏忽。

8 、 Please allow me to say sorry again.请允许我再次表示歉意。

9 、 I sincerely hope you can understand my situation / think in my position and accept my apologies.

我真心希望你能理解我的处境 / 设身处地地为我考虑，并接受我的道歉。

10 、 Once again, I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused/you have sustained.

对于造成的不便我再次表示歉意。

Points in Drafting a Letter of ApologyTIMING Be quick at writing the apology letter after

the error has occurred. .TONE The tone of the letter should be soft and

sincerity should flow from the words. BRIEF Keep your apology letter short and to the

point. Rather than focusing on the damage you have caused, write about things you will do to rectify the situation.

BLAME Take full responsibility for what you have done.

FOLLOW UP Try to set up a time when you can apologize in person, then back up your apology with considerate behavior in the future.

Writing Practice1.You have made an appointment with your teacher to

talk about your dissertation, but failed to keep it. Write a letter to your teacher to 　　 1)apologize for your failure to keep the appointment, 　　 2)explain your reason to your teacher, and 　　 3)express your wish to make another appointment.

2. You missed an interview for a position you wish for. Write a letter to the personnel manager to

1)apologize for your failure to attending the interview, 　 2)explain to him what had happened, 　 3) express your wish for the job and your advantages,

4) try to make another appointment .

Thank you !