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Practical Science Editing: Making “Good” Better 科学编辑：使文章“好”上加好

ISTIC ConferenceAugust 28, 2007

by Chad Walker ( 王可杰 )( 理文编辑总编辑 )

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I. Writing in General( 写作总则 )

The Better You Can Write English, the Better You Can Edit It

( 英文写的好则编的更好 )

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A. Words( 用词 )

Commonly Confused and Misused Words

( 常见易混易错单词 )

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1. Articles a/an vs. the• “a/an”: used when the noun can exist in more than one form or as more

than one case (“a/an” ：用于可数或单数名词之前 ) ：

“A new species of Escherichia was identified.”

(other species also exist) ( 仍存在有其他物种 )

• “the”: used when no more than one instance exists or is likely to exist in the future (“the” ：指目前或将来独一无二的事物 ) ： “The organism responsible for the outbreak was Escherichia coli.”

Experience using and reading them is the key!

( 使用与阅读最为关键！ )

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2. affect/effect (and impact) • “effect” as a noun is the “result of some action.” ( “effect” 作为名词时，表示“行为的结果” )• “affect” as a verb is “to influence”. • ( “affect ” 作为 动词时，意思为“影响” )

BUT

• “effect” as a verb is to “bring about a change.” ( “effect” 作为动词时，意思为“引起变化” )• “affect” as a noun is the feeling or emotion caused by somebody‘s demeanor,

action, or speech. (“affect” 作为名词时，意思为由于某人行为举止或语言引起的感受或情绪 )

• “impact” should be used only to describe “striking of one body against another” and should not be used as “affect”.( “impact” 只用于描述“一件事对另一件事”产生的冲击，不能作为“ affect” 使用 )

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2. affect/effect (and impact) “Ingesting massive doses of ascorbic acid

may affect his recovery.” (influence the recovery in some way)

“Ingesting massive doses of ascorbic acid may effect his recovery.”

(produce/cause the recovery)

Luckily, the medicine did not adversely affect the patient. Many scientists believe that global warming is the effect of

greenhouse-gas emissions.

.

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3. because/as/since • “as” used only in temporal, not causal, sense.

(“as” 仅用于表示时间，而不是因果关系 )“As we were completing the paper,

new evidence came to light.”

• “because” used to show causal action. (“because” 表示因果关系 )

“Five participants could not complete the follow up questionnaire because they had moved out of the target district.”

• “since” used to show temporal relation. (“since” 表示时间关系 )"Since we completed the study, there have been 3 additional outbreaks."

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4. because of/due to • “due to” = adjective + preposition, meaning “attributable to”

(“due to”= 形容词 + 介词，意为“归因于……” )

"The problem was due to mechanical failure."

• “because of” = conjunction + preposition, meaning “as a result of” or “owing to” (“because of”= 连词 + 介词，意为“因为 / 由于” )

“The problem occurred because of mechanical failure.”

*Tip: Use “attributable to” and “as a result of” to determine the 　 correct one.

( 使用过程中，可以借助“ attributable to” 和“ as a result of” 帮助判断。 )

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5. comparable/similar (and same) • “comparable”: adjective indicating an item lending

itself to comparison with a similar term. ( 形容词，可与某类似物相比的 )

“Because the methods are different, the statistics are not comparable.”

• “similar”: adjective indicating likeness ( 形容词，表示相似性 )

"The mortality rates in Sweden and Chile are similar."

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5. comparable/similar (and same)

*Tip: “Same” is sometimes mistakenly used when “similar” is the correct word. “Same” means exactly the same, or “identical,” which is not often the case when comparing scientific results, especially when comparing the results of two different studies. 

(“Same” 有时会与“ similar” 混淆。“ Same” 指完全一样，或“ identical” ， 通常不用于科研结果的比较 , 特别是两项不同研究的比较 )

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6. compose/comprise/constitute • “compose” *1) active verb meaning to form, to make up a single object, to go together. ( 主动语态时，表形成，组成某物，构成 )

“Twenty-three provinces compose the People’s Republic of China.”

*2) passive verb meaning the same as “comprise” ( 被动语态时，意思同 “ comprise”)

“ The People’s Republic of China is composed of 23 provinces .”

• “comprise” (verb) to include, contain, be made up of ( 动词，表包括，包含，由…组成 )

“ The People’s Republic of China comprises 23 provinces.”

• “constitute” means the same as “compose.” ( “constitute” 与“ compose” 意思相同 )

7. currently/presently/at present (and "now")

• “currently” (preferred) and “at present” mean “now.” (“currently” 和“ at present” 都表示现在的意思，但更推荐使用“ currently”)

“There are currently no available studies on Han Chinese populations.”

• “presently” means “soon”, “shortly”, “in the near future.” ( “presently” 表示很快，不久的将来 )

“Presently, we will go to the Forbidden City

*Tip: “Now” is often mistakenly used in manuscripts when “currently” or “at present” is better. ( 最好使用“ currently” 或“ at present” ，“ Now” 经常被错误使用 )

8. demonstrate/exhibit/reveal/show • “demonstrate” should be used only for deliberate action

intended to illustrate an action or procedure (“demonstrate” 仅用于表示故意的行为，特意说明某行为或过程 )“The technician demonstrated how to operate the pH meter.”

• “exhibit” is used for deliberate action to make visible.

( 表示故意的行为，展示出来 )"He exhibited the mineral specimens at the last congress."

*NOT used to mean passively carrying something. ( 不用于表示被动地体现某事物 )

× 　 "The patient exhibited a rash" ○ 　 "The patient had a rash.”

8. demonstrate/exhibit/reveal/show

“reveal” is an action to make visible what has been hidden. It is not a synonym for “report.” ( 显示原本隐藏的事物，但并非“ report” 的同义词 )

“The X-ray revealed a tumor in the lower part of the stomach.”

*Tip: Non-living things cannot “demonstrate” anything; sentences like “The data demonstrated that...” should be avoided

(“demonstrate” 的主语应该是生命体，像 “ The data demonstrated that...” 这样的用法应当避免 ).

9. significant vs. important/great/major/valuable

• “significant” should be used to mean serving as “pointing to,” especially in the statistical sense of reaching a numeric threshold. ( 通常用于统计学意义达到一定数值的上限或下限 )

“The mean blood pressure was significantly lowered, with a P value of 0.05”

“The results of this research will be of great value to all nanotechnology researchers.”

*Tip: Use the other words only when statistical significance is not intended. ( 如不单纯表示统计学意义，建议使用其它单词 )

10. employ/utilize vs. use • “use”: adequate in most cases to mean applying or drawing

on for a purpose. ( “use”: 使用广泛，表示为达到某一目的采用的方法与事物 )

“An autorefractor was used to measure refractive error.”

“employ”: can also mean to put a person to work or put an object to use. ( “employ”: 聘用某人或使用某物 )

“All of the subjects had been employed at the company since 1997 or earlier.”

*Tip: There is really no reason to use “utilize” in scientific writing. ( 在科学写作中，实在没有必要使用“ utilize”)

Be Concise( 简洁 )

B. Phrases( 短语 )

Practice Exercise!( 练习 )

When writing science, it’s important to be clear and use as few words as possible.( 科学写作：表达清晰，使用短句 )

How did you do?（你会选择哪些词？ )• a majority of • a number of • at a rapid rate• as a consequence of• at this point in time• based on the fact that• completely filled • despite the fact that• due to the fact that

• most• many, several, some• rapidly• because of• now, currently• because• filled• although• because

• during the course of • fewer in number • for the purpose of examining• has the capability of • in all cases• in connection with • in the event that• in the near future• It has been reported by Wang• it is often the case that

• during, while• fewer• to examine• can, is able to• always, invariably• about, concerning• if• soon• Wang reported• often

• it is possible that the cause is• it is worth pointing out that • it would thus appear that • large amounts of• large in size• large numbers of • located in, located near• on the basis of• oval in shape, oval-shaped• prior to [in time]

• the cause may be• note that• apparently• much• large• many• in, near• from, by, because• oval• before

C. Sentences ( 句子 )

Short is the Key( 简短是关键 )

Shorter Sentences( 短句 )

The trend in scientific writing is toward shorter sentences with less punctuation.

( 科技文章写作的趋势是：句子更简短，少用标点符号 )

Sentence Structure( 句子结构 )

In 1600 the average length of an English sentence was 40 to 60 words.

(1600 年，一个英语句子平均有 40 到 60 个单词 )

In 1900 the average length was 21 words.(1900 年，平均有 21 个单词 )

Sentence Structure

In 1970 the average length was 17 words.(1970 年，平均有 17 个单词 )

Now the average length of an English sentence is 12 to 17 words.

( 现在，一个英语句子平均有 12 到 17 个单词 )

Sentence Structure

Chinese uses long sentences.( 中文使用长句子 )

English—particularly scientific English—uses very short sentences.

( 英语－特别是科技英语－使用非常短的句子 )

Sentence Structure

Short sentences are the NORM.They don’t sound childish.

( 短句是准则。这样并不显得幼稚。 )

Exercise: Break down long sentences( 练习：分解长句子 )

New descriptors of local environment and atomic state, the X and Y indexes, can accurately reflect electron distribution around atoms in different chemical microenvironments, therefore when these are applied to characterize local chemical environment and atomic self-state, a satisfactory result was obtained to simulate and predict 13C chemical shift of 22 natural amino acids and 4 non-natural amino acids.

(59 words)

Sentence Structure

Even though the grammar can be similar sometimes, Chinese sentences can be very different from English sentences

( 尽管某些语法相似，但中 / 英文句式却可以完全不同 )

Sentence Structure

For example, Chinese is a head noun language; all modifiers precede the elements that they modify.

( 中文是以名词开头的语言；所有修饰词都放在修饰的成分之前 )

如 : 这本我昨天在这儿买的书。

Sentence StructureIn English, some modifiers go in front of the nounand some are placed after the noun.

( 在英语句子中，有些修饰语放在名词前面，而有些则放在名词后面 )

The book that I bought here yesterday.

Sentence Structure

A modified soil’s single sorption … .

The single sorption of a modified soil … .

Sentence Structure

Correcting sentence structure:( 修改句子结构 )

If possible, don’t translate from Chinese.Write in English from the start.( 尽量不要翻译中文，而用英文写作 )

Sentence Structure

　　　 An important rule:

ONE SENTENCE, ONE IDEA

(重要的规则：一个句子一个意思 )

D. Punctuation( 标点符号 )

Has the Power to Completely Change the Meaning of a Sentence

( 标点可以完全改变句子意思 )

1. Commas: Be careful about commas with essential and nonessential

information

( 在表示重要的和非重要的信息时，请多留意逗号的用法。 )

Ask yourself, “Is the information essential or is it extra information

that could be omitted”?

(仔细斟酌：“此信息重要吗？是否为多余信息，可以省略？” )

If the information is essential, do NOT use commas.

( 如果此信息是重要的 , 不要使用逗号。 )

If the information is extra, nonessential, information, you

MUST use commas.

( 如果此信息是附加的，不重要的，必须使用逗号。 )

Correct: (正确用法 )

The equipment that we used was made by the XX Company.

Wrong: ( 错误用法 )

The equipment, which we used, was made by the XX Company.

Correct: ( 正确用法 )

The equipment, which was made in Shanghai, was very expensive.

2. Hyphens, en dash, em dash: Try not to overuse because they can

slow down the reader

( 尽量少用连字符、短破折号和长破折号：他们会使读者不易阅读 )

Hyphens and Dashes• Hyphen (-): Connector rather than in indicator of

interruption or omission. ( 表连接，而不是停顿或省略 )

well-being, advanced-level• En dash (–): Means “through.” ( 表范围 )

August 28–29; pp. 2–5. • Em dash (—): Separator to create a strong break in a

sentence, like parentheses. ( 很强的停顿，效果同括号 )

These two cities—that is, Beijing and Shanghai—are developing rapidly.

Exercise

1. The introduction is written on pages 3■6. 2. The ISTIC conference will be held August

28■August 29 in Beijing, China. 3. Mr. Wang had tried asking, begging, and even

demanding cooperation from his staff■all of whom were busy with other things■before he gave up and wrote the report himself.

4. No one■not even his professor■thought that his article would be published in Nature.

3. Colons, Semicolons (冒号和分号 )

• Colon: for listing and defining, and indicates a stronger pause than a semicolon.( 冒号：用于列举，定义，比分号停顿强 )

The presentation covered three topics: grammar, punctuation, and format.

• Semicolon: for joining two related complete sentences (shows closer relationship than “.”).( 分号：用于连接两个相关句子，比句号更具关联性 ) The patient had no prior history of disease; however, he

presented with many common symptoms.

4. Asian Fonts( 全角字体 )

• All Asian fonts should be changed to Western fonts for accurate display on other computers and for proper printing.( 全角字体应转换为半角字体，以便他人电脑能正确显示和打印 )

The biggest offenders: ( 最容易导致问题的标点符号 )

、 ， ； ： ( ) × % ＜　＞

Spelling(拼写 )

Good online dictionaries to help with spelling:( 帮助拼写检查的在线词典 )

• http://www.thefreedictionary.com/

• American Heritage Dictionary, 4th Ed. http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/

Spellcheckers(拼写检查工具 )

but remember that it won’t catch mistakes like from/form, trial/trail…

( 但是拼写检查工具不能查出像 from/form, trial/trail 之类的拼写错误… )

Stylebooks (排印手册 )

• Scientific Style and Format: The CSE Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers, 7th edition

• American Medical Association Manual of Style: A Guide for Authors and Editors, 9th edition

• The Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition

• The ACS Style Guide: A Manual for Authors and Editors, 3rd edition

Grammar Books ( 语法参考书 )

• The Gregg Reference Manual

• The Little, Brown Handbook

Dictionaries ( 词典 )

• The American Heritage Dictionary

• Longman Dictionary of American English

• Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary

• Oxford ESL Dictionary

Online Resources ( 在线资源 )

理文编辑的写作助手 : http://liwenbianji.cn/zhusou.htm

• http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/index.html#punctuation

• http://stipo.larc.nasa.gov/sp7084/sp7084cont.html• http://www.iolani.honolulu.hi.us/Keables/KeablesGuide/PartF

our/UnnecessaryCommas.htm• http://englishplus.com/grammar/punccont.htm• http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/• http://www.thefreedictionary.com/• http://englishplus.com/grammar/mistcont.htm

THANK YOU!

谢谢！

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