ContentsWhat it Means to be a Car Guy � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 1
1. How Cars Imprint On You Like Bodysnatchers � � � � � � 4
2. The British Piece of Crap � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 7
3. So Why Do Men Love Cars Anyway ? � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 15
4. Bugs, Bombs, Cars, and Guitars � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 21
5. Why Are So Many Guys Into Working On Their Cars ? � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 26
6. Actual Useful Stuff: Tools of the Trade � � � � � � � � � � � � � 31
7. Why I Don’t Fix Cars for Other People (Part I) � � � 45
8. The Lure of Older Cars � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 48
9. The Volkswagen Bus, The Idiot Manual, and the Great Southern Migration � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 54
10. The First of Many BMW 2002s � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 62
11. Actual Useful Stuff: Car Won’t Start � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 68
12. Notes from Texas: Hen’s Teeth and Redneck Wind Chimes � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 75
13. Northward Ho, Alex, and Bertha � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 80
14. Das Coupe (My 1973 BMW 3�0CSi) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 85
15. Restoration and Why It Makes No Freaking Sense � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 90
Memoirs of a Hack Mechanic
16. Coupe Spare Parts � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 99
17. Yale � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 103
18. Broad Human Connection Through Ridiculously Specific Shared Interest � � � � � � � � � � 108
19. Driving Wicked Fast� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 114
20. Actual Useful Stuff: How to Make Your Car Dependable � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 119
21. The Madness of Buying a Budget Roadster � � � � � 129
22. Siegel’s Seven Car Rule � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 137
23. Discovering Classic Car Insurance � � � � � � � � � � � � 142
24. The Frog-Faced Interloper � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 147
25. The Garage Gets Built and Enables All My Worst Tendencies � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 157
26. Why I Don’t Fix Cars for Other People (Part II) � 162
27. A Chapter About Me and How Fixing Broken BMWs Makes Me Whole� Really� � � � � � � � 164
28. Of Klingons and Kluges � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 171
29. When Cars Attack � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 175
30. The Rhythm of Repair � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 180
31. Overhaul THIS (Actually, Don’t) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 190
The ‘68 VW camper. Rebuilding the engine to Maire Anne’s VW van in the kitchen.
32. The Coming of the Asteroid � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 207
33. The Z3 M Coupe and Eva Mendes’s Butt � � � � � � � 210
34. Actual Useful Stuff: Shock and Awe, Strut Your Stuff � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 212
35. The Car Count Hits Double Digits � � � � � � � � � � � � � 221
36. Alpha Male Behavior Among Car Guys � � � � � � � � 225
37. Actual Useful Stuff: What to Buy (Classic Cars) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 228
38. The Thrill of the Chase: Buying a Classic Car � � � 251
39. Actual Useful Stuff: What to Buy (Daily Drivers) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 255
40. The Thrill of the Chase: Walking Away from a Daily Driver � � � � � � � � � � � � 265
41. My Increasingly Decrepit Flesh � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 270
42. Why I Don’t Fix Cars for Other People (Part III) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 274
43. The Best Rhythm of Repair Example Ever � � � � � � 277
44. An Econobox for Firebird Boy � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 284
45. Vintage at the Vineyard: Home Among the Car Guys � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 288
46. Getting a Cool Car Cool � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 293
47. I Don’t Get to Date 18 Year Olds � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 314
Removing the engine from a 1999 VW Passat.
Rob’s 1973 BMW 3.0CSi on the way to Vintage at the Vineyard in 2010.
48. Some People are Much More of a Whack Job Than You � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 316
49. The Whack-A-Mole Maintenance Model � � � � � � � 323
50. The Bluefish Races (or, “Wanna drive?”) � � � � � � � 326
51. The Torch is Passed � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 329
52. Actual Useful Stuff: Stuckness, For Real � � � � � � � � 332
53. The Mad Dash � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 343
54. Thoughts on Refrigerators, Reliability, and Why You Can’t Go Back � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 348
55. Actual Useful Stuff: Shake Rattle and Roll � � � � � � 356
56. The Porsche Passes � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 369
57. Why I Don’t Fix Cars for Other People (Part IV) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 373
58. Why I Don’t Fix Cars For Other People� Really� No, Really� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 385
59. When Cars Die � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 396
Epilogue � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 405
Art Credits � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 410
Index � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 411
Acknowledgments � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 415
About the Author � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 417
The Siegel familyRob Siegel, BMW CCA member Steve Diamond, and an ultra-rare BMW Z1.
established 1950Automotive Reference™
Bentley Publishers, 1734 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02138-1804 USATel: 617-547-4170 • Toll Free: 800-423-4595 • Fax: 617-876-9235http://www.bentleypublishers.com/contact-us
Memoirs of a Hack Mechanic(a memoir with actual useful stuff)
How Fixing Broken BMWs Helped Make Me Wholeby Rob Siegel
Price: $29.95Bentley Stock Number: GBRSPublication Date: 2013.06.03ISBN: 978-0-8376-1720-6Softcover, 6” x 9”Case quantity: 10432 pages, 37 photos
For over 25 years Rob Siegel has written a monthly column called “The Hack Mechanic” for the BMW Car Club of Ameri-ca’s magazine Roundel. In Memoirs of a Hack Mechanic, Siegel shares his secrets to buying, fixing, and driving cool cars without risking the kids’ tuition money or destroying his marriage. And that’s something to brag about considering the dozens of cars, including twenty-five BMW 2002s, that have passed through his garage over the past three decades.
A geophysicist by day and self-professed car junkie in his free time, Siegel explores his passion for cars with unflinching honesty and offers a unique window into the Car Guy mind. Along the way he reflects on the genesis of his fascination with boxy little German sedans, the miserable Triumph GT6+ he owned in college, rebuilding the engine of his wife’s VW bus in the kitchen of their first apartment, how cars affect family dynamics, and why men really love cars. And in showing how cars have repeatedly been the conduit for deep human connections in his life, Siegel reveals his controversial theory that beyond their greasy fingernails, gearheads are actu-ally intimate, caring creatures. Siegel also explains why, in a world over which we have so little control, the act of diagnosing and painstakingly fixing broken cars can be im-mensely therapeutic. Just don’t ask him to fix other people’s cars!
With a steady dose of irreverent humor, Memoirs of a Hack Mechanic blends car stories, DIY advice, and cautionary tales in a way that will resonate with the car-obsessed (and the people who love them).
“It is heartfelt; it is quirky; and it is mine - a memoir with actual useful stuff. Who else is going to tell you car stories, give you parenting tips, and tell you how to burn out a snapped-off stud with an oxyacetylene torch?” - Rob Siegel, Roundel - October 2012
Putting the coupe to bed for the winter. This photo, shot by Yale Rachlin, so beautifully captures the care and intimacy that men are capable of feeling for their car. (Photo by Yale Rachlin)
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Rob removing the engine from Maire Anne’s ’72 VW Bus in preparation for rebuild and transplant into a ’68 VW Camper. (Photo by Maire Anne Diamond)
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The ’73 Malaga 2002 with camping gear at a Colorado trail head. Tucked into the backpack is the engagement ring Rob would give Maire Anne at the summit. (Photo by Rob Siegel)