1
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
VISIONSEnvisioning and Building a Stronger Asian/Asian American Community
Fall 2008Volume X, Issue 1
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
2
AuthenticityHan Yang Lee â12Marker and Acrylic
3
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Letter From the Editors
â ItâsânotâthatâweâhaveâaâpenchantâforârippingâoffâJaneâAustenânovels,âbutâthisâsemesterâsâthemeâofâPrideâandâPrejudiceâtakesâonânewâmeaningsâinâtheâcontextâofâVISIONSâandâitsâhistory.âLastâyear,âweâhadâthemesâofâRevolutionâandâRebirth,âandânow,âweâareâreadyâtoâreflectâonâourâpastâandâitsâeffectâonâwhoâweâareâtodayâasâaâpublicationâandâaâcommunity.âAlongâtheseâlines,âweâwantedâaâthemeâthatâwouldâembraceâtheâprideâthatâweâhaveâinâourâcommunityâandâacknowledgeâtheâprejudiceâthatâexistsâwithinâitâandâourselves.â
â Thisâsemester,âtwoâofâus,âClaytonâKimâandâEricâLee,âwillâbeâleavingâtheâeditorialâboardâandâjoiningâtheâillustriousâclubâofâformerâeditorsâofâVISIONS.âEverâsinceâweâsteppedâfootâonâthisâcampusâasâlostâandâamazinglyâgood-lookingâfreshman,âtheâtwoâofâusâhaveâworkedâonâVISIONSâandâwitnessedâitsâamazingâgrowthâandâdevelopmentâintoâaâstudentâgroupâthatâservesâasâaâvoiceâinâtheâAsian/AsianâAmericanâCommunity.âTheâtwoâofâusâknowâhowâfarâthisâpublicationâhasâcome,âandâareâproudâtoâhaveâbeenâaâpartâofâtheâhistoryâofâVISIONS.âWeâareâalsoâexcitedâaboutâourânewâeditors,âMelanieâChowâandâAlexâToyoshima,âwhoâwillâbeâjoiningâYeppiiâLeeâandâYueâPangânextâsemester.âWeâlookâforwardâtoâtheâ
wonderfulâthingsâthatâareâstillâtoâcomeâforâVISIONSâasâitâcontinuesâtoâbeâanâimportantâpartâofâBrownâandâourâcommunity.â
â WeâwouldâlikeâtoâthankâDeanâKisaâTakesueâforâherâsupportâandâenthusiasmâforâVISIONSâandâwhatâitâcontinuesâtoâstandâforâtoday.âThankâyouâtoâourânewâandâveteranâE-BoardâmembersâforâtheirâdedicationâandâhardâworkâinâputtingâtogetherâanotherâfantasticâissueâofâVISIONS.âWeâwouldâalsoâlikeâtoâacknowledgeâtheâcommitmentâofâourâstaffâandâcontributorsâinâmakingâVISIONSâpossible.âFinally,âweâthankâyou,âourâreaders,âforâjoiningâusâinâEnvisioningâandâBuildingâaâStrongerâAsian/AsianâAmericanâCommunity.âWeânowâwelcomeâyouâtoâenjoyâtheâFallâ2008âissueâofâVISIONS!â
Loveâ&âPeace,
Clayton Kim â10 Yue Pang â11 Yeppii Lee â11 Eric Lee â10
Fall 2008 Volume X Issue 1
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
4
Editorial BoardMANAGING EDITOR Yeppii Lee â11EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Eric Lee â10LAYOUT EDITOR Yue Pang â11ART & PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Clayton Kim â10
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Melanie Chow â11COPY EDITORS Alicia Chen â12, Amy Chen â12, Courtney Clark â11, Jean Guan â11, Jiwon Kim â12, Huan Ting Lee â11, Jessica Pan â11, Allison Peck â11, Wendy Sekimura â11, Maya Stroshane â11, Star Wang â11, Susan Yue â12
ASSISTANT LAYOUT EDITOR Wendy Sekimura â11LAYOUT STAFF Melanie Chow â11, Marisa Ideta â11, Jiwon Kim â12, Wookun Kim â12, Debbie Lai â12, Lolly Lim â12, Michelle Nguyen â11, Tho Phan â11, Wendy Sekimura â11, Alex Toyoshima â11, Star Wang â11
ASSISTANT ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY EDITORS Alex Toyoshima â11, Jilyn Chao â11ILLUSTRATORS Jiwon Kim â12, Debbie Lai â12, Wendy Sekimura â11COVER DESIGNERS Melanie Chow â11, Yue Pang â11, Wendy Sekimura â11, Alex Toyoshima â11COVER ILLUSTRATORS Wendy Sekimura â11, Alex Toyoshima â11
FRESHMAN REPRESENTATIVE Debbie Lai â12OUTREACH Kenji Morimoto â11PUBLICITY Melanie Chow â11, Wendy Sekimura â11WEBMASTER Jihan Chao â10
The Third World CenterKisa Takesue, Associate Dean of Student LifeUndergraduate Finance Board (UFB)All of our contributors and staff
ADVISOR Dean Kisa TakesueSPONSORED BY The Office of Student LifePRINTED BY Brown Graphic Services
ContributorsPROSE & POETRY
Vijou Bryant â09Melanie Chow â11Eunice Chyung â10Rachel Economy â10Michael Enriquez â11Michael Frauenhofer â11Jean Guan â11Yeppii Lee â11Jean Hazel B. Mendoza â12Kenji Morimoto â11Yue Pang â11Soyoung Park â09Tho Phan â11Elaine Tamargo â11Corrie Tan â10Cherilyn Vy Vy Tran â11VyVy Trinh â11Vivian Truong â12
ART & PHOTOGRAPHY
Melanie Chow â11Devon Cupery â11Lyla McBeath Fujiwara â10Caitlin Ho â10Marisa Ideta â11Karynn Ikeda â09/â10Jiwon Kim â12Debbie Lai â12Han Yang Lee â12Theresa Lii â12Kenji Morimoto â11Hannah Schafer â09Wendy Sekimura â11Kam Sripada â09Elaine Tamargo â11Alex Toyoshima â11
CORRECTIONS
In our Spring 2008 issue, Kevin Kenji OâBrienâs piece stated that âIn 1944, the Supreme Court ruled in Korematsu v. United States that the detainment of loyal citizens was unlawful.â
The court actually upheld FDRâs Executive Order 9066, which authorized the forced evacuation and imprisonment of 120,000 loyal U.S. citizens. Korematsu v. United States is remembered as one of the most infamous Supreme Court rulings because it upheld the blatant discrimination of an ethnic group. Fred Korematsu died at the age of 86 in March 2005.
A Very Special Thanks to
5
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Authenticity
Construction
Rickshaw
Pontocho
Untitled
TwoâUnknownâSkulls
FeetâSpeak
Maze
Untitled
Obon
Mops
FromâtheâScenicâRouteâ(PagudpudâBeach,âIllocosâNorte,âPhilippines)
Untitled
AâGeishaâinâDisguise?
Runningâthroughâaâmaze
HokusaiâRevisited
WhoâSaysâCambodiansâCanâtâBreakâDance?
Memento
Shimenawa
VISIONSâofâPrideâandâPrejudice
Harabuhjiâ
KolkataâMan
âOurâsamenessâbringsâusâtogether,âourâdifferencesâdriveâusâapart:âârecognizing,â acceptingâ andâ celebratingâ ourâ differencesâ towardsâbuildingâcommunityâ â
Unlocked
diaspora
remembrance
SometimesâSheâHadâDreamsâAboutâBeingâinâLove
Personalâreservations
CitywideâEconomicsâatâ11,âBackyardâSandboxâatâ50
Noise
SearchâforâLife
Fla-Vor-Ice
DearâJournal
Tsunami
ChasingâLight
Aquariums
WhereâareâtheâAsiansâinâtheâ2008âPresidentialâElection?
Table of ContentsPROSE & POETRY ART & PHOTOGRAPHY
4
6
9
10
11
12
15
17
19
22
24
26
29
32
35
39
45
46
Melanie Chow & Yue Pang
Yeppii Lee
Eunice Chyung
Vijou Bryant
Tho Phan
Vyvy Trinh
Kenji Morimoto
Michael Frauenhofer
Elaine Tamargo
Cherilyn Vy Vy Tran
Vivian Truong
Jean Hazel B. Mendoza
Jean Guan
Michael Enriquez
Rachel Economy
VyVy Trinh
Corrie Tan
Soyoung Park
Han Yang Lee
Hannah Schafer
Kam Sripada
Kenji Morimoto
Jiwon Kim
Theresa Lii
Alex Toyoshima
Marisa Ideta
Karynn Ikeda
Kenji Morimoto
Devon Cupery
Elaine Tamargo
Debbie Lai
Melanie Chow
Devon Cupery
Han Yang Lee
Caitlin Ho
Marisa Ideta
Lyla McBeath Fujiwara
a
7
8
13
14
16
18
20
21
23
25
27
28
33
34
36
41
44
b
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
6
â Itâisâaâtruthâuniversallyâacknowledgedâ(inâAsia)âthatâaâsingle,ânon-AsianâmanâinâpossessionâofâaâgoodâfortuneâmustâbeâinâwantâofâanâAsianâgirl.â Howeverâlittleâknownâtheâfeelingsâorâviewsâofâsuchâaânon-Asianâmanâmayâbeâonâhisâfirstâenteringâaâ[insertAsiancountryhere]town,âthisâtruthâisâsoâwellâfixedâinâtheâmindsâofâtheâsurroundingâfamiliesâthatâheâisâconsideredâasâtheârightfulâphoenix-dragon-pearlâforâsomeâoneâorâotherâofâtheirâAsianâflowers.
t
â Mr.âandâMrs.âFortune,âtheâproudâownersâofâFortuneâsâCookie,âtheâthriftiestâpan-Asianârestaurantâinâ[insertAsiancountryhere]town,âwereâhostingâtwoâAsianâbusinessmenâandâtheirâdashingânon-Asianâfriend,âMr.âDa-lo-see,âasâtheyâdiscussedâtheâfallingâdollarâoverâaâbowlâofârice.âââ Asâtheyâsplitâtheirâwoodenâchopsticks,âGentleBlossomingâFlower,âtheâFortunesââdaughter,âsilentlyâappearedâwithâaâpotâofâhotâgreenâtea.ââSmilingâshyly,âsheâpouredâtheâsteamingâliquidâintoâtheirâredâplasticâDixieâcups.ââAfterâGentleBlossomingâFlowerâglidedâaway,âAsianâManâNumberâOneâturnedâtoâAsianâManâNumberâTwo,âraisingâhisâthin,âblackâeyebrowsâupâoverâhisâmetal-rimmedâspectacles.âââ Ponderingâhisââpaidâescapadesââfromâtheâpastâevening,âAsianâManâNumberâOneâsaidâtoâNumberâTwo,ââLoudOvergrownâWeedâdressâupâforâmeâjustâlikeâââheâflickedâhisâheadâtowardsâtheâkitchenâknowinglyâandâsmiled,âhisâthin,âblackâmustacheâcurlingâup,âââIâenjoyâmuch.âââ âForâme,âIâpreferâquietâwomanâwhoâcookâmeâgoodâfoodâandâlayâstillâinâbed.ââBearâmanyâsons,ââNumberâTwoâsaid,âstaringâlonginglyâatâtheâkitchen.ââ âSheâisâtolerable.ââButânotâhandsomeâenoughâtoâtemptâme,ââMr.âDa-lo-seeâsneered.ââ
â Littleâdidâheâknow,âGentleBlossomingâFlowerâwasâstandingâbehindâhim,âholdingâaâchilledâTsingtaoâbeer,âcomplimentsâofâMr.âandâMrs.âFortuneâ(whoâhopedâhisâinebriationâwouldâleadâtoâaânewfoundâpassion,âandâhopefullyâmarriage).ââInâaâfitâofâfury,âtheâ
suddenlyânot-so-gentleâGentleBlossomingâFlowerâpouredâtheâcontentsâofâtheâbottleâoverâhisâ$500âhaircut,âmuchâtoâtheâhorrorâofâtheâFortunes.âââ Afterâsheâranâaway,âMr.âDa-lo-see,âlickingâtheâtastyâbeerâstreamingâdownâhisâfaceâlikeâtearsâ(orâmaybeâsweat),âthoughtâtoâhimself.ââMomentsâbefore,âMr.âDa-lo-seeâhadâscarcelyâallowedâherâtoâbeâpretty;âheâhadâlookedâatâherâwithoutâlustâatâtheârestaurantâtable,âbutânowâitâwasâclearâtoâhimâthatâsheâwasâmoreâthanâjustâaâdutifulâdaughterâandâgentleâwoman.ââToâthisâdiscoveryâsucceededâsomeâothersâequallyâmortifying.ââThoughâheâhadâdetectedâwithâaâcriticalâeyeâmoreâthanâoneâfailureâofâmannersâandâobedience,âheâwasâforcedâtoâacknowledgeâherâboldâspiritâtoâbeâfreshâandâspunky;âandâinâspiteâofâhisâassertingâthatâherâbehaviorâwasânotâtypicalâofâhisânon-Asianârace,âheâwasâslammedâinâtheâfaceâbyâtheâcoldâbeerâŠofâloveâandâpassion.ââââ
â Ofâthis,âGentleBlossomingâFlowerâwasâperfectlyâunaware;âtoâher,âheâwasâonlyâtheânon-Asianâmanâwhoâmadeâhimselfâagreeableânowhere.ââ
t
â Twoâweeksâlater,âMr.âDa-lo-seeâopenedâtheâdoor,âlikeâaâphoenix-dragon-pearl,âtoâFortuneâsâCookie.ââMr.âandâMrs.âFortuneâgasped,âhyperventilatingâinâshockâatâtheirâunexpectedâfortune.ââTheyâpushedâtheirâdaughterâtoâtheâfrontâofâtheârestaurantâasâsheâlookedâbackâatâthemâinâdisgust.âââ Onâbendedâknee,âMr.âDa-lo-seeâspreadâhisâarmsâoutâlikeâanâeagleâandâdeclared,ââIfâyouâknowâwhatâsâgoodâforâher,âyouâllâallowâyourâdaughterâtoâassistâmeâinâmyâhouse.ââSeeminglyâoutâofâno-where,âheâbrandishedâaâ[insertAsianracehere]âtraditionalâcostume.âââ TheâFortunes,âunableâtoâbelieveâwhatâwasâhappeningâbeforeâtheirâsquintyâeyes,ânoddedâviolentlyâandâpushedâtheirâdespondentâdaughterâintoâtheâkitchenâtoâchange.
t
â AfterâworkingâforâMr.âDa-lo-seeâsâestateâforâtwoâdays,âGentle-
VISIONS of Pride and PrejudiceBy Melanie Chow and Yue Pang
7
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
BlossomingâFlowerâsâheartâbeganâtoâwhisperâsweet-nothingsâtoâherâmindâeveryâtimeâsheâdustedâhisâdiamond-encrustedâlionâstatueâandâcookedâmealsâwithâhisâgold-platedâwok.ââAfterâall,âanâAsianâladyâsâimaginationâisâveryârapid;âitâjumpsâfromâadmirationâtoâlove,âfromâloveâtoâmatrimony,âinâaâmoment.â Asâsheâadministeredâhisânightlyâspongeâbath,âMr.âDa-lo-seeâsaidâtoâher,ââAreâyouâenoughâofâaâproperâwomanâtoânotâbeâtemptedâbyâallâofâthis?â;âheâusedâoneâhandâtoâgestureâtowardâhisâsoapsud-coveredâbody.âââ Inâanâinexplicableâfitâofârage,âGentleBlossomingâFlowerâdunkedâhisâheadâunderneathâtheâwater.âHowever,âsheâsoonârealizedâthatâhisâsuggestiveâcommentâwasâlikeâaâbreathâofâfreshâairâafterâhavingâbeenâtreatedâlikeâaâgentleâblossomingâflowerâherâentireâlife.ââAtâthisâepiphany,âsheâviolentlyâpulledâhisâheadâoutâofâtheâwaterâandâkissedâhim,âonlyâtoâhaveâhimâcoughâandâsputterâatâtheâsoapyâwaterâthatâfilledâhisâmouth.âââ âNowâthatâyouâveâfinallyâsubmittedâtoâyourâcarnalâdesires,âwillâyouânotâagreeâtoâmarryâme?ââheâasked.â âOhâtrustâme,âtheâdoorsâofâtheâ[insertAsianreligionhere]âtempleâ
haveâalwaysâbeenâopenâŠIâamâjustânowârunningâthroughâthem.ââ âIsâthatâaâyes?â
t
â Tenâyearsâlater,âtheyâwereâtheâproudâparentsâofâthreeâbeautifulâgirls.ââAndâwhatâgoodâfortuneâtheyâhad,âfor,âinâthisâdayâandâage,âAsianâgirlsâonlyâneedâoneâlineâofâdialogueâtoâsecureâaâhappyâmar-riage.ââ
MELANIE CHOW â11 and YUE PANG â11 split their Tâs and Hâs.
Illustration by Wendy Sekimura
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
8
Myâgrandfatherâisâninetyâyearsâold.âHeâimmigratedâtoâtheâUnitedâStatesâwhenâheâwasâsixty-fourâyearsâold.Oneâyearâlater,âheâwasâjoinedâbyâhisâwifeâandâtwoâsons.âMyâfatherâwasâtwenty-eight;âmyâuncle,âthirty-one.
MyâgrandfatherâwasâaâfarmerâinâKorea.Hisâskinâisâforeverâtannedâtoâaâleatheryâbrown,âandâhisâhandsâareâlikeâstoneâhewnâbyâstone.Heâleftâhisâhome,âhisâlanguage,âhisâpeople.Heâleftâthemâforâaâcountryâandâaâpeopleâthatâdoânotâunderstandâhisâhome,âhisâlanguage,âhisâpeople.â
Nowadays,âmyâgrandfatherâhardlyâspeaksâofâlongâagoâorâmemoriesâofâhome.Hisâwalksâareâslowâandâcalculated,âeachâstepâaâpotentialâdisaster.âThisâcountryâstrippedâmyâgrandfatherâofâhisâyouth,âhisâfreedom,âhisâvoice.
Myâgrandfatherâdidnâtâcomeâhereâforâhimself.Heâwasâwillingâtoâloseâthatâyouth,âthatâfreedom,âthatâvoice.HisâdreamsâforâanâAmericanâlifeâwereânotâforâhimself,âbutâforâme.
IâwillânotâbeâstigmatizedâbyâaâhyphenatedâAmericanâidentity.Itâshowsâmeâhisâhistory,âhisâsacrifice.Itâshowsâmyâgrandfatherâsâyouth,âmyâgrandfatherâsâfreedom,âmyâgrandfatherâsâvoice.IâmânotâjustâlivingâforâmyâAmericanâway,âbutâforâmyâgrandfatherâsâKoreanâwayâtoo.
Myârootsâareâdeepâmyârootsâareâhis.Iâknowâmyâroots,âandâwithâthoseâroots,âIâlikeâmyâhyphenatedâAmericanâlife.Iâllâfindâmyâgrandfatherâsâyouth,âmyâgrandfatherâsâfreedom,âmyâgrandfatherâsâvoice,âandâtheyâwillâgiveâmeâmine.â
HarabuhjiBy Yeppii Lee
YEPPII LEE â11 microwaves ramyun and smells yellow roses.
9
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
ConstructionHannah Schafer â09Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
10
RickshawKam Sripada â09
35 mm Color Print
11
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
â Heâasksâme,ââPlease,âwhatâcountry?âââ âAmerica.ââ HeâeitherâlaughsâorâsaysââNoââorââEh?ââorâjustâlooksâatâmeâblankly.
â Sometimesâheâdoesnâtâevenâask.âHeâjustâseesâmeâonâtheâstreetâandâcalls,ââ âKonnichiwa!ââ âAnnyung!ââ âHello,âMadam!â
â SometimesâIâonlyârespondâwhenâheâgetsâitâright.âOtherwiseâIâjustâlookâatâhimâblanklyâorâIâdonâtâlookâatâall.âItâsâlikeâearningâpointsâonâaâgameâshow.âMostâofâtheâtimeâheâloses,âbutâIâmâtheâoneâwhoâgetsâtheâpenalty.âHeâsâatâhisâshopâinâNewâMarketâandâquadruplesâtheâpriceâforâmeâbecauseâAsiansâareâtooâmeekâtoâbarter.âHeâsâtakingâordersâandâreplacesâtheâmenuâinâmyâhandsâwithâoneâwrittenâinâKoreanâwithâonlyâKoreanâoptions.âHeâsâwalkingâdownâSudderâStreetâandâfollowsâmeâtoâmyâguesthouseâbecauseâIâmâaâJapaneseâtouristâlookingâforâanâeasyâlay.
â SometimesâIâmakeâthingsâup.ââWhatâcountry?,ââheâasks.ââ âCanada.ââ âEngland.ââ âVietnam.ââ âMalaysia.â
â Sometimesâitâsâuseful.âIfâheâsâbotheringâme,âIâspeakâonlyâinâKorean.âHeâknowsâBengaliâandâusuallyâHindiâandâaâgoodâamountâofâEnglishâbutânoâKorean.âSoâheâleavesâmeâalone.
â Once,âheâtellsâmeâheâdoesnâtâlikeâmyâpeople,âtheâChinese.ââTheyâareâveryâbad,ââheâsays,ââtheyâtryâtoâtakeâourâcountryâandâourâbusinessâandâtheyâareâveryâviolent.ââButâthenâmyâwhiteâfriendsâtellâhimâthatâIâamâAmerican,âandâheâlaughsâatâhimselfâandâapologizes,âsayingâthatâmyâcountryâisâveryâbeautifulâ(âButâGeorgeâBushâisâaâno-goodâpresident!â).
â IâthinkâthatâIâhaveâtoâstandâmyâground,âstandâtall,âandâjustâstand,âsoâIâcanâteachâhimâthatâthereâisânoâoneâtypeâofâAmericanâandâthatâtheâU.âS.âofâA.âhasâmanyâpeopleâwhoâlookâlikeâme.âSoâforâaâwhileâIâtellâhimââAmericaââandâsometimesââYes,âAmericaââandââIâgrewâupâinâAmericaââorââIâlearnedâEnglishâinâAmericaââandââMyâparentsâareâfromâKorea.â
â Butâmaybeâitâdoesnâtâmatterâsoâmuch.
â IâamâAmericanâandâKorean.âButâtoâhim,âtheseâthingsâdonâtâgoâtogether.âHeâdoesnâtâbelieveâinâmyâpoliticalâcorrectnessâandâwhileâIâmâhere,âneitherâdoâI.
â Heâasksâagain,ââWhatâcountry?ââ âKorea.ââ âKorea!âAnnyung!â
EUNICE CHYUNG â10 has barely seen India.
Kolkata ManBy Eunice Chyung
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
12
â Iâamâaâmultiracial,âqueer,âAsianâAmericanâwoman.âThoseâareâaâlotâofâidentitiesâandâIâevenâleftâoutâaâfew.â
â Iâwantâtoâventâsomeâofâmyâfrustrationâaboutâdiscussions,âgroups,âandâspacesâwithâwhichâIâhaveâbeenâactiveâandâengaged.âVeryâfewâofâourâdifferencesâwithinâourârespectiveâcommunitiesâandâgroupsâareâacknowledged,âconfronted,âandâunderstood.âAskâyourself:âwhenâwasâtheâlastâtimeâweâhadâaâdiscussionâinâ<<insertâculturalâgroupâhere>>âaboutâclass?âHaveâweâeverâincludedâaâdiscussionâaboutâsexualityâinâanyâofâourâmeetingâagendas?âThinkâaboutâyourâlastâexperienceâtalkingâaboutâtheâintersectionalityâofâyourârace,âethnicity,âsexuality,âclass,âandâgenderâamongâanyâofâyourâcommunities.âWhenâwasâthat?âHaveâyouâeverâhadâthat?â
â Iâthinkâitâsâtimeâweâtakeâitâthere.âItâsâtimeâweâtakeâourâconversa-tionsâandâactionsâtoâaânewâlevelâandâaddressâintersectionality.â
â Iâbelieveâinâbuildingâaâstrongâmultiracialâcommunity,âFilipinoâcommunity,âAsian/AsianâAmericanâcommunity,âandâpeople-of-colorâcommunity,âbut,âinâorderâtoâdoâso,âweâmustâconfrontâotherâoppressionsâthatâoftenâseparateâandâdivideâusâfromâeachâother.1âInâourâmeetings,âweâmustâbeginâtoâshareâourâgender,âsexuality,âandâclassâalongsideâourâracialâidentitiesâinâtheâhopesâofâbecomingâstronger,âmoreâloving,âandâliberated.âWeâmustâdoâthisâinâaâtrust-ful,âopen,âandâpatientâway.âIâhaveâfeltâaâdeepâsenseâofâloveâandârespectâforâthoseâinâmyâcommunities;âyet,âaddressingâourâdiffer-encesâcanâonlyâmakeâthisâloveâandârespectâevenâdeeperâandâmoreârealâforâallâofâus.âThisâisânotâanâeasyâtask.âHowever,âIâgenuinelyâbelieveâitâcanâbeâdoneânotâonlyâthroughâourâdiscussionsâbutâalsoâthroughâourâindividualâandâcollectiveâactions.âTheâThirdâWorldâCenterâdoesânotâhaveâtoâbeâtheâonlyâpoliticalâspaceâaddress-ingâraceâandâpeopleâofâcolor.âLetâsânotâleaveâitâupâtoâtheâMinor-ityâPeerâCounselorsâandâMPCâFriendsâtoâleadâdiscussionsâandâorganizeâworkshopsâandâeventsâaroundâtheââ-isms.ââAsâAsians/
âOur sameness brings us together, our differences drive us apart:â recognizing, accepting and celebrating our differences towards building community
By Vijou Bryant
AsianâAmericans,âletâsâtakeâitâuponâourselvesâandâdemandâitâasâaâresponsibilityâofâourâcommunitiesâtowardsâraisingâconsciousnessâandâawakeningâourselvesâtoâourâdifferencesâandâtoâtheâsimilari-tiesâweâshare.âFA,âmyâfamily,âwhenâwasâtheâlastâtimeâweâhadâaâdiscussionâaroundâqueerâidentityâinâtheâFilipino/FilipinoâAmericanâcommunity?âBOMBS,âmyâheart,âourâmeetingsâcanâbeâthought-provokingâandâtrulyâamazing,âbutâwhenâsâtheâlastâtimeâweâhadâaâconversationâaboutâexotificationâandâitsâintersectionsâwithâgender,âsexism,âandâheterosexism?âKASA,âhowâaboutâorganizingâanâeventâaroundâimmigration,ârace,âandâclass?âHowâaboutâcollaboratingâonâanâeventâlikeâthisâwithâM.E.Ch.A.?âIâmânotâcallingâoutâanyâgroupsâinâparticular,âbutâratherâtheâAsian/AsianâAmericanâcommunityâinâgeneral.â
â Oneâofâmyâall-timeâfavoriteâwriters,âthinkers,âandâpowerfulâwomenâPapusaâMolinaâwasâtheâcreatorâofâtheâtitleâandâinspira-tionâforâthisâessay.âAndâsheâisâabsolutelyâright.â
â Itâsâtimeâweârecognize,âaccept,âandâcelebrateâourâdifferences.âInâdoingâso,âourâlargerâvisionsâofâcommunityâbuildingâandâindividualâandâcollectiveâgrowthâwillânoâlongerâbeâvisionsâbutârealities.âInâtheâfeministâspiritâofâMolina,âIâleaveâthisâessayâwithâaâfewâlastâwords:ââWeâstruggleâeachâdayâtoâgetâclearerâandâclearerâaboutâwhoâweâareâandâaboutâtheâtaskâinâfrontâofâus.â2âWeâneedâtoâstruggleâtogether,âinâsolidarityâandâinâlove.âWeâneedâtoâstartâbyâhavingâtheâconversationsâweâareâtooâafraidâtoâhaveâaroundâtheâintersectional-ityâofâourâownâidentities.â____________________________________________________1â Molina,âPapusa.ââRecognizing,âAccepting,âandâCelebratingâOurâDifferences.ââMakingâFaces,âMakingâSoul:âCreativeâandâCriticalâPerspec-tivesâbyâFeministsâofâColor.âEd.âGloriaâAnzaldua.âSanâFrancisco:âAuntâLuteâBooks,â1990.â326-331.â2â Ibid.â
VIJOU BRYANT is a senior (09!) committed to community, justice, and truth.
13
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
IN.â â â â â â â â â âLongâhistory.â â â â â â â â â ââââââââStraightâplaces,âstraightâfaces.â â â â â â âââââââJustâplainâstraight...forward!â â â â â â â ââââââââToâwalkâthisâlonelyâpath.â â â â â â â âHidden.âAnd.âDark.â â â â â â â â ââââââââJustâplainâfright...full.â â â â â â â â âââââââââFears.âConfession.âRejection.âTears.â â â â ââââââTheâfirstâandâonly?â â â â â â â âââââââââBrokenâgeneration.âStreetâlife.
OUT.Sameâ(her)âstory.
Safeâplaces,âstrongâfaces.Straightâupâopen!
Iâmetâaâgirl...Whoâhadâmyâkey.Itâsâjustâmyâturn.
Key.âUnlocked.âUncovered.âFree.Not.âA(lone)r.âNoâmore.
Reassembledâandâlivingâlife!
Unlocked.By Tho Phan
THO PHAN â11 is hoping for peace and waiting for love.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
14
diasporaBy VyVy Trinh
VYVY TRINH â11 took Writing the Southeast Asian War in the English department, and it was the shit.
i.
grewâupâaroundâtofuâshopsâandâstripâmallsâofâaâfishyâcharacter,whereâtheyâimportedâoceansâintoâfryingâpans
weâdrankâtheâskiesâatânightâstarsâlikeâgrassâjellyâandâtapiocaâdotsfloatingâinâmist,âtheâghostlyâtrailsâofâcoconutâmilk
twiceâaâyear,âlion-caterpillarâhybridsescapedâtheirâthin-eyedâmastersââleashesandâdancedâlikeâwindâtoâtheâthickâfallsâofâdrumsticks
friendsâexchangedâlowâgossip,âheavyâwithâhotâoil,overâfatâfragmentsâofâmeatâloungingâinâfoot-deepâbowls,âskinny-dippingâwithâinextricabilities,âstringsâofâwhiteâflour
ii.
thingsâgather:âwater,ârunningâdownâsmoothâglass,catchesâinâtheânooksâofâdirt.blood,âflittingâthroughâveins,clots.thingsâgather.â
iii.
onceâthereâwasâaâhistory,whichâfragmentedâandâsplashed,âred,âoverâtheâearthâsâsmoothâglassâface.
theânarrativeâsâparticlesâcollectedâinâpocketsâofâsilverâcities,andâregenerated,âasâstarfish,âtheâthingsâlost
flyâtoâtheâmoonâandâlookâback:youâllâseeâaâconstellation,aâsnake-imageâconnectingâaâthousandâdots
iv.
grewâupâaroundâsandwichâshopswhereâaâgirlâcouldâwalkâoutâtoâaâtinklingâbellholdingâaâbaguetteâstainedâdarkâwithâsoyâsauce
15
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Pontocho Kenji Morimoto â11
Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
16
UntitledJiwon Kim â12
Graphite
17
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
iâlookâatâmyâhandsââ wrinklesâhaveâalreadyâformed,âetchedâonsculptedâwithâ.5âleadâmadeâinâjapan
sepia-taintedâremindersâblurringbeneathâtheâautumnâmaple,âasâdryâleavesâshowâtheirâ
â frontsâandâbacks.ââcascadingâdimly,â
crunchedâwithâeachâstepâiâmakeâwhileâ.5âleadbleedsâintoâaâriverâofâblackâinkseepsâthroughâriceâpaperâfibersandâbambooâshadowsâuntilâiâamâunderâtheâsuffocating,âengulfingâoceanofâsepiaâwrinklesâ sculptedâleavesâ â autumnâbambooâfibersââ untilâiâhaveâdrownedâinâaâriverâofâforlornâmemories,ââ â blackâink,âââ â â andââ â â â iâlookâatâmyâhandsâ
â â â â â â andâreflect.â
remembranceBy Kenji Morimoto
KENJI MORIMOTO â11 misses sunday dinners of fried chicken, onigiri, and tsukemono.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
18
Two Unknown Skulls Theresa Lii â12
Oil
19
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Sheâsaysâsheâonlyâeverâfellâinâloveâonce.Heâbendsâoverâtheâdirtyâglassâbottleâandâmakesâitâsubmerge.âTheâwaterâisâlightâgrayâandâspeckledâwithâhair,âbitsâofâpaper,âaâcoughâdrop.âWhenâheâpullsâoutâtheâbottleâandâsucks,âallâtheâwaterâchurnsâbackâandâtheâbucketâisâfull.Heâwasâprettyâsheâsays.âAndâheâwroteâherâsuchâbeautifulâpoems.Inâtheâbigâemptyâroomâsomeoneâlaughs.
Itâdidnâtâlastâsheâsays.Heâsticksâhisâtongueâinâandâoutâandâmakesâfists.âItâisâuglyâbutâtheâmedicineâworks.âSoâsheâtriesâtoâgetâusedâtoâit.Heâisâstillâbeautifulâsheâsays.âButâheâstoppedâwritingâpoems.Someoneâplaysâwithâtheirâlighter,âputsâtheâflameâinâandâout.
Sheâsaysâitâwasâaâbadâyear.Heâsaysâheâfeelsâlikeâtheâblade.âTheyâjustâgiveâtheirâloveâtheâonlyâwayâtheyâknowâhowâtoâandâitâcutsâandâitâhurts.âButâwhenâheâsmokesâheâfeelsâbetter.Heâisâdoingâhisâbestâsheâsays.âWhatâisâaâdiseaseâanyway.Someoneâisâplayingâguitarâandâtheâmetalâstringsâcutâintoâtheirâskin.
Sometimesâyouâjustâhaveâtoâwalkâawayâsheâsays.Heâcurlsâupâinâaâballâinâtheâcornerâandâtriesânotâtoâbreatheâasâtheâroomâfillsâwithâgas.âHeâcanâhearâthemâoutsideâknowsâtheyâpoisonedâhisâfood.âHeâcallsâherâonâtheâphoneâandâheâcriesâsaysâitâsâstartingâagain.Sometimesâloveâisârunningâawayâsheâsays.âIâdonâtâknowâwhatâtoâdo.Inâtheâbigâemptyâroomâsomeoneâleaves.
Sometimes She Had Dreams About Being in LoveBy Michael Frauenhofer
MICHAEL FRAUENHOFER â11 never really existed all along at all nope not the case.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
20
Feet Speak Alex Toyoshima â11
35 mm negative
21
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Itâonlyâtakesâoneâword,âoneâthought,âoneâtouch,âtoâremindâmeâofâhowâIâusedâtoâbe,Aâbelieverâinâconsistency,Anâinventorâofâfantasticâdreams,â Sureâofâherâpastâandâpresentâasâaâbasisâforâherâfuture.â
ButâitâonlyâtookâoneâdoseâofârealityâorâoneâflashâofâunpredictabilityâtoâtakeâmeâbackâtoâwhoâIâveâcomeâtoâbe,Anâadvocatorâofâinstability,Aâcreatorâofâconfusion,â Uncertainâofâherâideaâofâhistory,âherâpresenceâinâtheânow,âseeingâbothâasâshakyâfoundationsâhidingâherâfromâwhatâsâtoâcome.â
AndâbecauseâIâbelieveâinâaârightâtime,âIâdonâtâmakeânowâtheârightâtimeââ andâmyâsilenceâisâseenâasâignorance,â myâhopeâaâsignâofâinexperience.ButâIâknowâthatâpainâisâtheâabsenceâofâloveââ setâoffâbyâtheâtormentâofâdisappointment,â thatâtheâbeliefsâIâdependedâon,âtheâpeopleâIâreliedâonââ nowâareâchangedâandâoutâofâreach,â andâthatâsuddenârealizationâofâaâphenomenonâlongâcoming,â ofâaâwaveâseenâfromâfarâawayâbutâfeltâonlyâatâthatâpointâwhenâitâhits,â chillsâtheâsoulâasâifâfreezingâtheâheart,â leavingâitsâownerâtrappedâwithinâaâframeâofâinsecurity.
AndâstillâIâresideâinâthisâworldâofâconfrontationâandâopposition,Perfection,âalthoughâacceptedâasâtheâunattainableâgoal,ââââââplaguesâallâwhoâstriveâforâthoseâmomentsâofâglory.Forâthoseâmomentsâwhenâtheâheartâalignsâwithâtheâmindââââââandâtheâlinesâbetweenâexpectedâandâaccomplishedâareâblurredâandâundefined,Andâoneâisâfreeâtoâpassâandâdecideââââââwhetherâtheâpassionâoutweighsâtheâfear.
Personal reservations
ELAINE TAMARGO â11 will always be a clumsy ballerina.
By Elaine Tamargo
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
22
MazeMarisa Ideta â11
Digital Photography
23
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
UntitledKarynn Ikeda â09/â10Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
24
Citywide Economics at 11, Backyard Sandbox at 50By Cherilyn Vy Vy Tran
ââ Timeâdoesânotâageâaâwomanâlikeâmyâmom.âHerâunwrinkledâeyesâaccentuateâherâsilkyâblackâcurlsâandâdemonstrateâherânaiveâdependenceâonâanâunfamiliarâworld.âMomâattemptedâtoâopenâherâfirstâbankâaccountâshortlyâafterâherâseparationâfromâDad,âbutâsheâencounteredâaâtellerâwhoâsuggestedâthatâsheâlearnâhowâtoâcountâinâEnglishâbeforeâengagingâinâtheâcomplexâworldâofâcreditsâandâdebits.âPrejudice,ânoâdoubt.âOutraged,âIâdraggedâherâoutâofâtheâmarbleâandâglassâcoldnessâofâthatâcapitalistâtemple.âPride,âIâfigured.âIâwasâtheâmotherâthatâdefendedâherâchildâfromâdiscrimi-natoryâwordsâandâsarcasticâspeech,âwhileâsheâwasâtheâunawareâdaughter.âUnsatisfied,âIâtriedâtoâcomprehendâanâincomprehensibleâfinancingâbookâandâlaterâtaughtâMomâhowâtoâbalanceâaâcheckingâaccount.âIâwasâ11âyearsâold;âMomâwasâ50.âIârealizedâthat,âlikeâotherâfirstâgenerationâAmericanâchildren,âtheâdistinctâlineâbetweenâmotherâandâdaughterâwasâdrawn,âbutâtheârolesâbetweenââteacherââandââlearnerââwouldâremainâambiguousâbetweenâMomâandâme.âIâwouldâbeâMomâsâsocialâguardianâlongâbeforeâtimeâcouldâeverâtakeâawayâherâindependence.
â Aâstrongâheroineâwithâaâsocialâhandicap,âMomâneverâallowedâherâlackâofâEnglishâskillsâtoâpreventâherâfromâputtingâsufficientâfoodâonâtheâtableâandâensuringâthatâherâtwoâdaughtersâwouldâreceiveâtheâgoldenâcollegeâeducationâthatâneitherâsheânorâanyâofâherâtenâsiblingsâeverâobtainedâduringâtheâwar.âEducationâisânotâfree.âMomâpaidâforâitâwithâherâhands,âherâtime,âandâherâyouth.âMomâwantedâthatâeducationâforâherâchildren,âbutâsheâwasâstillâunreceptiveâtoâtheânotionâofâherâyoungâ18-year-oldâdaughterâfightingâthatâacademicâbattleâaloneâ1,275âmilesâawayâfromâhome.ââMomâwouldânotâhearâaboutâmyâcollegeâchoiceâuntilâtheâhoneysuckleâinâherâbackyardâre-leasedâitsâripeâtangerineâscent,âindicatingâtheâendâofâspringâwhenâIâreceivedâmyâacceptanceâletterâfromâBrown.âBrownâwasâanâunfa-miliarâtermâinâourâhousehold,âandâitâwouldâbecomeâtheâgeographicâdivideâbetweenâMomâandâmeâforâtheânextâfourâyears.âYet,âBrownâisâsomehowâfillingâaâmentalâandâemotionalâgapâbetweenâmeâandâmyâfamilyâthatâhasâlongâbeen,âliterally,âlostâinâtranslation.â
â Thoughâsheâmayânotârealizeâitâyet,âmyâmomâhasâalwaysâbeenâthereâforâmeâthroughâdailyâstrugglesâandâaccomplishmentsâ
atâBrown,âthroughâsuccessesâandâfailuresâinâlifeâbyâbeingâtheâpowerfulâcenterâofâmyâknowledgeâandâuniverse.âHerâuntaintedâviewâofâtraditionsâandâadherenceâtoâexpectationsâmotivatesâmeâthroughâmyâjourneyâinâlifeâtoâconstantlyâlookâbackâatâmyârootsâasâaâfirstâgenerationâcollegeâstudent,âasâanâAsianâAmericanâwoman,âandâasâaâVietnameseâwarârefugee.ââMomâsâpepper-turned-salt,âpinnedâcurls-turned-thinningâhairâisânowâaâsymbolâofâherâwisdomâandâunderstandingâasâsheâsendsâmeâoff,âhopingâthatâIâwillâbringâmyâvibrantâAsianâheritage,âsprinkledâwithâtouchesâofâSouthernâtradition,âtoâBrownâsâcampus.â
Mom,â
YouâareâmyâPRIDE.â
CHERILYN VY VY TRAN â11 is a fighter.
25
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
ObonKenji Morimoto â11
Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
26
NoiseBy Vivian Truong
VIVIAN TRUONG â12 wonders if her ancestors can understand her when sheâs holding incense in her hands and praying in English.
HeâasksâmeâwhyâIâmâsoâquiet.Hisâwordsâareâloudâandâsmiling;âheasksâmeâwhyâthoseChineseâgirlsâneverâtalk.
AndâIâtellâhim:
BoyWhenâIâwalkâIdonâtâjustâmoveâuponâtheâearthâbutwithâeachâstepâImakeâtheâworld
Spin.
SweetiewhenâIâdanceâthesoftâpaddingâofâmyâfeetmakesâtheâground
Tremor.
BabywhenâIâsing,âmyâheartâthrobsâagainstâmyâvoiceâandâImakeâtheâair
Quiver.
AndâhoneyIâmayânotâbetheâloudestâgirlâyouâknowandâIâmayânotâbeoneâtoâscreamâmyâwordsandâIâmayânotâbesomeoneâwhofillsâtheâairâwithâuselessâbabbleâbutâwhenâIâspeak,âyes,whenâIâwhisperâImakeâmen
Listen.
Illustration by Debbie Lai
27
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
MopsDevon Cupery â11Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
28
â Duringâthoseâlong,âhotâsummerâafternoons,âitâwasâtheâchildrenâwhoâdominatedâParañaqueâDrive.âAllâtwentyâchildrenâlivingâwithinâaâtwoâblockâradiusâofâmyâcousinâsâhouseâwouldâgatherâinâtheâmiddleâofâtheâgravelâstreetâforâtumbangâpreso,âaâgameâthatâin-volvedâknockingâdownâaâtinâcanâwithâaâslipper.âTheâintensityâofâtheâgameâwasâmatchedâonlyâbyâtheâpulsatingâsun,âtheâkindâthatâinsistsâonâbeingâperpetuallyâinâoneâsâeyes,âandâtheâthickâdustâstirredâbyâanâoccasionalâbreeze.ââ Noâoneâstoppedâourâgameâorâbotheredâus,ânotâevenâourâmoth-ers,âwhoâstayedâatâhomeâwhileâeachâofâourâfathersâwasâatâhisâhanapâbuhay,âorâjobâ(literally,âsearchâforâlife).âOurâmothersâwouldâhearâeveryâshoutâfromâtheâstreetâandâknowâtoâwhichâchildâeachâvoiceâbelongedâto.âNoneâofâusâcaredâaboutâtheânumerousâscarsâandâscrapesâweâacquiredâbyâtheâendâofâtheâday.âMyâlola,âorâgrand-mother,âwouldâhealâmyâwoundsâwithâboiledâguavaâleavesâwhileâIâtoldâherâmyâdayâsâvictories,âthrills,âandâdefeats.
â Itâseemedâlikeâtheâgameâwouldâgoâonâforâhoursâatâleastâuntilâtheâsunâwentâdown.âApproachingâdarknessâalwaysâsignaledâeachâchildâsâcallingâforâhome.âMyâsiblingsâandâIâwouldâthenâclimbâtoâtheâtopâofâourâtank.âWaterâwasâscarceâandâhadâtoâbeâboughtâinâtheâPhilippines.âMyâfamilyâwasâoneâofâtheâfewâinâtheâneighborhoodâwhoâownedâaâtank,âwhichâstoredâwaterâdeliveredâbyâtruck,âwhileâothersâhadâtoâbuyâwaterâasâneeded.âTheâtankâwasâprobablyâonlyâaâfloorâhigherâthanâourâone-storyâhouse,ânothingâcomparedâtoâtheâskyscrapersâofâtheâcityâIâwouldâsoonâmoveâto,âbutâtoâmyâchildhoodâself,âitâwasâaâsanctuary.âAtâtheâtopâofâthatâtank,âIâwouldâwatchâtheâsunsetâaâbrilliantâdisplay,âtheâbeautyâofâwhichâcanâonlyâbeâseenâfromâtheâearthâsâequator.âMyâsiblingsâandâIâwouldâjokeâaroundâandâteaseâeachâother,âsavoringâtheâdayâsâlastâsunlight,âforâsoonâitâwouldâbeâtheâgrown-upsââturn.
â Allâtheâmenâinâourâneighborhoodâwouldâgatherâinâmyâfamilyâsâhouseâonceâaâweekâtoâeat,âdrink,âandâtalk.âTheyâwouldâsitâaroundâtablesâofâbeerâbottlesâandâslicesâofâmangoâwithâsaltedâfish.âIâneverâreallyâpaidâattentionâtoâtheirâconversations.âAfterâall,âtheyâwereâoldâmen.âButâIâwouldâneverâforgetâtheirâlaughter.âItâwasâmenâsâ
Search for LifeBy Jean Hazel B. Mendozalaughter,âfilledâwithâsnortsâandâgrunts,âaccompaniedâbyâtheâclinkâofâglassâbottlesâonâwood.âAfterâanâhourâorâtwo,âtheyâwouldâallâbeâprettyâdrunk.âTheyâcursedâandâlaughedâaboutâthemselves,âtheirâneighbors,âandâridiculousâevents.âTheyâjokedâasâifâGodâheard,âbutâdidnâtâcareâasâifâGodâhimselfâhadâjoinedâinâonâtheirâfun.
â Meanwhile,âtheâwomenâgossiped,âdebatedâaboutâtheâbestâpreparationâforâcertainâdishes,âboastedâaboutâtheirâchildren,âorâcomplainedâaboutâtheirâhusbands.âIârememberâmyâmotherâonceârecountingâtheâstoryâofâmyâbrotherâsâillness.âWhenâheâhadâbeenâveryâsick,âmyâmotherâcalledâtheâneighborhoodâalbulario,âaâhealerâwhoâwasâalsoâaâsoothsayer.âAfterâstudyingâmyâbrother,âtheâalbu-larioâtookâaâlitâcandleâandâheldâitsâflameâsteadilyâaboveâaâbowlâofâwater.âDropsâofâmeltedâwaxâfellâontoâtheâwaterâsâsurface,âformingâaâfigureâofâaâwomanâwithâaâpointedânoseâandâbroomstick.âWeâwereâterrified,âforâtheâalbularioâannouncedâthatâmyâbrotherâhadâbeenâcursedâbyâaâwitch.âAsâaâcure,âmyâmotherâwasâtoâplaceâaâtowelâsoakedâinâjasmineâwaterâonâmyâbrotherâsâforehead.âMyâbrotherâgotâbetterâaâweekâlater.âTheâotherâwomenâwereâamazedâandâsoonâtheâfloorâaboundedâwithâstoriesâofââencounters.â
â Filipinosâareâaâsuperstitiousâpeopleâwhoâconstantlyâliveâinâfearâofâoffendingâandâsufferingâtheâretributionâofâtheâunseen.âWeâliveâinâaâworldâofâspirits,âdwarves,âwhiteâladiesâ(ghostsâofâladiesâinâwhiteâdresses),âmananangalsâ(witchesâwhoâcanâdetachâtheirâupperâtor-sosâfromâtheirâbodiesâandâflyâaroundâduringâfullâmoonsâtoâdevourâtheâfetusesâofâpregnantâwomen),âandâkapresâ(man-beastsâwhoâsitâonâtreetopsâsmokingâthickâcigars,âwaitingâforâpassersbyâonâwhomâtoâcastâanâevilâspell).âToâFilipinos,âtheseâbeingsâareâreal.âWeâfeelâtheirâpresence,âseeâthem,âareâhauntedâbyâthem,âevenâifâtheyâareâoftenâjustâfragmentsâofâourâimagination,âproductsâofâourâfears.
â Thatâwasâtheârealityâinâwhichâweâlived.âThingsâwereâhardâtoâcomeâby,âevenâwater.âToâusâchildrenâonâthoseâlongâafternoons,âtumbangâpresoâwasânotâmerelyâaâgame,âbutâsomethingâweâheldâontoâasâlongâasâweâcould.âMenâstruggledâinâtheirâhanapâbuhays,âliterallyâsearchingâforâandâtryingâtoâearnâaâlivingâforâtheirâfamilies,âsatâtogetherâafterwards,âandâdrankâtheirâworriesâaway.âWomenâ
29
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
cooked,âraisedâtheirâchildren,âandâtriedâtoâmakeâaâhome.âWithâotherâhousewives,âtheyânotâonlyâhungeredâforâtalesâandâgossip,âbutâalsoâforâhopeâandâfortuneâtoârelieveâtheirâhardships.âThoughâatânightâtheyâfoughtâagainstâspiritsâandâmonsters,âtheirâdailyâbattlesâwereâveryâreal.âTimeâworeâonâlikeâthat,âandâatâtimes,âtheâpeopleâstoppedâsearchingâandâsimplyâlived.
JEAN HAzEL B. MENDOzA â12 prefers to spend her time in cafĂ©s looking for the story in a photograph instead of dividing the universe into a system and the surroundings.
From the Scenic Route (Pagudpud Beach, Illocos Norte, Philippines)Elaine Tamargo â11
Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
30
Untitled Debbie Lai â12 Acrylic Paint on Canvas
31
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
â Aâhalf-heartedâbreezeâmakesâitsâwayâintoâtheâkitchen,âbringingâwithâitâtheâacridâsmellâofâmanureâandâunwashedâbodies.ââPiecesâofâwhatâmightâhaveâbeenâwhiteâwallpaperâmaintainâaâfragileâgripâonâtheâwalls,âstirringâaâlittleâasâIâwalkâby.ââLargeâpatchesâofâchippedâcementâindicateâplacesâwhereâtheâwallpaperâhasâgivenâupâitsâprecariousâholdâentirely.ââAsâIâwipeâtheâaccumulatingâsweatâoffâmyâforeheadâandâupperâlip,âaâdirt-encrustedâdogâslinksâitsâwayâthroughâtheâkitchenâandâintoâtheâroomâwhereâtheâanimalsâareâkept.ââAâgoatâIâmetâonâmyâearlierâtourâofâtheâhouseâbleatsâitsâdisapprovalâatâitsânewâroommate.ââTheârelentlessâsunâhasâstrippedâawayâtheâpaintedâflowersâonâoneâsideâofâtheâstove,âlendingâitâanâoddlyâlopsidedâlook.ââSteamârisingâfromâoneâofâtheâholesâinâtheâstoveâcarriesâwithâitâtheâsweetâsmellâofâfreshlyâcookedârice,âwhichâmixesâwithâtheâscentsâofâsweatâandâdungâinâtheâmuggyâair.â Scanningâtheâfragile,âsplinter-encrustedâtable,âIârealizeâthatâIâhaveâalreadyâforgottenâtheânamesâofâtheârelativesâseatedâaroundâme.ââIâveâevenâforgottenâhowâtheyâreârelatedâtoâme.ââAllâIâknowâisâthatâtheirâhandsâareâhardâandâcallused,âtheirâteethâareâcrookedâandâyellowed,âandâtheirâclothingâconsistsâofâpiecesâofâtorn,âsun-bleachedâclothâcoloredâwithâsweatâstains.â TheâstrappyâsummerâdressâIâhadâdonnedâthatâmorningâinâanâeffortâtoâstaveâoffâtheâheatâandâhumidityâofâsouthernâChineseâsum-mersâsuddenlyâfeelsâuncomfortable.ââTheâlastâtimeâIâworeâitâwasâtoâmyâhighâschoolâgraduation;âperhapsâIâveâgrownâoutâofâitâinâtheâpastâcoupleâofâmonths.ââAllâofâaâsudden,âIânoticeâthatâtheâribbonâaroundâmyâwaistâisâtooâunnecessary,âtheâcutâofâtheâdressâtooâimpractical.ââTheâwhiteâandâblueâpatternâisâtooâwhiteâandâblue;âIâlookâaroundâforâsomeâwayâtoâdirtyâit.ââMyâthroatâclosesâupâforâaâbriefâmomentâwhenâIârealizeâthatâthereâisânoâwayâforâmeâtoâmakeâtheâdressâfitâin.ââMaybeâifâIâofferedâitâtoâoneâofâtheâwomenâatâtheâtableâsheâwouldâexchangeâherâclothesâwithâme.â Myâauntâcousin?âcousinâsâwife?âstretchesââaâbony,âheavilyâsuntannedâarmâtowardâtheâsupplyâofârice.ââAâblackâcloudâofâfliesâbuzzesâintoâtheâair,ârevealingâthatâtheâcoverâofâtheâriceâbarrelâisnâtâblackâbutâbrown.ââSheâscoopsâoutâsomeâofâtheâstickyâwhiteâgrain,âbatsâaâflyâoutâofâherâface,âandâreplacesâtheâcover.âTheâcloudâsettlesâbackâontoâitsâoriginalâperch.â Myâeyesâdriftâtoâmyâmostly-fullâriceâbowl.ââTheâwhiteâgranulesâ
seemâtoâmoveâlethargically,âconvincingâmeâforâalmostâaâfullâminuteâthatâtheyâareâactuallyâhundredsâofâflyâmaggotsâbeforeâmyâbrainâfinallyâcatchesâupâandâscoldsâmyâoveractiveâimagination.ââEvenâthoughâIâmâprettyâpositiveâthatâmyâriceâisâmaggot-free,âIâveâlostâmyâappetite.ââIâlostâitâduringâtheâfirstâdeodorant-lessâhugâIâwasâgivenâwhenâIâwalkedâthroughâtheâdoor.â IâopenâmyâmouthâtoâlieâthatâIâamâfull,âbutâamâforcedâtoâcloseâitâagainâwhenâIârememberâthatâIâcanâtâspeakâmyâfatherâsâdialect.ââIâcanâunderstandâeveryâthirdâword,âbutâspeechâevadesâme.ââTheâwordsâhaveâslippedâawayâwithâmisuseâandâtime,âandânowâtheâonlyâthingâIâknowâisââzai-weiâ:âgood-bye.â MyâdadâhadâspentâmostâofâtheâcarârideâfromâShanghaiâtoâhereâremindingâmeâofâallâtheâphrasesâIâpickedâupâtheâlastâtimeâIâvisitedâhisâhometownâelevenâyearsâago.ââWhenâyouâgoâin,âmakeâsureâyouâsayââmâbaââtoâanyâmaleâwithâwhiteâhairâthereâshouldâbeâtwoâofâthemâandââbiao-guââtoâtheâonesâthatâlookâmyâage.ââQing-maââisâwhatâyouâcallâyourâolderâauntâandâânâniangââisâwhatâyouâcallâyourâyoungerâone.ââTheâolderâoneâisâshorter;âIâknowâitâsâcounterintuitive,âbutâtryâtoârememberâthat.ââIâdonâtâthinkâanyâofâyourâgirlâcousinsâwillâbeâthere,âbutâifâtheyâare,âcallâthemââbiao-jiâ.ââDonâtâbeâsoânervous!ââYouâreâaâgoodâgirl,âevenâifâyouâsayâsomethingâwrong,âtheyâllâstillâlikeâyou.ââIfâworstâcomesâtoâworst,âjustâaddressâthemâinâMandarin.ââTheyâwonâtâunderstand,âbutâitâsoundsâbetterâthanâEnglish.ââAndâofâcourseâyouâstillârememberâhowâtoâsayâhello,âright?ââ âNo.ââ TheâDisturberâofâtheâFliesâlooksâupâfromâwolfingâdownâherâfoodâandâshakesâherâchopsticksâinâmyâgeneralâdirection.ââAâgrainâofâriceâfallsâfromâtheâendâofâherâchopstickâandâontoâaâplateâofâbeanâsprouts.ââNotâevenâwaitingâtoâswallow,âsheâbabblesâsomethingâatâmeâaccusingly,âsmackingâherâthin,âcrackedâlipsâbetweenâwordsâsoâtheâfoodâdoesnâtâfallâoutâofâherâmouth,âââŠeatâŠlittleâŠeatâŠmoreâŠbig!ââ TheânextâthingâIâknow,âsheâhasâdepositedâsomethingâfromâeachâoneâofâtheâeighteenâdishesâintoâmyâbowl.ââMostâofâitâdoesnâtâfitâandâtumblesâoffâtheâsmallâmountainâofâfoodâtoâlandâonâtheâtable.ââSatisfied,âsheâreturnsâtoâherâtaskâofâeatingâasâmuchâasâsheâcanâasâquicklyâasâsheâcan.ââAâstrandâofâlank,âoilyâhairâfallsâintoâherâface.ââSheâthrowsâherâheadâbackâlikeâaâhorse,âremovingâanâunnecessaryâ
Fla-Vor-Ice By Jean GuanUntitled Debbie Lai â12 Acrylic Paint on Canvas
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
32
obstacleâinâtheâpathâfromâherâriceâbowlâtoâherâmouth.â MyâeyelidsâflutterârapidlyâupâandâdownâasâIâwishâfranticallyâforâsomeâwayâtoâgetâoutâofâhavingâtoâeatâeverythingâinâfrontâofâme.ââTheâheatâandâtheâsmellâpreventâmeâfromâthinkingâupâanyâcleverâescapes,âsoâIâresortâtoâcursingâtheâChineseâtraditionâofâstuffingâaâguestâtoâtheâpointâofâburstingâasâaâsignâofâhospitality.ââSwallowingâthickly,âIâpickâupâaâgreenâbeanâgingerly.â Itâactuallyâisnâtâhalfâbad.ââSweatâstreamsâdownâtheâbridgeâofâmyânoseâandâIâonlyâjustâmanageâtoâcatchâitâonâtheâbackâofâmyâhandâbeforeâitâplopsâintoâmyâfood.ââIâtryâaâspicyâbambooâsprout.ââItâmakesâmeâtear,âblurringâtheâseaâofâprematurelyâwrinkledâfacesâwithâdown-turnedâlipsâandâeyesâunusedâtoâsmilingâthatâsurroundsâme.â Unintelligibleâconversationâbattlesâitsâwayâthroughâtheâmuggyâair,âtheâwordsâarrivingâmutedâatâtheirâintendedâears.ââInâanyâotherâweather,âitâwouldâbeâcalledââchatter,ââbutâheatâandâhumidityâneverâlendâthemselvesâtoâchatter.ââAâflyâbuzzesâpastâmyâear,âmakingâmeâswallowâtheâbambooâsproutâbeforeâIâcanâfinishâchewingâit.ââChoking,âIâgrabâtheânearestâbowlâofâwaterâandâdownâit,âspillingâevenâmoreâofâtheâlukewarmâliquidâonâmyselfâthanâIâhaveâsinceâIâfirstâabandonedâmyâsippy-cupâforâaârealâone.ââTheâDisturberâofâtheâFliesâlooksâupâfromâherâbowlâandâguffaws,âpointingâatâtheâfrontâofâmyâdressâandâannouncing,âââŠbabyâŠdrinking!âââTheâtableâeruptsâinâanâoff-keyâchorusâofâcacklesâandâbarksâthatâdisappearsâasâsud-denlyâasâitâbegan.ââIâsmile-grimaceâintoâsuddenâsilence.â Theâwaterâsoaksâintoâtheâcottonâofâmyâdress,âleavingâaâdamp-nessârivaledâonlyâbyâtheâhumidâair.ââEyesâdowncast,âIâpickâupâtheânextâfoodâitemâinâmyâbowl,âintentâonâfinishingâtheâtaskâsetâinâfrontâofâme.ââAsâIâamâaboutâtoâputâitâinâmyâmouth,âsomethingâstopsâme.ââArmâstiffâinâtheâairâinâfrontâofâme,âIâleanâforwardâcross-eyedâtoâinspectâtheâpinkish-orangeâthingâtrappedâbetweenâmyâchopsticks.TheâairâIâwasâbreathingâsticksâinâmyâthroat.ââIâlowerâmyâchopsticks,âuncrossâmyâeyes,âandâverifyâthatâtheâobjectâIâwasâjustâaboutâtoâconsumeâisâwhatâIâthinkâitâis.ââTheâheatâisâsuddenlyâreplacedâbyâaâcold,âclammyâhorror.ââSlowly,âmyâbreathâunsticksâitselfâandârattlesâintoâmyâlungs.ââMyâlimpâhandâdropsâtheâchopsticksâandâtheâpieceâofâshrimpâtheyâhadâbeenâholding.ââEvenâthoughâIâknowâIâmâfineâ
becauseâIâhavenâtâtouchedâtheâshrimp,âIâcanâstillâfeelâmyâthroatâclosingâupâofâitsâownâaccordâandâbeginâtoâseeâredâboilsâformingâallâoverâmyâbody.â NoticingâthatâIâhaveâstoppedâeating,âtheâDisturberâofâtheâFliesâhollersâencouragingly,âââŠsoâgoodâŠeatâŠbestâŠlotsâofâmoney!ââ âIâIâIâmâsorry.âIâmâallergic,ââIâstammerâinâMandarin.â Herâeyesâglazeâoverâandâherâbrowâfurrows.ââSheârapsâmyâdadâonâtheâarmâwithâherâchopsticksâandâdemandsâaâtranslation.Beforeâaâfullâsentenceâisâevenâoutâofâmyâdadâsâmouth,âsheâturnsâbackâtoâmeâandâinsists,ââNotâŠeatâŠisâsad!ââ Iâhavenâtâeatenâtheâshrimp,âbutâmyâthroatâconstrictsâanyway.âââIâmâsoâsorry,ââIârepeatâoverâandâoverâagainâinâMandarin,âasâifâsheâcanâunderstandâwhatâIâamâsaying.â Sheâwavesâherâchopsticksâatâme,âdroppingâanotherâgrainâofâriceâinâtheâbeanâsprouts,âsaysâsomethingâIâcanâtâunderstandâatâall,âandâdisappearsâupâtheâstairs.ââMyâdadâyellsâafterâher,âbutâsheâseemsâtoâignoreâhimâbecauseâheâturnsâbackâtoâmeâandâsays,ââYouâdonâtâhaveâtoâeatâeverythingâsheâgivesâyou.ââ Iâswallowâloudlyâandâslowly,ââIâmâfine,âDad,ââandâforceâaâsmile.Heâraisesâhisâeyebrows,âmakingâhisâforeheadâlookâveryâmuchâlikeânewlyâplowedâland.â âReally.ââ Atâthisâpoint,âtheâDisturberâofâtheâFliesâhasâreturnedâwithâanâarmfulâofâlong,âstick-likeâobjectsâandâaâpairâofâscissors.ââSheâdepositsâthemâinâfrontâofâmeâandâcontortsâherâmouthâintoâaâwide,âyellowedâgrin.ââWrinklesâcreaseâherâcheeks.ââEat!ââ Iâpickâoneâofâtheâsticksâupâandâalmostâdropâitâbecauseâitâsâsoâcold.ââTheâfamilyâmustâhaveâacquiredâaârefrigeratorâinâtheâpastâde-cadeâorâsoâbecauseâIâdonâtârememberâanyâfromâtheâlastâtimeâIâwasâhere.ââUponâcloserâinspection,âtheâsticksâareâactuallyâaâChineseâversionâofâFla-Vor-Ice.ââOnce,âwhenâIâhadâtheâstomachâflu,âmyâmomâaskedâmeâwhatâIâwantedâtoâeatâbecauseâsheâfeltâbadâforâmeâandâIâtoldâherâtoâbuyâanâentireâboxâofâtheâstuff.ââIâripâoffâtheâwrap-pingâandâgrabâtheâscissors,âcuttingâoffâtheâtopâofâtheâplasticâcasingâbeforeâsqueezingâoutâsomeâiceâandâstickingâitâintoâmyâmouth.ââTheâcoolnessâseepsâinâandâmakesâmyâmouthânumb.â TheâDisturberâofâtheâFliesâlaughsâaâscratchyâlaughâandâpro-
33
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
claims,âââŠhappy!âââIâsmile,ânoâdoubtârevealingâthatâtheâartificialâcoloringâhasâalreadyâdyedâmyâentireâmouthâblue.ââCuriousâasâtoâtheâflavorâofâmyâsnack,âIâpickâupâtheâwrapperâandâinspectâit.ââSheâseesâwhatâIâamâdoingâandâquicklyâsnatchesâitâoutâofâmyâhand,âbutânotâbeforeâIâseeâthatâitâwasâtwoâyuan.ââOfâcourseâthatâonlyâtranslatesâintoâaâlittleâmoreâthanâaâquarterâinâtheâU.S.,âbutâthatâsâexpensiveâforâaâbitâofâflavoredâiceâinâChina.ââIâamâremindedâofâthisâasâIâtakeâinâmyâsurroundingsâtheâwaxâpaperâinâplaceâofâglassâforâwindowsâandâtheâdirtâthatâfunctionsâasâflooring.ââIâlookâatâtheâlastâbitâofâFla-Vor-Iceâthatâhasâalreadyâmeltedâinâtheâheat.ââMyâthroatâfeelsâstickyâfromâallâtheâsyrupâandâsugar,âandâIâswallowâthickly.ââTheâdogâslinksâbackâintoâtheâkitchen,âbringingâtheâsmellâofâdecay-ingâfecalâmatterâwithâhim.ââIâveâlostâmyâappetiteâagain.ââIâbiteâmyâlipâandâcloseâmyâeyes,âhopingâthatâwhenâIâopenâthem,âthingsâwillâbeâbetter.ââTheyâarenât.â Finishedâwithâhisâfood,âmyâdadâyawnsâwidelyâandâinformsâfirstâme,âthenâeveryoneâelseâthatâheâwillâbeâgoingâupstairsâtoâtakeâaânapâbecauseâheâisâsoâjetlagged.ââIâshrugâmyâconsent.ââHisâfamilyâushersâhimâupâtheâstairsâwithâsmilesâandâlaughedâwords,âveryâfewâofâwhichâIâcanâreallyâunderstand.â TheâFla-Vor-Iceâfallsâoutâofâmyâhandâandâlandsâonâmyâdress.âIâveâgottenâmyâwish;âmyâclothesâareânowâdirtyâlikeâeveryoneâelseâs.ââButâitâdoesnâtâhelp.ââTheâcombinationâofâsugarâandâsweatâseepsâintoâtheâclothâofâmyâdry-clean-onlyâdress,âleavingâbehindâpatchesâofâsugar-stiffenedâclothâandâyellowishâfabric.ââTheâemptyâFla-Vor-Iceâcasingâsitsâonâtopâofâtheâunconqueredâmoundâofâfoodâinâfrontâofâme,âmockingâmeâforânotâbeingâableâtoâfinishâit.ââMyâthroatâclosesâupâforâwhatâseemsâlikeâtheâhundredthâtimeâthatâday,âbutâthisâtime,âtearsâmixâwithâtheâsweatâonâmyâface,âandâIâpushâawayâfromâtheâtable.ââMumblingââzai-wei,ââIâwalkâupâtheâsameâsetâofâstairsâmyâdadâtook,âtrailingâtheâstenchâofâmanureâandâChineseâfoodâbehindâme.â
JEAN GUAN â11 is scared of her pyromaniac roommate that likes to burn Waffles.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
34
DearâYou,
Weâneedâtoâtalk.YahââŠâthatâawkwardâtalkWithâwordsâthatâfinallyâescapedâthisâdenseâbrainâofâmine
PeopleâtalkâaboutâwallsâandâfortressesâofâiceâtoâthoseâwithâtheâsolidâfacesToâthoseâwhoseâheartsâareânotâstrongâenoughâforâtheâworldIâamânotâthem,âandâIâamânotâtheâworld.IâwillâtalkâJell-OTheâoneâwithâtheârightâamountâofâgrapeâflavorâtoâmakeâmeâsweetAndâjustâthickâenoughâtoâkeepâmeâsafe
IâmânotâwhoâyouâthoughtâIâwasThereâsâmoreâtoâmeâthanâmyâfamilyMoreâthanâtheâmessâtheyâmadeâmeIâwonâtâapologizeâfromâwithinâthisâtangledâprisonâforânotâtalkingMyâsilenceâisâmyâfortitudeSoâIâwillâsitâhereâandâorganizeâinâmyâquietMakingâsenseâofâtheâloveâofâmyâparentsâwithâtheâloveâforâmyselfInâthisâfallenâJengaâpileâIâllâfindâwhatâitâmeansâtoâbeâfamily
ItsâstoriesâandâteachingsâtraceâwispyâpatternsâonâmyâskinTattooingâlessonsâintoâeveryâscarâandâbruiseWithâmoralsâthatâyouâcouldnâtâgraspâbecauseâtheyâarenâtâyoursMoralsâthatâyouâwouldnâtâgraspâbecauseâtheyâwerenâtâyours
IâmayânotâalwaysâloveâmyâfamilyOrâtheirâmoralsâandâfoundationsâYetâaâwell-meaningâheartâwithâedgesânotâsoârefinedâHoldsâmeâmoreâthanâtheâcoldâbedâyouâleftâbehindSoâIâprideâmyselfâinâknowingâthatâIâamâoneâofâthem
Dear JournalBy Michael Enriquez
NotâanâAmericanâbecauseâIâliveâinâAmericaWhy?BecauseâIâamâFilipinoThatâmakesâmeâtheâSonâofâmyâpapaSonâofâmyâmomBrotherâofâmyâAteandKuyaâofâmyâbrotherTheyâmayânotâknowâmeâasâmuchâasâyouâdidâbutâwhoâsâstillâhere?Watchingâmeâgrow.
ItâsâhardâtoâgrowâWhenâyouâwantâtoâchangeWhenâyouâveâchangedâtooâmuchWhenâyouâcanâtâchangeâfastâenoughWhenâyouâreâforcedâtoâchangeAndâwhenâyouâjustâreally,âreallyâfuckingâdonâtâknow
SoânoâŠâIâdidânotâappreciateâwhenâyouâinferredâfromâthatâstereotype
âItâwouldnâtâworkââcauseâyouâreâAsian.AndâAsiansâjustâdonâtâcommunicateâfeelingsâwellâ
ButâIâmânot,âyouâknowâŠjustâthatThatâlabel,âthatâboy,âthatâwhateverâyouâcareâtoâinsertâhere.â<<ââââ>>IâamâŠâIâamâhappyâbeingâwhoâIâamSoâIâchooseâmyâârefugeââandâdiscardâyours
MICHAEL ENRIQUEZ â11 is currently growing that part that lets you speak what you think in a pot back home.
35
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
A Geisha in Disguise?Melanie Chow â11
Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
36
Running through a mazeDevon Cupery â11
Digital Photography
37
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Tsunami
HeâleavesâaâtrackâthroughDampâmorningâsand,DraggingâtheâvesselâInâtheâsaltyâlightâofâSunday.HisâwhiteâbeardâcollectsGrainsâandâfliesâandâtheâtasteâofâtheâsea.Oldâfriends,âtheâman,âandâtheâboatâShuffleâendlesslyâdownâtheâshore.Whiteâpaint,âweather-worn,CrackingâoffâseasonedâplanksâAsâheâknitsâhisâancientâwhiteâbrowsAtâtheâsightâofâtheâwatersTooâcalmâforâtheâbeatingâinâhisâveins.ââ *â*â*
BellsâpealâinâanâinfiniteâcadenceâofâsalvationCallingâtheâwayfarersâhomeâtoârestInâtheâwitheredâhandsâofâlong-toldâtalesToâreachâasâtheâsteepleâtowardsâtheâpeacefulâskyAsâifâitâholdsâsomeâsecretâknowledgeâofâwhatâisâtoâcome.ReverberatingâthroughâtheirâmarrowThroughâtheâpolishedâpewsCraftedâlovinglyâofâsea-bonedâdriftwoodTheâjoyfulâvibrationsâpullâatâtheâveryâwatersâofâtheirâbloodAndâtheyâbowâtheirâheadsâinâprayer.
â *â*â*
TwentyâmetersâtooâsoonâheâreachesâtheâedgeTheâsinisterâwetnessâofâaâtideârisingTowardsâtheâemptyâskyâslipsâin.Anklesâlapped,âtoesâsubmergedAndâinâhisâpanicâheâhasâdroppedTheârope.HeâwatchesâhisâboatâdancingAsâtheâwatersâbeginâgentlyâtoâfroth,ThenâwhipsâaroundâtoâstareâInâtheâdirectionâofâhisâsisters,âkneelingâblindâbehindâStainedâglass,Searchingâforâsomeâreasonâtoâbe.
â *â*â*
TheâpriestâsâwrinkledâelbowârestsâonâtheâpulpitAsâheâremindsâthemâofâtheirâwrathfulâGodHowâheâwroughtâuponâhisâsinfulâandâwar-makingâpeopleAâpurgeâsuchâthatâforâfortyânightsTheâmoonâwasâmadeâtoârelinquishâHerâholdâuponâtheâtides.YetâasâsheâweptâinâaâcornerâofâtheâskyForâherâlostâdaughtersOneâmanâandâhisâsonsâboardedAnâarkâaboveâtheâarchingâwaves.Caretakersâofâtheâbeingsâthatâwouldârebirthâtheâworld,TheyârodeâtheâfloodâtoâitsâextinctionAndâfoundâtheâwaterâandâtheâlandâonceâagainSleepingâpeacefullyâsideâbyâside.âGodâwillânotâtolerateâwar,âinjustice,âdeceit.Heâwillâcleanseâtheâworldâofâsin.ThereforeâmakeâpeaceâwithâyourâneighborSoâthatâyouâneedânotâaskâwhoâwillâfloatAndâwhoâwillâswimâinâvain.â
â *â*â*
By Rachel Economy
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
38
Hokusai Revisited Han Yang Lee â12
Pen and Acrylic
39
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Heâisârunning.TheâboatâfloatsâforgottenâOnâtheânowâroilingâtide.HisâvoiceâripsâfromâhisâthroatâToâsoarâupâtheâhillâwindDrowningâoutâtheâechoesâofâChurchâbellsInâaâdesperateâwarningâcry.Behindâhim,âtheâseepingâsaltâtearsâofâtheâmoonRiseâanotherâmeterâupâtheâbeach.
â *â*â*
TheirâglassâhavenâshatteredâbyâtheâsoundsOfâoneâmanâsâanguishedâyells,ChurchgoersâturnâinâconfusionâAsâtheâwoodenâdoorâslamsâopenâagainstTheâwall.Hingesâstrainingâtoâsaveâitâfromâfalling,âfalling.FiveâminutesâstreakâbyâbeforeâHisâwordsâpermeateâtheânowâpanic-swampedâroom.âItâisâcoming,âitâisâcoming,Noneâwillâbeâspared.â
â *â*â*
TheâsandyâgravelâofâeonsâfallsâawayâinâchunksBeneathâfeetâbothâbareâandâshodCrumblingâasâtheirâhope.SoulsâtornâapartâbyâtheâcriesâOfâtheâchildrenâonâtheirâshoulders,Theyâscrambleâthroughâtheâscrub.Rocksâmasqueradingâasâstable,âsolid,UnchangingâearthShiftâasâtheyâclimbâtowardsâTheâsalvationâofâshelterâhighâaboveTheâhungryâsea.NoneâtakeâtimeâtoâlookâbackâandâwatchAsâSheâravishesâtheâhelplessâdunes.
â *â*â*
TheâbalanceâofâeverythingâhangsâInâtheâtempleâonâtheâhill,InâtheâliltingâswingâofâtheâgongAsâitâtwistsâinâtheâshiftingâwindTheâancientâpeaceâhighâaboveTheâangryâfrothingâlipsâofâtheâwavesWaitsâonâanâintakeâofâbreath.AâworldâstopsâasâtheyâwatchTheirâbrothersâandâsistersMountingâtheâshale-strewnâhillsideScramblingâtowardsâtheâsameâGodHiddenâwithinâaâdifferentâbook.
*â*â*
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
40
Inâaâdistantâland,âtheâwar-makersAreâparchedâforâlackâofâwater.TheyâfightâheedlesslyâonSpillingâtheâsameâcolorâbloodâinâeveryâdirection.â
*â*â*
TheâgiveâandâtakeâofâseaâdevouringâshoreSoundsâinâaâdiscordantâringingEchoingâacrossâtheâdunesBroadcastingânotesâofâpowerIntoâtheâsoulsâofâwrenchinglyâhumbledâbeingsStrewnâacrossâtheâindifferentâlandHelplessâagainstâthisâforce.SheâisâtheirâGodâandâtheirâhell.ButâatopâtheâsacredâhillJoinedâbeyondâhate,âbeyondâreasonBeyondâtheâworshippedâwordsâofâancientâmenSitâtheâBuddhistsâandâtheâCatholicsAndâtheâwhite-beardedâmanWonderingâatâtheâfloodsâthatâGobbleâtheâsleepingâsand.Aboveâtheâraging,âheavingâwatersTheyâfeelâasâifâtheyâfloatAndâtheyâbowâtheirâheadsâtoâaâjourneyâsâbeginningAndâtheâendingâofâaâworld.
â
RACHEL ECONOMY â10 enjoys writing poems in the vicinity of tea.
41
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Chasing LightBy VyVy Trinh
i.ââ Weâhadâaâdeckâinâtheâbackyardâmadeâofâwood.âLong,âthinâplanksâlayâparallelâlikeâpopsicleâsticksâandâstretchedâoverâtheâbrightâlawnâlikeâtheâdeckâofâaâship.âInâsummer,âMaiâandâIâwouldâjumpâropeâbarefootâonâtheâdeck,âtip-toeingâlightlyâandâsquealingâwithâdelightedâpainâasâtheâballsâofâourâfeetâtouchedâtheâwood,âwhichâdrankâtheâsunâandâstoredâtheâheatâinâitsâwrinkles.âAsâtheâsunâmeltedâbehindâtheâhills,âtheâdeckâwouldâcool,âandâwe,âfatiguedâandâsweatyâfromâswingingâandâskippingârope,âwouldâlieâinâtheâgrowingâsliverâofâshadeâcastâbyâtheâedgeâofâtheâroofâofâourâhouse,âlisteningâtoâtheâhushedâbuzzing,âtheânoisyâfrictionâofâwingsâagainstâwings,âtheâcreakingâofâunseenâcreaturesâclickingâintoâtheâdarkeningâduskâthatâsettledâonâourâcornerâofâtheâworldâlikeâpaintâslidingâdownâtheâsurfaceâofâtheâsky.ââ Atânightâweâsprawledâourselvesâoutâonâtheâdeckâlikeâragâdolls,âlyingâonâourâbacksâandâlookingâupâintoâtheâglowâofâtheâpaperâlan-ternsâdanglingâaboveâusâfromâwiresâstrungâacrossâpoles,âwingedâcreaturesâflutteringâinâswarmsâtowardâtheirâradiance.âWeâcouldâlieâthereâforâhours,âwatchingâtheâmothsâspasticallyâorbitâtheâlittleâlamps,âchasingâlightâlikeâdreams.âWeâpressedâourâbare,âthinâarmsâagainstâtheâcooledâwood,âhopingâforâanâoccasionalâbreeze.ââ Theâspectacleâofâtheâmothsâdancingâaboutâtheâlanterns;âtheâsil-verâpinpricksâofâstarsâsplashedâacrossâtheâsky;âtheâweightyâheatâofâtheâairâpressingâagainstâtheâcold,âdarkâwood;âtheseâwereâourâref-ugesâinâtheâsummer,âthatâbrokenâseasonâwhenâourâparentsâwouldâchange,âsmilesâdeterioratingâintoâhollowâglances,âsolidâposturesâcollapsingâintoâfaces,âwet,ârestingâinâhands.âMaiâandâIâcouldnâtâbeâinâthatâhouseâwhereâMaâwouldâlockâherselfâupâinâtheirâbedroomâallâdayâandâDadâwouldâjoinâherâasâsoonâasâheâreturnedâhomeâfromâwork,âwhereâtheâairâitselfâbecameâheavierâwithâtheâsharedâmemoryâofâanâabsentâdaughter,âwhereâtheâwallpaperâbeganâtoâsmellâofâtheâdustâleftâonâtheâfurnitureâasâMaâstoppedâmaintainingâtheâhouse.âTheâbackyardâwasâourâescape.â Splintersâwereâaâpartâofâeveryâsummer,âandâsoâwereâmoths,âandâlight,âandâheat,âandâquietness,âdashedâbyâtheâthroatyâmatingâcallsâofâcrickets.âMaâsâtightenedâthroat,âandâDadâsâpreoccupiedâgazeârenderedâMaiâandâmeâasâinvisibleâasâtheâghostsâthatâhauntedâus.âLockedâbedroomâdoorsâandâtheâsoundsâofâdistortedâcryingâ
fromâtheirâroomâaboveâus,âwhichâIâlaterâsuspectedâwasânotâcryingâbutâsecret,âlovingâmoans,âandâwhichâIânowâknowâwasâboth.âThatâwasâmyâcoming-of-age,âIâguess.âRealizingâmyâparentsâwereânotâjustâmyâmomâandâdadâbutâindividualsâwhoâhadâtheirâownâchild-hoods,âtoo,âandâtheirâownâpreoccupations.âDiscoveringâthatâtheyâdidânotâjustâcreateâmeâoneâpredestinedânightâbutâthatâtheyâstillâfucked,âandâcried,âlikeâkids.âOnceâwhenâIâwasâeleven,âmyâfriendâByrdâtoldâmeâwhatâanâaphrodisiacâwasâlikeâstrawberriesâandâclams,âheâsaid.âAndâsummer,âandâgrief,âIâsaid.
ii.ââ MyâbirthâwasâaâbyproductâofâVanâsâdeathâandâmarkedâtheâbeginningâofâmyâfamilyâsâcallingâitâsuch,âcallingâitâherâdeath.âUntilâIâslitheredâfromâmyâmotherâsâwombâandâintoâtheâshadowâofâVanâsâabsence,âmyâfamilyâhadâbeenâreferringâtoâtheâincident,âonâtheârareâoccasionsâtheyâmentionedâitâatâall,âasâherââvanishing.âââBecauseâthatâsâwhatâitâwas,ââMaiâtoldâmeâwhenâIâwasâsix.ââSheâwentâintoâtheâseaâandâvanished.ââ Thisâisâmyâimaginedâtruth:âTheânightâafter,âmyâparentsâsatâinâsilenceâonâtheâoppositeâsidesâofâtheirâhotelâroom.âMaâsatâatopâaâwoodenâwindowâseat,âforeheadâpressedâagainstâtheâcoolâglass,âeyesâonâtheâmoonlitâsandâoutside.âTheâcoldâglassânumbedâherâface,âandâmyâmotherâcouldâonlyâsitâthere,âfightingâanâurgeâtoâcloseâherâhandâintoâaâfistâandâthrustâitâintoâtheâglassâandâbeyond.âSheâimaginedâtheâshardsâthatâwouldâcascadeâbackâtowardâher,âdrenchingâherâskinâinâitsâownâredness.âDadâsatâonâtheâedgeâofâtheâbed,âfacingâtheâoppositeâwall,âholdingâtheâedgeâofâtheâunfamiliar,âsterileâblanketâandâtryingâhisâhardestâtoâtearâit.âAndâthen,âwithâaâcosmicâsimultaneity,âtheyâturnedâaround,âmetâeachâotherâsâeyes,âandârushedâatâeachâother,âandâmyâdad,âtransferringâhisâburgeon-ingâpainâfromâtheâblanketâtoâmyâmotherâsâclothing,ârentâapartâmyâmotherâsâshirtâatâtheâbuttons,âtoreâdownâherâjeans,âcastâthemâviolentlyâaside.âAsâtheyâfuckedâwithâanâunprecedentedâurgency,âmyâmomâclenchedâherâfingersâintoâaâfistâandâpoundedâwithâallâherâstrengthânotâtheâcoolâwindowâbutâmyâdadâsâhotâback,âreachingâaroundâhisâtorsoâasâitâlayâatopâherâandâpunchingâhisâsmooth,âpaleâbackâwithâsuchâforceâthatâitsâsoundâechoedâinâherâsoul.âEntangledâinâoneâanotherâsâarmsâandâinâtheirâownâsnotâandâtearsâandâbloodâ
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
42
andâsweat,âmyâparentsâpushed,âpressed,âandâwailed.âItâwasâtheirâway,âandâitâwouldâbeâuntilâoldâage,âpeakingâinâsummers,âtheâan-niversaryâofâVanâsâvanishing.â Whatâtheyâmadeâwasânotâloveâbutârage,âharshârage,âagainstâtheâocean,âtheâstupidlyâhelplessâpolice,âandâthemselves.âTheyâsoughtâsolaceâinâoneâanotherâsâhardness,âtheirâsolidâflesh,âandâtheâpres-sureâtheyâcouldâexertâonâoneâanotherâlikeâaâgreat,âcarnalâstressâball.âItâwasâalwaysâviolentâlikeâstorms,âorâfistfights,âandâIâwishâthatâthereâwasâaâwordâbetweenââfuckââandââloveââthatâIâcouldâuse,âthatâwhenâIâdescribedâthemâasâfucking,âtheyâdidnâtâsoundâlikeâdrunkenâteenagersâslidingâinâandâoutâofâeachâotherâinâtheâbackâofâaâbor-rowedâcar.âButâmaybeâthereâsâsomeâsenseâinâlinkingâthem,âevenâtangentially,âtoâyoung,âconfusedâkidsâinâbackseats.âInâtheâwakeâofâVanâsâdisappearance,âtheyâwereâreducedâtoâchildren,âtoâfools.âTheyâlostâtheirâfootingâand,âlikeâkids,âhadâfacesâofâdisbeliefâasâtheyâengagedâinâtheirâbodilyâescape.â Iâwasâtheâchild,âliterally,âofâthisâcarnalâmourning.âMyâconceptionâcouldâhaveâonlyâbeenâaâsurpriseâtoâmyâparents,ânotâbecauseâtheyâwereâforty-threeâandâforty-fiveâatâtheâtimeâbutâbecauseâtheâideaâofâhavingâanotherâchildâtoâreplaceâtheirâlostâoneâwasâimpossible.âToâmoveâforwardâwithâoneâsâlife,âtoâbringâlifeâintoâaâhouseholdâofâdeath,âwasâtoâabandonâyourâlittleâgirlâsâbodyâinâtheâsand.â ButâofâcourseânoâoneâinâmyâfamilyâhadâeverâseenâVanâsâbodyâinâtheâsand.âSheâleftâbehindânoâsuchâtraceâwhenâsheâvanished,âatâleastânotâinâtheâimmediateâaftermath,âexceptâforâlittleâsandal-printsâleadingâtowardâtheâsea.âAtânight,âtheâwindâsweptâoverâthemâgently,âfillingâtheâslipper-shapedâgroovesâsoâthatâbyâsunriseâitâseemedâtheyâwereâneverâthereâatâall.
iii.â Asâaâkid,âIâlearnedâallâtheâimmutableâfactsâthatâallâkidsâlearned,âandâmore.âSharingâisâcaring,âsmokingâisânasty,âdogsâsayâwoofâandâpigsâsayâoink,âtheâPilgrimsâandâSquantoâstartedâThanksgiving,âandâonceâyouâhadâaâsisterâcalledâVan.âSheâdied,âbutâsheâisâalwaysâwithâus.âMa,âDad,âandâMaiâhadâallâenduredâaâparalyzingâloss,âwhereasâIâhadâinheritedâitâlikeâaâpieceâofâfamilyâlore.âIâwillâpassâitâon,âtoo,âtellingâmyâchildrenâinâtheâfutureâofâtheirâlateâAuntâVan,âorâDĂŹ Van,âasâoneâwouldâsayâinâmyâmotherâsâlanguage.âMaiâwillâdoâtheâsame,â
butâherâstoriesâwillâbeâdifferentâquieter,âsomehow,âandâharderâtoâreelâoutâofâher.âAsâsheâwroteâtoâmeâonceâinâaâletterâfromâcollege,ââWeâgrewâupâinâdifferentâworlds,âLan.âIâgrewâupâinâaâworldâwhereâVanâwasâalwaysâthere,âandâyouâgrewâupâinâaâworldâwhereâsheâwasâgone.ââ Sheâwasâusingâtheâtermââgrewâupââloosely,âasâsheâwasâonlyâfive,âalmostâsix,âwhenâVanâdisappeared,âandâsevenâwhenâIâwasâborn.âSheâtellsâmeâherâmemoriesâofâVanâhaveâfadedâintoâaâcloudyâcollageâofâlittleâfingers,âinterlocked,âofâgamesâofâprincess-and-princeâinâwhichâMaiâwasâinvariablyâtoldâtoâplayâprince,âofâswimmingâtogetherâinâlightâblueâpoolsâwhileâwearingâbrightâorangeâinflatableâfloaties.âButâevenâofâtheseâsnippetsâofâmemory,âsheâisâunsureâwhichâareâtrulyâhersâandâwhichâhaveâjustâbeenâgleanedâfromâtheâfuzzyâreelsâofâoldâhomeâvideosâcapturedâwithâtheâshaky,âamateurâhandâofâourâDadâbeforeâtheâdayâaâdeeperâshakinessâtookâhimâoverâcompletely.âIâoftenâwonderâwhatâitâmustâhaveâbeenâlikeâtoâbeâMaiâatâageâfive,âlearningâaboutâmortalityâalongsideâotherâlessonsâofâreadingâtwo-syllableâwordsâandâtellingâtime.ââ TheâwinterâIâwasâtwelve,âMaiâcameâhomeâforâChristmasâafterâherâfirstâsemesterâatâcollege,âwildlyâinâlove.âNotâwithâaâboyâorâaâgirlâbutâwithâaâhistory,âaâpollutedâoneâofâwarâandâbeautyâandâuprisingsâandâimperialismâandâpeace.âSheâwasâinâloveâwithâVietnam.âThatâChristmasâseason,âwhileâMaâcookedâdinner,âMaiâwouldâsitâonâtheâkitchenâcounterâpressingâMaâforâmoreâstoriesâofâtheâwar,âaskingâherâtoâteachâherâmoreâVietnameseâwords,âplanningâherâsummerâtripââbackââtoâVietnam,âandâseizingâanyâopportunityâtoârollâherâeyesâandâcomplainâbitterlyâofâcommunism.âAtâtheâdinnerâtable,âsheâpraisedâourâmotherâsâcookingâmoreâthanâusualâandâcom-plainedâaboutâhowâimpossibleâitâwasâtoâfindâVietnameseâfoodâinâherâcollegeâtownâandâhowâtheâspicy,âfruit-ladenâflavorsâofâVietnamâtrumpedâtheâbland,âfatteningâAmericanâfoodâservedâinâherâcafete-ria.â Bewildered,âIâaskedâherâoneânightâwhyâsheâwasâsuddenlyâob-sessedâwithâVietnam.âSheâreplied,ââBecauseâweâliveâinâaâculturallyâimperialist,âwhite-normativeâcountryâwhereâtheâpressureâtoâas-similateâisâaâsystemâofâoppression,âandâIâmâtiredâofâit.ââIâshruggedâandâwalkedâaway.âForâme,âVietnamâhadâalwaysâexistedâinâmyâperiphery,âespeciallyâbecauseâweâwereâmixedâwithâChineseâonâmyâ
43
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Who Says Cambodians Canât Break Dance?Caitlin Ho â10Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
44
dadâsâside.âYetâIâspentâmyâtwelfthâChristmasâlisteningâtoâherârapidâtalkâofâtracingâherârootsâandâofâself-definition.âSheâwasâchasingâourâfamilyâsâghosts,âtakingâourâmotherâs,âgrandparentsâ,âandâances-torsââtruthsâasâherâown,âsearchingâforâherâhistory.âSheâstillâis.ââ Maiâdigsâthroughâwhatâisâleftâofâourâmotherâsâphotographs,âletters,âandâjournals,âhopsâplanesâtoâSaigon,âstudiesâVietnamese,âsearchesâtoâfillâtheâgapingâholeâthatâstandsâbetweenâherâandâtruth.âMe,âIâunearthâold,âunlabeledâVHSâtapes,âsitâinâtheâdarkâandâwatchâtheâpastâunfoldâitselfâagainâandâagain,âandâsiftâthroughâarchivesâofâdecades-oldâphotographs.âMyâfavoriteâvideoâclipâisâaâmereâeightâsecondsâofâVanâandâMaiâsittingâinâtheâbackârowâofâaâcar,âMaiâasleepâonâVanâsâlap,âVanâsâsteadyâhandâpattingâdownâherâsmoothâblackâhair.âVanâwhispersâtoâmeâtheâwayâVietnamâdoesâtoâMai,âourâimaginedâmemoriesâofâthemâpullingâourâheartsâlikeâoceanâwaterâtoâtheâmoon,âorâmothsâtoâlight.
iv.â LikeâmanyâlittleâgirlsâgrowingâupâinâsuburbanâAmerica,âNancyâDrewâcoloredâmyâworld.âTheâglossy,âblondeâgirl-sleuthâspokeâtoâmeâparticularlyâbecauseâmyâownâlifeâhadâalwaysâbeenâdefinedâbyâtheâmysteryâofâtheâmissingâsister.âCuriosityâdroveâmeâforâotherâthanâtheâoneâtimeâMaiâhadâtoldâmeârandomly,âinâtheâmiddleâofâtheânight,âthatâuntilâIâwasâbornâDadâandâMaâhadâcalledâitâaâvanishingâratherâthanâaâdeath,âIâknewânoâdetails.ââ âHowâdidâVanâdie?ââIâaskedâmyâmotherâonce.â âSheâvanished.ââ âHowâdidâsheâvanish?ââ âSheâdied.ââ TheâsummerâBenjaminoâByrdâintroducedâtoâmeâtheâconceptâofâtheâaphrodisiac,âheâandâIâwalkedâfromâhisâhouseâtoâtheâpublicâlibrary.âAâtalkative,âwide-eyedâboyâwithâblack-brownâskinâandâaâcloudâofâblackâhair,âByrdâwasâmyâbestâfriendâforâyears.âHeâwasâtheâonlyâpersonâwhoâknewâofâmyâchildhoodâsearchâforâtheâtruthâaboutâVan,âandâheâhelpedâmeâloyally.âWeâalwaysâworkedâtogether,âorâasâByrdâalwaysâsaid,ââWeâwasâinâcahoots.ââAtâtheâlibrary,âByrdâtookâholdâofâtheâfirstâavailableâcomputerâandâloggedâontoâaânewspaperâdatabaseâwhileâIâwatched.âInâtheâsearchâbox:âVanessaâTran.â Theseâwereâtheâfacts,âtuckedâneatlyâintoâheadlines:ââREMAINSâ
SUSPECTEDâTOâBELONGâTOâMISSINGâSANâMATEOâGIRL.ââAndââDNAâTESTSâCONFIRMâBODYâOFâMISSINGâBAYâAREAâCHILD.âââAndââFAMILYâGRIEVESâOVERâCHILDâCORPSE,âEX-PECTSâNEWâDAUGHTER.âââ Andâtheseâwereâtheâphrasesâthatâinkedâthemselvesâintoâmyâconsciousness:ââclosingâoffâtheâsearchâareaââandâânegligenceââandââinvestigatingâtheâpossibilityâofâfoulâplay.âââ AndâthisâisâwhatâIâlearned:âSheâwasâfound,âmonthsâlater,âwashedâupâatâaâbeachâthreeâmilesâsouthâofâtheâbeachâmyâfamilyâhadâbeenâatâthatâday.âAllâtheâbeachesâwereâconnected,âofâcourse,âbelongingâtoâoneâlongâcoast,âandâtheâtideâdidâpullâtowardâtheâsouth.âButâtheâappearanceâofâherâbodyâatâaâdifferentâbeach,âsoâfarâfromâtheâoneâwhereâsheâvanished,âmayâhaveâalsoâpointedâtoâfoulâplay,âoneâarticleâinformedâme.â Iâstoppedâreadingâthenâandâshutâdownâtheâcomputer.âItâwasâtheâsolidnessâofâtheâarticles.âTheâflesh.âTheâfinality.âTheâimageâofâherâtissueâdamaged,âdecayed,âdiscovered,âdissolvedâintoâdust.âIâhadâneverâthoughtâofâtheseâthings.âMyâfamilyâhadâalwaysâusedâtheâwordââvanished,ââwhichâcausedâmeâtoâimagineâherâsoftlyâslippingâintoâanotherâdimensionâofâtheâworld.âAâpartâofâmeâhadâsecretlyâthoughtâsheâmightâactuallyâbeâaliveâandâthatâmaybe,âinâaâstrange,âunconsciousâway,âmyâparentsâhadâgivenâbirthâtoâmeâsoâthatâIâmightâconductâtheâsearchâthatâtheyâwereâtooâfatiguedâandâhope-lessâtoâdo.â ByrdâandâIâleftâtheâlibraryâandâwalkedâhomeâinâaâfragileâsilenceâthatâpartâofâmeâstillâhasnâtâbroken,âaâsilenceâwhichâisâaâsortâofâswal-lowingâofâghosts.âIâunderstoodâmyâparentsââquietnessânow,âandâmyâsisterâs.âIâstoppedâreadingâNancyâDrew,âstoppedâfancyingâmyselfâaâdolled-upâdetective.âIâlayâawakeâatânightâforâtwoânightsâinâaârowâandâonâtheâthird,âafterâMaiâhadânoddedâoffâtoâsleep,âwhisperedâtoâVanâinâtheâdark,âimaginingâhowâsheâmightâhaveâresponded.âIâfellâasleepâdreamingâofâaâdream,âanâoldâfilmâreelâreplayingâinâmyâheadâofâherâandâMaiâspinningâwildlyâonâourâdeck.
v.â EveryâsummerâMaiâandâIâgoâbackâtoâourâoldâhomeâtoâvisitâourâparentsâduringâourâbreaksâfromâteaching.âItâsâasâifâaâtacit,âinnateâcallingâpullsâusâtowardâhomeâeveryâyearâwhenâtheâairâgetsâthickâ
45
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
withâheat,âandâtheâsunâdoesnâtâmeltâawayâuntilâeight,âandâaâquietâsymphonyâofâwingsâescalatesâinâtheâbushes.âMyâfamilyârevolvesâaroundâtheâsummer,âtheâseasonâofâvanishingâandâfucking,âandâweâspendâtheâotherânineâmonthsâwaningâawayâfromâsummerâorâwaxingâtowardâit.â SometimesâIâawakeâinâtheânightâwithâtheâwordsââfoulâplayâârun-ningâacrossâmyâlipsâandâvagueâimagesâofâfaceless,âbeardedâmenâwhomâIâregardâwithâacidicâhatredâduringâtheâtimesâIâcanâtâconvinceâmyselfâitâwasâtheâundertowâthatâmightâhaveâtakenâmyâsister.âMoreâgnawingâthanâtheânightmaresâareâtheâmindâgames,âtheâcreepingâillogicâofâmyâloveâforâtheâbigâsisterâIâneverâknew.âTheâmindâgameâstartsâoutâwithâmyâwonderingâifâVanâandâIâwouldâhaveâbeenâplay-fulâtogetherâandâthenârealizingâonceâagainâthatâsuchâaâquestionâmakesânoâsense.âWouldâIâhaveâbeenâbornâifâVanâhadânotâdied?âDoâVanâsâdeathâandâmyâbirthâhaveâsomeâsortâofâcausalârelationship?âIfâoneâlooksâatâtheâconfoundingâmetaphysicsâofâtheâquestion,âisâitâimpossibleâforâVanâandâmeâtoâexistâtogether?ââ Becauseâtheseânightmaresâandâmindâgamesâpeakâinâtheâsum-mers,âlikeâmyâparentsââwailingâonceâdid,âIâamâgratefulâtoâbeâbackâhome,âsleepingâinâtheâsameâroomâasâMai.âSomehowâsheâalwaysâsensesâwhenâIâhaveâtheseânightmares;âperhapsâtheyâcoincideâwithâherâown.âWhenâthisâhappens,âorâwhenâweâsimplyâcanâtâsleep,âorâwhenâweâsimplyâdoânotâwantâto,âweâclimbâoutâofâbedâandâwalkâoutside,âhandâinâhand,âontoâourâdeck.âThereâweâsitâinâsilenceâwithâmyâheadârestingâonâherâshoulderâandâwatchâtheâmothsâflutter,âfightingâtoâtouch,âandâyetâneverâreaching,âtheâlightâglowingâbehindâtheâglassâinâtheâlanternsâdanglingâaboveâus.
VYVY TRINH â11 took Writing the Southeast Asian War in the English department, and it was the shit.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
46
MementoMarisa Ideta â11
Digital Photography
47
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Aâblindâmanâonceâtaughtâmyâfatherâhowâtoâsketchâthreeâfishâtangledâup.âAnâexerciseâinâsymmetry,âaâfascinatingâprocedureâforâtheâboyâwhoâwouldâoneâdayâbecomeâanâengineerâandâmarvelâatâtheâphysicsâofâthings.âItâwasâaâmantraâforâhim,âtheseâfish.âHeâcouldâdrawâthemâwithâhisâeyesâsqueezedâshut.âHeâwasnâtâparticularlyâartistic;âartâhadâneverâinterestedâhim.âButâtheseâfish,âtheyâwereâdifferent.ââIârememberâlearningâhowâtoâdrawâthemâwhenâIâwasâveryâyoung,âtheâfascinatedâfatherâandâtheâcondescendingâchildâhunchedâoverâsheetsâofâpaperâwithâtheâsameâthreeâfishâentwiningâoverâandâoverâagainâinâanâendlessâsprawlâofâpages.âNotâunderstandingâhisâpreoccupationâwithâthreeâstupidâfish,âIâwantedâaâdog.âOrâguineaâpigs.âSomethingâIâcouldâcuddle.ââOnlyâtoârealizeâtenâyearsâlaterâthatâtheseâfishâwereânoâworkâofâart.âTheyâwereâaâmobiusâstripâofâhisâlife:âhisâthreeâdaughters,âtheâperfectlyâtrisectedâcircle,âtheâvanishingâpointâatâtheâcenter,âtheâperpendicularâtails.âTheâmiracleâofâparenthood.âCompletelyâunawareâofâhowâhisâfutureâhadâbeenâtoldâallâthoseâdecadesâagoâbyâaâmanâwhoâcouldnâtâseeâandâwhoâtrustedâonlyâinâtheâintuitionâofâhisâfingers.âWeâwerenâtâperfect,âtheseâthreeâfishâweâwriggledâandâspunâfarâbeyondâtheâreachâofâhisâprotectiveâsphereâbutâweâstuck.âThreeâheadsâgoingâinâdif-ferentâdirectionsâbutâneverâtooâfarâapart.âââ
AquariumsBy Corrie Tan
CORRIE TAN â10 is blowing soap bubbles in the bathtub.
for my father
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
48
Where are the Asians in the 2008 Presidential Election?By Soyoung Park
â Theâ2008âpresidentialâelectionâhasâinspiredâaâresurgenceâofâracializedâdiscourseâamongâtheâUnitedâStatesâpublic.ââTheâever-soâtabooâsubjectâofâraceâseemsâalmostâexcessivelyâsalientâinâtheâdecision-makingâprocessesâofâAmericansâeagerâtoâplaceâtheirâvote.ââEvenâso,âseveralâscholarsâ(includingâsomeâpoliticalâscien-tistsâatâBrown)âagreeâthatâwhiteânormativityâpervadesâtheâpoliticalâanalysisâofâtheâelection.ââWhenâanalystsâconjureâtheâimageâofâtheâaverageâAmericanâvoter,âtheyâexpectâusâtoâvisualizeâaâwhiteâman.ââInâaddition,âwhenânewscastersâtalkâaboutâtheâwomanâvote,âtheyâareâinâactualityâtalkingâaboutâwhiteâwomen.ââOften,âcriticismâagainstâsuchâwhiteânormalizationâcentersâonâtheânotionâthatâtheâblackâvoteâisânotâbeingârecognizedâaâcompletelyâvalidâcritique.ââTheâonlyâtimeâatâwhichâblackâvotersâareâacknowledgedâisâwhenâBarackâObamaâsurprisinglyâwinsâpollsâinâSouthernâstatesâandâweâattributeâtoâthatâtheâhighâdensityâofâblackâvotersâinâspecificâSouth-ernâcities.ââMinorityâpopulationsâareâexclusivelyâaddressedâasâanâentityâseparateâfromâtheââtrulyââAmericanâpopulationâandâsolelyâunderâuniqueâcircumstances.
â Inâaddition,âwhenâweâtalkâaboutâminorityâpopulationsâinâdis-coursesâsurroundingâtheâelection,âweâreallyâmeanâblackâpeople.ââWeâfeedâoffâofâtheâwhite-blackâdichotomyâthatâshapesâraceârela-tionsâinâtheâUnitedâStates.ââSubsequently,âweâfurtherâmarginalizeâotherâpeopleâofâcolorâsuchâasâLatinos,âNativeâAmericans,âMiddleâEasternâpeople,âmulti-racialâpeopleâandâAsians.ââIâuseâtheâwordââweââtoâdenoteâhowâmuchâwe,âasâAsians,âperpetuateâthisâmargin-alizationâthroughâourâcomplacency.ââByânoâmeansâdoâIâputâblameâonâusâforâsuchâdiscursiveâinequalities,âbutâwhereâisâtheâcritiqueâagainstâtheâlackâofâAsianâvoterârecognitionâinâthisâelection?ââAsiansâareâignoredâbyâanalystsâandâAmericansâwhoâperpetuateâwhiteânor-mativityâandâtheâwhite-blackâdichotomyâofâraceâsimplyâbyâconcep-tualizingâvotersâinâaâparticularâway.ââAsâaâresult,âtheâ2008âelectionâisâyetâanotherâfastenerâonâtheâstraitjacketââthatâlocksâAsiansâintoâtheâroleâidentityâofâtheâperpetualâforeigner.ââ
â Inâ2004,âoverâ6âmillionâAsiansâwereâeligibleâtoâvote,â51.8%âofâ
whomâregisteredâtoâvoteâandâ44.1%âofâwhomâvotedâ1,âmakingâupâaboutâ3%âofâtheâtotalâeligibleâvoterâpopulationâinâtheâUnitedâStates.ââDependingâonâtheâstate,âthisâpercentageâofâeligibleâAsianâvotersâincreased.ââSomeâofâtheâhighestâpercentagesâofâAsianâvotersâbyâstate,âforâexample,âwereâ2/3âofâtheâelectorateâinâHawaii,â11%âinâCalifornia,âandâ6%âinâNevadaâ2.âââWeâcouldâquestionâtheâsignificanceâofâsuchânumbers,âbutâwhenânomineesâwinâstatesâatâpaper-thinâmargins,âdoesânotâeveryâvoteâcount?ââFurthermore,âbyâdismissingâthisâpopulationâasâirrelevant,âweâcontradictâtheâveryâfoundationâofâtheâelectoralâprocess.ââVotingâintendsâtoâgiveâaâvoiceâtoâallâpeopleâwhoâcastâaâballotâregardlessâofâwhetherâorânotâtheirânomineeâwins,âtheyâwereâgivenâtheâopportunityâtoâstateâtheirâopin-ion.ââByâfailingâtoâacknowledgeâAsiansâinâtheâelectionâdiscourses,âanalystsâandâtheâAmericanâpeopleâstateâthatâtheâAsianâvoteâandâvoiceâdoesânotâmatter.ââAndâifâourâvoteâdoesânotâcount,âthenâareâweâreallyâAmerican?âââââ
â IâdoâwantâtoâcreditâthatâAsiansâwereâacknowledgedâonceâdur-ingâtheâDemocraticâPrimaryâinâCalifornia.ââEvenâthisârecognition,âhowever,âmerelyâservedâtoâperpetuateâracialâhierarchyâwithâwhitesâonâtop.âSeventy-fiveâpercentâofâeligibleâDemocraticâAsiansâinâCali-forniaâvotedâforâHillaryâClinton,âandâ23%âvotedâforâBarackâObama.ââCNNâexpertsâhypothesizedâthatâanti-blackâracismâlayâbehindâthisâdifferential,âandâmanyâotherâscholarsâandâanalystsâagreedâ3.ââSoânow,âAsiansâareânotâonlyâinvisibleâinâtheâelectionâprocess,âbutâtheâoneâtimeâweâmakeâtheâheadlinesâisâtoâproveâthatâweâareâracist.ââInâeffect,âthisâkindâofânewsâcoverageâonlyâenhancesâtheâdivideâandâconquerâphenomenonâthatâcontinuallyâseparatesâAsiansâfromâotherâpeopleâofâcolor,âlikeâblacks,âpittingâusâagainstâeachâotherâandâpreventingâsolidarity.ââSuddenly,âwhiteâracistsâareânotâtheâproblemâforâBarackâObamaâAsiansâare.ââThisâkindâofâdiscourseâallowsâmajorityâpopulationsâtoâavoidâtakingâresponsibilityâforâperpetualâracismâagainstâblacksâandâdirectâblameâelsewhere.
â WhatâisâmostâdepressingâaboutâallâofâthisâisâtheâfactâthatâracismâtowardsâAsiansâisânotâonlyâdismissed,âbutâitâisâmadeâtoâseemâ
49
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
non-existent.ââByâleavingâAsiansâoutâofâtheâelection,âweâevadeâtheâneedâtoâdiscussâhowâclassâinequalityâaffectsâAsianâimmigrantâpopulations.ââOrâhowâhealthâcareâandâeducationâareâinaccessibleâtoâAsianâimmigrantsâwhoâlackâEnglish-speakingâskills.ââTheâmes-sageâthatâthisâfailureâtoârecognizeâracismâtowardsâAsiansâsendsâisâthatâtheâAmericanâpeopleâdoânotâcareâaboutâthisâparticularâpopula-tionâinâtheâUnitedâStates.ââOurâvote,âasâfarâasâtheâAmericanâpublicâcanâtell,âdoesânotâcountâweâareâtooâfewâinânumber.ââWhatâhaveâweâbecome,âthen,âinâtheâeyesâofâtheâaverageâAmerican?ââRacistâforeigners.ââWeâareânotâAmericanâsinceâourâvoteâdoesânotâcountâandâweâareâportrayedâasâhatefulâtowardsâtheâonlyâminorityâgroupâconsideredâtoâbeâpartâofâtheâAmericanâpeople,âalbeitânotâalwaysâwithâopenâarms.âââ
â IfâthisâisâtheâmessageâthatâAmericansâsendâAsians,âwhatâdoâweâasâeligibleâvotersâwhoâwantâourâvoicesâtoâbeâheardâdo?ââWeâcanâcontinueâtoâvoteâuntilâtheâAmericanâpublicâfinallyânoticesâus,âandâIâfirmlyâbelieveâthatâweâshouldâexerciseâourârightâtoâvote.ââVot-ingâalone,âhowever,âisânotâenough.ââAsians,âparticularlyâbilingualâindividuals,âmustâgetâinvolvedâinâcampaignsâtoâregisterâmoreâeligibleâAsiansâtoâvote.ââFurthermore,âweâshouldâbeâatâtheâforefrontâofâadvocacyâagainstâtheâconsequencesâofâracismâthatâAsiansâfaceâdaily.ââAmericansâwillânotârecognizeâtheâeffectsâofâsuchâracismâonâtheirâown.ââTheyâneedâtoâbeâreminded,âandânotânecessarilyâquietly.ââIfâweâwantâAmericansâtoârememberâthatâtheâeconomyâaffectsâAsiansâjustâasâitâdoesâotherâpopulations,âorâthatâimmigrationârightsâhasâasâbigâanâimpactâonâtheâAsianâcommunityâasâitâdoesâonâtheâLatinoâpopulation,âweâcannotâremainâcomplacent.ââAsâsadâasâitâisâthatâweâareâforcedâintoâconditionsâthatârequireâactivism,âweâshouldâwelcomeâtheâresponsibilityâsoâthatâAmericansârememberâthatâweâareâanâimportantâpartâofâtheâUnitedâStates.ââThenâmaybe,âinâ2012,âweâwonâtâhaveâtoâask,ââWhereâareâtheâAsiansâinâtheâPresidentialâElection?ââ
____________________________________________________1â U.S.âCensusâBureau.ââVotingâandâRegistrationâinâtheâElectionâofâNo-vemberâ2004.ââMarchâ2006.2â JefferyâS.âPassel.âââLatinoâandâAsianâVotersâinâtheâ2004âElectionâandâBeyond.ââMigrationâInformationâSource.âhttp://www.migrationinformation.org/USfocus/display.cfm?ID=269.âNovemberâ2004.3â LisaâTakeuchiâCullen.ââDoesâObamaâHaveâanâAsianâProblem?ââTime.âhttp://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,â8599,1714292,00.html.âFebru-aryâ18,â2008.
SOYOUNG PARK â09 is an Asian American woman voter in the 2008 election who voted for Barack Obama.
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
50
E-Board Bios
Mission StatementVISIONSâisâaâpublicationâthatâhighlightsâandâcelebratesâtheâdiversityâofâBrownâsâAsian/AsianâAmericanâCommunity.âWeâareâcommittedâtoâbeingâanâopenâliteraryâandâartisticâforumâforâAsian/AsianâAmericans,âasâwellâasâotherâmembersâofâtheâuni-versityâcommunity,âtoâfreelyâexpressâandâaddressâissuesâre-latingâbothâtoâtheâAsianâandâtheâAsianâAmericanâexperience.âVISIONSâ furtherâ servesâasâaâ forumâ forâ issuesâ thatâ cannotâfindâaâvoiceâinâotherâcampusâpublications.âAsâaâcollaborativeâinitiative,âVISIONSâattemptsâtoâstrengthenâandâactivelyâen-gageâBrownâsâvibrantâcommunityâofâstudents,âfaculty,âstaff,âandâ alumni,â asâ wellâ asâ theâ largerâ Providenceâ community.
JIHAN CHAO â10 signifies nothing.
JILYN CHAO â11 is biding her time.
MELANIE CHOW â11 will pass, because itâs not like it was that great to begin with.
CLAYTON KIM â10 is preparing to be spontaneous.
DEBBIE LAI â12 âs lukewarm life in the refrigerator was interrupted by the advent of melancholy emus.
ERIC LEE â10 is proud to have served as Editor in Chief of VISIONS. He hopes that VISIONS will continue to inspire the community to always seek truth, beauty, and justice.
YEPPII LEE â11 misses the convenience of chopsticks.
KENJI MORIMOTO â11 loves rainy weather, knows too much about his familyâs history, and is searching for the worldâs best gelato.
YUE PANG â11 will accept, sans g-ph hairline.
WENDY SEKIMURA â11 walks on unaccustomed earth.
ALEX TOYOSHIMA â11 is staying hungry.
51
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
ShimenawaLyla McBeath Fujiwara â10
Digital Photography
VISIO
NS
Fa
ll 200
8
52
Interested in joining VISIONS or submitting? Please contact:
Comments? Questions? Suggestions?Please contact:
http://students.brown.edu/Visions/
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect the viewpoints of VISIONSâ advisor, editors, or sponsors.