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Building emotional intelligence complete

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Thursday, October 10, 2013 11am - 12:30pm When dealing with people in trouble, we can easily become immobilized by their emotional intensity. This is further complicated when we consider different communication styles, gender differences as well as cultural and generational differences. We can easily hit the proverbial “brick wall” when dealing with them. This program is designed to equip the Advanced ADR Professional with expanded techniques for managing emotion, redirecting emotional thinking to action oriented behavior, and building credible action plans leading to concrete solutions and problem resolution. Learn how to deepen your listening skills, redirect emotional intensity, build respect and credibility, regain self-control, develop realistic boundaries, and establish plans for action. Learn key differences in how men speak and women speak; bridge the gap and make those differences work. Participants walk away feeling empowered to handle even the most difficult of situations...and people!

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Page 1: Building emotional intelligence complete
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1) The relationship between cognition and emotion in perception

2) Emotions in conflict

3) Emotional self-regulation

3 themes

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• “Negotiators – especially those trained in law – commonly address this problem by trying to exclude emotions from negotiation and to focus solely on so-called objective, rational factors, such as money.”

• (Riskin, 2010)

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Triggering event

Appraisal

Emotion

Somatic reactions

Action tendenciesJones, 2006

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“Emotion and feeling, along with thecovert physiological machinery underlyingthem, assist us with the daunting task of predicting an uncertain future and planning our actions accordingly.” p.139

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EmotionsPrimary: unbidden, gut responses to threat.

Secondary: drawing on recollections and categorizations in the higher parts of our brains.“those thoughts and feelings which, by [a man’s] own choice, or from the structure of his own mind, arise in him without immediate external excitement.” (Wordsworth)

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“Somatic markers”

Universal, adaptive responses to environment

Socially shared scripts

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Emotions in conflict

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“If people could always stay perfectly rational and focused on how to best meet their needs and accommodate those of others . . . then many conflicts would either never arise or would quickly deescalate.” Mayer, 2000, p.10

“Negotiators—especially those trained in law—commonly address this problem by trying to exclude emotions from negotiation and to focus solely on so‐called objective, rational factors, such as money.”Riskin, 2010, 294

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Emotional Regulation

The capacity to a) appraiseb) regulateour emotions

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Identify the emotion

• Grant legitimacy • Encourage emotional

identification • Help the person deny the

emotion (for example, to save face)

• Challenge an emotion label

• Confront emotion avoidance

• Paraphrase emotion • Encourage emotional

perspective taking • Probe meta emotions ‐

Re-appraise the situation

• Choosing emotional response

• Mindfulness?• Yoga?

Jameson et al, 2010, p.34

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

Start of session End of

session

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

Start of session

End of session

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

Start of session

End of session

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EMOTION

Intensity

Volume

HighLow

High

Low

Bass notes

Melody

Joyful notes

Sad notes

Spaces between the notes

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