Hacking EQ - The Fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence

HackingEQHackingEQ

Hacking EQPractical Emotional Intelligence

AirBnB Jan 2017

© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ

How Are You?

(c) Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - used with permission


A Model of How Things Get Done


Humans Are…


How Things Actually Get Done


IQ is An Entry Requirement Only

“It’s not that IQ and technical skills are irrelevant. They do matter, but mainly as “threshold capabilities”; that is, they are the entry-level requirements…”

Daniel Goleman HBR 2004 (repeated more recently in a Google talk)

© Joe Dunn 2016 All Rights Reserved

Emotional Intelligence Definition

Self Self Awareness Self Management

Others Social Awareness Relationship Management

"the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions”

Salovey & Mayer 1990


Imagine/Remember an Interaction

➡ Feedback? Code review? Performance discussion? Product direction?


Mood?



How Are You? Emotion

enraged


angry

peeved

despairing

disheartened

bored

pleasant

enthusiastic

ecstatic

at ease

restful

comfy


What Would Happen If…



Stimulus, Pattern Recognition, Reaction

!➡ Threat!➡ Home➡ Friend➡ Opportunity

➡ Heart Rate➡ Blood Pressure➡ Skin Temp➡ Adrenaline➡ Tension➡ Thoughts➡ Mood= Emotion


A Legacy System

➡ THREAT!

➡ Adrenalin➡ Heart rate up➡ Blood pressure

up➡ Move, move!

!


How We “Hack” Our EQ

➡ attention

<name>

➡ naming ➡ response

➡ continual practice of response leads to reprogramming


What Are Your Thoughts?➡ He/she is fully

wrong➡ I am right!➡ We always mess

this up➡ He/she will quit➡ He/she will hate me➡ I am a bad person➡ I will lose my job➡ I will get found out

➡ What Is True?

➡ What Is the %age Truth?


Thought Balancing

Thought % True Label Balance (What is True?)

I am right! 80% Black and white I am right about X, maybe not Y

This project is a failure

70% Black and white Some stuff worked, some didn’t

He/she will quit 10% Awful forecasting

I don’t know. Seems very unlikely.

He/she is an X 35% Labelling See them as an individual


The Body

➡ Sensations?➡ Location?


Self-Awareness

Emotions

Thoughts Body


An Interaction


A Conversation Model

Information

Opinion

Emotion

8

2

2

2

8

9


An Interaction


Listening : A Hack

➡ Intention?

<I’m right!>

➡ Label it ➡ Change it

➡ Listen so the other person is heard


An Interaction


Practice = Brain Programming“Whatever one frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of the mind”

Buddha“What we practice, we will become”

Jack Kornfield

“Neurons that fire together, wire together”Donald Hebb

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Leadership & Management

Hacking EQ - The Fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence