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Coping with Stress presentation delivered to a group of health professionals
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Welcome to
Achieving Life Balance:
Coping With Stress @ Work and @ Home
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Seminar Goals
• Eliminate any misconceptions about stress management
• Learn to avoid or eliminate stressors when possible
• Build upon your current coping resources and stress-management skills
• Develop new coping resources
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Stress is Life
Worth Remembering …
“If you want to avoid worry live in a day-tight compartment and don’t stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.”
- Dale Carnegie
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Stress Busters
Questions Worth Answering:
• What is creating stress in your life?
• What can you do about it?
• What are you prepared to do about it?
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Life is About WIIFM’sQuestions Worth Answering:
• How satisfied are you with where you are in your career, your home or social life?
• If you could make a change in your career, your home or your social life what would it be?
• What do you need to do to make that happen?
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What’s Your WIIFM?
Worth Remembering …
“Those who cannot tell what they desire or expect still sigh and struggle with indefinite thoughts and vast wishes”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The Attitude Challenge
• Does everyone have an attitude?
• Are they all the same?
• Do you own 100% of yours?
• Does your attitude have an impact on the outcome in any given situation?
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Attitude
Worth Remembering …
“Change what you can – influence what you will – and give up all of those things that you cannot control”
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Your Attitude is a Choice
Worth Remembering …
“Everything can be taken away but one thing: The last of human freedoms – To choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one’s own way”
- Viktor Frankl
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Choice
Worth Remembering …
“Once the what is decided the how always follows. We must not make the how an excuse for not facing and accepting the what.”
- Pearl S. Buck
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Change Model
C – Commit – to a new beginning
H – Habits – break old and start new
A – Action – take one step at a time
N – Never – never give up – be persistent
G – Goals – set SMART targets
E – Evaluate – your plan & reward yourself
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Good Habits = Good Results
Worth Remembering …
“As long as you keep doing what you’ve been doing then you are going to keep on getting what you’ve been getting. Change the habit – change the result”
- Zig Ziglar
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Change as Opportunities
Questions Worth Asking:
• Why must organizations change?
• Why must you change?
• What gets in the way of change?
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Stress?
Questions Worth Answering:
• What is stress?
• What do we know for certain about stress?
• What do we know for certain that can help us cope with the negative health side-effects of stress?
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Relax – You’re Alive
Worth Remembering …
“Bless this stress. It helps me see that I’m such a mess”
- Loretta LaRoche
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Functional
Dysfunctional
ExcitementComfort
Boredom
Low Balanced High
Frustration
Stress Level
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Three Methods for Coping with Stress
• Eliminate the stressor or change your response to it
• Use the coping resources available to you
• Develop new coping resources
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1. Most Critical Issues
2. 4. Least Critical Issues
3.
Able to Change Difficult to Change
Hig
h P
rior
ity
Low
Pri
orit
y
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Most Critical Issues
• Your most critical stress issues are those you feel are a high priority to change and you are able to change them. If it is blocking you from achieving your goals then it should be a high priority.
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Least Critical Issues
• Your least critical stress issues are those with a low priority and are very difficult to change. For those stressors that you can change - develop a plan. For those stressors that you can’t change - than you need to change your response to them.
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Balance
Worth Remembering …
“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.”
- David Allen
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The New Reality
Worth Remembering …
“I thought 24/7 was a new kind of Mac’s Milk not a new way of life. This new technology was suppose to improve the quality of our lives – not compound it”
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Just Say No
Worth Remembering …
“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists of eliminating the non-essentials.”
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My De-Stressor
Worth Remembering …
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you are thinking about it”
- Mary Engelbreit
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Relationship Coping Resources
• Problem Solving -- the ability to deal directly with the difficult situations you face and make positive changes to resolve them.
• Communication -- the ability to share thoughts and feelings with others in order to promote mutual understanding, even under difficult circumstances.
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Relationship Coping Resources
• Closeness -- the degree to which you have developed a supportive social fabric in each area of life
• Flexibility -- the degree of organization in your life and how comfortable you are with unstructured and unpredictable situations
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Personal Coping Resources
• Self-Esteem -- feeling good about yourself and perceiving yourself as having inherent worth as a person
• Mastery -- feeling competent and in control of your life
• Social Support -- having a network of friends and family you can count on
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Personal Coping Resources
• Spiritual Beliefs -- believing in a set of values external to yourself
• Nutrition -- dietary habits and motivations
• Exercise -- physical activity that maximizes or minimizes your ability to cope with stress
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Problem Solvingrefers to your ability
to deal directly with
the difficult situations you face
and make positive changes
to resolve them.
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To Improve Your Problem Solving Skills
• Deal with the problem as soon as you perceive it
• Define the problem carefully
• Separate people from the problem
• Separate emotions from the problem
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To Improve Your Problem Solving Skills
• Determine your desired outcome
• Make a list of creative and practical solutions
• Don’t get trapped into thinking there is only “one” resolution
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Problems
Worth Remembering …
“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
- Theodore Rubin
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Communicationis the ability to share thoughts
and feelings with others in order
to promote mutual
understanding, even under
difficult circumstances.
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Communication Patterns
• Gender Patterns
• Generational Patterns
• Geographic Patterns
• Cultural Patterns
• Educational Patterns
• Occupational Patterns
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Communication Realities
• You cannot not communicate
• Whenever contact is made communication occurs
• Meanings are in people not in words
• Meanings cannot be transferred from one mind to another … only words can be transferred.
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“We only hear half of what is said to us,
understand only half of that, and remember only
half of that.”
--Mignon McLaughlin
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Active Listening
• Listen to understand, not to judge
• Focus on the message sent
• Use “reflective listening” to summarize the other person’s message
• Praise others for sharing
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Listening Realities
• Humans have the ability to listen at a rate of _______________ words per minute
• Humans have the ability to speak at a rate of _______________ words per minute
• That gives humans ________ words per minute to tune out.
- Dr. Ralph Nichols
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Effective Speaking
• Use “I” statements when you speak
• Be respectfully assertive
• Speak for a purpose
• As for feedback
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Speak with Purpose
Worth Remembering …
“Let us say what we feel, and feel what we say; let speech harmonize with life”
- Seneca
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Closenessrefers to the degree to which
you have developed a
supportive social fabric in
each area of your life.
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“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand
fibers connect us with our fellow men...”
--Herman Melville
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Life is a TEAM Sport
T – Together
E – Everyone
A – Achieves
M – More
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“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together
is success.”
--Henry Ford
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Developing Closeness• Make relationships a priority
• Share your personal feelings
• Find quality time together
• Focus on the positive and give praise
• Focus on future goals
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FlexibilityIndicates both the degree of
structure in your life and how
comfortable you are with
situations that are unstructured
and unpredictable
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Developing Flexibility• Be open to diverse ideas
• Brainstorm ideas without judging
• Avoid judging “right” or “wrong”
• “Try on” other people’s ideas
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“The most successful people are those whose success is the result of steady accretion. It is those people who carefully advance step by
step, their minds becoming wider and wider, and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation, persevering in what they know to be practical, and concentrating their thought upon
it, who are bound to succeed in the greatest degree.”
--Alexander Graham Bell
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• For stressors you CAN change, develop a specific plan of action for creating change, then follow through with that plan
• Change your response to those stressors you CANNOT change
• Improving stress management capabilities can increase personal and business productivity, emotional well-being, and relationships
Achieving Life Balance
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• Stress is not always bad. Moderate stress can help you be more creative, energetic, focused, and productive
• When stress increases beyond our ability to easily cope with it, we begin to feel its negative effects
Achieving Life Balance
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• Problem Solving -- the ability to deal directly with the difficult situations you face and make positive changes to resolve them
• Communication -- the ability to share thoughts and feelings with others in order to promote mutual understanding, even under difficult circumstances
Achieving Life Balance
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• Closeness -- the degree to which you have developed a supportive social fabric in each area of life
• Flexibility -- the degree of structure in your life and how comfortable you are with situations that are unstructured and unpredictable
Achieving Life Balance
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To Improve Problem Solving Skills:
• Deal with the problem as soon as you perceive it
• Define the problem carefully• Separate the people from the problem• Determine your desired outcome• Don’t get trapped into thinking there is
only “one” resolution
Achieving Life Balance
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To Improve Listening Skills
• Listen to understand
• Focus on the message sent
• Use “reflective listening” to summarize the other person’s message
• Praise others for sharing
Achieving Life Balance
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To Improve Speaking Skills:
– Use “I” statements when you speak
– Be assertive
– Speak for a purpose
– Ask for feedback
Achieving Life Balance
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To Develop Closeness:
– Make relationships a priority– Share your personal feelings– Find quality time together– Focus on the positive and give praise– Focus on future goals
Achieving Life Balance
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To Develop Greater Flexibility:
– Be open to diverse ideas
– Brainstorm ideas without judging
– Avoid judging “right” or “wrong”
– “Try on” other people’s ideas
Achieving Life Balance
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• Commit yourself to a specific goal
• Habits…break old and start new
• Action…take one step at a time
• Never give up…lapses might occur
• Goal-oriented…focus on the positive
• Evaluate and reward yourself
Achieving Life Balance
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7-Steps to Less Stress It’s a Matter of Being FOCUSED©
F – Forgiving of others and yourself O – Organized – invest time wisely C – Consistent – develop good habits U – Understanding – show empathyS – Sincere – help others be successful E – Energized – live your dreams D – Determined – never give up
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Your Reality Check
Worth Remembering …
“You can either get FOCUSED or get STUFFED. The choice is yours”
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Thank You Thank you for participating in this
workshop. I hope you got your WIIFM.
Brian Smith
Power Link Dynamics
bsmith@pldynamics.com
www.pldynamics.com
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