Alpha Books bin son 20 tui tr thnh ngi bit ni gii lm Bn quyn ting Vit Cng ty C phn Sch Alpha D n 1.000.000 ebook cho thit b di ng Pht hnh ebook: http://www.taisachhay.com To ebook: T Hi Triu Ebook thc hin dnh cho nhng bn cha c iu kin mua sch. Nu bn c kh nng hy mua sch gc ng h tc gi, ngi dch v Nh Xut Bn Mc lc 20 tui tr thnh ngi bit ni gii lm ....................................................................................................... 2 Li gii thiu .............................................................................................................................................................. 5 1. X hi khng ch i s trng thnh ca bn ..................................................................................... 7 2. Ni v lm bng mt tri tim bnh thn .................................................................................................. 11 3. Chn thnh l cch i nhn x th tt nht ........................................................................................ 14 4. Danh d ng gi ngn vng ........................................................................................................................ 17 5. Lun hi hc v lc quan ............................................................................................................................ 20 6.Hai giy quyt nh vn mnh ...................................................................................................................... 23 7. Tuyn truyn bn thn mt cch c mc ch ..................................................................................... 26 8. Giao tip cn bt u t l nghi .................................................................................................................. 29 9. Ch ng lm quen v khen ngi ............................................................................................................... 33 10.C gng trnh tranh lun vi ngi khc ........................................................................................... 36 11.Th hin lng cm kch ............................................................................................................................... 39 12. Khng nn i ngi khc gic mt cu, mnh mi i mt bc ............................................. 43 14. Mn ting tm ca ngi khc lm cng vic ca mnh ...................................................... 49 15. Gi th din cho ngi khc ..................................................................................................................... 52 16. Thi quyt nh rt nhiu vic ........................................................................................................... 54 17. Nhng cu ni v hnh ng khin ngi khc ght nht ........................................................... 57 19. Khng phi lc no cng th hin cm xc trn gng mt ....................................................... 62 20 .Rn luyn thi quen phn on con ngi ......................................................................................... 64 22. on bit ng ca ngi khc ............................................................................................................... 69 24. Phn bc ngi khc mt cch kn o ................................................................................................ 73 27. Ly tnh ch ng - nm vng quyn ch ng ................................................................................ 79 28. Khi ngi khc ni xu bn ....................................................................................................................... 81 S im lng hng bin hn li ni. ................................................................................................................... 81 29. Khi ngi khc lm bn kh x ............................................................................................................... 83 32. ng chm vo nhng tm t nhy cm ca ngi khc ............................................................ 90 34. Bn thn c l cng cn cho ngi khc mt ng li................................................................ 94 Li gii thiu Cc bn tr thn mn, Trit gia Henri Frederic Amiel tng ni: Ngi no ni cho ti bit tui ca h, k tht ng ngn. Tui ca bn l do bn t cm nhn. Tht vy! S tui bn cm nhn v s nm bn c mt trn i nhiu lc khng tng ng vinhau.20tui,bncthlmtngitrngthnh,mnhmvchngnmgi tng lai ca mnh. Nhng 20 tui, bn cng c th vn l a tr non nt vng v v yu uitrctngconsngcacuci.Baonhiutuinhtnhkhngphilldocho nhng thiu st ca bn thn. 20tuitrthnhngibitnigiilmsgipbncthmnglcbtuhnh-trnh-trng-thnh y sng gi ca mnh. Cun sch l tng hp ca 35 k nng khng th thiu bn lun gi c s bnh tnh v tm ra cch ng i thng minh trong mi tnh hung giao tip. Nhng thc mc nh: - Lm sao c x chn thnh nhng vn khng khin cho ngi khc phi pht lng? - Lm sao khen ngi ngi khc nhng khng to cm gic xu nnh? - Lm sao thuyt phc ngi khc m khng khi mo cho tranh lun tiu cc? - Lm sao hnh nh ca bn lun p v chim c cm tnh ca ngi khc? - Lm sao i ph vi nhng li ni xu sau lng v gi gn danh d ca mnh? s c cc chuyn gia v ngh thut giao tip phn tch v a ra nhng li khuyn thit thc nht. Quantrnghnht,cunschhngnrnluynchoccbntrvarikhiging ng i hc mt phong thi nh c, ng mc; thi cu tin, khim tn v kh nng cn bng cm xc trong mi hon cnh. C nh vy, s nhit tnh v nng ng ca bn mi pht huy hiu qu trong cng vic v cuc sng. Hy vng cun sch s gip bn trng thnh hn trong tui 20 ca mnh. Trn trng gii thiu ti c gi! H Ni, thng 9 nm 2014 CNG TY C PHN SCH ALPHA 1.Xhikhngchi strngthnh ca bn Tui ca tri tim khng c o bng tc bc. Edward Bulwer Lytton C mt ngi em gi va i lm tm s vi ti rng, nhng ngy thng ny c cm thy c n hn bao gi ht. Saukhittnghip,emthynhbnb,nhnhnglcbtxebutlninhLmuasch, my a ra n kem Trng Tin ri do quanh B H n tn 6, 7 gi mi v, nh nhng ti i tr chanh bun da l Ton nhng k c tht p v kh qun. Vy m gi y, ci g cng phi li ci lm mt mnh: mt mnh n cm, mt mnh i v nh, mt mnh khc, mt mnh ci. Mi ti tr v cn phng tr ti om, bt gic trong lng em cm thy trng rng c n mt cch l thng. Khi ngi trn xe but, nhn ng ph xe c qua li tp np, em bng cm thy mnh khng thucvniny,bn taichvanglntngbcchnlloicachnhmnh.Nugpphi nhng chuyn khng thun li, ni bun dng nh li nhn ln gp bi. Em rt nh cuc sng v lo v ngh ngy xa, cm thy chn nn vi cuc sng bn b lo toan nh by gi. Gi nh khng phi trng thnh th hay bit my! Tirthiutmtrngcaem,vcnhnglctitngccmgicnhvy.Khivatt nghip i hc, ti cng phi bn chi mtmnh ni thnh ph.Ti cng tng m mng rng, c g mnh mi c sng trong nhng nm thng sinh vin v t vui v. Th nhng, chngtakhngthchsngtrongthgiicachnhmnh.Chcnbcchnvoxhi, bt k bn trng thnh, chun b tt hay cha, rt nhiu vic bn vn phi mt mnh idinvachmvi cucsng,idinvisphctpcaccmiquanh,vi nng lchnchcabnthnChngtakhngcnlachnnokhc,ngoitmnhtrng thnh ln. Khi cn ngi trn gh nh trng, thy c dy d chng ta, cn by gi, x hi s m nhn vic . Ti ngh trng hc cng nh gia nh, kh bao dung vi mi ngi hc tr. Khi cn l hc sinh, chng ta c thy c v bn b gip chng ta trng thnh dn ln, nhng x hi s khng gip, m p chng ta trng thnh. Trong trng hc, bn c th hc tp v trng thnhmtcchtt;cnngoixhi,nunhbntrngthnhquchm,nhiukh nng bn s b o thi, b nhng ngi trng thnh hn thay th. Trong trng hc, ch cn chng ta c bng im p, nhn cch tt l c th nhn c s yumncathycvbnb;cnngoixhi,lmvicttthicha.Trongmi trng x hi cnh tranh khc lit nh ngy nay, ch cn nng lc ca bn khng p ng c yu cu cng vic, s c ngi sn sng qung bn sang mt bn. Ngi ta chng tn thigianvcngscgipbndntrngthnh.Bnkhngn?Bnkhngchu?Bn khng thch? C h hn g u, s c ngi thay bn! ng m mng rng ngoi kia lun c mt cng vic xn, mc lng khng ch i bn. Ch n khi bn thc s trng thnh nmtmcnhtnh,xhimitipnhnbn.Crtnhiungithanthrng, trong tay nm rt nhiu bng i hc nhng chng c cng ty no nhn. Mt s ngi ngy bin rng do vn may cha ti nn ton tm phi nhng cng vic chn ngt; cng c ngi c ch bt bnh, ni nhng a bn cng trang la u lm n chc n chc kia, m sao bnthnvndmchntich.Nhng ngi sutngychbit thanthn trch phnnh th,chcchnschngbaogithnhcng.Khibnbitcchidinvthchng nhanh chng vi x hi, bn s khng cn thi gian than th na, bi ton b thi gian bn c c dng vo vic hc tp, lm vic v m rng cc mi quan h ca mnh ri. Quanglmtchngtrailunsngcmcchrrng.SaukhittnghipihcBch khoa, anh ra mc tiu: 5 nm na s mua nh H Ni. Kt qu l cha y 4 nm, c m ca anh thnh hin thc. Sut qung thi gian mit mi lao ng ny, anh thy bn thn mnh tin b v trng thnh hn rt nhiu. Khimiixinvic,Quangcnhnvolmnhnvinvnphngcamtcngtynh. HainginavolmcngtviQuanguttnghiptimttrngihckhng my tn tui. Trong cng ty, mi khi in thoi bn reo, ch c Quang ng dy nghe my, hai ngi kia vn ngi im mt ch. Mt thi gian sau, mi ngi ngm coi Quang l mt chn chy vic vt, in thoi reo, nunhQuangkhngngdy,mingicngmck,inkhianhphingln nghe mi thi. Cngtynhnncngkhngcnhnvintpv,mingiphitspxpvicvsinh phng.Mi khitanlm,chngaichuchngivtrc,Quanglilmtngiasch s, nn anh nh kim lun chn rc. Thcra,nhngvicnykhinhvibmhaytrng,Quangkhngphilmnhiu. Nhnganhbit,giilmrithphictcphongnghimtc,rtnhiunhngvic khng tn ca cng ty, anh u ch ng xn tay vo lm. Sau khi i lm, Quang cng thay i lun c cch n mc. Ngy trc, khi cn trng, anh thchmcqunoththao,ophngqunjeans,bygithchncuitunkhii bng cng ng nghip, anh mi n mc nh vy, cn bnh thng lc no anh cng ng b s mi qun u cm thng, Quang mun mi ngi nhn nhn mnh nh mt ngi ln thc th. V nhng biu hin tt trong thi gian th vic, (tuy c mt s ng nghip ni rng anh ch givtchccvythi,nhngQuangkhngbuntm),Quangchnhthccnhn volm,cnhai ngivocngtkiabchongh.Spni rng,Quang ra dng nhn vin hn so vi hai ngi kia. Mi giai on trong cuc i i hi chng ta phi c cch hnh x khc nhau. Nu nh khi chuynngiaionny,bnvngilinghvcchlmcagiaiontrc,iu ng ngha vi vic bn vn cha trng thnh, m mt ngi khng trng thnh s mi ch l ci bng ca ngi khc. Nu khng n lc hc tp v cu tin, bn s khng bao gi chm ti ci ch thnh cng trong tng lai. V vy khi tui 20, chng ta cn phi c tinh thn trch nhim v xc nh c mc tiu i mnh. Tinh thn trch nhim chu trch nhim cho tng lai ca chnh mnh C mt ngi sau khi tt nghip c nhn vo lm ti mt cng ty n, trong thi gian th vic,vphitngtctgimnhns nnlnhocngtyquyt nhchomtsngi ngh vic. Do c kinh nghim lm vic t nht, nn l d nhin anh ta b ui vic. Dphngnhnsthngbongycuicngcathnganhtakhngcnphinna, thngsaucnlnhlnglc,thnhnganhngh,lnhnvinthnnhon thnh nt mi cng vic cn dang d. Lm thm mt ngy cng l cho mnh thm mt ngy rnluyn.Vvy,ncui thng,anhvnxuthin, ngivobnlmvic nghimtc, laudnchngischs,spxptiliucnthn,bngiaocngviccth,rrng,sau cngbttaytmbittngngitrongphng.Schuocaanhlmmingiainy u cm thy luyn tic. Tun u tin ca thng mi, phng nhn s gi in thng bo, anh ta c th tip tc n lmvic,khngcnphinghna,nguyndolvtinhthnlmvictntyvthi ng mc ca anh lm lnh o cng ty cm ng, h ni nu mt nhn vin nh anh ra i, mi l tn tht ca cng ty. Nhiu bn tr khng c tinh thn trch nhim thng khng ch ng trong cng vic. H quendadmngikhc,khngdnhrachtthigiannosuynghxemtnglai mnh s ra sao. Mt ngy ca h tri qua mt cch u u lng ph, n khi chm ngng tui 30, h mi thm tha rng, bn thn vt b nhng thng ngy ti p nht, c ch nht trong cuc i li pha sau. Chngtannbitrng,milnbungth,chiuchungchnhmnh,tuynhtthikhng nhnraciugxu,nhngdndn,nstrthnhthiquenli,thnhtnhchk, cuicngsgyhichochnhbn.Cthni,nhngbntrkhngchuln,khngchu trng thnh, xt cho cng l do h khng dm chu trch nhim. Tht ra, p lc khng phi liuthi.Chnhnhnhngplc,bnmicthtinlntngbctrncon ng vn ti thnh cng. Hiu bn thn v xc nh mc tiu cuc i Hnh ng t c mc tiu cuc i dng nh c mi lin h mt thit vi ch tin th. Cng ging nh cu chuyn v Quang m ti k trn, sau khi vo cng ty, cu t coimnhlmtthnhvinca tpth,nhngvicm mingi khnglm,cuuch ng lm. Quang khng cn n nhng li bn ra tn vo, cu hiu rng gi i lm thbnthnphictcphongcamtnhnvinthcth.Quangkhngbntmrng nhng vic mnh lm ht sc vt vnh, bi cu bit l nhng vic nn lm, v nhng vic ny c ch cho tin v cng vic ca cu sau ny. Bn mun hng n mt cuc sng th no th ngay t giy pht ny, bn phi n lc thc hin n. ng i n khi 30 tui mi bt tay vo lm. ng ngh rng mnh hy cn tr, cn nhiu thi gian ch i; ng ngh rng mnh vn cn nh, mi ngi s nhng nhn mnh. Hiu c iu ny cng sm, bn s cng c nhiu thi gian phn u, thnh cng s ngy cng gn hn vi bn. V d, nu mt ngi t ra mc tiu cao, trong khi hin ti, nng lc ca bn thn cha p ng c iu , ngi s t gic hc tp, khng ngng hc hi v tip thu nhng kinh nghim ca ngi khc. Hay khi bit rng mi quan h x hi ca mnh vn cn t i, ngi stchccmrnggiaolu,ktgiaobnb,khngngngtngcngvnuidng chokhnnggiaotipcamnhTtcnhngviclmdndnskhinngi trng thnh ln, ngy cng tin gn hn n mc tiu cuc i. 2. Ni v lm bng mt tri tim bnh thn Mi pht bn gin d, bn t b su mi giy thanh thn tm hn. Ralph Waldo Emerson Tui tr l tui trn y nng lng v nhit huyt. Th nhng, l thanh nin, chng ta cngcnhctpnhngngilntui,gichomnhmttritimbnhthn,dcgp chuyn g cng khng c x l mt cch nng ni, thin cn. Khi cn tr, Huy ph trch cng tc k thut cho cc cng trnh, vn l ngi nhanh nhn v tho vt, bt k vic g n tay anh cng u gii quyt rt nhanh chng v chu ton. Nhng cng vic phi cn n hai k s lm, mt mnh anh lm d nh tr bn tay. Ngoi ra, anh cn c rt nhiu nhng sng kin v mt chuyn mn, i a s u c p dng rt thnh cng. V vy, anh ngh rng cng hin ca mnh rt ln, nn bt u c cht t mn, khng coi ai ra g. Huy khng bit rng, khng coi ai ra g l mt vic i k. C mt ln lm d n, kin ca Huy v cc ng nghip khng ging nhau, mi ngi u chorngnnlmthny,nhnganhlikinquytlmtheocchcamnh.Cuicng khng kim ch ni, Huy nng li: D n kiu ny cc anh cha tng lm, v vy khng c t cch a ra kt lun y! Cc ng nghip nghe Huy ni vy u ngn ngm lc u, nh k cho anh mun lm g th lm. Vsau,dnkhngthnhcng.MingicngdnxalnhHuy.Nhngngnghip trc kia vo lm cng t vi anh, gi u ln lt m nhn nhng chc v quan trng. Mc d nng lc rt tt, nhng Huy vn ch l mt tay ph trch k thut cng trnh qun. Sau ny anh mi thc c rng, khi xa mnh qu bng bt, khng lm ch c cm xc, khin cho mi ngi khng mun chia s na. Lngitr,nhiukhichngtathnghayttinthiquvobnthnmnh.Milm c vi vic thnh cng, ta lin ngh ngay rng bn thn rt gii giang, v dng tm l t mn i x vi mi ngi. Nhng cch hnh x nh vy s khin bn sm v mng v bnthn,vnhnranhngmttrica tnh tkiu. Thanhnin,ngoivicchmchlm vicra,cncnphigimtthibnhha,dbitbnthngiigiangnu,cng philunkhimtncntrng;dchonnglccabncttnmcno,cngkhng cnht nhttchomnhlng;dchobncgt hicbitbaothnhtu,cng phigichomnhmttmlphngmivic;dchobncgpphiththchkh khnthno,cngphigichomnhmtsbnhtnhTtcnhngiuny,ngita gi l mt tri tim bnh thn. Nu bn cn tr v mun bi dng cho mnh mt tm l bnh thn khi i mt vi mi chuyn, bn cn ch nhng im sau: Mt s vic khng nn nhn nhn qu nng n Mcdtivnlunchorng,lthanhninthphikhngngngnlctheouil tng,cgngtcmcchcabnthn,thnhngtrongqutrnhtheouil tng ca mnh, chng ta thng phi nm tri khng t nhng tht bi v ni bun: cng vic khng sun s, c n v b bn b xa lnh, au bun v tht tnh i vi nhng thanh nin va bc vo i, vn p trong mnh nhng k vng ln lao vo tng lai, u l nhng tr ngi khng d g vt qua. Chng khin h mt mi, chn chng, t ti, thm ch tr nn bt mn vi cuc i. Thc ra c mt s vic, nu chng ta qu coi trng th n cng dvutkhitmtay,vmtkhivutkhitmtayri,chngtascngcmthytht vng. Mt nh vn n tng ni: Nu bn khc v tut mt mt tri, vy th bn cng ang b l nhng nh sao kia. Trong vn bi cuc i, c thng th s c thua, c mt mt th cng c thnh qu, ch cn bn c gng lm n mt mc m bn thn cm thy hi lng l c. Bn vn cn tr, cn c hi th li. Cng lm l th li vi ln, c sao u, phi khng! Hiu c rng, chu thit l may mn Trong cuc sng, chng ta cn bit cch nhn nhn s vic bng con mt bin chng. S c nhng vic bn cm thy ti t, thc ra li mang n cho bn rt nhiu li ch. Mt ln xem ti vi, ti thy mt gim c doanh nghip khi c phng vn v vic lm th no tuyn dng nhn ti, ng y tr li: Nghim tc l thc o tiu chun nh gi nhn vin. ng k cu chuyn, mi ln cn ra xe, ng u n mt tim duy nht, cmtcunhnvinlmvicv cngtm, chrachicxechonkhikhngcndnh ht bi no mi thi, iu khin ng cm thy rt hi lng. C ln cu nhn vin i vng, mt nhn vin khc gip ng ra xe, nhn anh chng lm vic,mcdtyucu,nhngrrngrtnhiuchvncndnhbntvbtx phng.Vsau,ngtrctiphicunhnvinkiacmunnlmviccngtyca ng khng, tt nhin cu b vui v nhn li. ivicunhctrn,cngmtcngvicnhngculmvicchuohnngikhc, mt nhiu thi gian v cng sc hn, c th ni l ang chu thit v mnh, bi cu hon ton c th ch cn lm n mc t yu cu l c. Tuy phi chu thit thi nhng iu cng m ra cho cu mt c hi ln hn cng vic hin ti cu ang lm. Rt nhiu bn tr khi lm vic lun s mnh b bc lt, khng chu lm chiu di cho k khc.Hkhngnhngkhngckinhnghimcngvic,likhngmunbcngsclm nhng vic nh nht, lm c mt cht i hi c bit i, tng lng. Thc ra, khi bnchackinhnghim,dnhthigianlmnhngvicnhtrc,gipvicchongi khc (m bn ngh rng mnh ang lm chiu di cho k khc) khng phi l vic g qu ti t, v bn s tch ly c nhiu th c gi tr hn. Hn bn bit quy lut nc chy ch trng?Mtkhibnchpnhnvtnguynlmttccvicnh,dndnbnslmtt c cc vic ln v c mi ngi nh gi tt hn, tin tng hn, v c hi s n lc no khng hay. t mnh v tr bnh thng, khng nn nh gi bn thn qu cao T tin r rng l tt, nhng t ph li chng hay cht no. D ti gii n u cng khng c coi mnh l nht, hung h khi nng lc ca bn khng cao hn ai. Nhng k qu coi trng bn thn thng l nhng ngi khng coi ai ra g, lc no cng cao ngo s din, cui cng rt d b x hi v nhng ngi xung quanh b ri. Cu bn ti lm trng phng nhn s cho mt cng ty n, mi nm cu u tuyn c rt nhiu nhn ti c ch cho cng ty. Mt ln, c mt c gi rt xinh p n xin ng tuyn vo v tr tr l gim c, mu i thoi gia hai ngi din ra nh sau: Hi:Emttnghipchuyn nghnhcngtrnh xydng,tisaolimunchuynsanglm hnh chnh vn phng vy? Tr li: Ch l mun thi, chc nhng g hc c t ngnh cng trnh s gip ch c cho cng vic tr l ch ! (c cht c ) Hi: Vy em c hiu cng vic tr l gim c cn lm nhng g khng? Tr li: Chc l lm mi vic sp giao cho thi ng khng anh? (on m) Hi: Vy em c ng lm nhn vin l tn trc khng? Tr li: Em cng khng chc na, cn v tr no khc khng? (c v khng hi lng) Hi: Mc d bng im ca em rt tt, nhng hin gi em khng c cht kinh nghim lm vic no c, cng vic l tn s gip em rn luyn v tch ly c nhiu k nng Trli:Thicngc!Nhngemnitrclemkhnglmltnmiunh!(ngp ngng) Hi: Tt nhin ri, nhng iu cn ph thuc vo biu hin cng vic ca em! c ri, by gi ni cho anh bit, mc lng mong mun ca em l bao nhiu? Tr li: My a bn em mi thng c khong 8 triu. Em chc phi tm 9 triu mi lm c anh ! (khng bit ni g hn) C gi ny i xin vic nhng li khin ngi ta c cm gic cng ty ang phi nn n c y v lm vic th ng hn. D cho bng im chuyn ngnh c tt bao nhiu, xinh p n th no,thnhngtrongcngvic,nnglcvtnhcchphictlnhngu,l cha k ngoi kia c rt nhiu ngi gii hn c y. 3.Chnthnhlcchinhnxthtt nhtS chn thnh l iu tt p nht bn c th trao tng mt ngi. Tht ra, lng tin cy, tnh bn v tnh yu u ty thuc vo iu c. Elvis Presley iu quan trng nht khi ni v lm bt c iu g, l phi thc s chn thnh. Trongsnhngngichngtatipxchngngy,ailngichntht,ailkgito, chng ta u c th cm nhn c. i vi nhng ngi chn thnh, cho d ban u bn c th khng thch h, nhng ri s c ngy, s chn thnh ca h lm bn cm ng; cn vinhng kgito, dcholcubncththchthvcmthygngi vicchh ci, cch h tn thng, nhng theo thi gian, bn s nhn ra h ch l nhng k ming nam m, bng mt b dao gm, bn s chn ght v ri xa h. Ai cng thch mi ngi i x chn thnh vi mnh. Hc gi ngi M Endrin khi nghin cu v nhng phm cht c th nh hng n mi quan h x giao ca con ngi pht hinranmphmchtcnhgicaonhtlnltnhsau:chnthnh,thnhtht, thu hiu, trung thnh, ng tin cy, trong bn phm cht ng ng sau d t d nhiu cngulinquannschnthnh.Tcththyrng,schnthnhcthgip bnmrngvphttrinccmiquanh,ngcliskhngchnthnhskhinmi ngi xa lnh v phng bn. Aitrongchngtacngcnschnthnh.Chnthnhlchakhamcnhcabc vo th gii ni tm ca ngi khc, n khin mi ngi c cm gic an ton, xoa du cm gic th ch. Nhng ngi c thi chn thnh rt d nhn c s tn nhim ca ngi khc, chn thnh c th khin hai tm hn xa l tr nn gn gi v thu hiu ln nhau. Trongmitrngcnhtranhkhclitnhngynay,nubncthtchnthnhlm tiuchinhnxthhngucabnthn,bnscngddngnhncstin tng ca mi ngi. C mt v gim c tr tui n, khi nh v nhng nm thng qua, anh cho rng mnh rt may mn khi gp c qu nhn ph tr. Khi,tilmnhnvinbngbtrongmtnhhng,thngxuyngpphinhngv khch kh tnh. Chng hn, h c chn nhng mn h mun n, nhng trong thc n li khng c; c ngi thm ch cn chi bi om sm: Nh hng qui g vy, nhng mn nh th m cng khng c l sao? Rt nhiu khch hng i hi qu ng, th nhng khi lm y mt thi gian, ti mi pht hin ra rng, d sc mt ca h khi bc vo c xm x n my, ch cn i x vi h mt cch chn thnh, cui cng h vn s tin tng mnh. Su nm trc, vo mt ngy gip tt, ngoi tri ma bi lt pht. Tri v khuya, bng c mt v khch n bc vo qun, trn tay b rt nhiu ti, c dng ngi l r s mt mi. Anh ta gi mt bt ph n cho m bng, nhng li ng lc nh hng chun b ng ca, u bp v c, lc ny ch cn mt s mn n n gin v vi nhn vin trc ban. Khch: Cho ti mt bt ph g. Ti: Xin li anh, mn ny ht mt ri. Khch(ltxemvitrangthcnrini): Th cho ti mt bt m b cng c. Ti (bt u cm thy y ny): Xin li, m b cng ht ri anh . Gi ch em ch cn cm rang v my mn lt vt thi. Khch (t v bc bi): Ci g cng khng cn, sao cc cu khng treo bin ng ca? V lc ny rt mun, ti dm chc cc hng n khc cng ng c, nh hng chng ti vn cha ng v cn bn n nhanh cho khch qua ng. D rt mun gii thch, nhng thy anh ta v cng bc dc, ti cng cm thy hi v l, tri th lnh, n tm cm rang l c m? Ti vn cha kp phn ng th anh ta ng bt dy, ng ng b i. Sau khi anh ta i khi, ti pht hin c mt tp ti liu ri gh ngi. Ti lin cm theo tp tiliu,vivchyrangoiththyanhtaangnghngbnhmdophacui ng, nn ti chy ra a tn tay. Khi nhn thy tp ti liu trong tay ti, anh ta n mt n ci gng go, r rng anh ang cmthyxuhvthilcnycamnh.Anhtaquayngili,khciuvitiv ni: Thi ca anh lc ny tht khng tt, xin li v cm n em, tp ti liu ny v cng qu gi vi anh. Anh ta va ni va mc v ra nh tr n, nhng ti t chi ngay. Suy ngh vi giy, anh a cho ti mt tm danh thip, ni rng sau ny c c hi nht nh s tr n. Tichatngnghrngmnhcnanhtatrn,nncngkhngtm.Nhngtv sau,anhtathngxuynnnhhngtidngba.Mthm,anhtanirngcngty ang cn ngi, nu thch th anh s gii thiu ti vo lm. Sau ny, khi lm vic phng mua sm vt t c bn nm, ti c c ln lm trng phng. Lnh o cng ty cng v cng tin tng vo kh nng ca ti. Thngthngkhigptnhhungkiuny,rtnhiubntrvvabmngon,nns cm thy h h khi pht hin thy khch b qun , c th cn khng thm tm cch tr li . Nhng s chn thnh ca chng thanh nin trn lm cho v khch cm ng, v mang n cho anh mt c hi v cng qu gi i i. C rt nhiu bn tr ni rng mnh khng bit cch giao tip vi ngi khc, bn thn cng khng thy t tin, v vy c rt t bn b. Trn thc t, nhiu khi ch cn bn thc s chn thnh, ngi khc s t khc cm nhn c v s m lng vi bn. Thi gi to, nnh b hay nhng cu ni ngt ngo u mi cht li ch khin cho mi ngidndnrixa bn.Bilschnthnhkhngcvittrnmt,mphixut pht t tri tim. 4. Danh d ng gi ngn vngCn li g nu danh d mt? - Publilius Syrus Ticmtngibnlmphgimctimtcngtyphnmmnh.Cngtythnh lpc7-8nm,minmutuynkhngtccsinhvinmiratrng.Trongqua trnh tip xc, iu khin cu bt mn nht vi th h thanh nin ngy nay, l s v trch nhim, khng gi ch tn. Ni ngn gn, l rt nhiu bn tr ngy ny khng th tin cy c! Ti hi: Ti sao li khng tin cy c? Cu y ni: Khng thnh tht, khng gi ch tn l cn bnh ph bin nht ca thanh nin ngynay.Vdnh,rtnhiusinhvintrngtuynvocngty,nkhicthngbo thi gian i lm chnh thc, h li bin mt m khng h c mt cuc in thoi. Tun trc ti phng vn mt bn tr n lm bi kim tra v phn mm. Khi n ng tuyn, c hai u cm thy hi lng, ti nh gi cao nng lc cu y, cng ty cng c th p ng c yu cu i ng ca cu y. Cui cng chng ti hn cu th hai tun ti bt u n im danh ti cng ty. Vy m ti i n tra vn chng thy cu y u. Ti lin gi in thoi hi, cu y ni va tm c vic ti mt cng ty ngay gn nh, v vy s khng n na. Lc ti tc in ln. Thc ra, nu nh khng n na, cu ta cng ch cn gi mt c in thoi thng bo, hai bn cn bit ng m liu. Nhng vic nh th ny xy ra nhan nhn. Tnh trng ny, ti hiu kh r. Rt nhiu thanh nin cng ging nh anh chng m cu y va k, thch ng ni ny trng ni n. T gc c nhn m ni, vic ny cha hn sai, ai chng mun tm c mt cng vic c iu kin tt nht v ph hp vi mnh nht, thnhng,mtkhingvingikhc,dcholdoclg,iuutinbncn lm l phi chu trch nhim v li ha ca mnh, suy xt xem s tht tn ca mnh s gy ra nhngnhhngnhthnoivingikhc.Chodbnkhngthkhngththa, cng phi thng bo trc h c th sp xp. y cng l mt cch tn trng ngi khc. Thc ra, chng ta c th on nh tng lai ca mt ngi thng qua thi ban u ca h. Ngi tr lun t coi mnh l trung tm, theo ui c tnh ring nhng cng nn c mc v im dng, nu nh khng gii quyt nhng vn ny, con ng ca bn s cng i cng hp! Trongcucsng,chngtacththngxuyngpphinhngngikhnggiliha, banuhvngcchcnhinhngct:Chuynnyctilo!,c,cquyt nh vy i! n khi phi thc hin li ha th mi chng thy bng dng h u, hi h, h s vin ra cc loi l do: Xin li, ti ang bn lm!, hay Khng phi ti c qun u! Nunhngngithngxuynlmvyvibn,bnskhngdmcbyna.Cng th,nubnlngithchchongikhcnbnhv,dndnngitacngskhng mun tip tc mi quan h vi bn, iu dn n vic cc mi quan h ca bn s ngy mt thu hp dn. H lm qun l trong mt xng sn xut gia dng. Tun trc, mt i l gia dng gi in n, nn n H gip h mt vic, l sn xut hai chic t ng lm bng g xoan o th cng. Thng thng vi nhng n hng l th ny, xng s khng nhn lm, th nhng v trc y hai bn tng k mt s hp ng vi nhau, nn duy tr mi quan h lu di, H cng tc li nhn lm. Hai bn giao c n tra th hai tun sau s giao hng, tin trao cho mc. KhiHlnbocochuynny,gimclinkhintrchnngn,niHkhngtunth quy nh ca xng, k c mun gip i l kia n mc no cng khng c ln ln gia cng vic v tnh ring nh vy. K hp ng, vit bin lai, sau mi lm, y l quy tc bt di bt dch ca xng. H nhn mt au kh ni: Nhng em trt ha vi ngi ta ri, gi lm sao y? Gim c nh chp ming, cm bt ln vit vi dng vo giy ri a cho H, bo b phn sn xut cui tun sp xp tng ca, bn thn gim c cng khng mun ngi ta cho rng xng ca mnh ch bit ni m khng bit gi li. Sau , ng cn cnh co H t sau nht nh khng c lm vy. Saumyngytngca,Hchunbxongnhng,mcdkhngnhiu,nhngmi ngi cng phi mt phen vt v. i l r rng ni tra th hai s ch thn qua ly hng, thnhnginchiuvnchathyngiu,Hgiinthoi,udybnkiani rng ang Hi Phng, chc v khng kp, ngy mai s qua ly hng. Hvcngtht vng, nunhthcs khngquac,thch ttheollchscngnn thng bo trc, vy m i l kia coi nh chng c vic g xy ra. Ngythhai,ilkiavnchaxuthin,Hgiinquagic,chonkhihqualy hng,tinnmtntay,Hmidmthphonhnhm,Cthrngtnayvsaunht nh s rt kinh nghim, uy tn ca i l kia cng v th m b st m rt nhiu trong mt H. Xut pht t s tin tng, bt chp vic bn thn b ph bnh, H vn c gng chun b y hngchoilkia.Khngnghlikhngnnhnhngnhgiaohnlcu, khin cho H lo lng. Chc chn nu sau ny i l kia mun H gip thm ln na, H cng skhngddnggtung,biHkhngmunmnhphinmtringlnth hai. Ccbnnnhiurng:chtnnggingnvng,tuytikhngcnichihoc hahnbabi.Nn bitrng, milibnnirau cnhngnhhngnhtnhti ngi khc, ngi khc s mt dn lng tin vi bn sau mi ln bn tht tn, tnh hay qun ca bn cng rt d khin ngi khc lng qun bn mi mi. Ttnhin,nubnlmtngitrngdanhd,hnhxchnthnhvbitgichtn, ngikhcslunmunkt giao vhptc vibn.Nguyntcinhn x thttp ny s gip bn gt hi c nhiu thnh cng hn na trn ng i. Aicngcnphibitchutrchnhimvnhngcunivhnhngcamnh.Bivy, trc khi ha hn mt iu g , bn cn suy xt cn thn, c gng lng trc nhng ri ro c th xy ra. Nu bn thc s coi trng li ha, hy c gng gi li bng mi cch; cn nu cm thy khng th hon thnh cng vic c, phi t chi hoc xin rt li li ha vo thiimthchhp.Thchinliha,valchutrchnhim vingikhc,val chu trch nhim vi hnh tng v tng lai ca bn thn. Ti thm ebook: http://www.taisachhay.com 5. Lun hi hc v lc quan Khi cuc i cho bn c trm l do khc, hy cho i thy bn c c ngn l do ci. Khuyt danh Tng thng M Lincoln tng ni: Theo kinh nghim ca ti, khi mun gii thch hoc ni r mt vn no , phng thc hi hc s khin cho ngi khc d dng tip nhn hn. Ti tin rng, chng ta ai cng mun c sng trong bu khng kh lc quan vui v, ai cng mun c tr chuyn cng nhng ngi bn ha nh, hp dn. Chng hn nh khi ging nhngvnkhcng,ccthycgionothngaranhngvdvuihcsinh hiu bi nhanh hn. Nhng thy c gio nh vy thng c hc tr yu qu v n ch gi ging hn. Giao tip gia ngi vi ngi s sun s hn trong ting ci rn rng. Ti rt thch c ni chuyn cng nhng ngi c c hi hc, bi khi ni chuyn, ti cm nhn c s lc quan v vui v ca h. K c h c gp phi chuyn ti t n my, h u c th mm ci v i mt vi n. Chodlmnghg,avno,chngtavnlunphigiaotipvingikhc.chi hckhngchgipchngtagiaotipmtcchhiuqu,nhtltrongccmiquanh c bit, m cn gip chng ta d dng vt qua kh khn hn. c hi hc gip chng ta xy dng mi quan h hi ha vi ngi khc, khin cho ngi khc tin tng v yu mn chng ta hn. Hoalmtsinhvinmiratrng,mivnchaxincvic,thnhngcvntin tng rng mnh s tm c mt cng vic nh . Mt ln, Hoa gi n xin vic n mt cngtytnhn,hmsaucnhncthngborngckhngtrngtuyn,trongmail vit rng: Rt tic, bn khng c tuyn C l do li h thng, Hoa nhn c c chc bc th vi ni dung ging ht nhau. Th l, Hoa ngu nhin click vo mt mail tr li, c ni: Xin cm n qu cng ty tr li, mail hi m hng lot nh vy chng t chc qu cng ty cng rt n o khi quyt nh khng tuyn em. Ti sao qu cng ty khng cho em mt c hi phng vn trc tip? Nhn vin tuyn dng c xong mail lin bt ci, t m mun xem rt cuc c gi ny l ai, bn hn c mt bui phng vn trc tip. Sau Hoa c nhn vo lm. Trong qu trnh lm vic vi cng v th k gim c, Hoa cng thnh thong la lc ph hp bng a mt cht, gip cho khng kh trong phng lun d chu vui v. Ging nh c ln, gim c chng may lm cc nc ngt xung thm, ng y t trch mnh: Nguy qu! Chc mt lc na c mt on qun kin s b n phng chng ta mt!, Hoa mm ci p: Khng u , kin nc ta ch thch ung tr v nhn trn thi! V gim c btcisngkhoi.Cngnhchihcvtinhthnlcquanvuivmcngvicca Hoa ngy mt tin trin v sun s. Ngi c ti n ni hi hc khng ch khin ngi khc yu qu, m cn c th nhn c nhiu s gip v ng h, cng vic ca h cng d thnh cng hn ngi khc. Bi vy, bn rt nn b sung mt cht c hi hc cho bn thn. Cthbnshi:chihcchngphilbmsinhhaysao?Thcra,chihcc th c nui dng dn dn trong cuc sng. N khng phi l c quyn ca nhng thin ti,nhngngicchsIQcaohaynhngdinvinhiniting.Trongcucsng,ai trong chng ta cng u c th tr nn hi hc hn, ch cn bn n n ci, thng thc vngmnhnsvtbnglngknhtimihn.Dndnnhvy,bnsthotrakhi ni bn khon, kh x, ngy cng tr nn vui v, hi hc hn. Ti c my gi c th cho bn nh sau: Sng lc quan: ngi lc quan cha chc hi hc, nhng ngi hi hc chc chn s lc quan. Kh khn no trong cuc sng cng u c cch ha gii. Vy nn, thay v mt mi v bun b, ti sao chng ta khng mm ci vi n? Mt ngi suy ngh hn hp, t tng tiuccs khngthcchihc.Slcquanchthucv nhngngitrntr nhit huyt vi cuc i, lun im tnh bao dung. K c khi phi tri qua mt cuc sng kh khn, khng nh , cng khng c bn thn tr nn chn nn v vng, cng khng nn lm phin ngi khc bng nhng li on trch s phn, nhng ting th di mt mi, m phi duy tr mt tm trng lc quan, bn thn tr nn bnh tnh v vui v hn. S lc quan ca bn ngay lc c th cha gip tnh hnh cabnttln,nhngtronggiaotip,ngipchobnvnhngngixungquanhcm thy nh nhng hn. Hy tin rng vi ngi lc quan, khng g l khng th gii quyt. Mrngtrithc:Hihclmtbiuhincatrtu,nphicxydngtrnnn mng ca mt h thng tri thc phong ph. Mt ngi hiu bit rng, bt kp thi i mi c c ngn t phong ph, xut khu thnh vn, t mi lm ch c s hi hc ca bn thn. Vvy,chngtacnphicgngtraudikinthc,chmchcsch.Khihiubitca bn tr nn phong ph, bn s d dng giao tip vi ngi khc mt cch ung dung t ti, hi hc th v. Lin tng thch hp: n ni hi hc nhiu khi cn cht t khoa trng, nhng khng phi l khoa trng ly l, mc ch cui cng ca cu chuyn ch l thm ting ci. Mun nh vy, ngi ni phi c c lin tng phong ph. Nh trit hc ngi M George Santana la chn mt ngy ni li tm bit cuc i ging dy ti trng i hc Havard ca mnh. Hm , khi n tit cui, bng mt ch chim chch che t u bay n u trn ca s lp hc, ct ting ht vo von. Santana mi mngmnhnchchim,hilusau,ngttquaysangnhnhngnilitbit:Xin c co bit mi ngi, ti cn c hn vi ma xun. Dt li, ng mm ci bc i. Cu kt tuyt p, trn y th, li im xuyt thm cht hi hc khin mi ngi nhit lit v tay. Vic luyn tp mt cch c thc kh nng phn tch v ng bin nhanh i vi s vic s gip ch cho s lin tng ca bn. Khngngngtchly:cngcnhiu,xemnhiu,nghenhiu,hcnhiunhngngunti liuhihcthchngtacngckhnngmphng,rtravvndngtt.Chnghn, bn thng xuyn c cc tc phm vn hc hoc c nhng mu truyn hi hc trn bo, thngxuyngiinhngcumo,chngmychcknnghihccabnsc nng cao. Cui cng, trong qu trnh vn dng kh nng hi hc, nht nh phi ch n hon cnh v i tng ang giao tip, nhng cu ni hi hc phi mang tnh thn thin, lnh mnh. C nh vy khi lng nghe bn ni, ngi khc mi cm nhn c ti hoa v tr tu ca bn, nhng cu ni a th tc hay thp km s ch lm h cm thy chn ght m thi. 6.Hai giy quyt nh vn mnh Chng ta nm gi vn mnh ca chnh mnh ch khng phi cc v sao. - William Shakespeare C mt cu thanh nin n khi i phng vn xin vic, v ci lch cc o nn li n tng xu trong mt v trng phng nhn s. Mc d trong bui phng vn, anh ta th hin rt tt, tr li rnh mch, trn tru mi cu hi c a ra, nhng cui cng vn khng c nhn vo lm. Ctrltm,bnhitrngphngnguynnhntisao,cutrlil:Mtngim ngay c b ngoi ca mnh cng khng ch , lm sao c th t m trong cng vic c? C th trong i, t nht mt ln bn gp tnh hung: khi tip xc vi mt s ngi, gia bnvhchnthunlquanhxgiaokhngmythnthit,thnhngmicch, hnhng cahutotrascunhtllng,li chobnn tngsusc.V vy, bn cm thy qu mn v mong rng s tip tc c gp li h ln sau. Nhng cng c mt s ngi, d c khoe khoang hoc c qung co l gii giang n mc no, nhng ch cn lic mt qua l bn cm thy thiu thin cm v khng mun gp g, tip xc na. Mc d nhng ngi ny khng c quan h mt thit vi bn, th nhng chnh thi ca hskhinchobncquytnhtiptcgiaothipvihnakhng,vnhntnh hng n quyt nh ny, khng g khc chnh l n tng u tin m h li cho bn. Thc ra, n tng ny cha hn lc no cng chnh xc, nhng n li rt r rng v su sc. ivinhngngimchngtacntngtt,ttnhinchngtamuntiptctr chuynvtraoi vi h,vinhngngili n tngkhng tt,chngtakhtrnh khivicnysinhccm,vnghmuncttmiquanhslptcxuthintrong u. Mc d chng ta vn thng ni, khng nn nh gi con ngi bng hnh thc bn ngoi, nhngi asmingivnuphnonngiidintt hayxuthngquadin mo bn ngoi ngay trong ln gp u tin. C nhng lc, ngi ta ch cn lic mt nhn bn mt ci, l quyt nh mt c hi, hay thm ch l c cuc i ca bn. Ch Hoa lm trng phng nhn s ca mt cng ty t nhn. Mt bui, ch c lch phng vn hai th sinh n ng tuyn v tr tr l k hoch. Haicginylbnhccnglp,cvrtthnthit,thnhngtnhcchlihonton tringc.Khichangngitrongphng,cgixinhp,vcdngcnigcavo phng vn trc, gu n mc snh iu, nh mt lng ling v mi nc hoa thm phc lm ch ch , xem ra cng l mt hot girl chnh hiu. So vi c gi ny, c gi th hai bc vo phng vi v mc mc nhu m, khng trang im cuk,dngnhlngmychkquamtcht,miimchtsonhngnhnhng, nhng t cung cch n ni cho n cch mm ci nheo mt u tot ln mt v mc mc d gn, b cng s c mc tuy n gin nhng li va vn, tn ln vc dng thanh mnh a nhn. Cui cng, ch quyt nh chn c gi th hai, l do l bi, ngay t ci nhn u tin, ch cm thy c gi u tin mc d xinh p, n mc thi thng nhng li li n tng cao ngo v c v khng t m; c gi th hai mc d tnh cch c v kh hng ni, nhng li khin ngi khc cm thy s tinh t, nhy cm ca mnh, mi li c y ni ra u suy ngh k cng. y chnh l nhng t cht cn phi c ca v tr tr l k hoch. ng b ta c cu: Trng mt m bt hnh dong, ngoi hnh c th phn nh trc tip tnh cch, kh cht ca mt ngi. N lun l thc o u tin trc khi ngi khc mun lm quen hay nhn xt ti nng ca bn. Cc nghin cu tm l hc chng minh, trong nhng n tng u tin vi ngi khc, c trn 50% thng tin n t ngoi hnh. Ngoi hnh ca bn l mt trong nhng iu kin quantrngquytnhnvicngikhccnghbnngtinhaykhng.ycngl iu kin hng u quyt nh xem ngi khc s i x vi bn ra sao. Nu nh bn li ntngxuthphimtrtnhiuthigianhiunhauvthayintngny.Ni cch khc, trong cc mi quan h x hi, bc sai bc u tin, th ln sau, d c c gng n u cng kh m sa cha c na. Lngitr,khilnugpmtai,chngtaumunngikhcccmtnhvi mnh.Khiiphngvnxinvic,khiktgiaobnb,khilmquentntnh,chngail khng mun li n tng tt p. Nu mun nh vy, trc ht bn cn phi n lc hc hi, bn mun ngi khc n tng v mnh th no, th bn cn phi th hin nh th. Vy th lm th no khin ngi khc c n tng tt v mnh y? Di y l nhng gi dnh cho bn. Trang phc chnh t, ph hp: khi bn khoc ln mnh b trang phc sch s, gn gng, va vn, ngi khc s cm nhn c s nghim tc, nhit tnh ca bn; ngc li, nu bn n vn lum thum s khin ngi khc cm thy bn t nhiu l k nng cn, li bing. Nu l bn, bn mun kt giao vi kiu ngi no hn? Nhng ngnh ngh hay lnh vc khc nhau s c nhng tiu chun thm m v phong cch thi trang khc nhau. C quan nh nc, trng hc yu cu trang phc chnh t, nhng b qunohaykiutcqumtskhngphhpvimitrngcngvicniy;cn nhng cng ty gii tr tin tc, truyn thng vn ngh th khng cn qu nghim tc. Nhng i vi nhng bn tr va tt nghip ra trng, d l lm vic lnh vc no, tt nht, bn vn nn n mc gn gng, n gin, thoi mi, trnh nh hng n hnh tng ca bn thn. Khngnn cqunhiungtctha: khi giaotip trcdin,bnkhng nncnhng ngtclmnhhngnqutrnhtrchuyngiahaingi.Nukhinichuynm bn c mi vut tc, nghch in thoi, chnh sa qun o, tay chn t lung tung th cng c ngha rng bn khng c cht tn trng ti thiu no vi ngi i din. V mt ch , mm ci nh nhng: D cho c gng che y cm xc bng nhng iu b, c ch hoc phc sc bn ngoi, mt lc no trong cuc giao tip, cm xc ca bn cng s bc l ra. Rt nhiu bn tr khi c cuc hn thng ch ch n nhng vn nh c vt c b lch khng? Mu c vt c tip vi o s mi khng?, Tc n cha? m qun mt tmquantrngcantmt.Trckhigpmtai,bnhyngtrcgngngm nhnmtcht,xemntmtcamnhhmnayliucgkhclhaykhng,nunhqu cng thng, tt nht l nn t ci ngc mt ci c mt gin ra, gim bt p lc. 7. Tuyn truyn bn thn mt cch c mc ch Bnbcvothgiinychngcg, v mc ch cuc i chnh l lm nn c iu g t hai bn tay trng. -Henry Louis Mencken C mt bn tr n rt kh tm v s t nht ca mnh. Cu ni: Trong mt cuc tr chuyn, em lun ch l ngi ngi nghe, t khi dm m li ni chuyn, smnhninngvduynkhinbnbcich.Ccbnthngniemtrmtnh,c ngi cn bo em khim tn, nhng thc ra khng phi vy. Khi i cng ngi khc, em c cm gic lun b b ri, d l vi bn thn hay ngi l cng vy. R rng em cng c nhiu ti l, thnh tch hc tp lc no cng thuc top 10 ca lp, nhng khng ni ra th chng ai bit v nhng iu . Nhn thy ngi khc th hin bn thn,emlikhngdmlm,dndnmingiunghemchlmtavtchs, chng lm c g ra hn. Cn na, khi b ch ci hoc bt nt, em cng khng bit phi x tr th no, nh phi im lngchutrn,khngdmtral mnhtcginhayphnn,vs rngslmphtlng mingi.Emthcskhngbitlmsaothhinchnhmnh,lmsaotarath ho quang vn c ca bn thn. Chng ta, ai cng mun tr thnh ngi xut sc, mun nhn c nhng li khen ngi v xy dng c hnh tng tt p trong mt mi ngi. Nhng t c nhng iu , iu u tin cn lm l phi hiu r chnh mnh. Rt nhiu bn tr ngy nay b mc bnh xu h, h khng dm cho ngi khc c hi tm hiumnh,chaninvicthhinbnthnrangoi.Cngcmtsbntrchorng nuthhinbnthnthscngphignhthmnhiutrchnhim,thnnhlachn giiphpimlngnhbaongikhc.Nukhngthhintinngcamnhrangoi, ngi khc s khng hiu r nng lc ca bn, dn dn trong bn ny sinh tm l bt mn, chorngmnhtihoanhngkhnggpthi.Mcdchmngnccu:Lvngth trc sau g cng pht sng, nhng trong thi i ra ng l gp nhn ti nh ngy nay, bn c dm khng nh rng ho quang ca mnh khng b che m bi ngi khc? Thhinbnthnmtcchvaphisgipchobntrnyttinvnnglng,sc mnhnysgipbncngcnglchonthinchnhmnh.Lmtngitr,bn khngchcnthhintinngcabnthn,quantrnghn,bncntuyntruynbn thn mt cch c mc ch. ChuyngiaqunlngunnhnlcMColemanchorng:Bnccthngchchay khng,iuquantrngnhtkhngnmvicbnnlchaykhng,mphthucvo vic lnh o nhn nhn bn nh th no. Nh vy l, vic c ngi khc cng nhn i khicnquantrnghncnnglc.Vynn,numuntcscngnhncami ngi, u tin bn phi cho h mt l do lm iu . Vy lm th no tuyn truyn bn thn mt cch c mc ch? u tin, phi t tin vi chnh mnh. tuyntruynchobnthn,trctinbncnphi khngnhnnglccamnh.Bt c lc no, bn cng phi coi mnh l nhn vt chnh, khng ngng c v cho s c gng ca bn thn. LyvTrangcnglnhnvinthctptimtcngtyn,thigianthctplbathng, ncuikcngtyschchnmtngi.Hainginlmcmtthng,ktqu thng thua coi nh r, Ly c gi li, cn Trang phi ra i. Vo mt ngy, gim c b tr cho hai ngi cng lm mt nhim v, vi nng lc v kinh nghim ca Trang v Ly, nhim v ny thc s rt kh hon thnh. Trang a mt nhn qua phng n hng mc, cho rng gim c c tnh lm kh mnh, nn c quyt khng lm; Ly li khng ngh vy, c cho rng gim c giao nhim v ny chng t c c kh nng hon thnh c, nu khng gim c chc chn s khng giao. Th l Ly cp sch v i nh cc bctinbitrongcngtychbothm,nghincuspxptiliuthumsutsng, cuicng,ccnghonthnhboconpchogimc.Mcdbocovncha c hon ho, nhng cng th hin r nng lc ca Ly, vy nn gim c quyt nh gi c li. y, chng ta nhn thy c s t tin v sc mnh. Mt t tng tch cc c th dn bn inthnhcng,vmtttngtiucccthqutngbnngaytrckhibnkp hnh ng. S t tin c th chuyn ha thnh ng lc tch cc, gip chng ta to ra ca ci vt cht v ginh c nhng thnh tu to ln trong s nghip. Th hai, bit cch ng gi bn thn. Cngging nhkhichngtamuamtmnno,ivinhngsnphmcngloi, khikhngphnbitcchtlngbntrong,chngtathngchnbaobbn ngoi, xem cht lng bao b ng gi ra sao, dng ch con s c c r nt hay khng, ai lngiidinqungcoBaobgi,kmchtlngthngkhngsocvihng chnh hng, bng con mt nhn xt ch quan ca bn thn, chng ta s quyt nh nn chn sn phm no. Hnh tng c nhn c coi l tm danh thip ca chng ta khi bc chn ra ngoi x hi, bnthnccnggithnhcnghaykhng,iunysclinquanmtthitti tincabn.Dltrongtnhyuhaytrongcngvic,nunggitt,bnsnhn c nhiu c hi hn so vi ngi khc. ng gi y bao gm c bn trong ln bn ngoi. Bn ngoi ch v vic xy dng hnh tng t bn ngoi ca bn, khin ngi khc thch th v mun tip cn vi bn. Hin nay, rtnhiucngtyuchtrngnhnhtngbnngoicaccngvinkhithamgia tuyn dng. Tt nhin, ng gi bn thn y khng c ngha l chng ta c th lm gi c, v vy mt ngi khng ch cn n mc p , thu ht nh nhn, quan trng hn, chng ta cn ch trng n vic bi dng kh cht v nhn cch ca bn thn. y cng l phm tr ng gi bn trong m ti cp n, v d nh s thnh tht ng tin, tri thc uyn bc, hoc l simmphngkhongbncnphichongikhccmnhncttcnhng iu ny mt cch r rng thng qua tng c ch, hnh ng ca bn thn. N i hi bn phikhngngnghonthin,trauditrithc,trthnhmtconngicnitmvc tnh su sc. Cui cng, thng xuyn tm c hi cho chnh mnh. Mt s ngi thng tm nim Chn nhn bt l tng. H cho rng trong cng vic cng nh cuc sng, c im lng lm vic l c, ri mt ngy ti nng ca h s c pht hin v trng dng. Th nhng, nhiu khi nhng ngi nh vy li phi hng chu kt cc khng nhmongmun,dctinhngcihkhngthtmctdngv.Nusovi nhng ngi c c hi nhng khng c ti nng, th nhng ngi c nng lc nhng khng c c c hi, trong lng h cn cm thy phn ut hn gp vn ln. Thi thong khi i do trn ng hay trong cng vin, ti thng thy mt s ngi ht du ca, trn tay m n ghi ta, ming ht nhng bi no n cay ng, chic hp t trc mt, nhngngiiquathngtnhbthving.Cmtln,bntithcmc:Nhng ngi ny trng cng p trai, ti sao mt li dy vy nh, on ng nhiu ngi qua li thny,mtngykimcnimychcnghn?Vnscdivairngtisaokhngi kim mt ngh g m lm nh? Ti cho rng, mc ch ca h khng phi kim tin, mtmchi.Thcratirtphch,vtitngbitcrtnhiucasthukhi nghipuphiihtdo,hochtphngtrminph,cnglrnluynchobn thn v kim tm c hi. Bi th, s tht y rt n gin: Bn khng nng lc ca mnh c ta sng, vy liu ai s bit? Thi i ngy nay cn nhng con ngi dm chng t ti nng ca mnh vi x hi, ch c nh vy, bn mi c th tm c ch ng, mi thc hin c gi tr cuc sng m bn thn vn hng hng n. 8. Giao tip cn bt u t l nghi iu bn ni khng quan trng, quan trng l cch bn ni; ni n giu b mt ca thi gian. William Carlos Williams L nghi l nhng chun mc v quy phm hnh vi m chng ta cn phi tun th trong hot ng giao tip x hi, l nhng phng php th hin s tn trng, thi tn trng i vi ngi khc, qua c th th hin nhng t cht v s tu dng ca mt ngi. Ngi hiu l nghi s d dng c ngi khc tip nhn, khi h i nhn x th, ngi i din c th cm thy s tn trng, thi trng th, sc ht v nhn cch ca h. L nghi khng phi l c t ra cho ngi khc thy, m phi xut pht t s chn thnh v thin t ni tm. D l khi giao tip hay khi lm vic, l nghi l bi hc u tin m thanh nin cn phi hc tp. phn ny, ti s cn c theo cc bc giao tip c bn lit k ra nhng l nghi m chng ta cn phi ch . Xng h Btklkhinichuyntrctiphaytrninthoi,vicbnnhrhtnvxngh mt cch chun xc vi i phng s khin h cm thy hi lng. Bi v bn nh c tn ca h, chng t h c mt v tr nht nh trong tri tim bn. i vi mt ngi m chng ta khng , chng ta thng khng mun mt cng ghi nh tn ca h. Nu nh khi va xnghmbnkhiniphngcmthykhngvui,vdnhqunmttn,hoc nh nhm sang tn ngi khc, vic giao tip s rt d gp phi tr ngi. Khi xng h vi ngi khc, phi khin cho h cm thy s tn trng m bn dnh cho h, phi c trt t trn di r rng. Hin nay, c rt nhiu ngi phn nn rng, th h 9x khi xnghvingilntuirttkhibitdvngthaginghong,hoclquenni chuyn trng khng. Ngoi ra, cc bn tr rt thch t bit danh cho ngi khc, y cng l vic bnh thng, nhng nn nh tuyt i khng c gi bit danh ca ngi ln, sp, hay nhng ngi m mnhvaquenbit,bilmnhvysdkhinhnghrngbnkhngcoihrag,kt qu l bn s b mt im y! Bt tay Khi bt tay, cn phi truyn t thi knh trng m bn dnh cho i phng. Khi bt tay ngikhc,cbitlkhchhng,cnduytrthinhittnhvttin,nunhqu nghim tc, lnh nht hoc run ry bi ri, i phng s cho rng bn khng coi trng h, t h cng s c thi nh vy vi bn. Khi bt tay khng c tay cn li t trong ti qun, y cng l mt phng thc th hin s tn trng, ging nh vic b m khi cho ngi c cp bc ln hn mnh. Cc bn cn phi nh im ny, thng thng ngi c a v cao hn s gi tay ra trc, ngi c a v thp hn s ch ng tin ra bt tay; ngi ln tui hn v ph n cng s gi tay ra trc. V vy, bo m rng mnh khng tht l, d i phng c ln tui hay khng,cpbccaohaythp,giitnhrasao,ttnhtlnniiphnggitayra trc, bn khng nn ch ng bt tay h. Ngoi ra, thi gian bt tay khng c qu lu, lc nm cng nn va phi. Nu nh bn l con trai, i phng l con gi, thi gian bt tay cng phi nhanh chng; nu nh cng gii tnh, biu th s nhit tnh, bn c th nm lu hn mt cht, nhng cng khng nn qu lu, lc nm cng nn va phi. C ly Khi giao tip vi ngi khc, phi ch duy tr khong cch nht nh, vi nhng mi quan h khc nhau cng s c c ly giao tip khc nhau. Mt chuyn gia nhn loi hc cho rng c ly giao tip c th chia lm bn loi: c ly thn mt,thngdnggiachamvconci,vchnghocilayunhau;clycnhn, thngdngchobnb;clyxhi,dngchoccmiquanhctnhchtcngkhai nhng khng phi quan h c nhn, v d nh cp trn cp di, khch hng v ngi bn hng; c ly cng chng, v d nh gia hc sinh v thy c gio, din gi v ngi nghe. Trongqutrnhgiaotip,bnkhngcbcngn ngikhcmkhng thngbo trc bng nh mt, tay hay li ni. Khng c php bc vo phm vi an ton ca ngi khc(clymtbcchn)nukhngphibnbthnthit.Chngtacngkhngc chm vo c th ngi khc khi cha c s ng ca h. Nhng hnh vi nh v vai, xoa u, v vo lng ch c th c thc hin khi c hai u cng nhn nhau l bn b thn thit. Trong cc tnh hung x giao thng thng, bn nn lu gi khong cch vi ngi xung quanh.Khngngqugnhtrkhiccbnlnhngbnbthnthitcanhau.Nu phi tin li gn ai nh bc vo thang my, xp hng, bn nn xin li trc. C ly giao tip ng vai tr rt quan trng trong giao tip. Nu l khch hng hoc mi quan h x giao, bn nn cch h tm hai cnh tay, tc l bn phi to cho h mt khng gian di chuyn v hot ng thoi mi. Trongmt strnghpgiao tip,clycththayimtcht,nhngdthno,bn cng phi m bo mt c ly c th thch hp vi i phng, c ly qu xa s khin h cm thy xa l, c ly qu gn s khin h cm thy kh chu. T gii thiu Ngn ng khi dng t gii thiu cn phi lu lot, ngn gn sc tch. Bi ni qu nhiu khng nhng bin bn thnh k lm nhm, m ngi i din cng cha chc nh c ht. tit kim thi gian, khi t gii thiu v bn thn, bn c th dng danh thip. C mt im cn ch , l nht nh khng c b qua tn ca mnh. Ni dung dng gii thiu thng thng bao gm h tn, qu qun, ngh nghip, chc v, n v cng tc hoc a ch, tt nghip trng no, s trng, kinh nghim, s thch Tt nhin,cncnctheonhucuthctquytnhnngiithiunhngnidungno, khng nht thit phi k mt lot nhng thng tin trn. ng trc mt lnh o hoc bc trn,cnphicungknhkhimnhng,cnivinhngngicngtuihocng nghip, nn ni nng r rng, i thng vo ch chnh. Giao lu Khi chuyn tr, cn duy tr t th ng hoc ngi thng lng. Ming mm ci, nt mt ha nh l biu hin ca s hu ho. Khi ni chuyn nn nhn thng vo mt i phng, ng nn t ra ngi ngng. Bn cn phi duy tr s tip xc mt vi h, khng nn n trnh hay ng l xung quanh. Khi ni chuyn, m vc, ng iu, tc ni phi thch hp, ngn ng biu t phi r rng, khng nn n ni vng vo. Khi i phng ni chuyn, khng ch cn t ra nghim tc, kin nhn lng nghe, cn phi kpthiphnngbytshngthcabnivinidungcuchuyn,vdnh Tht vy sao?, Khng th tin c! hay Ti cng ngh vy! Nu nh khng nghe r hoc khng hiu nhng g i phng va ni g, tuyt i khng nn i p mt cch qua loa, hy ngh i phng nhc li. Chng hn, bn c th ni: Xin li, ti khng hiu ca bn lm, c th ni c th hn mt cht c khng? iu s th hin bn vn ang tp trung lng nghe v cm thy hng th vi cu chuyn h k. Ch , khng c ngt li xen ngang khi i phng ang ni. Cho tm bit Nu cuc tr chuyn ca bn cha c du hiu dng li, nhng bn li c khch n thm v i phng xin php co t, bn nn mi h li thm cht na mt cch chn thnh. Bt lun i phng l bn b n thm hay mi quan h giao tip trong cng vic, khi i phng ra v, nht nh bn phi tin ra n ca hoc xa hn (ty theo hon cnh v mi quan h). Khng nn vi v ng ca ngay, lm nh vy s khin h ngh rng bn va ui h ra ngoi. Nu bn gh thm nh ngi khc, nht nh khng c tr hn, khng c chim dng qu nhiu thi gian ca ch nh, phi chn thi im thch hp ch ng co lui. Cui cng, c mt s chi tit nh cn phi lu . Nu bn thn bn mc li no , cn kp thi m li xin li, v d nh khi hai bn gp mt, bn n mun, nu bit rng i phng chrtlu,nhtnhbnphixinthli,chmtcuXinli,bniluqu!s khin i phng cm thy thoi mi v nh gi tt thi ca bn trc khi bt u vo cu chuyn. 9. Ch ng lm quen v khen ngi Mtlngnhlikhennggibngcm khinhmit.Mtgitkhuynkhchcch hn c gu bi quan. Mt chn lng tt tt hn c t ph phn. -William Arthur Ward Cnhnglcbngpphitnhhungnhsau:Trongcuchnhtrnh,bnicngmt ngilno,bnmunnichuyncnghgitthigiannhngiphngvn khngmli,vynnbnvhcimlngmi,ringainyi.Thnhng,nui phng ch ng but ra mt cu g , k c ch l cu t lm bm: Pht in vi ci thititnymtthi,bncngstiplimtcchrttnhin:Mactunrinh, khng bit bao gi mi nng y, bt u t thi tit, cng ni chuyn, ch ca cc bn cngnhiuhn,ncuithmchcntraoithngtincnhn,trthnhbnb.iu ny chng t rng, trong hon cnh c vi ngi khng quen bit nhau, ch cn mt ngi ch ng m li, nhng ngi khc t khc cng s c can m bt u cuc ni chuyn. Mt ln khi ngi trn xe but, mt c gi xinh p thu ht nh nhn ca Huy, cng trng hp hn l, c gi li xung xe cng anh, ri li cng bc vo ta nh vn phng ngay gn . Sau ny cng c vi ln, Huy gp c y khi trn xe but hoc trong cu thang my, nhng c hai u khng ni cu g. Thc ra, Huy rt mun lm quen vi c gi xinh p ny, mun c kt bn vi c, th nhng anh vn khng dm m li. Cui tun Huy phi lm tng ca cng ty, khi bc ra ca, i vo thang my, pht hin ra c gi n li trong thang my. C y mc chic o T-shirt gn gng, qun sooc en tn ln i chn trng ngn, trn vai khoc mt chic ti big-size, t c tot ln v khe khon trn y sc sng. Huy thm ngh ng l duyn s ri, hm nay d th no cng phi lm quen vi c y bng c.Vhmnaylcuitun,trongthangmycngchngcai,Huyhtmthily bnh tnh, ct li: Trng hp qu! Chng ta hay gp nhau tht y Ni n y, mt Huy dn ti tn mang tai. ng vy, hnh nh l nm ln ri! Huy khng ng c y li nh r n vy, chng t c y cng ti mnh. Huy hi tip: Hm nay em cng phi tng ca ? Khng,emqualytthi.Bnemkhngphilmtngca!,cgimmcitrli. Huy cn cha kp ngh ra cu g ni, c y hi: Anh hay phi lm thm phi khng? .. Hm,haingitrchuynsaysasutchngnginbnxebut,cmthyv cng hp c, lc ny Huy mi bit c y tn l Hoa, thk vn phng ca cng ty, vy m trc kia anh chng h hay bit. Tcuchuyntrnchngtacththy,chngnichuynlbcutincaqu trnh kt giao bn b. Trong cuc sng hin nay, vn cn rt nhiu bn tr t ra b ng trong giao tip, h him khidmchnglmquenviai.Nguynnhnchyulvmttml.Mtlvhs rng cu m li lm quen ca mnh s khng c ngi kia hng ng hay tr li, khin bn thn ri vo cnh ngi ngng kh x, v lm h mt th din; hai l ngh rng: Vic g mnh phi lm quen trc? Ging nh kiu nnh b ngi ta vy! Hai loi tm l trn thc ra u phin din. Hy th ngh xem, khi ngi khc ch ng ni chuynvibn,bncchornghangnnhb,vbnskhngthmmxanh khng? Tt nhin l khng ri! V vy, khi bn do d khng dm ch ng lm quen v mt suynghno,ttnhtlnnththchnhxemsao,hydngthctchngminh rng s lo lng ca bn l tha. Vic khng ngng th nghim nh vy s gip bn tch ly c kinh nghim, tng thm s t tin. Bn c th m u cu chuyn bng nhng cu hi nh sau: Xin l i, cho ti hi my gi ri? Bn i Hi Phng , ti cng n , chng mnh c th i chung. Mi ln n y u gp bn, trng hp tht. Bn n y ln u ? Trong cuc sng, thc ra chng ta u tng c kinh nghim lm quen ca ring mnh, v d nh hi ng, hi gi. Nhng l nhng khi bt c d, khng th khng lm, v vy biuhingngmtcngnhthisrttnhin.Thnhngvimcchlmquen hoctntnh,vicmlinhthnothcsskhinchngtacmthycngthngv mt t tin, bi bn s rng ngi kia s c tuyt hoc t ra lnh nht, khin lng t trng ca bn b tn thng. Phng thc lm quen thc ra c rt nhiu, nu cha dm bt chuyn vi ngi l, bn c th t lm bm mt mnh. Chng hn nh bn n im thi qu sm, cc th sinh u phi ng ngoi ca i, lc ny, bn c th t ni mt mnh: Hnh nh mnh n qu sm th phi!, sau mm ci vi ngi bn mun lm quen, lm nh vy c ngha rng bn m ng cho ngi khc, nu hng th vi bn, h s ch ng tip li, cn nu khng, bn cng khng b lm vo tnh th kh x. Cn c mt phng php kh hay, l c tnh ni sai mt vic g m i phng c th bit r, sau i i phng m li nh chnh. Chng tr nh ny khng ph i l 8 gi mi c , sao by gi pht ri nh! , y l phtl i ca tun trc thi. Khiphthinrasaistcaai,asmingislptcnhchnh,gingnhmt phn x bn nng ca loi ngi vy. Sau khi lm quen thnh cng, bn c th tin ln bc tip theo gip hai bn tm hiu nhau. Nu cm thy h th v v rt mun c kt bn vi h, bn cn phi bit cch nnh nt. V d nh: Chng mnh l ng hng y! T v cu cn cng tt nghip trng S phm y. T tng cng tc ti qu cu mt thi gian. T tng xem qua bi vit ca cu, tht s rt hay! Nnh nt nghe c v l mt t khin chng ta cm thy c cm, th nhng n li rt c li trong cuc sng hng ngy, bn c th s dng nhng t ng nnh nt mt cch ph hp ko gn khong cch gia hai bn. Nnh nt y ch yu l tm ra nhng im chung vqukh,sthch,cmca haibn,dngnhngimchunglmminhtora mt bu khng kh d chu hn cho qu trnh tr chuyn, t ginh c thin cm v s tung hng ca i phng. Mcd,nnhntcthmanglihiuqukhngtichovicphttrinmiquanhx giao, th nhng bn cn ch , khng c ng c lm quen ca bn tr nn qu thc dng, iu s khin i phng cm thy l bch. Ngoi ra, khi nnh nt cng cn ch n l nghi v tc phong ca bn.Khng c mang n cm gic kh chu, hay tm l phng choi phng, c bit vi ngi khc gii, cng cn phi c chng mc, nu i phng khng cm thy hng th, tuyt i khng c mt dy theo ui bng c. 10.Cgngtrnhtranhlunvingi khc Ngitasngnhtinvoiug:khngphinhbnlunvtranhcivqunhiu th. -Thomas Carlyle Trc khi bt u phn ny, bn hy suy ngh mt vi vn sau y: Trong thi gian gn y, bn c tranh lun v xung t vi ai khng? Ti sao li nh vy? i vi nhng cuc tranh lun nh vy, bn thy c ngha g khng? Vic tranh lun liu c lm nh hng n mi quan h v tnh bn gia hai ngi? By gi nhn li bn c suy ngh g? Nu chuyn xy ra ln na, bn vn s tranh ci gay gt ch? Trongcucsng,ckhngtbntrtnhtnhbpchp,thngnhrutnga,gpmt chuyn nh thi cng khin h ni mu tranh ci n cng, mun ngi khc phi qu gi xin tha th mi h d v c v cm thy v cng sung sng vi vic ny. Th nhng, ngoi vickhinbnthntrnnhiuthngtrongmtmingi,nhngcuctranhlunv ngha thc cht chng c im g tch cc. Vo th k 19, tng thng M Abraham Lincoln c mt v s quan tr cp di tnh tnh rt ngngnh,btcchuynganhtacngcthtranhlunncng.Chnhvvytrong n v, anh ta v ng i thng xuyn xy ra ci v, nh hng khng tt n tinh thn onktchung.Lincolnbitchuynlinphtcnhcoanhtavnirng,nngmun lmnnnghiplnthkhngnntnhtonsoonhngchuynvtvnh,vamtthi gian ca mnh v ca ngi khc. Nhng cuc tranh lun v ch khng ch lm tn hi n tnh tnh ca bn thn, m cn khin cho chng ta mt i kh nng t kim ch. Trong tnh hung cha n mc nghim trng, ti sao khng nhn nhng mt cht? Cng mt s vic, nhng mi ngi li c quan im khc nhau, v lp trng c nhn, thn phn, bi cnh gia nh v trnh gio dc ca mi ngi mt khc. Lc ny, rt d xy ra tranh lun gia hai bn v bt ng quan im. Bt lun l v xut pht t tt, mun sa chaquanimsailmcaiphnghayldomtphtbcnghiuthng,tranh lun u l vic rt nhy cm. Mt s ngi khi ni chuyn thng c s thch vi dp ngi khc, ngi khc va ni ra quan im ca mnh, h lin cc lc phn i: Khng phi nh th, Cu ni sai ri sau bt u b l ba la v quan im ca mnh. Nu i phng l ngi im m, h skhngnigthm,nhngnugpphimtithcngngangbngkhngkm,li musnhanhchngbthibngthnhmtcucciv.Dltnhhungnochng na, ni chuyn cng nhng ngi nh vy s khin chng ta khng thoi mi cht no. V vy, khi tr chuyn x giao, trnh nhng tranh lun khng ng c, chng ta cn nh nhng iu sau y. Cho i phng c hi ni Khi i phng ni iu g bt ng quan im vi bn, nn h ni ht, khng c ct li, ci khy hay nhy vo tranh lun. Nu khng, c hai s hiu lm nhau v mi quan h gia hai ngi s b rn nt. Chu l mt nhn vin kinh doanh tr xut sc ca cng ty. Cu thng gip cng ty kim c nhng n hng tr gi hng trm triu khin ai ny u thm trm tr, ngng m. Nhng sau mt thi gian, Chu bt u ging ging t c. Trng phng ca Chu, vn lngidydn,nhiukinhnghimtrongcngvic,drtcoitrngnnglccaChu nhng khng mun Chu sm kiu ngo m vp phi nhng tht bi khng ng c, mun un nn ci ti ca Chu mt cht, sau s khen ngi thnh tch ca anh. Trngphngvactli:Thanhnincnbitkimchbnthn,phihccchkhim tn Chunghethyvylinkhngvui,mtbinsc:Emlpcnhiuthnhtchnhvy, sao li khng c ni? Trng phng nghe vy cng rt khng bng lng, cm thy Chu qu t ph, but ming: Cu vn cha u vo u m bt u sng trn my ri h? Th l c hai bt u mt cuc tr chuyn chng ly g lm vui v. Crtnhiukiunichuyn.Nhiukhi,nhngcunibanumbnngheccha chc l ton b ngh m ngi kia mun biu t. Mi ngi thng dng mo Khen trcchsauhocChtrckhensau,nunhminghecmtnambn mun u khu li ngay th rt d gy ra hiu lm. V vy, phi i phng ni ht nhng g cn ni, nm r suy ngh ca h, sau mi bt u tranh lun nu cn thit. Cn phi lun im tnh Khixyrabtngkinvingikhc,nhtnhphigimtciulnh.Phingh xemcuctranhlunnyliucnghagkhng.ivinhngngikhngmythn thithocnhngchuynvtvnh,ttnhtbnnnimlng,chninhnggmnh thch.ivinhngngivncthnhkinvibn,trckhimlicngnncn trng, nu khng hnh tng ca bn s cng b tn hi. Khi ni chuyn, cn ni v chuyn, khng ni v ngi. Ti khng ngh vi c ny c th hon thnh nhanh chng (ni v chuyn). Ti khng ngh c u c th hon thnh vic ny nhanh chng (ni v ngi). Haicchnitrngntngtnhau,nhngvinginghelikhcnhaumttrimt vc. Vi cch ni u tin, i phng s p: Ti s c gng hon thnh n tt nht c th, cn cch ni th hai, rt c th h s p tr: Cu l ci th g m nghi ng nng lc ca ti? C nhng lc, chng ta v tnh chm ngi n chin tranh theo cch nh vy, khi tranh ci v tnh cp n ngi lin quan trc tip (k c gin tip) n cu chuyn, t bt u niranhngcumangtnhcngkchhocchmbim.Aicngclngttrng,mtkhi bn xm phm n lng t tn ca h, ngn la s ngy cng d di. V vy tt nht khng nn phm phi nhng li nh vy. Nu xy ra tranh ci th cng nn tranh ci trong phm vi ca cu chuyn, khng c ng chm n ngi lin quan ca cu chuyn y. Nhanh chng thot khi chin trng Nukhngthtrnhkhimtcuctranhlun,vbnlngithngcuc,bncngnn th hin phong camnh, khng c t d buhaychmbim ngi kia. Nhng lc nh vy, bn c th ha gii bng cch nh i phng gip bn mt vic nh no , nh ly h mt ly nc, hi xem my gi ri. iu ny s chng t rng, k c hai ngi va xy ra mt cuc tranh lun, nhng cui cng bn vn coi h l bn b, v khng h c ngh th ch g vi h c. Lm vy s ha gii c bu khng kh cng thng, gip c hai thot khi chin trng mt cch nhanh nht. Nungichinthngliphng,bncngkhngnntnhtonthithnvcuc tranh lun va xy ra, m nn suy ngh k v nhng g i phng va ni. Khng nn ch v thua cuc m em lng th ght, thm ch tm ch c hi tr th i phng. Tronggiaotiphngngy,khiiphngnirakincnhn,nubnkhngng, tuyt i khng nn lp tc phn bc, ch t cng nn cho h mt con ng li. Cc bn tr cn hiu r iu ny, tranh ci khng phi l mc ch ca mt cuc giao tip. Rt nhiu bn tr trong qu trnh tranh lun li c tnh chuyn i thi , em s phn i s vic thnh thiphnhiphng,khinchocuctranhlunbngnhintrthnhcucxung t. Khi khng ai chu thua ai, bn nn hiu rng, c tip din nh th ny th u khng c li cho c hai bn. Tt nht nn tm ra mt phng n m c hai u c th chp nhn c, hocaramtphngndunghacquanimcachaibnthogmu thun. Ti thm ebook: http://www.taisachhay.com 11.Th hin lng cm kch Cm thy bit n v khng th hin iu ging nh gi qu m khng trao. -William Arthur Ward Mt c gi i ra khi nh, va bc ra ca ly xe, c lin trng thy mt g thanh nin li hi cm km cng lc b kha. Bit ngay xe mnh b ly trm, c lin ht ln: Trm! Bt ly n! Nghetinght,tntrmvivnhylnxephngnhbay,lcnyngxacmtbc trung nin nghe thy ting h, lin vi cm chic trong tay gi ngang ng chn tn trm li. Do ang p xe vi tc cao, tn trm vng vo chic , ko theo bc trung nin longchongmsmvolng.Tntrmnhmdy,thycgispuicn ni, bn vt xe chy mt dng. Cginhnthychicxemicamnhbxtmtvtnh,bntclidngxelnri toan b i m khng thm ngonh u li. Lc ny, bc trung nin mi phi t ng dy, ngi i ng nhc kh: Sao chu khng cm n bc y mt cu? ca bc y hng ht ri!Cgichmiquantmnxecamnh,lmbmni:Xecachucngxcy thi! Nhng ngi c mt ch bit lc u th di, cm thy c gi ny qu ch k, c ngi cn ni rng: Loi con gi th ny, th khng gip cn hn! Chng bit ni mt cu cm n, ch bit n xe ca mnh thi! Mthm,cginqunvennggnnhmuahoaqu,phthinrakhngmang tin,cnhxincbnhngghin,lnsaustr.Thnhng,cbnhngkhngch khng ng , m cn kin quyt khng bn cho c. Th ra c bn hng ny l con ca bc trungningipcchncphmn,cynikhngmunbnhngchonhngk khng bit iu. C gi bit mnh ui l, xu h qu nh ci u i thng. Ccbntrngynayaphnsngtrongnhnggianhtcon,nhquencbm chiu chung, nn khi ra ngoi x hi cng cho rng s i ng ny vn s c tip din. Nhiu khi bn mc nh cho rng nhng vic b m lm cho bn l bn phn ca b m, bn khngcnphitlngbitnhaygc.Thnhngkhiirangoi,nubnvncngi tm l ny, chnh bn s l nhng ngi chu thit u tin. Cc bn bt buc phi hiu r rng,trongmtcham,ccbnlunthtbnh,thnnchamtrcsaunhmtvn munyuchiubn;thnhng trongmt ngi ngoi,bnchl mtngi cmiquan h x hi, cng vic, h khng c ngha v phi yu chiu, nhng nhn bn. Thm ch, h s v mu c nhn m u khc lit vi bn, khng ch khng nhng nhn bn, h cn c th cp i rt nhiu th trong tay bn. V vy, trong tnh hung nh vy, nu nh bn nhn c s gip t ngi khc, bn nn chn thnh cm n, ch khng phi cho rng l iu ng nhin m mnh ng c nhn. Chodmtsngigipbnkhngphivhmongnhncsboptbn, nhngtronglnghvnlunctmlmongi,mongbnghinhlngttcah.S cmkchcabncngbiuhinr,cngkpthi,hscngcmthylngttcamnh thc s c ngha. Nu khng, h s cho rng mnh tha hi rnh ri, vt v m vn v ch, ln sau khi bn gp kh khn, mi ngi u s trnh xa bn, cng ging c gi pha trn. Vy th, chng ta nn th hin lng cm kch vi ngi khc nh th no? Vic khng thnh cng phi th hin lng cm kch Ngi khc gip bn, tt nhin bn cn cm n, th nhng nu ngi khc dc lng dc scgipnhngvnkhngthnhcng,bnnnlmthno?Trchmcngitarng khngnngipthhn?Chtrchhkhngcgipbnthmchtna?Haychngni chng rng, coi nh cha tng xy ra chuyn g? D l th no, ch cn ngi khc gip , d kt qu c ra sao, bn cng phi th hin lng cmncamnh,nukhngngikhcschorngbnlmtklbch.Trongtnh hung nh vy, bn c th ni: Ti bi t anh c ht sc ri, ti thc s cm n! Xin l i nh, lm anh kh x ri! Vi c ny kh tht y, ti s ngh cch khc, d sao cng rt cm n s gip ca anh! Khi nghe c nhng li nh vy, trong lng i phng chc chn s cm thy rt d chu, thmchhcncmthyingi vvnchagipcbn.Lnsaukhibntiptcgp kh khn, h s c ht sc gip bn, coi nh l b p cho mn n ln ny. Lng cm kch phi th hin kp thi Rt nhiu bn tr sau khi nhn c s gip , khng ch khng cm n m cn ni nhng cuiloinh:Khngcbn,tivnlmcvicny!,Bncnlmchotivng tay vng chn hn, ti vn c th lm xong vic ny t lu ri c! Nhng cu y c th l tht, nhng s khin i phng cm thy mnh lm vic tt m chng c mt cu cm n. Cu cm n ph hp, kp thi s khin bn b cm thy rng h c ghi nhn. Ln sau khi gp kh khn, h s vn k vai st cnh gip bn. Mn ngi th ba by t lng bit n ca bn Ni xu mt ngi ngay trc mt v ni xu sau lng h, bn ngh cch no s khin cho h b tn thng hn? Tt nhin l sau lng! Tht ra khi ni tt v mt ai , phng php ny cng rt c tc dng. C nhng lc, nu mun by t lng bit n ca mnh vi mt ai , bn chng cn t mnh ni ra, rt nhiu ngi ngoi cuc cng c th gip bn vic ny. Trong khi ni chuyn vi ngi th ba m bn by t lng cm kch vi mt ngi khc s gip bn trnh c vic khin i phng nghi ng rng bn nnh nt hoc gi v bit n. cbitlkhicchcmtsaulngnythngquanhiuconngkhcnhaun c tai i phng, khi h s cm thy vui v v hi lng hn gp bi. Khng ch dng li ni u mi th hin lng cm kch Li cm n ai cng c th ni ra, nhng s c lc, dng hnh ng th hin s cng khin ngikhccmng,cngdtruyntsbitncabntiiphng.Vdnh nhn ngy l, mi i phng n mt ba, hoc tng mt mn qu nh. Lm nh vy, bn c th tht cht thm mi quan h gia hai ngi, quan trng hn l c th biu t s bit ncabntiiphng.Mcdbnkhngni,nhngiphngnhtnhshiu c iu . Gip li tr n Viuny,ticthdngcuchuyntrcytngcgiithchchoccbn hiu: Mt chng trai nh ngho giao hng n tng nh kim tin trang tri hc ph. Mt hm, anh thy i bng trong khi ti ch cn vn vn vi xu. Anh nh s nh bo xin mt ba n khi n ngi nh k tip. Nhng anh ht sc bi ri khi ngi m ca l mt thiu n kh i. V vy, thay v hi xin thc n, anh li hi xin mt cc nc ung. Thy anh c v i l, c gi chy vo nh mang ra cho anh mt ly sa tht to. Anh chm ri ung mt cch ngon lnh ri hi: Ti n c bao nhiu? C gi tr li: Anhbtmtcha?Anhkhngngtic.Mtinirngnulmvlngttthkhng bao gi nhn tin. Anh xc ng: Vy th ti chn thnh cm n c v m c. Ri cn nh, anh cm thy m p, nim tin vo con ngi trong anh tro dng. Sau ny anh tr thnh bc s. Nhiunmsau,cgingyybygiangmcphimtcnbnhnng.Ccbcsa phng b tay. H phi gi c ln thnh ph cha tr. Nhiu chuyn gia c mi n hi chn v cn bnh him gp ca c, trong c bc s Howard Kelly. Khinghentnthnhphnicsng,mttiasngl nhlntrongmtanh.Anhng pht dy, tm n phng bnh ca c. Anhvothmkhicangmman.Anhnhnracngaylptc.Thm,anhcbit quan tm n ca bnh ca c. Cabnhciutrthnhcngsaunhiungyvtv.BcsKellyyucuchuyncho anh duyt ho n thanh ton cui cng. Anhxemhonvvitthmvich.Cgirtsphimhonraxem,vcbit chc rng c s phi mt c phn i cn li tr ht mn tin y. Cui cng c cng phi m ra nhn vo ho n, v thy dng ch: C tr trc bng mt ly sa. Cu chuyn trn cho chng ta hiu rng: khi nhng ngi tng gip bn gp phi hon cnh kh khn, bn dc lng gip h, s l lng cm kch tt nht! Th nn, cc bn tr cn phi hiu rng, bt c ai gip bn u khng phi l ngha v, hcquyngiphockhnggip.Vvykhinhncsgiptngikhc,nht nhphibittrntrngvcmn,dchlmtcunithi,nhngcnglium bn nn lm. 12. Khngnningikhcgicmt cu, mnh mi i mt bc Ch ng l lm iu ng m khng cn phi bo. -Victor Hug Nhiu v qun l, lnh o chia s rng, h c th chp nhn nhng nhn vin mi nng lc c phn hn ch nhng bit tch cc lm vic, nhng h khng th chp nhn nhng bn tr c c hi hc tp nhng li khng ch ng hc, c c hi lm vic nhng khng ch ng lm. Chnghctp,chnglmviclbquytquantrngngitrcthtc thnhcngkhimibcvomitrngcngvic.Crtnhiubntrnni,lmvic u chm chp, khng linh hot, trong mi quan h giao tip, nhiu khi h b ng v khng cmingihoannghnh.CuchuyncaHinlmttrongnhngtrnghpnh vy. Trong lc hp phng, sp ca Hin lng nghe rt chm ch. t nhin sp nh ra chuyn g cn ghi li, nhng li qun mang bt nn hi Hin: Em c mang bt khng? Hin lin dng dc tr li: C ! Lc ny mi ngi u nhn Hin chm ch. Vi giy tri qua,Hingingimtngythvtinhnsp.Spnhphvccdinbtcny bngmtcu:Choanhmncht.LcnyHinmimctrongtiramtcybta cho sp. Tan hp, sp hi kho: Lc ny anh hi c mang bt khng, ti sao em khng ch ng mt cht?Hintnhbngngc:Anhchngnir,lmsaoembitc!Cutrlica Hin lm sp ngn ngm, lc u b i. BnngvicicbnHinngythvstiny,vngoikiacngckhngt ngi chng km c y l bao, ngi ta hi mt cu, h tr li mt cu; ngi ta gic mt li, h mi i mt on H cha bao gi ch ng lm vic, lun c tm l vic chng lin quan n mnh th sao phi lm? H v tnh nh mt rt nhiu c hi mi khi h trn trnh trch nhim v nhim v ca mnh. Nhng ngi tr lun ch ng lm vic thng c rt nhiu u im, h c tinh thn trch nhim,cnc,imm,ngtincyNubnlmvicnghimtcvcthich ngtrongmivic,chodnnglccabntmthichattthvncththngcm c, s nh gi ca ngi khc dnh cho bn cng s thc s cu th; nu nh nng lc ca bn tt nhng li ham chi li bing, nhng vic cn lm th khng ch ng lm, cc ng nghip quanh bn chc chn s nhn bn bng mt con mt khc. Mun t c thnh cng trong mi trng doanh nghip hin i nh ngy nay, cc bn tr bt buc phi c gng bi dng thc ch ng, dm gnh vc trch nhim, ch ng vch ra mc tiu cho cng vic ca mnh, ng thi khng ngng ci tin phng php. bi dng thi quen ch ng trong cng vic, c bn im cn phi lu sau y. Ch ng tm kim s gip Trong tnh hung thiu ht kinh nghim thc tin, chng ta cn phi hc hi t ngi khc, nhngngmongrnghschngnichobnnhngkinhnghimcamnh,vh khng c ngha v dy bo bn. t c iu mnh mun, vic bn cn lm l thnh gio h bng mt thi nghim tc v khim tn. Cbnsnivitirng:Emmittnghipilm,ccblotrongcngtybonu munlmcahthnhtnhphichngvtchcc.Nhngmingixung quanh ai ny u bn lun chn lun tay, th nn em ngy cng t vic, vy phi lm sao by gi? Crtnhiubntrbitrngtrongcngvicphinucaotinhthnchng,hcnc ngi ch bo, nhng li khng dm m ming nh v ngi khc, s phin phc, li cng s nh b t chi th s mt th din. Thc ra, thnh gio ngi khc u phi chuyn g xu xa,cngkhngphilvicngxuh,bncnphimnhdnmming.Ckhingi khcchakpgipbn,clldohqubn,ngnnsuynghnhiu,bnchnn hiu rng mnh cn g, lm th no t c, nh vy l . Ch ng ng no suy ngh Gim c sai Long i giao mt tp ti liu cho khch hng xa. Khi bc ra khi ca, gim c ni: Cu c th gi taxi i, khi no v th i xe but nh. Nhng ri Long li quyt nh bt xe but lc i, khi v mi gi taxi. Gim c hi: Sao cu li lm vy? Long tr li: Khi i th em khng mt, nn i khi v em mi i taxi. Gim c ni: Cu ng l khng chu ng no. Long hi: i xe but v taxi chng phi l nh nhau sao ? Gim c gii thch: Bo cu i taxi ngay lc u l v khch hng ang cn gp ti liu nn mi cn cu i nhanh mt cht; cn khi v i xe but l tit kim cho cng ty. Lc ny Long mi v l, h ging lm bm: Sao anh khng ni sm mt cht! Em lm sao bit c. Lm bt c vic g cng cn phi ng no v c cch suy lun ca chnh mnh. Vic no cn lm, nn lm th no, c cch no lm tt hn khng u l nhng vn ng suy xt. Mt ngi khng bit suy xt th vnh vin khng th lm nn thnh tu to ln. Ch ng lm nhng vic nn lm Mt cng ty ln t chc tuyn dng ti khn phng ca mt trng i hc, rt nhiu sinh vin ang hm h ch i, hy vng mnh s c vo cng ty ny lm vic. Th nhng v s lng tuyn hn ch nn nhiu sinh vin nhit tnh u b loi t vng ngoi. Sau khi bui tuyn dng kt thc, ri ai bc ngoi ca mt chic gh b tut xung t, mi ngi khng thm , c th ln lt bc qua, mt ngi, hai ngi, ba ngi Lc ny, mt bn tr i ngang qua, ch ng ci xung nht ri ai ln, phi bi ri li cn thn bc li vo gh. Hnh ng ny ca bn tr lt vo mt ca v trng phng nhn s cng ty , ng lp tc giculi,hicphilsinhvinvamittnghip,hmnaynyxinviclm khng.Trngphngni:Cukhngcnphithituynght,chcncung,tis tuyn cu ngay lp tc! Cu bn ny ch l thy vic nn lm, vy m c tuyn thng vo cng ty. Nhiu ngi khithychuynnysnirngdocuymaymn.Thcra,maymnxutphtttinh thnchngcacu.Trongttuyndng,chicchiauchottcmingi, nhngchmtmnhcuctuynngay.Nhngsinhvinkhckhngcthiquent gic, ch ng lm vic nn tut mt c hi qu bu ny. Dltrongcucsnghaytrongcngvic,bnkhngccsuynghvickhnglin quann mnh,mnhchngcn philm.Nubnhonthnhcnhng viccptrn giao ph, bn l mt nhn vin t tiu chun. Nhng nu bn ch ng lm nhng vic m cptrnkhnggiaophvhonthnhxutsc,dndnbnsxclpcvtrtrong mt lnh o, c nhiu c hi thng tin v t c nhiu thnh cng hn. Khc phc thi quen tr hon Tr hon cng vic l mt thi quen rt xu. Bn thng ngh: Hm nay khng lm th mai lm cng c, c sao u!, hay tm l i mt cht! Vi bn, chm mt cht cng khng nh hng g. C nh vy, bn kht ln ht ln ny n ln khc, vic ny cha xong li c vic khc xen vo, rt cuc bn chng th hon thnh vic g c. Khi bn c tm l tr hon, thc ra bn ang t la di, t dn vt, t b cuc, t lm mt mi chnh mnh. Mun khc phc cn bnh ny, bn cn phi bt u t nhng chi tit nh, v d nh: B nhng cu mo u nh mai tnh, mnh khng c thi gian, c y u l nhng cu t m th mang tnh tiu cc, thc ra chng phi bn khng c thi gian lm, ch l bn quen khng lm thi. Lpkhochlmvicmingy.Banucgngmingylmxongmtnhaivic chnhmkhngchngikhcthcgic.Lmtngvicnhmt, madmthmlu,c nh vy, thi quen ch ng lm vic s c hnh thnh trong bn. Khng c li bing khi nhn thy ngi khc ang lm vic. Khi thy ai ang lm vic, hy hi xem h c cn s gip hay khng, hoc th ngh xem liu mnh cng ang cvicgcnlmhaykhng,nunhpnlc,hynhanhchngbttayvolm, khng c bn thn c cm gic ht hng sau khi lng ph thi gian. Cc bn tr cn nh rng: mc ch ca thi quen tch cc ch ng chnh l mang n cho bn c hi tin b, rn gia v nng cao gi tr ca chnh bn thn mnh. 13. Chuynttkhngnnlm mtcch qu ng Cucsngtrnnkhkhnhnkhichngtasngvngikhc,nhngncngtrnn p v hnh phc hn.tt-Albert Schweitzer Trong qu trnh giao tip, nu bn v i phng c th duy tr mc cn bng gia vic cho i v nhn li, mi quan h ny s rt n nh. Chng ta u bit, nu mt ngi ch bit nhn v m khng bit cho i, mi quan h x hi cangiysmmungcngsxuthinvn.Nginhvylkchk,nhng ngi xung quanh chc chn s khng mun giao thip vi h. Vy vi nhng ngi ch bit cho i m khng bit nhn li, mi quan h ca h c xut hin vn no khng? Cu tr li l c. Vonm1974,mtnhtmlhcngiMphtbiurng,vbncht,miquanh qualigiangivingicthcoilmtphngthctraoixhi,phngthc nycngtunththeonguyntctunhongingnhphngthctraoihngha trn th trng, tc l mi ngi u hy vng rng trong mt mi quan h, nhng g mnh nhn c s khng t hn nhng g mnh b ra. Thc ra, nu nh nhng g nhn c ln hn nhng g b ra, tm l con ngi cng s ny sinh tnh trng mt cn bng. CquanDngmituynmtcgixinhp.Cgivattnghip ihc,iukingia nh khng c tt. Mt ln, m c b m phi ln H Ni cha tr, v nht thi khng tin nn c nh n nh Dng vay tm 6 triu. Dng rt nhit tnh, anh khng ch cho c vay tin, m cn a m c i cc bnh vin kim tra, gip ly s xp hng, ly giy xt nghim C gi v cng cm kch. Trong lng c ngh, i khi no mnh lnh thng lng u, nht nh s mi anh y mt ba, coi nh li cm n. Sau khi nhn c lng, c n nh tr tin cho Dng, anh ngp ngng khng mun nhn, ni rng: Em mi vo lm, nu nh tr tin cho anh, thng sau sng bng ci g? Dng rt hiu hon cnh hin ti ca c, bi anh cng tng xut thn t mt vng nng thn ngho, khi mi ra trng khng mt xu dnh ti, cuc sng v cng vt v. C gi khng mun hm n Dng, nhng trn tay khng cn ng no, th l nh tr trc cho anh 3 triu. Mt thi gian sau, v s sut trong cng vic, c ti vi khch hng, c sut cht na b ui vic. May m Dng kp thi sang tc ng tm l vi khch, gip cng ty khng b tht thu, nh vy m c vn c gi li. Lnh lng thng th hai, c gi nh tr nt 3 triu, nhng Dng vn ni l khng cn gp, kinquytkhngnhn.Thcra,Dngthtlngmungipcvtquacnhkhkhn. Khng ng, anh cng gip , c gi dng nh cng c tnh trnh anh. Trc kia hai ngi thng xuyn i n tra, chuyn tr rm r, by gi chm mt cng ty, c hai bt gic cm thy i ngi, khng ni vi nhau na li. Mtngyn,cgiangngivittngktcngvic,khngbitnnvitthno,cbn hi ng nghip trong phng, ng lc Dng i ngang qua thy vy, anh lin ch ng qua ch cho c, nhng c t chi, ni rng: Em bit vit ri . Dng hi c ti sao li t chi s gip ca mnh, c ni khng mun n anh qu nhiu. C cn ni rng, bit anh l mt ngi tt, nu nh khng phi v by gi c bn trai, c nguyn dng tnh yu ca mnh bo p anh. Nghe c ni vy, Dng mi git mnh ng ra, th ra s gip v t ca anh by lu nay dntrthnhplcivic.Anhhontonkhngcncphitrn,cngchatng mun c tr thnh ngi yu ca mnh, v anh cng c bn gi ri. Xem ra c y ngh ngi qu nhiu, nhng Dng hiu rng, s nhit tnh khng tnh ton ca anh cng d khin cho c y ngh rng anh c mu g khc. Rtnhiungichorng,trongccmiquanh,mnhchoicngnhiuthkhini phngcngcmthyvui,miquanhgiahaingisngycngmtthit,thcra khng phi nh vy! Trong giao tip x hi, mi quan h duy tr lu di cn ph hp vi nguyn tc cn bng. Khi bn cho i nhiu m nhn li t, i phng s tm cch b p cho bn. Nu bn lm n cho ngi khc qu nhiu, i phng s cm thy mnh khng thbpni,tkvngrngmtngynonhtnhslmnhvyvibn. Nhngtrckhicthbop,iphngslachngiiphptmthixacchhoc trnh mt bn, bi h khng chu ng ni mn n n tnh vn cha tr ht ny, h s cm thy ngt ngt, mt t nhin khi i din vi bn. Mt ngi ch k n my cng khng mun n n tnh ca ngi khc. Nu nh bn khng mun hai bn ngy cng xa cch, ng bin mi quan h gia hai ngi tr thnh mi quan h gia ch n v con n. Ngoira,khibnchbitchoimkhngsuynghncmgiccaiphng,ht khc s cho rng bn ang m mu g , cng ging c gi trong cu truyn trn. V vy, nu nh mun gip ngi khc v mun duy tr mi quan h lu bn vi h, tt nht bn nn gim thiu tn sut gip h, hoc l la thi im thch hp, nh h gip li mt vic nh no , iu s to c hi h tr n v khin h cm thy thoi mi, mi quan h gia hai ngi nh vy s ngy cng tt p hn. 14. Mntingtmcangikhc lm cng vic ca mnh Trc khi chng ta t c quyn nng to ln, chng ta phi t c s khn ngoan dng tt n. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Kh nng ca mt ngi l hu hn, c rt nhiu vic chng ta khng th t lm mt mnh mphiphihpvingikhccnghonthnh.Mingicnhnguthvs trng khc nhau, th bn thiu ht li chnh l th m ngi khc c. Cc bn tr cn bit cch s dng s trng ca ngi khc b p cho s on ca mnh khi x l cng vic. Mt a b c m a n hng tp ha mua .ng ch y rt qu cu b, ng linmngnkochaykora,chocubbcmtnmn.Thnhng,cunhc thng ngy v cng ho ngt nay li chn ch khng phn ng. ng ch gi my ln, cu ukhngngy.Cuicng,ngonchcdocubxuh,linttaybcmtnm keo nht vo ti cu b. Sau khi v nh, b m rt bun, hi cu b: Ti sao con khng t tay ly ko? Cu b p: Tay ca con nh nn bc c t ko, tay ca bc y to nn s bc c nhiu ko hn . Cu b trn tht thng minh, chc gi cc bn bit v sao ban u cu b li c tnh chn ch do d ri ch! Khi kh nng ca mnh khng , chng ta cn tn dng s gip ca ngi khc. TnggimchngtGMdanhtingngSloantngnirng:Nubnlymt ton b ti sn, nhng vn li cho ti mt vi nhn ti, bn nm sau, ti s ly li c tonbnhngtisnmt.Cuninychngminhctnhquantrngcavic tn dng kh nng ca ngi khc. Vy lm th no chng ta c th thc hin c iu y? Bn cn nh nhng iu sau y. Mn danh ting ca ngi khc. Mtnhxutbnnspxutbnmtcunschrtcgitrnhngkhngnhiungi hiucnidungcan.Engivicnycthnhhngnktqukinhdoanh,v gim c lin gi tng cho mt doanh nhn ni ting mt cun v gi th xin kin ca v doanhnhnny.Vcngvicvcngbnrn,vdoanhnhncngkhngmunththa ving gimcnhxutbn,nnnhvitngngn vi, trongccu:Cunsch ny tht s c gi tr. Gim c c c th lin m c trong bng, lp tc cho ng mt bibovinidung:Cunschcchthndoanhnhnnitingngikhen.Khng lu sau, s sch trn bn ht. Ngigimckia lidnghiung ni tingcavdoanhnhnngipschca mnh bn t nh tm ti. Nu nh bn cnh bn c ngun ti nguyn nh vy, ti sao li khng tn dng mt cht, danh ngn c cu: Tm cy ln ly bng rm, mun c rm mt, trc tin cn phi tm cho ra cy ln trc . Mn ti nng ca ngi khc George Bernard Shaw tng ni: Bn c mt qu to, ti cng c mt qu to, nu chng ta trao i th mi ngi vn c mt qu. Th nhng, nu bn c mt sng kin, ti cng c mt sng kin, vy th khi trao i, chng ta s c tn hai sng kin. Nu bn c ging ht hay nhng li khng c kh nng sng tc, tt nht l tm v hp tc vi mt nhc s; nu bn mun lp nghip nhng li ch bit qun l m khng hiu v k thut, v tip th, tt nhin bn cng kh lng thnh cng, ch t bn phi tm nhng ngi am hiu k thut v tip th cng gy dng s nghip vi mnh. D cho bn thng minh n my, bn cng phi tha nhn rng ti nng ca bn thn l hu hn, nu mun ginh c nhiu thnh cng hn, phi hc cch hp tc cng ngi khc. Mn kinh nghim ca ngi khc Kinh nghim l ngun ti nguyn v cng quan trng i vi cng vic ca chng ta, n i hichngtaphikhngngngtchly.Thnhngvinhiubntr,khikinhnghimx hi vn cn thiu, cc bn cn phi hc hi kinh nghim t ngi khc nng cao trnh v hon thnh cng vic ca mnh. Khngchhchikinhnghimtchnhnhngngitatipxc,giaotiptrctip,bn nn hc tp t chnh nhng ngi i trc, li c mt kho bu kinh nghim trong sch v. Mt khc, cc bn tr khng ch cn ch ng hc tp t ngi khc, m khi c ngi khcgp,bnphitipnhnmtcchkhimtnvchtm,mtsligpcth khng d lt tai, nhng chng ta cn hiu rng: Thuc ng gi tt, s tht mt lng, i vi nhng li rn dy mang tnh tch cc, cng tip thu nhiu, cng sa cha nhiu, chng ta s ngy cng tin b. Mn tin t ngi khc Thanhninngoi20tui,vabcvocucsngxhi,thigianlmvicchanhiu, phng din ti chnh vn cn rt eo hp, nhng trong x hi hin i ngy nay, mun lp nnnghiplnmtrongtaykhngctinthrrngkhngn.Cmtsngivmi mt u rt thnh thc, ch c ti chnh l thiu ht, nhng lc nh vy, bn cn phi mn tin ca ngi khc x l cng vic ca mnh. Tt nhin khi ni n tin nong l ng n mt vn ht sc t nh. Ai cng u rt cn trng trong chuyn ny, phn v s mt tin, phn v s mt bn. Bi th, h cn phi nhn xem kh nng qun lti chnh, nng lc lm giu v phm cht o c cabn c xng ng h tin tng v ph thc hay khng. Khi cp n iu ny, ti hon ton khng nh c xy vic g bn cng vay tin ngi khc. Vay tin chi tiu t nhng vic vt trong cuc sng m khng tr n ng hn, kht ln l mt vic tuyt i phi trnh xa. ytichninnhngngicch,hoibovtinngmungydngsnghip nhng tim lc ti chnh khng , trong trng hp , bn cn vay mn ngi khc c th khi nghip thun li hn mt cht. 15. Gi th din cho ngi khc Li ni p - l chi ph thp nht thu li cao nht. -Ngn ng Anh Thdinxtchocngcngllngttrng.Khibnngchmnlngttrngca ngi khc, h s cm thy b xc phm, t gi mi c cm trong lng vi bn. Mi ngi thng rt nhy cm vi nhng vic nh hng n lng t trng ca mnh, c nhng khi bn v tnh lm tn thng ai , bn c th lng qun, nhng ngi kia s lun gi trong lng. V vy, i vi nhng chuyn nh, khnglin quan n vic c mt, cn bit cch gi th din cho ngi khc, ng y h vo con ng khng cn ch li. Pht hin ra iu di tr, nhng khng nn ni ra Mt v khch n n ca hng qun o i tr li hng. Mt tun trc c y mua mt chic vyy,nirngchtlngqut,khngthchna.Mcdnhnmcchabctra, nhngnhnvinbnhngphthinthyduvtgitkhcnsttrnb.Theoquy nh ca ca hng, nhng sn phm bn ra qu nm ngy th khch hng s khng c tr li. C gi mt mc ni rng mnh cha tng mc ln ngi, nhn vin bn hng bit l li nidi,nhngnunithngra,chcchncyscmthyrtxuh,chabitchng cn xy ra ci nhau to. Lc ny, nhn vin bn hng mi nh nhng ni: Em bit l ch cha mc, nhng em mun hi mt cht, c phi l cc bc nh em b qun o ny i git u ri phi khng ch?Emcngtngbnhvyrim.Clnemmuamtcivy mi,vnhlncng qun o bn, m khng bit lin v tt c cho vo my git. V vy cng li my vt ging nhtrnbny,chxemthnh!Cginhnthyduvt,linpngni:Cll vy, chc l chng ch v tnh em i git Ngi nhn vin bn hng trn vn bit c khch hng ca mnh ang ni di, nhng liquytnhskhngtrctiptgichnhvitrn,cnchocymtngrtlui. Trong tnh hung ny, c gi b ni trng tim en s phi li bc trong m p. Sau khi ni di, c nhiu ngi s tm cch bao bin cho hnh vi ca mnh, nu li lm ca i phng khng can h g n mnh, bn c th tm cch bao bin cho i phng trc. H s rt bit n bn, nu nh ni thng ra, trc tip co gic li lm ca h, h s cm thy v cng xu h, t s th hn bn. Cn bit rng, vic nhc nh kho lo s khin tm l con ngi ny sinh cm gic h thn v mun ch ng sa sai. Ngoi ra, hin nay khi i ngoi ng, bn c th gp rt nhiu bn tr c thi quen chm gi, khoc lc ba hoa, d bit nhng li h ni khng phi l s tht, nhng ch cn nhng li chm gi trn l v hi, chng ta cng khng nn di cho h go nc lnh trc mt mi ngi. H mun khoc lc, vy c h t nhin l c. Bit hi hc trong nhng tnh hung kh x ca ngi khc Ai cng tng tri qua nhng giy pht kh x nh: nhn nhm ngi, ni nhm cu, qun kokhaqun,xhi trong thangmyNhnglcnh vy,khng nncitrnniau kh ca ngi khc, tt nht l gi v khng nghe thy, hoc tm thi ri i ch khc, h c thi gian t x l tnh hung. Nu nh ri vo hon cnh bt buc, bn c th nhit tnh gip h thot ra khi tnh hung kh x. Bt ci hay bnh lun to nh khi thy ngi khc lm vo cnh d khc d ci l mt vic lm rt bt lch s, khin cho h v thm ch c nhng ngi xung quanh nhn bn bng con mt phn cm. 16. Thi quyt nh rt nhiu vic Chnh thi ca chng ta khi bt u mt vic kh khn s nh hng n kt qu thnh cng nhiu hn bt c iu g khc. -William James Trongqutrnhgiaotiphngngy,thisquytnhnrtnhiuvic.Tronggiy phtlnugpmt,iphngsquytnhctiptcquanhvibnhaykhng thng qua thi ca bn. V d nh, khi tr chuyn cng ngi khc m mt bn lnh nh tin hoc ti nh hoa, cm xc ca h cng s hon ton khc nhau. Ni tm li, chng ta ckhuynhhngthchgiaotipvinhngngimtaccmtnh,hocchtlnhng ngi khng mang tnh cng kch. V vy khi giao tip ngoi x hi, duy tr thi n ha l iu rt quan trng. C th chng ta cn tun th nhng quy tc sau y: u tin, lch s l nn tng ca giao tip. Cmtngibntngkchotinghemtcuchuyn,cquananhymuntuynsinh vin mi tt nghip ra trng, trong hn 100 th sinh n ng tuyn, ch duy nht c mt bnkhingln nilicmn vcichobangimkho,khibcrangoi,cuycn bitngcali.Bnsinhvin nylintngrtttp,vcuicnghcng chn cu y. Rt nhiu bn tr ngy nay khng bit gi cc php tc lch s ti thiu, thng xuyn nng vi bp chp, khin ngi khc ngh rng h khng c dy bo t t. Thc ra, thi lch s c th tot ra ngay t nhng hnh vi rt nh ca mi ngi. Thng thng, nhng cu ni lch s c nhng dng sau y, cc bn tr cn lu mt cht: Li hi thm: th hin s quan tm vi ngi khc qua nhng cu hi thm, v d nh Xin cho,rtvuicgpbn!Nulngiquen,cuhithmsthhinsgiaohoca haingi,nulngilnugpmt,hithmcnglmtcchbtumtmi quan h tch cc. Li cm n: Th hin s cm kch khi nhn c s gip , qu tng hoc s khon i t iphng,vd:Lmphincuri,mnhcmnnh!Nunicrldothcng thhinschnthnhcabn,hiuquscngcao,vd:Maymcucmtivh mnh, khng th mnh cng chng bit lm sao Li xin li: Khi phi lm phin i phng, chng ta cn kp thi xin li, v d: Xin li anh, em qun mt vic anh nh ri, Xin li cu, i mnh lu cha? Khi ni li xin li, hy nhn i phng bng nh mt chn thnh, iu s em li hiu qu tt hn. Lithamkho:Chngtrngcukin,thhinstntrngdnhchoiphng,v d: Em m ca s ra mt cht c khng anh?, Nh vy c lm phin cu khng?, Ti c th ly ci ny ch? Lchslnntngcagiaotip.Trongccmiquanhxhihngngy,hnhngv thilchsliukinttyutngcngshuho,giaotiphiuquvtn trng ln nhau. Th hai, s nhit tnh gip v tr ca bn c nng cao trong mt ngi khc. Nhit tnh khng n thun l s gip , m n cn khin i phng cm nhn c thi trngthvsmpmbndnhchoh,vvyaicngmuncnhngngibn nhit tnh. Nhng ngi nhit tnh lun n n ci trn mi, coi vic gip ngi l nim vui ca mnh, hy th ngh xem, mt ngi lun i x vi bn lnh nht, bn c mun tip cn vi h khng? Tt nhin l khng, v ai cng s nh vy. Chc bn vn nh cu chuyn v c gi c Dng nhit tnh gip phn trc. Trong cucsng,khngphicnhittnhtheocchmnhnghtt.Chngtakhngnnlm qu , nhit tnh khng nn nhit qu mc. Ngi khc khng th ch bit nhn mi s giptbn,nukhngtmlhscmthymtcnbng,khinhcmthykhng thhockhngcchibop,vcmgicngingngskhiniphngdnxa lnh bn. Th ba, c gng hc cch khng ch cm xc ca bn thn. Trongcucsngcrtnhiumuthun(vibnb,ngnghip,lnhohaykhch hng) m i khi chng ta khng th trnh c. C rt nhiu bn tr tnh tnh bc ng, nngny,hgpphichuyngcchlsnsngtranhcigaygt,thmchngtay ng chn, gy ra nhng hu qukhn lng, c hi hn th mun. C mt cu chuyn nh nh sau: Mtvthmphnsaukhiphnquytthnhmtphmnhn,ngixungtrcmt phm nhn v hi: Anh cn c iu g mun ni vi gia nh khng? ngmuvotmchti!ngyqunt,khnnn,thtkhngcngbng! Phmnhnbtnglntingchi.Thmphnnicnthnhn,chiliphmnhnmt trnghnmiphtngh.ithmphnchixong,phmnhnnmtncicay ng, anh ta ni: Ngithmphn,ngilmtngicav,cmingingngm,tngcrt nhiu sch v, c th ni l mt tr thc vn minh. Cn ti, ti ch l mt k m ch, cha tng ttnghiptiuhc,lmmtcngvichnmnVtnkiagitr yuruxanhvi v ti, ti mi nht thi manh ng, m cht hn nn mi n bc ng cng ny. Mc davkhngging nhau,nhngharachngtalicmtimchung,tivngiu ch l n l ca cm xc khngchccmxccabnthn,ccbntrcnphigitronglngmtch Nhn, li mt bc tin ba bc, d c gp chuyn c ch n my cng cn suy ngh thtkrimihnhng,tuytikhngnnphtngnbabihayninnglmcn. Khi cn gin ln ti nh im, hy c gng ghm li, khng a ra bt k phn ng no, i qua mt thi gian mi bt u suy xt v x l s vic. Lc ny c th bn s nhn ra rng ch l mt s hiu lm, thc ra mi chuyn khng ti mc ti t nh vy. Mt khi gi c bnh tnh, bn s d dng tm ra c bin php gii quyt n tha mi khc mc. Cui cng, chng ta cn hc cch bit iu. tr thnh mt ngi bit iu, chng ta cn khng ngng tch ly v hc hi nhng quy c giao tip bn ngoi x hi. Thi hiu chuyn, bit iu gip chng ta xoa du nhng mi quan h cng thng, v chng ta cng d dng gy thin cm vi ngi khc khi ln u gp g. Bit iu l mt loi thuc kch thch trong cuc sng hng ngy. N khng t nhin c m phi tri qua qu trnh quan st, hc hi. Mun c nhng bc tin vng chc ngoi x hi, chng ta khng ch cn lm vic tt, m cn phi bit cch lm ngi, kho lo linh hot trong vic i nhn x th. 17. Nhngcunivhnhngkhin ngi khc ght nht C nhng ngn t cn ti t hn chi ra, c nhng ngn t em li s tn thng. -Tillie Olsen Khi n mt s ni cng cng nh rp chiu phim, cng vin hay qun bar, chng ta c th thngxuynnhnthynhnghotboy,hotgirlnmcsnhiu,nhnltquacth thy thin cm vi h, v cch trang im, kiu tc hay ngoi hnh ca h khin ta n tng, th nhng h ch cn m ming ni thi l khin chng ta tht vng hon ton. H ci a qu l, vng tc chi by, mun lm g th lm, khng thm n ngi khc, trng tht phn cm. Cho d x hi ngy nay tn sng c tnh v s mi m, th nhng nu c tnh ca bn c xy dng trn vic lm nh hng n ngi khc, chc chn s chng c ai n nhn iu .Thngthng,nhnghnhngvphongcchnninhsauskhinngikhc chn ght, hy nh k nh: T cho mnh l ng lnhngngilunkhngkhnghnhngcamnhlng,kincamnhltt nht, vy thi cn rt cao ngo, khng bao gi chu tip thu kin ngh hoc s khuyn bocangikhc,khngcoiairag.ylcnbnhphbincagiitrngynay,v nh c mt s bn tr mi i lm, trong tay nm mt cht kin thc tn tin bn thch ra v bn thn hiu bit, ma ru qua mt th. Nhng cu m h thng hay ni l: Ti bi t Ti ni l ph i nh vy m Khng cn phi bn bc g na, c nh vy i S d k t cho mnh l ng khng c ngi khc yu mn l do h t t a v ca bn thn ln qu cao so vi thc lc ca mnh, bt chp cm gic v s nh gi khch quan t nhngngixungquanh,thmchlkhngcthitntrngviccbctinbi.H chorngbnthnmnhiugcngtt,mphnhmithcangikhc.Kckhi pht hin ra bn thn sai, h cng khng bao gi chu nhn li, li cng khng bit m li xin li ngi khc. Thch a chuyn, ngi l i mch Cnhnticbitkhngthchnhngkhayachuynvngilimch.Nhng iutra vinnythngxuyn xuthin saulngkhichngtaangth thmhoctm s nhng chuyn t nh ring t, dn mt vo mn hnh in thoi hoc my tnh ca ngi khc,lunmoimchoctmhiumtcchqungnhngvicchnghlinquann mnhthamnshiukcabnthn.Nhngngithchachuynlicngnguy him hn, h khng ch t m chuyn ca ngi khc, m cn c ti thm mm dm mui, sau r tai ht ngi ny n ngi khc, khin cho nn nhn d khc d ci. Trong nhng tnh hung thng thng, nu i phng khng mun ni th khng nn hi thm mt cch ty tin, nu khng s khin i phng cm thy kh x, tr li bn cng thy kh chu, khng tr li bn th cng cm thy ngi, t h s tm cch lng trnh bn. Nu quanh bn khng c chuyn g xy ra, tuyt i khng c thu dt ba chuyn, k c bn c ni xu mt ai trc mt ngi khc, h cng s ngh rng: Bit u anh/c ta cng ni xu sau lng mnh nh th?, c nh vy, dn dn mi ngi s nghi k v khng mun tr chuyn cng bn, bn s khng c bn b, ch t l khng c bn tm giao. Ni chuyn khng bit gi chng mc cho php Mt cu ni c th gy ci, cng c th khin ngi khc khip s. Mt cu ni hay, ngi khc c th khng tm, nhng ni mt cu kh nghe, h chc chn s . Rt nhiu bn trhinnaymcphimtttxu,lkhngbitgichngmc,khngbitunli by ln trc khi ni chuyn. Cu chuyn sau l mt v d: MtngibngiithiuchoQunmtkhchhngmi,bangihngpnhaumt qun c ph. Cubngiithiu:ylanhHong,ngiHNi,anhymivoychacmt tun,cntmmuamtvisnphmbncu,thnnmnhgiithiuchohaingigp nhau. Qun vui v ng dy bt tay, v tnh ni: Cho anh, dn Bc K m cng mua loi sn phm ny h anh? Em c v ght dn ngoi Bc bn anh? Khch hng vn ci, nhng sc mt l r v khng hi lng. Khng kh cuc gp bng tr nn nng n v min cng. D ba ngi u cn tr, c th bng a mt cch thoi mi, th nhng ch v mt cu a v ca mnh, Qun lm pht lng Hong. V vy, khi giao tip vi bt c ai, nht l trong ln gp u tin, chng ta phi ht sc lu , khng nn cp n nhng vn nhy cm hay a ct qu , khin ngi khc lm vo tnh th kh x. Trn trnh trch nhim T xa n nay, nhng bc trng ngha, dm gnh vc trch nhim nng n u khin mi ngi n phc v yu mn. bn cnh h, chng ta cm thy rt tin tng v trn y cm gicanton.chiungcli,aicngghtkiungihgpchuynlny,trn trnhtrchnhim,lnhngkchk,chbitnghchobnthnmkhngquantm n hon cnh ca ngi khc. Nu chng may gp sai st trong cng vic hoc b lnh o ph bnh, iu u tin h lm l ngy bin cho mnh, hoc vy trch nhim ln u ngi khc. Em khng h lin quan n vic ny! Tr ch nhi m ny khng thuc phm vi ca em! l em cn c theo yu cu ca cng ty m lm thi! Vi c ny phi tm Huy, tuy em ph trch nhng cu y cng c phn sai st! L thanh nin, chng ta cn xc vc trch nhim, khng ch l yu cu cng vic, m cn l mt c hi trau di kinh nghim v hc hi thm cc k nng. Ngay c khi trch nhim qu thc khng lin quan n bn thn, chng ta cng nn nh nhng gii thch cn k, trnhgyhiulm.ngvnhnglichnhtthimnhmtithincmcanhng ngi xung quanh i vi bn. Thch li dng Nuchointhoi bncng ty,cha tngchngtrtinkhii nungcngbn b,khkhgicamnhtrongkhitytindngngikhcNhngkiungi nh vy chc chn khng ai mun kt giao. Ngoi ra, rt nhiu bn tr ngy nay c thi quen vay tin ba bi nhng li lun chy kht n. y l mt hnh ng rt thiu vn minh v nh hng rt tiu cc n hnh tng v mi quan h ca bn. Tt nhin, khi mi chn t chn ro bc vo cng vic, nhng khi tiu xi qu hay sa c l vn, vay mn bn b hay ng nghip l iu kh trnh khi, nhnghycgnghnchvkhcphciunybngcchlnkhochchitiuhpl, hoc tm nhng vic lm thm kim thm chi ph. Ti thm ebook: http://www.taisachhay.com 18. Lun khim nhng trong giao tip Kh m tn trng ngi khc nu bn thn khng t khim nhng. -Henri Frederic Amiel Hn 2000 nm trc, quc vng Ai Cp Aktau khuyn ngi con trai ca mnh: Khim tn mt cht, n s gip con cu c c thy. Trong cng vic cng nh cuc sng, khi bn gp phi kh khn, ng qun thnh gio ngi khc bng thi khim tn. Khibnthnhgiongikhc,nchothybnrttntrng,khmphcngi,ng thi th hin mong mun nhn c s gip ca ngi khc. i vi i phng, l mt cm gic t ho, k c h c c cm vi bn i chng na, ch cn bn c thi thnh gio chn thnh, h cng s t mi c cm sang mt bn m ch bo cho bn bng kinh nghim ca bn thn. Rtnhiungitngctringhimnhsau,nilmvic,numtngnghiptrc vic cn n s gip ca bn, d lc bn c bn n th no, hay cha ngh ra hng x l ra sao, bn vn c th nhit tnh v c gng tm cch gii quyt cho h, trong lng cn cm thy i cht hnh din. Bi v khi ai cn n s ch gio ca bn, iu chng t bn c mt u th no hn ngi, bn gii hn h, bn nhn c s coi trng ca h! Mt bn tr k vi ti rng, ln no cu nh ai gip hoc hi han vic g, ngi khc khng nhng khng nhit tnh gip m cn ng l, khng thm m xa n cu. Cu rt bn khon, khng hiu v sao li nh vy. Trong trng hp ny, nhiu khi cha chc ngi khc c khng gip bn, c th do cch hi ca bn c vn . Ln sau khi hi v mt vn no , bn th thay i cch ni xem sao. V d: Trc kia: Tm l i nn lm th no th n nh? Anh bi t v sao li th khng? Qua y gip t i mt tay! Sa thnh: Cho mnh hi mt cht, ci ny nn lm th no th tt hn nh? Anh lm n gi i thch h em mt cht! Anh i, gip em mt tay vi! So snh hai cch ni nh trn, cch ni th nht ngn gn hn, nhng hiu qu s khng tt bng, khin ngi nghe c cm gic nh b ra lnh; cch ni th hai mang ng iu khim tn,ctbnthnvtrthphnvmongnhncsgiptiphng. Trongthct,titngthnghimphngthctrnmikhicviccnnh.Chcn trong cu ni ca mnh c thm nhng t nh C th ch cho mnh mt cht c khng, Nhvycckhnganh?,Xinhi,Lmn...lnhncphnnghtsc nhit tnh t i phng, bi v bn thnh gio, coi i phng l chuyn gia, l thy, tt nhin h s cm thy thoi mi v tn tnh gip bn. Trong tnh hung c th, chng ta cn phi lu mt s im. u tin, thi phi thnh khn v cu th. Th hai, trc khi cn n s tr gip, hy c gng suy ngh tht k v tm cch t gii quyt, khng c h c chuyn l chy i nh ngi khc x l. Khi t hiu ra c mt t vn ri, nu nhn c s tr gip ca ngi khc, bn s cng d dng gii quythn.Cnmtimnacnch,lsaukhicngikhcgip,bnphi bit ni li cm n. Tuyt i khng c nh hoc i hi ngi khc gii quyt ton b cng vic, cng khng c cha hiu chuyn g vn gi v hiu. Cng mt vn , nu bn hi i phng qu nhiu s lm h ngh rng bn khng chu nghim tc lng nghe. 19. Khngphilcnocngthhincm xc trn gng mt ng bao gi ni tt c nhng g bn bit - thm ch c vi ngi bn bit r nht. -Agatha Christie Trong giao tip, k c vi nhng ngi thn trong gia nh hay vi ngi yu, nu chng ta em tt c tm trng h n i by t ra ngoi, vic i nhn x th ca bn s tr nn kh x l hn nhiu. Mtkhibcchnrangoixhi,phmviquanhcabnsngymtrng.Khng phiviai,trongbtkvicg,bncngthtthicamnhra.Lmnhvy,ngi chuthitthiutinlichnhlbn,vkhngphiaicnghiutnhcchcabn,con ngi bn v d dng thng cm cho nhng hnh vi ca bn i vi h. Nhiukhikhngthchailemchngbaogimunnichuyncngngi,cntr thi lmnh khng vui mi khi tip xcvi h! Emngh sao l c th hin ht