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BREAKING THROUGH BIAS COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES FOR WOMEN IN LITIGATIONAndrea S. KramerPartnerChair, Financial Products, Trading & Derivatives GroupChair, Gender Diversity SubcommitteeMcDermott Will & Emery [email protected]
Special Address2015 Women in LitigationSeptember 25, 2015Loyola School of Law©Andrea S. Kramer 2015. All rights reserved.
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The Elephant in the RoomGender Inequality
Women have difficulty advancing in traditionally male careers like the legal profession Expectations are uninterrupted progress up the ranks Relentless commitment to long hours at work or on the
road The subjective mind set of people who control
women’s career advancement Deep-seated stereotypes about women, men,
families, careers, and leadership
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Gender Stereotypes
Beliefs about characteristics, attitudes, and behaviors
Simplify cognitive processes Used to quickly decide how
to evaluate and relate toother people
Unconsciously used todifferentiate and categorizepeople by “type”
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Scripts for Discrimination
Scripts for how we relate to other people once sorted
Can be benign and harmless, underpinning much of ethical social conduct
Discriminatory scripts hurt minority groups and women in traditionally male careers
Also hurts men in traditionally female careers
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Gender Sorting
Largely benign and evolutionarily valuable Gender sorting is harmful when it assigns
characteristics beyond biological ones to people Gender stereotypes
have changed littleover the last 40 years
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Feminine Stereotypes (Communal)
Affectionate Compassionate Eager to soothe hurt feelings Emotional Friendly Gentle Mild Modest Pleasant Sensitive to the needs of others Tender Understanding Warm
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Masculine Stereotypes (Agentic)
Achievement-oriented Aggressive Assertive Dominant Forceful Independent Self-confident Strong Tough Unemotional Willing to take a stand Willing to take risks
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Successful Leader Stereotypes (Agentic)
Able to take charge Action oriented Assertive Inspirational Problem-solvers Risk-takers Self-confident
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Successful Lawyer Stereotypes
Same as a successful leader Uninterrupted progress up the ranks Relentless commitment to long hours
At work On the road
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Assumptions
Assumptions are that women have “feminine” characteristics (communal) and men have “masculine” characteristics (agentic)
Successful lawyers are agentic and men are agentic, therefore men should be lawyers
Caregivers are communal and women are communal, therefore women should be caregivers
Just because women are women, they are not suited for stereotypically male careers like the law
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Gender-Loaded Words
Abrasive Aggressive Angry Bossy Breathless Catty Difficult Emotional
Harpy High maintenance Irrational Out of control Shrill Strident Takes everything
personally Unlikable
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Biases
Women can receive less challenging assignments, less supervisory roles, less advancement, and less compensation
Small amount of bias accumulates over time into significant job disadvantages
Businesses lose talent, growthopportunities, and profits
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Discriminatory Operation
Descriptively tell us what women and men are like.
Prescriptively tell us what women and men should be like.
Proscriptively tell us what women and men should not be like.
All of these assumptions discriminate against women in traditionally male careers like the law.
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Prescriptive and Proscriptive Discrimination
Prescriptions and proscriptions work together to hold women back.
If women show they are sensitive to others feelings, kind, and thoughtful, they are well liked, but seen as less competent for leadership roles than men with similar talents.
Agentic women increase their perceived competence but reduce their likability because they are seen as competent but selfish and unlikable.
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Hostile Biases Negative views about women’s competence or suitability
for certain tasks or positions. Recent Study: Science professors (male and female)
favored male students:
Same application for science lab manager position but 50% had a woman’s name and 50% had a man’s name
Both male and female faculty consistently judged the applications from women as less competent and less worthy of being hired, offered women a smaller starting salary and offered less career mentoring
This was the result even though the applications were exactly the same
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Benevolent Biases
Women are believed to be “naturally” more kind, emotional and compassionate but men are believed to be “naturally” stronger, rational and powerful.
Solicitousness for women’s welfare and their family responsibilities.
Praise women for performance but assign them devalued assignments.
If women are believed to be emotional, mild and sensitive, women get assignments less difficult and challenging than those given to men.
This polite “help” and sympathy undermines women’s careers and can be insulting.
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Double Standard
Women must prove their competence Men are presumed to be competent Women must repeatedly prove competence through
achievements “He’s skilled. She’s lucky.”
Same behavior is viewed differently “He’s thoughtful. She’s hesitant.” “He’s decisive. She’s impulsive.” “He’s busy. She has trouble with deadlines.”
Women’s mistakes are remembered long after men’s are forgotten
Evaluators are more likely to notice and remember information that confirms (rather than contradicts) stereotypes.
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Double Bind
Communal women are viewed as warm, good natured, and likable but not competent.
Agentic women are viewed as competent but evaluated negatively as not likable.
Actions applauded in men are seen as unacceptable in women. “He’s incisive. She’s abrasive,
too outspoken, not a team player and lacks interpersonal skills.”
“He knows his own worth.She’s a shameless self-promoter.”
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Double Bind (cont’d)
Women are evaluated favorably when they conform to traditional feminine roles but not if they don’t conform.
Women are left in less valued jobs, with limited advancement opportunities.
Successful lawyers are assumed to be men, so women lawyers are assumed to be incompetent (if communal) or not nice (if agentic).
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Beware the Double Bind Too tough, too soft, but never “just right.” Women must prove they can lead. Women lawyers are “competent” or “likable,” but rarely
both. If women speak in an inclusive (communal)
way, seen as ineffective. If women speak straight forward and directly
(agentically), seen as unfeminine or aggressive. If a man gets angry at work, he can be admired for it. If a woman gets angry at work, she is “out of control,”
“emotional,” or “incompetent.” Successful women lawyers use a combination of both
agentic and communal traits.
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Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall
Pregnant women and mothers face the Maternal Wall Strong workforce bias against them When women need time off to handle family matters,
they are viewed as lacking commitment and competence
Hostile stereotyping: “Mothers belong at home” Working mother told her place is in the home
Benevolent stereotyping: “Killing Moms with kindness” Senior lawyers do not consider a
mother for a major project on the assumption she will not want to work the hours or travel
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Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall (cont’d)
Strong presumption that working mothers cannot do both jobs well and must be less committed and competent (particularly part-time employees)
Many career opportunities are basedon what men think working mothers should do, rather than asking them what they want to do
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Double Jeopardy
Extensive literature documents negative assumptions triggered by race or ethnicity
Women of color face both gender and racial or ethnic biases
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Gender Communication Tendencies
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What It’s All About
Non-verbal tendencies in gender communication- Body language- Physical appearance- Use of physical space
Language content and patterns
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Non-Verbal Differences Body Language
Use of physical and personal space Men tend to take up more space (high power); women less (low power)
Gestures Men tend to gesture away from their bodies (high power); women towards
their bodies (low power)
Listening Men rarely nod while listening (agentic); women tend to nod while
listening to acknowledge points (communal).
Posture during listening Men tend to lean back (high power);
women forward (low power)
Handshakes Men tend to offer stronger handshakes (high
power); women weaker handshakes (low power)
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Language Content and Patterns
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In conversation: In mixed groups, men tend to talk more, women less.
Directness of statements: Men are direct and sharp, women are vague and imprecise.
Commands or orders: Men tend to give commands or orders, women tend to be indirect and make suggestions.
Answering questions: Men tend to answer questions directly, women tend to answer one question with another question.
Language Content
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Interrupting others: Men tend to interrupt more; women interrupt less.
Verbal opposition: Men tend to engage in verbal opposition without seeing it as a personal attack; women tend to avoid it and take it personally.
Anger: Men tend to shout or yell to express anger; women tend to cry.
Humor: Men are more likely to engage in derogatory or put-down humor; women are less likely to do so.
Apologies: Men tend not to apologize but if they do, it is with little emotion; women apologize and tend to talk about their feelings.
Self promotion: Men praise themselves more than they tend to praise others; women are less likely to praise themselves and are more likely to praise others.
Language Content (cont’d)
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Communal Language Patterns
“I may be off base here but....”“I don’t know if this is helpful but....”
“Maybe I’m wrong about this but....” “I’m not an expert but….”
“This is a guess on my part but….”
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“I’m Sorry”
Studies show women believe that they have done something justifying an apology more than men do. Women also say “I’m sorry” to express
sympathy and make connections. Men find it difficult to say they are
sorry. If women repeatedly say “I’m sorry,”
men think they must have something to apologize for (why else would she say she’s sorry?)
Try something like: “that’s too bad,” or “that’s terrible news,” “or I’m sure you are disappointed.”Not, “I’m sorry.”
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When Getting Assignments
Women: Ask questions to verify and validate information and make connections in non-confrontational ways.
Men: Less likely to ask questions because don’t want to negatively affecting their rank or status.
Result: When women ask deferential questions, they may be perceived as “not self-starters,” “less expert,” “need their hands held” or are “too high-maintenance.” Men may get a “pass” because perceived to be “self-starters,” “aware of the scope of the project” and “with the skills to proceed.” The result is decreased information flow.
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Women: Tend to respond with a lot of detail that may precede their bottom-line conclusions.
Men: Tend to respond by getting to the answer first, with details following, if asked about them.
Result: Women can be incorrectly seen as not understanding the assignment, lacking confidence or not being intellectually strong because the detail confuses their listeners.
Answering Assignments
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Giving Instructions and Assignments
Women: Women tend to give instructions in a more indirect way than men.
Men: Tend to give direct orders. Result: Women supervisors can be incorrectly
perceived as indecisive, lacking confidence, or seeking advice rather than actually giving assignments. Women who are direct can be criticized as “bossy.”
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Mixed-Gender Discussions
Women: Tend to focus on whether everyone has a fair chance to speak. As a result, women often talk briefly and remain quiet to allow others enough “air-time.” And when women do speak, they are more likely to stop talking when they are interrupted.
Men: Don’t consider the concept of “equal air-time.” Men “pile on” to show agreement and solidarity with what other men say. They tend to interrupt women more than they interrupt men.
Result: Men dominate mixed-gender discussions. Women do not get credit for ideas they initially raise but that are developed by men. Men miss crucial information and valuable contributions of women. Less effective work product.
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How to Navigate Gender Bias
Learn the Written and Unwritten Rules
Advocate for Yourself Don’t Get in Your Own Way Manage the Impressions
You Give to Others Develop Your Grit and a
Growth Mindset Seek Mentors,
Sponsors and Allies Make Connections
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Learn the Written and Unwritten Rules
Start with the official workplace rules, policies, and procedures
Study business best practices
Identify rewarded behaviors
Identify effective communicators
Watch successful lawyers to learn a trick or two of how to navigate workplace bureaucracy
Do you work with powerful people? Do you get high visibility and important projects?
Don’t live by email alone
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Manage the Impressions You Give to Others
Be aware of the reactions other people have about you
Accurately observe nonverbal communication Listen carefully to what is really being said Understand that gender stereotypes and biases
are held by women as well as men Be aware of the stereotypical line between
technical and social competence
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Response: Impression Management
Speak agentically and communally to show technical and social competence.
Decide when to speak (pick your shots), knowing silence is a form of communication.
Listen carefully and interpret.
Speak when you have something to say, and don’t worry about being seen as aggressive or dominating.
When senior men adopt inclusive, collegial “women’s style” conversations, often men and women both speak that way.
If you think you might cry, leave the situation until you can control your emotions
If angry, slow down, talk slowly and calmly. Don’t yell.
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Response: Avoid Protective Defensive Behaviors
Some women hold themselves back, self edit, or dumb down to be liked
Other women choose not to seek out high value assignments requiring agentic behavior
And yet others choose not to seek promotion opportunities
You should avoid these responses
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Build Up and DemonstrateYour Confidence
Mind Priming Power Posing When you feel powerful,
you can perform at the top of your game
Even if you don’t feel it, fake it
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Build Grit and a Growth Mindset
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What Does it Mean to be Gritty?
Persistence Sustained, passionate pursuit of your
long-term goals Try, try again
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What is Your Mindset About Talent and Effort?
Fixed mindsets Believe intelligent people are
born that way Believe talent and intelligence
are everything Effort is fruitless Threatened by success of
others Hard to cope with setbacks
Growth mindsets No matter what your natural
aptitude, effort is what you need to improve and achieve
Committed and motivated It can get better with hard
work and effort and set- backs can be learned from
Effort is the path to mastery and success
Inspired by the success of others
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Grit and a Growth Mindset go Together Grit predicts legal achievement, more than GPA
or rank in law school
Grittier people tend to work harder and longerthan their peers, are more likely to practice to improve their performance, more likely to “stay the course,” and not to get distracted by immediate, short-term interests
Grit is particularly important in challenging contexts
People with growth mindsets see their abilitiesas something that can be developed throughdedication and effort
The result? Those with a growth mindset tend tooutperform those with fixed mindsets
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Lawyers, Grit and Growth Mindsets
Lawyers tend to be gritty Grit is related to success in law, including billable
hours and quality of work Grit results in legal success, grit does
not grow by legal success Lawyers don’t like failure
so, your mindset should be on improvement, not failure
Specialize in your filed and seekout challenging assignments
Feel exhilaration at your growth
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Conversations with Yourself
Instead Of … I’m not good at this. I’m great at this. I can’t do this. This is too hard. It’s good enough as it is. I can’t do this any better. I made a mistake. I’ll never be as smart as she is. I give up.
Try Something like… What am I missing? I’m on the right track. I’ll keep trying. I’m going to work
at this. This will take some time and a real
effort. Is this really as good as I can do
this? I can always improve; I’ll keep
trying. Mistakes help me learn and
improve. I’m going to figure out what she
does and try. I will not give up.
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Conversations with Yourself . . .
Instead Of … Nothing I do will make a
difference. I’m a failure. I’m not awesome at this. I’m so stupid. I’m too slow.
Try Something like… I’ll try something new. I’ll give it a try. I’m on the right track What am I missing? I’ll keep practicing.
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Advocate for Yourself Approach self-evaluations with
planning, determination, and effort
- My personal observations- Based on careful review of well
over 1,000 self-evaluations- Easy to identify those written by
men and those by women Men (as a group) are self laudatory,
making their career objectives known
Women (as a group) down-play their accomplishments, act modestly, and are silent about their career objectives
You need to boldly recount your accomplishments (as long as you can prove them, if necessary)
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Show Off Your Strengths
Teach classes, seminars, or CLE programs Participate in (don’t just join) professional associations Make speeches Write articles Get involved in community service Get out and be seen in your
professional capacity
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Focus on Advancement
Tell your supervisors about your professional objectives.
Your feelings, desires, and accomplishments are NOT automatically known to your supervisors and colleagues.
Confidently explain your achievements and be prepared to prove them
Clearly articulate your career and compensation expectations.
Seek out mentors, sponsors and allies.
Seek out challenging projects that allow you to grow
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Don’t Get In Your Own Way
Firm handshakes and appropriate eye contactare important.
Maintain balance in your delivery: Too assertive: unreasonable Too deferential: ignored or marginalized
Maintain balance in your demeanor: Too professional: difficult to establish rapport Too personal: difficult to command respect
Don’t wait your turn to speak because it may never come.
Dress appropriately and comfortably.
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Seek Mentors, Sponsors, and Allies
Women and men you work with or report to can be excellent mentors, sponsors and allies if they know your career objectives.
Understand that traditional gender stereotypes and biases are held by women as well as men.
Offer to help potential mentors and sponsors with something important to them; relationships are a two way street.
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Connect, Connect, and Connect Some More
Have a memorable one minute introduction (what’s new in your career), ready to use at any time.
Develop an inside and outside network to create a positive buzz about you.
Stay in touch throughout the year with those with a “say” in your career.
Participate on committees and other groups to build workplace alliances and friendships.
Connect in ways different from “canned” pleasantries.
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Build a Support Network
Develop a strong support network of people you can trust
Find a trusted friend to talk with for support It helps you rethink and analyze your professional
and personal objectives It helps grit-building and helps you generate the
energy to carry out your objectives
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Reflections
Make yourself valuable and have the right attitude.
When something concerns you, speak up. Don’t stew about it.
If you make a mistake, acknowledgeit and move on. Don’t dwell on it.
Get the most out of the impressions you make.
Communicate clearly.
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More Reflections
Ask for feedback about your work. Don’t get defensive.
Give effective, motivational, and positive feedback (as well as constructive feedback)
Be politically savvy and get a sponsor
Beware of gender stereotypes and biases
Use Impression Management Consider gender communication
tendencies.
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Discussion
Andrea S. KramerMcDermott Will & Emery LLPPartnerChair, Financial Products, Trading & Derivatives GroupChair, Gender Diversity [email protected]+1 312 984 6480