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1An Addicts Ramblingsby

Robert Noriega Mankin

A grateful recovering addict

All works composed by Robert Noriega Mankin

Copyright 02/27/07 All rights reserved.


2/26

Lucky Me

As I pass by the place I wasTheres still some old friends thereDoing what I used to doHeaded for nowhere

It was truly one bad roadYou were on it too!How we found and exit offI havent got a clue

Call it God or call it fateWe managed to surviveI know Ill cherish everyday

That I am left alive

I, for one, was truly lostWas blind and now I see

Amazing grace and all of youThat saved a fool like me

1


3/26

Too Cool

I am the archetypical over educated moronI can find just the salt

my every wound to pour on

I can snatch defeat away from any type success

Over think simplicity into a failing mess

Ive been my own worst enemy

Thought drugs could be a friend

What a foolish concept to lean on and depend

Lifes success and happiness

seem so very fleeting

Unless Im able to get up and

get to one more meeting


4/26

Drugs

Drugs are thugs

They rob your hugs.

They temp and tug

And drive you bugs

They set you up

Then yank the rug

From every single loser lug

They wipe the smile

Right off your mug

They take a life

And pull the plug

You best believe

That drugs are thugs !!!!!

By Robert Mankin


5/26


6/26

Drug Ride

You dont know me well enoughTo tell me what to doI can quit it anytimeIf I wanted to

I was having so much fun

Take a hike, Id scoffMy ride was going perfectly

Then the wheels came off

Jail! No Bail!No health No wealthNo sun No fun

No smiles No loveFrom anyone

Then one day, I found a wayA judge done sent me to N. A.

That I have changed cant be deniedIt put the wheels back on my ride


7/26

The Circle

Sick and tired Sick and tiredMy health, it seems, my bodys fired

My body aint had what it neededMy free choice drugs superseded

Avoiding things I once desiredI get so lost, bogged down and miredI have to keep my body wiredSo I wont feel so sick and tired


8/26

If Only

My po honey aint got no money

Funny how that seems to go

Bought some dope and hoped to cope

Jus made her life mo po

Shes all alone just her and Jones

And Jones wont let her be

Hes everywhere she tries to turn

But aint fit company

Cant stay high and cant get clean

She lives the hell thats in between

She fall down on her knees to pray

She needs to find a better way

If only she could get away

If only she could get away


9/26

Spirituality

Seeing myself as I really am

Putting you before me as much as I can

Ignoring the negative things that I hear

Relying on trust to take away fear

I need to repay all the people Ive hurt

Tell them Im sorry for doing them dirt

Until I can look in the mirror and confess

All the denial that made such a mess

Living to love and loving to live

In service to others dedicated to give

Try living this way I think you will see

Youll be the spirit in spirituality


10/26

Another

Just For Today

Just for today I will not bitch

About my persistent addicts itch

Just for today Ill try to smileNo matter how my troubles pile

Just for today Ill think of others

Instead of all my petty bothers

Ill count my blessing just for today

And try to live a better way


11/26

The Soul Garage( N. A. Mtgs.)

Ive listened to you and everyone here

Im grateful to all, the fogs starting to clear

Ive taken some here and Ive taken some

there

A life once in shambles is here to repair

Im fixing myself and just like MacGyver

Thanks to every ones input

Im still a Survivor


12/26

Notes From the AuthorRobert Noriega Mankin

As of March 1st 20073,219days sober

One day at a time

These are 21 original works for addicts andabout addicts.

I wrote all of these poems/songs in meetingsrooms of Narcotics Anonymous while attending.

They are the result of all the things I heard,read and felt as people shared their individualbattles with addiction and recovery. They alsoreflect my own eight plus years in N.A., as Icontinue my journey from addiction to sobriety.

During the year 2006 I wrote down all these

bits of inspiration and memory. Each meetingbrought me (and still brings) new stories, ideas,and feelings to explore.

I thank everyone for their honesty, openmindedness, and willingness to share theirthoughts and feelings and listen to mine. All of

you have inspired me and helped me staysane.

I hope these works will inspire anewcomer or remind veterans of how it


13/26

worked for you. Keep coming back! It works ifyou work it!


14/26


15/26

Lady Addiction

Damn! Here I am in court again

I cant believe its trueDressed in orange, handcuffs, and chainsI dont know what to do

I told myself the last timeI wont come back no more butI never had the power not

To knock upon your door

You said, come in here baby!Just like you always doI felt so safe and happyLike I always do with you

It starts out great our little danceSo sweet the feel of new romanceIts guaranteed there aint no chanceI wont end up in these orange pantsSo Baby here I go againSame ending to this taleUntil I learn to quit youIll be goin back to Jail


16/26

Fight It Hard!

Just throw it down and kick itDont let it bring you downDont get your spirit brokeAnd dragged all over town

Just throw it down and kick it

Then turn and walk awayYou cant lose what you aint got

No matter what they say

(bridge)Take a step out of the dark

Let the love light find your heart

Give yourself a brand new startDo it now! Do it now! Do it now

Just throw it down and kick itGive yourself a chance

Dont get stuck in tryin to rightSome done gone wrong romance

Just throw it down and kick itDont let it bring you downDont get your spirit brokeAnd dragged all over town


17/26

Nobodys Perfect

Grow up! Get right! Be responsible!Quit havin too much funStand up! Work hard! Be on time!Work from sun to sun!

Shape up! Own up! Never cheat!

Youre only cheating youBe neat! Be clean! Be organizedIn everything you do

Be perfect! Cant afford mistakesNever stop to rest!Be diligent and study hard!

Get As on every test!

Go all out! Dont let upEvery single dayUntil the men in bright white coatsDrag your ass away


18/26

A Song of Recovery

Today I recovered my sofaRecovered my easy chair too

Recovered from screwin up most of my lifeId love to recover from you

Recovered the seats in my Chevy

If you saw it, it looks like brand newRecovered from booze, drugs, and

Rock & Roll musicBut I aint got no rehab for you

(bridge)It took a few years, some blood sweat and tears

Rome wasnt built in a dayI put a big halt to most of my faults

Almost got it goin my way

I recovered from double pneumoniaRecovered from bad Asian flu

Recovered from most of the troubles Ive had

but Cant seem to recover from you

I might be better off with the blues


19/26

H. O. W. (and How)

Be honest and willingHave wide open mind

To leave most of your troublesAnd worries behind

Not that you wont

Have a trial or twoBut a brand new approachCould fix them for you

Youll find it todayMore simple to copeWith an attitude more

Conducive to hope

Gratitude, loveAnd peace you will findWith an honest and willingAnd wide open mind


20/26

Higher Power

A little faith, a little trustImproves things by the hourSince my lifes been guided by

My new found higher power

He or she has done me rightMy attitudes less sour

Things been workin out just fineThank you higher power

When things get tough n scaryDont run away or cower

Theres something thatll rescue youIts called your higher power

In to each life there comes some rainWe cant avoid the shower

The thing that dries us off each timeIs called our higher power


21/26

90 days

The judge said, Better change your ways!Then he gave me 90 daysI said, Judge, thats much too long!The time dont fit what I done wrong!

The judge said, Son, I set the time

That people serve for every crime.And heres a thing you wont ignore,I sentence you to 90 more!

(chorus)90 days plus 90 days

Too much bail for me to raise

Getting high my only crimeI wont be out til Christmas time

I wish the law would let me beBut they will never set me freeCant do my time, be free and clearIm on probation 4 mo years

The system it has sealed my fateCause I cant help but violateIts too damn hard to change my waysSo Ill be back for 90 days


22/26

Much Too Tight

People who are wrapped too tightCan be a lot of funIt can be quite spectacular

To watch them come undone

Dont take too much to set them offIt can be quite a sight

To watch a human fly apartAt near the speed of light

I know it doesnt seem so niceTo watch such a mishapBut no one seems to loosen upUntil they come unwrapped

You cant rebuild dysfunctionGreat thinkers have discernedWithout complete destructionA great life lesson learned


23/26

At This Special Time of Year

(the Holidays)

Ill try to help my fellow manAs the spirit moves meIll give to him all that I canAs the spirit grooves me

Love and service are the grandForces that behoove meWith these strengths I can withstandEvil trying to use me

War and greed throughout the landAre things that most abuse me

Rationales for either onePhilosophies that lose me

I shall rejoice in love not hateOf this youll not confuse meIf I offend against intentI hope you will excuse me

Joy to the world and Peace on earth


24/26

The Best Laid Plan

Once I had dough and plenty of blowPeople to see and places to goFeelin no pain my life was insaneWas the fastest young man in the fastest fastlanePlayed the guitar, I knew Id go far

Come hitch your wagon to my rising star

Next thing I knew I was dressed up in blueA guest of the county in a cell just for twoBusted for dope and left with no hopeIt left me in ruins and dared me to copeI needed a miracle a real anti curse

I was chapter and verse, case scenario worst!

Then miraculously I started to attend N.A.

I stopped all my sins and started againReclaiming my life from depths it had beenI was rarin to go but they said take it slow.

I nurtured the seeds for my spirit to grow

Im becoming a man who finally canStart living his life by a spiritual planIm blessed from above with a family to love

They fill up my heart, theyre all I think of

It proves theres a source, a goodness, a forceIt flows through each life and keeps us oncourseEmbrace it today and youll need not remorse

The power of love, Im here to endorse


25/26

Learning to Trust

Secret Lives and shameful liesHide secret cuts by many knivesOur band-aids help but dont disguise

The pain we feel and try to hideBlame yourself! Shrink from light!Its all your fault! You know youre right!

Since no one could be worse than youTheres no one you can tell it toIsolated and ashamed

Youre so deserving of the blameThank god no one can read your mindOh the shame ! With what theyd find

Could there be some help for you?Could someone feel the way you do?Sharing pain bring out Gods graceMiracles start taking placeOne we start to trust we findWere all the same.humankind


26/26

Moment of Clarity Blues

I gotsta quitcha babyCant afford to feel this badI gotsta quitcha babyCant afford to feel this badNever understood this feelinIts the worst I ever had

One night without you babymy body starts to shake

One night without you babymy body starts to shake

Betty Ford aint got no answerFor what I need to take

Please lock me in the basement,Like a werewolf from the MoonGot to lock me in the basementLike a werewolf from the MoonWithout you Im a monsterAint no tellin what Ill do

I gotsta quitcha babyCant afford to feel this bad

I gotsta quitcha babyCant afford to feel this bad

Got to lose this awful feelinIts worst I ever had

Its the worst I ever had

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