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presented by
Keith A. Bailey, Ph.D.
Keith Bailey Consulting www.keithbaileyconsulting.com
Copyright © 2006 by Keith A. Bailey
How many times have you heard, thought, or said:
“Why won’t they just try harder?” “He’s just given up?” “She just doesn’t want to be helped!” “Why should I keep helping them when
they won’t help themselves?”
We will think about:CultureClassMiddle-class mindsetLearned helplessnessRecognizing our issues and frustrationsWhat we can do
How do we assess people by Class?
Gender Ethnicity Religion Sexual orientation Where they live
How safe is it
Physical and mental well-being
Credit lines Disposable income Vacations When to start work
or retire How many
paychecks they are from homelessness
(Kliman & Madsen)
Classes Superstars Business Owning Professional/
Managerial Working Class Underclass (Kliman & Madsen)
Upper
Middle
Lower
The Middle Class MindsetJust World Theory
“You get what you deserve.”The American Dream
“If you just work hard enough, you can be anything you want to be.”
An Internal Locus of Control
Learned HelplessnessThere Is No Justice
“I’ll get a bad deal no matter what I do.”No Dream
“Why work at it; it’s not going to get any better.”
External Locus of Control
Children and Learned HelplessnessAbuse
Can associate old events with new situations
Attribution of failure made to self rather than the circumstances
Personal helplessness Universal helplessness
Learned helplessness can lead to depression.
Helplessness can be UnlearnedSeligman’s dogs …
… the rest of the story.
We can help our children and families unlearn helplessness by helping them to succeed and gain control in their lives.
But first ……we have to remember that our own
class background will color our view of those with whom we work
But first ……we have to understand our mindsets as
opposed to theirs … and be sympathetic (understanding) or even empathetic (sharing of feelings).
“…we must … fit our understanding to [children and] families rather than fitting [children and] families to our understanding.”
(Kliman & Madsen)
“The poor and lower classes, because of their lack of resources and power, often are unable to manage stressful events will, and thus remain highly vulnerable
as they depend on the coping strategies of passive acceptance or fatalism
simply because these are all they have.”
(Pauline Boss)
Then …… we have to deal with our frustrations and not give up
on them, too.
Vent to a peer or supervisor Be patient and persistent Problem solve Be patient Seek guidance Be persistent Pray or meditate … …to develop the patience of a saint
Help and HopeRegain [or gain] self-esteem in self or
family member and pride in themselves or in the family as a team
Regain control over what happens to themselves or to the family members, individually and as a group.
(Pauline Boss)
Help and HopeMake some bit of sense out of what
happened by finding some meaning in what happened.
Share with others while actively working to prevent it from happening again.
(Pauline Boss)
ReferencesBoss, P. (1988). Family stress manamement. Newbury Park, CA:
Sage Press.
Kliman, J. & Madsen, W. (1999). Social class and the family life cycle. In B. Carter & M McGoldrick (Eds.), The expanded family life cycle: Individual, family and social perspectives (pp. 88-105). Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Martin E.P. Seligman, et al. Learned helplessness: A theory for the
age of personal control.