MoreThanWords

ManagingChallengingBehaviour.(EarlyYears)

AComplexProcess

•  WeneverstopcommunicaAngfromfirsttolastbreath

•  Thestruggletobeunderstood

•  Thestruggletounderstandothers

TheTrilogy

TheThreeMainAspectsofCommunicaAon

•  Verbal

•  Vocal

•  Nonvocal

Verbal

•  Thewordswespeak

•  Developsfromtwelvemonthsonward

•  AidsdescripAonofourthoughtsandfeelings

•  Cancauseconfusion!!!

Vocal

•  Thesoundsweomitfromourvocalchords

•  Emphasisesmeaning‐emoAon,passion,intensity,negaAvity

•  Includestone,volume,punctuaAon

NonVocal

•  NosoundjustacAon!

•  Powerfulre‐enforcerofbothverbalandvocalcommunicaAon

•  OncedevelopedBodyLanguageisconsistentthroughoutlifeAme

WhatstheStory

InfluencesonCommunicaAon

•  Theenvironmentwefindourselvesin

•  Themoodwearein

•  TherelaAonshipwithotherspresent

•  InnerDialogue(SelfTalk)

OtherInfluences

•  OurpercepAonofthetask

•  OurpercepAonofourownabilitytocompleteatask

•  Thestruggleforbalancebetweentheabove

TheSupermarketExperience

•  Parentandtoddler‐sharedexperiencebutdifferentmoAvaAon

•  Parenthastasktocomplete

•  Childhasotherideas!!•  Parentperceivesdifficulty

•  Childperceivespleasure•  LetbaUlecommence!

TheParent

•  UsesnegaAveverbalisaAon

•  “Stopit”,“leaveit”,“don’t”and“Ohgod!”

•  Anxious,hurried,distracted

•  Awareofaudience

TheChild

•  SAmulated,aroused,excited•  Smiling,running,touching

•  Poking,tasAng,spilling•  WellmoAvatedforchaos!

•  Notinterestedinaudience•  PosiAveinnerdialogue

TheOutcome

•  Parentfightsforcontrol•  Parentbecomesincreasinglyanxious

•  Anxietyflipstoanger•  Parentlosescontrol•  PosiAvecommunicaAonbreaksdown

•  ParentinadvertantlyrewardsnegaAvebehaviour•  Experiencesparentalguilt•  Associatessupermarketwithstress

OutcomeForChild

•  LearnshowtogainrewardsthroughnegaAvebehaviour

•  Connectspublicplacestoanxiety•  ConfusedreadultcommunicaAon‐mixedmessages

•  Getsabellyfullofsugar!

AnxietyAndCommunicaAon

•  ThemoreanxiousapersonthepoorerthecommunicaAon

•  MoreuseofverbalcommunicaAon

•  Cantseethewoodsforthetrees•  ThoughtsandacAonsspeededup•  CogniAvefuncAonimpaired‐becomeirraAonal

AnxietyAndCommunicaAon(cont)

•  AnxietyismoreinfecAousthantheflu!•  Wecommunicateanxietyunconsciously

•  Westorememoriesofpastanxiousencounters

•  WeassumethatpastdifficulAeswillberepeated

•  Themerethoughtofanupcomingencountercreatesanxiety

GetMeOutOfHere!

•  UnchallengedtheanxietydevelopsintoFight/Flight

•  Avoidancebehavioursdevelop•  Selfconfidenceandselfesteemdiminish•  RelaAonshipssuffer•  MoAvaAondecreases•  TheAnxietyCycleconAnues•  EffecAvecommunicaAonbreaksdown

CanAnyoneHelpMe?

UseInnerDialogueposiAvely

ChallengeirraAonality

Checkreality

UseERT

ERT(EmergencyRelaxaAonTechnique)

•  Say“Stop”toyourself•  Breathein(deep)•  Dropshoulders•  Breathein•  Relaxfaceandjaw•  Breathein•  Tellyourselftoslowdown

INNERDIALOGUE

•  IsyourSelfTalk•  CanbeposiAveornegaAve•  Impactsonyourmentalhealth•  Canbechanged•  Mustbechallenged•  IsyourcoreareaforselfmoAvaAon•  Wecaninfluencetheinnerdialogueofothers

•  Wecannotcontroltheinnerdialogueofothers

HelpingYourself

•  Beawareofyourmood

•  Beawareofyourhistorywithintheenvironment•  BeawareofyourhistorywithinworkrelaAonships•  Playtoyourstrengths•  Manipulateyourenvironment•  Encouragefeedback•  Thequickestwaytohelpapersonchangethewaytheycommunicateistochangethewayyoucommunicate

Calming •  Use ERT on self •  Use non verbal behaviour •  Encourage Child to talk or refocus •  Offer reassurance to Child •  Proceed gradually (beware of moving too fast) •  Anticipate challenging behaviours •  Avoid audiences (other Children/Adults can

exacerbate situation)

Reaching •  Show empathy and warmth •  Use self disclosure carefully

Controlling •  Break issues into component parts •  Offer alternatives -  encourage Child to consider more constructive

methods of expression •  Attempt to structure Childrens/peoples

expectations -  identify what Child wants/needs •  Present both sides of the issues - listen to Childs view and present yours

Controlling (cont) •  Use facts -  Request delayed compliance -  give Child time to consider request •  Avoid making Child lose face -  treat Child with respect •  Use praise freely - praise positive behaviours when you can.Thank

the child for their efforts.