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Christ and CreationUnit 3: The Fruits of New Life

(Lessons 10-14)NEW LIFE IN THE HOME- - -m m m J l l - - - - INTRODUCTION DEVOTIONAL READING:1 CORINTHIANS 1:4-17A. SERIOUS PROBLEM"I hate divorce." Do you ever hear anyone say that? Children of divorced BACKGROUND SCRIPTURE

EPHESIANS 5:1-6:4parents may say it with their actions, if not literally with their words. Peoplewho have been divorced may say it with their misery. So do their friends and PRINTED TEXT:EPHESIANS 5:21-6:4loved ones who watch the misery unfold. Ministers and counselors who helpclean up the mess are certainly no fans of divorce. God himself hates divorce(see Malachi 2: 16).As painful as divorce is, many families who stay together don't do much bet- I

ter at modeling God's love for one another as the Scriptures command. Children LESSON AIMSmay r ~ i e c t their parents' values after experiencing such dysfunction. For the sake After participating in thiof our children and the future of the church, we need to make sure family rela- lesson, each student will betionships conform to Scripture rather than to cultural norms. able to:Note: Some in your class may be single and/or childless, either voluntarily 1. List Paul's commandsor involuntarily. Be sensitive to these as you teach today's lesson. However, for wives, husbands, childredon't shy away from the topics at hand because of oversensitivity. Remember and fathers.that the apostle Paul, author of today's Scripture text, was himself almost cer- 2. Evaluate his or her famtainly both single and childless. : ily relationships in light ofPaul's commands.B. LESSON BACKGROUND 3. State one change to

Paul knew the families of the Ephesian church well. After all, he had spent i make to align his or her famabout three years among them (Acts 20:31). It was the Ephesian elders who i ~ with God's Word.had given him such an emotional farewell as he set sail for Jerusalem (Acts20:13-38). That farewell was about five years in the past when Paul wroteto his beloved Ephesians. The families of that church were under pressure(compare Revelation 2:1-7), Parents had to bring up their children in theshadow of the great pagan temple to Artemis. Much of the economy of thecity revolved around that edifice (Acts 19:23-41). The temptation of "to getalong, you have to go along" is not new to the twenty-first century.I. TRANSITION (EPHESIANS 5:21)21. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.The New International Version, as other versions, organizes the flow of thetext in paragraphs. Paragraphs help us identify units of thought and transitions to new thoughts. In this regard, the verse before us isn't really the opening line of Ephesians 5:22 and following. Rather, verse 21 sums up some ofPaul's thoughts leading to Ephesians 5:20. Those thoughts include the need .for Christians to avoid certain things (example: drunkenness, v. 18) while em- : _KFt_T_V_ERS_E _bracing various holy practices (example: singing to the Lord, v. 19). Submit to one an-Christian harmony in these areas requires submitting to one another out of other out of reverencereverence for Christ. While Paul is on the topic of submission, he decides to for Christ.dig deeper. -Ephesians 5:

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MAY 2 4 - > - ~ Q 0 9 _ ___ - - " " 3 ~ S 6 NEW LIFE IN T H L H LESSON 13 NOTES II. FOR WIVES (EPHESIANS 5:22-24)A. INSTRUCTION (V. 22)22. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

The meaning of this verse has been hotly debated. That word submit stria raw nerve in many. Genesis 3: 16 reminds us that Paul is not coming up wsomething new: "your husband . . . will rule over you." And I Peter 3: 1 is slar. The reason for the instruction we see here is the subject of the next vers

WHAT Do You THINK?Hmv has reverence for B. HIERARCHY (w. 23, 24)Christ played a role in your 2 ~ For the h u s ~ a n d i the h e a ~ of the wife as Christ is the head of the churSL bmission tofi llmv b Hever 7 hIS body, ofwhIch he IS the SavIOr.

l [See Psalm f11: 1Deand s. Why should .the wife submit: ~ e c a u s e ~ h husband is ~ h head of the wifeProverbs 9:10 before The word head IS often symbolIc III the BIble for authonty (examples: 2 Saal1Swering.] ueI22:44; Ephesians 1:22). Even today we talk about someone being "hecheerleader" or "heading up a project." Back in the 1980s and 1990s, soscholars proposed that head should be understood not as "authority," bu"source." However, that idea was never supported by evidence. In a biblichome, the husband is the head.Some say this is degrading to women. Yet are we demeaned if we subm; to other authorities such as the police, church elders, or the boss at work

I Paul discusses this hierarchy also in I Corinthians 11:3.I 24. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to th: husbands in everything.. We would never question whether the church should follow the leadersofJesus Christ. In the same way, the Bible indicates that God expects the to follow the lead of her husband, although it may seem old-fashioned or

"out of touch" in today's culture.Notice the Bible does not command a woman to submit to each and eman; if she is married, she is to submit to the one man to whom she hasvowed to be faithful. A woman who chooses to marry is to be devoted tolowing her husband as to Christ himself.It is indeed a high and difficult calling for wives to be subject to their hubands in everything. Scripture is clear that there are limits to obedience to thority when a violation of God's law is at stake (Acts 4: 19; 5: 29). If a wohas a husband who asks or tries to force her to do something that contradGod's Word, she must obey God.III. FOR HUSBANDS (EPHESIANS 5:25-33)

I A. COMMAND (V. 25a)25a. Husbands, love yourwivesPaul now turns his attention to the husbands. The command love your wcould be taken in different senses if the thought ended right there. But Paquickly follows by listing a model.B. EXTENT (w.25b-27)25b . . . . just as Christ loved the church and gave himselfup for her

WHAT Do You THINK? For husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gaveIn which areas of life is it himself up for her is no small command! As hard as it may be for the wife easiest and hardest for you to submit to her husband, the command for a husband to love his wife in thlove and submit? Why? way is undoubtedly the more difficult one to follow.

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LESSON 13 ~ ~ _ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ L ~ . ~ ~ . ~ _ ~ __ M A L 2 ~ O i 1 9 PERCEPTIONS AND CORRECTIONSMary Winkler was known as "the perfect mother, the perfect wife." But inMarch 2006, this minister's wife killed her husband with a shotgun. After herarrest, she claimed the shooting was an accident, but also hinted at years of abuseby her husband. Her father later spoke of the abuse he believed to have triggeredthe crime: "[It was] physical, mental, verbal. . . . I saw bad bruises. The heaviest

of makeup covering facial bruises."As the case wa5 nearing trial, someone self-identified as "Shannon" wrote ablogsaying, "The [church Winkler attended] is very degrading to women. Has anyonelooked into that[?] They are not allowed to do anything in church services and aremade to feel lesser than their husbands." One analysis claimed, "Statistics indicate that beneath the smiling, steadfast veneer of a pastor's wife, there often lies adeeply isolated woman who . . . frequendy feels neglected and left without a support system of her own.""Shannon" voices a common (mis)perception of how the church applies today'stext. How can that perception be corrected? Are some ministers-as-husbands guiltyof ignoring the spirit of what Paul is saying? If so, what can the church do to correct this problem? -c. R. B.

26. . . . to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through theword,According to the standard oEjesus, the test of one's success as a husbandis whether or not his wife is growing in holiness. Some wives we asked suggested several practical ways to do this: praying with and for her; guardingher from temptation; taking her to church every week; and taking the initiative to be the spiritual leader in your home by praying at meals are just a fewideas. The Word of God has the central place in anyone's growth in holiness.The description of washing recalls Titus 3:5.27. . . . and to present her to himselfas a radiant church, without stain orwrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.God declares the church to be holy and blameless because the blood ofChrist has forgiven our sins. The church's beauty in holiness grows as aresult of her faithfulness. Jesus looks to no bride other than his church(compare Revelation 21:2). She looks to no bridegroom other than Jesus(contrast Ezekiel 23).Husbands and wives will have eyes only for each other Men are known tobe more "visually oriented" than women when it comes to interacting withthe opposite sex. Perhaps this is why Paul draws on the visual cues of stain,wl1nllle, and blemish in illustrating a husband's responsibility. These refer, ofcourse, to spiritual issues, not physical ones. God calls husbands to see theirwives as beautiful and attractive for all the right reasons (Proverbs 31:30).C. PARALLEL (w. 28-30)28. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.He who loves his wife loves himself.The next three verses bring to mind the "one body" illustrations thatPaul uses elsewhere. In Romans 12:4, 5 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, the"body" is the church, with a stress on the fact that the individual membersform a unit. Here, that idea is delayed until verses 29, 30 (below). Theverse at hand stresses a certain logic that finds overtones in the "one flesh"

WHAT Do You THINK?What are some additionaways in which a husband canurture his wife spiritually?

WHAT Do You THINK?What are some ways ahusband and wife Call con-tinue to see one another asattractive as the years taketheir toll?

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MAY 2't->-2DQ9 .__ __ 251L_. ~ _ N E\\!...LlFE [!'LLH..LtlDAILY BIBLE READINGS

Monday, May 18 -Trained by God's Grace(Titus 2: 1-13)Tuesday, May 19-Partnership in Maniage(Genesis 2: 18-25)Wednesday, May20-Interpreting Traditions(Exodus 12:21-28)Thursday, May 21 -Parental Advice (Proverbs4:1-9)Friday, May 22 -Spiritual Guidance forFamilies (Colossians 3:12-24)

Saturday, May 23-Providingfor Family Members(l Timothy 5: 1-8)Sunday, May 24-Christian Family Relationships (Ephesians 5:21-6:4)

WHAT Do You THINK?What relationships orpotential relationships canbecome a threat to the 1711-mary of the husband-wiferelationship?

' concept of Genesis 2:24 (more on this below). Husband and wife fonnI, unit. Thus he who loves his wife loves himself.This fact has profound implications. At various times in history (and evin some cultures today), women have been treated as property. Paul will hnone of this! Men today may love their cars, tools, and lawn tractors in a ctain "pride of ownership" sense, but men are not to love their wives in thaway. Rather, they are to love their wives as their own bodies.I 29. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, jas Christ does the church-Think about how difficult it is to find anyone who hates his own bodyThere are a few who do, but that is very often due to some kind of mentalness. And there are a few religious people who hate their own flesh becauof a misguided doctrinal conviction that the human body is inherently evi(but see Genesis 1:31). These are not the situations that Paul expects.30. . . . for we are members of his body.This verse completes the parallel drawn between husband-and-\vife asI unit and Christ's body as a unit. The Christian married couple thus enjoyi kind of double unity: between themselves and within the church.D. GENESIS (v. 31)31. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united this wife, and the two will become one flesh. "We mentioned Genesis 2:24 earlier, and this is the specific reference. AGod perfonned the first wedding, he gave this summary of the purpose ofmarriage. Jesus quoted this same passage when he defended the purpose marriage before the Sadducees (Matthew 19:5). Here is the ultimate test ohusband's love: Is his wife the primary human relationship in his life?

i E. MYSTERY (v. 32)I 32. This is a profound mystery-but 1am talking about Christ and the chui Marriage is an illustration of Christ and the church. Paul says it is a myste. how this all work". But when a Christian couple truly loves one another oI the biblical model, they are showing the world the love, in some sense, thChrist has for his bride, the church.F. MUTUALITY (v. 33)33. However, each one ofyou also must love his wife as he loves himself, anthe wife must respect her husband.Perhaps you have admired the skill of a couple perfonning a waltz in amotion picture. The man leads confidently and lovingly; the woman followgracefully and beautifully. Jesus Christ wants to take our marriages and tuthem into a beautiful dance that illustrates his love for his bride. When Chtian husbands and wives love each other, the world says, "Look at that bea

j tiful couple!" And God gel') the glory.IV FOR CHILDREN (EPHESIANS 6: 1-3)A. WHAT TO Do (v. 1)1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.This command is certainly most difficult for the child whose parents dnot know God or who are not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit. So many

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LESSON 13 359 MAY 24,200excuses seem legitimate: my father is a jerk; my mother's demands are unrealistic; he's not even a Christian; she drinks; he's a hypocrite; she's noteven my real mom; they don't care about me.Even so, children are to obey their parents. The in the Lord qualifier perhaps brings back the idea we discussed earlier that we are not to obey peopleahead of God (again, Acts 4: 19; 5:29). If parents command a child to steal,lie, etc., then the child is to trust God and disobey the command. But thatseldom happens. Usually it is stubborn, rebellious hearts that lead childrento disobeyB. WHY TO Do IT (vv. 2, 3)2. "Honor yourfather and mother"-which is the first commandment with apromise-Paul, still addressing children, quotes the Fifth Commandment. This isfound in Exodus 20: 12 and Deuteronomy 5: 16. While "children, obey"speaks to the outward actions, honor speaks to the motivation of the heart.This command applies at all stages of life. Christians are to provide fortheir parents and grandparents in their old age ( l Timothy 5: 4-8). Jesus hadwords of condemnation for those who refused to do this (Mark 7:9-13).This commandment is the first of the Ten Commandments that comes with apromise. See the next verse.3. " . . . that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on theearth. "The promise is twofold: it will go well with you, and you will live long on theearth. If we compare Exodus 20:12 with Deuteronomy 5:16, we see that theone in Deuteronomy is the longer version. That is the one Paul is using.Does it not go well with children when they obey their parents, and does itnot go poorly with them when they disobey? Consider a teenager who comesto his parents requesting permission to go out with his friends that evening. Ifhe has been sour, complaining, even outright disobedient throughout the day,he is less likely to be granted his request. If on the other hand he has beenpleasant, obedient, and industrious, his parents are more likely to trust himwith privileges.The promise you may enjoy long life on the earth should be seen in the originallight as given to the nation of Israel. If the Israelites were a people who respected and obeyed their parents, then their days "in the land" would not becut short. Ezekiel 22: 7 reveals that a refusal to honor parents was one reasonthe people of]udah were exiled to Babylon, cutting short the nation's life. Wereap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). Those who are rebellious and violent invitethe same in return. Absalom is a good example (2 Samuel 15-18).V FOR FATHERS (EPHESIANS 6:4)A. NEGATIVE COMMAND (v. 4a)4a. Fathers, do not exasperate your children;Fathers will give account before God for how they handled (or didn't handle) their parental duties. The father's responsibility is summed up with twocommands, one negative and one positive.The negative command is do not exasperate your children. Have you everseen a child embittered toward his or her father? This tragedy does not usually happen overnight. It happens when a series of emotional wounds go

HOWTOSAy!TAbsalom. AB-suh-lum.Artemis. AR-teh-miss.Babylon. BAB-uh-lun.Colossians. Kuh-LOSH-unzCorinthians. Ko-RIN-thee

unz (th as in thin).Deuteronomy. Due-ter-AHNuh-me.Ephesians. Ee-FEE-zlnmz.Ezekiel. Ee-ZEEK-ee-ulorEe-ZEEK-yul.Malachi. MAL-uh-kye.Sadducees. SAD-you-seez.Titus. TY-tus.

Visual for Lesson 13.Point to this visual as youask, "How does the text yousee here tie in with today'slesson text?"

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M ~ 2L2Q09

PRAYERFather, thank you for cre-ating the family. We pray forour marriages. Forgive uswhen we are a poor illustra-tion to the world ofChrist'slove for the church. Empowerus with your Spirit that wewill love one another with thesacrificial love that you dem-onstrated when you were onthis earth. Help us to live insuch a way that our children

will want to follow our LordJesus. In his name we pray.Amen.

_ __ - - . l ~ __ _ NEW LIFE IN THLlunattended, and the wounds fester until they become an infected pool oemotions. Consider some of the ways a father can embitter his children: tling them; disciplining too strictly; setting unrealistic expectations; breakpromises; being uninvolved at home-the list goes on.B. POSITIVE COMMAND (v. 4b)4b . . . . instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.Paul moves on to the positive command: bring them up in the traininginstruction of the Lord. The word translated "bring them up" is translated"feeds" in Ephesians 5:29. Fathers are to feed their children, but this is ting about spiritual rather than physical food.The two words translated training and instruction have to do with lovidiscipline and correction. They are used in similar contexts in Hebrews 1and Titus 3: 10, respectively. What a wonderful balance Paul provides! Faare to be involved in their children's lives, with the goal that their childrewill be brought up under the discipline of God's Word. However, they ardo this lovingly, not harshly lest they embitter their children (compare Dteronomy 6:7; Colossians 3:21).

THAT WHICH Is NOTICEDA certain Ohio couple seemed to be kind, caring, and noble. The evidencethis was that they had done something few other parents would do: they hadopted 11 special needs children.The picture changed when authorities removed all the children from the homcharging the parents with cruelty: Witnesses in the case-including some ofchildren-testified that the children were forced to sleep in filthy wood-and-wcages. The parents claimed the children were put in the cages for protection, punishment. They also blamed social services personnel for not helping them wthe destructive behavior of some of the children. The parents were sentencedprison.Child-rearing is a significant, divine responsibility: It involves providing bnurture and correction in a godly manner The extremes and the criminal behior need to be dealt with, of course. But in so doing, let us not let godly parentgo unnoticed. -C . R.

CONCLUSIONImagine that the elders of your church came to you and said, "We arebeginning a new discipleship program, and we believe you are the perfeccandidate to lead a small group of people in this new program. We wantto prayerfully consider investing a significant portion of your time into thdisciples we are going to assign to you."Later, you tell your spouse what the elders have asked of you. "I havthought and prayed about this all day," you say. ''I'm thinking that perhaps God is leading me to say yes to this opportunity. It will mean I wihave to make some sacrifices. I will need to cut out some activities so tI can have time to spend with these three people. I'll have to get my owspiritual habits in order so that I can be an example. We'll have to let tcome into our home so they can witness a godly marriage. It's a little frening to think of this kind of responsibility, but I really think we can doit. Imagine what it would be like to really make a difference in the livesthese three individuals!"

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LE$.SQRlL .. 361.__Perhaps the elders have not come to you asking you to lead a discipleshipgroup. But ifyou are a husband/wife and/or father/mother, Jesus Christ hascommissioned you to "love your wife as Christ loved the church" or "respectyour husband" and "bring your children up in the training and instruction ofthe Lord." You have your marching orders. Will you make the sacrifices nec-essary to succeed?

Discovery Learning

MAY 24,200i THOUGHT TO REMEMBER

Illustrate Christ's love byloving one another.

The following is an alternative lesson plan emphasizing learning activities.Classes desiring such student involvement will find these suggestions helpful. At theback of this book are reproducible student pages to further enhance activity learning.INTO THE LESSONAsk your class to form small groups of two orthree. Encourage members of couples to go intodifferent groups. Then distribute all the follow-ing questions to each group and ask them to giveeach person a chance to answer them, if he or shewishes. Tell them they have 10 minutes to workthrough the questions.1. "What was the atmosphere in your home likewhen you were growing up? How well did everyoneget along?" 2. "What kind of marriage did your par-ents have? If there was divorce in your family, whatwas that situation like?" 3. "What impact does yourparents' marriage have on your family life today?"Conclude the discussion time by remarking,"Your parents' approach to their marriage probablyhad a significant effect on your family life whileyou were growing up. Today's Scripture will give ussome very helpful information on how to improveour own marriages and families."INTO THE WORDRead today's printed text aloud. Say, "Successfulrelationships in the home are built on the principles in verse 21. The first step, beyond submittingourselves to God the Father, is for all Christians tohave a spirit of submission toward one another. "Use the discussion groups created in the firstactivity to complete one of the following threetasks each. (If your class is large, assign duplicatetasks; if your class is small, double up on tasks.)Give each team a "vritten copy of their task, a photocopy of the lesson commentary on the appropriate passage of Scripture, a piece of poster board,and a marker.

Task # 1, Instructions for Wives: State practicalconclusions about wives' relationships with theirhusbands. Begin by reading Ephesians 5:22-24, 3Then use the lesson commentary to help you an-swer the following questions: 1. What foundationprinciple is Paul teaching about the wife's responsbility in the marriage relationship? 2. What reasonare given for wives submitting to their husbands?3. What are some practical ways to apply the emotionally charged issue of submission? Be ready toshare your conclusions with the class.Task #2, Instructions for Husbands: State practical conclusions about husbands' relationships witheir wives. Read Ephesians 5:25-33. Then usethe lesson commentary to help you answer thesequestions: 1. What foundational principle is Paulteaching about the husband's responsibility in themarriage relationship? 2. In what ways is the mar-riage relationship to be like Christ's relationshipto the church? 3. How can husbands demonstratetheir love for their wives? Be ready to share yourconclusions with the class.Task #3, Instructions for Children and Fathers:State practical conclusions about children's rela-tionships with parents. Read Ephesians 6:1-4. Thuse the lesson commentary to help you answer thfollowing questions: 1. What principles are beingtaught about a child's relationship to parents? 2.What reasons are given for children obeying andhonoring their parents? 3. How can adults continto honor their parents? 4. Why do you think Paulzeroes in on fathers in verse 4? Be ready to shareyour conclusions with the class.This can be a time-intensive activity, so you manot have time to have more than one of the teams

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MAY 2f, 2009 362 NEW LIFE IN THE Hreport its findings. If teams use poster boards towrite out their answers, you can display them. Ifyou have several teams working on each task andwant to give them all a chance to report, each teamcan report its findings on just one of the questions.

Alternative: Instead of the above tasks, use thetwo reproducible activities on page 383 in smallgroups.INTO LIFE

Say, "People may blame their parents' badexample for their own failures as spouses or as

parents. How valid is that excuse?" Allow sevclass members to share their thoughts. Then'1\ certain author has said, 'The family you cofrom isn't as important as the family you're goto have.' Do you agree with that statement? Wor why not?"

Conclude with, "If we don't want to be stucin bad habits that we learned from our familiesorigin, then we need to take seriously the teachings of Scripture about how to be good wives, husbands, and good parents. What one changeyou make to align your family with God's Wor