SESSION 9, Essay Writing

SESSION 9 : Essay Writing March 5-8, 2012

I. Pattern : ContrastA. Style : Point-By-Point

Thesis Statement (TS) = T + CI + PredictorsTS : Jakarta and London the two very different cities that can be viewed from many different (T) aspects : traffic condition, public facility, and cleanliness. (CI) (Predictors)

Jul / FLA / Acad.Writing Sup.Mat./Even 2012 1

More Introducing Sentences …………………………………………………..………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….(Thesis Statement/TS) Jakarta and London are two very different cities that can be viewed from many aspects, namely traffic condition, public facility, and cleanliness.

(Ts1) In Jakarta, the traffic condition is the first obvious thing marks the differences of both capital cities. (SD1) As a resident of Jakarta, I have experienced congestion almost every day and everywhere in this metropolis. (Explanations) What makes driving in Jakarta more irritating is the fact that the traffic is crowded almost every time I go out, whether it is early in the morning or late at night. In addition, the congestions not only occur on weekdays, but also on the weekends amazingly. (Examples) Wherever I go, from west to east and from north to south, there must be at least one congested street. It is a common condition if we find in areas such as, Menteng, Cempaka Putih, Daan Mogot, Kebon Jeruk, Tomang, Kemang, Kebayoran Baru, Kelapa Gading, Mangga Dua, and Pulo Gadung. The toll roads, which are supposed to be free of traffic because we pay for the access, are also overcrowded. On the contrary, when I explored London by a taxi, I faced traffic jam only on weekdays in business or tourist areas. The traffic occurs only in hectic areas, such as business areas in City of London and Canary Wharf because they are the heart of London’s Economic life. Shopping streets, like Oxford Street, Bond Street, and Regan Street, are also crowded because they are filled with many shoppers who go from one store to another. Congestion in London also happens only during workdays and just in after-work hours, not the whole day. (SD 2) Unorganized traffic also makes living in Jakarta harder. People cross the streets without taking appropriate without taking appropriate means, such as Zebra cross. Furthermore, they cross without waiting for the traffic lights to turn red, making it very dangerous for others to drive in Jakarta. Whereas, in London, the traffic seems so well run that unlike in Jakarta. The people are already aware of the need to cross via provided means. They also wait for the red lights fro the cars before crossing the streets because they value their life, as opposed to people in Jakarta. (SD3) Added to this tiresome traffic in Jakarta are a huge number of vehicles that run at the city’s streets. There are too many people having vehicles in Jakarta and thus make the streets filled with cars, trucks, and motorcycles. The presence of immense thoughtless motorcycle riders also worsens the traffic condition. Moreover, Jakarta does not have adequate and efficient public transport to support the transportation of its massive population, making private vehicles the primary way to travel in this city. Whereas, in London, because of high fuel price and high taxes imposed on private vehicles, the number of vehicles in this city is not too tremendous. Since the people do not intend to buy one, not many cars seen in the streets of London. Driving in London is also more comfortable because there are no crazy motorcycle drivers. In addition, people in London prefer London’s main public transport, the famous London underground, because the system sufficiently transport them to place they want to go. (Ts2) Another thing differs these two cities is in terms of public facilities. (SD1) Although there are many museums in Jakarta, these buildings are not in the mind of the people here. One thing contributes to this condition is because


museums in Jakarta are not well maintained. The collections left unorganized and the museum buildings are dirty. Jakarta’s museums also have only a few amounts of collections. On top of that, people in Jakarta seem uninterested to come to museums because they prefer to go to shopping malls, thus there are only few people seen in the museums. On the other hand, one of the outstanding museums in the world can be found out there in London, namely the British Museum and Museum of London. Since London government is aware of these museums’ tourism potential, the museums are kept well maintained, clean, and attractive. Moreover, museums in London have a wide range of stunning collections. Therefore, museums become one of the main recreational destinations for tourists as well as London residents alike. (SD2) However, when it comes to shopping malls, Jakarta offers the best access. (Examples) In Jakarta, people can shop everywhere because many shopping centers are dispersed across this city. North Jakarta has Mall Kelapa Gading Complex, Mall Artha Gading, Mall of Indonesia, and Emporium Pluit ; meanwhile South Jakarta has Pasaraya Manggarai, Pondok Indah Mall 1 and 2, Pacific Place, Plaza Semanggi, and Pejaten Village. West Jakarta also has a many shopping centers, suc as Mall Taman Anggrek, Central Park, and Mall Puri Indah ; and Central Karta has Grand Indonesia , Plaza Indonesia, Plaza Senayan, Senayan City, and the famous Mangga Dua shopping centers. Jakarta also has the best shopping centers because they are very big in size and have exquisite design and decoration as well. Just look at the appearance of Grand Indonesia, Mall Kelapa Gading, and Mall of Indonesia. In contrast, it is in fact quite difficult to shop in London because there are not many shopping malls. Mainly, the shopping centers are located in Oxord Street, Bond Street, and Regent Street. On these streets, retailers are agglomerated across the streets. Those shopping centers are also not like the huge malls we find in Jakarta. London’s two upscale shopping centers, Harrod’s and Fortnum and Mason, are not very big compared to those grand malls in Jakarta. Besides, as the center of business and metropolitan life activities, Jakarta has many business and residential buildings across its areas. (Examples) Many office buildings can be seen in various areas, such as Wisma 46, Sudirman Place, Bakrie Tower,a nd BCA Tower. The residential buildings in Jakarta are dispersed as well. In West Jakarta there is Apartment Taman Anggrek and in North Jakarta we can find the Summit Apartment and Paladian Park. Meanwhile, South Jakarta has the Peak and Pakubuwono Residence and in Central Jakarta, there is Sudirman Park Apartment. Yet, in London, because there is a restriction to not blocking the protected views of St.Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower of London, and the Westminster Palace, only few buildings built there. The office buildings are located only in the city’s business center areas in City of London and Canary Wharf, such as One Canada Square, Heron Tower, and St Mary Axe. London also has few residential skycrapers, such as the Strata as the tallest residential building in London, the Landmark, the Barbican Estate,a dn the Ontario Tower. (Ts3) Cleanliness is also a major point in contrasting Jakarta to London. (SD1) Dirty streets because of littering become one characteristics of Jakarta and the habits of its people. (Examples) Litters everywhere at Jakarta streets are common view one can find in this city. Even there are trashes on the highway. Conversely, streets in London are almost clean everywhere, thanks to the people there for not littering to keep the city clean and beautiful. The traces of garbage are hardly seen across the streets of this orderly city. What is more, on the highway, no single waste can be discovered. (SD2)The rivers in Jakarta are also filthy and even filled with garbage,


like can be seen in the case of River Ciliwung. The water is very dark because of dirty and many trashes floating at the water. Still, dirty rivers are not the case in London. There, River Thames, although the water is not crystal clear, the color is still show natural quality of the water. Wastes are also almost cannot be found on the surface of the river. (SD3) Moreover, the air quality of Jakarta is very bad and can cause severe respiratory condition. (Example) Jakarta’s atmosphere is full of pollution as the result of combustion of vehicle engines, the industrial plants, and the burning of trashes. By contrast, London has fresh and clean air. It is because there are many tresses and parks in London to absorb the pollutant from the air.

(CP) To sum up, those are all about the main differences between those two big cities, which significantly reflect to their respective characteristics……………...…………………………………….................................................................................……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

B. Style : Block


Thesis Statement (TS) = T + CI + PredictorsTS : Jakarta and London the two very different cities that can be viewed from many different (T) aspects : traffic condition, public facility, and cleanliness. (CI) (Predictors)

Introductory paragraph :More Introducing Sentences …

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….(TS) Jakarta and London are two very different cities that can be viewed from many aspects, namely traffic condition, public facility, and cleanliness.

(Ts1) In Jakarta, the traffic condition is one of the significant problems one can, of course, encounters there. (SD1) As a resident of Jakarta, I have experienced


congestion almost every day and everywhere in this metropolis. What makes driving in Jakarta more irritating is the fact that the traffic is crowded almost every time I go out, whether it is early in the morning or late at night. In addition, the congestions not only occur on weekdays, but also on the weekends amazingly. (Examples) Wherever I go, from west to east and from north to south, there must be at least one congested street. It is a common condition if we find in areas such as, Menteng, Cempaka Putih, Daan Mogot, Kebon Jeruk, Tomang, Kemang, Kebayoran Baru, Kelapa Gading, Mangga Dua, and Pulo Gadung. The toll roads, which are supposed to be free of traffic because we pay for the access, are also overcrowded. (SD2) Unorganized traffic also makes living in Jakarta harder. (Explanations) People cross the streets without taking appropriate without taking appropriate means, such as Zebra cross. Furthermore, they cross without waiting for the traffic lights to turn red, making it very dangerous for others to drive in Jakarta. (SD 3) Added to this tiresome traffic in Jakarta are a huge number of vehicles that run at the city’s streets. (Examples) There are too many people having vehicles in Jakarta and thus make the streets filled with cars, trucks, and motorcycles. The presence of immense thoughtless motorcycle riders also worsens the traffic condition. Moreover, Jakarta does not have adequate and efficient public transport to support the transportation of its massive population, making private vehicles the primary way to travel in this city.. (Ts2) Another difference lies in terms of public facilities. (SD 1) Although there are many museums in Jakarta, these buildings are not in the mind of the people here. One thing contributes to this condition is because museums in Jakarta are not well maintained. The collections left unorganized and the museum buildings are dirty. (Examples) Jakarta’s museums also have only a few amounts of collections. On top of that, people in Jakarta seem uninterested to come to museums because they prefer to go to shopping malls, thus there are only few people seen in the museums. (SD 2) But when it comes to shopping, Jakarta offers the best access. (Explanations) In Jakarta, people can shop everywhere because many shopping centers are dispersed across this city. North Jakarta has Mall Kelapa Gading Complex, Mall Artha Gading, Mall of Indonesia, and Emporium Pluit ; meanwhile South Jakarta has Pasaraya Manggarai, Pondok Indah Mall 1 and 2, Pacific Place, Plaza Semanggi, and Pejaten Village. West Jakarta also has a many shopping centers, suc as Mall Taman Anggrek, Central Park, and Mall Puri Indah ; and Central Karta has Grand Indonesia , Plaza Indonesia, Plaza Senayan, Senayan City, and the famous Mangga Dua shopping centers. Jakarta also has the best shopping centers because they are very big in size and have exquisite design and decoration as well. Just look at the appearance of Grand Indonesia, Mall Kelapa Gading, and Mall of Indonesia. (SD 3 ) Besides, as the center of business and metropolitan life activities, Jakarta has many business and residential buildings across its areas. (Explanations) Many office buildings can be seen in various areas, such as Wisma 46, Sudirman Place, Bakrie Tower,a nd BCA Tower. The residential buildings in Jakarta are dispersed as well. In West Jakarta there is Apartment Taman Anggrek and in North Jakarta we can find the Summit Apartment and Paladian Park. Meanwhile, South Jakarta has the Peak and Pakubuwono Residence and in Central Jakarta, there is Sudirman Park Apartment. (Ts3) Cleanliness is also a major point in contrasting Jakarta to London. (SD1 ) Dirty streets because of littering become one characteristics of Jakarta and the habits of its people. (Explanations) Litters everywhere at Jakarta streets are common view one can find in this city. Even there are trashes on the highway. (SD2) The rivers in Jakarta are


also filthy and even filled with garbage, like can be seen in the case of River Ciliwung. (Explanation) The water is very dark because of dirty and many trashes floating at the water. (SD3) Moreover, the air quality of Jakarta is very bad and can cause severe respiratory condition. (Explanation) Jakarta’s atmosphere is full of pollution as the result of combustion of vehicle engines, the industrial plants, and the burning of trashes.

On the contrary, unfortunately, no traffic congestion we happen to experience there in London. When I explored London by a taxi, I faced traffic jam only on weekdays in business or tourist areas. The traffic occurs only in hectic areas, such as business areas in City of London and Canary Wharf because they are the heart of London’s Economic life. Shopping streets, like Oxford Street, Bond Street, and Regan Street, are also crowded because they are filled with many shoppers who go from one store to another. Thus, congestion in London obviously happens only during workdays and just in after-work hours, not the whole day. Then, as far as I had been living in London, the traffic seems so well run that it is unlike in Jakarta. The people are already aware of the need to cross via provided means. They also wait for the red lights for the cars before crossing the streets because they value their life, as opposed to people in Jakarta. In London, owing to the high fuel price and high taxes imposed on private vehicles, the number of vehicles in this city is not too tremendous. Since the people do not intend to buy one, not many cars seen in the streets of London. As a result, driving in London is also more comfortable because there are no crazy motorcycle drivers. In addition, people in London prefer London’s main public transport, the famous London underground, because the system sufficiently transport them to place they want to go. Unlike here in London, public facilities, such as The British Museum and Museum of London constitute their main concern for art and culture appreciations. Because London government is aware of these museums’ tourism potential, the museums are kept well maintained, clean, and attractive. They have a wide range of stunning collections, including the most favourite collections that one perhaps rarely finds them in any other museums in the world. Therefore, museums become one of the main recreational destinations for tourists as well as London residents alike. Afterwards, not like in Jakarta where you can come across so many shopping malls, it is in fact, nevertheless, that there are some only you can find them out here, The shopping centers are mostly located in Oxord Street, Bond Street, and Regent Street. On these streets, retailers are agglomerated across the streets. Those shopping centers are also not like the huge malls we find in Jakarta. London’s two upscale shopping centers, Harrod’s and Fortnum and Mason, are not very big compared to those grand malls in Jakarta. Yet, in London, because there is a restriction to not blocking the protected views of St.Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower of London, and the Westminster Palace, only few buildings built there. The office buildings are located only in the city’s business center areas in City of London and Canary Wharf, such as One Canada Square, Heron Tower, and St Mary Axe. London also has few residential skycrapers, such as the Strata as the tallest residential building in London, the Landmark, the Barbican Estate, and the Ontario Tower. Finally yet importantly, cleanliness is also another major point in contrasting London to Jakarta. Streets in London are almost clean everywhere, thanks to the people there for not littering to keep the city clean and beautiful. The traces of garbage are hardly seen across the streets of this orderly city. What is more, on the highway, no single waste can be discovered. Still, dirty rivers are not the case in London. There, River Thames, although


the water is not crystal clear, the color is still show natural quality of the water. Wastes are also almost cannot be found on the surface of the river. In contrast, London has fresh and clean air. It is because there are many tresses and parks in London to absorb the pollutant from the air.

(CP) To sum up, those are all about the main differences between those two big cities, which significantly reflect to their respective characteristics……………...…………………………………….................................................................................……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

II. Pattern : Cause or Effect

(T) (CI) TS : Jakarta's severe traffic congestion is the result of several conflicting problems : overpopulation, archaic and poor infrastructure, and flawed traffic rules and regulations as well. (predictors)

Introductory paragraph :More Introducing Sentences …

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….


(TS) Really, Jakarta’s severe traffic congestion is the result of several conflicting problems: overpopulation, archaic and poor infrastructure, and the flawed traffic rules and regulations as well.

(Ts1) Overpopulation is one of the biggest contributors to the traffic congestion problem in Jakarta. (Explanation) Being a developing country, Indonesia has centered most of governmental and commercial activities in Jakarta, while the idea of centralization was plausible then; it seems that the city can no longer accommodates the growing people population, which constitutes the main effect of the continuous flow of urbanization. Besides, there is a trend of increasing birth rate of children every year. With the growing economy, of course, the demand for mobility is consequently increasing, hence the growing number of vehicles, especially, motorcycles and automobiles. In fact, it has been getting easier and easier for people to own a vehicle, various financing options become widely available, allowing consumer to easily bring home a motorcycle with little or no down payment at all. However, the increasing number of vehicles ownership in Jakarta seems to be disproportioned to the capacity that the infrastructures can handle.

(Ts2) This leads to the second problem that caused severe traffic congestion in Jakarta, which is the archaic and poor infrastructure. This poor infrastructure is mainly caused by flawed urban planning. New infrastructure, such as flyovers, bridges and roads are built on top of one another, added as an extension rather than as a complete reconstruction due to the land scarcity. The lack of space is mainly caused by unorganized spatial planning that allows massive amount of properties to be built on scarce land, leaving little or no space for reconstructions of road or infrastructures. Additioinally, single–lane flyover becomes a traffic nightmare whenever there is a truck that broke down in the middle of its steep slope, blocking a chain of vehicles behind it. Furthermore, the condition of existing roads does not seem to fulfill the capacity required by the crowd. There are too many narrow single-lane and two-way roads, making the flow of traffic.

(Ts3)Besides overpopulation and inadequate infrastructures, the traffic congestion problem is also caused by the flawed traffic rules and regulations itself. One of the most crucial flawed regulations is by allowing 18-wheeler cargo trucks to travel during the daylight, aggravating the already-congested traffic. The presence of cargo and pick-up trucks are inevitable in every major cities in the world, they play important roles in distributing goods and services; however, without specific regulations, these huge vehicles are congesting the traffic at a faster rate than any other type of vehicles. The big trucks move at considerably slower speed, blocking multiple and road users and thus, creating bottleneck situations at road joints. This problem becomes more apparent and fatal during peak hours as smaller vehicles, along with motorcycles are competing for access. Next, thinking about a solution offered to the public transportation system, the imperfect bus way system, also creates major problem as the system requires the use of an exclusive lane for its operation, taking up a single lane out of a double or triple-lane road, forcing the remaining vehicles to congest the remaining two-third of the road. Yet, the most appealing aspect of the system is the fact that most of the lanes reserved for the service. These kinds of inefficiency, along with the growing number of vehicles are worsening the traffic condition in Jakarta at an alarming rate. And finally, the lack of law enforcement allows public transportations to form virtual bus stop at major intersections,


causing major disturbance to the congested traffic. Buses and mini-buses are loading passengers on and off their buses at their conveniences, disregarding the fact that the stopping point is not a bus stop at all.

(CP) To conclude, all of those multiple chains of conflicting problems result in Jakarta’s daily problem of heavy traffic congestion……………………………….

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SESSION 9, Essay Writing