Shut Your Eyes, Maglakbay sa panaginip

7/29/2019 Shut Your Eyes, Maglakbay sa panaginip.

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Shut your eyes..Maglakbay sa panaginip


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Illustration by Joao Tumao


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illustration by Ewak Hernandez


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BIPOLARby Gem Muzones

Lost in the corners of 8th avenue

Turn left to see the sunshine bloom

Turn right to face the night light gloom

Long gone the days of serenity

The giant of the cold hill awaits me

And here I am, drowning in uncertainty

The ghost pulls me back and forth

I find myself falling into the forgotten land

As I hold on to the tail of a vanishing reality

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illustration by Isha Roman


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illustration by Joao Tumao


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Death Drive


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Deathrow ofHearts

Jed Belen

he bleeds endlesslyhe made up his mind and says

i will love you from afarhe meant it more that words could say

he cant hurt her

he cant touch her

she does not deserve him

he was hell

he gave her 3 shots in the head

stabbed her gentle heart

marinated in his own bloodhe weeps silently and says

i will love you from afar

he meant it more than words can

say

he cant win her

he cant kill her

say goodbye

dig him a shallow grave

pray for him tonight

he spends the rest of his life

clouded by remorse

hiding in these shadows

where darkness is a comfortwhere pain can feast on his immortal

heart

that is what he deserves



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illustration by Ewak Hernandez11


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KillerattheDriveInJed Belen

He trembles

he falls under her mercy

Shes just who she is

nothing more beyond that hollow exterior

she kills him

again and again

hes too dazed to even feel

its his time to kill

a shot fired

she starts to feel cold

colder than these eyes

eyes that speak of it all

eyes that see the silence

of a nuclear bomb about to kick in fast

she falls

she falls

at least he hopes so

for now.


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ni Direk Bianx

Ilang oras ng naghihintay,

sa munting bangkong inuupuaan.Madami ng nasaksihan,

sa pagpasok ng mga tao.

May tumatakbo,nagtatawanan,

at ang ilan ay mag-isang naglalakad.

Pumapasokt labas, umuupot tumatayo,

ngunit akoy nandito parin habang naghihintay sa iyo.

Pinagmamasdan ko ang mga kotse,

mula sa aking kinalalagyan.Inaasahan kong ikaw na ang masisilayan.

Ilang oras pa ako maghihintay?

ako bay mabibigo sa aking paghihintay?

Kaya ito nalang ang pakatatandaan mo,

Darating ang panahon na magkikita muli tayo.

- The End -



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TheManipulativeMidgetThe midget in my chest keeps jumping and teasingWith all his might he tries to break it open for the lightning

Dont pull back, he shouts in complete disarray

You might regret it come one morning, I say

To fall asleep in the tender breath of the moonlight

Dropping endlessly to the pit of your heavens light

Should i dare to fall or grab on to oh dear life?

Oh God! Help me, my mouth has failed to bite

This world I once cursed before i existed

Now Im back, all ready to explore and be haunted

Lets just hope this time around I wont fail to find my place

The midget has made me his new puppet in a maze

-Gem Muzones


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Againby Sarita de Guzman

Another ordinary day has passed, laborious tasks given, arduous lessons

to be learned and amidst the hustle and bustle of the crowd, I sat there as hourshad gone, my back crouched, aching against the cold metal chair. My cropped

hair sticking at the back of my neck as beads of sweat trickled from my forehead

down to the rest of my exhausted body. Eyes and head hurting, as books started

to pile up my table. My palms sweating, hurriedly writing notes in an attempt to

meet deadlines. Papers, pens and notebooks scattered everywhere, reminding me

to at least fix my things before going home to unwind. But then again, maybe I

dont even have the time to unwind after all.

At last, for what seemed like an eternity, I put my pen down and carefully

scanned my work. Satisfied and proud enough, I stretched my tired and sweat-

ng body, jokingly praying for a miracle to help me with my ordeals. And at that

fleeting moment, as if God has answered my prayer. I saw it. I saw everything.

My miracle. My answer. I saw you.

You were there again, on your usual spot. Your obsidian eyes gazing up

at the crimson sunset, your short hair softly caressed by the wind, blowing your

fresh, cool scent towards me. Your gorgeous physique leaning at the wall non-

chalantly.

I sat there transfixed, amazed, by how you could make me feel happiness,

anger, desperation, passion, devotion, insecurity, loneliness and even that tin-

gling sensation at the pit of my stomach all at one single moment, by just looking

at you. Yet you stood there, coolly, unaffected, unaware. Unaware of an existence

of a silly little girl, dreaming. Dreaming, on what it feels like on you looking at

me, acknowledging me, or your soft touch against my calloused hands, or even

f impossible, you loving me back.

And then, as if by instinct, you sensed my eyes on you, you lowered your

gaze and looked straight at me and smiled, your perfectly charming smile. My

heart melted at that precise moment, fighting the urge to blush as you effortlessly

started walking towards my direction. But no, it must be at the girl at my back,

thinking, as I lowered my head to hide the pain in my eyes. I started to pack my

things, but stopped short as a shadow blocked my desk. Startled, I looked up,shocked, as I saw you there standing in front of me, still smiling. I opened my


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mouth to speak, but nothing came out, it seems that I was in a loss for words, for

I could still hear my heart pounding in my ears. I felt my cheeks heat up, I knew

I looked stupid. I tensed, thinking of the words, trying to break the awkward si-

lence enveloping us, but you beat me to it.

Hi, Ive been meaning to talk to you. You said, your beautiful voice lingeringn my ears. While I sat there flabbergasted, recalling every word you uttered

to make sure that I heard it correctly. R-really? But how? I mean I-I n-never

thought you knew me. I stammered surprised by the bluntness of my words.

Well I never really knew you, but I just cant stop noticing you, Youre cute.

Blushing madly, I muttered Um t-thank you. I smiled. Especially when you

smile.

So do you mind telling me your name? you interrupted before my face could

go on a darker shade. Oh, um s-sure Im

Excuse me miss are you alright? Huh? I asked, half dazed, half shocked.

You dropped your book you said indifferently. Oh, thanks I said, as you

made your way towards your friends, not even bothering to listen to what I said. I

picked up the book that was sprawled open on the floor. Hmm I sighed, smiling

sadly. Must be my imagination, again.


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Nighttime madnessGem Muzones

I was walkingDown the deserted path

With the three dimensional sphere

Shining so bright

Dazzling my blinded sight

Tiny dots glitter in the dark

Like the dewVisible in my face

Twinkling the sorrow I felt

With forever gone

My solitary existence shone

Brightly until it faded slowly


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Ako si Lex,

May best riend ako. Katulad ko siya, tamad, gala, chaka, Hindi pala-kausap sa iba.

Ewn a ung a it naging ai igan o siya. Mataga na rin aming nagsasama,

19-taon na rin. Sa 19 na taon na yon, hindi lilipas ang araw na di kmi nagkikita.

Pano kasi, pareho kaming tinataboy sa pamilya. May magagawa pa nga ba kami

un i magsama. Ma a ang ami mag-away ni Ju e. Hin i asi a o nag co-com-

ment sa tuwing nag-iinarte siya sakin eh. Tahimik lang, taimtim akong nakiki-

nig. Pero a o agi ang inaasa an non, a o na ung may gusto siyang c i s na

porma an. Tinutu ungan o mag-ayos yun. Ma i ig o nga yun iruin. Gwapotayo pare,tayo hahabulin. Eto ako. May ka-hambugang taglay! Naalala ko tuloy

nang sa ay aming ma-in a ...

Cin y. Ang a aeng ma a yosa sa agan a an. Tag ay niya ang aurang, in i

araniwan. Classmate namin siya ni Jude sa English non. Tinuturuan nga niya

ami dahil bopol kami sa lingwaheng ingles. Dun nahulog ang luob ko kay Cin-

y. Saga asi sa uto ang a aitan. Eto si Ju e, a a! May tayp in pa a sa ase.

Pangalan ay Sin. Sabay naming niligawan sina Cindy at Sin. Sabay din naman

aming sinagot. Ngunit umipas na ang a awang taon ng pagsasama namin,

nag-ara sa La Sa e sina Cin y at Sin nang tumungtong sa o e iyo. Pawangmag-bespren din tulad namin ni Jude ang turingan nong dalawang yon. Sabay

silang nakahanap ng lalaking ipapalit sa ka-pogian namin ni Jude. Labis kaming

nag am am. La o si Ju e. Hin i ma amove-on. Tinamaan e . Hin i ma a ing

tanggapin sa sarili ko na nagkaroon na ng iba si Cindy, pero nakaya ko.. Pero si

Jude.. Halos ikamatay ang pagkawala ni Sin. Minsan nalang kami magkita da-

i ayaw niya, gustong mapag-isa ang rama niya. Sina yan o. Pero nagu at

ako nang di na pumapasok si Jude. Hinahanap ko siya. Nawawala.. Nagulat ako

sa a itang nag- igti si Ju e.. Sa ma i im niyang warto,sa oo ng anyo, sa

tapat ng sa amin,ti a in i Ma ita ang rep e syong ni Ju e sa sa amin sapag atinalot ng dilim. nagiwan si Jude ng notang:

Sa pagtahak ko ng sirang daan patungo kay Sin,nahanap ko ang dilim. Ikaw

ai igang A ex ay nan ito, pero sa i im, in i a o na ita.. in i napigi an.. Sa

pagbukas ng liwang Lex, makikita moko. Patiwarik na nagsusumamo.. Paalam

Lex, a ing mata i na ai igan. Ngayon a oy umisan na, ma u ura a na rin..

Nagmamahal..

Ju e Alexis M. Rama

orn:Aug.26, 1889Died: Nov. 6. 2008

n ernan ez


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212DJ Faner

Take away all these inhibitions

Roll up your sleeves and rest your head

Scream in ecstasy as your tongue

Play with these knives of desire

I fell to my knees with sheer pleasure

As you run your fingertips on my forehead

Your skin is poisonous yet I cant stop caressing it

I tasted blood when I kissed your lips

Heaven fell on the ground when you met my gaze

Voices start to wander in the cornerAs you whispered the word of death


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RestlessGem Muzones

I search for your face amidst the crowd

Caught in a distant memory of yesterday

I hold on to the picture of your smile

In the corners of my lost mind

I try to reach for your cold hands in the darkness

Lets escape to our own world of eternal serenity

Blinded by the light, I lost you

Dont let go, hold tight, youre safe

The silence of the night deafens the music of your voice

Oh how I want to see you face to face!

We will float on to the depths of the dim frozen waters

Make me a time machine, back to yesterday

Bring me to the moment, the moment that was ours

No words need to be spoken, oh how our silence created bliss

Im addicted, Im addicted to the drug that is you

The sensation of your coldness

Brings me warmth, Im burning

Your sweet scent of nothing, keeps me alive

Youre so unkind, theres no one to blame but you

Oh how I cant wait to see you once again

Lets keep this our little secret

For they are foolish people

Come to me and I shall love you dear


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Nakangiti sya

Hindi ako kumakain ng gulay. Vegetarian ako.

Dinura ni Mellow ang isang subong kumpitis sa plato.

Bakit kasi hindi mo sinabi agad na gulay pala ito!

ugtong nya.

Eh, hindi ko rin naman inaasahan na darating ka. Kasal mo ngayon diba?

Sagot ni Jihan na kanina pa nagtataka kung saan nanggagaling ang matamis naamoy na bumalot sa kanyang hardin.

Dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas mula nang padalhan ni Mellow ng isang men-

sahe tangay ng hangin si Jihan. sambit dito ang mga katagang: Oi punta ka sa

Myerkules dalawang linggo mula ngayon. May kasalan.

Tinandaan ni Jihan ang mensahe.

Paano mo nalamang kasal ko ngayon?Dinukot ni Mellow ang isang plastik ng Doris sa kanyang backpack. Paborito

nya ito mula pa nuong mga bata sila.

Myerkules. sabi ng hangin Myerkules.

Hindi Tumatayo si Jihan sa bangkong kanyang kinauupuan subalit patuloy ang

kanyang ilong sa paghahanap kung saan nanggagaling ang matamis na amoy.

Tsong Martes lang ngayon.

Sabi ni Mellow.

Naka wedding gown ka kaya.

Pumaling sya sa kanan

Matagal na katahimikan. Tumayo si Jihan at binuksan ang pintuang screen upang

pumasok sa loob ng bahay nya. Lumagabog ito pag sara. Kumalog ang isang pic-

ture frame na nakasabit sa ibabaw ng pintuan. Napansin ito ni Mellow.

Oy, Naitago mo pa pala to?Alin? Pasigaw na sagot ni Jihan habang Nagsasalin ng salabat sa tatlong

baso.


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Yung picture nating dalawa nung highschool graduation.

Ah, oo. Bakit, yung kopya mo nasan na?

Hindi sumagot si Mellow.

Tinulak ni Jihan ng balikat ang pinto para lumabas. Bitbit nya ang isang tray na

may nakapatong na tatlong baso ng umuusok na salabat.Di ka na sumagot. Sabi ko nasan na yung kopya mo.

Umupo si Mellow sa sahig. Sa paanan ng isang puno ng kaimito. Wala paring

kibo.

Hindi mo na alam kung nasaan noh?

Nilapag ni Jihan ang tray sa sahig sa harap ni Mellow. Sabay umupo rin sya sa

harap nito.

Umungol sya

Bakit tatlo yang baso? Eh dalawa lang tayo dito?

Malayo ang tanaw ni Mellow.

Kay Jared yan. Hindi ba sya dadaan dito? Hindi ka ba nya susunduin?

Buntong hininga.

Ayoko nito Jihan. Ayoko sana nito.

Buntong hinga ulit.

Walong taon na nang unang ipakilala ni Mellow si Jared kay Jihan. Mabigat.

Pero kailangan. Hindi na umuubra ang mga bagay sa pagitan ni Mellow at Jihan.

Dumating pa si Jared. Lalong nagkaron ng maraming komplikasyon.

Sa kabila ng lahat, Buo parin ang puso ni Jihan. Para kay Mellow.

Kay Mellow lang.

Tinawag nya ang isang pangalan

Hindi mo naman sinagot yung tanong ko Mellow eh.

Teka, ano bato?

Salabat

Ay, Vegetarian ako eh.

Galing sa luya yan. Gulay.Hindi ako kumakain ng gulay. Vegetarian ako. Simula pa nung.. nung huli tay-

ong magkita


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Simula pa nung isang taon?

Pagtataka ni Jihan.

Ganon na ba katagal? parang kailan lang.

Sagot ni Mellow.

Patindi ng patindi ang matamis na amoy.

Tsong hindi dadating si Jared. Hindi nya ko susunduin.

Tumayo si Mellow. Nag-unat.

Nanatiling nakaupo si Jihan.

Ang ganda ng gown mo. Anong material yan?

Retaso dude. saka ano.. Dyaryo. Nilagayan ata ni Waggy to ng.. ah oo nga.

nilagyan nya to sa laylayan ng pink na ribbon.. kaso, nawawala ata. sumabit

siguro sa jeep kanina.Nakatitig si Jihan kay Mellow. Walang kurap. Namamangha. Kung papaanong

ang isang bagong kasal na babae ay nakukuhang maggala at umasal ng ganito..

Pero. gusto nya ito. Gusto nyang nandito si Mellow. Wala syang ibang gusto

kundi ang makasama ito.

Nakatingala sya. Walang kibo. Pinagmamasdan ang walang kupas na kaganda-

han.

Kasal na ako Jihan. Sa isang hindi ko inaasahan. Sa isang akala koy hindi

ako ipaglalaban.. Wala si Jared. Hindi sumipot.. At saka, wala namang barong

yon..

Nadurog ang puso ni Jihan.

Kinasal ako sa ibang lalaki. Vegetarian din sya kaya ko sya pinakasalan.

May pumatak na luha

Humigop si Jihan ng salabat. Upang magkunwaring dahil sa init at paso ang pa-

gluluha. Tahimik. Kapwa nakatingin sila sa malayo.

Mellow.. Hindi mo man lang ba ako naisip?

Kailan?

Bago ka magpakasal dun sa kung sino man.. Saka pagkatapos nyong maghiwa-

lay ni Jared.

Hindi parin sila tumitingin sa isat isa.Aah.. Hindi ko nga alam kung nasan na si Jared. Basta Sabi nya, pupunta lang

daw sya sa CR. Tapos nawala na..


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Umupo ulit si Mellow sa Tabi ni Jihan. Pero hindi parin sila nagtitinginan.

Hinanap mo ba sya?

Si Jared? Hindi.. Kahit naman nung una hindi ko sya hinanap. Kusang dinala

ng hangin sakin.. Kahit minsan, ayoko nang saluhin, Wala akong magawa kundi

sumabay sa ihip..

Humigop ulit si Jihan ng salabat.

Tumayo si Jihan. Lumapit sa pintuan upang abutin ang picture frame. Tinitigan

nya ito upang alalahanin ang mga magagandang pangyayaring dumaan sa kanila

ni Mellow. Subalit habang tinititigan nya ito at binabagtas ng mga mata nya ang

larawan ay tila napupuno ito ng makapal na usok. Puti. Unti-unting lumalabo ang

maheng matagal nang nakalimbag sa papel...

Sinubukang tanggalin ni Jihan ang usok. Hinipan nya. Pinunasan.. Walang epe-

kto.. Di nagtagal ay nabura na ang larawan.. Hindi nya maintindihan ang nang-yayari.

Lumingon sya kay Mellow...

Nakatingin ito ng deretso sa kanya.

Nakangiti.

Nakangiti habang dahan-dahang lumalabo ang kanyang mukha...

Mellow, wag ka nang umalis ulit..

Nakangiti parin ito.. umiiyak si Jihan.. Nabubura ang mukha ni Mellow.. Dahan-

dahan..

Hindi naman kita iniwan Jihan.. Aalis lang ako sandali.. sandali lang..

Nakangiti..

Wag na Mellow.. nakikiusap ako.. wag na..

Matapang na matapang na ang matamis na amoy..

Tumihaya sya

Wala na ang mga mata ni Mellow, pati ang ilong at tainga.. Blanko. Puti.

Dinampot nya ang isang baso ng salabat. at sa mga labi nyang mapuputi ay

walang pakundangan nya itong ininom at inubos.

Vegetarian ka kamo ah? Gulay yan.. Bakit mo ininom?

Nagulat si Jihan.


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Mahirap para sakin itong ginawa ko. Nadaganan ako ng sangkatutak na pag-

babago mula nung hindi tayo magkita. Ipinalit ko sakin ang hindi naman dapat.

Para lang maging bagay sa lahat. Hindi kita ini...

May kalog na naramdaman si Jihan..

..Wan Jihan.. Nandito lang ako sa tabi mo. Pero hindi mo ako nakikita. Dahil..

dahil hindi ako nagpapakita..

Kumalog ulit.

Gamit ang kanang kamay ay dinampot ulit ni Mellow ang basong dapat sana ay

kay Jared..

Wala si Jared. Inumin ko na to ha.

Inubos ulit ni Mellow ang salabat.

Shet. Carnivorous na ko. ughh.

Walang humpay ang pagiyak ni Jihan. Hindi alam ang gagawin kung iiwan ulit

sya ni Mellow..

O pano.. Una na muna ako sayo ha.. hanggang sa susunod nalang..

Tuluyan nang nawala ang mukha ni Mellow subalit umamalingawngaw ang tinignya.

Nangingibabaw parin ang matamis na amoy.

Masaya ako nakita kita Mellow. Sa susunod ulit.. Ingat ka ha.

Tumalikod na si Jihan at pumasok sa bahay.. Subalit sumusunod parin sa kanya

ang matamis na amoy. Nakikita nya si Mellow sa gilid ng kanyang mata, at na-

kita nyang tumalikod narin ito upang sumakay ng jeep.

Wala na si Mellow. Walang nakakaalam kung saan sya makikita. Kung kailan

ulit sya

dadating. Sa isa pang pagkakataon, nabiyak ang puso ni Jihan.

Nagising sya

Napabalikwas si Jihan sa higaan. Pawis na pawis. Halatang mabilis ang tibok ng

kanyang puso. Deretso ang tingin.. Hindi Kumukurap. Hindi makapaniwalang


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Anim na taon na mula nang makita nyang naka wedding gown si Mellow at

nakaharap sa Altar. Habang sugatan ang puso nyang nakatanaw sa likod ng sim-

bahan.. Nagbuntong hininga sya. Napayuko. Naamoy nya ang matamis na hal-

amuyak na nasa ere ng silid. Tumingala sa kisame. Tumingin sa orasan.. Alas-

dos ng madaling araw. Maaga pa. Humiga ulit. Nakatitig sa kisame. Habang

lumilipad ang isip sa kawalan ay dinalaw ulit sya ng magkakahalong ala-ala.mga ala-alang nagpabago sa buhay nya. Pumaling sya sa kaliwa.

Tinitigan ang babaeng natutulog sa tabi nya. Inamoy ang matamis na halimuyak

ng kanyang kabiyak. Napangiti. at nagtaka. Nagtataka ngunit natutuwa. Kung

papanong ipinagpalit ni Mellow ang lahat.. Ang lahat lahat.. Maging ang sariling

kasal, para lang makasama sya.

wakas


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Beatrice Puertollanos

ObliviousDaughter of the golden moon

Lover of the silver sun

born unto the summer sky

sister of the fiery stars

the planets lined up

they had to see

as she gracefully arrives

heaven has fallen

yet she remains unaware


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Mnemosyneby Sarita de Guzman

The days of the month had ended. The scorching heat now replaced by the

pitter patter of raindrops. Yet, it is still mundane as I continue to get lost in a

memory that traps me in a melancholic reverie. Vivid just like it was yesterday.

Its been hours, yet not one beep had been heard from my phone. I

waited patiently, not a single complaint uttered. The crowd busy in their affairs,

lowly dissipating as tasks gets done. It was four oclock when things started

o get in shape. Not one detail was of anything that I planned it to be, but it was

one of those few events that would have me smiling at the end of the day. We

at there, unhurriedly taking a sip of our coffee, oblivious to the irritating blab-

bers of the old ladies a table away from us. Tummies ached as we shared doses

of laughter. Palm against palm, the corners of my lips slowly twitching into a

mile as our simple chit chat becomes more momentous. All adversities lay in

he back of our minds for the time being. The nearby signs have already been

lit up, emblazoned in striking letters and the dried coffee stains on the crum-

pled tissue, both telling that time had finally caught with us. We were already

tifling our yawns, yet I was still reluctant to take a cab, hiding my urgent need

o get home. Unspoken questions hung in my head, afraid of ruining the mo-

ment, for this is the first and may also be the last.

I open my eyes as I slowly drift to reality, still pondering if all that

would ever happen again. It was not much nor was it even the greatest thought

o ever grace me. Yet, it was enough to brighten up my mood on a stormy day.

A time when I had heaven in my hands. With everything that has happened, Iknow that moment will never come my way again and will only remain as a

memory. But forever, it will be etched within and no one will ever be able to

ake it away from me.


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Photo by Isha Roman


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Silent reverieJumping to the endless pit of doom

Darkness starts to loomShadows in my room

Shine and sparkle in the gloomAs they dance and sway like ballerinas

With the wind laughing like hyenas

How dare you awaken me from my blessed oblivion?

Hush, hush says thesilent dream,Open your eyes to the enchanted,

the kaleidoscope world of butterflies.

-Zipporah Antonio


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Rebirth of the unbornBeatrice Puertollano

let darkness fall..let fear take over..

she is yet to come..

she listens to each lament and keeps it in her

heart,fragile but strong..

trying not to fall apart.

she is neither the queen of the martyrs nor thesavior of the damned,

she only wants to shed some light.

one could only wish,

for she will deliberately hear..

but she is not the one to fulfill.


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illustration by Richard Delo Santos


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illustration by TeeJay Villahermosa


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illustration from Deviantart.com


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illustration from Deviantart.com


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Shut Your Eyes, Maglakbay sa panaginip