[Stanislaski 01] - Taming Natasha

8/14/2019 [Stanislaski 01] - Taming Natasha

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Contents

Taming Natasha

Prologue

Chapter OneChapter TwoChapter ThreeChapter Four Chapter FiveChapter SixChapter SevenChapter EightChapter NineChapter TenChapter Eleven

Chapter TwelveEpilogue

Taming Natasha

Prologue

Contents - Next

Eyes snapping with a combination of temper an triumph! Natasha marche into her be room"So! #i$hail an %lexi thought it woul be funny to ress the og in her new bra an best ances$irt" %n they ha iscovere ! she reflecte ! &ust what happene to irritating younger brotherswhen they put their grubby han s on what i n't belong to them"

She imagine #i$ woul be limping for the rest of the ay"

(est of all! #ama ha or ere them to wash the bra an s$irt)with their own han s" %n hangthem out to ry" *here! she thought with growing pleasure! several of the neighbor boys woul

be sure to see them at their tas$"

They' be humiliate "

#ama! she thought! always ealt out perfect &ustice" +t was even better than the $ic$ in the shinsshe herself ha ealt out to her brother"

Natasha turne towar the long mirror on her wall an to calm herself! lowere into a pli," erfourteen-year-ol bo y was as slim as her brothers'! with &ust a hint of curves at breast an hip"
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(allet lessons ha taught those limbs! those &oints! those bones! to ben ! twist! a &ust to eman s!ha schoole her min towar iscipline" %n given her heart the greatest of &oys" She $new thelessons were expensive! an how har her parents wor$e to see that she)an her siblings)hawhat they wante most"

(ecause she $new! she practice religiously! wor$e har er than anyone else in her class"

One ay she woul be a great ballerina! an every time she ance ! she woul than$ them for thegift"

+magining herself in a spar$ling tutu! hearing the music swell! she close gol en-brown eyes!lifte a elicate chin" er hair! a long curling fall of blac$! swung gently as she rose on her toesan turne in a slow pirouette"

*hen she opene them! she saw her sister in the oorway"

.They're nearly finishe washing it!. /achel announce " %s usual when she loo$e at Natashashe was struc$ with a mix of pri e an envy" Pri e that her sister was so beautiful! loo$e solovely when she ance " Envy that at eight she felt she woul never be fourteen! never be so

pretty! so graceful"

Natasha's ribbons never fell out of her hair! leaving it a tangle mess" %n she was getting breasts" They were small! but they were there"

For /achel! every ambition! nee an esire centere aroun being fourteen"

Natasha merely smile ! turne another pirouette" .%re they whining0.

.% little". /achel's lips twitche " .*hen #ama's too far away to hear" %n #i$ says you bro$ehis leg".

.1oo " e eserves a bro$en leg for ta$ing my things".

.+t was a little funny". /achel came in to bounce on the be " .Sasha loo$e so silly in your prettywhite bra an pin$ s$irt".

.% little funny!. Natasha a mitte " She wal$e to her resser to pic$ up her brush" .#aybe veryfunny when they put on Swan 2a$e an preten e to ance with him". *ith temper over! she

grinne an ran the brush i ly through her hair" .*ell! they're only boys"./achel wrin$le her nose" (oys were currently very low on her list" .(oys are stupi " They yelltoo lou an smell too much" (eing a girl's better". Though she wore fa e &eans! a ragge T-shirt an a 3an$ees' cap over her isor ere blac$ hair! she believe it absolutely"

er eyes! the same color as her sister's! ance " .*e can get them bac$".


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She tol herself she was above such things! but Natasha stu ie /achel with growing interest"/achel might have been the baby of the family! but she was evious" . ow0.

.#i$'s baseball &ersey". *hich /achel privately covete " .+ thin$ Sasha woul loo$ veryhan some in it" *hen they go out to hang the wash! we can get it".

.Nobo y $nows where he hi es it when he's not wearing it".

.+ $now". /achel's smile sprea over her pretty face" .+ $now everything" +'ll tell you! an +'llhelp you pay him bac$! if4.

Natasha lifte a brow" 5evious! an clever" /achel always ha an angle" .+f0.

.+f + can wear your gol earrings! the little hoops with the stars carve on them".

.The last time + let you wear a pair of my earrings! you lost one".

.+ i n't lose it" + &ust can't fin it yet". Part of her wante to pout! but that woul have to waituntil the eal was set" .+'ll get the &ersey! help you ress Sasha! an $eep #ama busy" 3ou let mewear the earrings for three ays".

.One ay".

.Two".

Natasha let out a sigh" .%ll right then".

*ith a cagey smile! /achel hel out her han " .Earrings first".

Sha$ing her hea ! Natasha opene her little &ewelry box an too$ out the hoops" . ow can you be such a whee ler when you're only eight0.

.*hen you're the youngest! you have to whee le". She hoppe up! happily putting on theearrings in the mirror" .Everybo y else gets everything first" +f + were the ol est! these woul bemy earrings".

.*ell! you're not an they're mine" 5on't lose them".

/achel rolle her eyes! then stu ie the results" She was positive the earrings ma e her loo$ol er" #aybe as much as ten"

.+f you're going to wear them! let's fix your hair". Natasha pluc$e off the ball cap an began torun the brush through /achel's long! loose curls" .*e'll tie it bac$ so the earrings will show".

.+ can't fin my clip".


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.3ou can use one of mine".

.*hen you were eight! i you loo$ li$e me0.

.+ on't $now". Consi ering! Natasha bent so their faces were si e-by-si e in the mirror" .*e

have the same eyes almost! an our mouths! too" 3ou have a nicer nose".

.+ o0. The i ea that she ha anything nicer or prettier or better than her big sister was atowering thrill" ./eally0.

.3es! + thin$". (ecause she un erstoo ! Natasha rubbe her chee$ against /achel's" .One ay!when we're grown up! people will loo$ when we wal$ own the street" 'There's the Stanislas$isisters!' they'll say" '%ren't they a stri$ing pair0'.

The image ha /achel giggling an prancing aroun the room they share " .Then they'll see#i$hail an %lexi! an say6 'Oh-oh! here come the Stanislas$i brothers an that means trouble"'.

.They' be right". Natasha hear the bac$ oor slam! glance out the win ow" .%n there theyare7 Oh! loo$! /achel" +t's perfect".

The two boys! hea s lowere in mortification! ragge their feet on the way to the clotheslinewhile the og race in circles aroun them"

.They loo$ so embarrasse !. Natasha sai with satisfaction" .2oo$ how re their faces are".

.+t's not enough" 2et's get the &ersey7. Earrings angling! /achel grabbe her cap an race outof the room"

(oys woul never efeat the Stanislas$i sisters! Natasha thought! an rushe after her"

For 1ayle 2in$ *elcome to the fol

Chapter One

Contents - Prev 8 Next

.*hy is it that all the really great-loo$ing men are marrie 0.

.+s that a tric$ 9uestion0. Natasha arrange a velvet-gowne oll in a chil -si:e bentwooroc$er before she turne to her assistant" .O$ay! %nnie! what great-loo$ing man are we tal$ingabout in particular0.

.The tall! blon an gorgeous one who's stan ing outsi e the shop win ow with his nifty-loo$ingwife an beautiful little girl". %nnie tuc$e a wa of gum into her chee$ an heave a gusty sigh".They loo$ li$e an a for Perfect Family 5igest".
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.Then perhaps they'll come in an buy the perfect toy".

Natasha steppe bac$ from her grouping of ;ictorian olls an accessories with a no ofapproval" +t loo$e exactly as she wante )appealing! elegant an ol -fashione " She chec$eeverything own to the tassele fan in a tiny! china han "

The toy store wasn't &ust her business! it was her greatest pleasure" Everything from the smallestrattle to the biggest stuffe bear was chosen by her with the same eye for etail an 9uality" Sheinsiste on the best for her shop an her customers! whether it was a five-hun re - ollar ollwith its own fur wrap or a two- ollar! palm-si:e race car" *hen the match was right! she was

please to ring up either sale"

+n the three years since she ha opene her &ingling front oor! Natasha ha ma e The Funouse one of the most thriving concerns in the small college town on the *est ;irginia bor er"

+t ha ta$en rive an persistence! but her success was more a irect result of her innateun erstan ing of chil ren" She i n't want her clients to wal$ out with a toy" She wante them to

wal$ out with the right toy"

5eci ing to ma$e a few a &ustments! Natasha move over to a isplay of miniature cars"

.+ thin$ they're going to come in!. %nnie was saying as she smoothe own her short crop ofauburn hair" .The little girl's practically bouncing out of her #ary


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.+t's a woman's privilege)no! her obligation)to weave fantasies over men li$e that".

Though she coul n't have isagree more! Natasha let %nnie have her way" .%ll right then" 1oahea an open up".

.One oll!. Spence sai ! giving his aughter's ear a tug" .+ might have thought twice aboutmoving into that house! if +' reali:e there was a toy store a half mile away".

.3ou' buy her the bloo y toy store if you ha your way".

e spare one glance for the woman besi e him" .5on't start! Nina".

The slen er blon e shrugge her shoul ers! rippling the trim! rose linen &ac$et of her suit! thenloo$e at the little girl" .+ &ust meant your a y ten s to spoil you because he loves you somuch" (esi es! you eserve a present for being so goo about the move".

2ittle Fre erica =imball's bottom lip poute " .+ li$e my new house". She slippe her han intoher father's! automatically aligning herself with him an against the worl " .+ have a yar an aswing set all of my own".

Nina loo$e them over! the tall! rangy man an the fairy-si:e young girl" They ha i enticalstubborn chins"

%s far as she coul remember! she' never won an argument with either one"

.+ suppose +'m the only one who oesn't see that as an a vantage over living in New 3or$". Nina's tone warme slightly as she stro$e the girl's hair" .+ can't help worrying about you a little

bit" + really only want you to be happy! arling" 3ou an your a y".

.*e are". To brea$ the tension! Spence swung Fre ie into his arms" .%ren't we! funny face0.

.She's about to be that much happier". /elenting! Nina gave Spence's han a s9uee:e" .They'reopening".

.1oo morning". They were gray! %nnie note ! biting bac$ a long! reamy! .%hh". % gloriousgray" She tuc$e her little fantasy into the bac$ of her min an ushere in the first customers ofthe ay" .#ay + help you0.

.#y aughter's intereste in a oll". Spence set Fre ie on her feet again"

.*ell! you've come to the right place". %nnie utifully switche her attention to the chil " Shereally was a cute little thing! with her father's gray eyes an pale! flyaway blon hair" .*hat $inof oll woul you li$e0.

.% pretty one!. Fre ie answere imme iately" .% pretty one with re hair an blue eyes".


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.+'m sure we have &ust what you want". She offere a han " .*oul you li$e to loo$ aroun 0.

%fter a glance at her father for approval! Fre ie lin$e han s with %nnie an wan ere off"

.5amn it". Spence foun himself wincing"

Nina s9uee:e his han for the secon time" .Spence)

.+ elu e myself thin$ing that it oesn't matter! that she oesn't even remember".

.


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/elaxe again! he began to pay attention to the shop" 2i$e the olls he' imagine for hisaughter! it was bright an beautiful" Though small! it was pac$e from wall to wall with

everything a chil might covet" % big gol en giraffe an a sa -eye purple og hung from theceiling" *oo en trains! cars an planes! all painte in bol colors! &oc$eye for position on along isplay table with elegant miniature furniture" %n ol -fashione &ac$-in-the-box sat besi e

an intricate scale mo el of a futuristic space station" There were olls! some beautiful! somecharmingly homely! erector sets an tea sets"

The lac$ of stu ie arrangement ma e the result all the more appealing" This was a place to preten an to wish! a crow e %la in's cave esigne to ma$e chil ren's eyes light in won er"To ma$e them laugh! as his aughter was laughing now" e coul alrea y foresee that he' behar -presse to $eep Fre ie from ma$ing regular visits"

That was one of the reasons he' ma e the move to a small town" e wante his aughter to beable to reap the pleasures of local shops! where the merchants woul $now her name" She woul

be able to wal$ from one en of town to the other without those big-city worries about muggings!

ab uctions an rugs" There woul be no nee for ea bolts an security systems! for .whitenoise. machines to bloc$ out the surge an grin of traffic" Even a girl as little as his Fre iewoul n't be swallowe up here"

%n perhaps! without the pace an the pressure! he woul ma$e peace with himself"

+ ly he pic$e up a music box" +t was of elicately crafte porcelain! grace with a figure of araven-haire 1ypsy woman in a flounce re ress" +n her ears were tiny gol loops! an in herhan s a tambourine with colore streamers" e was certain he woul n't have foun anythingmore s$illfully ma e on Fifth %venue"

e won ere how the owner coul leave it out where small! curious fingers might reach an brea$" +ntrigue ! he turne the $ey an watche the figure revolve aroun the tiny! china campfire"

Tchai$ovs$y" e recogni:e the movement instantly! an his s$ille ear approve the 9uality oftone" % moo y! even passionate piece! he thought! fin ing it strange to come across suchex9uisite wor$manship in a toy store" Then he glance up an saw Natasha"

e stare " e coul n't help it" She was stan ing a few feet away! her hea up! slightly tilte asshe watche him" er hair was as ar$ as the ancer's an cor$screwe aroun her face in a wil

isarray that flowe beyon her shoul ers" er s$in was a ar$! rich gol that was set off by the

simple re ress she wore"(ut this woman was not fragile! he thought" Though she was small! he got the impression of

power" Perhaps it was her face! with its full! unpainte mouth an high! slashing chee$bones" ereyes were almost as ar$ as her hair! heavy-li e an thic$ly lashe " Even from a istance often feet he sense it" Strong! un ilute sex" +t surroun e her as other women surroun ethemselves with perfumes"


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For the first time in years he felt the muscle-numbing heat of pure esire"

Natasha saw it! then recogni:e an resente it" *hat $in of man! she won ere ! wal$e into aroom with his wife an aughter! then loo$e at another woman with na$e hunger in his eyes0

Not her $in "

5etermine to ignore the loo$ as she ha ignore it from others in the past! she crosse to him".5o you nee some help0.

elp0 Spence thought blan$ly" e nee e oxygen" e ha n't $nown it was literally possible for awoman to ta$e a man's breath away" .*ho are you0.

.Natasha Stanislas$i". She offere her coolest smile" .+ own the store".

er voice seeme to hang in the air! hus$y! vital! with a trace of her Slavic origins a ing

eroticism as truly as the music still playing behin him" She smelle of soap! nothing more! yetthe fragrance completely se uce him" *hen he i n't spea$! she lifte a brow" +t might have been amusing to $noc$ a man off his feet! but she was busy at the moment! an the man wasmarrie " .3our aughter has her selection own to three olls" Perhaps you' li$e to help herwith her final choice".

.+n a minute" 3our accent)is it /ussian0.

.3es". She won ere if she shoul tell him his wife was stan ing near the front oor! bore animpatient" . ow long have you been in %merica0.

.Since + was six". She aime a eliberately col glance" .%bout the same age as your little girl"Excuse me).

e ha his han on her arm before he coul stop himself" Even though he $new the move was a ba one! the venom in her eyes surprise him" .Sorry" + was going to as$ you about this music box".

Natasha shifte her ga:e to it as the music began to win own" .+t's one of our best! han craftehere in the States" %re you intereste in buying it0''

.+ haven't eci e ! but + thought you might not have reali:e it was sitting out on that shelf".

.*hy0.

.+t's not the $in of merchan ise one expects to fin in a toy store" +t coul easily be bro$en".

Natasha too$ it an place it farther bac$ on the shelf" .%n it can be men e ". She ma e a9uic$! clearly habitual movement with her shoul ers" +t spo$e of arrogance rather thancarelessness" .+ believe chil ren shoul be allowe the pleasures of music! on't you0.


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.3es". For the first time a smile flic$ere over his face" +t was! as %nnie ha note ! a particularlyeffective one! Natasha ha to a mit" Through her annoyance she felt the tric$le of attraction! anstrangely! $inship" Then he sai ! .%s a matter of fact! + believe that 9uite strongly" Perhaps wecoul iscuss it over inner".

ol ing herself rigi ! Natasha battle bac$ fury" +t was ifficult for one with her hot! oftenturbulent nature! but she remin e herself that the man ha not only his wife! but his youngaughter in the store"

The angry insults that rose to her throat were swallowe ! but not before Spence saw themreflecte in her eyes"

.No!. was all she sai as she turne "

.#iss). Spence began! then Fre ie whirle own the aisle! carrying a big! floppy /agge y%nn"

.5a y! isn't she nice0. Eyes shining! she hel out the oll for his approval"

+t was re hea e ! Spence thought" (ut it was anything but beautiful" Nor! to his relief! was it asymbol of %ngela" (ecause he $new Fre ie expecte it! he too$ his time examining her choice".This is!. he sai after a moment! .the very best oll +'ve seen to ay".

./eally0.

e crouche until he was eye to eye with his aughter" .%bsolutely" 3ou have excellent taste!funny face".

Fre ie reache out! crushing the oll between them as she hugge her father" .+ can have her0''

.+ thought she was for me". %s Fre ie giggle ! he pic$e up the pair of them"

.+'ll be happy to wrap her for you". Natasha's tone was warmer! she $new" e might be a &er$! but he love his aughter"

.+ can carry her". Fre ie s9uee:e her new frien close"

.%ll right" Then +'ll &ust give you a ribbon for her hair" *oul you li$e that0.

.% blue one".

.% blue one it is". Natasha le the way to the cash register"

Nina too$ one loo$ at the oll an rolle her eyes" .5arling! is that the best you coul o0.

.5a y li$es her!. Fre ie murmure ! uc$ing her hea "


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.3es! + o" ;ery much!. he a e with a telling loo$ for Nina" Setting Fre ie on her feet again!he fishe out his wallet"

The mother was certainly no pri:e! Natasha eci e " Though that i n't give the man a right tocome on to a cler$ in a toy store" She ma e change an han e over the receipt! then too$ out a

length of blue ribbon"

.Than$ you!. she sai to Fre ie" .+ thin$ she's going to li$e her new home with you verymuch".

.+'ll ta$e goo care of her!. Fre ie promise ! while she struggle to tie the ribbon through theyarn mop of hair" .Can people come in to loo$ at the toys! or o they have to buy one0.

Natasha smile ! then ta$ing another ribbon! tie a 9uic$! sassy bow in the chil 's hair" .3ou cancome in an loo$ anytime you li$e".

.Spence! we really must be going". Nina stoo hol ing the oor open"

./ight". e hesitate " +t was a small town! he remin e himself" %n if Fre ie coul come inan loo$! so coul he" .+t was nice meeting you! #iss Stanislas$i".

.1oo bye". She waite until the oor &ingle an close ! then let out a muttere stream ofcurses"

%nnie pee$e aroun a tower of buil ing bloc$s" .Excuse me0.

.That man".

.3es". *ith a little sigh! %nnie walt:e own the aisle" .That man".

. e brings his wife an chil into a place li$e this! then loo$s at me as if he wants to nibble onmy toes".

.Tash". er expression paine ! %nnie presse a han to her heart" .Please on't excite me".

.+ fin it insulting". She s$irte aroun the chec$out counter an swung a fist at a punching bag"

. e as$e me to inner".

. e what0. 5elight showe in %nnie's eyes! before a loo$ from Natasha ampene it" .3ou'reright" +t is insulting! seeing as he's a marrie man)even though his wife seeme li$e a colfish".

. is marital problems are no concern of mine".

.No4. Practicality warre with fantasy" .+ guess you turne him own".


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% cho$e soun caught in Natasha's throat as she turne " .Of course + turne him own".

.+ mean! of course!. %nnie put in 9uic$ly"

.The man has a nerve!. Natasha sai > her fingers itche to hit something" .Coming into my place

of business an propositioning me".

. e i n't7. Scan ali:e an thrille ! %nnie grabbe Natasha's arm" .Tash! he i n't really proposition you0 /ight here0.

.*ith his eyes he i " The message was clear". +t infuriate her how often men loo$e at her anonly saw the physical" Only wante to see the physical! she thought in isgust" She ha toleratesuggestions! propositions an proposals since before she ha fully un erstoo what they meant"(ut she un erstoo now an tolerate nothing"

.+f he ha n't ha that sweet little girl with him! + woul have slappe his face". (ecause the

image please her so much! she let loose on the hapless punching bag again"

%nnie ha seen her employer's temper fly often enough to $now how to cool it" .She was sweet!wasn't she0 er name's Fre ie" +sn't that cute0.

Natasha too$ a long! stea ying breath even as she rubbe her fiste han in her other palm".3es".

.She tol me they ha &ust move to Shepher stown from New 3or$" The oll was going to beher first new frien ".

.Poor little thing". Natasha $new too well the fears an anxieties of being a chil in a strange place" Forget the father! she tol herself with a toss of her hea " .She loo$s to be about the sameage as


13/154

when he' wal$e through this big! rambling house with the anxious real-estate agent ogginghis heels"

She ha n't ha to sell it! Spence thought" e' been sol the moment he' wal$e in the frontoor"

%s he watche ! a hummingbir swoope to hover at the cup of a bright re petunia" +n thatinstant he was more convince than ever that his ecision to leave the city ha been the rightone"

aving a brief fling with rural living" Nina's wor s rolle through his min as he watche thesun flash on the bir 's iri escent wings" +t was ifficult to blame her for saying it! for believing itwhen he ha always chosen to live in the mi le of things" e coul n't eny he ha en&oyethose glittery parties that ha laste until awn! or the elegant mi night suppers after a symphonyor ballet"

e ha been born into a worl of glamour an wealth an prestige" e ha live all of his life ina place where only the best was acceptable" %n he ha relishe it! Spence a mitte " Summeringin #onte Carlo! wintering in Nice or Cannes" *ee$en s in %ruba or Cancun"

e woul n't wish those experiences away! but he coul wish! an i ! that he ha accepte theresponsibilities of his life sooner"

e accepte them now" Spence watche the hummingbir strea$ away li$e a sapphire bullet"%n as much to his own surprise as to that of people who $new him! he was en&oying thoseresponsibilities" Fre ie ma e the ifference" %ll the ifference"

e thought of her an she came running across the bac$ lawn! her new rag oll tuc$e un er herarm" She ma e a beeline! as he expecte ! to the swing set" +t was so new that the blue an white paint gleame in the sunlight! an the har plastic seats were shiny as leather" *ith the oll inher lap! she pushe off! her face lifte s$ywar ! her tiny mouth moving to some private song"

2ove ramme into him with a velvet fist! soli an painful" +n all of his life he ha never $nownanything as consuming or as basic as the emotion she brought to him simply by being"

%s she gli e bac$ an forth! she cu le the oll! bringing her close to whisper secrets into herear" +t please him to see Fre ie so ta$en with the cloth an cotton oll" She coul have chosenchina or velvet! but ha pic$e something that loo$e as though it nee e love"

She' spo$en of the toy store throughout the morning! an was wishing! Spence $new! for areturn trip" Oh! she woul n't as$ for anything! he thought" Not irectly" She woul use her eyes"+t both amuse an baffle him that at five! his little girl ha alrea y mastere that peculiar aneffective feminine tric$"

e' thought of the toy store himself! an its owner" No feminine tric$s there! &ust pure womanlyis ain" +t ma e him wince again to remember how clumsy he' been" Out of practice! he


14/154

remin e himself with a self- eprecating smile an rubbe a han over the bac$ of his nec$"*hat was more! he coul n't remember ever experiencing that strong a sexual punch" +t was li$e

being hit by lightning! he eci e " % man was entitle to fumble a bit after being electrifie "

(ut her reaction4 Frowning! Spence replaye the scene in his min " She' been furious" She'

amn near been 9uivering with fury before he' opene his mouth)an put his foot in it"

She ha n't even attempte to be polite in her refusal"


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.%ll right". She wal$e to the piano an wave a han " .(ut if you wante a change! you coulhave foun a place on 2ong +slan or even in Connecticut".

.+ li$e it here! Nina" (elieve me! this is the best thing + coul o for Fre ie! an myself".

.+ hope you're right". (ecause she love him! she smile again" .+ still say you'll be bac$ in New3or$ within six months" +n the meantime! as that chil 's only aunt! + expect to be $ept apprise ofher progress". She glance own! annoye to see a chip in her nail polish" .The i ea of heratten ing public school).

.Nina".

.Never min ". She hel up a han " .There's no use starting this argument when + have a plane tocatch" %n +'m 9uite aware she's your chil ".

.3es! she is".

Nina tappe a finger on the glossy surface of the baby gran " .Spence! + $now you're stillcarrying aroun guilt because of %ngela" + on't li$e to see it".

is easy smile vanishe " .Some mista$es ta$e a long time to be erase ".

.She ma e you miserable!. Nina sai flatly" .There were problems within the first year of yourmarriage" Oh! you weren't forthcoming with information!. she a e when he i n't respon ".(ut there were others all too eager to pass it along to me or anyone else who woul listen" +twas no secret that she i n't want the chil ".

.%n how much better was +! wanting the baby only because + thought it woul fill the gaps inmy marriage0 That's a large bur en to han a chil ".

.3ou ma e mista$es" 3ou recogni:e them an you rectifie them" %ngela never suffere a pangof guilt in her life" +f she ha n't ie ! you woul have ivorce her an ta$en custo y of Fre ie"The result's the same" + $now that soun s col " The truth often is" + on't li$e to thin$ that you'rema$ing this move! changing your life this ramatically because you're trying to ma$e up forsomething that's long over".

.#aybe that's part of it" (ut there's more". e hel out a han ! waiting until Nina came to him"

.2oo$ at her". e pointe out the win ow to where Fre ie continue to swing high! free as the

hummingbir " .She's happy" %n so am +".

Chapter Two


.+'m not scare ".


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.3es! ma'am". She bit her bottom lip to $eep from turning away an hi ing her face against herfather's si e" .+t's Fre ie".

.*hew". #iss 5 gave another big grin" .+'m gla to hear that" Fre erica sure is a mouthful" *ell!hop aboar ! Fre ie girl" This is the big ay"


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.Ta$e your time". +t annoye him that his reaction to her shoul be so strong! while hers playetug-of-war at the opposite en of the spectrum" +t was obvious she' eci e to isli$e him" +tmight be interesting! Spence thought! while he watche her slen er! capable han s wrap thecarousel! to fin out her reasons"

%n change her min "

.That's @AA"B ! #rs" #ortimer".

.Oh no! ear! the price tag sai @D ".

Natasha! who $new #rs" #ortimer &uggle expenses on a fixe income! only smile " .+'m sorry"5i n't + tell you it was on sale0''

.No". #rs" #ortimer let out a little breath of relief as she counte out bills" .*ell! this must bemy luc$y ay".

.%n (onnie's". Natasha toppe the gift with a pretty! celebratory pin$ bow! remembering it was(onnie's favorite color" .(e sure to tell her happy birth ay".

.+ will". The prou gran mother lifte her pac$age" .+ can't wait to see her face when she opensthis" (ye! Natasha".

Natasha waite until the oor close " .#ay + help you with something0.

.That was a very nice thing to o".

She lifte a brow" .*hat o you mean0.

.3ou $now what + mean". e ha the absur urge to ta$e her han an $iss it" +t was incre ible!he thought" e was almost thirty-five an tumbling into puppy love with a woman he barely$new" .+' meant to come in before".

.Oh0 *as your aughter issatisfie with her oll0.

.No! she loves it" +t was &ust that +4. 1oo 1o ! he was nearly stuttering" Five minutes with her!an he felt as aw$war as a teenager at his first ance" e stea ie himself with an effort" .+ feltwe' gotten off on the wrong foot before" Shoul + apologi:e0.

.+f you li$e".


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5isguste with herself! she gave him a polite smile" .*as there something else0.

.+ wante something for my aughter". The hell with the gorgeous /ussian princess! he thought"e ha more important things to ten to"

.*hat was it you wante for her0.

.+ on't $now". That was true enough" Setting own his briefcase! he glance aroun the shop"

?nben ing a little! Natasha came aroun the counter" .+s it her birth ay0.

.No". Feeling foolish! he shrugge " .+t's the first ay of school! an she loo$e so4 bravegetting on the bus this morning".

This time Natasha's smile was spontaneous an full of warmth" +t nearly stoppe his heart" .3oushoul n't worry" *hen she comes home! she'll be full of stories about everything an everyone"

The first ay is much har er! + thin$! on the parent than on the chil ".

.+t's been the longest ay of my life".

She laughe ! a rich smo$y soun that seeme impossibly erotic in a room full of clowns anstuffe bears" .+t soun s li$e you both eserve a present" 3ou were loo$ing at a music box

before" + have another you might li$e".

So saying! she le the way to the bac$ of the shop" Spence i his best to ignore the subtle swayof her hips an the soft! fresh-scrubbe flavor of her scent" The box she chose was carve ofwoo ! its pe estal toppe with a cat an a fi le! a cow an a 9uarter moon" %s it turne to

.Star ust!. he saw the laughing og an the ish with the spoon"

.+t's charming".

.+t's one of my favorites". She' eci e that any man who a ore his aughter so blatantlycoul n't be all ba " So she smile again" .+ thin$ it woul be a lovely memento! something shecoul play on her first ay of college an remember her father was thin$ing of her".

.+f he survives first gra e". e shifte slightly to loo$ at her" .Than$ you" +t's perfect".

+t was the o est thing)his bo y ha har ly brushe hers! but she' felt a &olt" For an instant she

forgot he was a customer! a father! a husban ! an thought of him only as a man" is eyes werethe color of the river at us$" is lips! as they forme the barest hint of a smile! were impossiblyattractive! alluring" +nvoluntarily she won ere what it woul be li$e to feel them against herown)to watch his face as mouth met mouth! an see herself reflecte in his eyes"

%ppalle ! she steppe bac$ an her voice grew col er" .+'ll box it for you".


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+ntrigue by the su en change in tone! he too$ his time following her bac$ to the counter"a n't he seen something in those fabulous eyes of hers0 Or was it wishful thin$ing0 +t ha gone

9uic$ly enough! heat smothere in frost" For the life of him he coul fin no reason for either"

.Natasha". e lai a han on hers as she began to pac$ the music box"

Slowly she lifte her eyes" She was alrea y hating herself for noticing that his han s were beautiful! wi e-palme ! long-fingere " There was also a note of patience in his voice thatstretche her alrea y fraye nerves"

.3es0.

.*hy o + $eep getting the feeling you' li$e to boil me in oil0.

.3ou're mista$en!. she sai evenly" .+ on't thin$ +' li$e that".

.3ou on't soun convince ". e felt her han flex un er his! soft an strong" The image ofsteel-line velvet seeme particularly apt" .+'m having some trouble figuring out exactly what+'ve one to annoy you".

.Then you'll have to thin$ about it" Cash or charge0.

e' ha little practice with re&ection" 2i$e a wasp it stung the ego" No matter how beautiful shewas! he ha no esire to continue to ram his hea against the same bric$ wall"

.Cash". The oor &angle open behin them an he release her han " Three chil ren! fresh fromschool! came in giggling" % young boy with re hair an a face bursting with frec$les stoo on

his toes in front of the counter"

.+ have three ollars!. he announce "

Natasha fought bac$ a grin" .3ou're very rich to ay! #r"


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So she turne to music! flic$ing on the stereo as she steppe out of her shoes" Even that was atest" Tchai$ovs$y's /omeo an


25/154

*hat %nthony ha cost her coul never be tallie " Since that time! Natasha ha ma e very! verycertain no man woul ever cost her so early again"

(ut she ha survive " She lifte her glass in a self-toast" Not only ha she survive ! but exceptfor times when memories crow e in on her! she was happy" She love the shop! an the chance

it gave her to be aroun chil ren an ma$e them happy" +n her three years there she ha watchethem grow" She ha a won erful! funny frien in %nnie! boo$s that staye in the blac$ an ahome that suite her"

She hear a thump over her hea an smile " The


26/154

.+t's neat". She yawne hugely" .5i you fill out all the forms0.

.They'll be rea y for you to ta$e in tomorrow". %ll five hun re of them! he thought with a sigh"

.Time to unplug the batteries! funny face".

.One more story" The ma e-up $in ". She yawne again! comforte by the soft cotton of his shut beneath her chee$ an the familiar scent of his after-shave"

e gave in! $nowing she woul sleep long before he got to the happy ever after" e wove a storyaroun a beautiful! ar$-haire princess from a foreign lan ! an the $night who trie to rescueher from her ivory tower"

Foolishness! Spence thought even as he a e a sorcerer an a two-hea e ragon" e $new histhoughts were rifting towar Natasha again" She was certainly beautiful! but he i n't thin$ he'ever met a woman less in nee of rescuing"

+t was &ust his ba luc$ that he ha to pass her shop every ay to an from campus"

e' ignore her" +f anything! he shoul be grateful to her" She' ma e him want! ma e him feelthings he ha n't thought he coul anymore" #aybe now that he an Fre ie were settle ! he'start sociali:ing again" There were plenty of attractive! single women at the college" (ut the i eaof ating i n't fill him with elight"

Sociali:ing! Spence correcte " 5ating was for teenagers an con&ure up visions of rive-inmovies! pi::a an sweaty palms" e was a grown man! an it was certainly time he starteen&oying female companionship again" Over the age of five! he thought! loo$ing at Fre ie'ssmall han balle in his palm"


27/154

from room to room" Since Fre ie's birth! she ha proven not only efficient but in ispensable"Spence $new it was often possible to insure an employee's loyalty with a paychec$! but not herlove" From the moment Fre ie ha come home in her sil$-trimme blan$et! ;era ha been inlove"

She cast an eye up the stairs now! an her line face fol e into a smile" .She ha one big ay!huh0.

.3es! an one she fought en ing to the last gasp" ;era! you i n't have to bother".

She shrugge her shoul ers while she carrie the coffee into his office" .3ou sai you have towor$ tonight".

.3es! for a little while".

.So + ma$e you coffee before + go in an put my feet up to watch T;". She arrange the tray on

his es$! fussing a bit while she tal$e " .#y baby! she's happy with school an her new frien s".She i n't a that she ha wept into her apron when Fre ie ha steppe onto the bus" .*ith thehouse empty all ay! + have plenty of time to get my wor$ one" 3ou on't stay up too late! 5r"=imball".

.No". +t was a polite lie" e $new he was too restless for sleep" .Than$ you! ;era".

.5e na a7. She patte her iron-gray hair" .+ wante to tell you that + li$e this place very much" +was afrai to leave New 3or$! but now +'m happy".

.*e coul n't manage without you".

.Si"'' She too$ this as her ue" For seven years she ha wor$e for the senor! an bas$e in the prestige of being house$eeper for an important man)a respecte musician! a octor of musican a college professor" Since the birth of his aughter she ha been so in love with her baby thatshe woul have wor$e for Spence! whatever his station"

She ha grumble about moving from the beautiful high rise in New 3or$! to the rambling housein the small town! but ;era was shrew enough to $now that the senor ha been thin$ing ofFre ie" Fre ie ha come home from school only hours before! laughing! excite ! with thenames of new best frien s tumbling from her lips" So ;era was content"

.3ou are a goo father! 5r" =imball".Spence glance over before he sat own behin his es$" e was well aware that there ha beena time ;era ha consi ere him a very poor one"

.+'m learning".


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.Si". Casually she a &uste a boo$ on the shelf" .+n this big house you won't have to worry aboutisturbing Fre ie's sleep if you play your piano at night".

e loo$e over again! $nowing she was encouraging him in her way to concentrate on his music".No! it shoul n't isturb her" 1oo night! ;era".

%fter a 9uic$ glance aroun to be certain there was nothing more for her to ti y! she left him"

%lone! Spence poure the coffee! then stu ie the papers on his es$" Fre ie's school formswere stac$e next to his own wor$" e ha a great eal of preparation ahea of him! before hisclasses began the following wee$"

e loo$e forwar to it! even as he trie not to regret that the music that ha once playe soeffortlessly insi e his hea was still silent"

Chapter Three


Natasha scoope the barrette through the hair above her ear an hope it woul stay fixe formore than five minutes" She stu ie her reflection in the narrow mirror over the sin$ in the bac$of the shop before she eci e to a a touch of lipstic$" +t i n't matter that it ha been a longan hectic ay or that her feet were all but crying with fatigue" Tonight was her treat to herself!her rewar for a &ob well one"

Every semester she signe up for one course at the college" She chose whatever seeme most

fun! most intriguing or most unusual" /enaissance Poetry one year! %utomotive #aintenanceanother" This term! two evenings a wee$! she woul be ta$ing #usic istory" Tonight she woul begin an exploration of a new topic" Everything she learne she woul store for her own pleasure! as other women store iamon s an emeral s" +t i n't have to be useful" +n Natasha'sopinion a glittery nec$lace wasn't particularly useful! either" +t was simply exciting to own"

She ha her noteboo$! her pens an pencils an a floo of enthusiasm" To prepare herself! sheha rai e the library an pore over relate boo$s for the last two wee$s" Pri e woul n't allowher to go into class ignorant" Curiosity ma e her won er if her instructor coul ta$e the ry!

istant facts an a excitement"

There was little oubt that this particular instructor was a ing ashes of excitement in other9uarters" %nnie ha tease her &ust that morning about the new professor everyone was tal$ingabout" 5r" Spencer (" =imball"

The name soun e very istinguishe to Natasha! 9uite unli$e the escription of a hun$ that%nnie ha passe along" %nnie's information came from her cousin's aughter! who wasma&oring in Elementary E ucation with a minor in #usic" % sun-go ! %nnie ha relaye anma e Natasha laugh"


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% very gifte sun-go ! Natasha muse while she turne off lights in the shop" She $new=imball's wor$ well! or the wor$ he ha compose before he ha su enly an inexplicablystoppe writing music" *hy! she ha even ance to his Prelu e in 5 #inor when she ha beenwith the corps e ballet in New 3or$"

% million years ago! she thought as she steppe onto the street" Now she woul be able to meetthe genius! listen to his views an perhaps fin new meanings in many of the classics she alrea ylove "

e was probably the temperamental artiste type! she eci e ! please with the way the evening bree:e lifte her hair an coole her nec$" Or a pale eccentric with one earring" +t i n't matter"She inten e to wor$ har " Each course she too$ was a matter of pri e to her" +t still stung toremember how little she ha $nown when she' been eighteen" ow little she ha care to $now!

Natasha a mitte ! other than ance" She ha of her own choice close herself off from so manyworl s in or er to focus everything on one" *hen that ha been ta$en away! she ha been as lostas a chil set a rift on the %tlantic"

She ha foun her way to shore! &ust as her family ha once foun its way across the wil s of the?$raine to the &ungles of #anhattan" She li$e herself better)the in epen ent! ambitious%merican woman she ha become" %s she was now! she coul wal$ into the big! beautiful ol

buil ing on campus with as much pri e as any freshman stu ent"

There were footsteps echoing in the corri ors! istant! islocate " There was a hushe reverencethat Natasha always associate with churches an universities" +n a way there was religion here

)the belief in learning"

She felt somewhat reverent herself as she ma e her way to her class" %s a chil of five in her

small farming village! she ha never even imagine such a buil ing! or the boo$s an beauty itcontaine "

Several stu ents were alrea y waiting" % mixe bag! she note ! ranging from college to mi leage" %ll of them seeme to bu:: with that excitement of beginning" She saw by the cloc$ that itwas two minutes shy of eight" She' expecte =imball to be there! busily shuffling his papers!

peering at them behin glasses! his hair a little wil an streaming to his shoul ers"

%bsently she smile at a young man in horn-rims! who was staring at her as if he' &ust wo$enfrom a ream" /ea y to begin! she sat own! then loo$e up when the same man clumsilymaneuvere himself into the es$ besi e her"

. ello".

e loo$e as though she' struc$ him with a bat rather than offere a casual greeting" e pushehis glasses nervously up his nose" . ello" +'m)+'m4Terry #aynar !. he finishe on a burst ashis name apparently came to him at last"

.Natasha". She smile again" e was on the sunny si e of twenty-five an harmless as a puppy"


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.*hat0 Oh" 1oo night! Terry".

.+ coul ! ah! give you a ri e home if you want". The fact that he was nearly out of gas an hismuffler was currently hel on by a coat hanger i n't enter his min "

She favore him with an absent smile that ha his heart oing a cha-cha" .That's nice of you! but+ on't live far".

She hope to bree:e out of the classroom while Spence was still occupie " She shoul have$nown better"

e simply put a han on her arm an stoppe her" .+' li$e to spea$ with you a moment! Natasha".

.+'m in a hurry".

.+t won't ta$e long". e no e to the last of his eparting stu ents! then ease bac$ against hises$ an grinne at her" .+ shoul have pai more attention to my roster! but then again! it's niceto $now there are still surprises in the worl ".

.That epen s on your point of view! 5r" =imball".

.Spence". e continue to grin" .Class is over".

.So it is". er regal no ma e him thin$ again of /ussian /oyalty" .Excuse me".

.Natasha". e waite ! almost seeing impatience shimmer aroun her as she turne " .+ can't

imagine that someone with your heritage oesn't believe in estiny".

.5estiny0.

.Of all the classrooms in all the universities in all the worl ! she wal$s into mine".

She woul n't laugh" She' be amne if she woul " (ut her mouth 9uir$e up at the comers before she controlle it" .%n here + was thin$ing it was &ust ba luc$".

.*hy #usic istory0.

She balance her noteboo$ on her hip" .+t was a toss-up between that an %stronomy".

.That soun s li$e a fascinating story" *hy on't we go own the street for a cup of coffee0 3oucan tell me about it". Now he saw it)molten fury that turne her eyes from rich velvet to sharp

&et" .Now why oes that infuriate you0. he in9uire ! almost to himself" .+s an offer of a cup ofcoffee in this town similar to an illicit proposition0.


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.3ou shoul $now! 5r" =imball". She turne ! but he reache the oor before her! slamming itwith enough force to ma$e her step bac$" e was every bit as angry as herself! she note " Notthat it mattere " +t was only that he ha seeme a mil sort of man" 5etestable! but mil " Therewas nothing mil about him now" Those fascinating bones an angles in his face might have

been carve of stone"

.Clarify".

.Open the oor".

.1la ly" %fter you answer my 9uestion". e was angry" Spence reali:e he ha n't felt this $inof hot! bloo -pumping rage in years" +t felt won erful" .+ reali:e that &ust because +'m attracte toyou oesn't mean you have to return the favor".

She threw up her chin! hating herself for fin ing the storm-clou -gray eyes so hypnotic" .+ on't".

.Fine". e coul n't strangle her for that! however much he' li$e to" .(ut! amn it! + want to$now why you aim an fire every time +'m aroun you".

.(ecause men li$e you eserve to be shot".

.#en li$e me!. he repeate ! measuring out the wor s" .*hat exactly oes that mean0.

e was stan ing close! all but looming over her" %s in the shop when he ha brushe up againsther! she felt those bubble bursts of excitement! attraction! confusion" +t was more than enough to

push her over the e ge"

.5o you thin$ because you have a nice face an a pretty smile you can o whatever you li$e03es!. she answere before he coul spea$ an slappe her noteboo$ against his chest" .3outhin$ you have only to snap your fingers". She emonstrate ramatically" .%n a woman willfall into your arms" Not this woman".

er accent thic$ene when she was on a roll! he note ! somewhat baffle by her claim" .+ on'trecall snapping my fingers".

She let loose one short! explicit ?$rainian oath an grabbe the $nob" .3ou want to have a cupof coffee with me0 1oo " *e'll have your coffee)an we'll call your wife an as$ her to &oinus".

.#y what0. e close his han over hers so that the oor was &er$e open! then slamme shutagain" .+ on't have a wife".

./eally0. The single wor rippe with scorn> her eyes flashe at him" .%n + suppose thewoman who came with you to the shop is your sister".

+t shoul have been funny" (ut he coul n't 9uite get the &o$e" .Nina0 %s a matter of fact! she is".


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she fought to hol it bac$" e coul feel it in her taut! terrifie stance" +f she release it! shecoul ma$e him a slave"

Nee s such as he' never $nown battere his system with heavy fists" +mages! all fire an smo$e!ance in his brain" Something struggle to brea$ free! li$e a bir beating at the bars of a cage"

e coul feel it straining" Then Natasha was pulling away from him! stan ing apart an staring athim with wi e! elo9uent eyes"

She coul n't breathe" For an instant she was genuinely afrai she woul ie on the spot with thisunwante ! shameful esire on her conscience" +n efiance she too$ a huge gulp of air"

.+ coul never hate anyone as much as + hate you".

e shoo$ his hea to clear it" She ha left him i::y! a:e an utterly efenseless" For his ownsa$e he waite until he was sure he coul spea$" .That's a lofty position you put me in! Natasha".

e steppe own until they were at eye level" There were tears on her lashes! but they were

offset by the con emnation in her eyes" .2et's &ust be sure you've put me there for the rightreasons" +s it because + $isse you! or because you li$e it0.

She swung her han out" e coul have avoi e the blow easily enough! but thought sheeserve a hit" %s the crac$ of the slap echoe ! he eci e they were even"

.5on't come near me again!. she sai ! breathing har " .+ warn you! if you o! + won't care what +say or who hears me" +f it wasn't for your little girl). She bro$e off an bent to gather herthings" er pri e was shattere ! along with her self-esteem" .3ou on't eserve such a beautifulchil ".

e caught her arm again! but this time the expression on his face ma e her bloo go col ".3ou're right" + never have an probably never will eserve Fre ie! but +'m all she has" ermother)my wife) ie three years ago".

e stro e off! was caught in the beam of a street lamp! then isappeare into the ar$ beyon "er noteboo$ presse against her chest! Natasha san$ wea$ly onto the bottom step"

*hat in hell was she going to o now0

There was no choice" No matter how much she hate it! there was really only one course to ta$e" Natasha rubbe the palms of her han s on the thighs of her $ha$is! then starte up the freshly

painte woo en steps"+t was a nice house! she thought! stalling" Of course she' seen it so often that she rarely noticeit anymore" +t was one of those stur y ol bric$ places tuc$e bac$ from the street an shiel e

by trees an box he ges"


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The summer flowers ha yet to fa e! but the fall blooms were alrea y sta$ing their claim" Showyelphiniums vie with spicy scente mums! vivi ahlias with starry asters" Someone was caring

for them" She coul see fresh mulch on the flower be s! amp with watering"

*anting a little more time! she stu ie the house" There were curtains at the win ows! thin ivory

sheers that woul let in the light" igher up she caught a glimpse of a fanciful pattern of unicornsthat i entifie a little girl's room"

She gathere her courage an crosse the porch to the front oor" +t woul be 9uic$! she promise herself" Not painless! but 9uic$" She rappe ! release her breath an waite "

The woman who answere was short an wi e with a face as brown an wrin$le as a raisin" Natasha foun herself fixe by a pair of small! ar$ eyes while the house$eeper rie her han son the s$irt of a staine apron"

.#ay + help you0.

.+' li$e to see 5r" =imball if he's in". She smile ! preten ing she i n't feel as though she werestepping into the pillory" .+'m Natasha Stanislas$i". She saw the house$eeper's little eyes narrow!so that they nearly isappearing into the fol s of her face"

;era ha at first ta$en Natasha for one of the senor's stu ents! an ha been prepare to nu geher on her way" .3ou own the toy store in town".

.That's right".

.%h". *ith a no ! she opene the oor wi er to let Natasha in" .Fre ie says you are a very nice

la y! who gave her a blue ribbon for her oll" + promise to ta$e her bac$! but &ust to loo$". Shegesture for Natasha to follow"

%s they ma e their way own the hall! Natasha caught the hesitant notes of a piano" *hen shesaw her reflection in an ol oval mirror! it surprise her that she was smiling"

e was sitting at the piano with the chil on his lap! loo$ing over her hea while she slowlytappe out .#ary a a 2ittle 2amb". The sun streame in through the win ows behin them"%t that moment she wishe she coul paint" ow else coul it be capture 0

+t was perfect" The light! the sha ows! the pale pastels of the room all combine to ma$e the

perfect bac$ rop" The alignment of their hea s! their bo ies! was too natural an elo9uent ever to be pose " The girl was in pin$ an white! the laces of one snea$er untie " e ha ta$en off his &ac$et an tie! then rolle up the sleeves of the pale ress shirt to the elbows li$e a wor$man"

There was the fragile shine of the chil 's hair! the eeper glow of his" The chil leane bac$against her father! her hea resting &ust un er his collarbone> the faintest smile of pleasure lighteher face" Over it all was the simple nursery rhyme music she was playing"


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e ha his han s on the $nees of her &eans! his long! beautiful fingers tapping the time in tan emwith the tic$ of the anti9ue metronome" She coul see it all! the love! the patience! the pri e"

.No! please!. Natasha whispere ! hol ing out a han to ;era" .5on't isturb them".

.3ou play now! 5a y". Fre ie tilte her hea towar his" er hair wispe aroun her facewhere it ha escape from its clips" .Play something pretty".

.Fur Elise". Natasha recogni:e it instantly! that soft! romantic! somehow lonely music" +t wentstraight to her heart as she watche his fingers stro$e! caress! se uce the $eys"

*hat was he thin$ing0 She coul see that his thoughts ha turne inwar )to the music! tohimself" There was an effortlessness in the way his fingers flowe over the $eys! an yet she$new that $in of beauty was never achieve without the greatest effort"

The song swelle ! note after note! unbearably sa ! impossibly beautiful! li$e the vase of waxy

calla lilies that reste on the glossy surface of the piano"

Too much emotion! Natasha thought" Too much pain! though the sun was still shining throughthe gau:y curtains an the chil on his lap continue to smile" The urge to go to him! to put acomforting han onto his shoul er! to hol them both against her heart! was so strong that sheha to curl her fingers into her palms"

Then the music rifte away! the last note lingering li$e a sigh"

.+ li$e that one!. Fre ie tol him" .5i you ma$e it up0.

.No". e loo$e at his fingers! sprea ing them! flexing them! then letting them rest on hers".(eethoven i ". Then he was smiling again! pressing his lips to the soft curve of his aughter'snec$" . a enough for to ay! funny face0.

.Can + play outsi e until inner0.

.*ell4 *hat'll you give me0.

+t was an ol game an a favorite one" 1iggling! she swivele on his lap an gave him a har !smac$ing $iss" Still s9uealing from the bear hug! she spotte Natasha" . i7.

.#iss Stanislas$i woul li$e to see you! 5r" =imball". %t his no ! ;era wal$e bac$ to the$itchen"

. ello". Natasha manage to smile! even when Spence lifte his aughter an turne " She wasn'tover the music yet" +t was still pouring through her li$e tears" .+ hope + haven't come at a batime".

.No". %fter a last s9uee:e! he set Fre ie own! an she imme iately boun e to Natasha"


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.*e're all finishe with my lesson" 5i you come to play0.

.No! not this time". ?nable to resist! Natasha bent to stro$e Fre ie's chee$" .%ctually + came total$ to your father". (ut she was a cowar ! Natasha thought in isgust" /ather than loo$ at him!she continue to a ress Fre ie" . ow o you li$e school0 3ou have #rs" Patterson! on't

you0.

.She's nice" She i n't even yell when #i$ey Towers's ic$y bug collection got loose in theclassroom" %n + can rea all of 1o! 5og! 1o".

Natasha crouche so that they were eye to eye" .5o you li$e my hat0''

Fre ie laughe ! recogni:ing the line from the 5r" Seuss classic" .+ li$e the og party part the best".

.So o +". %utomatically she tie Fre ie's loose laces" .*ill you come to the store an visit me

soon0.

.O$ay". 5elighte with herself! Fre ie race for the oor" .(ye #iss Stanof)Stanif).

.Tash". She sent Fre ie a win$" .%ll the $i s call me Tash".

.Tash". Fre ie grinne at the soun of the name! then strea$e away"

She listene to Fre ie's snea$ers s9uea$ own the hall! then too$ a long breath" .+'m sorry toisturb you at home! but + felt it woul be more4. *hat was the wor 0 %ppropriate!

comfortable0 .+t woul be better".

.%ll right". is eyes were very cool! not li$e those of the man who ha playe such sa an passionate music" .*oul you li$e to sit own0.

.No". She sai it too 9uic$ly! then remin e herself that it was better if they were both stiffly polite" .+t won't ta$e long" + only want to apologi:e".

.Oh0 For something specific0.

Fire bla:e in her eyes" e en&oye seeing it! particularly since he' spent most of the nightcursing her" .*hen + ma$e a mista$e! + ma$e a point of a mitting it" (ut since you behave so

)'' Oh! why i she always lose her English when she was angry0

.?nconscionably0. he suggeste "

er brow shot up into her fall of hair" .So you a mit it".

.+ thought you were the one who was here to a mit something". En&oying himself! he sat on thearm of a wing chair in pale blue amas$" .5on't let me interrupt".


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feel the warmth seep into her bloo stream li$e a rug" *ith a little moan! she slippe her han sup his bac$ an hel on"

+t was li$e hol ing a can le an feeling the wax slowly melt as the fire burne at its center" ecoul feel her yiel egree by egree until her lips parte for his own! accepting! inviting" (ut

even as she gave! he coul sense some strong! har core that resiste ! hel bac$" She i n't wantto feel whatever he was ma$ing her feel"

+mpatient! he ragge her closer" Though her bo y mol e itself to his an her hea fell bac$ inerotic surren er! there was still a part of her stan ing &ust out of his reach" *hat she gave himonly stirre his appetite for more"

She was breathless when he release her" +t too$ an effort! too much of an effort! Natashathought! to level herself" (ut once she ha ! her voice was stea y"

.+ on't want to be involve ".

.*ith me! or with anyone0.

.*ith anyone".

.1oo ". e brushe a han over her hair" .+t'll be simpler to change your min ".

.+'m very stubborn!. she muttere "

.3es! +'ve notice " *hy on't you stay for inner0.

.No".

.%ll right" +'ll ta$e you to inner Satur ay night".

.No".

.Seven-thirty" +'ll pic$ you up".

.No".

.3ou woul n't want me to come by the shop Satur ay afternoon an embarrass you".

Out of patience! she stal$e to the oor" .+ can't un erstan how a man that coul play musicwith such sensitivity coul be such a clo ".


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Spence ha le her secon class brilliantly! never loo$ing at her any longer than he ha loo$e atany of his other stu ents! answering her 9uestions in the same tone he use with others" 3es! avery patient player"

Then! &ust when she' relaxe ! he' passe her that first re rose as she wal$e out of class" %

very smart move to en anger her 9ueen"

+f she' ha any spine at all! Natasha thought now! she woul have roppe it onto the floor angroun it un er her heel" (ut she ha n't! an now ha to scramble to $eep one play ahea of him"(ecause it ha caught her off guar ! Natasha tol herself"


44/154

.3ou shoul be wor$ing for the ?N". She no e out the front win ow> the boys were practicing passing on their way own the street" .There aren't many tougher nuts than theFree mont brothers".

.+ ma$e them afrai of me first! then offer them a ignifie way out".

.See0 5efinitely ?N material".

*ith a laugh! Natasha shoo$ her hea " .Other people's problems are the easiest to solve".*ea$ening! she glance towar the rose again" +f she ha one wish at the moment! it woul befor someone to come along an solve her own"

%n hour later she felt a tug on the hem of her s$irt"

. i".

.Fre ie! hello". She flic$e her finger over a bow that was trying to hol bac$ Fre ie's flyawayhair" +t was tie from the blue ribbon Natasha ha given her on her first visit" .5on't you loo$ pretty to ay".

Fre ie beame ! female to female" .5o you li$e my outfit0.

Natasha surveye the obviously new blue enim overalls! para e stiff with si:ing" .+ li$e it verymuch" + have a pair &ust li$e them".

.3ou o0. Nothing! since Fre ie ha eci e to ma$e Natasha her newest heroine! coul have please her more" .#y a y got them for me".

.That's nice". 5espite her better &u gment! Natasha scanne the shop for him" .5i he! ah! bringyou in to ay0.

.No! ;era i " 3ou sai it was all right &ust to loo$".

.Sure it is" +'m gla you came in". %n she was! Natasha reali:e "


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5elight nearly split Fre ie's face in two" .O$ay" +t has a hat! an +'m going to learn how to ma$e pillows an can le hol ers an all $in s of things" +'ll ma$e you something".

.+' li$e that". She ti ie Fre ie's lopsi e bow"

.5a y sai you were going to eat inner with him in a restaurant tonight".

.*ell! +).

.+ on't li$e restaurants very much! except for pi::a! so +'m going to stay home! an ;era's goingto fix tortillas for me an


46/154

*ith a humorless smile! Natasha shove a pin bac$ into her hair" .%t a guess! + woul say thewoman believes + have esigns on her employer".

%nnie gave an unla yli$e snort" .+f anything! the employer has esigns on you" + shoul be soluc$y". er sigh was only a little envious" .Now that we $now the new hun$ on the bloc$ isn't

marrie ! all's right with the worl " *hy i n't you tell me you were going out with him0.

.(ecause + wasn't".

.(ut + hear Fre ie say).

. e as$e me out!. Natasha clarifie " .+ sai no".

.+ see". %fter a brief pause! %nnie tilte her hea " .*hen i you have the acci ent0.

.%cci ent0.

.3es! the one where you suffere brain amage".

Natasha's face cleare with a laugh! an she starte towar the front of the shop"

.+'m serious!. %nnie sai as soon as they ha five free minutes" .5r" Spencer =imball isgorgeous! unattache an 4. She leane over the counter to sniff at the rose" .Charming" *hyaren't you ta$ing off early to wor$ on real problems! li$e what to wear tonight0.

.+ $now what +'m wearing tonight" #y bathrobe".

%nnie coul n't resist the grin" .%ren't you rushing things &ust a ta 0 + on't thin$ you shoul wearyour robe until at least your thir ate".

.There's not going to be a first one". Natasha smile at her next customer an rang up a sale"

+t too$ %nnie forty minutes to wor$ bac$ to the sub&ect at han " .


47/154

Surprise by %nnie's tone! Natasha stoppe ti ying the racetrac$ isplay her Satur ay visitorsha wrec$e " .*e are" 3ou $now we are".

.Frien s tal$ to each other! Tash! confi e in each other! as$ a vice". Puffing out a breath! %nniestuffe her han s into the poc$ets of her baggy &eans" .2oo$! + $now that things happene to you

before you came here! things you're still carrying aroun but never tal$ about" + figure + was being a better frien by not as$ing you about it".

a she been so obvious0 Natasha won ere " %ll this time she' been certain she ha burie the past an all that went with it) eeply" Feeling a little helpless! she reache out to touch %nnie'shan " .Than$ you".

*ith a ismissive shrug! %nnie turne to flic$ the loc$ on the front oor" The shop was emptynow! the bustle of the afternoon only an echo" ./emember when you let me cry on your shoul erafter 5on Newman umpe me0.

Natasha presse her lips into a thin line" . e wasn't worth crying over".

.+ en&oye crying over him!. %nnie returne with a 9uic$! amuse smile" .+ nee e to cry anyell an moan an get a little run$" 3ou were right there for me! saying all those great! nastythings about him".

.That was the easy part!. Natasha remembere " . e was a or$". +t please her tremen ously touse the young Free mont boy's insult"

.3eah! but he was a terrific-loo$ing or$". %nnie allowe herself a brief reminiscence"

.%nyway! you helpe me over that rough spot until + convince myself + was better off without

him" 3ou've never nee e my shoul er! Tash! because you've never let a guy get past this". Shelifte a han ! pressing her palm against empty air"

%muse ! Natasha leane bac$ against the counter" .%n what is that0.

.The 1reat Stanislas$i Force Fiel !. %nnie tol her" .1uarantee to repel all males from the ageof twenty-five to fifty".

Natasha lifte a brow! not 9uite sure if she was amuse any longer" .+'m not certain if you'retrying to flatter or insult me".

.Neither"


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She was acting li$e a teenager! Natasha tol herself as she wal$e to the oor" +t was only inner!the first an last inner she inten e to share with him" %n he was only a man! she a e !

pulling the oor open"

%n outrageously attractive man"

e loo$e won erful! was all she coul thin$! with his hair swept bac$ from his face! an thathalf smile in his eyes" +t ha never occurre to her that a man coul be gut wrenchingly sexy in asuit an a tie"

. i". e hel out another re rose"

Natasha nearly sighe " +t was a pity the smo$e-gray suit i n't ma$e him seem more professorial"1iving in a little! she tappe the blossom against her chee$" .+t wasn't the roses that change mymin ".

.%bout what0.

.%bout having inner with you". She steppe bac$! eci ing that she ha no choice but to lethim in while she put the flower into water"

e smile then! fully! an exasperate her by loo$ing charming an coc$y at the same time".*hat i 0.

.+'m hungry". She set her short velvet &ac$et on the arm of the sofa" .+'ll put this in water" 3oucan sit if you li$e".

She wasn't going to give him an inch! Spence thought as he watche her wal$ away" O lyenough! that only ma e her more interesting" e too$ a eep breath! sha$ing his hea " +ncre ible"


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.(oth".

.% responsible chil ".

e ran a fingertip own her wrist an surprise a shiver out of her" (efore she move her han

away! he felt her pulse scramble" .*hat o you remember about being five0.

(ecause her reaction annoye her! she was etermine to show him nothing" She only shrugge ".#y father bringing in woo for the fire! his hair an coat all covere with snow" The babycrying)my youngest brother" The smell of the brea my mother ha ba$e " Preten ing to beasleep while + listene to Papa tal$ to her about escape".

.*ere you afrai 0.

.3es". er eyes blurre with the memory" She i n't often loo$ bac$! i n't often nee to" (utwhen she i ! it came not with the watery loo$ of ol reams! but clear as glass" .Oh! yes" ;ery

afrai " #ore than + will ever be again".

.*ill you tell me0.

.*hy0.

is eyes were ar$! an fixe on her face" .(ecause +' li$e to un erstan ".

She starte to pass it off! even ha the wor s in her min " (ut the memory remaine too vivi ".*e waite until spring an too$ only what we coul carry" *e tol no one! no one at all! anset off in the wagon" Papa sai we were going to visit my mother's sister who live in the west"

(ut + thin$ there were some who $new! who watche us go with tire faces an big eyes" Papaha papers! ba ly forge ! but he ha a map an hope we woul avoi the bor er guar s".

.%n you were only five0.

.Nearly six by then". Thin$ing! she ran a fingertip aroun an aroun the rim of her glass"

.#i$hail was between four an five! %lex &ust two" %t night! if we coul ris$ a fire! we woul sitaroun it an Papa woul tell stories" Those were goo nights" *e woul fall asleep listening tohis voice an smelling the smo$e from the fire" *e went over the mountains an into ungary" +ttoo$ us ninety-three ays".

e coul n't imagine it! not even when he coul see it reflecte so clearly in her eyes" er voicewas low! but the emotions were all there! bringing it richness" Thin$ing of the little girl! he too$her han an waite for her to go on"

.#y father ha planne for years" Perhaps he ha reame it all of his life" e ha names! peoplewho woul help efectors" There was war! the col one! but + was too young to un erstan " +un erstoo the fear! in my parents! in the others who helpe us" *e were smuggle out of


53/154

ungary into %ustria" The church sponsore us! brought us to %merica" +t was a long time before+ stoppe waiting for the police to come an ta$e my father away".

She brought herself bac$! embarrasse to have spo$en of it! surprise to fin her han caughtfirmly in his"

.That's a lot for a chil to eal with".

.+ also remember eating my first hot og". She smile an pic$e up her wine again" She neverspo$e of that time! never" Not even with family" Now that she ha ! with him! she felt a esperatenee to change the sub&ect" .%n the ay my father brought home our first television" Nochil hoo ! even one with nannies! is ever completely secure" (ut we grow up" +'m a

businesswoman! an you're a respecte composer" *hy on't you write0. She felt his fingerstense on hers" .+'m sorry!. she sai 9uic$ly" .+ ha no business as$ing that".

.+t's all right". is fingers relaxe again" .+ on't write because + can't".

She hesitate ! then went on impulse" .+ $now your music" Something that intense oesn't fa e".

.+t hasn't mattere a great eal in the past couple of years"


54/154

Natasha only smile " .(ig ol houses li$e yours ten to get mice in the winter" +n fact! in a houseof that si:e! you' be wise to ta$e two of


55/154


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in temperature that ha sprin$le frost on the groun " %s he race after her! it flappe aw$war ly behin him" (y the time he reache her! his glasses ha slippe croo$e ly own to the tip of hisre ening nose"

. i! Terry".

The hun re -yar ash ha win e him" e early hope it woul n't aggravate his asthma" . i" +was)+ saw you hea ing in". e' been waiting hopefully for her for twenty minutes"

Feeling a bit li$e a mother with a clumsy chil ! she straightene his glasses! then wrappe thescarf more securely aroun his s$inny nec$" is rapi breathing fogge his lenses" .3ou shoul

be wearing gloves!. she tol him! then patting his chille han ! le him up the steps"

Overwhelme ! he trie to spea$ an only ma e a strangle soun in his throat"

.%re you catching a col 0. Searching through her purse! she foun a tissue an offere it"

e cleare his throat lou ly" .No". (ut he too$ the tissue an vowe to $eep it until the ay heie " .+ was &ust won ering if tonight)after class)you $now! if you on't have anything too4 3ou've probably got plans! but if you on't! then maybe4 we coul have a cup of coffee"

Two cups!. he amen e esperately" .+ mean you coul have your own cup! an +' have one".So saying! he turne a thin sha e of green"

The poor boy was lonely! Natasha thought! giving him an absent smile" .Sure". +t woul n't hurtto $eep him company for an hour or so! she eci e as she wal$e into class" %n it woul helpher $eep her min off4

Off the man stan ing in front of the class! Natasha reflecte with a scowl> the man who ha$isse the breath out of her two wee$s before an who was currently laughing with a sassy little blon e who coul n't have been a ay over twenty"

er moo grim! she ploppe own at her es$ an po$e her nose into a textboo$"

Spence $new the moment she wal$e into the room" e was more than a little gratifie to haveseen the huffy &ealousy on her face before she stuc$ a boo$ in front of it" %pparently fate ha n't

been ealing him such a ba han when it $ept him up to his ears in professional an personal problems for the last couple of wee$s" (etween lea$y plumbing! PT% an (rownie meetings ana faculty conference! he ha n't ha an hour free" (ut now things were running smoothly again"

e stu ie the top of Natasha's hea " e inten e to ma$e up for lost time"Sitting on the e ge of his es$! he opene a iscussion of the istinctions between sacre ansecular music uring the baro9ue perio "

She i n't want to be intereste " Natasha was sure he $new it" *hy else woul he eliberatelycall on her for an opinion)twice0


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Oh! he was clever! she thought" Not by a flic$er! not by the slightest intonation i he reveal amore personal relationship with her" No one in class woul possibly suspect that this smooth!even brilliant lecturer ha $isse her senseless! not once! not twice! but three times" Now hecalmly tal$e of early seventeenth-century operatic evelopments"

+n his blac$ turtlenec$ an gray twee &ac$et he loo$e casually elegant an totally in charge"%n of course! as always! he ha the class in the palms of those beautiful han s he elo9uentlyuse to ma$e a point" *hen he smile over a stu ent's comment! Natasha hear the little blon etwo seats behin her sigh" (ecause she' nearly one so herself! Natasha stiffene her spine"

e probably ha a whole string of eager women" % man who loo$e li$e him! tal$e li$e him!$isse li$e him was boun to" e was the type that ma e promises to one woman at mi nightan snuggle up to another over brea$fast in be "

*asn't it fortunate she no longer believe in promises0

Something was going on insi e that fabulous hea of hers! Spence muse " One moment she waslistening to him as if he ha the answers to the mysteries of the universe on the tip of his tongue"The next! she was sitting rigi ly an staring off into space! as though she wishe herselfsomewhere else" e woul swear that she was angry! an that the anger was irecte s9uarely athim" *hy was an entirely ifferent matter"

*henever he' trie to have a wor with her after class over the last couple of wee$s! she' beenout of the buil ing li$e a bullet" Tonight he woul have to outmaneuver her"

She stoo the moment class was over" Spence watche her smile at the man sitting across fromher" Then she bent own to pic$ up the boo$s an pencils the man scattere as he rose"

*hat was his name0 Spence won ere " #aynar " That was it" #r" #aynar was in several of hisclasses! an manage to fa e into the bac$groun in each one" 3et at the moment the unobtrusive#r" #aynar was crouche $nee to $nee with Natasha"

.+ thin$ we've got them all". Natasha gave Terry's glasses a frien ly shove bac$ up his nose"

.Than$s".

.5on't forget your scarf). she began! then loo$e up" % han close over her arm an helpeher to her feet" .Than$ you! 5r" =imball".

.+' li$e to tal$ to you! Natasha".

.*oul you0. She gave the han on her arm a brief loo$! then snatche up her coat an boo$s"Feeling as though she were on a chessboar again! she eci e to aggressively counter his move".+'m sorry! it'll have to wait" + have a ate".

.% ate0. he manage ! getting an imme iate picture of someone ar$! ashing an muscle- boun "


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.3es" Excuse me". She shoo$ off his han an stuc$ an arm into the sleeve of her coat" Since themen on either si e of her seeme e9ually paraly:e ! she shifte the boo$s to her other arm anstruggle to fin the secon sleeve" .%re you rea y! Terry0.

.*ell! yeah! sure" 3eah". e was staring at Spence with a mixture of awe an trepi ation" .(ut +

can wait if you want to tal$ to 5r" =imball first".

.There's no nee ". She scoope up his arm an pulle him to the oor"

*omen! Spence thought as he sat own at a es$" e' alrea y accepte the fact that he hanever un erstoo them" %pparently he never woul "

.


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.+ i n't want to miss the opportunity" + went to New 3or$ last year to hear him lecture". Te

Documents

[Stanislaski 01] - Taming Natasha