The Jester's Dance - Andrei Munteanu

8/12/2019 The Jester's Dance - Andrei Munteanu

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/the-jesters-dance-andrei-munteanu 1/281



The Jester's Dance

Andrew Wilson



“The world is like a ride in an amusement

park, and when you choose to go on it you

think it's real because that's how powerful

our minds are. The ride goes up and down,around and around, it has thrills and

chills, and it's ery brightly colored, and

it's ery loud, and it's fun for a while.

!any people hae been on the ride a long

time, and they begin to wonder, "#ey, is

this real, or is this $ust a ride%" And

other people hae remembered, and they comeback to us and say, "#ey, don't worry&

don't be afraid, eer, because this is $ust

a ride." And we kill those people. "(hut

him up) *'e got a lot inested in this

ride, shut him up) +ook at my furrows of

worry, look at my big bank account, and my

family. This has to be real." It's just aride. ut we always kill the good guys who

try and tell us that, you eer notice that%

And let the demons run amok ut it

doesn't matter, because it's $ust a ride.

And we can change it any time we want. *t's

only a choice. -o effort, no work, no $ob,

no saings of money. Just a simple choice,

right now, between fear and love. The eyes

of fear want you to put bigger locks on

your doors, buy guns, close yourself off.

The eyes of loe instead see all of us as

one. #ere's what we can do to change the

world, right now, to a better ride. Take

all that money we spend on weapons and

defenses each year and instead spend itfeeding and clothing and educating the poor

of the world, which it would pay for many

times oer, not one human being ecluded,



and we could eplore space, together, both

inner and outer, foreer, in peace./

ill #icks



!ay the light of a thousand suns guide you

on the diine path of remembering yourself,dear reader...

Andrew Wilson,

0ctober, 1234

5oert art by Dhyananda



3

The large holographic screen, diided into

many smaller parts is displaying amultitude of fast6paced scenes of different

people and happenings, from different

earthly times and places.

*n a confident and wise manner, the 0ld 0ne

enlarges one of the small screens, to play

it slower and isuali7e the details more

carefully. With concentrated thought, hefree7es all images and brings to focus a

small screen in which he sees a woman in

birth pains, struggling to bring a new life

into the world, another one with a soldier

charging into battle on a blood red muddy

field, a toddler feeling for the first

time in his life the $ealousy that comeswith a newborn sibling being

held by his mother, husband and wife

fighting oer insignificant things, a

military general declaring war, a miner

trapped under a heay beam gasping for his

last breath of air, the hangman preparing

the noose, geisha sering tea to the guests

in the most humble serile attitude, an old

man digging for a plant root in the

scorching sun, camp guard holding a rifle

and shouting at the newcomers, high priest

pointing to the net offering for the gods,

honorable $udge striking the hammer, an

ancient 8ueen weeping for her staring

people, street merchant selling sea food, apoor man hiding out in a ditch with a

stolen loaf of bred in his hands, a Tibetan

monk meditating, a fisherman returning to

his family with empty nets, *ndian woman



walking slowly towards the funeral pyre

where she will $oin her dead husband,

soldier thrusting his blade into the heart

of another while being cheered bythousands.

9rom the myriad of pictures, the screen

free7es on a young illager who $ust

witnessed the death of his bride at the

hands of inaders from foreign lands.

"#is $ourney has been a long one," says the

0ld 0ne to his newly arried companions inthe bright white light of the iewing

space.

"#e has gathered much eperience, and is

close to paying his dues," one of them says

in a 8uiet oice.

":es, he has learned humility and irtue,

through much work and hardship since The5orruption," the last one agrees with the

others while enlarging a scene with a man

in ragged clothes and a straw hat

collecting his day's worth of cotton

picking, thinking that he can finally feed

his two sons properly, at least for the

day.

A short moment of silent pondering is

interrupted by the 0ld 0ne bringing up on

the iewing screen an image of a small

child screaming in tears as his older

sister is taken away by men in uniform.

";ery trial has brought him closer in

many instances, he more than proed worthy

of our help.""*ndeed, great 0ld 0ne," replied the

second, we must keep in mind, though, that

it has become rather difficult to

interene."



The screen now shows a young man in a

library, nerously going through big,

yellowed out old books.

#e knows he is looking for something, hefeels he must find it, all his life drien

by an obsessie instinct to know it, but

his skeptical mind and the illusory

material day to day things are making it

difficult for us to brake through with

helping signs."

"#e carries a heay burden ofresponsibility. The decisions he makes from

now on can affect the lies of ery many,"

says the 0ld 0ne enlarging a picture with

an office building in which a meeting is

taking place.

"#is life is split between a successful

carrier and a continuous search forknowledge and answers," the 0ld 0ne adds as

they watch the man now entering a big

library with thousands of books on all

sides. #e searches and searches, with no

real target in his mind, while suddenly his

briefcase opens and all his documents fall

out at his feet. affled, he crouches to

gather the contents when his eyes fall on a

dusty and old looking book coer which he

picks up. The 0ld 0ne free7es the picture

and speaks with a sort of fatherly pride,

"there are few who will instantly recogni7e

this type of coincidences, and there are

few who will receie the message but we can

still use such inolement to aid someonein their deelopment," and they all return

to watch the scene. The author's name is

unfamiliar to him but the strong feeling of



familiarity and importance deters him to

pick it up and read it as soon as possible.

The holographic image switches to a close6

up of a beautiful woman with loing eyeswatching oer a large ancient settlement in

which people lie in complete harmony with

nature.

The 0ld 0ne turns his ga7e towards a much

younger soul that has $ust arried in the

iewing space, eneloping her in a shroud

of pure compassion and loing energy. (hereceies it with great $oy, as she knows

there is a great $ourney ahead that will

re8uire eery bit of it.

"This council was not called for many ages

and you know why we are gathered here," the

0ld 0ne's oice brakes the perfect silence

of the iewing space. "The great cycle iscoming to an end soon," he continues in a

powerful oice, "timing is of the essence."

"!uch work has been done and all paths lead

to this trial. !any are inoled. The order

must be restored," the second one adds.

"We hae reiewed for you a selection of

the most appropriate bodies, the most

suited for your musical character, your

energy patterns and for the choices you are

to make. The moment you will take control

of your earthly body, all will be set in

motion. +earn your cues well) We trust your

abilities and the amount of eperience you

hae amounted in all your trials. -ow you

must hae trust in yourself and remember,"the third one eplains. "We will be

watching closely and do our best to proide

help when needed," and saying this, the 0ld

0ne and his companions eit the iewing



space, leaing her facing the images that

now show, in each small picture, moments in

the life of different children from birth

to the first steps, the first words, thefirst day of school, the first real

heartache and the first tears of $oy.

+oing parents, close friends, distant

relaties and complete strangers, and

wheneer she recogni7es among all those

people, souls from her group, a faint smile

comes to her lips for she knows she won<tbe alone, eer, on her mission and as the

images become blurry she understands the

screen can show her only so much of the yet

unwritten future, she knows that the

smallest decision on earth can hae

unimaginable comple ramifications,

diiding reality in a multitude of possibleoutcomes and time lines. (he knows she will

need to recogni7e the cues set by the wise

ones, that will lead her to that so longed

for moment that now seems so far away, when

many will be set free, the fates will een

and all will be right again.



1

They dismount their 9lyer in the middle of

a sunny meadow coered in flowers and berrybushes, and the young couple teases each

other running and hiding in the thick green

grass. =retending he doesn't see her, he

approaches the bush that barely coers her,

with small steps, whispering, "* wonder

where you are," loud enough so she can hear

him, and she bursts out in laughter $umpinghim, tumbling to the ground in a loing

embrace.

"*t's so beautiful out here, * like it so

much," she says with a wide, happy smile.

"* hope ;wra won't be furious with me for

skipping harp lessons today, * promised her

* will practice twice as much until nettime."

"Don't worry about it, *'m sure you'll get

less trouble than * will from my teacher at

the temple," he replies and both agree

without words.

"(uch a beautiful day, * feel so good *

can hardly wait for our celebration (o

many people will be there, all our friends

and teachers."

"!e too, although * am a bit nerous, can't

yet imagine myself all dressed up like that

and keeping a straight face, why, that will

be the hardest part for me," he says in his

usual prankster manner, she has gotten so

used to."* will make faces at you, to make you

laugh all through the ceremony," she

threatens him.

"#ey) :ou want to go see it%"



"What, now% ut you'e seen it a thousand

times)"

"5ome on, it will be fun)" he grins,

pulling her up, swiftly.The 9lyer takes to the air, climbing

8uickly through the warm sky, with a soft

swooshing sound. They look back and marel

at the endless city buildings with their

tips reaching far into the clouds, the

garden domes in which they take eening

walks and the sparkling a8ueducts thatdiide the city into round, e8ual

districts.

"What a wonderful iew," she tells him in a

raised oice, but he is too anious to look

back.

"#old on)" he replies, while accelerating

and doing some hard turns aboe thebeautiful landscape.

":ou can let go now, * need to breathe, you

know," he says $okingly, "we're here)"

"Wow) * forgot how intimidating it looks,"

she says while releasing the tight grip, "*

always get the chills when *'m this close

to it."

"*t truly is marelous) * could stare at it

for hours. #ow * wish * could meet the ones

who built it. * wish * could hae been

there."

":es, well, for that you would need a time

machine", she grunts, with a touch of eny

for loosing his attention.

"5ome on, don't be like that," remediatingthe moment fast, he continues, "can you

een imagine how people lied before it%

(urely, they had hard lies and not much

freedom, to do as they pleased."



"Well actually yes, * can imagine, we hae

the archies for that, silly, eeryone

knows," she strengthens her point, but in a

softer oice due to his arms around herwaist.

"*t $ust feels unfair to me, knowing how

much it gies us, that people take it for

granted and don't really pay much attention

to it, anymore."

"What would you hae them do, worship it

with burnt offerings like the saages inour distant past did with cared statues%

We should get back, check on my eperiments

and maybe isit that new garden dome that

opened up. :ou know the one with those

eotic flowers * helped bring back to life

from thousands of years ago%" (he boasts

with fake anger.":es, yes, * know all about that, * didn't

forget, and no, * don't consider your work

as a researcher a waste o time, as your

ironic tone might imply."

!aking the most of his words, that $ust won

him a few more minutes, he turns to face

the great machine once more and speak with

wonder and reerie as only to himself, "*

could swear it has a mind of its own,

sometimes * een think * feel it, trying to

reach me, to communicate"

#e is now inside it, facing the core

chamber in which its heart sits. #is body

is shaking with the rhythmic pulsations of

the crystal's energy beam directed upwardtoward the pyramid's top in a low fre8uency

hum. #e feels raw energy running through

his eins, isions of past times, strange

people in places unknown to him, "*t's so



powerful)" he shouts, clenched fists

upward, "so powerful)"



4

rad $umps out of bed, coered in sweat,

$ust as the phone rings and startles himeen more. With a slight headache from the

abrupt awakening he reaches for the phone

while with the corner of his eyes he

catches a glimpse of the figure "three" on

the wall mounted electronic clock.

"This better be important)" he grunts with

a guttural oice."* am sorry to wake you at this our, but

you said anytime."

"What% Anytime what% What are you talking

about%"

"We hae alignment, rad, as of thirty

minutes, now. *t's been running a stable

energy output, finally)" the ecited oiceat the other end almost screams.

"5alm down, for >od sakes... stable

output..." he mumbles.

"rad, you hae to see this)" the oice

insists.

"Wait... stable output%" he asks recoering

from his da7e, "Don't touch anything, *

will be right there," slamming the phone

and hurtling toward his pants and shirt.

The cold night air wakes him up almost

completely while he speeds up towards the

laboratory with so many thoughts rushing

through his mind, he misses a red light and

almost crashes the barrier at the entrance

into the comple.Arriing inside, his best friend greets him

with an enormous smile, "pull out the

champagne, rad, *t<s time to celebrate, we

did it)"



"(low down, Tim, let's not do the ictory

dance $ust yet, een if we hae stable

output, we hae no guarantee yet. We can't

know for sure until more tests," rad cutsof his best friend's briskness, while

getting a white coat from the hanger,

"let's see what we'e got)"

"Always the cautious one. !an, you can sure

ruin somebody's mood)" Tim laughs, and beats

him on the shoulder in a 'good old friend'

manner.rad swipes his key6card at the big secured

doors and enters the antechamber of the

reactor. #e logs in the system and pulls up

on the giant screen, some statistics and

charts of the up6time and power output.

"*t's stable, alright," rad whispers,

still not ready to light up his cigar.";fficiency is at ?@ and rising. -o

anomalous spikes no drainage. What about

residuals, any radiation of any kind%" #e

asks, still reluctant to $ump to

conclusions.

"-one, whatsoeer," Tim replies in a

childish proud manner, leaning against a

desk with his arms crossed and eyebrows

raised oer his glasses.

rad still calm, pulling up graphs and

typing carefully slow, as if not to disturb

or $in anything in the laboratory and

eamining long rows of numbers between

8uick glances at his long time companion in

heretical ideas."5ome on, man, don't you see what this

means%" Tim implores for acknowledgment.

"The amount of energy we're feeding into

the system is insignificant compared to the



output. We hae $ust changed half of the

physics books out there) There is

absolutely nothing the nay sayers can throw

at us now, and once again it has beenproed that all the accepted models of

reality are only temporary and sub$ect to

sudden change by open minded people. True,

all great ideas are first laughed at,

ridiculed and condemned but eentually they

are accepted, there is no other choice.

*t's a beautiful natural order, you $usthae to look closely and see the pattern,

all throughout history."

"#ey)" rad stops him with an ironic grin.

:ou sound a bit like a creationist there,

*'m sure it's all the lab fatigue you'e

been amounting lately, which reminds me,

you'e been pulling a lot of oertime inthe past months. Too much actually to

sustain a healthy state of mind, why are

you not sleeping right now%"

ut before Tim could return a reply, rad

$umps out of his chair and hugs his friend

so hard he can barely breathe, saying, "We

did it, man) We really did it)" and laughs

like a madman.

"This is huge) 0nly warp drie will make

this one fade) * can't beliee it) All the

mockery we hae endured from the scientific

community, all the sleepless nights and

shattered neres finally paying off."

"Thank you) 9inally, you're awake," Tim

blurts out while cleaning his glasses witha microfiber cloth he always caries in this

lab coat pocket.

"* must admit, * had my doubts, especially

after all those failed trial runs man, at



one time * een wanted to gie it all up,

rad reminisces while facing the brightly

glowing reactor core. “+ook at it, a basket

ball si7ed sphere of electromagneticallyleitated crystalline matter. An

artificially grown and enhanced colony of

Brustallon, tapping into the infinite

energies of the unierse. The ancients knew

it, and they showed it to us in so many

places (acred geometry eerywhere so

obious the flower of life staring us inour ignorant faces."

"=lease don't be so ague and

unscientific) *s that what you will say to

all the physics $ournals that will

interiew you% :ou can at least eplain how

we managed the 8uantum rearrangement of the

structure of 8uasi crystals to obtain the!etacrystals you're watching right now. 0r

how we redesigned the ;@ groups%"

rad smiles, "We wasted so much time, so

much precious time, we could hae been so

far by now, if only man was not so busy

s8uabbling oer imaginary lines on a map

and irreleant concepts, impulsie and

disconnected from eerything that really

matters, powerless in the face of the

smallest command issued by the oldest part

of our brain. What blind fools we hae

been, slaughtering ourseles by the

millions and persecuting eeryone that was

foolish enough to share a paradigm shifting

idea. Think of all the great minds ofhistory, what they had to struggle with.

#ow many ;insteins and -ewtons hae

perished in the madness of war before they

eer got a chance to make their



contribution to the world% *f war efforts

and all kinds of meaningless bickering

would be dierted to research for a better

human eistence, then maybe, we wouldn'thae to beg indifferent and shallow rich

people for funding eperiments, with the

risk of your work to be patented by a

corporation that will lock it up in a dark,

cold chamber where it will neer see the

light of day again, $ust because it seres

the corporate agenda. (uch a waste such aterrible waste,/ rad concludes with his

head lowered.

As rad finished pouring out his thoughts,

Tim consoles him with a pat on the back,

":es, * know eactly what you mean, * share

your sorrow, friend, but without those

shallow and arrogant old men you would bein the basement of some faculty campus

working on your fringe pro$ects and

building particle accelerators with parts

bought out of yard sales from a modest

teacher salary. This here, is eactly why

you, why we hae worked so hard all this

time, that is why we are here, to help

brake this curse. *magine a world without

hunger and poerty, a world where no one

must stare because there is more than

plenty for eeryone, enough clothes and

enough shelter, from the newborn in the

slums of *ndia to the richest man in the

world, all could lie like kings, not one

man ecluded, adantaging all withoutdisadantaging any, like good old ucky

used to say.



"(ometimes * feel like you can read my

mind", rad smiles at his colleague in the

ha7iness of the early morning ours.

":ou make it pretty easy, being the leasthypocritical person * know."

rad laughs, “that is a great compliment

coming from you, and * shall treasure it

accordingly./

">etting back to our sub$ect," Tim

continues on a serious note, "you must

remember you cannot lie for eerybody.(top torturing yourself with things that

could hae been, you hae already done much

more than you reali7e, * can assure you of

that. Think back when people started

burning dead plants for energy. The net

step was splitting the atom to boil water.

* still can't help getting amused and sadat the same time thinking of that. They now

had an atomic steam engine instead of a

coal steam engine. And we all know what

that is doing to our poor, space floating

marble. We are no longer talking about an

ultra efficient cheap power source here.

This is that giant step that eentually had

to occur, it cannot be stopped by all the

skeptics and debunkers of the world put

together. We are talking about free,

unlimited, nonpolluting energy for

eeryone, foreer) 9ree energy means free

transport, free transport means irtually

free food. -o need for a meter on the wall

anymore) 9ree food for eeryone meansfreedom to do as you please, slouch all day

on the beach or make maimum use of the

most comple structure in the known

unierse, the human brain, and adance



science and art beyond anything we can

imagine now or roam free through the galay

and eplore the deepest spaces possible)

":es, says rad in a low tone, eyes lockedon the ground, "no meters"

"=lease contain your enthusiasm. Jesus) 0B

* know, we're not there $ust yet but it can

be done) y god, it can and should be done

as soon as possible)"

":ou're a good man, Tim,/ rad compliments

him, sighing and showing sings of fatigue.“We can't get enough good men these days."

"*s there something you're not telling me%

Why do * sense you're oer thinking your

words again%"

":ou know me, always triple checking

eerything, but maybe it really is $ust a

healthy dose of a scientist's paranoia. *nany case, * need you to do me a faor. *n a

couple of hours this place will be swarming

with lab coats and thick eye glassed nerds,

doing their data crunching and binary

talking."

"Whoa there buddy, you're being a bit

unsympathetic to your own kind, there,

don't you think%" Tim tries to look

offended but is betrayed by the trace of a

smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

"Alright, funny man, spit it out, what's on

your mind%"

"* need you to keep a low profile with this

whole thing, you know, $ust don't brag

about it to anyone, especially to the pressor the suits. At least, not yet. e as

professional and resered as possible with

eeryone. =lease% 9or me."



":ou got it, chief) * wouldn't want to

brake my confidentiality contract in any

way, of course. ut the suits upstairs are

going to want a full report, first thing inthe morning. -ot a patient bunch, those

wrinkled li7ards, and without results,

pro$ects get scrapped, you know how it is."

"0nly too well, my friend. Don't worry,

*'ll take care of that. Just let eeryone

know we need more time to recheck all

systems and run more tests. Trust me onthis one."

"0B, not a problem, you're the supreme

commander of all us lab monkeys around

here, anyway,/ Tim salutes his colleague in

a military manner, knocking his heals

together and laughing copiously.

"Well, you're the best monkey * hae, sowhy don't you run along and get some sleep,

* don't want you burning out on me, not

now. *t's fie fifty fie A!, if * so much

as sense your presence around here for the

net eight hours *'ll hae you clean all

the keyboards in the building."

"Cnderstood, but it will be hard to catch a

shut eye with all the adrenaline rushing

through my system right now. And what about

you%"

"#ey, * was asleep when you called me,

remember%"

"As usual, it's impossible to argue with

you, $ust please call me if anything

happens.""Will do, friend, will do." rad assures

him in a warm oice, and turns to his

computer.



#e is now alone and only the low, barelyperceptible hum of the reactor brakes

through the silence of the laboratory. #e

turns in his chair to hae another look at

the platform in the ery front of the large

hangar like room where it sits, a possible

answer to so many problems facing the

world, he thinks, eyes set on the core.*t's hypnoti7ing and he cannot turn his

ga7e away from it, he keeps staring and in

his mind, like a film, iid images start

to shuffle, some clear, others ha7y, images

of people smiling and re$oicing, large

gatherings, masses of people, all dressed

in white, beautiful women with flowers intheir hair& he sees ery tall buildings, a

swarm of flying ehicles among them,

circular water canals, a world war two

fighter plane chase, children crying, a

wall of angry people shouting and waing

their hands, all pointing to him and in the

middle of them he sees the most beautiful

woman, glowing with a bright aura around

her that separates her from the others. (he

seems so familiar, but $ust can't recogni7e

her, she is crying, her eyes are filled

with heay tears, he tries to make out what

she's saying but the noise of the crowd is

$ust too strong. They are demanding things,

they want to $udge him, so much pressure,he tries to block them, to concentrate on

the woman. #e can see her mouth moing,

shouting, reaching for him, and in an

instant the mob disappears. All is



perfectly still and 8uiet, they are now

ery close to each other. #er right hand

touches his shoulder as she whispers to

him, "Eemember)""Doc, you 0B%" -orbert asks, with a hand on

rad<s shoulder.

"Jesus) :ou scared the liing daylights out

of me)/ rad shouts with a horrified face,

$umping out of his chair.

"Daylights, ah, yes, ery appropriate,

doctor, because it's morning.""* wasn't making a $oke, -orbert, you

really startled me, back there. :ou

shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

"*'m sorry, Doc, * thought you were asleep

or something. Thought * might wake you up,

go home to a real bed."

"*'m fine, don't worry about me. :ou're alittle early today, aren't you% What gies%

The new toys you'e been asking for,

upstairs, arried already%"

"-o it's $ust that * couldn't sleep and

there's this code *'e been working on and

* was stuck on the main algorithms, but *

got some ideas yeah * got some ideas

now," the short, slightly oerweight man

mumbles and rearranges his glasses on his

big round nose.

"Any progress with your generator, there,

Doc%" -orbert tries to break the

uncomfortable silence, gesturing with his

head towards the platform.

":ou mean the reactor"":es, yes, the reactor," he interrupts,

still with his eyes locked in the same

direction.



"Well, actually, yes, ah we're positie we

are closer now than eer to that physics

book rewriting discoery, you know."

">reat, that's good news, yes" he replies,still staring. "*t sure looks nice, yes

sir, * am sure you are treating it right.

>iing it the respect it re8uires, like any

machine, you know cause you can definitely

influence the e8uipment around you, on a

8uantum leel, you know and brake it

yes." #e tries to pretend he can performade8uately in a social situation, but

minute perspiration starts to glow under

the neon light of the laboratory.

":eah, it's * mean, she's our baby. We

know her ery well and respect um her,"

the tired physicist continues a bit

embarrassed."Well if you eer run into some kind of

trouble, don't hesitate to ask, yes, the *T

department does more than $ust remoing

iruses from workstations and fiing paper

$ammed printers, you know," he giggles,

rearranging his glasses again. ":es, you

can count on us anytime."

"* will definitely keep that in mind,

-orbert, oh, and please, you hae to gie

me another tour of the data center when you

finish installing those new storage

networks, always curious about technology,

you know," rad throws the last words he

could possibly gather in the awkwardness of

the encounter $ust as the stubby fellowheads for the eit.

"0h, so you know about that", he turns with

a face filled with the first unforced

smile, like someone who secretly longs for



more things to hae in common with his

peers, ":es, the new toys we're epecting,

yes" nodding widely. (ee you around, Doc)"

#e salutes and 8uickens the pace happily tobe on his way to the morning inspection

stroll through the serer room.

"(ee you around, -orbert,/ #e salutes back

thinking what odd people the *T department

people are, surely misunderstood but

neertheless odd and neer easy to hae a

conersation with.As he sits back down in his chair, and rubs

his face in his palms and he stops to check

out his blurry reflection in the computer

screen. *t lights up with a ding, informing

him of one new email message in his inbo

with the sub$ect 'remember' written in

capital letters and three eclamationpoints. #e suddenly recalls the face of the

woman, calling out to him, iid flash6

backs of his ision. -o) -ot a ision. Just

my tired mind acting up on me, the results

of an oeracting imagination and not enough

E;! sleep," he thinks to himself, trying to

calm down and lock it all up somewhere deep

in the back of his head, along with all the

other cra7y ideas and long forgotten

thoughts.

"*f you eer need anything, anything at

all, you know where to find me." The email

from -orbert reads.

"0dd people, indeed," he thinks aloud.



F

With his right hand lifted up, fingersspread widely, the tall man turns to face

the country house and speaks softly. #is

large shirt, with multicolored flowers is

battered by the warm bree7e of the eening.

9rom the distance, rad tries to make up

his features but apart from an oerwhelming

feeling of familiarity, he cannot bring outanything from his memory.

rad hurries his pace, intrigued by the

man's behaior but by the time he reaches

the front of the house the awkward stranger

disappears around the corner. #e stops the

pursuit, baffled and irritated and heads

towards the door. #e enters to find hismother in bed, with candles lit all around

her, the gray haired old woman smiling at

him, "!y little genius, come, gie your

aching mother a hug."

"#ello, mother," he replies still trying to

figure out what $ust happened.

"There was this tall man doing something

right outside your house, mother, do you

know him% What did he want%"

"Always 8uestions, 8uestions, 8uestions

with you, why can't you eer take things

for granted $ust as the unierse presents

them to you%" (he says on a playful tone,

emphasi7ing the word 'unierse'.

"* see what you did $ust there, using'unierse' instead of '>od' and *

appreciate it but you don't hae to go out

of your way to make me comfortable and

all."



"Why is it so hard to beliee there's a

higher power out there that we can't

comprehend, watching oer us, sending us

hints that most are too blind toacknowledge%"

"!om, we hae this discussion eery time,

you know my thoughts on the matter, $ust

accept them $ust like * accept yours een

if * don't agree with them," he says trying

to aoid the escalation of the sub$ect.

“:ou know * $ust cannot deal with the lackof hard facts repeatable eperiments

proide that, * can't $ust take anyone's

word for it, * can't. 9aith doesn't cut it

for me."

":es, the all skeptical mind. * heard these

words only too many times ut it's 0B, my

dear, *'m sure you'll see it all, someday.The enormous beauty of it and how lucky we

are to be allowed into this wonderful game

of life."

":ou're right about my mind being all

skeptical, and in no way do * try to ecuse

myself for that. The world would be a ery

different place if more people would share

this wonderful trait. :ou know, not

accepting eerything so easily, so often

without the least effort to inestigate%"

"*f eerybody would be like that, the whole

world would be a giant 8uestion mark. There

would be no $oy in our lies, always

depressed and dead inside." (he replies a

bit annoyed. "And sorry * forgot we're alla bunch of ignorant primates, stumbling

about on our daily mindless s8uabbles in

the complete chaos and indifferent chance



that is the unierse. -o purpose, no real

meaning to anything."

"Well that's a bit harsh, don't you think%/

#e asks smiling and coninced he will closethe argument soon, with a triumphant

ictory. “ut you said it, not me."

"(marty pants, don't forget where you got

those wits from. :es, this little old

sickly lady."

"0ld% 5ome on, mother, you don't look a day

oer forty nine)" #e compliments her whilecaressing her wrinkled hand.

(he smiles and looks into his eyes with a

melancholic epression, "(uch a charmer,

and yet still alone, unmarried and no

grandsons for me to walk through the park."

"Again with this% !aybe because * $ust

haen't found the right woman yet.""0r maybe because you're not een looking

for one, all cooked up in that sterile

hangar, trying to improe people's lies

with your work while completely neglecting

yours."

"*t's not a hangar, it is a laboratory,

mother, and *'ll hae you know we're

actually on the brink of something huge)

(omething that will completely change the

world we lie in,/ #e said, a little

embarrassed for being treated like a child.

"* know, * know * don't think of your work

as meaningless, it's $ust that * want you

to be happy. To see how there is more to

life than $ust science. (o many wonderfulthings that you will not find in your books

and computers. * admire your passion and *

knew you were far from aerage since the

day you were born. * knew you had so much



to offer the world from the time you were

burning all the fuses in the house with

your basement eperiments. -ine year old

children play with baseballs& you playedwith electricity and giant transformers."

"#appiness what is happiness, mother% Who

is happy% * certainly don't know anyone. *

don't really think such a thing een

eists. *t's $ust another word, trapping

us, keeping us slaes to interpretation we

are slaes to semantics. We depend far toomuch on the dictionary meaning of things.

*t's like we're trying to communicate what

we see in a photograph with only one word.

That is how limited * think we are. The

words we use, our language, is what holds

us from truly eoling, becoming free of

most of our fears, and they are stopping usfrom resoling the most seere issues we

currently face. #appiness in intelligent

people is the rarest thing * know."

"Guoting #emingway won't get you off the

hook, mister)" (he interrupts him from his

monologue. We are gregarious creatures, we

cannot lie in isolation. All kinds of

mental and physical problems arise from not

being around people, we need to belong, to

be acknowledged and share our hopes and

dreams. Did you know that people with a

strong sense of belonging to a community

hae the lowest risk for heart disease%"

":eah that makes sense, * guess," #e

replies with an ironic oertone."(o it's true youth really is wasted on

the young."

"5ome on, mother, * didn't mean to upset

you it's $ust that * hae a lot on my mind



lately why don't you tell me what's with

all these candles and that weird music%"

":ou scientists are all the same. When will

you reali7e that you are approaching it allwrong% Doing all you can to be at a safe

distance from what you cannot measure and

8uantify, what you call alternatie. And

you een persecute your own what's the

name of that fellow that was afraid to

publish his findings for two years for fear

of ridicule from his own peers and when hefinally did they gae him something called

the -obel pri7e% * know what you will say,

that all predictions fail, but remember

this, the day will come when eery one will

reali7e, science and spirituality go hand

in hand and that is when the real progress

will start. !oreoer, * will hae you know,the candles really help me rela and the

music makes meditation a lot easier, it's

true, it really does. ecause eerything

around us is ibration. *t's a wonderful

symphony of the unierse. ut you couldn't

hear it, not in your present condition,

mister scientist," she says trying to look

sad.

"Well, it has been proen that certain

fre8uencies will aid the brain in

meditation and to achiee altered states of

consciousness, for eample haing each ear

listen to specifically designed, different

fre8uencies at the same time will fool the

brain in registering a completely differentsound that can allegedly manipulate the

brainwaes, taking you through different

stages, een synchroni7ing the hemispheres.

0ne can influence the brainwae actiity in



such a manner as to get to the desired

state, from the eta waes of being

concentrated and alert to the dreamless

sleep state associated with the Deltabrainwaes. Hery helpful for treating

insomnia. They say ;instein was able to

sync both hemispheres at will, thus

thinking with his entire brain."

"Did you really hae to put it so boringly

technical% * suppose that is what happens

ut one thing is clear to me unfortunately:ou're definitely afraid of using more than

your left brain, it all comes down to logic

and problem soling, eerything structured

and ranked. Authoritatie and dominating.

The perfect traits for a miserable blood

shedding, iolent repressie society. Do

you know there are some Ama7onian tribesorgani7ed in an e8ual men6woman partnership

that do not hae in their ocabulary any

words for 'war'% *t is beyond their

understanding. *t is hard for them to

comprehend such a concept. (oon to be

etinct, no worries. All of them due to

ecessie deforestation. They lie in

harmony because they hae reached a

balance. An e8uilibrium between the two

brains. The left 'male' brain working with

the right 'female' brain that needs no

hierarchy, it uses hunches and instincts to

sole problems, spontaneous and fluid it

deals with similarities instead of

differences. That is why * don't agree withneither a patriarchal nor a matriarchal

society. The e8ual partnership between

them, that is the answer. That is what will

bring peace to the world. 0ne must neer



fall into etremes they are icious

creatures that will deour you. #oweer,

that, my dear, may take many lifetimes to

reach... Who knows how many times we repeatthe same mistakes how many times we come

back to the same things without learning

our lessons%“

"+ooks like *'m not the only one who can

get too technical at times. 0h, mother

your students must hae had some hard times

with you," he says smiling. * cannot decidewhich one is worse, being in one of your

classes or being your son. ut * know you

are right about eerything you $ust said

and * will always appreciate eery single

adice you gae me. :ou should lecture to

presidents and politicians."

":es. That would be well wasted time. Theyfall asleep on their own in their meetings

they don't need me," she laughs heartily."

>etting out of bed she walks to a wall

filled with photographs and her eyes stop

on a small framed old photo of a happy

young couple with a baby boy in their

arms." * wish your father was here, so we

can share these moments together."

"!other, please)" he said in hope of

stopping her train of thought. "* can see

where this is going."

"* know you always aoid talking about him

ut you'e kept the hurt in you for a lot

longer than needed. *t is time to let it

go, my son. 0therwise, it will eat you fromthe inside. * learned that rather late,

unfortunately. ut you know how they say,

better late than neer. #ate is poisonous

for the soul, and it gets stronger and



stronger as you hold it in. *f you choose

to hate, than that is what the world will

reflect back at you. -egatie thoughts will

create and attract more negatie thoughts.*t's a circle that feeds on itself and

grows continuously. Don't let it get the

best of you) 9orgieness is the attribute

of the strong and the final form of loe.

*'m not eactly sure who * $ust 8uoted now,

but you can be sure he was ery smart. 0r

maybe that's actually two 8uotes $umbled upin one sentence. Age and neuron connections

are not the best of friends, * guess.

-eertheless, ery smart people. The moment

you will forgie him a most terrible

burden will lift itself off your soul. :ou

cannot imagine the immense freedom you will

eperience when you will finally let go ofso much pain.

":eah, ecept that is a lot more difficult

to actually do than to speak about it. What

would happen if eeryone decided to $ust

split wheneer things got rough% =eople

can't $ust 8uit their responsibilities like

that. They can't)"

"Darling, * know how hard it was for you,

especially when growing up but why waste

precious energy with the past% *t's gone

and it's neer coming back) :ou must

understand there is a reason for absolutely

eerything that happens in this world. -o,

* cannot gie it to you know, * don't know

why he did what he did, but somehow * feelit was for a reason. ;en the bad things

that happen to us, *'m sure it's all for

the best. >od the unierse, conspires for



our well6being at eery step. We $ust can't

figure it all out, it's $ust too comple.

"We don't een know if he's still alie)"

#e shouts and sits down on the bed buryinghis face in his palms, whit a heay sigh.

"*t's $ust too difficult. * tried * tried

to not think of him as a coward, but *

can't. * can't do it, mother. 5an't pretend

all is good. The hardest person to lie to

is yourself, you know that. When you manage

it you will be happy)" #e says in a calmeroice. "That is how people get to a state

of happiness. They lie to themseles and

beliee it one hundred percent. Anything

less and it's gone. :our whole sham

collapses on your head. And please don't

talk to me about >od and well6being. A god

that uses pain for a teaching tool is soery far from the all loing perfection

that eeryone talks about. A more likely

eplanation for all the eils that happens

is simply that the unierse does not care

about anything. *t $ust is. A huge

conglomerate of randomness that we choose

to interpret as good or bad, right or

wrong. (imply put, complete chaos from

witch our brains struggle to find meaning,

patterns and organi7ation.

"ut maybe this is the only way for us to

reach #im," she says with a gentle oice,

"the fastest way being to eperience pain

$ust as #e did."

"Well in that case, considering the amountof pain * would say we're on the right

path, then)" he waes his arms aboe his

head with a hint of despair.



And you speak about something taking many

lies to master. #ae you any solid proof

that human consciousness is not the mere

result of the chemical actions inside ourbrains% Any proof that when the brain dies,

our eistence continues% -othingness,

obliion, $ust total black6out. !uch like

when you pass out. -o awareness of any

kind. * beliee that when people will come

to accept this fact, life will be treasured

accordingly and less time will be spent onutterly pointless things. (ure it's a nice

thought to wake up too, but * see it as

fake comfort. We shouldn't need this

immortal soul idea to be good humans. We

should not use it as an ecuse either.

;n$oy the time while you're here to learn

as much as you can and lie the best lifepossible while not harming others. (imple."

"ut at the same time surely you can

appreciate the difficulty of one liing

without this, let's say, hope. +iing

without a purpose. That is something the

human condition $ust cannot oercome. And

no no proof from the point of iew of

science, otherwise, uneplained phenomena

as you tend to refer to it are documented

by the thousands eerywhere in the world.

:oung children remembering details from

their past life that they couldn't possibly

known about in any other way >hosts,

poltergeists, psychics with all sorts of

abilities, out of body eperiences and somany more eamples "

"!ost of them are proen to be fakes,

mother. :ou know how people go out of their

way to be known, famous and acknowledged,



$ust to satisfy their anity and waste

other people's time."

"And what about the cases that no one can

disproe% 9or those that absolutely no onecan eplain how they did it. *n etremely

rigorous and controlled conditions,

obsered by tens of people from different

areas of epertise."

"-ot eplained yet, mother, not eplained

yet." #e says ery confident.

"(kepticism is healthy most of the time butyou sure make it annoying)" she says,

shaking her head and pauses to regain some

patience.

"!y dear boy, you don't isit me often but

when you do, we sure make up for the lost

time with our discussions. * en$oy them

ery much. Hery stimulating for my rustymind. And if we should agree about

eerything, then it would surely get ery

boring. Thank you for taking this time to

be here. *t means a lot to me. =lease know

* am ery proud of you and eerything you

hae accomplished and * loe you dearly)

=romise me you will listen to your heart

and trust your inner feelings, een if they

sound cra7y sometimes, but listen to them,

that is your soul speaking to you and mine

and the souls of eeryone you hae eer

known. The unierse is a unity beyond words

that most of us do not see. Always know the

mediator between hands and mind must be the

heart."":ou sound like we're neer going to see

each other again"

"-eer is a long time * don't think it

will be that long," she says with a loing



smile. “The most incredible and unlikely

things happen, een if it takes longer than

the life of the unierse)"

"(poken like a true physicist) There ishope $ust yet," he smiles at her.

":es eating my way through books like a

worm half of my life and hiding away from

the real world in libraries most likely did

that to me. :ou know what's the worst thing

a parent can see his children doing% The

same mistakes" she says lowering her head."Don't worry about that. * hae so little

time for reading now that * reduced this

actiity to three, maybe four hours he

says with a straight face. “=er day)" adds

with a huge grin.

"0h, rad The time when you'll hae the

same discussion with your children might becloser than you think, and then you shall

understand my grief."

"This is what * feel right now * need to

know *t's like a hunger that you $ust

can't abate no matter how much you eat.

This is what * need to do now. * am too

close to the breakthrough for which *

worked all my life. * can't allow myself to

fail because of some small detail *

missed"

"*n some old man driels from a dusty

forgotten out of print book%/ (he asks.

"=recisely there) * can see from this

discussion that old people hae much to

share, and if the ones that left theirthoughts in books are half the person you

are now than it was worth it, all that time

spent reading)"



":ou could always talk your way out of a

tight corner, young man. The hermit

charmer it's a shame a damn shame."

"* hae tons of colleagues at work,especially females, how does that make me a

hermit%"

"Do any of them cook you breakfast in the

morning or kiss you goodnight%"

"Well"

"The you are e hermit, case closed." (he

pretends to be ery upset and looks away ina childish manner.

"* will admit though, and *'m sure you'll

en$oy hearing this the books that * got

the most insight out of and the most

aluable information from hae kind of

fell into my lap. :ou know% Just stumbled

on them by mistake.""!istake, of course. A good word for

dismissing something like this. 5an also be

replaced by coincidence or sometimes

synchronicity. Absolutely nothing to do

with the whole unierse conspiring to help

you, responding to you thoughts and

desires. Arranging things so that you can

follow the path you choose. That is eactly

what prayer is nothing but concentrated

thought. That is where incredible power

lies, our thoughts, we influence eerything

around us and don't een reali7e it. Do you

know that if een as less as one percent of

the people of a city gather up and pray for

a few hours a day, crime rates dropsignificantly% Just by sending out

concentrated thought."

"=rayer groups that certainly is one way

to spend time an ecuse to sociali7e *



guess The trouble as * see it, is that

they only pray and do nothing else to

actually help lower the crime rates, could

prayer be $ust another form of aoidingresponsibility and feeling good about it%

0r do the crime rates go down because they

were inside, praying, and thus aoiding

getting mugged or killed somewhere

outside%"

"These discussions stimulate the few la7y

neurons * hae left, but they can surebring out that common emotional response to

opposition 9rustration)" (he says while

gesturing her hands in a demanding manner.

"=lease, there is no need to get upset,

that's not good for you, and you said it

yourself."

"*'m calm, *'m calm but you always hae ananswer to eerything * say. Always an

eplanation or some kind of theory."

"*t is better to debate a 8uestion without

settling it than to settle a 8uestion

without debating it." #e responds smiling,

delighted to hae won another small

ictory.

":es, you're too proud to leae anything

unsettled. eware the treacherous feeling

of pride. *t can keep you too busy looking

down on things, while missing what's

aboe."

"* don't know if pride is the word * would

use maybe stubbornness% 0r perfectionism%

#ow about""#ow about oer thinking% (he interrupts.

Always oer analy7ing eerything. Analysis

paralysis, * beliee is the technical term.



(ounds about right to me What do you

think%"

"* think you might be right on the money

with this one. 0ccam's ra7or was neersharp enough for me... * prefer shaing

with the best blades possible."

":es, the type that cut deep" (he said,

almost with a resigned oice.

"*'m sorry, mother, * reali7e * can be

difficult at times" he apologi7es with a

sigh."At times% :ou mean at all times, do you

not% :ou were born difficult. Bnowing this,

it's easy to see why you're still alone

The amount of patience re8uired to deal

with you on a daily basis is astronomical.

And if there really is someone like that

out there for you she will hae her handsfull. * would hae definitely liked to meet

such a brae soul."

"And you will) There's still time," #e

tries to show more optimism.

":ou could sure use more of that more

positie thinking. The lack of it has

certainly kept you back, plenty of times,

too."

"And it's not $ust you. A simple smile can

affect countless lies. *t brings people

closer and is a tiny bit of happiness. 0ne

simple smile, to some girl you walk by on

the street, can spread to all the people

she meets later in the day. (he tells her

friends at work and those friends telltheir friends about the stranger that

smiled, and they talk about it smiling and

sending more positie thoughts. *t's

contagious and it can make a world of



difference. *f you could $ust take that

one6second break, from your compulsie

rumination and change the cold appearance

of your face to a smile. That's all ittakes."

"* guess that makes sense but what if the

eact opposite happens and my smile is

interpreted wrongly harassment, stalking,

maybe% #ow will that affect eeryone%"

"This cautious nature of yours can easily

degenerate into paranoia, you know And ifyou keep putting the worst in front, if you

keep thinking about it, the more chances to

actually attract it and make it manifest.

Thought creates, remember. :ou cannot fear

eerything out there. *t will keep you weak

and powerless."

(he takes a deep breath and speaks with newfound strength while staring into his eyes,

"you use your mind as a fortress the last

resort, the last defense against all kinds

of made up dangers. :ou try to shield

yourself from hurt and pain and any

possible attack from the outside world so

bad that you hae come to deny it almost

completely. Cnfortunately, it works both

ways. :ou not only preent anything

breaching it, but also nothing eer escapes

its walls. :ou hae been this way eer

since your father left us. :ou shut in

allowed access only to a handful of

priileged ones, and those too limited by

strict rules. When outside, you hide behindyour intelligence and use sarcasm to keep

people at a safe distance."

"Wow)" * neer thought of it this way

before, he says resigned. * think * $ust



heard the best character analysis * could

hope for. 9or free, at least. * can't but

agree with you on this one. ut who isn't

haunted by childhood traumas, mother, whoisn't damaged in at least some small way%"

":es, but those damages what if they are

eactly the lessons we need to learn in

order to adance to grow%"

"* don't know it's hard for me to see it

like that. The most important conditioning

in humans takes place at an age that doesnot allow any kind of choice or enough

reason to understand or fight. 5onsidering

it's for life, then not much fairness out

there, wouldn't you say%"

":ou're better than your conditioning, that

is the point *'m trying to make. When

you'll be oer it the first thing to cometo your mind will be why did * carry this

heay burden for so long%"

"* hope you're right * really do."

":ou know *'m right, you know it deep down

in that place from where you get the

occasional hunch that you 8uickly smother

away."

"(ome get to lie sometimes," he says with

an amused oice, trying to aoid a direct

answer.

":ou hae a choice, you always hae a

choice, you can make it better or you can

make it worse, you alone by your own free

will."

"9ree will% * don't know about that one.!other, from my eperience until now *

would conclude eactly the opposite is

going on. *t is so hard for me to beliee

in fate. That eerything is already written



and you cannot, in any way escape your

destiny. ut looking around * see all kinds

of proof that sustains precisely this. *t's

cra7y but sometimes it really seems likeall the world's a stage and the director

of the play is a full time resident of the

asylum for the criminally insane. With

puppets for actors (ad little puppets that

can't een see the strings on which they

dangle pointlessly, on and on, day after

day liing under the false impression thatthey matter. At least that is how * feel

when *'m completely hopeless./

"That is crushingly nihilistic, een from

you."

"!aybe it only appears that way to our

primitie minds. !aybe the leel of our

comprehension $ust doesn't allow us to seedeeper in the nature of things :ou can't

let depression get you"

"* am so desperate for answers, proof of

any kind. At this point, * will take

anything *'m so tired of so many half

truths, so many empty words coming from all

sides"

"* don't think anyone has the ultimate

truth *f you come right down to it, most

probably no one knows anything, really.

Teachers will teach, prophets will

prophesi7e, analysts will analy7e and all

of them will predict. And most if not all

predictions fail. * beliee if there's any

real truth, any meaning to anything, theonly way to find it is if you turn inward,

look inside yourself. *f not the ultimate

truth then at least the truth you need, the

truth that will keep you floating and get



you trough another day. !ost accepted

truths are $ust speculations that held and

were not challenged but are useful

neertheless, at least temporary if any ofthem proide some form of comfort to

people./

":eah, comfort proided by lies"

"*t's a rough term, but what if someone, in

the comfort of a, lets call it personal

truth, is able to function productiely for

him and his peers% What if he can lead agood healthy life and do no harm to

anyone%"

"* still couldn't lie like that *t's $ust

not me. * need to know. * need to know

more. The thought that * know so little is

driing me insane)" he finishes with his

fist bashing his knee."Darling, * think you're being too hard on

yourself. :ou know more now, and hae

learned more than some people will in ten

lies. *n addition, you still hae plenty

of time left. *magine your knowledge in

twenty years from now. :ou will think back

and won't beliee how much you'e changed.

#ow much you hae eoled. ;en from year

to year the difference in staggering. e

patient and the answers will come. The most

burning 8uestions will be answered. *

guarantee it. :ou'll find out eactly what

you need to know, een if it won't be good

enough for the others." The continuous and

loing smile on his mother's face does notfade after she finishes talking.

":ou hae a way with encouraging words,

mom, *'ll gie you that. * ery much



appreciate all your effort. Eest assured

it's not in ain."

"0h, * know that, dear) *t can't be in

ain, for you see nothing is in ain. -otthe fact that you're here right now, and

not een one word we said to each other.

:ou will see, * promise. (omeday you will

obsere how beautifully eerything falls

into place. And another thing you should

consider a lot of people say it but the

young rarely understand" (he gies him amysterious look and says, "The $ourney is

more important than the destination."

"And you neer wanted to skip a few miles

now and then% Jump directly to the finish

line%" #e replies feeling $ustified.

"0f course, $ust like eerybody else. ut

life has its way of dealing with those whoprefer shortcuts. *t usually throws them on

a whole bunch of detours that will make the

$ourney een longer. And een those

additional shortcuts, they're still part of

the $ourney for the same destination, maybe

loaded with een more trials that will make

you stronger and stronger proided they

don't kill you, of course."

":es, but * don't want to become all

powerful, you see"

"* knew you were going to say $ust that. (o

typical of you and the young in general.

Think of it this way, if life gae people

all the brakes they wanted, when they want

them, how much longer would their $ourneytake% 9oreer% A bit late, if you ask me."

":ou make a good point, can't argue with

that. ut it still bakes a pretty big



8uestion Why take on the $ourney in the

first place%"

"That, my boy, you'll find out when you

reach your destination," she grins andsends him a wink.

">reat so now we're back where we started.

>oing round and round in circles

wonderful"

"*t's fun, admit it) The thrill of the

search, eerybody loes it, few admit it.

:ou're glad to be alie now and youwouldn't hae it any other way. :ou know

how they all say they were born too early

or too late% -onsense) * say they were born

eactly at the right time, not a second too

soon and not a second too late. And in

their hearts they know it)"

"5ould be but * still say * was born two,maybe three hundred years too soon. 0r at

least that's how long * think we still hae

to go to reach the society * enision."

":es, but by being born now, you will help

build the foundation for that society, that

is what you're doing now, are you not%"

"Again strong point" he admits a bit

frustrated. "* wish * could see it your

way."

"And you will) :ou hae the knowledge but

not yet the wisdom. That comes with age, at

least for a few of us."

"-ot enough, that's for sure. Bnowledge

without wisdom (omehow that reminds me of

two ery unfortunate cities in Japan. 5ouldit be, mother%/ #e becomes startled all of

a sudden, could it be mankind isn't ready

to deal with it yet% What if we're still

completely unprepared to lie without war,



poerty, disease the utter misery eeryone

seems to en$oy% What if they get it all

wrong again and turn the result of my work

into eactly the opposite of what * mean itto be% *t certainly won't be the first

time) * can't beliee * haen't thought of

this before, it's unlikely of me to not

consider the worst before een starting on

something."

"Darling, you can't lose hope, not now,"

she tries to calm him with a reassuringoice.

"We'e been slaughtering each other for

millennia) There is absolutely no reason to

think we'll stop doing that now suddenly

$ust because some obscure oer thinking

nerd comes up with an alternatie to

cutting down our forests and burning theones that got fossili7ed, for energy,/he

says looking hopeless and feeling his palms

sweaty.

"(hort bursts of aniety and grim

predictions due to temporary loss of hope

and trust in himself. -ow * know the

goernment has not replaced you with a

clone, brainwashed for industrial spying

and the sorts. :ou're my son alright,/ she

smiles confident that rad's mood will pass

soon. “:ou cannot let yourself be

discouraged that easily. True, no isionary

eer had it smooth remember the three

usual steps a radical idea goes through.

9irst it encounters ridicule, from theclosed minded folk. (econdly, it's opposed

iolently due to fear of haing to change

the accepted models of its time and finally

comes the full acceptance."



":eah, that is if the idea man isn't burnt

at the stake before he gets a chance to

spread it."

"Well luckily in our times they can't dothat anymore, all they can do is discredit

people and ruin their carriers. !ake them

appear as fools in the scientific

community's eyes."

"9or some, that's not ery far from a

public eecution."

"!aybe so, but let's aoid focusing onnegatie things, agreed% #ow about you tell

me what to wear at the (tockholm ceremony%"

"!other, that's not eactly my worry right

now. esides, we both know there's plenty

of great candidates out there, * doubt they

will take notice of me, een if my

eperiment succeeds. Also, eerybody cansee how political the pri7es hae become."

"Wrong answer, mister. :ou were supposed to

say anything, as long it was een remotely

connected to an elegant dress and my best

$ewelry."

"That's eactly what * meant, it $ust came

out wrong,/ he says to her, ery serious

but both burst into laughter at the same

time.

"Weird sense of humor, $ust like your dad,"

she reminisces with her eyes on the floor.

":eah, funny guy, and that practical $oke

that inoled his disappearance hilarious)

Although that sounds more like a bad magic

act not sure" he ironically scratches hischin.

"0h, stop it, you)/ The usual interruption

comes. +et us not reisit that one, we

talked about it already. * was hoping you



were actually listening, which you were

not, apparently."

"* didn't miss a word, * promise) 5ome on,

you can't deny that was funny. What elsecan * do now, but make fun of the whole

thing%" #e asks with an already improed

state of mind.

"(o it's true. +aughter really is medicine

* guess that is the first step towards

forgieness. Joking about it"

"5ould ery well be, mother.""(ee% -ow this is the spirit you should be

haing all the time) *mpossible not to

bring you anything but good fortune, *

guarantee it)"

"And good fortune * shall re8uire plenty,

to say the least, these net few weeks."

":ou hae my full support with absolutelyanything you put your mind to, dear. And

now that we set the world straight, why

don't you go home, forget about eerything,

and get yourself a good night sleep, the

kind you wake up completely rested after,

and the kind with no dreams. :ou sure look

like you need it."

"-o dreams that * definitely need. ;ight

hours of uninterrupted non rapid eye

moement sleep can work wonders but that is

a rare creature * rarely get to catch a

glimpse of."

"A common symptom among obsessie

compulsie thinkers * beliee,/ she says

$okingly. -ow go and leae your mother be,got to replenish all the energy * $ust used

to keep up with you." (he stops him before

reaching the door and takes him by the

hands.



"!y dear child, please know that * will

foreer be with you, * will watch oer your

well being, no matter where you are or what

you do. -eer lose confidence and hope.And ery important, follow your instinct

don't suppress it. *t will guide you

towards your destination. We will meet

again soon my son, she says with tears

forming in her eyes, "* loe you so ery

much)"

"* loe you too mother thank you foreerything. :ou did well, * could not hae

asked for a better parent. * will make you

proud mother, * promise," and he leaes,

wondering where those last words came from.



I

"* don't think anyone is allowed inside,please, let's go back home."

"5ome one, no one will know. Just for a few

minutes. *t's not like anyone is guarding

it. Just two minutes, * promise. Where is

the harm in that%/ #e asks her ery

impatiently."

"* don't want us to get into any trouble,please) esides, what can possibly be so

interesting% *'m sure you'e already seen

it all."

"That is so you, to find such things

uninteresting. +et's go, come on)" #e pulls

her hands and they get in the 9lyer.

":ou always do this to me, you neer listento what * want, it's always about you," she

yells at him as they slide through the air,

closing in on the pyramid.

"When we get back, *'ll assist you with

your eperiments, * promise) #e replies

without looking back at her."

":ou're such a liar, you always get bored

after $ust fie minutes and disappear

before * hae a chance to say something."

"That will change, * promise," he says,

eyes locked on the glistening top of the

pyramid.

#e shouts oer his shoulder while preparing

to descend for landing, "hold on, we're

almost there)"The walls of the pyramid become a

transparent light blue and he sees her

outside, crying but he is not able to make

up what she is trying to say. #e feels the



ground starting to shake and sees the sky

turning black and a large swirl of dark

clouds forming around the energy beam that

shoots out from the tip of the pyramid. Thetremors become stronger. #e loses his

balance and falls to the ground. 5old

chills of terror run down his spine as he

gets up. #e goes to the translucent wall to

try to get out but it is rock solid. (he

disappears as he is bashing his fists on

the wall. #e tries to scream for her but nowords come out. #e is mute, completely

powerless. #e takes a step back from the

wall. #e is paraly7ed, cannot moe any

farther. *n the distant hori7on enormous

thunderbolts light up the sky for brief

moments, $ust enough for him to see the

towers of the city fall on by one,crumbling into to a black abyss. A giant

wall of water engulfs the remains of the

city and is hurtling towards him with

deafening noise at an incredible speed. *t

hits him.



"The neighbors found her. (he was lying in

bed with a smile on her face, they say. *'msorry, rad. *t was painless. ;asy "

"* still can't beliee it (he didn't seem

sick or anything, $ust a bit tired. We had

a long conersation, there was nothing out

of the ordinary nothing she was her usual

self, happy cheerful."

"* don't think there was anything tonotice she passed naturally old age,

nothing else."

"* "

"5an * get you anything, a coffee tea

maybe%" The doctor asks rad, trying to

take his mind off things."

"-o, don't worry about it, *'m fine, thankyou."

":ou sure% :ou look rather tired. 5an't

sleep%"

"*s it that obious%/ rad stops rubbing

his face with both hands and asks.

"* hae a medical degree, it's my $ob to

know this kind of things, he points to a

wall filled with diplomas. +et me guess.

Also mood swings, poor concentration

depression%"

"* think so *'m not sure it's"

"*t's $ust a mild case of insomnia, *'m

sure. A lot of stress at work% -othing a

nice acation away from your $ob and the

city won't fi. -ormally, any other doctorwill $ust write you a nice prescription of

antidepressants and who knows what else,

but * prefer to aoid heaily medicating

people unless absolutely necessary. Wait) *



know what you need," and he goes to a

wooden locker opposite of the wall with the

framed diplomas, unlocks it and takes out a

greenish bottle with a wooden cork."!y faorite single malt) (cottish, smoked,

twenty fie years old) #e says proudly,

handing him a glass. * refuse anything

lesser./

"Wow, that sounds epensie./

"And strong," the doctor adds.

"* must plead ignorance on the sub$ect, *'mafraid. -ot a connoisseur. :ou're sure we

won't get you in trouble with this%"

"-onsense) *t's my office isn't it% !y

personal sanctuary away from all those

white coats with stethoscopes hanging

uselessly around their necks, out there.

0ne of the few $oys * hae left in my oldage, and one of the few perks of being a

doctor for so many years although

sometimes it can be a curse being a man of

fine taste, * mean * had to wait in a huge

8ueue to hae a case of this whiskey sent

to me from the other side of the planet."

"(o you weren't kidding about the strong

part," rad says after feeling his throat

burn from the first sip.

"* only kid when *'m supposed to be

serious)" #e stirs his glass to release

more peat flaor and laughs.

":ou know, * think we hae more in common

than one might think. * run around all day

trying to aoid white coats, too.""And we're both doctors, aren't we% At

least you are, right%" #e lifts his

shoulders and points to rad, bursting in

laughter. We got to do what we got to do,



right% (ome one has to unfortunately." #e

putts his big round nose inside the glass

for another sniff.

"5ould * get another refill, please%/ radasks with a face like he had $ust swallowed

battery acid.

"Absolutely, kid, here you go)/ #e pours

another round and says, "it's good for you,

it will help you rela. Alcohol opens up

your capillaries, that's why you feel warm

and relaed. As long as you do not abuse itof course. ;en snake poison is good for us

in certain 8uantities. >oes for eerything

else, too. The right amount of anything

will do wonders./

"-ot the abusie kind Doc, you know me"

"(ure * do. een your family doctor for how

long now% Thirty years%""* don't know, but definitely a hell of a

lot longer than my father has been around,

that's for sure."

"(till no word from the old rascal, huh%

Well he must hae had his reasons"

"That's what eerybody keeps telling me"

he relaes een more in the sofa.

"* know it hit you pretty hard the death

of your mother een though one might not

say that from a first impression. Don't

fight the pain, release it) ;press it. *t

will bubble up inside and it's going to

burst, so better sooner than later. (maller

bubble, lesser bang. -ow * know * can

appear to sound a bit cold at times butwithout this protectie screen, there is no

way * could hae been doing what * do for

so long. ;mpathy and doctoring do not go

hand in hand ery well. *'e seen young



doctors crack after $ust a couple months of

0E time. (ome 8uit right away. (ome pick up

a bottle or two at night to forget all the

faces they gae bad news to, that dayThat's why most people get the idea that us

doctors are stone hearted people. That's

not true of course, we became doctors

because we care and want to help. ut

getting close and personal to your

patients, getting too inoled emotionally

That will make it a lot harder for you tofunction properly after the diagnosis, for

eample. *t's a lot easier on your soul to

tell some poor guy he has si months left

if he's lucky, if you don't know his kids

names or things like that, you know what *

mean%"

"* completely understand that and admireyour courage. :ou're among the ones that

made it."

"* hae my breakdowns also, $ust like

eeryone. ut they hae grown scarce now.

Csed to cry like a baby, you know. -ot

ashamed to admit it. 5rying is good.

Eeleases a lot of steam. :ou should try it,

especially nowadays."

"*'m thirty two years old and * can

honestly say * can't remember crying. At

least not after my dad split. * probably

can't do it een if * try."

"9igures. :ou became the man of the family.

:ou had to be strong, to be able to take

care of your mother. :ou could not show anysigns of weakness, and you suppressed

eerything. Therefore, you carry a lot of

emotional baggage. The eolutionary purpose

of crying is still open to debate, but *



can tell you from eperience, it makes for

a damn fine pressure release ale. And you

won't be thirty two for long, right% -ot a

good idea to do it in public though. Whileit's socially acceptable for children and

women, grown men crying that's not a good

public relations moe."

":ou can be sure *'ll book some closet time

when * feel oeremotional," he says putting

the empty tumbler on the small glass table

to his right. A longer pause and the doctorstarts another sentence with his look lost

in long forgotten times, "suffering in

silence. -et comes resignation. They're

both classic symptoms of the '* can't deal

with this psychopathic enironment

syndrome.' That's how *'e come to call

human cities. =sychopathic enironments.-umbers proided better security to

primitie man. They had to come together,

to cooperate in order to surie. The

smaller the tribe, the smaller the chances

to stay alie, to not stare to death you

know. The mammoth hunt would most probably

end in no catch and one or two less men to

proide food for the family. (o it $oined

other families, and when they formed a

tribe, that tribe $oined other tribes.

That's how we got to hae big cities. The

way * see it now is the bigger the city,

the smaller the chances of the indiidual

to stay alie let alone mentally and

physically healthy. We are social creaturesbut too much of anything is also bad."

"*'e neer been the social type, so * know

eactly what you mean."



"And a lot more people than you think

aren't, as well. They $ust hide it behind a

well deeloped eil of hypocrisy. They hae

to, in order to surie in the city, to beaccepted. (ure, some actually en$oy it.

They somehow thrie on it. * see it best at

the conferences * am forced to attend to

and often make long propagandistic speeches

about the all new wonderful drugs $ust

released by the pharmaceutical companies

that lobby our hospital. y new andwonderful * mean a ery slightly modified

ersion of the old drugs, now with a

different name, packaging and price of

course. * get the best place in the house

to obsere the sea of fake smiles. !akes me

want to forcibly induce regurgitation when

* think about it,/ the old physician endsthe last sentence with pronounced disgust.

"ig similarities between us, * see. We

hae to present our pro$ects in such a

light that the potential inestor will be

coninced he is funding a gold mine of

patents. Without their funding there's no

research. Without research there's no work

for the likes of me. And * can't $ust start

my own hundred million dollar scientific

laboratory in the tool shed."

":es, it's a icious circle that feeds on

itself."

"* should get going, Doc... Don't want to

waste your time," he says thinking of all

the work he still has to do."=lease) :ou're enriching my time, not

wasting it. * often get dismissed as being

insane when *'m talking to some one. The



$oy of being comprehended brings much

delight to my soul."

"Thank you, *'ll take that as a

compliment.""As long as the system will be based on

worthless pieces of printed paper," he

continues, "there will neer be a truly

e8ual society. A health system based on

money dictates who gets surgery and who

doesn't. *t dictates who gets to lie and

who gets to die *t decides how manyseered fingers get to be stitched back. *t

is completely obliious to the fact that

eerybody disseres a chance. *nsurance

companies don't see a hard working mother

of three that will die if she doesn't get a

lier transplant soon. -o, all they see is

an asset about to claim the policy she'sbeen paying for all her life and that's

eactly what they fight relentlessly to

aoid. They don't see people with families

and lies about to be destroyed. They see

liabilities and potential risks in a

colorful chart. When they won't insure

someone due to their haing had a bad case

of the flu in their medical records, they

don't call it a pending death sentence,

they call it a failed ealuation. * ordered

so many !E*Ks and so many 5AT scans without

the administration's approal * can't een

remember. Do you know how many times * had

to speak the words '*'m sorry, but your

insurance doesn't coer it%' 0r worse, 'thehospital can't gie you this test for free,

you hae to be insured, otherwise *t will

cost you I months worth of your salary%'

Trust me when * say it's hard to lie with



yourself after something like that and * am

forced to do it eery second day. Wheneer

you think you hae it hard, * guarantee

there's someone out there that has it a lotharder. The trouble with that is almost

eeryone has it hard. (o imagine the kind

of world we lie in without getting angry."

After some pondering rad $oins the

conersation. "We each hae our personal

struggles, our inner battles. *t's hard for

people to fully understand the magnitudebefore they themseles hae been through

those struggles. !aybe that's why the ones

who hae it all don't acknowledge such

things. * guess the richer you are, the

farther away you get from comprehending

such matters. (ome big shot 5;0 who was

neer hungry in his life not only won'tknow how many people die of malnutrition

eery day, but he probably won't een

beliee that could still happen. And if it

does, then it's somewhere far, far away. (o

far and rare that it's not worth taking it

into account."

":ou speak the truth my young friend. The

kind of truth that nobody wants to hear,

unfortunately for us all. The personal

comfort 7one. =eople will defend it

fiercely. The smaller someone's comfort

7one is, the more belligerent he will be to

protect it. (adly, * see smaller and

smaller eery day. 9ear makes a perfect

tool for shrinking them. *gnorance andfear, and there you go. The perfect recipe

for controlling and influencing the

masses."



"Doesn't take a lot to stir the masses

which eer way they need, does it%"

"-o sir, it doesn't. A lot less than you

might think, in any case."":ou know what's the worst thing to be

aware off in this world% At least for me

to know with the utmost coniction that we

hae the possibility to change eerything

oernight basically, to see that eery day

and to accept you're powerless to instill

that thought into people."#aing listened ery carefully to eery

word rad said, the doctor nods lightly and

from under a faint smile, he replies to his

guest, ":ou know *t's a damn shame of what

had to happen to get us to meet today.

There is a ery promising light in your

eyes. * can see it now, * neer fail torecogni7e it. * seldom find it in people,

anymore. Whateer you put your mind to,

don't eer gie up. :ou hae too much to

offer to be discouraged. :ou owe it to

humanity and to all the future generations

that will try to make something of this

earth."

"9unny, again, something that people keep

telling me lately," he says saddening and

thinking of his mother.

"Think of it this way maybe it's eactly

what you need to hear," he gestures with

both hands in a 'oila' fashion.

"Well what you're telling me * didn't

think it was that bad""*t's all that and much worse kid, trust

me. 0nly when you're inside a system for a

while, only then you'll get to look closely

at its inner workings. =eople outside of it



haen't got a clue and they generally don't

take your word for it. They can't beliee

it when you start describing. That goes for

eery institution, for eery industry outthere. !any apparently connected

compartments, none of which has any idea of

how the net one functions."

rad thinks for a minute and before he can

say something, the doctor speaks again, "*

know what you're thinking what am * doing

here with this nut case," and smiles."-o, not at all, it's $ust that it's a bit

hard to take it all in. :ou seem to hae a

ery good iew of the big picture"

":es, sity si years of life will do that

to you."

"(ome wouldn't get it een if they had fie

times that age.""* would say some would neer eer get it,

but that sounds too pessimistic."

"(ome don't want to get it, you know% ut

can we really blame them% eing ignorant to

this kind of things saes them from a lot

of frustration. *gnorance is the best

defense of a weak mind."

"!ight be, but would you rather be among

the few ones that are awake rather than

among all the sleep walkers on the way to

the edge of the cliff%"

">ood point. ut what difference can a

handful of us do in the rier of sleep

walkers% 5an we really change its course%

+et's be realistic. They're not walkinganymore, they're now running towards the

bottomless pit fall."

"!aybe the fall is eactly what we all

need. =art of our lessons."



":eah, the final lesson," he cynically

adds.

"* don't think anything out there is really

final. *t's all about cycles, eerywhereyou look. 0ne thing ends, another one

starts. -othing is eer completely lost,

only transformed."

"That's one way to see it. ut it's been a

long time since * had any true conictions.

+ost all of them gradually, as * learned

more and more, as * discoered things. *doubt eerything now."

"While that's not a bad approach, you might

be missing some things because of it."

"* don't know anymore 5onfusion =lenty of

confusion."

"5ome on, let's change the sub$ect a bit.

Tell me more about your work. What madscientist eperiments are you running these

days% Csed to be a technology freak myself,

but gae up on it. (oulless machines don't

cut it for me."

"(oulless indeed, but ery helpful. * see

technology as the last real hope for man

kind. Think about it, there's no need for

us to do any manual labor at all. We can

hae huge robot factories producing

eerything we need. 9rom food to clothes to

our houses and een replacement organs for

our bodies, why not% We can build robot

surgeons to eliminate human error from the

operating room... no offense,/ he grins and

continues after the doctor gestures 'nonetaken,' we can build speciali7ed robots for

almost anything. Eobert #einlein said

speciali7ation is for insects. * say it is

for machines. (peciali7e them for the



repetitie, boring, inhumane, mind numbing

and intellect atrophying tasks. They need

not be forced on humans anymore. Those

things are eactly what robots like to doand they do it flawlessly, non stop if

needed. We would not need to work for them

or with them, they would work for us,

happily, without strikes or any kind of

demands besides they're energy

re8uirements. This brings me to the point *

am trying to make. The only thing stoppingmankind from taking this step toward true

freedom of the mind and body is the current

energy crisis. That is what *'m trying to

fi with my work. *'m sorry but that's

about all * can discuss outside the lab

without breaking a ton of rules and

confidentiality contracts.""* understand. -o worries. *t's still a

ery interesting dialogue. =lease let's

continue on this line. :ou say all work can

be put on robots backs. That would mean the

entire population will be unemployed."

"* prefer the term 'free' as opposed to

unemployed. !ost people who are employed

are not happy about it and almost all are

seriously limited by the repetitie work

they hae to do daily. That is a gross

misallocation of resources if you ask me.

ecause in the end, the real wealth of the

world is not made up of some papers in a

bank ault or other irreleant things of

the sort. What if one day we wake up andfind the entire world's money, bonds and

shares gone. Just anished into thin air.

Will it mean we're all poor and we're going

to stare because the world has $ust lost



all its wealth% -o. 0ur real wealth is

intelligence brain power and all the

natural resources we waste due to the

misuse of our brain power. Think about it.The ideas we can come up with if we come

together with a common goal, * guarantee

it, can get us out of anything. We could

find solutions to all our problems. -othing

is impossible. ut returning to the point,

unemployment does not necessary mean bad

news. *t's a ery positie thing,eerything we need being proided by

machines frees up all those brains to

tackle the biggest problems of our time."

"0B, but what about the machines% They will

need maintenance will they not% (ome one

will still hae to do some repetitie and

boring tasks to sustain the artificialworkforce. #ow will you conince someone to

take some time off his newly found freedom

to mend the robotic needs%"

"-ot necessarily conince them. There are

plenty of people out there who would

happily make it a hobby, maintaining the

machines. Holunteers. And when one gets

bored or $ust doesn't want to do it

anymore, some one else will take his place.

-o punishments, no negatie stimulation

like it's being done now. Eotation

eerybody wins, eerybody is happy. Also,

as technology improes which is absolutely

ineitable by the way, the machines will

fi and replicate themseles, almostcompletely remoing us from the e8uation."

"That almost sounds plausible," the doctor

says still trying to imagine it.

"Almost%/ rad asks a bit startled.



"Well, * say almost because well, it $ust

seems there's a long way to go, still.

We're not eactly famous for mass mentality

change, you know what * mean% Take foreample drug research. The hospital could

neer engage in it due to lack of funds of

course, so some hospitals, the ones that

can afford it hae to team up with

uniersities and start special programs

through which they ask for people around

the globe to donate computing power forprotein simulations and the such. ecause

of course, there is no way they can book

processing time on the really big super

computers out there that are too busy

simulating nuclear eplosions and military

eercises. (o they ask regular people, to

crunch numbers for them. A handsome fewolunteer for it but still far from enough

to get results faster. *t takes years for

the first phase of any gien pro$ect. :ears

to accumulate sufficient data to hae a

starting place for an actual breakthrough."

"*ndeed. * am familiar with that. We're

lucky enough to hae our own super

computer. *t ranked thirteenth in the world

when it first booted up. -ow, after fie

years it's probably sitieth. !aybe lower.

ut that's a good thing. *t means

technology is adancing and we hae more

computing power at our disposal. ;en

though as we speak, still misused."

"A mind like yours cannot afford to bepessimistic or depressed," the doctor says

ery enthusiastic after catching the

glimpse of optimism from his young guest.



“:ou would be depriing the world of so

much./

"* don't think a mind like mine can

function without the usual dose ofdepression. And so far * don't think *

offered much of anything to the world."

"* can recogni7e a isionary anytime, and *

think *'m talking to one right now."

"-o need for flattering, * don't desere

it. And we'll see how isionary * am in a

couple of years, maybe.""!odesty also. -ow * am coninced you hae

the right stuff, kid."

"Thanks for the support. * wish * had this

kind of encouraging in school, also."

"(chool. Well, you see, that's another

matter, completely. * myself hae neer let

my schooling interfere with my education,"he grins.

"!ark Twain."

";actly right. :ou see (chool is not

eerything. ;specially the kind that keeps

promoting old doctrines oer and oer. As

long as * must be indoctrinated, * prefer

it is with new stuff, don't you agree% ut

it was not the case. * was always trying to

rebel, but could neer muster enough

courage to speak my mind to all the closed

minded fools that we called teachers. Would

also get in serious trouble when * tried

it. -obody likes a reisionist, that's for

sure."

"-o. They don't.""And how can one deelop in an enironment

where critical thinking is punished and

competition is encouraged frantically%

:ou're forced into day after day of rote



memori7ation of mostly irreleant out dated

driel and non sense and then forced into

the flawless regurgitation of all that non

sense you stacked in your brain. *t doesnot matter what you actually want to

become. The choice is an illusion. :ou end

up being eactly what the system needs.

This way we are turned into a good,

obedient, un8uestioning work force. The

respect and fear of any kind of authority

starts in the family enironment, where youget smacked for doing the wrong things.

Then, you moe on to that wonderful school

bench where you learn to obey further the

words of those all knowing people and by

the time you're out of college you are

ready) Eeady to sere in a cubicle for

thirty fie years or until they throw youout like a bad tooth, $ust because you were

unlucky enough to appear in a budget cut

graphic."

"That's what the corporations do all day

long. 5ost cutting. !ore efforts and

resources go into finding out what to cut

than the employees benefits or salaries

re8uire. 5ra7y, right%"

"Well you seem to hae the right general

idea about it."

"* obsere the way things run at the

research facility, the way the bosses

think. ut actually, *'m not speaking

completely out of personal eperience. *

hae a friend we talk a lot. #e wasworking for a large market research

company. Thousands of employees, the works.

* watched him start with high hopes and

enthusiasm and ending up hopelessly



desperate and depressed. *t was all good at

first but as he climbed the so called

corporate ladder," rad makes the 8uote

un8uote gesture with his fingers, “as hewent deeper into the inner workings of the

whole place, he started to understand how

it really functions. !aybe 'functions' is

not the most appropriate word to use.

The doctor laughs heartily and says, "*

know eactly what you mean by that, please

carry on" and resumes the posture oflistening carefully with great ecitement,

elbows on the desk, hands interlocked,

close to the mouth, like praying.

"Well it was hard to beliee all the

things he was telling me, but * always

trusted him and $udging by his oerall

condition * don't think he was lying norhad he any reason to. #e was neer fully

assimilated by that place, because he would

always complain about how nobody can see

the obious how the managers would lie

though their teeth and always set people

against each other through all kinds of

pathetic schemes& promoting somebody who

didn't actually desered it and parading it

all through the building, so as eery one

can see, is $ust one eample. (ure, there

was no actual promotion, most of the time,

the things that would change would $ust be

the name of his $ob role, the amount of

work increased and the money would usually

stay the same as before.""-eertheless, it did the trick, right% As

long as you keep people busy digging wholes

for their colleagues, they won't hae time

to 8uestion the longer hours, unpaid



oertime, the cuts, the disappearance of

more and more benefits or at least the

oerall lack of respect they get from their

superiors and so on," the doctor commentswhile still ery much captiated by the

moment.

";actly. The employee of the month scheme.

And we all know how big corporate people

are on pompous $ob titles."

"About seen out of ten office people

prefer grander $ob titles to pay rise, heinterrupts."

":es, and it's all oer the place now. The

grocery store clerk is called a sales

coordinator now. The garbage man is no

longer the garbage man, he's a waste

management consultant."

":eah, and the office cleaners are broomengineers," the doctor chuckles.

"That's a good one,/ rad replies with a

sad smile. The doctor catches it and tries

not to appear insensitie. "*t's sickening,

* know. ut effectie, none the less. They

know ery well how to pray on the snobbism

of people. !anagers hae tons of

manipulation courses paid by the company.

They are prepared for absolutely anything

you might say or ask. Try it sometimes.

They start reciting their poems

immediately. A special one for each

occasion of course, they seldom rime and

only insult your intelligence, but you will

walk out of there ashamed you dared ask fora raise."

":es. ut my friend, being a rather

different kind of creature, he was not

ashamed of what he was asking for. #e was



ashamed and embarrassed by the complete

lack of shame on his superior's part. #e

couldn't beliee what he was hearing,

couldn't comprehend how they could lie thatmuch and not lose any sleep oer it. +ies

and continuous cheap propaganda. The kind

in which they brag about how they are an

e8ual opportunity employer and the kind

that always reminds you how lucky you are

to hae a $ob in a time when all their

competitors are closing branches eerywhereand firing people."

"5heap to the ones who can recogni7e it and

the naked truth for those that can't.

*ndeed a ery curious entity, the

corporation," the physician says. “*t is

absolutely soulless remorseless. *t does

not care about anything other than makingmore and more money for the shareholders.

*t needs slaes to push useless papers all

day, but it hates their guts and is always

looking for ways to get rid of them. =eople

are nothing more than a necessary epense

to it. *t's a cold monster that would stop

at nothing on its way to owning

eerything."

"That's a ery good synthesis of what he's

been telling me," rad agrees. "A heartless

but efficient mechanism. A daily struggle

to dodge all kinds of catch twenty6two

situations created by the need to brake the

rules in order to follow them. #e used to

call the meetings with his superiorsdehumani7ation sessions. That one will

stick with me for a long time. *n the last

year of his stay, he would be drinking a

lot. (aid it was the only thing that could



calm him down, when he got home. 5ouldn't

sleep, couldn't eat right until one day he

$ust couldn't take it anymore and he 8uit,

telling eerybody that a place like that isnot for the sane. * kept suggesting

8uitting to him but he would always say it

would $ust be like $umping from a lake into

a fountain, and he had to see how far the

hypocrisy would go. #ow far the people

would be willing to prostitute their

minds.""* like that," the doctor $umps in,

“prostitution of the mind *t says a lot."

"Hery illustratie epression, yes."

"(o how is he now% What's he doing now,

this friend of yours%

"#e left the city and lies on a small

farm. >rows his own food, he says. (eemshappy."

"!aybe that's what we all need a return to

the land."

"Well, right now, we couldn't be farther

away from it."

"Also true. =retty far away from nature, in

general, us humans, lately."

"That is another sub$ect on which we could

talk for hours. =lease, let's go back to

the schooling for a second. Do you hae a

resolution for it% ;ducation instead of

indoctrination, * mean. =araphrasing

;instein, * would say the true pioneers of

a free thinking world are the young people

who refuse the public school system'sdoctrines. "

"* beliee your ersion of the 8uote, holds

as much truth as the original one," rad

compliments the old man."



"A war6less world Wouldn't that be

something%" (aid the doctor, with his eyes

on the parchment paper globe in the corner

of his office."A resolution * think it is a rather

simple one. Just like the solutions to all

our problems are. 9irst, we should allocate

it a budget that is at least twenty times

bigger than what the school system

currently gets. At least twenty times.

=lenty of useless institutions out therefrom where to draw the funds from. *nstead

of grading the students and supporting

competition, $ust hae a system of free

learning hae the teacher present both

sides of the coin and let them decide for

themseles, in open discussion. =resent

them with real choice and don't force themto a profession they don't incline to, for

eample. This way, you support real

deelopment and aoid haing some

incompetent fool in a high responsibility

position. The really good will separate

naturally from the others. Diplomas and

certificates will go to those who desere

them and will put them to good use, not to

$ust anyone who can memori7e tons of books.

* guess it goes without saying nobody

should hae to pay for education. *f

nurtured right, at least some of them will

return real wealth to society, namely

ideas life improing and society adancing

ideas. That's my ision, in a nutshell, ofa better way to assist our future

generations in really becoming all they can

become./



"And a great ision it is kid, definitely)"

The doctor presents his diagnosis, without

much pondering. * am afraid, again that a

thick wall of interests blocks this ideafrom taking shape, at least for the time

being. The same goes for your robotic work

force, unfortunately."

"What can * say, doc% *'m a dreamer. At the

same time *'m well aware this city is no

place for one."

"-ot many left. Just make sure you don'tspread your dreams under their feet. *

doubt they will tread lightly."

rad smiles, recogni7ing the intelligent

use of lines from his faorite poem.

"(o it's true wisdom really does come with

age, he says reminiscing about his mother."

"There are plenty of eceptions to thatrule, kid. * should know, * am talking to

one."

"* don't know about that," rad replies

almost blushing

"* will admit, we are among the lucky ones,

you and *. We get to do something we really

like. The most important thing for eery

one who inests his life into his work, is

to actually see the results of his toils.

-o matter how much of a bad day *'m haing,

and how much crap * hae to swallow at some

damn conention at the end of the day when

* watch my patients walk out of the

hospital on their own two feet after

arriing on a stretcher that makes it allworthwhile you know what * mean% That

feeling * get right that instant keeps me

going another day. *t's something you will

neer get from sitting in a cubicle all



day, pushing pointless papers and wonder in

silence who's going to be net one people

will talk about what a 8uiet man he was. *f

you spend ten years planting trees all dayin the sun, een then, in the net ten

years you will see the results of your

work. That, kid is something not many can

hae.

"=lanting trees " rad whispers with a

ery melancholic oice, and imagines it.

5an you imagine a nobler thing to do inthis world%"

"!aybe, if some one would want to hire

people for such actiity, they would hae a

lot of success attracting workers if they

adertise the $ob position as future

generations world oygen supply manager

instead of tree planter. The more galactic,the better."

"Absolutely, rad speaks between laughs.

(eeing as our entire society thries on

euphemisms, we should make use of them een

more. #ow about, instead of war room let's

call it department of defense, or armed

interention instead of war of aggression,"

rad says sarcastically.

"5lassic 0rwellian double speak, kid," the

doctor sighs.

"5lassic and efficient)" rad raises his

oice in an aggraated manner and then

apologi7es. "*'m sorry but this sort of

things makes my blood boil."

"* know how that feels, don't worry aboutit. Csed to do the same too me, but as you

get older, you learn to control the

temperature, you learn to keep it stable if

you know what * mean. 0therwise you may



damage some subsystems. And replacement

parts don't come easy around here also,

their not as good as the originals."

"*'ll take your word on that. ;speciallynow, as my confusion is reaching gigantic

proportions. Doc can * take this

opportunity to ask you something%"

"(ure, but don't epect me or anyone for

that matter to actually know the truth. And

* most certainly won't say what you want to

hear, or use euphemisms.""Warning acknowledged. *'ll be 0B, as long

as you tell me eactly what you think and

don't sugar cone anything."

"(hoot)" the doctor stands curious.

"Why do you think people willingly go to

war% ut * don't mean the surface reasons

eerybody knows about. *'m talking about adeep cause. What unconscious urge can push

people to this% *'e asked many people the

same 8uestion but neer a doctor. *t's one

of my most burning personal 8uestions * get

tormented by, because * see it as the

ultimate failure of any race, not to

mention that we're the only species to

engage in such acts. *'m hoping that after

eplaining it to myself it will be at least

easier to cope with the whole thing. What

do you think dries human beings to

slaughtering each other into etinction%"

"That's not easy to answer, but * shall try

my best) ;erybody sees things differently,

each indiidual sees the unierse throughhis ery own reality tunnel and * doubt

you'll find two identical tunnels no matter

where you would look. +et's touch first

some of the surface reasons as you called





And then you hae the good old

dehumani7ation of the so called enemy. :ou

are bombarded continuously, long before the

war starts with things that portray theother side as anything but human.

(ometimes, decades een. They are filthy

monsters with no conscience, which would

skin you alie $ust for the sake of

pleasure, sadistic brutes that must be

eradicated to the ery last one. lood

thirsty hyenas who will stop at nothing todeour you alie. *t's simple, they must be

killed or we all die. 0f course, the more

graphic the propaganda the better. A

poster depicting some form of grossly miss

shaped abomination of an enemy soldier

stabbing an innocent baby will hae you

coninced in no time. This way, it is much,much easier to pull the trigger or burn

down a few ciilian illages, you know. The

screams of agony of dying women and

children would not really sound all that

musical if you would know the alleged enemy

is $ust another human being, ery much like

yourself, with hopes and dreams, passions

and aspirations. Eed blood coursing through

their eins, not the green acid from the

manifestos. Why, if you didn't know any

better, you would say that, apart from the

language and border lines that dreadful

enemy is not so different from yourself,

after all. Cnder different circumstances

you might een be good friends. And that iseactly what the politicians and generals,

safely placed away from any inconenient

machine gun fire want to aoid.



oth methods highly effectie, you must

agree, $udging from the history books."

"#ighly effectie, indeed" rad says,

trying to set his mind away from the iidimage of the infant being bayoneted.

"Eight let us continue. 9or the war of

self defense not a lot of conincing must

be done, especially when the thundering

roar of the inading army's tanks is making

your house shake. That is the moment when

all that wonderful patriotic sentimentget's unleashed. *t has been carefully

instilled in your heart and mind since you

were in kinder garden. All those things

like our country is the best, our language

is the sweetest and the most musical, our

nation is the greatest in the whole wide

world. Things like that are not 8uestionedby si year olds. They are taken for

granted and become imprinted truths for

life. 5ombine that with our two faorite

methods we $ust discussed and you'll hae

people diing their plane into an aircraft

carrier or throw themseles under the enemy

tank with a bag filled with grenades in no

time, defending the mother land or crushing

the skulls of the wretched child killing

monsters. -ow, how to describe a deeper

cause for all this madness% The doctor

pauses for a brief moment to think it

through.

"Take all the time you need, doctor. *t's

not eery day * get to listen to suchthings."

"*'m glad you're not bored yet. * hae that

effect on most people."





when we know eerything. When we unlock the

last pu77le left in all the unierses. What

will we do then% #ow will we lie% Would

life be worth liing, at all%""* admire you for thinking that far right

now * hope we won't nuke ourseles into

obliion in the net fifty years or so."

"What if we already did that in our distant

past, and somehow life managed to start all

oer again% !aybe the whole eolution, the

whole unierse runs in huge cycles and weget unlimited second chances to rediscoer

eerything. What if eery time the cycle

restarts, we learn and discoer more than

the last time%" The doctor digresses

melancholically.

"5onsidering where we are now, *'d say we

hae a huge handicap on our way to absoluteknowledge."

"!ost definitely, young man," he agrees,

coming down to a sudden landing from his

flight through the multicolored skies of

his mind."

"*t is more important than knowledge, you

know. #uman imagination. oundless,

infinite the source of eerything. *ts

suppression has led us to become a

defectie and medicated race."

"What you said earlier, about us being

repressed. * think it makes a lot of sense.

* think it's a ery probable cause," rad

tries to bring the doctor back on track.

">ood to know * gae you something to thinkabout, kid. Which is more than * can say *

do for my students."

"Do you think we hae reached the limit of

our brain%"



"Another cause for our misfortunes could be

that our minds the software& are still

running on ancient hardware the brain&

that is basically the same as it was manythousands of years ago. (o you hae twenty

first century knowledge in a hunter

gatherer's brain."

"Another plausible point, doctor. That

would eplain a lot, including the

perpetual war. We're trapped by these

primitie circuits that keep us in constantbio surial aniety and territorial

s8uabbles. "

"Well said, my dear boy. :ou know it sure

feels like you're much older than you

look."

"* feel old, that's for sure)" rad laughs.

"Don't lose hope, rad. These are $ust moreproblems to be found answers to by people

like you. * would say people like you and

me, but let's face it. The time * had, to

do something about it is mostly already

spent. *t's up to your generation, and your

children to carry the search. All * can do

now is to try to keep you in good health."

"-eer too late for anything, doctor. +et

me ask you are you a religious man% *

mean do you beliee in, you know >od%"

"Another sub$ect we could debate for hours

the doctor replies with a straight face,

but glad rad is not thinking of leaing,

yet. "Well * grew up in a catholic

enironment. Went to catholic school thatwas not ery pleasant. The nuns did a great

$ob tormenting the crap out of us and we

sure learned what it means to hae fear of

>od. 0r better said fear of the nun's



treatment. *'m still not completely oer

that. *t's not fair, you see not getting

to choose. *f you're born in a catholic

family then you are automatically catholic,if you're born in an orthodo or protestant

or whateer, then that is what you will be,

because people are always born in the one

true religion, right% All others are bad

ones."

"* ery much appreciated the sarcasm,

doctor, please, continue.""(o, not getting to choose, that's pretty

unfair. Doesn't matter what you want or

beliee. As long as the indoctrinations

starts early enough, you'll be a true

belieer all your life. #ard to shake off

those early imprints. *t's funny how it

all started. *t is speculated thatorgani7ed religion started with the

primitie man being scared by thunder. And

because of the need to hae a bigger father

figure when mature, to pass on

responsibility or to blame. At its core, *

beliee it seres a noble purpose to gie

man hope of an afterlife the impression

that they are being cared for all the time.

=eople need this in order to function

properly. *t proides comfort. ut the

church corrupted the basic ideas so far

it's insane. The church has unfortunately

become the world's largest corporation,

with branches all oer the globe. That's

how * see it ""And one of the most profitable and

influential, agreed%"

"Absolutely. *t is a ery abusie entity.

All religion does now is to diide people.



ut they're starting to reali7e they don't

need it and are moing away from it.

;specially the young generation. *t is

still ery powerful, the church but not somuch as to start another in8uisition or

anything like that."

"The in8uisition that's another $ewel in

the crown of our accomplishments."

"Guite right, unfortunately. The witch

hunts the torture the burning alie of so

many people. :ou would not want to be ascientist, * mean a heretic, in those

times."

"Definitely not. !y brain deelops pain

receptors when eer * think about such

things. ut hey, at least the Hatican

apologi7ed for >iordano runo, so that

makes it all right.""Well not all right but, it's at least

something."

"-ot enough for me, doc not by a long

shot. Who knows where we could hae been

now if it wasn't for the dark ages And

there's plenty of eidence of a modern

in8uisition out there, also. ooks hae

been burned a plenty, rather recently."

"That's true. A thousand year handicap,

indeed. * hope the future generations won't

look back on us the same way we look back

on our past ones. *n the face of

etinction, * think it is imperatie to put

superstitions and outdated traditions

behind us or face the conse8uences.""(o you don't beliee in >od."

"+et me put it this way, kid. 9aith is for

the poor if you know what * mean. All we

can rely on is good old skepticism."



"* understand."

"-eertheless *t appears to this foolish

old man that some unknown something out

there is, let's say helping for lack of abetter term, the unierse to maintain a

certain order"

"* think * know what you mean, doctor."

"-ot a lot of disagreeing between us today.

*s the discussion in danger of becoming

boring%"

">reat minds think alike, doctor," radhurries to assure.

"Would you allow me to indulge in the ery

unhealthy habit of lighting up a cigar%/

The doctor asks, reaching for his desk

drawer.

"=lease go ahead, * don't mind. * don't

smoke but * can tolerate it as long as it'snot too often. What * can't tolerate is the

lack of respect the non smoker gets. We're

almost marginali7ed."

"* know what you mean. * used to be a heay

smoker for a few years. The two packs a day

kind. * know a doctor that smokes, but *

8uit in good time. * only bring out one of

these pups at ery special occasions. *

8uit $ust as soon as * reali7ed what an

addiction really is. Did you know that

women were forbidden to smoke in public for

8uite some time% (moking is hip, that's why

most kids take it up. *t's socially awkward

to not smoke these days. (moking accounts

for a large percent of the personality forsome. *t's a way to sociali7e.

*t's so successful, and so many do it due

to the fact that the entire process mimics

the suckling from our mother's breast. That



is where we first find refuge from the

newly discoered world. That is where all

the warmth, comfort and protection is from

all the dangers of the material unierse.*t's a life long imprint, and people will

unconsciously keep trying to return there

until death. (moking, nail biting, gum

chewing all for the same reason. !ountain

climbing and pyramid building also," the

doctor grins, while en$oying another puff.

"0B. And how do you eplain addiction ingeneral%" rad asks with his eyes set on a

cone shaped medieal helmet in the doctor's

office.

"(impler than you might think. +et's take

sugar for eample. #ighly addictie

substance and *'m not kidding about that.

=rimitie man had to suffer many bee stingsto get his hands on something sweet, as

there were not many sources of anything

that sugary. A rare and delicious treat

that proides loads of energy to hunt or

escape a predator. When you hae something

sweet now, for eample, your Amygdala, the

primitie brain responsible for animal

instincts like fight or flight, interprets

that sweet treat as an adantage for your

surial. !ore than that it has no idea

what the treat is or how much is enough and

it doesn't een care. *t will make you want

to hae more and more. That's how we become

addicted. 0ur primitie brain also keeps us

stuck in the same mammalian rituals eeryday, like territorial aggressieness and

dominance submission games while the great

ma$ority of us are neer aware of the

robotry of our lies. * wonder is it



getting a bit clearer now, your war

dilemma%"

"!uch clearer, rather ironic what is

trying to protect us so hard is actuallyleading us to our untimely demise."

"!ost probably, yes," the doctor lights

another match to keep the cigar going.

"Well, doctor " rad gets up, "this has

been of the utmost interest to say the

least. Time being an unrecoerable resource

* would not want to waste any more ofyours."

"*t may be unrecoerable, but certainly

none was wasted here today, my dear boy. A

most pleasant intellectual eercise, it

was." #e gets up in a rush, knowing that

this time he cannot stop rad from leaing.

"Wait, let me put out this damn chimney and*'ll walk you out." They go out the door,

and on their way to the eleator, they pass

along a few patients happily engaged in

conersation with their families.

"Hisiting hours will soon be oer and *'ll

be stuck here with all these unlucky

fellows, the doctor thinks out loud. 9rom

around a corner, a middle aged woman runs

in front of them and shouts ery

conincing, "doctor, wait) The pains are

back, please, what should * do% :ou hae to

admit me, please)"

"Darling, how many times must * tell you% *

can't do that. * will get in trouble with

the other doctors. Do you want me to losemy license oer this% >o sit down in the

waiting room and * will be with you in a

minute, we will talk about it./



"That was odd", rad says, while calling

the eleator and waiting for an

eplanation.

":eah, that was Heronica, she's a regularhere. =oor thing isn't sick but she

pretends to be so she can get the attention

of doctors. (he used to really make herself

sick with all kinds of methods but she's

getting a bit better now. (till hae to

hae long talks with her eery couple of

weeks though. (he only comes to me becausethe other doctors will throw her out with

out many negotiations."

"!unchausen's syndrome% rad asks the

physician that lifts his eyes of the ground

a bit startled.

"Well * know who's after my $ob, now," and

with an in8uiring look, asks how he knewabout the woman's condition.

"* read a lot," he replies grinning.

"+ooks like you could coer for me here for

a while, if needed. ut * can't promise *

can coer for you at the laboratory, unless

you're 0B with a ma$or systems shut down,"

he chuckles.

"That sounds like a lot of fun," rad

laughs along.



@

The eleator door opens and rad takes his

eyes of the doctor long enough to catch aglimpse of a woman getting off. As their

eyes meet, for a fraction of a second rad

's heart stops. #is laughter disappears

abruptly and his face turns pale. They step

inside and he barely hears fragments of

what the doctor is saying, "#ope come

back soon"#is chest is pounding and the accelerated

synapses fire away relentlessly in hope of

making sense of what $ust happened. Time

epands and endless iid flashbacks

intertwine before his eyes and a multitude

of feelings rush his soul. 9eelings of

familiarity, $oy, sadness and happiness allcombined with the eerie impression of dL$M6

u. '*t can't be,' he thinks. '*t's

impossible. ut the resemblance is

incredible. (he looks eactly like her, it

is her) ut how% -o) *t can't be she

smiled at me& it was like her eyes burnt

through my skull does she know me% Do *

know her% Why is she here%'

"Are you 0B% :ou look like you'e seen a

ghost)" The doctor cuts his chaotic line of

thought.

"*t's her)" rad shouts, going against all

his beliefs.

"#er, who%/ 5omes the 8uick reply.

"The woman from my dreams)"



?

5omplicated graphs and oscillating figures

coer rad<s entire computer screen. #eabsent6mindedly watches them change but can

not stop thinking about her. The woman who

occasionally sings to the sick children at

the hospital. #er name is +illy, the doctor

said.

"rad) >lad to hae you back, man," Tim

greets him with a good mood, "how are you%""9ine, you know, glad to be back

superising the monkeys," he tries to $oke.

"*'m sorry about you mother, rad, if

there's anything * can help with, $ust let

me know."

"Thanks, it's 0B life goes on right%"

"The monkeys here are a special breed theycan take care of themseles $ust enough for

you to take some more time off gather your

strength."

"* can't afford to waste any time, *'m

needed here it's $ust that *'m angry at

the fact that this happened now * wanted

her to see it happen, you know% To make her

proud of my work, show her she did a good

$ob raising and supporting me"

"*'m sure she had no doubts about that. (he

knew all along, you know how mothers are."

":eah you're probably right."

"0f course *'m right," Tim boasts grinning,

"*'m always right."

"#ey, don't get ahead of yourself) That'sme you're talking about. !y unofficial nick

name is "always right rad," you know

that."



"That's the rad * know,/ Tim pats him on

the shoulder. "+ook we hae to talk."

"What's going on%/ #e asks.

"*t's probably nothing but late yesterday,some suits were here. *t looked like they

were getting a tour of the lab from the big

boss."

"What suits% What are you talking about%"

"* don't know, *'e neer seen them before.

=retty somber indiiduals. The whole time

they were $ust listening and pointing tostuff. *ce cold look epressionless faces.

Hery creepy."

"Well that can't be good. Judging by the

fact that they were inside, clearance isn't

a problem. >oernment goons, maybe% :ou'e

been bragging about our results, haen't

you%""What% -o) * swear, * was 8uiet like a fish

about the whole thing. Don't worry about

it. *'m sure it's nothing. Just the boss

showing off with our gi7mos, you know how

it is begging for some more contracts.

Those suits can't possibly know what

eactly is going on in here."

"Again, you're underestimating things.

9atal mistake, according to (un T7u."

"(un (hmu, come on, you're worrying for

nothing, as usual, most probably."

"* hope so but why wouldn't our dear chief

ask me to be part of the so called tour%

And why the weird time frame% Also why when

* wasn't here%""What do you mean 'why'% #e's 5hief

;ecutie 0fficer and chairman of the

board. That makes him the god of all the

sorry minions that lurk in this building.



#e does not need your permission or

approal for anything. And he can also find

reasons to can each and eery one of us if

it makes his reports look green.""Guite right. ut * still won't take this

one 8uietly."

"+et it go, rad. We're almost there. Two

more weeks of testing, tops and after that,

start working on your paper. *'e already

started on mine. After it's published

you'd better be prepared for camera flashesand microphones, yes sir)" Tim says

enthusiastically.

"* sent you some emails with some more data

and output predictions. +ook them oer,

tell me what you think. esides that,

there's not much to do around here but

wait. *f we hae to share a -obel, then youhae to work for your half," he laughs.

"-ow come on, let's get some lunch."

"-o, go ahead not really hungry. *'m going

for a walk it will help clear my head."

"0B, see you later, then."



32

The park's alleys are coered in an autumn

carpet of golden leaes. 0nly the soft windand rad<s dragging feet are rearranging

them into yet another random pattern,

closer maybe to a resolution of this

natural pu77le. #e is aimless, like a lost

wanderer through the ma7e of the world,

hoping to find peace of mind in some remote

cae, forgotten by father 5haos. There is aconstant battle, raging between all the

8uestions that were asked in all the

history of humanity and his relentless

mind's desire for the truth and for

ultimate understanding. !aybe that is why

the unierse designed intelligence. !aybe

that is the sole reason for the eistenceof intelligence To understand itself, he

thinks. 9eeling tired, he heads for the

closest bench he sees and as the distance

becomes smaller and smaller with each step,

he wonders how many people hae eer sat on

that eact bench, what were they thinking

in all that time. What led them to that

eact place and hae they asked themseles

8uestions like this% #e tries to imagine

the first cause of the unierse and all

that followed until this ery moment, how

eerything that eer was contributed and

conspired in some small way or another to

bring him to this instance. A yellow oak

leaf is detached from the only place it haseer known and slowly swirls in front of

him. Just before it touches the ground he

wonders about how affected the whole

unierse would be if he would interene



right before the leaf would land on the

cobblestone what if he stops its fall and

brakes the natural course of that small

moment in time would it be enough to starta chain reaction that would hae

repercussions for a thousand years, for

eer and eer in all the unierses of

eistence% 0r could it be that no one and

nothing will eer know of it for all the

remaining eons of the unierse% ;ither way,

would it be an action that was initiatedsolely by his own free will or was it

commanded in adance by some unknown

custodians, some cold inisible scientists,

to which we are nothing but an ongoing

eperiment% *f he would choose to let the

fall take its course instead of catching

it, would it mean he changed the future%What if that future was already written%

What if all futures are already written% 0r

maybe we write them as we go along% Was

this what -iet7sche meant by the wordsN 'we

are all greater artists than we think%'

What if we all anished in a split second

of the face of the earth, would anyone miss

us% Would it mean the slightest thing in

the cosmic scale of things% Would the grass

continue to be green if there is no one to

see it% Will the birds still sing and the

sun still rise in the morning% *f they

would, then would it be utterly in ain%

Would it be completely pointless as long as

nobody is there to admire it toacknowledge it% *s it all in our heads% Are

we $ust robotic puppets with no actual

purpose% *f so, what if one day all the

puppets become aware of the strings on



which they dangle% Would the sudden

discoery of the eistence of a puppeteer

console the fact that we are mere puppets%

Would we make it our life's goal to climbthe strings% *s it worth it at all to climb

the strings and could we do it if we tried%

Would the puppeteer like that, would he

feel proud about it% Are all the

indiiduals on earth but mere pieces that

form an enormous moie pro$ector one that

plays the same film oer and oer again forall eternity, comple enough $ust to not

comprehend the eact plot line, and one

that appears too real to us to change

anything. 0ne that keeps us locked in the

same scenes, brainwashes us to neer want

to see anything else, coninces us we can't

see anything else because there isn'tanything else to be seen% Are we the

creators of our own ongoing illusion do we

een eist at all% #ow can we still be sure

thinking is being% Does eistence in an

illusion still mean eistence% Do we want a

puppeteer $ust so that we can aoid taking

responsibility for ourseles% Do we want

him so bad that he was brought into

eistence by our combined will, neer

reali7ing that his punishments are actually

our own selfish desires% The leaf comes to

a stop and in that instant rad feels a

strange relief, a detachment from

eerything like a breath of fresh air. *t

is strange and unepected but welcomed witha brief weary smile, interrupted by the

eer present need for an eplanation to

eerything, '*t's all chemistry,' he says

to himself, 'it's all a bunch of chemicals



miing in the brain to form other chemicals

responsible for all our moods and feelings.

-othing more and nothing less (oftware

programs running our bio machine from thecentral processing unit in our skulls.' #e

wants to ask himself 'who is the

programmer%' but cannot he knows it will

only lead to that dreaded infinite regress,

the awful parado of the painter painting a

picture of the painter painting a picture

#e lifts his head to admire the giantcrowns of the oak trees that unite to form

a liing shield aboe him.



33

"0ne would think they are brothers old

siblings who watch the decades pass bytogether, when in fact they are in a

constant slow motion struggle for surial

competing for the most sun light," the

cheerful looking stranger says, approaching

the bench, "mind if * sit here%" he asks.

">o ahead," rad replies a bit startled but

intrigued by the peculiar glitter in theman's eyes, under the thick white eyebrows.

"Thank you, my legs are not what they used

to be, ah, it sure feels good to sit down,"

the intruder relaes stretching his body on

the bench. "+ooks like a long autumn this

year, wouldn't you say%"

"5ould be yes," rad says, trying to hidebeing uncomfortable.

"!ost definitely the wild roses are

blooming again you can always tell by

that."

"* will remember that," rad pretends to be

interested.

"Where are my manners%" The stranger says

and introduces himself shaking rad hand,

my name is ;rik >uerra.

"rad Wilson. =leased to meet you, mister

>uerra./

"=leased to meet you too, the old man

replies. =lease, call me ;rik."

"*nteresting name, where are you from%"

"* am from eerywhere, actually.""9unny neer heard of this country

Everywhere."

;rik chuckles and says, "Well, * was born

in !orocco, in a city called Tangier.



=ractically in the strait of >ibraltar, in

between continents beautiful place. *

consider myself a citi7en of earth rather

than of some country. =eople always say'*'m *talian, *'m American, *'m this and

that' but * try to aoid it, it $ust

separates us"

"+ong way from home, then."

":ou could say that, yes and true enough *

miss it. *t has been many years since *

been there. :ou cannot call $ust any placeout there, 'home'. (ome go through their

entire lies without eer haing a place

where they can really feel at home. *t is a

ery important feeling to hae and those

who do hae it should treasure it."

rad starts to thaw a little and puts down

his guard, sensing a good ibe from his newac8uaintance. "What brings you here%

usiness, maybe%"

"-o. -o business nothing in particular.

:ou see * am what you would call a

drifter. Always hae been and probably

always will be."

rad cannot hold his curiosity anymore and

says, "how come, if * may ask%"

"Well eer since early childhood * felt

this need to eplore. y the time * was

eighteen * felt * was suffocating there, in

Tangier. (chool was also boring the life

out of me, so * dropped out and went to

(pain. Always held an insatiable curiosity

about people and still do, so * figured afew months in (pain would gie me an

insight into the +atin spirit which is part

of me. !y father was (panish and my mother

was (wedish. ut it doesn't stop there, the



father was half >reek from his mother side

and my mother was half Eussian, so you can

imagine what weird mi of blood my heart

pumps eery day.""(o what did you find in (pain%"

"The plan was to $ust wander around there

for two or three months but * ended up

staying for more than three years. Worked

here and there, earned enough to not stare

to death * had a great time, it was worth

it, leaing my town behind. After that, *went to >reece& * had to see what that was

all about. * gathered magnificent memories

and met many wonderful people. :ou only

really get to know someone when you lie

like them. And so, for half a century *

hae wondered around the world. *t started

as a $ourney of discoery and it turnedinto a search for that one place where you

truly feel you belong and no * haen't

found it yet. =eople like me were called

traelers, nomads and wanderers but now we

are called immigrants. * think it is

unfair. =eople should hae the right to go

around the earth free, whereer they want

without anyone asking them anything, but as

long we beliee in words like borders and

nationality, language that will be

impossible."

"The nets of James Joyce rad interrupts

surprised.

"* don't read much that's like wanting to

know people without meeting them," ;riksmiles.

"* neer looked at it that way," rad

confesses a bit embarrassed. "(o tell me,



how were you able to fund all your

traels%"

"Cntil well into my late twenties, *

supported myself completely, working in allkinds of $obs, all oer the place.

Absolutely anything * could get my hands on

from washing cars, unloading crates in

ports, hotel porter, crane operator,

drier to bartender and een cook. * did

eerything you can possibly imagine. * kept

in touch with my parents as often as *could. When * was twenty nine * found out

they died in a bus accident in *taly. *

guess * got the drifter gene from them, as

they completely understood my need to keep

going. Took it 8uite hard * inherited

their sugar beet business along with all

their life long saings, which afterwordallowed me to trael een more and further

away than * had eer been. * was in >ermany

at the time and from there * went straight

to *ndia. * had heard so much about it and

* was dying to see it with my own eyes. *

must say, the ritish did not call it their

crown $ewel for nothing. * was so impressed

by the attitude of the people so different

than what * had gotten used to in the west.

eing under occupation for so long did not

damage their nature at all. Their passie

resistance did the trick. They were

occupied but neer con8uered."

"ut how did you manage communication%

(urely language was the first problem youencountered in a new place."

"*ndeed, language was the first obstacle.

+uckily, * seem to hae a gift for it. *t

did not take longer than a few months to a



year two years at the most to reach at

least a basic leel. (ome * mastered and

some not. * speak about fifteen languages

fluently and a few more at a basic andintermediate leel. (trangely enough,

Japanese was not that difficult as

eerybody thinks."

"Wow) That sounds impressie. * am ashamed

to say * don't speak any foreign languages

ecept for a few words in (panish and

>erman that eerybody knows, and ;nglishbeing used world wide not going out of the

country too often there was no need. :ou

know, one of the world's biggest polyglots

in history holds a record of oer fifty

eight spoken languages plus a whole bunch

of dialects, a #arold Williams from -ew

Oeeland, * think.""9ifty eight) #e must hae been an

interesting person, definitely. ut makes

you wonder about all the triial things he

could not do right, for eerything

compensates you know. The trick is to align

your way of life to their way of life. :ou

must first become one of them in eery way,

think, drink, eat like them and listen.

Just 8uietly listen to them and you will

understand. The more languages you learn,

the easier it becomes to learn new ones.

:ou start seeing a pattern * was neer

good at eact sciences, though, like

mathematics for eample. The eer present

law of compensation most probably. -ow, *'mhappy to say * lie for a liing * am

among the lucky few that afford to pursue

their dream, constantly."

"Which is the simplest language you know%"



"That would be ;nglish. * picked it up

along 9rench and (panish, because many

!oroccans speak these languages, and from

the !editerranean ports long before * leftmy country. * do not know why, but it $ust

came as second nature to me. y contrast, *

would say the most difficult would hae to

be well, not really sure (candinaian

languages came easy also due to the fact

that * learned (wedish from my mother.

!aybe 5hinese or *celandic. -ot sure whichis more difficult but they are impossible

if one is not ery skilful."

":ou lied in *celand, too%"

"* did, yes, for about ten months * think

it felt like complete isolation from the

rest of the world so * had to get out. *

neer went aboe basic with those two,5hinese and *celandic. *t has been a huge

challenge. ut you must stop me when * am

raing about like that. Tell me, what do

you do%"

":ou mean for a liing%" rad snaps out of

the trance of the fire of imagination

fueled by the drifter's words.

The immigrant nods patiently, "Are you a

teacher%"

":ou can sure read people, * see. * teach

physics at the academy of sciences but most

of the time * spend in research."

"An eact science man. That is something *

admire greatly."

"Well, eact science means there is alwaysthe danger of boredom, unfortunately,

especially in teaching it."



"* take it that's not the case with your

research. !ight * ask what kind of

research%"

";nergy related yeah, that sums it up $ustfine."

"5an neer hae enough energy. Without it,

there would be no traeling."

"That's one way to put it, yes."

"Do you like to trael, rad%"

"* think so certainly not as much as you,

* must admit. * do feel at home here, asyou said, that makes me one of the

fortunate ones. (o many places to see out

there but so little time and resources for

it."

"* beliee it is one of the most important

aspects of our life. 0ne cannot function

properly without the feeling of belonging.:ou can go a long tine ignoring it but it

will come back with a engeance and keep

you miserable until you face it and do

something about it. * hae been to so many

places, did so many things but * still hae

not found what * am looking for and that is

a place to plant my roots een if only for

short time."

"Would you gie back all your eperience

for this one thing%" rad asks without

reali7ing the delicacy of the sub$ect. The

immigrant is isibly uncomfortable and

after a moment of silence, he answers with

a shaking oice, "* don't know -o one

asked me this 8uestion before not eenmyself."

"* didn't mean to upset you you don't hae

to answer that, forget * asked."



"-o, it's 0B. *t's good that you asked...

!aybe it is what * needed to hear, eactly

when * needed to hear it. (till * can't

answer that yet."A few seconds of stillness pass and rad

feels them like hours. To change the

sub$ect he asks, "What's your preferred

method of transport% =lane or bus maybe%"

"*n the old days, * used to trael by train

and by boat, wheneer possible. 9lying was

too epensie for me for a long time. *liked the trains but * liked boats best

because there were more opportunities of

meeting people, especially other drifters

like me. *t always fascinated me, to

obsere people and on a plane, you can't

really sociali7e or obsere properly, *

find it a ery impersonal way to trael. 0fcourse as * grew older, * could not endure

entire weeks at sea for eample, so the

plane was the more efficient alternatie."

"And after all these years or traeling and

meeting all kinds of persons, what can you

tell me about people in general%"

":ou mean how * see them, as in good or

bad%"

":es, something like that, but elaborate

why, please."

"Alright, * shall try. 9irst, * think the

only one that truly belongs somewhere,

totally undisputed, is a tree. Absolutely

no one has any right in this world to

challenge that. 0nce the seed has sprouted,against so many odds, * beliee it has

earned its right to lie there foreer. And

how * eny them * know that sounds like

*'e gien up hope of finding my own place,



but we hae to be realistic. *f * was not

able to do it in all these years and * am

not getting any younger. Anyway, getting

back to our point =eople are soincredibly different and at the same time

irtually identical. As you moe farther

and farther from a gien place, you will

see that een a small distance will make

human beings act, think and een look

differently. 9ifty kilometers, a hundred,

or miles, if you prefer& again somethingthat keeps us apart, different measuring

standards, like we're not all obeying the

same laws of nature. That small distance

can be enough to see a noticeable

difference. We eole and lie according to

our enironment. orders will always act as

the greatest delimitation of all. Theytrick people into thinking in small terms

and haing false ideas about themseles and

all the others around them. The biggest

mountain and the largest ocean will neer

diide as much as the imaginary line of a

country border. And what's worse, is that

*'e seen so many people diided among

their own kind in their own nation. As

always, there will be those who profit from

that, unfortunately, and will do all they

can to keep it that way. #opefully, most of

these problems will somehow disappear when

we reach the leel of a true planetary

society, no borders and no barriers of any

kind."">lobali7ation, you mean."

"* guess you can call it that way, if you

like. Think about it. *f the whole world

would be one giant nation with no borders,



much of the current problems would be

soled. #unger would disappear, war also

because it would be in the interest of the

entire global nation. An entity that wageswar against itself is committing suicide.

*t is doomed. The ery idea is cra7y. All

the resources combined there would be

plenty for all. -o more third world

staring and diseased countries, no more of

the tons of wasted food in the wealthy

nations. *f a part of the body is in painthe whole body suffers and cannot stand in

ignorance to it. * know the 'nay sayers'

who oppose this will inoke things like the

loss of identity of peoples and the

disappearance of diersity. -on6sense * say

to that) Ctter non6sense. =eople will neer

lose those things een in a global countryspeaking the same language. The communities

will always keep their habits and their

traditions, their languages and dialects.

-o one could take that away from them een

if they tried and on a large scale, we

would all be one nation, united for the

good of mankind as a whole. :ou can neer

lose who you are, and cannot replace the

blood running through your eins.

Traditionalists and modernists can moe

about freely and coeist in harmony in this

society * speak about. !aybe not always in

the same spot but still the point is there

would be a place for eeryone."

"This might happen sooner than you thinkwith all the continental unions taking

shape in the last decades. !aybe one day,

all those unions will come together to form

the super state you talk about."



"* like that the super state. * think it

is a fitting name. ut back to our main

theme. * hae seen good people and * hae

seen bad people. (ome mean well and some donot. * was mugged many times and * hae

receied many times. * was beaten but *

hae also been cared for. * was stabbed and

* was een hit by a car that was not by

accident. * hae met a few that appeared to

really be the deil incarnate, walking the

earth with the soul purpose of hurtingpeople. -eertheless, * do not think we are

in any way intrinsically eil. ;il is no

innate to human nature. * beliee deep

down, we are all caring and loing

creatures. >ien the right circumstances *

think we would always choose right before

wrong and we will always do well beforeanything bad. 0nly we hae not yet figured

out the fact that more or less, all is in

place for us to create and maintain those

circumstances. When we do, that is when the

whole game changes and boy, how *'d like to

be around when that happens."

"*'m afraid at the moment, * can't

pronounce in faor of the intrinsically

good theory. * would rather say we might

hae an e8ual amount of good and bad in us,

and from the looks of things, we're doing a

ery poor $ob managing the bad half," rad

says seriously.

"*t sure looks like that, but * am

optimistic about the future. 0ptimistic andconfident. They will hae to take that away

from my cold dead body. -o sooner."

"*t's seems about time we let go of our

conditioning and the dictatorship of the



primitie instincts hae on us," rad says

reminiscing about his robotic work force

world. "#ard to see in the near future that

fifty percent plus one ma$ority.""#ard but not impossible. -eer think of

anything as impossible. That is how we

successfully limit ourseles constantly. *n

my lifetime * hae seen things that were

deemed impossible by most, take shape and

become reality so * think what was

impossible yesterday is probable today andcertain tomorrow."

"Hery poetic and * admire your positie

spirit."

"etter to be positie rather than negatie

and better to be happy than sad, right%"

The immigrant says smiling.

"* guess you hae a point." rad tries toimagine implementing that into his life.

"The law of attraction," the drifter adds.

"*f you're sad and depressed you will

attract sad and depressed people. *f you're

thinking bad thoughts you will see those

around you harbor bad thoughts also."

"(o *'e heard."

"* know it's not ery scientific, but it's

the truth and * a hae seen it eerywhere,

no matter what kind of people *'e been

around. Works for +atin people, works for

>ermanic people, for (laic and for Asiatic

people alike. ;erybody)/ #e says making an

air drawing of a sphere with his hands."

"* beliee you. :ou might be right radrelaes on the bench looking upward to the

partly cloudy sky. "#ae you amassed any

regrets from your $ourneys%"



"-ot really * don't think so * don't

know," ;rik says trying to locate some from

his myriad of memories. Eegrets are the

worst kind of baggage to carry around and *always trael light, if you know what *

mean. :ou may not be able to forget eery

time, but you should always forgie.

9orgieness is the best antidote against

many illnesses of the soul, including

regrets. !any torture themseles thinking *

should hae done this, * should hae donethat, but * think we all do eactly what

we're supposed to do, een if we can't

understand why."

"That's eactly why * can't accept it the

lack of understanding. * can't get oer it,

* can't moe on with out it."

":es, * know what you mean, but acceptancewill lift a huge burden from your soul, you

will see," The drifter ads confidently.

":ou're still young, you hae your whole

life ahead of you, don't gie it away to

frustration."

"* * don't know anything anymore," rad

grabs his head in his palms and rests his

elbows on his knees.

The drifter knows there is not much he can

say to lift rad's spirit and he tries to

let it all pass with a minute of complete

silence after which he changes the sub$ect

elegantly, "* once asked a stewardess on a

flight, can't remember to where, eactly *

asked her why is the plane diided inclasses. Why are there first class seats

and second class seats%"

"And what did she say%" rad asks right

away not hiding his childish curiosity.



"(he didn't answer. (he either did not care

or chose to completely ignore it. (he

hesitated for a second and aoided it with

another 8uestion, something flight related,can't recall now."

"And why do you think there are classes%

(ome !achiaellian scheme probably%"

"=recisely) Diide and con8uer, my boy)

That is how * see it. There are plenty of

resources to make all transportation first

class but our leaders do not want people tobe united. They need us to be enious of

each other and to always coet at our

neighbor's possessions," he winks.

"*'e neer considered that."

"!ost people don't."

"Just another tool for control," rad

continues resigned. "=retty hard tofunction in normal parameters for those who

can see these things."

":es but those who see it hae a duty to

talk about it. And the more people talk

about it, the more will know."

"(o maybe we'll reach that fifty percent

plus one ma$ority. The critical mass of the

hundredth monkey eperiment," rad adds

with a hint of irony.

";actly) Although * am not familiar with

the eperiment you mentioned./

"The hundred monkey eperiment allegedly

consisted of groups of monkeys, isolated on

islands with no way of communication

between them. (o scientists gae them dirtypotatoes which one monkey learned to wash

before eating. The scientists obsered this

behaior instantly spread across the water

to other groups of monkeys as soon as



critical mass was reached. As soon as there

were a hundred monkeys that learned to wash

their food on the original island. The so

called hundredth monkey effect."":es, it makes perfect sense to me," ;rik

says $oyfully. "Thank you for sharing

that."

"5ompared to you * hae almost no life

eperience * doubt * can share a lot."

"-onsense) ;erybody has something to

share, that is what makes life sowonderful. ;en the most boring people hae

something interesting to say if you listen

carefully. There probably aren't any boring

people at all."

"=oliticians are boring," rad $okes.

":es," ;rik laughs, "but still * bet you

haen't got any boring friends, am *right%"

"5an't say * hae many friends but those

that * hae are certainly not boring."

"There, you see% * was right again,/ the

old man says with his sincere childish

ecitement. ;eryone has an interesting

story. ;eryone."

"(o going back to your traels what

country would you say had the most

enophobic people%"

"Penophobic that sounds like a ery harsh

word. * do not know if * would use it. 0f

course there are plenty of little nations

that resent or oppose, let us say, outside

influence but oer the years *'e seen thisattitude change in een the most

nationalistic indiiduals. * am not talking

about etremists, they are almost

eerywhere and * think they hae little



hope, but awareness that eerything is

connected has grown, that is for sure. This

kind of approach to foreign influence is

most often caused by the lack ofinformation. Also, it is most common in

small countries that hae been under

occupation for a long time, or that formed

relatiely recently from a few scattered

tribes. 9rom one point of iew it is

understandable they could not hae formed

or eisted for long, otherwise. (ome haewent to etremes such as inenting their

own language, deried from something they

used to speak, before coming together as an

independent nation. And they complicated it

and transformed it so much that what

results is a most peculiar mi of different

dialects so comple only the naties areable to speak it."

"That's one way of keeping foreigners away.

!aybe that is how artificial languages

appeared."

"*ndeed. They also refuse to learn any

circulation languages to completely aoid

anything from the outside."

"*t's a shame, * would say."

":es, but really it's all changing, *'e

seen it throughout the years. 0f course

these are my personal obserations and feel

free to take them eactly for that."

"Cnderstood but * would say half a century

of continuous contact and obsering the

world first hand, gies you plenty ofcredibility."

"Things really do change, and for the best

* think. *t is $ust that our life spans are

too short to clearly acknowledge that.



=eople take for granted and get used to

change ery fast, especially if they remain

in one place for a long time but trust me,

the difference from year to year isenormous on a global scale."

"!akes sense," rad agrees.

“These are eciting times we lie in, rad

and * am grateful for being allowed to be a

part of them. Albeit a small part, yes but

* like to think * made a difference here

and there. ;en a tiny one and it is stillgood. * tried to neer harm anyone in

anyway and helped as much as * could when *

could. =erhaps that is the key, a simple

principle for eeryone to follow& do

whateer you want, when you want without

interfering with what and when others want

and do.""A lot can be interpreted from what you

$ust said. ut the essence remains and *

agree with it."

"* dare say it is a recipe for peace and

happiness," ;rik says proudly.

"A great writer once said happiness is a

long line made of the small pleasures of

life."

"(ounds $ust right to me. ut who takes the

time now to saor the small pleasures%"

"True. We hardly get any time for that

time it's so relatie, isn't it%" rad

asks wondering in his mind how many

watchmakers stopped making watches when

time was proen relatie. The best planning* can put together still does not gie me

enough time. A sensitie sub$ect for me,

neer enough time and on top of that

eerything seems to hae sped up in the



last couple of years and keeps speeding up,

can't eplain it."

"*t is true. * hae noticed it as well.

!aybe it's our fast paced life styles, *don't know," ;rik $oins in.

"5ould be and all the deadlines and

impossible goals we set."

"The more impossible, the better is you ask

me my dear boy," ;rik bursts out $oyously,

"* think the less impossible our goals are

the more we limit ourseles.""=erhaps you are right once more."

"0f course * am. Are you haing doubts

about my words, still%" The old man laughs.

rad returns a faint smile and speaks to

the weird old man with honesty, "*

absolutely admire your courage. *t's not

easy to hae such high spirits in the faceof life. And definitely not easy to be so

bold and optimistic. * am afraid * must

leae you now to return to my work.

hopefully *'m not already on the missing

persons list." They stand up and shake

hands silently, long enough for rad to

notice a glimmer of sadness in the

immigrant's eyes, his face taking on an

epression of sorrow mied with a sort of

melancholic happiness. 9or a second, the

stranger's stare seems to pierce right

through his eyes balls and into his skull,

like searching for something specific deep

inside his soul.

"* hope to see you again, chat some more,"rad says to him a bit embarrassed and

confused.

"0h, * don't think we will it has been

most entertaining, thank you ery much,



young friend and be well, always)" The

immigrant replies. rad turns to leae and

feels the stranger's ga7e still pushing on

him, as he gets further away. *n the end ofthe park alley $ust before he turns the

corner, rad stops and looks oer his

shoulder to catch another glimpse of the

peculiar indiidual but he is nowhere in

sight. 'An immigrant magician,'" rad

thinks to himself and resumes his course

towards the laboratory.#e eits the park and impatiently stares at

the red light that is mercilessly biting

from his precious time. While he waits, he

tries to make sense of the stranger's

words, 'what did he mean to say, we won't

meet again, how ery odd and he seemed so

coninced'



31

The bus stop is emptier than usual and the

woman is looking in the distance, trying toanticipate the arrial of her transport.

(he waits in the same spot daily for the

bus that will take her home, earlier than

usual today, due to the fact she is feeling

a bit strange and took the rest of the day

off from work. *n her wait, she feels

nauseated and wonders what could be thecause. +ooking around her she does not

recogni7e any one and notices how the few

people there, stare in an absent manner.

(he wonders about their lies& if they are

alone or sad or happy. *s anyone waiting

for them when they get home% Do they hae a

place to call home and if not, does anyonecare% What kind of tragedies hae they been

through in this life% (he sees the bus

signaling to make a right for the stop and

her thoughts disappear, replaced by a

blank, while she reali7es the cold sweat

forming on her forehead and back. The

drier brings the bus to a halt and opens

the door. The commuters rush to get inside

but the woman stops right in front and

remains fied, petrified by the sudden rush

of feelings aalanching through her soul.

;erything around her slows down, time

epands and there is no sound as she

eperiences frightening sensations her mind

cannot eplain. (he feels her heartpounding in her chest and can hear her

irregular heay breathing. (he becomes

aware of minute pains, like needles

throughout her body, uncomfortable but not



unpleasant. ;ery sense heightens and it

feels like a bombardment of stimuli from

eerywhere. An inasion of warm light

particles swirling in front of her eyescombined with a feeling of infinite space

filled with a presence she cannot

understand.

"#ey, lady) +et's go already& *'e got a

schedule to keep," the bus drier snaps her

out of her trance, and she slowly moes

towards the door, climbing inside andalmost collapses before haing a chance to

sit down.

":ou 0B, lady%" the drier asks

impatiently, eager to be on his way while

heay tears wet her cheeks.

":es *'m fine," she answers in a low

oice, almost whispering and nods, smilingand sobbing at the same time. (he gets to a

chair and sits down, looking ahead while

the driers steps on the gas to make for

the lost time. A wonderful feeling of

tran8uility enelops her and perfect

calmness sets in. The nausea and di77iness

completely disappear and her face lights up

with a sense of well being. (he can hear

music coming from the headphones of a

middle aged, tall man, wearing colorful

clothes, sitting net to her& she can make

up faint lyrics, 'the line it is drawn, the

curse it is cast, the slow one now will

later be fast and the first one now will

later be last' (he looks him in the eyeswhile touching her belly as he remoes the

headphones but before he can ask anything,

she eplodes in another wae of tears,

shiering slightly, "*'m pregnant)"



34

;ngulfed in deep thoughts, rad crosses the

street looking down, hands in his pocketsand in a hurry to get back he almost misses

the net red light. 9orty fie seconds seem

like a whole hour and he starts moing

again as soon as the green walking sign

lights up. As he reaches the sidewalk, he

looks up to see -orbert running like mad

through the net intersection, looking oerhis shoulder eery few steps. rad goes

after him, increasing his pace to nearly

running, trying not to loose him. #e

crosses another street and is getting

closer, he shouts for -orbert but he cannot

hear, he is still trying to get away

desperately. rad rushes to catch him atthe net crossing& he is already tired from

the unepected effort, stops and yells out

-orbert's name once again. -orbert is $ust

about to cross the street when he hears it

and stops, turns to look, recogni7ing

rad<s oice. The scientist stops suddenly

in his tracks, terrified as he sees the

buss coming and shouts at -orbert. The

tiers skid frantically on the tarmac as the

drier hits the brakes but it is too late.

rad is still. #e cannot moe while trying

to process what $ust happened and he is

watching people getting off the buss and

making a circle around the motionless body.

The drier, with a terrified face reclaimshis senses and pushes through the people

shouting, "5all an ambulance) >et out of

the way. +et him breathe for god sakes)"

9rom the growing crowd, rad distinguishes



a tall man dressed in a long flowered

shirt. #is multicolored clothing makes him

stand out and he is a couple of feet from

the body. #is hands raised, he flutters hispalms facing -orbert and while saying

something, he raises his hands skyward in a

controlled rhythm. After a few moments,

rad recogni7es him and moes toward the

site of the accident. (till in shock and

with so many 8uestions, rad looks

eerywhere for the tall man but he hasdisappeared. #e slowly makes his way

through the crowd and sees -orbert's body

laying face down in a pool of his own blood

that is getting larger. #e recogni7es the

head of his *T department while thousands

of 8uestions surge through his mind. #e

yells, "* know this man)"The bus drier $ump in front and grabs rad

by the shoulders, begging him, "* didn't

see him, he came out of nowhere, * didn't

see him)" rad still cannot speak and $ust

nods to the drier, trying to get loose.

"*t's not my fault) * didn't see him)"

The siren of the ambulance is getting

louder and louder and as the paramedics

rush out with a stretcher and the police is

clearing people away, rad notices

something in -orbert<s right hand. #e

8uickly crouches and retriees it in an

unplanned and spontaneous gesture, looks

around for the tall man again, and walks to

the sidewalk to get to away from it all, toreturn to his laboratory and think it

through.



3

"#ey, there you are) ;erything alright%"

Tim asks running into his pale lookingcolleague, on his way out. "* got to run,

talk to you tomorrow morning 0B%"

":eah see you tomorrow," rad replies

di77y and absent, ignoring eerything

around him and heading straight for his

chair. (itting down, he feels his mouth dry

and his throat ache from the heaybreathing. #e stares into the screens, but

cannot concentrate to read anything. After

a few minutes of intense thinking, he

starts checking the status of all the

systems and brings up on the right screen

different charts and prediction cures that

tell him the eact condition of the reactorand its energy output. #e completely loses

track of time, lost in his work. #ours pass

and he finds himself all alone in the large

hall once again, like so many times before.

Eeali7ing the soothing silence he takes a

brake from the keyboard to lie back in his

chair, rubbing his face and sighing deeply.

'At least there's nothing wrong in here,'

he thinks, and looks around at all the

machines that hum in unison, all the large

screens and the empty chairs of his

colleagues. This is where he felt safest

and it is a comforting feeling to be back.

#e locks his workstation and takes a last

look at the reactor before closing the doorbehind him.

Arriing home, he goes straight for the

shower, leaing a trail of clothes

eerywhere, and $ust sits under the



refreshing stream of warm water, retracing

the steps of the day, playing back in his

head eerything that happened. (uddenly his

mind goes blank and he knows it is time toaccept the fatigue and try to sleep. *n

bed, rad struggles in and out of

consciousness, his body aching and feeling

the night will neer end. #e forces his

eyes shut one last time and the image of

the woman from the hospital eleator brings

calmness oer his soul and tran8uility tohis body.



3F

The iciness of the rushing water stings him

to the bone as he is gasping for air.5ompletely paraly7ed he watches it

engulfing his legs and waist. The dark

li8uid reaches oer his chest and presses

on him with tremendous force. 0erwhelming

terror and fear crush his heart, as he gets

completely submerged and fighting to hold

his breath. #e opens his eyes and looks up,his body is set lose and he begins to swim

frantically for the surface. #e feels his

lungs about to eplode and he swims harder

and harder for the small sparkle of light

that must be the surface. #e has to reach

it soon or it is all oer. *ncredible

ehaustion grips his entire body and thefaster he swims the further away the

surface is. *t is moing away from him with

each stroke, 'why is it so unfair, why is

it all so cold%' #e asks him self while

feeling utterly hopeless and slowly giing

up swimming slower and slower as he comes

to terms with his fate. #e accepts it and

looks down into the icy depths, at the

blackness, the emptiness of the oid

beckoning him, calling him to its deadly

embrace #is body still, a last glimpse at

the distant surface that has scorned him,

condemned him to a forced union with the

darkness, foreer. #e releases the air in

his lungs and starts to sink back. #e cansee the bubbles climbing upward in a

desperate dance, only to tell the world of

his defeat, to communicate to the unierse

his final resignation. #e is too deep to



see light anymore and keeps sliding down

into the nothing that awaits him

impatiently. As his lungs fill with water,

he closes his eyes. *t is oer. *t is alloer.



3I

Hery slowly opening his eyes, hurting from

the light flooding the room rad wakes updi77y and still tired. #e checks his watch

and cannot remember the last time he slept

so late. #is mind is cluttered and a

migraine is settling in for a prolonged

grip. +ooking in the mirror, eerything

comes back to him in an instant, flooding

all the corners of his head with thedreams, -orbert<s accident, the woman in

the eleator, his mother hugging him. #e

remembers Tim leaing in a hurry the other

day and for some reason a heay feeling of

sadness starts to lash at him. 'What was

-orbert running away from%' he wonders and

fills a glass of water which he takes tothe liing room and sets it on the table

net to his laptop. #e sits down, powers

the computer and grabs the glass to drink

it, but stops before putting it to his lips

and inspects it for a few seconds, turning

it on all sides. (uddenly, an outburst of

fear and anger runs through his whole being

and for a few moments, he cannot breathe.

The glass shatters at his feet, sending

sharp pieces eerywhere on the floor in a

watery mess and rad $ust stares at it for

what seems like hours to him, fighting to

postpone the onset of desperation, fighting

to maintain control and a clear head. #e

recoers while a new email message appearson the screen. The flashing sub$ect says,

'Eemember, remember, the fifth of (eptember

is still a work day)' The message is from

Tim and rad continues to read through it,



'...get down here soon, we need you)' #e

takes a minute to regain full control of

his body and mind and rushes to work.

"(orry, * lost track of time, bring me upto speed," he addresses his colleague and

good friend right after storming through

the door and heading directly for his desk,

without een looking around.

"rad, glad to see you, it's getting a bit

cra7y in here."

"5ra7y% What do you mean%""What, you don't know% * found out this

morning, -orbert was inoled in some kind

of traffic accident it seems he was

killed."

":es, * know "

":ou know% Well when were you going to tell

it to me% :ou look tired, were you partyingall night long% What's going on, rad% What

is it you're not telling me%"

"+ook, * know because * was there * was

not partying and no, * don't know what's

going on, either. +ots of strange things

happening lately, faster than * can

process."

"Wait, you were there% #ow come% What is

this%"

"* was walking back to the lab and * saw

the whole thing but neer mind that now,

tell me, why can't * log into the system%"

":es, that's another thing we hae to

figure out, my access has also been

restricted, and guess what, since morning,those two agents, for lack of a better

word, are back and hae been haing priate

meetings with eerybody, upstairs. *'m due



soon. And it can't be good, *'m telling

you)"

"=riate meetings, what are you talking

about%" rad asks surprised, while retryinghis password on one time. "*'m locked out

of eerything, what the hell is going on in

here%"

"That's what *'m trying to tell you, they

hae restricted eerybody's access until

further notice."

rad goes to another workstation and triesto log in repeatedly.

Tim grabs him by the shoulders and raises

his oice a bit, "Don't you see% ;erybody

is locked out. We hae to be patient, see

what reason they come up with for all this.

*'m sure eerything will be restored soon,

maybe it has something to do with the *Tguy."

"They can't do this to us, this is our life

they're messing around with here, our

life's work)" rad loses temper and shouts

out, getting up. "* demand an eplanation

and *'m going to get one)"

"Where are you going% :ou can't go in $ust

yet. Wait till they call you, and don't go

in mad, you'll only make things worse."

":ou know me, always making things worse,

and the suits don't intimidate me, don't

worry."

rad takes the eleator to the last floor

and heads straight for the 5;0's large

office. 0utside the door, the two men inblack suits are haing what seems to rad,

more of an interrogation rather than a

normal discussion. They see each other and

the 5;0 ecuses him self from the two men.



"=aul, what's going on% What's this all

about%"

"=lease keep it down, walk with me." They

moe away to aoid being oerheard by thetwo agents, "rad, * trust you'e seen the

nice gentlemen * was chatting with. :ou'd

better behae, cause they run the show now

Well their boss does, anyway.

-eertheless, * epect your full

cooperation."

"Who runs the show now% What do you mean%*'m the chief of this pro$ect, and * will

not hae my work insulted this way."

"+ook, * understand you're point of iew

but come on, don't act like you don't know

how things work. We're $ust another

contractor for ;ngram Eows, they pay your

salary and most important, they pay mysalary. That's how the world turns, rad

and you can't change it. The little fish,

us, feed on the scraps of the big fish,

them. And now, the big fish deems necessary

to get inoled and personally take

control, understand% And they will hae our

full cooperation) :our entire work here

would not een hae been possible without

their funding. *t was fun while it lasted,

now it's time to let go. There will be

other pro$ects, * guarantee it."

"* know who ;ngram Eows is, and * still say

they hae no right to cut me off like that.

We're not finished, there is still a lot of

research, a lot more work to be done"=aul interrupts him, "we're finished if

they say we're finished, so deal with it."

They look each other in the eyes, and rad

moes away, reali7ing they were neer



friends and his approach was based on the

assumption that there is something else but

greed and indifference to his direct

superior. =aul $umps in front of him,"Don't be a fool, Wilson, let it go) :ou

won't be sorry, they will take care of you

you'll see. *n that office there's a nice

fat check with your name on it, waiting.

And in case you're wondering, yes, * did

take it and * found it 8uite generous," the

shallow face of the epensiely dressedeecutie grins widely.

":ou make me sick, =aul. :ou and all the

other greedy bastards out there. * can't

beliee * actually hoped for some humanity

from you while you did nothing but talk

about money." rad says to him in a low,

capitulating oice and heads for theoffice, momentarily happy with himself for

speaking his mind.

":ou're a fool, rad) =aul shouts pointing,

you are a damn fool) :ou hae a price, and

they'e already guessed it."

":eah, you should know," rad pirouettes to

reply and enters the office without

knocking, completely unprepared for what he

now looks at.



3

"Ah, mister Wilson, * was epecting you,

please, do sit down," the ery elegant manin his late fifties welcomes him,

surprisingly well disposed. With a discreet

gesture of his head his aid leaes the room

holding a large pile of folders in his

hand. 0n his way out he throws a frowned,

belligerent look at rad from under the

thick glasses giing the impression ofcuriosity rather than anything else. The

scientist is still holding his place,

trying to ealuate the situation so the

charismatic man approaches him and shakes

his hand, "*'e heard a lot about you,

mister Wilson, now please, let's sit down

and talk. And don't worry about mister!elin there, he gies that look to

eerybody he meets, must hae something to

do with his territorial instincts he's a

brilliant man, couldn't keep my business in

order without him ery loyal, ery loyal

indeed."

#e sits down and right away, the imposing

man opens up a wooden cigar bo and offers

it to rad. "Thank you, but * don't smoke,/

he refuses politely.

"What a coincidence, me neither. ut *'m

told the connoisseurs delight in this

particular brand. !elin always picks and

caries for me a small token like this,

depending on the occasion. A small gift cango a long way, you know."

":es, so *'e heard. ut one should not

easily accept gifts, no matter what kind

and from whom. 0ne will 8uickly assign one



self and carry the burden of debt most

often unknowingly, which is always far

larger than the gift."

"(o it's true !ister Wilson, * like youalready," he says sincerely and isibly

intrigued.

"!ister" rad pauses for his interlocutory

to introduce himself.

"=lease, call me !ason. 0r $ust !., if you

like."

"* take it that's not your real name%""*t is as real as you or * want it to be.

The time when * was using pseudonyms has

long passed. * am now in a position let's

say where concealing my name seres no

meaningful purpose anymore. 0n the contrary

* want people to know who * am."

"Cnderstood. !ister !ason, * would like toask for my clearance back along with all

the priileges re8uired to continue my

work."

"(traight to the point, * like that in a

man but * am afraid * cannot do that. :ou

see your research, which is * must say

absolutely brilliant has recently become a

matter of national security."

"(o you work for the goernment% And the

suits outside are some three letter agency

gorillas, here to protect you."

"-ot 8uite, mister Wilson. ut you are

partially right. * actually used to work

for the goernment. -ow it is more like

they're working for me,/ he says adopting aserious appearance. "-ot all of them, sure

enough some work for my associates, too."

"And what eactly do you and your

associates occupy your time with% :ou're



here to steal what could possibly be a

world changing innoation and bury it

foreer is some remote ault or een worse,

destroy it.""(tealing is a harsh word mister Wilson

and * certainly do not bury innoations.

That is petty corporate work. * answer to

no board of directors or some idiotic chief

eecutie officer that has no idea what is

going on around him. The higher the rank,

the lower the 8uality of information thatreaches you and you know ery well what

information means."

":es" rad replies, reali7ing he's dealing

now with some one far outside the norm and

trying to be as cautious as possible.

":ou are a man of few words * see, mister

Wilson and those few words you weigh themproperly * admire that. >o ahead * know

you hae about four hundred 8uestions for

me right now but unfortunately my time is

limited to only a do7en or so," he smiles.

":ou inoke national security. :ou're

lying, aren't you%"

"* indeed hae told many lies in my life,

and you will no doubt connect this with the

fact that * used to work for the

goernment, but this time it's not really

a lie. We made it our habit to work with

the truth, now. !uch more elegant than

lying."

"(ome kind of presidential adiser, then%

(ome special intelligence operatie%""=residential adiser%" #e laughs,

"=residents, my good man are $ust another

asset we manage. Think of them as our

public relations officers, or better yet a



president is the perfect spokesperson, due

to the fact that most people acknowledge

their authority. And people need an

authority, a father figure if you will totell them what to do. There would be chaos

otherwise and we are the ones who bring the

order."

"We% Who are these 'we' you keep referring

to%"

"* told you my associates. :ou really seem

tired. (till cannot sleep well% * think youneed a acation mister Wilson, you'e

earned it."

"And how might * ask, would you know about

my sleeping disorder% #ae you been

following me%"

"We are in the business of knowing. We hae

been closely following your entire carrier.We know eerything about you. We know what

you like to eat and we know what you like

to drink. We een know things that you

probably do not know about yourself. And *

am sorry about your recent loss, you hae

my sincere condolences. Also, it is rather

obious $udging by your current state."

"Why me% What's so special about me% rad

asks isibly irritated."

"There are many gifted people out there

indeed but once in a while some one stands

out and if it is in accordance with our

plans, we interene to help, in the cases

that present the most interest, those that

are the most promising for us.""#ow ery generous of you) Thanks a lot,

but * don't need your help and een if *

did * would not ask the likes of you for

it."



"!ister Wilson, please, there is no need to

be so caustic. We were getting along $ust

fine a moment ago& * suggest we keep it

that way. To put it simply, it is in thebest interest of eeryone to befriend us,

than anything else. "

":ou mean it's in the best interest of you

and your associates. :ou hae no right to

decide for anyone, and the people hae a

right to know)"

"The people hae a right to know what wetell them," he says without any noticeable

change of tone or appearance."

":ou seem ery confident about that. What

makes you so sure people will beliee you%"

";perience, my dear gentleman. :ou would

be ama7ed what we can make people beliee.

The right spokesperson and the right timeand place, with the right speech can change

entire regimes, start reolutions and make

the greatest tyrants appear as the greatest

saiors."

"The people hae a right to know the truth

mister !ason," rad says calming down,

thinking there aren't lots of meetings like

this and decides to try and make the most

of it.

"The people are too busy running away from

the truth, mister Wilson. *n all my years

of superising * hae neer seen people

going through so much hardship $ust to moe

away from the truth, to aoid it as they do

nowadays. The truth is something theyabsolutely cannot handle and will sacrifice

a lot of things to maintain the comfort

proided by their ignorance." rad takes a

few moments to think the net words



through, while staring at the completely

unchanged semi ironic smile of his most

recent ac8uaintance.

"(o we are sheep begging for a sheepdog,nothing more, right% We're so lucky to hae

such generous sheepdogs like you, mister

!ason," he ads still calm and still

thinking ahead, like a good chess player.

"A capable and caring guide with only the

best intentions for his flock such

fortune thank you, mister (heepdog,/ radsays with increased sarcasm.

"!ister Wilson, call us what you will for

now. :our scientific mind, in its desperate

rush to grasp as much as possible is $ust

trying to define the ariables. * en$oy

intelligence and * am patient with its

shortcomings."":ou are hands down, one of the most

arrogant men * hae eer met. * think

arrogance is for men with certainties, and

it seems like you hae plenty of them."

"Arrogant *'m not sure if * would use that

word. What you people see as arrogance *

see as strength."

"y 'you people', you mean the unworthy

peasants, that is eerybody besides the

(heepdogs the uneducated mob, the

sleepwalking consumers." A short silence

follows rad's words without any answer

from his counterpart.

"* didn't say anything, you did," comes the

late and annoying reply from !ason. "Do youreally think the people of this world are

capable of thinking for themseles% After

all the things you'e seen in our history

of iolence, after all the horrific murders



and atrocities against himself, do you

think man is prepared for truth and

freedom% -ot only, they do not desere such

priileges, but are far from ready toreceie them. 0ut of this inability to

think independently and to take

responsibility religion was born. And to a

considerable etend, * must confess it has

sered our purposes more than we would like

to think. We hae studied this fact for a

long time and we understand it well. *tconstitutes an inaluable adantage to us.

:ou see, mister Wilson people will always

ask for order instead of freedom and

always safety before liberty."

"Allow me to disagree," rad blurts out,

crossing his hands to his chest.

"Alright, feel free to disagree misterWilson," !ason speaks with the same

attitude and the same epression of

amusement on his face.

"ut the system is a lot more e8ual than

you might beliee. Think about it the

lower classes accuse the elite for always

haing more but what they don't reali7e is

that the more wealth the elites gather, the

more it will filter down to them. *t's a

win6win situation," he says coninced.

":es, but by the time the filtered wealth

reaches the lower classes it has already

been dealued so much by inflation and a

whole number of other economic gimmicks

that is has become close to being utterlyworthless," rad scores a much awaited

point.



"*mpressie" he nods in approal, and then

remains silently in wait for the net

delicious sentence.

"* can see you're en$oying this game,mister !ason."

";ery time * play it with a worthy

opponent, my dear gentleman," he replies

with the appearance of honesty, once again.

":ou are so sure you understand people, but

* think you hae no idea. And * doubt you

can control absolutely eerybody.""That sounds so authoritarian, we prefer to

call it protection rather than control. As

for understanding people, it is not as

difficult as appearances would hae you

beliee. :ou see there are $ust a few

primitie instincts in man, that once

understood, can be eploited to such adegree of precision, as to stir the masses

in which eer direction needed, most of the

time inoling surprisingly less effort

than first planned. 5omprehending the human

mental processes and functions their

social patterns, has allowed us to

accurately predict trends in all the

aspects of life. The mob is so predictable

it is almost boring, at times. 9or

instance, simple association of whateer

product with a smiling, happy indiidual in

a commercial will hae people buy the

respectie product not because they

actually need it, but because they want to

be happy. They are not buying a new car ora new $acket. They are buying happiness.

#appiness sells remarkably well. And that

is $ust a ery small eample * can tell

you about many more so comple and yet, so



simple you'll hae a hard time belieing

it."

"ut, *'m sure you can see how such things

fail to amuse me. * know it's hard for youto understand but for those of us with a

conscience, this sort of talk might not

seem funny."

"!y dear mister Wilson, you must hae me

for some cold6hearted misanthrope, when in

reality * am eactly the opposite of that.

ut * can definitely see how one can easilymake that mistake."

"* take it back you're more like

hopelessly insane than a misanthrope."

9or the first time, !ason releases a round

of laughter, the kind that comes from the

belly and in no way offended he says, "*

like you more and more, mister Wilson. * amconinced now, it has not been a waste of

my time to personally handle this matter."

"This matter% :ou sound like you're talking

about business as usual, nothing really

important or anything. 9ree, clean,

renewable energy foreer, for eery single

soul on the planet you say% Just another

matter, right% Just another irresponsible

and dangerous threat that us sheep need to

be protected from."

";actly right. Do you honestly beliee

people are ready for this% Eeady to happily

accept such monumental change in their

lies% Wake up, mister Wilson. #ow many out

there are not completely unaware of thethings that take place beyond their

immediate surroundings% #ow many moments of

clarity do you think the relentless

consumer has on a gien day% After



countless hours spent daily in front of a

TH, how many people do you think will rise

up, take to the streets and demand their

rights back from their oppressiegoernment and institutions%"

"!ore and more) rad interrupts. "And soon,

enough to make a difference."

"Another common trait * find shared among

many self delusion. Do you not see% =eople

want bad things to happen to them. They

demand war, misery and staration. *t iswhat defines them. *t is their hidden

unconscious purpose."

"And * think it is your hidden conscious

purpose to proe you're not mad."

Without een hearing the last remark, !ason

continues, "We must always fight wars.

There must be perpetual war. *t bringsentire countries out of economic collapse

and stimulates progress and innoation. *t

inigorates eolution and natural

selection."

"What are you talking about% *f anything,

it helps artificial selection) The fittest

are in the front lines and somehow, * don't

think any of your close relaties are

there. Am * in error, mister !ason% And

please, stop using 'we' when referring to

fighting wars."

">ranted we may not be in the front lines,

but we're still fighting a war the people

hae no idea about. Cs, the (heepdogs. A

demanding, high cost and merciless warwhich you will come to understand soon, *

trust."

":es, *'m coninced you're all decorated

heroes with high honors and no room left on



your chest for any more medals,/ rad says

forcing himself to remain calm but feeling

his blood boil and his heart race.

"=eople thrie on misery, mister Wilson,"!ason continues on the same tone and with

an een more cheerful epression on his

face, "it is unproductie to keep denying

this fact. #unger and misery must not

disappear, do you understand% And we see to

that by creating false scarcity. The

illusion of scarcity creates surialaniety which in turn creates all the

adantages we re8uire. :ou said it yourself

and you keep mentioning it in your

scientific papers, there is plenty for

eeryone but if people would reali7e that,

the entire social order would collapse."

":ou flatter me, 8uoting my papers andregarding the social order, you mean 'your'

social order would collapse the social

order in which you and your associate

psychopaths are on the ery top eactly

the war you're gallantly fighting in, right

now."

":ou hae potential and * trust you will

see it my way soon, mister Wilson," !ason

points his finger unhinged by the cutting

remarks aimed at him.

"With all do respect, * doubt that," rad

tries to be polite.

"* appreciate your effort at diplomacy and

sincerity."

"Then you will hae to appreciate andrespect my thoughts regarding your

methods. * do not think anyone in his or

her right mind, with the least amount of

sympathy for his fellow human beings would



label your actions as anything more than

psycho6pathological misanthropy. *t is also

clear proof that you actually hate yourself

more than anything else. When more than oneindiidual of a species engages in this

kind of self sabotage and destructie

behaior, the outcome can only be a

gruesome and untimely demise."

"9or all intents and purposes, that is

eactly what * am trying to aoid, my dear

gentleman. :ou condemn our actions asmischieous and murderous but only do so

due to the most unfortunate fact, in this

case, that you fail to look at the big

picture. :ou do not see the whole ensemble&

your iew is not a panoramic one. *t is a

tunnel one. And that is understandable,

considering your societal status andlimited priileges." rad thinks it oer

and answers on a more daring tone, ":ou

mean to tell me, * was born in the wrong

family, or *'m walking around the wrong

circles%"

"Well you see family * cannot stress how

ery important it is to us. y strictly

following certain rules we hae managed to

keep the most aluable assets and the most

crucial components to our plans alie

through countless generations. * dare say

little to nothing was lost to the icious

attacks of time and our enemies," !ason

says proudly.

"y enemies, you mean the common peopledon't you% And by most aluable assets, you

must refer to the unimaginable wealth kept

in the same families by marrying amongst



yourseles are you married to your

billionaire cousin%"

"*t really is a shame you must interpret it

in such a way, mister Wilson."#ow% The right way%"

"We will carry forward and do eerything in

our power to presere the royal bloodlines.

They are eerything to us and in the end,

it is all that matters," !ason adds with a

more serious face.

"(o in the course of all the countlessgenerations, the bloodlines hae neer been

tainted in any way% :ou hae neer allowed

anyone from the outside. (urely een small

accidents must hae happened that you are

not aware off. +ike * said, you cannot

control eerything, mister !ason," rad

says, trying to bring his opponent to astate of discomfort that would prone him to

mistakes and make him more ulnerable.

"*ntrusion has always been detected in good

time and dealt with. The punishment for

such trespassing is seere for both

insiders and outsiders. *t is also a ery

rare incident because we all know and

respect our responsibilities. *n etreme

cases, outsiders are allowed, but will

neer ac8uire the full rights and clearance

of the true bloods. 0f course, they will be

of the highest possible 8uality and are

hand picked after long consideration and

debate and after they hae proen

themseles worthy. !ost of the time, it isonly a faQade, sering our needs. * can

assure you mister rad, through my eins

runs the same blood as it did through my

ancestor's eins, thousands of years ago,"



he says een more condescending and proud,

"you can take my word for it."

"(ure, * am in the habit of always taking

for granted the words of the self appointedrulers of the world."

":ou could not be more wrong. We are

eerything but self appointed. We hae been

given this right and with it, a

responsibility so great, it is beyond most

people's ability to understand. We are the

keepers of the secrets of the world and wehold the truths of the unierse within our

ery own D-A. We hae a sacred duty to

protect them and carry this honor, or

burden if you will, on and foreer."

"Hery poetic. Also ery close to what most

clinical psychologists would call delusions

of grandeur among probably many othercomplicated medical labels,/ rad continues

his assault on !ason's patience.

Cndeterred, the old man continues, "we hae

been entrusted this world and eerything

you see happening now on the planet is

rarely an accident or unforeseen by us. We

are sworn to protect it at any cost and

that is eactly what we are doing, my dear

mister Wilson."

"*t looks to me like the opposite of

protecting the planet is going on right

now. #ow do you eplain the ecessie

deforestation and the millions of tons of

poison being dumped eery year in the

riers and oceans%""*n order to create, we must sometimes

first destroy," !ason says with the

clearest consciousness.



"0f course * knew that," rad replies

ironically. “ut wait you hae been

entrusted this planet by whom%"

"That is one of the secrets we guard. ut *will tell you this much. They were $ust

like us. +ike you and me, only infinitely

closer to perfection. True gods, mister

Wilson. And it is our sacred mission, to

follow in their footsteps."

"(o only the true bloods you mentioned

earlier are worthy of that honor, right%"!ason eades another sharp attack with the

same smile, combined with his usual calm

and silence and then 8uickly changes the

sub$ect, "!ister rad, if you still think

we are so demonically eil, how do you

eplain the hundreds of millions and een

billions gien to charity oer the years byus, the ery rich. >enerous sums gien to

noble causes such as the search for cures

to horrible illnesses and food for the

staring people of the third world

countries%"

"* would honestly not be impressed een if

* didn't know that the moties of people

like you are behind all of it and if *

didn't know for certain they all sere your

goals one way or another. (omehow, it's

still in your best and darkest interests

een if it doesn't looks like it at first

sight to the untrained eye. (top hunger and

disease completely if you really want to

help.""*t doesn't work that way, mister Wilson.

*t's not that simple. These sorts of things

are necessary in aoiding a complete

catastrophe."



":es, so you keep saying."

"* keep saying it because it is so. And you

know deep down also, that * am right."

"Then it must be somewhere really deep,because * can't find anything in me that

agrees with you. *t must really be an

upside down world, if people like you hae

so much power and we all know how well

abuse goes hand in hand with power. *f you

really control all the politics like you

say then the world is een more upsidedown than * thought, as war is the normal

continuation of politics by other means.

Also, this sort of let's call them

organi7ations ran by men like you, as soon

as they are labeled as conspiracies, they

are dismissed faster than you can say

'misanthrope'."!ason laughs deliciously and says, "* loe

your sense of humor. And yes the word

conspiracy has indeed become useful to us.

+ike you said, the moment anything is

labeled this way it is easily dismissed and

will only grow further and further away

from gaining any credibility. To add to

your earlier 8uote * will say conspiracy is

the normal continuation of normal politics

by normal means. -ot sure who said that but

he was right. There are many conspirators

out there, mister Wilson and it is our

intent to keep them all conspiring in the

accepted parameters, so to speak. ;eryone

is more or less useful. ;eryone.""(o you will not accept this term when

referred to you, * take it."

"y now, you should know me better than

that, mister Wilson. 5onspirator ha) (uch



a menial occupation." Another silent brake

in which the two men measure each other

some more and !ason says, eager to hae

some more fun, "Tell me mister Wilson, doyou ote%"

"As a matter of fact, * do yes," he says

hesitating a bit, weighing all the possible

answers.

"Do you think the democrats are against the

liberals and the conseraties are against

both of the liberals and the democrats% Doyou think the different parties in a

country really are rials% Trust me it

does not matter which side wins. The left,

the right they are both hands of the same

body."

"A body which you control, * presume."

"=recisely) !e, my associates or maybeeen someone who works for us but has no

idea about it. *t is a common theme."

"*'m sure of it."

"To ote is to abdicate, my dear mister

Wilson. To ote is to renounce your own

soereignty and we could not ask for more.

!ost of the officials hae their own

personal agenda which always inoles

money. Their greed seres us eery time and

yes the oters desere the politicians

they ote for."

"And why are you telling me all these

things% *s it because you feel somehow

guilty and you need to spill your soul to

somebody% *f so, * am not the right person.-ot by a long shot there is no redemption

here, * carry none of it today, mister

!ason. 0r maybe you're trying to recruit me

into your wonderful organi7ation% *f that



is the case, * am afraid * shall politely

decline * feel there is not enough

freedom and not nearly enough benefits

offered."";n contraire, mister Wilson, * think you

would find the benefits ery rewarding,

indeed. *f this was a $ob interiew, *

would be asking the 8uestions and not the

other way around #ow could * feel guilty

about protecting the world% * search for no

redemption, my young friend. And to answeryou 8uestion regarding the recruiting

=erhaps * really am trying to recruit you.

=erhaps not. ;ither way, hae you not been

working for us for the past seen years%"

"Don't get your hopes up with me, * might

let you down * don't function well inside

compartmentali7ed pyramid organi7ationswhere * will neer know the real truth the

real secrets that are promised but only

reealed to the top of the structure. ;ach

compartment unaware of what the net one

does or knows."

"Would you be surprised if * told you that

the top of the pyramid holds only the

partial truth% 0nly a tiny incomplete part

of it%"

"* suppose not but isn't it better to know

the partial truth rather than only lies%"

"That, my dear gentleman is up to you. Cp

to each and eery one of us up to our

personal standards. And we know most

standards are pretty low out there when itcomes to the truth."

(uddenly, !elin rushes in without een

knocking and goes directly for !ason,

whispering something in his ear. Without



een looking at rad, he rushes out as fast

as he came in.

":ou'll hae to ecuse mister !elin again

when he deems something important enoughfor me to be aware of, he will oerride

eerything else. *n this case, a knock on

the door or an ecuse for intruding."

"-ot to worry, * am a man who appreciates

efficiency."

"* know," !ason smiles.

"(o what was it about% (ome small remotecountry needs another puppet leader%"

"Hery amusing," !ason laugh again, "no,

nothing of the sort."

"+isten," rad cuts into !ason's net

sentence, "what if * walk out of here and *

sell the story of our little conersation

to eeryone% What if tomorrow morning, theentire media will run a front6page article

with accurate 8uotes from a mister !ason,

self6appointed ruler and puppeteer of the

world% Are you not afraid of that%"

!ason pretends to think about it for a

moment with a ery thoughtful epression,

than brakes out into another short burst of

laughter, his palms on the desk pushing his

back into the big, soft chair. !ister

Wilson, do you really think anyone would

beliee you% Who in their right mind would

een consider your story%" #e laughs again.

"5an you een imagine how it would sound to

people% *f by some miracle, it does run

somewhere, not only would you becompromising you entire carrier but also

you will be considered a lunatic. Are you

prepared to do that%"

"=eople hae the right to know the truth)"



":es, yes, but not this type of truth.

esides, it would take less than a phone

call for a newspaper to be bought."

"And if they won't sell%""Then they will be closed down with a

phone call. =ersonal isits are seldom

re8uired."

"(o * should be honored you personally came

here to shut me down sorry. *'m not."

!ason, without saying anything, shrugs

denoting utter indifference. 0r, we couldlet it run after all with some minor

modifications, of course, so as to induce

een more confusion to those who will

actually take the time to inestigate.

5onfusion is one of our most effectie

weapons."

"And nothing confuses people worst thanthe engineered truth."

"Absolutely right," !ason agrees. "There

are only so many ersions of the truth

people will take in before giing up their

search. They will be so depressed and

hopeless that they will dismiss eerything

afterward een the real truth. *t could

stare them in the face and still they would

look away."

"* hope you reali7e, mister !ason, how

difficult it is for me to listen to what

you hae to say."

"Eest assured, * do and * appreciate your

wit and your good humor. #oweer, as * am

sure you will eentually come tounderstand, we are far from the monsters

you think we are. Think about it. We gie

eeryone fair chances. We spread the truth

all oer the place& it is there for all to



see, in plain sight. Who has eyes to see,

who can understand the symbolism will know

the truth."

"0f course. est place to hide something isin plain sight. -o one will look for it

there." !ason gestures another shrug and

says ery dry, "fair chances, still.

(ymbols rule the world, mister Wilson."

"And who controls the symbols, controls the

world."

"=recisely.""What about the church% What is your

attitude towards that% And towards all the

religions out there%" rad asks in the hope

of understanding more.

"As with all else, we try to make

eerything work for us. *ndeed, it was

proen ery useful in the past and stilldoes. There are some countries where the

church has grown so strong, it oerrides

the goernment sometimes, and few to no

laws are passed if it hurts the profits or

the status of the respectie church."

"ut, let me guess :ou somehow deal with

them relatiely easy, also."

":es. >ie some one the illusion of control

and it will be infinitely simple to

manipulate them. :ou will bend them to your

will without them een suspecting it for a

second. =eople need religion due to their

nature >enerally, they do not handle

responsibility too well."

"(o let me see if * got this straight. Anunimaginably wealthy compartmentali7ed

pyramidal organi7ation, with unlimited

resources and influence, manipulating

eerything from the shadows but somehow



still in plain sight, employing deceit and

lies but also engineered truths, who,

between surgical insertions of

!achiaellian intrigues and changing acouple of political regimes eery second

day, take their time to look out for the

well being of the people and the planet's

future... in the time left, paying a few

honorable isits to some unsuspecting

ictims,/ rad ends his description staring

into !ason's carefully following eyes.Another round of laughter and !ason

replies, "-icely synthesi7ed, mister

Wilson, please allow me to saor it," he

laughs some more and goes on, "still, you

make it sound so negatie and eil."

"*t sounds so because it is so," rad goes

on with a straight face."Ah, mister Wilson, this conersation is

delightful. +et me etend once more my

gratitude for your time."

"Don't mention it," comes the sarcastic

reply. rad buries his head in his palms

and rubs his face.

"=lease, do not be frustrated, mister

Wilson, that's a one way ticket to an early

retirement."

":ou make it all sound so simple and

$oyful. * bet you wouldn't last one day on

a regular person's salary, let alone on a

few cents like a ery large percentage of

humanity currently does. When's the last

time you really felt hunger gnawing at yourstomach, mister !ason% When did you last

feel the sheer anguish of the uncertainty

of tomorrow% When was the last time you

felt worthless for not being able to



proide your family with a loaf of bread%"

-ot playing !ason's game, rad maintains

the serious tone adopted from the ery

beginning and waits aniously for hisanswer. Eesuming the straight, confident

posture he talks slowly, no longer smiling,

giing the impression of boredom, "!ister

Wilson, but * myself hae not skipped any

stages. >ranted, * was born in a family

that could proide eerything, but that

does not mean * got it all for free. * willadmit we hae a head start due to our

status, but * will hae you know * worked

my way to the top. And it was hard work& *

had to proe myself worthy."

";ery one can proe themseles worthy with

a huge head start and a couple million

dollars for daily pocket money."* beg to differ, my dear gentleman. While

it is true that money makes money, * still

had to crawl my up the ladder, and * am at

the top now because of the simple fact that

* could climb faster than the rest. * will

not hide the reality that * take great

pride in my achieements."

"And you will not acknowledge that at least

some of those achieements hae come at

great misfortune for a large number of

people, to say the least%"

"5ertainly not, mister Wilson. 0ne man's

misfortune is another man's good fortune,

surely you must agree on this. That is

life. *t has been that way since the dawnof time and chances are it will keep on

being that way for a long, long time."

"Well, if the law of compensation is a

reality it would definitely seem to hae



turned a blind eye at your kind. And keeps

doing it repeatedly."

"0r maybe it really is compensating.

9ortune faors the bold, mister Wilson.""0r the already fortunate," rad says with

a slight feeling of disgust, knowing the

discussion is not ery close to its

conclusion.

"Do you not see% These people you call

unfortunate, left unattended will become

their worst enemy.""And that is where you step in."

"*t is in their own best interest to be

preoccupied with surial, fight for food

and territory, to follow trends, to consume

and watch TH, obey and not ask 8uestions

and hae $obs that suppress their thinking.

Do you understand, mister Wilson% Theimportant decisions cannot be left to the

common people."

"=erfectly," he answers bluntly. ecause we

all know that once man is free from

repetitie and boring tasks, free to think

for himself he will conspire with others of

the same material and deise plans that are

not accepted by their goernments. 9ree

from hunger and pointless toils, man's mind

will spawn all kinds of subersie thoughts

aimed at biting the so6called hand that

feeds him. Those who do break away howeer,

are called dissidents and terrorists so

they must be hunted down for the betterment

of society."":ou must admit, it is a perfectly designed

system, my dear gentleman," !ason gloats.

"*t harbors dissidents and model citi7en

alike, but ultimately, no matter what name



it wears, be it communism, fascism or

democracy& which all consist of the same

essence, ultimately, it will filter out the

undesirables. 0ne way or another, it willhae balance. *t truly is a beautiful

design."

rad tries to mask his disgust while !ason

ends the brief silence, ";ile is

impossible) #e says fully content with

himself, in a state of peaceful happiness.

"*s it% *s eile from the system reallyimpossible%" rad asks, trying to think of

possible ways out.

":ou tell me, mister Wilson. :ou see the

entire system is rigged against self6

sufficiency, because that is the first step

toward the collapse of our control oer the

masses. Think of a world where almosteeryone works for themseles growing

their own food, managing their own

resources. -o fake scarcity to conince

them they need to moe to the big cities

and get cubicle $obs where it is easiest

and the most conenient for us to get them

ad$usted. We hae gone to great lengths to

make sure people hae no choice but to

isit supermarkets and fast food places as

often as possible after a full day in the

cubicle. 9ighting farmers and discouraging

agriculture was the first phase. (elf6

sufficiency is ery dangerous, mister

Wilson. We can not and will not allow that.

"(o the supermarkets are yours, too%""The bottom of our organi7ation sees to

that. *t is considered one of the dirty

$obs we must handle."



"Dirty comes to mind, indeed, when thinking

of all the addities and chemicals the

supermarket sheles are full of. Any reason

for that% 5ontrol through food%""0f course, mister Wilson," he grins

happily& ":ou catch on fast, like * knew

you would. ;erything has a purpose, like *

said, nothing is left to chance. ;erything

and eeryone is useful."

";en so, you forget about the forest you

say eile is impossible, but what about thewilderness% Do you hae eyes there too% The

woles and bears of the mountains are they

on your payroll, as well%"

"!ister rad, we don't forget. Also, how

many people who lie in the forest do you

know and how many mountain cae dwellers

that left ciili7ation, do you personallyknow, are doing well in the great outdoors%

+eading a life style completely seered

away from the nourishing hand of the

system"

rad saddens, and is silent for a moment,

reali7ing !ason is right this time.

"*'ll take the freedom of interpreting your

silence as a negatie answer."

"The fact that * don't personally know

anyone, does not mean it can't be done," he

stands strong.

"The naked truth, as you will agree, is

that man has long forgotten how to lie in

the woods. =eople are much too attached to

the system and hae distanced themseles sofar from nature that escape has become

brutally impossible. !an does not hunt deer

or bison or mammoth anymore they hunt for

the 8uickest route for the shopping mall



and for the all you can eat buffets. They

hunt for happiness on endless sheles and

TH shows. They hunt for the latest line of

clothes and the net black 9riday sales."0B, 0B, * get it," rad tries to stop the

line of unending eamples.

"The number of people that will gie up the

comfort of the couch for a tree house is

net to nothing. >ranted there may still be

a few hermits out there who can manage it

some how," !ason says, "but * assure you,the leel of detachment is neer eer a

hundred percent. #e laughs again, "*t's

$ust impossible."

"(o you say," rad says tired and almost

resigned.

"The masses are feminine and stupid, mister

Wilson. All the tyrants of history haeunderstood this reality and they hae used

it to their adantage, marelously, eery

time. As a pioneer of mob psychology

rightly noted some time ago, the crowds

ehibit a docile respect for force and

brutality. They are ery slightly impressed

by kindness. Their sympathies hae neer

been placed on easy going masters, but

always on the igorously oppressie

tyrants."

"* see you did your homework in sociology

among other areas."

"(ociology... seems to me too euphemistic.

* would replace it any day with herd

behaior, for eample.""Thought so," rad replies with a dry

mouth, "but isn't this kind of double speak

one of your strategies%"



"The herds must be kept in a constant state

of neurosis and apathy, mister Wilson.

":eah, * deduced that much from your

confessions.""Again, you make me laugh, my dear

gentleman. -ot many people can do that. *

appreciated it. ut allow me to correct

your last statement. These are not

confessions. (uch things are for the common

people, who are promised redemption in

echange for them, which, sure enough,makes for a ery useful tool. That is why

all sorts of informers used to wear the

cloth in certain regions of the world."

"Csed to%"

"And probably still do like * said, such

tasks are left to the newly initiated in

our organi7ation.""* see"

"*'ll ask you something else. Do you not

find it odd that products like clothes and

food take infinitely less time and money to

make now, but still the prices go up

instead of going down% *f fifty years ago,

a pair of boots took a week to be

manufactured, at the cost of let us say,

one dollar, why are they fifty dollars now,

when it takes a few minutes to make them at

probably the same cost as half a century

ago% *nflation ad$usted, of course." rad

keeps silent and waits for the eplanation.

"*'ll tell you why it is because

otherwise, eeryone would be able to affordalmost anything they would desire."

"There would be no classes in society

e8uality and well being for eeryone. That

cannot be allowed, right%"



"Hery right, mister Wilson. 5an you imagine

the imbalance created by eeryone getting

rich and taking important decisions%"

"5atastrophic, indeed" rad agreessarcastically.

!elin barges is again, with coffee and

water, leaes them on the table and

disappears 8uickly. "Don't you wish

eeryone could be like that% +ike !elin"

#e says with fatherly pride.

"A faithful serant, probably mentallyunstable and completely lacking a personal

life%"

"That is one way to put it, but it is

rather harsh. * would go for shrewd

sagacious attentie maybe% And * don't

think many of us can boast left and right

about their personal life, so wonderfully$oyous and rich with good friends."

rad gets the allusion and lowers his ga7e

to the floor while reaching for the glass

of water, drinking it fast.

"Why don't we change the sub$ect a bit%

What do you think%"

"* think many things, mister !ason."

"* know you do listen hae you eer been

to >reece% * can arrange for a secluded

island $ust for you, with a nice illa and

a wonderful beach to rela for a few weeks

you need it and desere it. :ou did a great

$ob, and for that, we are grateful. All

epenses paid, of course."

":ou own a >reek island%""* own more the one. ut this particular

island *'m talking about, no, * don't own

it. :ou do," he smiles wickedly. "As of

right now."



":ou steal people's islands too% *sn't it

enough you condemn them to poerty and wage

slaery%"

"A debt is a debt, mister Wilson. And ithas to be paid one way or another. We are

generous enough to accept payments under a

different form than money, when the

situation re8uires so."

"The answer is no, * haen't been to

>reece and what makes you so sure * will

accept your offer% Also, why is your bribeso generous for me%"

"ecause you stand out of the crowd, mister

Wilson."

"#ow lucky am *%"

"-o need for sarcasm this time. * am not

lying. We hae a few pro$ects we would

like you to run for us. This time, higherclearance and much better pay much better

indeed."

"-o, thank you)" #e answers bluntly.

!ason goes on, completely ignoring rad<s

refusal, "The things you will see and

learn are beyond the common man's

comprehension. The technology we use is

roughly fifty years ahead of the

mainstream. !aybe more. *ndeed, for some it

would appear as magic," he confidently

gloats. With your help, with your

achieement, here, we will be able to skip

at least a decade of research. :ou see we

hae the same scientific inestigations

running in parallel in more facilities atonce. (ome were ery close to your success

but you were the first. :our setup is the

most efficient. And you hae as well

demonstrated a certain passion that is



absolutely re8uired, without which, others

would hae succeeded only by sheer luck."

"Eedundancy or paranoia%"

"The smallest detail in setting, personnel,in character or behaior can create

completely different results, een if

identical e8uipment is used. Eedundancy is

the key."

"(o money really isn't a problem. What if *

would say yes would * be forced to

superise the giant printing presses thatproide your unending cash flow%"

"-o, my dear mister Wilson," he grins

widely, "that is the $ob of the banks,

naturally. We hae work that is much more

scientific than that."

"-aturally, the banks they're the perfect

debt creating machines, aren't they%"":ou could not be closer to the truth."

"(etting the interest as they please,

lending worthless papers printed in their

basement and asking real money back by

real money * mean money that has been

earned by hard toil. Eeal money that does

not een eist, but somehow people hae to

pay it back. *t is a huge mystery for me,

why no one can see this."

";en if they see it there is nothing they

can do about it."

":eah :ou got it all figured out," he says

almost hopeless.

"* modestly agree, yes we hae most of it

if not all figured out a long time before.And what is going on right now is $ust the

plan, unraeling out, smoothly."

"(o nothing went the wrong way% -othing got

out of control%"



"The few small deiations hae been

remedied on time. 0er all, eerything is

running at the re8uired parameters."

":ou take a lot of pride in your work. :oureally are coninced of it, of the whole

scheme. :ou truly beliee in it, and that's

what makes you so dangerous."

"Why, thank you, mister Wilson. :ou flatter

me. #onest."

rad goes on with his crude analysis, "*t

is odd how people hae always welcomedcon8uerors disguised as liberators. And

that is eactly what your 'brotherhood', is

designation that comes to mind right now,

is doing. The same story eery time, the

same modus operandi, create the problem,

wait for the people to ask you for the

solution and then enforce it. Guitedeious, * will gie you that. :ou are a

small antichrist in your own right, mister

!ason. *f we were to neer meet, * would

not think it possible for such men to

eist."

"Antichrist% * think * en$oy the title, but

only because of the boldness it inoles."

"*t practically screams boldness)" rad

laughs, breaking a long period of keeping a

serious face.

">reat decisions re8uire great leaders.

5ourage and boldness determination, mister

Wilson. These are the 8ualities demanded by

a position such as mine."

":es. Add some self sacrifice, mercy andgenerosity in that mi and you hae the

perfect liberator. The cheering of the

thousands gathered in the s8uare, throwing



flowers at your feet is most deafening to

my mind's years."

"* acknowledge your sarcasm, mister Wilson

but ironically, you are not far from thetruth."

"There is $ust no wining with you, is it%"

"*'m afraid not, mister Wilson.

":ou know * won't gie up my work that

easily, right%"

"!ister Wilson, * hope you appreciate my

efforts of making eeryone gain somethinghere, today. And my patience towards a win6

win scenario for all parts inoled."

"5ome one, let's face it. The only winner

in this forced eacuation is you and only

you. (top making it sound like you're

helping anyone."

"*t is not a forced eacuation. And if youmust speak of it in this way, then let me

remind you that * am basically, your

employer and * take the right to terminate

your contract how eer and wheneer *

please. *f you prefer forced eiction

better than being let go, than so be it. *t

makes no difference to me whatsoeer."

"0f course it doesn't. True liberators hae

no time for semantics. And interpreting

what you $ust said, semantically different,

you are my owner, my master, and you're not

firing me, you're selling me, you're not

letting me go, you're sending me off to

different factory. (laes are not fired,

they are sold, isn't that right, mister!ason%"

"Time is indeed a ery precious asset and *

always make the most of it," he bluntly

aoids the sub$ect once again.



"+ike your isit here today, right%"

"0f course, mister Wilson. * neer go home

empty handed, and today * go home een

richer than yesterday thanks to you,!ister Wilson.

"* haen't gien you my final decision yet.

What makes you so sure of your ictory%"

"* don't hae to be sure of it, * know it."

"An omniscient liberator the people will

cheer for that for years to come."

":ou cannot oerlook the fact that you haeno choice in the matter, mister Wilson,"

!ason says ery seriously and stares him

down, epecting his capitulation.

"* neer did, did *%"

!ason keeps staring, 8uietly.

"* don't hae to gie you anything in

echange for your transfer or resignation.* am not obliged to compensate any of this.

ut *'m still trying to reward you, rather

generously as you hae seen."

":es rad stares back, hopping to buy some

more time for an idea. "What if * agree to

your terms with one condition% >ie me

thirty more days of full laboratory

priileges to finish my work. After that, *

shall be at your disposal, ready to be

transferred where eer needed."

"Why waste any more time, reinenting the

wheel% esides, the lab is already sealed,

being prepared for dis6assembly and

relocation. *n one week this place will be

empty."":ou mean being prepared for destruction

and burial."

"9ar from it, my dear gentleman," !ason

smiles.



"* hae to be honest this has been eye

opening for me."

"* could hae hoped for no less," !ason

smiles proud. #e hands rad a card andsays, "Take a couple of weeks to rela and

think it through. When you're ready, call

that number and eerything will be arranged

so as to mind all your terms and the utmost

comfort at your new position. ;citing

discoeries and wonderful times await us)"

-ot wanting to close all his gates, radtakes the card, looks at it and speaks with

new found strength, "All empires, all

regimes and dictatorships end sooner or

later, mister !ason. They get rebooted and

recycled. *t seems to me that the time is

near for eactly that to happen to your

reign. The psychopaths clinging desperatelyto their throne, the misanthropes and

tyrants forcing the world into the modern

seritude of our days cannot lie foreer.

They will fall like the pitiful creatures

they are, drowning in their own misery. The

world will recoer, mister !ason, it will

thrie and it will heal from the stigma of

your eistence. :ou will not be remembered

as anything more than a black page in the

history books of humanity. -othing close to

the glory and gratitude you think you

desere. :ou and your kind are damned

foreer and can neer clean the filth

associated with your actions. #umans are a

resilient species adaptable to any kind ofenironment, no matter how harsh and as

soon as they remoe the tumor you hae

cultiated inside their souls, they will

become a force so powerful, nothing will



eer stand in the path of their

adancement. 5ountless oppressors and

bullies came and went, lashing at the backs

of the human race and crushing its spiritunder their heay boot, but guess what% We

are still here, we are still alie and we

are ready to become much more than the

likes of you would eer allow. We are ready

to take our rightful place in this

unierse, and eplore it until the end of

time, in peace and good hope. The starsawait our return and we will honor their

patience. The star child has hatched from

the shell in which it has been kept

prisoner for so long and its light is

sending the ray that will apori7e the

perpetual dark ages of our souls. We hae

endured your tyranny long enough. *t is ourtime to wake up from the artificially

induced coma of our immortal spirit. Deep

down, we all know that when history repeats

itself, the price goes up. With this in

mind, we will not make the same mistakes

again. 0f that * assure you, mister !ason."

5ompletely untouched by rad<s words and

not showing any trace of emotion, !ason

replies, ">et some rest, you will need it."

rad gets up, and with a smile on his face,

heads for the door, opened $ust then by

!elin. They measure each other carefully,

head to toe, like competing and cautious

alpha males then rad goes around him and

leaes, content and with a strange feelingof peace in his heart. #e takes the stairs

and with an oerwhelming feeling of

freedom, $umps two steps at a time, like a

schoolboy who rushes to class. #e cannot



eplain to himself the peculiar sense of

the large burden lifted off his shoulders

and the weird relief eneloping him. Down

at the reception, =aul sees him and withoutecusing himself, he rudely leaes while

the heay make up wearing secretary is in

mid sentence.

"rad, wait) What are you smiling about%

#ow did it go% Tell me eerything)"

(miling and calm, rad says, "it went

eactly as it was supposed to," and goes onhis way out.

"What are you talking about% #e insists

following rad like an oer7ealous

papara77i, "how much did they gie you%"

"They gae me eactly what * needed to

receie, =aul. And yes, she is responding

to your silly pick up lines only becauseshe knows about your bank account. -et

time, try wearing a less epensie suit,

see what happens," rad replies $ust before

going out through the reoling doors, with

=aul stopping in his tracks, looking da7ed.



3@

"#ey, you made it," Tim opens the door for

rad. “* wish * could say you look goodut * can't. What's going on, brother%"

":ou know thinking about stuff/ he

replies throwing himself on the couch in

front of the large TH, that's running an

(CH commercial. Watching the actors

displaying their fake and eaggerated

smiles, rad is reminded of what !ason saidabout people buying happiness.

"5ome one man, you hae to let this go

it's been more than seenty two hours *

know it's not fair but what is%"

"* loe it how us, scientists, waste so

much time with being accurate" he forces a

fake laugh, "why can't we $ust say threedays, instead of seenty two hours%"

Tim sits down besides rad and says, "$ust

to get this out of the way * took the

money."

rad laughs, and taps him on the shoulder,

"*'m glad you did, you'e earned it. They

should hae gien you ten times more And

it still wouldn't hae been enough but

don't worry friend, * would not $udge een

if there was anything there to $udge."

"+ook they gae me a nice sum and a few

weeks of leisure time in a tropical resort

of my choosing free of charge."

"9ree" rad replies softly, looking at the

cluster of tall, crowded buildings, isiblethrough Tim's windows, "the only free

cheese, my friend, is in a mouse trap."

"As usual, you're right, rad6man," Tim

sighs.



"eliee me, it gets really frustrating to

always be right."

":ou're probably right" Tim $okes and they

both laugh."5ome on, man, you need to unwind a bit,

and * know $ust the thing for that. #e runs

to the kitchen and returns with a bo full

of bottles.

"What are we haing%"

"(pecial treat for my best friend, two in

one, !eican te8uila beer," he saysgrinning.

"eer with te8uila% Already mied% That

can't be good."

"The fuse and the bomb, bottled in a nice,

conenient, ergonomic package. =op it open,

put it to your mouth, tilt head and pour."

";fficient, *'ll admit. They think ofeerything, these people."

":es sir, they do," Tim opens one and

drinks half of it fast.

">ot to loe a cold one rad admires the

bottle, trying to see the pattern formed by

the running drops of water.

"We must be careful, these babies can pack

a punch if not treated right," Tim warns,

and finishes the rest of the bottle.

"(trong essences do come in small packages

but you don't practice what you preach

much, do you%"

"Just really thirsty, * guess," they look

at each other and laugh. rad takes a sip

and says, "What a cra7y month this hasbeen it all seems like bad dream a ery

long bad dream"

"A recurring nightmare"



":eah, well said first my mother dies

then * watch -orbert getting hit by a bus

then all this crap at work and a whole

bunch of iid nightmares and weird peoplein between. What the hell is going on,

Tim%"

"* don't know, man but * think it's safe

to say the nightmares are a normal result

of all the physical and mental stress

you'e accumulated in the past years. As

for the weird people well people are $ustthat weird. * mean look at us, for

5hrist's sake." They laugh again, "5heers)

my good friend)"

"5heers, Tim. And thanks."

"9or what% 5ome on $ust rela and forget

about eerything."

"9orget that's not one of my bestabilities."

":eah, * know still, try not to think

about it, at least."

":eah *'ll try. *'m hoping this magic

li8uid will help with that."

"0h, it will. Take my word on that, my

friend," Tim says and takes another gulp.

"* neer liked getting drunk especially

the morning after. 5an't stand that

horrible head ache and nausea."

"* hear you me, * like getting drunk but

hate the morning after as much as you do."

"9unny how most people are perfectly aware

of the conse8uences but still plunge head

first into hurtful situations," Tim shrugsand gets another drink. "*'m either ery

thirsty or $ust glad * got company," he

says, putting the empty bottle on the

table.



"What happened to the last ten years of our

lies% *t $ust feels like a huge waste, you

know%"

"* won't let you get depressed on me, nottoday. 5ome on, finish your beer. :ou hae

to catch up with me *'m leading by two

already."

"Worst of all * neglected eactly the

wrong people. The ones that didn't desere

it."

"*t's true, we hardly meet for a drinkthese days"

"What happened% rad asks still

reminiscing.

"* guess we got older."

":eah but if we're old now what about in

twenty or thirty years time%"

"Well, * guess then we won't care themusic will be too loud, the people much to

annoying -o, * won't be caught in your

game. Today we drink for today and what

will be will be."

":ou speak the truth) 5heers)"

"5heers) 0ld friend," Tim laughs.

"This is good stuff * like it."

">lad to hear it and don't worry about it,

there's a lot more where that came from."

"+ife time supply%"

"* wish but a couple of days, most

definitely."

"Judging by the rate you empty those

things, you must hae 8uite a stash."

":ou know me, always preparing for theworst."

":eah the worst," rad agrees in a low

oice.



"Do you think we were naie% To think we

can actually change the world% 0r een

arrogant, in some way% Tim asks.

"What about !arconi, or ell or ;instein%Were they naie and arrogant when they

reolutioni7ed their time and changed the

whole world for the better%"

"* suppose not" Tim comes back a bit

embarrassed, reali7ing the nature of his

8uestion.

"* mean, if all the great isionaries thathad something to say would hae stopped

themseles in their tracks before achieing

that one unbelieable breakthrough, where

would we be today% *magine a world without

radio or telephony. What heroes they are,

imagine and keep in mind, the ridicule and

lack of support they got in their days fordaring to ask 'what if' and taking that one

step further, that no one would dare $ust

because it was deemed impossible by the

eperts."

"That is true" Tim agrees.

"0f course our case differs a bit. We had

the re8uired financial support. The

ridicule is not as important now as it was

before -ot so damaging as it used to be."

"0nly that we got financial support from

all the wrong people."

":ou hae no idea," rad shakes his head

and finishes his second bottle.

"Weird fellow, that !ason guy, indeed."

"-o he wasn't weird -orbert was weird.!ason was $ust plain eil."

"#ae you eer wondered why that is%"

"Why what%" rad asks getting another beer.



"Why is it always like this% The absolute

worst on the top%"

"!aybe it's a common trait of psychopaths

the desire to dominate by all means."=sychopaths with absolute power and

wealth now that's a scary picture."

"(cary and real, as we hae both seen, my

friend."

"What can we do about it%"

"* don't know. 9or some reason, he let me

in on a lot of things, lets say. Thingsyou would not normally hear from someone

like him * mean, you would not think he is

what he is from a brief encounter."

"* know what you mean at first glance, he

seems ery polite, een."

"* wonder how many unsuspecting folk walk

around with psychopaths disguised as decentpeople%"

"A lot more than we think, *'m sure./

"#ow many friends, husbands, colleagues are

mimicking the backstabbing motion with a

large grin when people are not looking%"

They ga7e suspiciously at each other and

laugh.

"Don't worry about me, rad. :ou know my

record is clean. 5ouldn't be a backstabber

if * took lessons for it."

"Eatting out and snitching, betrayal is

not in our tool bo, * know."

"+et's drink to that," Tim cheers up and

knocks beers with rad.

"We don't hae to worry about practicingsuch skills $ust yet. We're not rich and

we're in no powerful or influential

position."



"* would say we're in no position at all,

at the moment."

":ou got that right," rad replies

laughing."+ong time since * laughed like today we

should laugh more. =eople should laugh

more," Tim maintains a smile and lowers his

eyes.

"* beliee you could not be closer to the

truth, my friend. -ot a lot of reasons for

laughter these days, are there%""-ot a lot, no. ut what if there are, and

we can't see them we don't allow ourseles

to see them."

"That is a ery intriguing possibility,

Tim," rad points with his inde finger.

":ou know, these last couple of days, * was

trying to figure out if we completelyfailed or gloriously succeeded./

"5ome to think about it, * don't know," #e

looks at Tim, pu77led by the simple but

difficult 8uestion. “* really don't know,"

he keeps staring at Tim, like begging for

an answer. Tim shrugs and relaes back into

the chair, letting the pleasant alcohol

induced warmth run through out his body. #e

remains silent for a while and changes the

sub$ect, knowing rad would still be

thinking about what he said for a long

time.

"(ure feels good to rela $ust let go for

a while, you know%"

":es but how can we be sure we're supposedto let go% What if that's the last thing we

should do right now% #ow can we know we're

taking the right decisions%" rad asks



frustrated and troubled by all the thoughts

that $ust came back, like a flood."

rad, you need to calm down, we cannot keep

going like this, we'll self6destruct. Weare not superheroes and we're not anyone's

saiors, come one. When the world will

re8uire saing, the world will call for it.

We tried, and we tried hard."

"We did try hard, didn't we%"

":es, we did and nobody can deny that. And

from the looks of us, we maybe tried morethan we had to." rad remains 8uiet,

pondering. "There you go again, consuming

yourself with thoughts that probably no one

else has, draining yourself trying to

answer 8uestions most probably no one wants

to know the answer to./

"That's me, alright," rad turns a numb,epressionless face to his friend."

"Just lean back and rela for once in your

life. There's nothing else to do right now,

and * doubt there's much you can do to make

a difference now."

":ou're probably right"

"-ot as often as you but today, yes, * am

righter than *'e eer been," Tim rebukes

his guest.

"* eny you, Tim. * really do. * hae lost

the ability to be sure about stuff about

anything, a long time ago."

":eah, well sometimes, you $ust hae to

take a leap of faith, you know% Trust

yourself to be right.""Wow you could not hae sounded less

confident. :ou don't really beliee that,

yourself, do you% Timotheos the origin of



your name >reek for honoring >od, if *'m

not mistaking."

"Well the only thing *'m honoring right now

is this wonderfully tasting li8uid of which*'m imbibing dangerously large 8uantities

in a too short period of time."

"As long as you can see and feel it and

taste it in this particular case it's 0B

to honor something, right%"

"!uch lesser things hae been honored and

worshiped, hae they not%""!uch less isible and palpable, to say the

least."

"Why do you think that is, really%" rad

in8uires much to the annoyance of his long

time friend.

"!an, * don't know, but what * do know is

that * won't let my self be dragged intoany more philosophical conundrums tonight."

"0B, 0B, calm down 5heers)"

"That's the rad * want to see tonight)

They both sip from their beers and each

waits for the other to start another

sub$ect.

"We hae neglected ourseles, haen't we%"

"ig time)/ 5omes the clear answer from

Tim. ":ou don't know how right you are with

that," he continues reolted.

"We basically hae no lies)" rad $oins in

the naming of their regrets, under the

insidious influence of the brew.

"We should escape the cages we'e inhabited

for so long and take the longest acationof our lies, far away from the so called

ciili7ed world)"

"At least three months." rad agrees.

"Three months% #ow about fie months%"



"+et's round it up to half a year, what do

you say%" rad raises the stakes.

"(i months it is, then." And they knock

the bottles again, chuckling."Well, that was fun, wasn't it% =retending

not to care for a couple of minutes," rad

comes down from the rush and resumes his

normal state.

"(trangely liberating, yes," Tim approes.

"+et's face it we're not the type. We

couldn't lie like that if we tried."":eah" Tim says with a soft long oice, as

if finally admitting to himself after a

long time of denial.

"!aybe in the net life," rad tries to

$oke, but gets a powerful flashback in

which, for a moment, he sees the woman from

his dreams, embracing him. #e almost chokesand ice6cold goose bumps form on the skin

of his arms. #e can hear Tim's muffled

oice, something about reincarnation and

gradually turning clearer as the flashes

fade away, "so * don't think we're that

lucky."

rad tries to hide it, and $ust keeps

silent.

"What do you think% Am * right% #e asks.

"* honestly don't know" #e says calmly,

the sudden shock pulling him almost

completely out of the di77y state.

"(hould hae known that would be your

answer." rad shrugs and says, "* need

another drink or do you hae anythingstronger in that stash of yours%"

"(tronger% * think so, but are you sure

about that%"



":es, yes, don't worry about it, he pushes

him impatiently, $ust go and get it

already."

"*'m on it, gie me a second, will you%"and he rushes to the kitchen. #e returns

with two tumblers and a bottle and warns

rad about the conse8uences.

"* can handle it, trust me," rad goes for

the bottle and opens it with his hands

shaking. #e pours the caramel colored

spirit in both glasses and drinks hisbefore Tim has a chance to say anything.

":ou're many things, rad6man, but * don't

think you're a man who can handle his

bourbon."

"Tomorrow morning will testify for that,"

he grins.

"(o be it, bottoms up)" #e empties hisglass, refills it and lies back in the

chair. "0B so what do you suppose we

should do net%"

":ou mean tonight or in general%"

"* mean what do we do now% After refreshing

our resumes. Where do we go from here%"

"!ason said he has do7ens of other pro$ects

he wants me to superise *'m sure he will

hae no problem accepting some of my

conditions that is if you're interested,

of course."

"Definitely, my friend. ut please, no

sooner than a couple of weeks. We need this

break."

":ou're right, sure we should catch up onourseles first. reathe, you know%"

"Absolutely. :ou got a deal, then."

">lad to see we're on the same fre8uency"



"As usual, no% That can't surprise you

after all this time."

"-o * guess not," rad agrees, glad to

know he can count on his friend. A shortsilence settles between them but Tim breaks

it suddenly, ":ou know we should not

regret anything regrets are $ust heay

burdens that won't let us lie. * for one

am glad for eerything we achieed. We did

well, our duty is done. +et the unierse

handle it from now on, right% :ou know what* mean can't do it all"

":eah we can't do it all" rad forces a

reply but does not really beliee what he

says.

"!aybe !ason did us a faor"

":es he rescued us from ourseles. We will

be foreer in his debt," rad throws inanother characteristic irony.

"* know you don't beliee it, but in the

long run * think it's for the best."

"We'll $ust hae to wait and see, Tim."

"* will remind you when the time comes, you

know * don't forget these things. When you

least epect it * will $ump out of the

shadows and corner you with those dreadful

words," he points to rad waiting for him

to complete the sentence.

"* told you so)" rad shouts, laughing.

":es sir. * know how bad eeryone hates to

hear that, so * got to say it."

"*t used to bother me, yes but now not so

much."*nteresting," rad smiles back feigning an

air of superiority.

":ou're blinding me you must gloat a bit

softer, please," Tim coers his eyes.



"5an't control it, sorry," rad $okes and

pumps up his chest. They laugh and keep

drinking.

"#ard to beliee such brilliantly smart andfunny guys like us are still single."

"-ot to mention good looking," rad points

to Tim with the hand holding the glass of

whiskey.

";specially that)" Tim concurs. "* could

picture you, settled down but not me"

"*'e heard there's some one out there foreach and eery one of us."

"5ould be let's drink to that) They knock

the newly refilled glasses once more, and

empty them 8uickly."

"Do you eer wonder how the world would be

without any alcohol%" rad asks and trying

to imagine it."Well * think it would be a really dull

place. * mean * can see it without

cigarettes but alcohol% * don't know."

"=robably healthier people less lier

damage, right%" rad speculates.

"#ey, it's not the substance's fault it's

getting abused."

"* suppose it isn't, rad speaks slower,

isibly di77y.

"* see you're holding strong, still. * will

help with that, here, hae another one,"

and he refills both glasses.

"!y good friend * do beliee we hae

become inebriated."

"Well that was the whole point, wasn'tit%/ Tim says while looking down the li8uid

in his glass, chuckling."



"*t is ery calming soothing een. *t's a

pleasant mellowness going down and

spreading all oer the body."

"5ome on man, stop analy7ing it, and en$oy.This is the good part of getting

intoicated. +ooking forward to hear you

analy7e the bad part tomorrow."

"* can hae more than you and still be

better off, you'll see,/ rad boasts.

"A drinking contest, huh% e careful

you're running against a world classathlete here." Tim grabs a beer bottle and

with his speech obiously impaired, goes

on, "5heck this out) * call it a whiskey

sandwich," and he finishes the beer without

breathing."

"*mpressie but you miss the taste that

way, let me show you./ #e grabs a bottleand drinks it all, but with a few pauses

during which he acts like a wine taster.

"*t's certainly more gracious like that

but boring."

"-ot ery smart, also this contest," rad

foresees.

"* don't think so, but let the future us

deal with that. The present us will en$oy

it to the maimum."

":ou speak the truth, dear friend, we must

drink to that)"

"5heers)"

"5heers)"

The muted TH keeps running in the

background of their discussion, showing afemale reporter's fake drama while

commenting on the images that portray

battlegrounds, houses reduced to rubble and

crying mothers digging through them,



desperately, while others rush for help,

holding tightly at their breast the blood

stained clothes, silhouetting a child. The

same images repeat again and again. Themontage is arranged so as the graphic

nature hopefully shocks as many people as

possible and men running in front of the

camera with rags that were children's

clothes, shouting out for $ustice, sharing

they're torment in tears, the round, red

wholes in them guaranteeing high ratings.rad catches it with the corner of his eye

and an eerie sadness pushes down oh his

heart. As he lowers his ga7e, Tim

understands and tries to aoid the coming

uncomfortable moments by grabbing the

remote and shutting off the TH. "What a

bunch of nonsense these people run all day* don't een know why * still hae a TH in

the house."

"*'ll tell you why because of the science

channels and to play your ideo games,"

rad says confident.

":ou know me well enough to be right, man."

"0ther than that fear mongering, pointless

idiotic commercials and egetatie state

inducing programs twenty four hours a

day."

"That sums it up $ust about right, *

beliee."

"That !ason he was right," rad says

looking outside, with the tone of a

defeated man that lunatic was right.""Eight about what% What are you talking

about%"

"About eerything he almost spills his

drink, gesturing with the glass toward the



city buildings isible through the large

windows of the apartment. "That miserable

psychopath"

"Would you care to share%" Tim asks,anious to hear about it.

"*t's true it's all perfect, brilliant

een. There is no escape. :ou can't you

$ust can't"

"0B, * think we had enough boo7e for one

eening" Tim sets his glass down.

"#onestly, * think we should neer mentionthat guy eer, and $ust forget about him.

We're probably neer going to see him

again, anyway."

"5ome on get another one," rad points to

the perspiring bottles of beer. Tim gies

him a serious look, and after a second of

hesitation, grabs one.">ladly, my friend," rad approes with a

large grin and nods. "*t's 0B to stutter, *

won't think less of the world class

runner."

"#ey, you're not ery coherent yourself,

beliee me," Tim returns the obseration.

"ut really there is proof eerywhere

eile really is impossible we hae to

admit it. Deep down we know this. *t's

true."

"Didn't know alcohol makes you so

defeatist. *t is known to hae the eact

opposite effect on most men. After a couple

of shots and a few beers, we all turn into

fearless superheroes. A most peculiarpeculiar reaction *'m seeing in you." rad

notices his friend haing trouble speaking

and only lets out a discreet smile, not to

embarrass him.



"*f there is such a thing as karma, then

maybe he has his share coming to him,

soon."

":eah not soon enough, trust me. :oucannot possibly imagine the magnitude of

sickness and eil he was carrying. And for

$ust one man it's unbelieable. * mean if

he really has that much power and influence

as he bragged about to me then"

"Then >od help us, huh%"

rad struggles to laugh, but he can onlymanage a short sigh. ":eah >od help us"

"Wait * will get some water. :ou hae to

hydrate yourself when drinking this much

*t's a trick *'e learned no headache

tomorrow," he taps his inde finger to his

temple twice and goes into the kitchen. #e

returns, saying, "*'e got some nicemineral water but * can't find it, *'ll be

back, $ust a second," he promises and

disappears into the bedroom.

"-o problem, take your time," rad assures

him and lets himself slide back into the

soft couch and closes his tired, burning

eyes, releasing a long and heay sigh.



3?

;cept for the wooden table and the two

chairs, the cold room is empty. A strong,stinging smell of mold fills her lungs as

she is forced to sit down on one of the

chairs. The aid salutes, turns around and

leaes, closing the door with a muffled

sound, causing some dust to fall from the

old, water stained ceiling. A rusty lamp

fiture hoers aboe the table, rockingslowly in a morbid dance that follows the

eplosions in the nearby streets. The weak

light coming from it is enough to blind the

woman in not seeing clearly the face of the

neatly dressed lieutenant colonel. #e sits

in the other chair, his back to the small

cracked window that lets in only a smallpart of the faded light of the cloudy

eening. #e sits tall and proud, and leels

his $acket with a sudden calculated moe.

#is face is not showing any emotion.

"Do not be afraid, please," he tries to

calm down the shaking and scared woman who

cannot take her eyes of the table.

"5igarette%" #e asks, pulling out a green

pack of ;ckstein 9ie. The woman throws him

a 8uick look, only to lower her eyes on the

table again, without answering. "Are you

sure% They are een better than the

American brands. #ard to come by these

days." #e lights one up and puts the pack

back in his pocket, neer changing hisrigid posture. "(o tell me, hae you been

treated right by my men%" The woman remains

silent, struggling not to cry or show fear

but is startled by an eplosion that makes



the walls of the entire double story house

tremble. "* am a man of patience, but if

you do not cooperate, that can change ery

8uickly." (he raises her eyes to gie himanother brief look, but enraged by his

obious lack of compassion, she gathers all

her courage and shouts, slamming both her

palms on the table, ">o to hell, you -a7i

pig)"

"* admire your spirit, * really do," he

says taking another puff, absolutelyimperious and unchanged in his attitude,

"but * hae urgent matters to attend to,

and the sooner we finish here, the better

for the both of us." *n the silence between

the blasts, he can hear the heay breathing

of the woman, and notices a small puddle of

water, formed by the drops falling from theshoulder long hair. #e sees her hair is wet

and so is her dirty wool sweater. There is

also dry blood in the corner of her mouth.

"* must apologies for the crude methods of

my men. They are 8uite unreasonable and

will resort to saage measures due to their

awful lack of patience. :ou must beliee me

when * say * do not approe of their

conduct. * would of course, gladly attend

to your case from the beginning, but

unfortunately my schedule does not allow

it." (he turns her head and remains silent,

staring at the floor.

"What *'m asking for is ery simple. :ou

gie me the names of the weapons supplierand the location of the resistance

head8uarters. *n echange for this

information, you are free to go and *

promise we will go easy on your husband, as



well. Why, * will let both of you go. A

fair trade, wouldn't you say%"

"* will neer gie you what you want," she

says with a shaky, low oice, still lookingaway from him. Another mortar shell falls

in the back garden of the building, the

shock wae sending tremors all around the

old house and more dust from the ceiling

falls on the table. The officer takes a

last smoke and snuffs out the cigarette

under his speckles boots.":ou should know that if any other of my

men would be here instead of me, things

would be ery unpleasant for you. * am sure

you do not want that. (o please, once

again, * need the name of your weapons

contact and the location of the

resistance." The few moments of graesilence are interrupted by more eplosions

and gunfire. The officer looks to the

woman, sighs and gets up. #e straightens

his coat once more and starts to walk

slowly around the table with his hands

behind his back. #e is tall and imposing

and his uniform is immaculate. The iron

cross perfectly placed in the middle of his

collar, below his Adam's apple, dangles

with his eery step. #e goes around the

table and when he is close to her, she can

see the leather holster from his belt. (he

can sense the smell of oil coming from the

pistol. (he sees the wooden, brown handles

of the +uger and chills run down her spine.The officer stops by the window and looks

outside, without saying a word. After a

minute, he raises a finger and says,

"+isten to that" (he looks startled at the



window. "Do you hear that% #e asks. "The

mortars hae stopped. That means my men

hae silenced them, finally. -ow, we can

see to our business without beingdisturbed. :ou will now gie me the name of

your weapons supplier and the location of

the resistance, please." (he remains

defiantly 8uiet. ":ou see this is eactly

the reason why all this is happening right

now," and gestures with his hand to

encompass the entire window. 5ooperationand good ciili7ed talks would hae

preented all this destruction and waste of

precious time. -one of my men would hae

been harmed and none of your people would

hae to suffer the conse8uences. All you

hae to do to put a stop to further

unpleasantries is to gie me what * want.Just a few words from you can make all the

difference." #e puts his hands to his back

again and encircles the table, patiently.

"* am waiting," he breaks the silence.

After another lap of the table, in front of

the window he stops and turns suddenly to

face her and sits down. "*t is only a

matter of hours until we hae this city.

With or without the information you

withhold so foolishly. We know your husband

is the leader of the resistance. We know

all your contacts and eeryone that eer so

much as offered a glass of water to any

resistance fighter. They will all be

punished seerely for their crimes, restassured. :ou are only prolonging the

ineitable, do you not see it% Why do you

still refuse to acknowledge the facts% :ou

hae lost. There was no other way this



could hae ended, no other possible way it

could hae concluded, other than ery, ery

bad for the resistance and all those who

dare oppose us. And to think how generousthe terms of surrender hae been. *t would

hae been so ery wise for you to accept

them and spare yourself all this

unnecessary bloodshed. ut * suppose we all

must do what we all must do, don't you

beliee so%" he says, still with the same

straight posture, proud and his handsbehind his back.

efore she can say anything, the door opens

and the officer's aid salutes, ecuses his

intrusion and reports in a military manner,

"#er 0bersturmbannfuhrer, * am happy to

announce that the location of the

resistance has been discoered and asummary trial of the captured leaders is

being held right now, outside." #e salutes

again and slams the door shut behind him in

the same manner as before. #earing this,

the woman's eyes fill with tears and fear

strangles her soul as she fights to keep

from crying and not gie him the

satisfaction of seeing her brake. "Well,

well it would seem things hae unraeled

in the most pleasing fashion. ;en better

than * hae anticipated." #e says looking

out the window. "The things you force us to

do such a shame," he continues, seeing the

men lined up against a crumbled wall of

what used to be the neighboring house."Well, do come take a look outside, * am

sure you will recogni7e at least some of

them. (he gets up slowly, and moes toward

the window, staring in the officer's eyes,



praying her man is not among the

unfortunate prisoners. As she approaches

the window, uncontrollable tears run

continuously down her face, and unbearablesorrow grips her heart. (he cannot look

outside, but she knows he is there,

thinking of her, and waiting for his

sentence to be carried out. (he $umps to

the officer and beats her fists to his

chest, crying, begging him.

"=lease, please, *'ll tell you eerything,please, spare him, * implore you, spare his

life, * will tell you eerything, * will

tell you eerything, please)" (he cries

out, hoping with all her being the

unflinching sadistic brute watching her

plead for her husband's life would show

mercy. 9rom outside, the order to get readyis heard and the firing s8uad prepares the

rifles. (he free7es for an instant to look

outside, terrified and then starts pounding

the office's chest, again, desperately,

":ou said you'd let him go if * told you

what you wanted, you bastard, you said

you'd let him go)" They both hear the

command to aim, and she turns to look

outside, palms on the window, screaming

with all her might. The officer unholsters

his pistol, takes a step back, aims it at

her head and his oice coers the order for

the eecutioners to fire, "* lied." #e

pulls the trigger and the noise of the

pistol $oins the noise of the riffles goingoff outside in a macabre duet.



12

The echo of the shot lingers in his ears,

long after opening his eyes, stilldeafening and brutal. rad is calm, staring

at the ceiling, retracing the eents that

lead him there, the only nuisance being a

whirling sensation and a slight headache.

Waking up, the remaining sadness and anger

gradually disappear leaing room to the

usual ha7y state of early mornings. #estraightens up, thinking of the strangeness

of the residual images still parading

through his mind, the impenetrable coldness

of the >erman officer, particularly

disturbing. #e turns to the window and his

eyes hurt from the diffuse light spread by

the gray, heay clouds which look like theyare competing against each other to coer

the sun. #is palms coer the unshaed face,

in an effort to do away with any last

remnants of sleepiness while his mind plays

back like a tape recorder the highlights of

the preious eening. #e is content with

the fact that he managed to spend some time

with his friend, coninced it would turn

out helpful in the long run. The TH, still

running on mute comes into his field of

iew $ust in time for the morning forecast.

The weatherman engaged in shallow

conersation with his fellow anchors, under

the forced smile, probably hopes to escape

the blame for the coming full week of rainsand snow. #e watches the screen for the

entire duration of the weather section,

trying to read the lip moement of the

artificial faces loaded with makeup, hiding





oice on the phone later in the afternoon,

cursing the alcohol and making false

promises of refraining from such abuse in

the future. #e feels a sense of gratitudetoward his close friend and as he leaes

Tim's place to go home, with the woman from

his dreams on his mind, a soothing feeling

of peace guides his way.



13

The great city is peaceful and in the ery

middle of its circular arrangement, thetemple stands proud, watching oer the life

of the inhabitants. *nside, many are

engaged in what looks like a heated debate,

some concerned, some indifferent and some

$ust obsering. 9rom aboe, the council

hall appears to be a large ant hie teaming

with workers running around, eery one busycontributing in their own way. Their oices

add up to a single powerful hum that

resonates back and forth throughout the

massie, light filled auditorium. The tall

marble columns stand witness to the words

of those whom, in search of priacy use

them for coer, groups of two or threepeople gesturing important signs to each

other. The head of the council standing up,

tries to bring the hall to silence so

matters can be debated further. Eaising his

oice, he captures the attention of the

noisy mass of people gathered in the

temple, "Would you please be 8uiet, good

people, so we may proceed further%" #is

long, white beard moing in sync with his

thundering oice, its tip pointing the

syllables on his chest. #e lets his hands

down and the large sleees of the robe

merge with the rest of his white garment.

5ontent with the perfect silence that has

gripped the entire temple, he turns to hisleft and right, to salute the presence of

the other members of the council,

respectfully and discreet, with a slight

bow of his head. #is wrinkled forehead and



long white hair is the sub$ect of a few who

mentally try to guess his age. 9rom the

long platform where the table of the

council sits like a stage for all to see,the members salute he old man back and wait

for him to speak.

"!y dear friends * would like to thank

each and eery one of you for being here

today. As some of you might know, this day

marks eactly seenty years since * was

chosen to lead this great gathering. * haededicated all my life to it and * hae

tried to fulfill this honorable duty to the

best of my abilities eery single day for

these last seen decades. *t has been a

most rewarding priilege and for that, *

must send my gratitude out to all of you

once more. * know how eery one has beenlooking up to those that stood in my place

before, for so many centuries. 0ne is

neer forced into accepting such a path in

life, as most certainly * hae not been

forced. -eertheless, the one who makes

this choice will dedicate his entire

lielihood to assist the constant progress

and betterment of our ciili7ation. *f *

hae let you down in the smallest way, *

present to you my most humble apologies. *

am coninced there is some one among you

who will no doubt, eceed my limited wisdom

by far and who will take great care in the

preseration of our ways." The old man

leaes his head down, taking a break fromhis speech. The perfect silence inside the

temple transforms into a palpable feeling

of anticipation. "Alas, my dear friends he

continues with a slight change in the tone



of his oice, "this anniersary is not

cause for celebration. This is a time when

we must all look inside our hearts, to find

solutions to the problems that threaten ourery way of life, a life of peace and

prosperity, e8uality and friendship. 9or as

long as we can remember, eery generation

has stried to be better than the preious

one. And eery time, it has succeeded. 0ur

ancestors hae built this great

ciili7ation in such a way, as to allow thehuman spirit to fly eer higher, absolutely

free, unhinged by any kind of suffering.

War, famine, disease these were but

estigial words their real meaning long

forgotten. *t saddens me to the deepest

depths of my soul to hear these words

spoken more and more and their meaningbecoming clearer by day, een to the

youngest, after so many centuries of

absence from the great language book. *

hae been unfortunate enough to witness,

during my time in the council the degrading

of our precious moral alues. Those who do

not look away in ignorance can clearly see

the corruption that is spreading fast,

threatening the foundation of our society.

We hae become greedier, more selfish, more

isolated from each other, more intolerant

and perhaps most important more afraid

than eer. We hae become infected with an

irrational fear a fear that is turning

into the greatest enemy we hae yet toface. *t is a fear with no actual basis and

it is our greatest weakness. rothers and

sisters, * say to you know with great hope

renounce the fear that grips your wonderful



hearts and embrace the loe that will set

you free and bring all of us together

again. The loe * speak about is the light

that will guide us back onto the path ofeternal bliss and happiness. 0nto the path

that leads to unimaginable wonders and

endless possibilities. The path that we

rightfully desere. A whisper from the

inside begs us to follow it, yet we hae

become deaf to the oices within us. The

noise of the corruption coers the onceloud oice of our souls. !y dear friends

we must let go of the fear or risk

returning to the saagery of the old days,

to the unspeakable atrocities of continuous

fighting to the horrible wars the archies

speak about. rother killing brother

parents selling their children suchbarbaric crimes must foreer remain in our

shameful past. *t is not too late to return

to our true seles. The acts of brutality

that happen in the streets of our cities

are growing in number. We cannot turn a

blind eye because each and eery one of us

matter, and together we are able to change

anything we put our minds to. We must stand

united at all cost, for that is what has

made us so strong all throughout the eons.

That has been our great adantage the

thing that all the others hae failed to

understand, and thus, met their demise.

Cnity" #e stops for a few moments to

gather some strength, the effort isiblytaking its toll on the old man. #olding

back the strong emotions, he goes on with a

confident and gentle oice, "Dear friends

of mine the e8uilibrium our society has



been built upon is of the utmost

importance. Through the perfect balance we

hae always maintained, the continuation of

our world is assured. We must not letourseles drift away from it. !ust not fall

pray to the illusion of false promises, so

often encountered lately the illusion of

ownership and power. The illusion of hate

and bigotry and greed. * speak to you with

great hope, for * hae no fear, my

brothers. What we do not fear, cannot hurtus is any way. We see more and more of our

kind straying from the ancient ways, more

and more of our brothers and sisters

falling asleep. We see more and more

prophets and preachers of fear, spreading

false words and more who follow them

blindly. 0ur ancestors were liing in fear$ust because of this difficult to grasp

fact not taking responsibility and always

blaming others instead of looking to

themseles. -ot 8uestioning and neer

doubting their false prophets, they went as

far as laying waste to an entire planet and

brought themseles so close to total

annihilation that it truly is a miracle

that the handful of people that suried

set the stones to the foundation that would

later become our great ciili7ation. +ike

blindfolded sheep they were led to war,

killing their brothers in the name of

superstition and for the soul purpose of

enriching their prophets those cold6hearted men who would go to any lengths to

feed the insatiable hunger that is greed.

(uch mistakes if repeated, * beliee will

cost us a lot more than they did our



ancestors. * beliee the price to pay will

be so great, that this time nothing will

arise from the ashes. * trust we can all

agree on this matter that we hae thesacred duty to leae more to our children

and grandchildren more than ashes a lot

more than ashes," he finishes, his oice

becoming softer and softer at the end. 9rom

behind, three men coered in black robes

make their way through the crowd and

remoing his hood the one in the middle,with a threatening oice speaks aloud, ":ou

speak of ashes and annihilation, old man

are these not prophesies of fear% Are they

not the raings of false preachers,

concealing their own agenda%" The loud

murmur resumes, some showing shock and some

disgust but settle down as soon as the oldman taking his seat, ponders the defiant

words while remaining calm, managing to

hide how worried he actually is and

replies, "* sense great passion in your

words, young man the fire of youth *t can

be ery misleading if one lacks the

re8uired wisdom to goern it."

"Do not be troubled old timer, as * assure

you, the amount of wisdom * posses is

eactly the amount needed by our troubled

society."

"Who addresses this council, might we ask%

A woman at the right of the old man

interenes. (he is also ery old& the gray

hair that falls in long stripes oer hershoulders holds testimony to her age.

"* am >utsceath, son of Attor, and * hae

come here to claim what is rightfully

mine)"



"These are bold words you speak, son of

Attor. Albeit disrespectful," the woman

continues. >utsceath attacks the old man,

completely ignoring the woman, "Are yougoing to let a woman do the talking for

you, old man%"

"This is not a patriarchy, nor a

matriarchy, my son we lie in an e8ual

partnership society. -o one is greater than

any other, we are all e8ual and free. *t

seems to me your thoughts are of theancient past of the long forgotten days of

our saage ancestors," he answers

patiently.

"9irst of all * am not your son. And the

freedom and e8uality you boast about has

nothing to do with the reality of our days.

*t is a lie, a treacherous and murderouslie)"

;eryone starts commenting again to the

left and right, filling the entire

auditorium with their 8uestions, whispers

and shouts. "!y son, * am afraid your words

fall on confused ears"

"Then let me enlighten you)" #e interrupts.

The perfect silence once again takes its

place in the large hall, eeryone waiting

for the eplanation. ":ou say we are e8ual

and free and yet, we are forced to work and

toil, instead of bringing in work force

from the saage tribes. -ot only would we

be offering them all the adantages of a

modern ciili7ation, but we would alsoimproe the lies of eeryone, theirs and

ours. We would be truly free and they would

get educated and saniti7ed. A fair trade by

anyone's standards)"



"!y dear boy the ancients had a word for

what you speak now that word is slavery ."

The hall erupts in a iolent, uniform

noise. "-on sense)" >utsceath shouts back."Taking people from their homes and forcing

them to do as you please is slaery to say

the least, my dear boy. (aages as they may

be they are human beings and they hae

rights."

"We will proide shelter and protection,

technology and progress) #ow can you callthis slaery% We are kidding our seles. We

hae forgotten how to rule. There is chaos

and disorder out there, in the saage

lands. They are filthy and plagued by all

kinds of diseases, $ust waiting to spread

all oer the earth. They are a great

resource and if you really are so mercifuland great, then you will take heed, old

man."

"9or so long we hae lied in peace with

the outer world and for so long, the so

called saage and diseased tribes hae gone

along $ust fine, minding their own business

and suriing with out our help. What makes

you think we should change that, or better

said, what do you think gies you the right

to do so%" The woman cuts in to 8uestion

>utsceath.

"* do not think, woman, * know. The blood

of kings runs through these eins)" #e says

proud, etending his arms toward the

council, the gesture and words unleashinganother round of echoes that go back and

forth in the temple.

"* am sure eeryone here knows as well as

you do that bloodlines are not considered



to proide free access to the throne, if

there was such a thing. We were neer and

will neer be goerned by a king. 0r a

priest or any one single man, for thatmatter. #ow can a single man know the needs

of the many% !oreoer, do you really think

one man can ac8uire enough credibility, to

maintain his position aboe the many% What

promises must he make% #ow can he possibly

conince the great ma$ority of his

infallibility% ;ach indiidual is a king inhis own right and does not need anyone to

represent him. We are all free and e8ual.

This ery council is of symbolic alue and

its soul purpose is to help, not rule," the

old man eplains, emphasi7ing the last

word.

"This is eactly what * am talking about,people," >utsceath turns his back on the

council and addresses the crowd. This

system has failed. *t is old and corrupt to

its core. *t has become obsolete and cannot

be sustained any longer. This type of

thinking has lead us to ruin. *t has

brought our downfall. ;er since * was a

child * hae watched our ciili7ation

crumble and thrown into chaos by the

incompetence and cowardice of old fools."

The crowd is so noisy now >utsceath can

barely be heard.

"We must allow him to speak, brothers," the

old man silences them. After a short brake,

looking all around he continues, "When theright one shows himself, the people need

not be coninced and they need not hear

false promises. They will recogni7e, they

will know) They will remember the glory and





in the sight of the entire hall. "* look

into your eyes and * see it) * see the

spark that stands ready to ignite the fiery

warlike beast in you. That blood thirstydemon you hae suppressed for so long. *t's

in you& in me, in all of you standing here

and all that is human on this planet." #e

pirouettes with his finger pointing, "*t

has been kept prisoner all this time, only

to erupt soon, his power increased

hundredfold. (ome of you hae known it,some of you hae suspected it. The time to

unleash it has come. -ow, before it

consumes you)"

"We do not deny the eistence of this demon

you speak about, >utsceath," the old man

replies, still ery calm, like a wisdom

filled grandparent talking to the son ofhis son. "ut the ery foundation of our

society was built imprisoning this beast.

Eecogni7ing it, acknowledging it and

keeping it under control has brought

salation to our species. 0nly ery little

was left from our warring ancestors who did

not understand this demon only ery little

was left for us to continue. * trust net

time it will see the light of day, there

will be no eidence of our eistence for

others to carry on and start all oer

again. *s this the legacy you wish to leae

behind%"

":ou feeble old men are pathetic) :ou do

not yet seem to fully grasp the graity ofthe situation you hae created. :our time

is up, you hae failed) *t is up to us to

sae this ciili7ation now, before it is

too late. And sae it we will, from the



clutches of the likes of you, weak senile

old men and women. ;en the weapons we hae

now are net to useless, if not een

completely harmless. The saages need tofeel the greatness of our names, feel it

through pain and agony, so as to foreer

remember us. *nstead, they laugh at us, at

our weapons of mercy. :ou can't een bring

down a wild boar with these things," he

laughs insultingly and throws to the

ground, in front of the council podium asmall, round deice that shatters,

releasing sparks and a blue smoke that

fades 8uickly into the air. "The saages

demand brute force and merciless

retribution for their heinous acts of war,

and that my friends is eactly what *

intend to bring to them.""There haen't been any attempts to breach

the island in more than three centuries,

eery one knows that," the woman steps in.

The real threat of any kind of deliberate

attack $ust does not eist. The most

adanced of the tribes hae spears and

bows," she smiles again.

"!y brother was killed while eploring one

of the forests from the mainland, only two

years ago)" (ome one from the crowd shouts

out as loud as possible so eeryone present

there, can hear and many others approe,

waiting for a $ustification.

"*solated accidents are not cause to inade

foreign lands, or $ustify gratuitousmurder, >utsceath," another member of the

council replies to the shouted affirmation,

"we are not hunters of man, nor do we kill

for pleasure or in the name of glory or



superstition. (uch actiities are beneath

us and buried in the darkest and most

shameful past."

The head of the council concurs with a bowof the head and looks >utsceath in his

rage6filled eyes, "!y son you force our

hand to approe of your need for bloodshed

and great suffering for us all. This we

cannot allow. :ou hae been blinded by hate

and you seek refuge into iolence. :ou must

not allow the beast to take control of yoursoul. *t is strong only if you let it, you

only need to take a moment to look inside

and see how powerless it is, how easy you

can subdue it."

"* hae, old man, * hae looked inside. *

ga7ed into the eyes of the beast and *

understood. 0nly when * stopped pretendingit is not there, hae * understood that *

cannot deny my nature, my ery essence. *

know the beast. *t is not in us and we are

not in it. We are it)" +arge parts of the

gathered people continue to pay careful

attention to the happenings while the

others argue among themseles, creating a

heay atmosphere of insecurity.

";en the way the pyramid's energy is

harnessed proes the magnitude of the

failing mentality that preails throughout

our lands. We only harness but a small

fraction of what we should)"

"We harness only what we need, >utsceath,"

comes the 8uick reply from the woman.""9ar from enough, woman) ut worry not. *t

is being taken care of, as we speak."

":ou're a fool, >utsceath)" Another council

member shouts, standing up. The structure's



powers are beyond our comprehension, let

alone yours. :ou hae no idea what you are

dealing with) #orrific wars were fought for

control oer such energy sources andmillions died in ain, waiting for it,

waiting to be liberated from their toils by

it. *t is not to be owned by any one, it

belongs to all of us and is it to be

treasured and respected. This is what our

ancestors hae come to understand, and that

knowledge was arried at through great costand sacrifice. That sacrifice must neer be

forgotten and that cost must neer be paid

again."

"Why won't you open your eyes for once,"

>utsceath yells. “=eace and well6being are

man's worst enemies. The great builders of

our so called glorious society, the greatisionaries you honor, they were the first

who chose to ignore our true nature thus

condemning eeryone to a life of false

security and continuous regression an

inolution of the body and the mind so

damaging it has rid us of our greatest

adantage as a species. 5ompetition is what

* am talking about) The weak must and will

always fall to the strong. The lion will

always slay the wildebeests and the

dominant will always lead the submissie.

Disrespecting these natural laws hae

brought us to our knees. The plenty and

abundance we re$oice in now has turned us

into a powerless coward like, defenselessand unworthy creature. We do not use our

muscles anymore, and the brains will follow

shortly. We hae nothing to compete against

and nothing to hope for. We are dead and we



do not een know it)/ #e turns to the crowd

and yells again with all his might, "9rom

dusk till dawn we walk around lying to

ourseles, without any real purpose or goalor direction. #ow long ago did we gie

birth to the last truly reolutionary idea%

:ou cannot een remember, can you% We hae

reached a leel of unprecedented

stagnation. We are a stale and rotten

society, mindless sleepwalkers drifting

through time, useless and confined. ut *bring forth the much needed change, the

change that will liberate us from these

shackles of perdition. As * stand here,

before you, the hammers of freedom bash the

chains that keep us imprisoned That keep

us from reaching the peaks of the glory

that is rightfully ours, and no one cantake that away from us) -o one)/ #e calls

out to the sea of bewildered eyes watching

him. "!an yearns, he craes for a strong

leader, he secretly desires to be ruled and

punished for such is his nature, and in

doing so, that strong, wise leader will

maintain order and society will reach its

true potential)"

"(on of Attor" the head of the council

speaks after listening carefully, "it is

customary for us to heed all oices that

seek our ears, be they friendly or not, old

or young, healthy or dying and we most

certainly hae paid respectful attention to

your speech, today. Alas, it saddens medeeply to hae to consider such matters

that were considered long ago and settled,

sealed with the blood of many. * did not

think it possible and yet, you are the



liing proof that such ideas still linger

in the mind of man. We know how dangerously

8uick, isionary ideas can be

misinterpreted and what horrors they canbring. *ndeed, the wicked will easily trick

the gullible, but the acceleration of

reason and wisdom did away with any trace

of the need for people to be wicked or

gullible, submissie or dominant. +ike any

body part that is no longer needed and not

used for a long time, eolution will eitherremoe it or improe it. +ike them, these

old ideologies you preach here today, with

admirable passion, hae already been

remoed by the constantly improing

unierse. 0ut of the infinite chaos that we

are only now starting to eplore, somehow,

an uneplained force is striing for orderand betterment. This ery fact is

undeniable proof your mentality is outdated

and adopting it, would mean not only

standing still but also going backwards in

an adancing unierse. Why betray

ourseles%" he asks, ending his eplanation

on the same warm and loing tone eeryone

has become accustomed too.

"Why betray ourseles, you ask% A good

8uestion indeed) >oing against nature,

funny you should mention that. *s it not

eactly what we are doing now, with all the

planetary engineering going on% Who says we

are allowed to tamper with nature,

transforming deserts into forests and othersuch endeaors%"

">utsceath stopping desertification seems

to me to be ery far away from any notion

of arrogance. Where is the harm in



re$uenating the planet% *t can only do

well for eeryone because at the rate the

deserts are growing now, the heritage will

be a most dire one. We hae thecapabilities, we hae the will so why risk

the $udgment of barren wasteland dwelling

future generations% Guite far from

arrogance, indeed," the younger member from

the podium replies with a hint of irony in

his oice.

"9ar from arrogance and ery close tomadness, actually haing deserts when

liing on a planet that is mostly water,"

the old one interenes. 9ollowing your

$udgment it would be normal for people to

suffer thirst in the middle of an enormous

lake."

">utsceath," the head of the council triesto politely bring the dispute to an amiable

closure, "you fail to grasp the most basic

of points there is enough of eerything

for eerybody, no need to fight, no deed to

own and no need to s8uabble oer anything,

much less for unimportant or useless

things."

"This is where you are wrong," >utsceath

cuts in, "dead wrong) *t is the destiny of

the strong to own) The destiny which you

try so hard to bury with your carefully

chosen words words like 'freedom',

'prosperity' and worst of all 'e8uality'.

There is not, and there has neer been such

a thing as being born e8ual. This is thekind of lie that has been pulled oer our

eyes for so long to keep the strong bounded

to the rest of the useless eaters. To

preent them from reaching their fate, to



con8uer and to rule oer the masses. *n

your stupidity you must probably be

coninced you hae been doing us a great

faor all this time when instead, you haekept us in the dark with little hope of

eer reaching the light. With little hope

of eer becoming what we're meant to. :es,

most will be the ruled, some will be slaes

and few will be the masters but at least

that is infinitely closer to the truth)

*nfinitely closer to the natural way ofthings. *t will be a life of glorious and

for some, painful truth instead of the

current beautifully disguised misery and

lies for all." #e turns his back to the

council again, facing the crowd of anious

people and gesturing more liely the eer,

he speaks to them loudly, "The time to makea choice is now) :ou hae heard what was

spoken here today and now you pick your

sides." #e points to the podium, "who among

you would rather go on liing the

dehumani7ing lies they preach with their

shallow, empty eyes and who will $oin me on

a path to glorious liberation and on a

search for the truth that lies buried,

carefully hidden away by these so called

serants of the people% These wretched old

men who lie only to lead us all astray,

ignorant and dumb, un8uestioning and

docile, like sheep who willingly sacrifice

their flesh at a gien word after giing up

their souls and their indiiduality to fakecauses, for fake prophets and for untruths.

#e who $oins me today and is truly worthy,

shall hae the chance to leae his name

written in gold in the scrolls of history



and his name shall be spoken for millennia

to come by the children of our children and

their children's children, on and foreer.

e not afraid brothers for today beginsyour real life, today you are awaken to

your true potential, your true meaning.

Today you release the heay chains of the

mental slaery you were cursed with for so

long. Do not kill they say, * say kill,

slaughter and rape if such is your heart's

desire. These are our natural fierypassions we hae kept inside us, locked and

for too long we hae feigned deafness to

their cries for release. We are born e8ual,

they say, * say we are either born to sere

or we are born to con8uer and rule, we need

not listen to them tell us otherwise

anymore, my brothers) 9ear not, for * willlead you unto whateer paths you may

choose, * will bring you to the suffering

or to the ecstasy you secretly long for. !y

brothers, with me as your king, glory,

pain, agony, honey, milk and happiness will

fall from the sky like unending rains and

you shall hae the freedom to bathe in

whicheer one soothes you best. There will

be no $udgment and there will be no

lectures, shame or reproof. These old,

sickly people who stand here before you

represent a sad, old world. Their morals

hae no place in the empire we will build,

me and those who $oin me today... an empire

that will surpass in greatness and gloryall other empires this world has eer

seen." As >utsceath shouts out his promises

to the mass of people in the temple, his

two aids, still hooded stand their ground,



like faithful guardians ready to defend

their master at any cost. The meeting's

attendees, in small groups, talk to each

other with whispers, confused and da77ledby the strange but bold words of this new

man that defies eerything they hae eer

known, appalled an awed at the same time.

#is sharp, daring sentences stir their

souls and most of them, silent, look out

carefully for any change in the atmosphere

of the large hall. 9rom behind one of thecolumns, a boy struggles his way toward

>utsceath and makes his oice heard all

throughout the temple, when he shouts out

proudly, "* will follow you, my king)"

efore the echo of his eclamation fades

away, the entire crowd stands ama7ed and

more confusion and insecurity takes hold ofthem. >utsceath turns to the boy, smiling

wickedly and says in a softer oice, ":ou

see% Do you see it now%" And takes a short

brake like waiting for an answer from

someone in the crowd. "5ome forth, child,

let them see you. +et them understand why

you are the braest here, why you are the

first one to step up to claim your true

self. :ou may see $ust a little boy here,

but * see a great leader, a great hero with

unlimited potential, a great con8ueror, for

he has managed to escape the lies and

merciless propaganda that was carried out

against his soul since birth. The likes of

him will be at the helm of the emergingworld, a world that is being born right

before your eyes here, today, in this ery

temple." The boy smiles proud, like a child

that has $ust gained the faor of his



father, summoning the eny of his siblings.

#e looks up to the powerful tall orator,

paying close attention to eery single word

that is being spoken, shouted or whisperedaround him. #e is happy and anious and

looks at the faces of the less fortunate

than him, to the faces of those who do not

yet understand as he does, hoping there

will be more like him, more who will $oin

this awe6inspiring man. The grin on

>utsceath's face widens as two more menapproach with a miture of pride and

apprehension and align themseles behind

their newly found king. The boy looks up at

them with approal in his attentie eyes

and takes a step closer towards his leader

to place himself in the protectie aura of

the great man. #ungry eyes keep searchingthe faces of the recruits and around the

hall waiting, asking who will be net, who

will $oin this newly formed soereign

nation of glory. (ome want to 8uestion

their madness but do not dare speak out and

some want to $ust do away with the

confusion that is gripping their minds.

A heay silence is pushing down on all the

souls of the gathering, eeryone waiting,

trying to anticipate the net moe of the

council, the only two baring a grin being

>utsceath and the boy. !ore people get at

the side of >utsceath, as his epression

remains unchanged. "Do you beliee it now%

Do you understand it now%" #e asks the oldman, who watches calmly but clearly

saddened by the unfolding eents. "=eople

are free to decide for themseles and free



to do as they please to follow any idea

they desire," the old man speaks gently.

":es) Cnder my reign, yes they are,"

>utsceath cuts through the unbearableatmosphere, "as opposed to the freedom they

posses under yours, which is the freedom to

do as you please." The men hae stopped

$oining the now large circle of recruits

and eeryone waits for the head of the

council to say anything at all, to comfort

them in any way possible and dissipate thethick tension amassed in the hall. Taking a

few more moments to think it through,

getting up, he speaks to the thousands of

anious, epecting eyes, "!y brothers know

that, upon you today no $udgment will be

passed. 9or we are not $udges of man nor

tyrants who reign aboe you. *f $oiningthis man is what you desire than so be it.

*t is how it is supposed to be and there

cannot be another way. What comes to pass

is what must come to pass such is the

re8uirement of the laws of the unierse.

:ou are not eil men and which eer be your

choice, you are learning precious lessons,

at the same time proiding lessons for

others to learn as well. +essons none of us

could do without lessons we can aoid or

postpone only for so long. *t does not

matter if we stand diided, bow to

different statues, speak different

languages or hae different ideas as long

as we all remember remember how we are allone one and the same and only an illusion

separates us from our seles, from the

source to which we struggle to return,

struggle to learn the lessons necessary to



get back to the oneness from which we came.

And return we shall my brothers, richer and

wiser than eer, * promise you." As the old

man finishes his words in a shaky oice,the light coming from outside he temple

dims down 8uickly, the day turning into

night and flashes of lightning lash the

darkened sky.

">utsceath) What hae you done%" The

younger member of the council $umps to his

feet and asks loudly. ":ou haen'taccomplished anything here today, but make

a fool out of yourself. *s this what you

call an army% This small and pitiful group

of confused souls, look at them) A mere

handful." As >utsceath and his followers

head straight to one of the eits of the

temple, the ground starts to shakeiolently and deafening thunder coers the

panicked screams of the people who push and

trample on each other to escape from the

crumbling building. "A handful is all *

need," >utsceath whispers the answer to

himself as he disappears from sight.



11

"#ow about net (aturday%" Tim asks, with

the enthusiasm of a child."*f you promise to replenish the supply of

that special beer, we're on."

"*t's being taken care of as we speak, my

friend," Tim promises rad. "What's that

singing * hear, where are you%"

"* hae to go Tim, catch you later," rad

says and hangs up his cell phone before hisfriend can say anything back. The kids are

all gathered around the woman, listening

8uietly as she sings to them. The tone of

her oice shrinks rad<s stomach and

caresses his soul, bringing tears to his

eyes. 9rom the hallway of the crowded

hospital, he sees and hears nothing buther. (he appears bright and happy through

his tunnel ision as he wonders at the

reaction he is haing. #e cannot understand

the rush of feelings flooding into his

chest and for the first time he lets go. #e

stops all attempts to understand and $ust

listens to the melodic oice with all his

being. There is nothing left in the whole

unierse but her song. #e absorbs eery

note, takes in eery ibration and along

with the first tear, the heay baggage of

stress and fatigue amassed in the last

months falls to the ground, smashing to

pieces on the white tiles of the hospital

floor. #e can feel the bad energydissipating, being pulled out of him by

some unknown beneolent force. A kind, soft

ripple of itality cleans his heart of all

negatiity as he listens to the beautiful



song of the woman of his dreams, the woman

with the name of a flower. #e is completely

still and wishes for this moment to last

foreer. -o longer afraid or worried, helets the oice moe through eery part of

his body, welcoming the loing touch of the

notes that glide through his mind and soul

like morning rays of sunshine on the

surface of a lake. When the singing stops,

he does not know how much time passed and

does not care, for the first time in hislife. All he can think of is how to gather

enough courage to talk to her. After a few

more minutes spent with the children, who

seem to want to keep her for all time,

smothering her with hugs she heads out,

missing rad<s stare due to the congestion

on the hallway. rad snaps out of histrance and starts following her, knowing

there will not be another chance, coninced

he will lose her foreer if he does not

talk to her in the net moment. #e bumps

into people while the thought of losing her

tortures his mind oer and oer. #e tries

to figure out the first word to say to her

without making a fool of himself but

free7es $ust as soon as his desperate cry

for her name reaches her ears, before

touching the handle of the eit door. (he

turns around to see rad blocked, unable to

moe or speak, with his hand reaching out

to her. #e can see she is pu77led and

intrigued, and through her kind smile sheanswers his call, ":es% What is it%" (he

approaches him slowly, amused at his

posture and curious to find out his story.

"#ow do you know my name% Would you care to



share with me your name as well, so as to

make things less awkward and moe from

there%" (he asks him, barely refraining

from chuckling. #e is still fro7en, like astatue in winter but with newly found

strength he manages to redirect his

etended arm into a handshake and replies

with half his oice, "#ello *'m rad.

"#ello, rad. * take it you're not a

patient here."

"-o. :es * mean no, *'m not a patient," hestutters. "*t's only natural that the most

beautiful oice in the world belongs to the

most beautiful woman in the world," he says

not knowing where the words are coming

from.

"Well that is out of contet, but thanks."

(he can not help her cheeks blush, and letsgo of his hand. "Thank you for the

compliment, rad, but * can assure you, *

am far from being the best singer in the

world, or the most beautiful woman in the

world."

"*'m sorry to hae startled you, * did not

mean to do that. *'e seen you before, and

*'e asked around for your name"

":ou're not some kind of stalker, are you%"

(he interrupts him.

"-o, no, no, nothing of the sort, please,

let me take you out for a coffee or

something, please," rad almost begs her,

feeling like something is putting words

into his mouth."(o you'e been around before. !aybe that

eplains the strong feeling of dL$M6u *'m

haing right now," she says more to herself

and heads for the door. rad feels like his



stomach is pierced by hundreds of needles

and for a second he beliees he has lost

her foreer, scared her away with his

stupid words. "(o are you coming or not%"(he asks standing in the door.

"(ure) (orry about that... sometimes *

$ust free7e."

"(o *'e noticed," she smiles, closing the

door behind them. As they walk down the

street, rad becomes completely thawed and

natural. ;ery trace of fear andawkwardness disappears. #e is confident and

happy, the unconscious appreciation towards

the inisible force driing him along,

present in the back of his mind. They

already know a lot about each other and

suddenly, rad takes her by the hand and

they stop. (he looks into his eyes, andtightens her grip. ":ou know it's so

strange, this feeling that *'e known you

since foreer."

"* feel the same," he replies while unable

to take his eyes away from hers.

"Do you think maybe, we'e met before in

another life%/ #e asks, the smile on his

face shrinking isibly. (he instantly sheds

a tear without knowing why and they put

their arms around one another, holding each

other tight, silently. The first snowflake

melts on the warm soft skin of her face

that rests on his chest. (he listens to the

rhythmic sound of his heart and feels the

outpour of loing energy. *t warms her andgies her strength. "Why do * feel sad all

of a sudden and happy at the same time%"

(he looks up to him, eyes drenched in

tears.



"* feel the same * don't know why."

"*t all seems so "

"9amiliar," he finishes her sentence.

":es," she replies while an aalanche of8uestions assaults her mind. "Why am *

crying% *t's so good near you, but Why do

* feel this sadness% (he backs up from the

embrace and continues through the snow,

still holding hands. "* mean we're perfect

strangers and yet it feels right. *t feels

like eerything is as it's supposed to be,like eerything is in it's"

"=lace%" #e cuts in again.

":es. *t feels like it all somehow, makes

sense."

rad shrugs and keeps listening to her

8uestions, happy, smiling and glowing. They

stop again, "rad, who are you%" (he askslaughing.

":ou know *'e asked myself that 8uestion

only so many times before."

"And%"

"And * hae yet to discoer any plausible

answers to it. *t's one of the many

8uestions * ask, eery day but maybe you

can answer it," he says while opening the

door to the coffee shop for her. They smile

and go in and after a few moments their

tracks are coered by the rapidly falling

snow, like an artist, eagerly filling out

the colorless spots in his painting.

14



The force of the blow is so powerful that

he loses his balance and falls to the

ground. ;mptied of strength, he waits

resigned for the sword to strike him,sending him to the warrior's afterlife. #e

closes his eyes and feels the heay, cold

drops of rain washing the dirt off his

face. The black mud that coers the bodies

of the fallen around him is stirred by the

rain that seems to neer end. *t collects

the blood of men into black reddish riers,spilling into larger pools of death,

whirling and thirsty for more. #e opens his

eyes to see his enemy being struck down by

a friendly sword, collapsing without a

sound net to him, face down in the red,

watery clay.

">et up, Thracius) #is friend lifts him tohis feet, "the Eoman pigs are retreating)"

#e looks around, di77y and out of phase

with reality, not reali7ing yet what had

happened. "Take my horse, go, 8uickly) (he

will carry you like the wind, my brother)"

#e helps him saddle up and gies him the

sword he dropped. Thracius steers the horse

and they gallop away from the

battlegrounds, the hooes digging deep into

the soft, drenched soil. The animal runs

without the slightest protest, like a loyal

serant, feeling his master's pain and

understanding his hopes. #e rides for

hours, until the horse slows down, and

breathing heaily, collapses on its side.Thracius roles oer to aoid being caught

under the foaming, sweaty mare, who looks

like she is ready to receie the punishment

for her uselessness, for her failure to



remain at least standing. #e crawls through

the mud toward the horses head and looks

into the large eyes. #e puts his hand on

the mare's nose, feeling the warmth of thefast panting of the animal, sending his

gratitude. #e gets up and starts running

for his illage, he runs without stopping,

$ust one thought in his mind. #e feels

completely ehausted and his lungs and

throat burn from the cold air. With his

house in sight, he gathers all hisremaining endurance and runs for the door.

#e almost collapses through it, to see

inside three women bent oer a screaming

newborn. They turn to him, and the

epression on their faces tells him

eerything. #e understands and slowly moes

closer to the bed where she lies. #e kneelslooking at her, crying silently, the trail

of tears washing a clean line through the

mud on his face. #e buries his head in her

shoulder and screams with all his remaining

might, clenching the cloth coering her

body.



1

":ou were right, mother" rad says while

cleaning away the fro7en snow from thetombstone to reeal the name. #e puts his

hands to his mouth to warm them up and goes

on, ":ou were right& there really is

someone out there for each of us. * know

it's still early but * really feel it *

feel she is the one for me. * wish you

could hae seen her. (o beautiful and good6hearted there still are many unknowns in

my life but since her it's like that

doesn't really matter anymore. *t's all

good and in it's right place. +ook at me"

he chuckles, "talking to a tomb stone, but

still it's all good * mean, if you

consider the fact that energy can't bedestroyed, then, maybe you really are

somewhere out there, listening," he smiles

with the usual amount of doubt in his mind

and looks down at the snow. "*t feels like

there's nothing * can't do when *'m around

her, * know it sounds cra7y and * really

can't eplain it right * bet you neer

heard so much nonsense from me before if

you could $ust see her for a second, you

would understand eerything, you would

know. * told her about my work and my

ideas& she was ery enthusiastic about it.

* think this is what they mean when they

say happiness is only true if shared. *

neer really got that before her. ut now *do," he leaes his head down again,

grinning widely in between the isible

streams of his breathing, playing with his

feet in the snow, like an embarrassed



child. "*'e ah, *'e been thinking *

know what you'd say to that *'m thinking

all the time, but * really think she's the

one, mother And now *'m repeating myselflike a broken record (o maybe that's how

being in loe feels," he reali7es. "+oe

turns you into an incoherent fool with

butterflies in your stomach, babbling about

nonsensical things all day long. ;en

worse, some disturb the peace of the dead,"

he laughs. "* don't know but it's alright.* know it is, * am coninced of it. *t

feels so good to know things, to hae

certainties to hold on to. (o unlike me, *

know, but so liberating, it's wonderful. *

reali7e now * was liing at the etremes

and that is the worst thing anyone can do.

:ou would probably say "* told you so," butyou know how it is, mother until one gets

to actually lie the things he heard so

many adices about, one doesn't learn

doesn't really learn anything. *

understood many things in only a short

while *'e met strange and wonderful

people and now that * think about it, *

understand it's all for the best. * hae

met the eact people * needed to meet at

the eact time * needed. There was no other

way *t's so clear now, * understand. *

know they'e told me eactly what * needed

to hear and not a word less. 5ra7y, right%

* also understand why father left. *t was

because he and eerybody else connected tohim, needed him to leae, so that we can

become what we are today. -othing is eer

too late or too early, or too little or too

much, eerything is $ust right, een if it



does not seem to be when it hits us. Does

that imply we hae no free will% * do not

know. Do we hae more free will than we can

handle% Again, * don't know. * reali7e howthat might sound, but * trust you would

understand. :ou always understood this sort

of things"

"(he understands perfectly, * assure you,"

the tall man startles rad who needs a few

moments to bring himself back to reality

and recogni7e the man from his mother'shouse and from the bus. "* was wondering

when we would bump into each other, again,"

rad replies in a calm manner.

"* am sorry, rad, we haen't been properly

introduced. !y name is Anton. They shake

hands and rad is surprised of how warm the

tall man's hand is. ":ou must hae amillion 8uestions right now"

"* would say that's about right. >ie or

take a few hundred," he answers smiling.

":our mother was a ery special person.

This earth is much poorer now that she is

gone. ut that is the way it was meant to

be, you know% We each make our stand, gie

what we're supposed to gie and moe on."

"And do you beliee eeryone gies

something%"

"Absolutely (ome gie more than others,

but neertheless, eeryone contributes."

"* see *n that case, * can't help but

wonder if * gae enough."

":ou still hae some time left to gie, butwhen you're done, * am sure you would hae

gien eactly what the unierse needed from

you."



"That's ery reassuring" oth men keep

staring at the stone, aoiding each other's

ga7e.

"Eeassuring and true, een if you may findthat a bit hard to digest right now."

"Trust me when * say *'m digesting loads,

these days. Just try me."

">lad to hear it, rad."

"(o why don't you start by eplaining your

part in all of this, how you know me, how

you got to know my mother ""Well, * don't think * can eplain my part,

eactly, but * can try eplaining the rest.

After all, how many of us are so lucky to

know our part, our place, and our mission

in life%"

"-ot too many, * guess."

"(o listen why don't we take a walk to myplace, * lie $ust on the other side of the

cemetery. We can talk there, away from the

cold. 9rom the looks of it, you will be

fro7en solid before we get through half of

your 8uestions."

"Alright. As long as you got some fine

spirits to share."

"0h, *'e got something much better than

that," Anton smiles.

The two men make their way down the alley

that cuts the cemetery in half, through the

free7ing stones with names on them. *n the

distant corner, rad can see a silhouette

bending oer a grae to place flowers,

wonders about his story and in the sametime intrigued by the peculiar situation

facing him right now, anious for more

answers and reelations.



1F

":our burning up, but don't worry, *'ll

take care of you, * promise. :ou will befine soon, you will see)" #e comforts her,

while washing her forehead with a wet

towel. #e sits down on a chair besides the

bed and watches her with despair in his

eyes. ":ou'll be fine, you'll see," he

keeps muttering.

"*'m going to die soon," she says with aweak oice.

"Don't talk my loe, rest." #e pulls the

coer up to her chin and wipes some more

sweat off her face.

"*t's been too long maybe if they would

hae let us leae the city in time how

long%""=lease rest, my loe."

"*t's been so long since we were out

locked in this poisonous prison of death."

"Don't speak like that, it will be oer

soon and we will leae this city foreer."

"As soon as they open the gates again, you

must go and neer return, you hear me% (he

says with a stronger oice.

"What are you talking about, * won't leae

without you. We will leae together, $ust

as soon as you will feel better.

"-o it's too late for me"

"-o) * won't leae you."

"Don't you see% *'m going to die, $ust like

the rest." #e shakes his head, cryingwithout saying anything. "* can't let that

happen. * won't) * loe you)" he answers

enraged.



"* know you do, my loe" she struggles to

smile to coer her pains. ":ou hae been so

good to me, promise me you will go and lie

a long happy life. :ou will find some oneto care about, someone who will take care

of you."

"-o)" he cries out.

"+ie life to the fullest, loe and be

happy *t is how you will honor my memory."

"#ow can * eer be happy without you%" #e

screams, "#ow% Tell me)" They hear noiseand shouting from outside and he gets up to

go to the window. Through the small crack,

he can see two doctors. "They are here to

check for sick people," she says, the tone

of her oice denoting a kind of

resignation.

"-o, * won't let them take you."":ou must, it's for the best."

"=lease, don't say such things, * beg you)"

"0pen up, let us in)" from outside the

door, they pound and shout, "0pen up)"

"*t's alright, my loe, it's alright," the

sick woman tells her husband with loing

eyes, weeping.

#e unlocks the door and the doctors burst

in, going straight to the woman lying in

bed. 0ne of them turns her head oer and

points to the big, round pustule on her

neck. They look at each other from under

the long beak masks that look to be from a

piece of Tragedy Theater celebrating death.

Their muffled oices echange 8uick, shortwords, "(he's got it."

"*t's the plague. We must take her at once&

put her in with the others." The words of

the two men dressed in long, heay, waed



leather coats and hats fall upon his ears

like punishing thunder of a god filled with

wrath and as they take the woman away from

him, foreer, he falls to his knees, hisentire world crashing down on him with the

weight of a thousand suns.



1I

"-ice place you got here. Hery simple,"

rad says a bit surprised looking aroundthe big room with almost no furniture.

"* try to lead a simple life. :ou would be

ama7ed to see how little people actually

need."

"-o TH, right%"

"-o need. * fabricate my own news and

ideologies," he laughs."* hear that."

"=lease, make yourself at home," Anton says

showing rad a pillow on the ground.

"-o chairs"

"* could get you one but really, you should

try sitting like this more often. :ou're

closer to mother earth, closer to herhealing energies and the lotus position, if

you can manage it, facilitates a smoother

connection with >aia."

">aia, sure the spirit of the earth. *

read about that."

"* am sure you did, rad. *'ll be right

back with something to warm you up."

"(ure, take your time," rad answers

looking around the big, candle lit room,

relaed by their flicker. #e can feel

getting warm and comfortable and pleasant

feelings surround him. #is thoughts drift

slowly away from the room as he imagines

himself in a sunny apple orchard in bloom.

#e feels so relaed he would like to $ustlie down and sleep.

"#ere you go, rad,/ Anton startles him,

putting down the tray with the drinks. ":ou

0B%"



":eah, sure, $ust that my mind was pretty

far away again. This place has a certain

for a lack of a better word comfort to it.

*t's ery pleasant to be here.""*t is, isn't it%/ Anton smiles $oyfully.

"*'m glad you got that. #ae you eer been

to someone's home and felt like you could

stay there foreer% +ike eerything there

was so welcoming and comforting% *t's

because of the energy the people put in the

place, their ibes if you will. The ibesof the place are positie and soothing. As

opposed to some other places where the

negatie energy there is so powerful you

can't een sit down and $ust want to get

out as fast as possible% *t's all about the

people. We make the place good or bad with

our thoughts. Thought is energy and wechoose if it's positie or negatie. And

yes eerything is influenced by thought.

*n a sense, we build the unierse in which

we lie with our minds. This is where the

scientists are failing repeatedly.

;cluding the obserer from the eperiment,

when the obserer was and will always be an

intrinsic part of the eperiment. -ot to

mention how different each obserer's

reality is."

"* think * know what you mean. There was

this aunt * used to isit when * was a

child and without knowing why, * would

always inent reasons to stay longer. *t

was so peaceful there. !akes sense, *guess."

"Does a tree, falling in a distant forest

make any sound if there's no one there to

hear it% *s the photon a wae when we're



looking at it and a particle when nobody's

watching% *s it both at the same time% !y

point is that wheneer someone looks for a

specific thing, usually that someone findswhat he's looking for, do you understand

what * mean%"

":es, * think * do," rad smiles, while

sipping from the tea Anton brought. "This

is pretty good. *'m not a tea drinker but

this, * like."

"*t's a miture of different plants, eachwith it's own special property, some you

can find on the side of the road and for

some you hae to go deeper into the forest.

0r on some mountain on the other side of

the planet. :ou'll see how relaing it is.

The trick is to know which ones to mi

together for you see, this earth gies usall we need to lie a long, healthy life

but the modern world easily dismisses

things like that. -ature knows best,

animals for eample know eactly what herb

to eat for any disease they might hae.

They $ust know. And we forgot or we simply

ignore it all, putting all our faith in

chemicals and artificiality."

"* cannot but agree with you, Anton. Tell

me how eactly did you get to know my

mother%"

"*'d be happy to. We met at the uniersity

where your mother thought her classes. :ou

see * was a teacher there, too. We had

common interests so we became good friends.We supported each other in eery way we

could. We easily understood each other

since we both lost the one we loed. !y



wife left too, only a lot farther than your

father did."

"0h, *'m sorry to hear that."

"*t's 0B. * am at peace with that. *t iswhat needed to happen and that is what

happened."

"* guess so you say you were a teacher,

why not anymore%"

"Well * was a professor or theoretical

physics"

"0B," rad interrupts, “glad to hear that.""but * could not do it anymore, because

when you reali7e certain things it becomes

almost impossible. ;ither you go on with

the hypocrisy or you bail out. * began to

8uestion eerybody's methods and ways of

doing and thinking you know. And that

unsettled many people. * stirred the watersand * flipped my own boat oer. >oing

against the commonly accepted norms and

models will do that to you. ;specially when

on those commonly accepted norms and models

rest the carriers of all your peers and

many books must be rewritten. * think you

get the point."

":es, * do perfectly."

"Anyway we hae both, me and your mother

been through some tough times but we were

there for each other. *t meant a lot."

"ut"

"Hery good friends is what we always

remained," Anton says, anticipating rad<s

8uestion, "your mother, een if she didn'tshow it, neer stopped loing your old man

and she secretly waited for him eery day.

(he neer lost hope. * could not hae



interfered between that * hope you

understand."

"* do, een though * wish she wouldn't hae

been alone for so long $ust because ofme."

"That is the last thing you should blame

yourself with, remember, what we truly need

form the unierse to adance, to become

better is $ust what we get. *sn't that the

whole point, to continuously strie for

betterment%""=robably * don't know."

"That is also a good approach to things in

general. There are too many people who are

coninced they do know. And we can all see

what comes from that."

"Absolutely," rad smiles and sips some

more tea. "Would you say you are now somekind of wild healer, a modern shaman or

something like that%"

"5an one name really fully describe some

one%/ Anton replies cryptically.

"Cnderstood (o you chose the middle

ground, not a religious etremist and at

the same time not giing it all up for the

latest scientific model."

";actly right. *t's because * beliee true

enlightenment and adancement will come

from the perfect marriage of the scientific

with the spiritual."

"*nteresting point of iew, * like it."

"Thank you, * really appreciate that,"

Anton says with all honesty."* hae to say it's tough out there, for

someone with this kind of thinking."

":ou don't know the half of it. :our

mother she was the only person in the



whole uniersity who did not think * was

hopelessly insane. The unierse will always

throw you a life $acket een when you think

you hae surely drowned in the sea of life.The catch is to recogni7e the life $acket

in time, because as you might hae

eperienced in your life too, the life

$acket rarely looks like one. *n fact, most

of the times it looks like something

totally different."

"* know what you mean," rad repliesthoughtful, immensely en$oying the

discussion.

"* know it's funny if you're not the one

drowning but sooner or later we all swim

for our lies. *t is ineitable. 0therwise,

there would be nothing to learn. There

would be no real adancement.""ut sometimes don't you $ust wish to

adance a little slower%" rad asks

ironically.

"Absolutely, my friend," Anton laughs.

"*sn't it odd how eerything around us is

built in such a way as to keep us from the

enlightenment you speak about% Why do you

think that is% Why does it hae to be so

difficult%"

"Well, * don't know if eerything, but most

things are made that way, yes."

"* mean, at what point wow, this tea

really is good, at what point is the line

drawn% When does anyone hae the right to

say this is enough, this is all you need toknow, this is all you can be, and this is

what you must do% :ou know what * mean% *

don't think *'m phrasing it right Does

anybody really hae the right to suppress



us and keep us from becoming more than we

are%"

"* think * see your point it all comes

down to profit. *f you ask yourself whoprofits and follow the clues, you'll get to

the bottom of things."

"Gui bono "

";actly take for instance the goernment,

any goernment. They are all built on the

same ideas. Beep the people in constant

fear and insecurity to make them belieethey need a goernment for protection. The

same with the church, they profit immensely

from the belieers and certainly, $ust as

the goernment they do not need rightly

functioning indiiduals who 8uestion things

and doubt dogmas and ideologies,

indiiduals with a critical mind. -ot atall what they need is eactly the

opposite. And toward this common goal,

these two institutions, let's call them,

work together in perfect harmony. Think

about it all the substances they call

drugs and deem illegal because they assign

themseles the right to decide for us what

is good and what is bad, those substances

come from nature, from plants. Who has the

right to ban nature, to forbid anything

from nature or maybe een worse, patent it%

*t is belieed the sudden leap in human

brainpower came from the fact that they

were consuming certain plants and

mushrooms, freely growing in nature. *beliee the plant kingdom communicates with

us chemically. They do not hae hands to

write or mouths to talk with, but certainly

they are liing beings and they communicate



with us through the chemicals they secrete.

#ow do you eplain the fact that our brains

hae receptors for most substances out

there in the forest% Eeceptors that matcheactly the T#5 molecule, for eample. A

place in the brain with the eact shape of

the respectie molecule, ready for it,

ready to receie it. -othing else could fit

in there but this specific one. =retty mind

boggling, right%"

"*n the least, yes," rad repliesfascinated.

"!an has always looked for altered states

of consciousness and brain growth has

followed. These altered states hae been an

integral part of many, many cultures. =roof

is eerywhere. ;en animals do it. The

early shamans, thanks to these plants couldconnect to nature on such a leel that they

always knew what was best for the tribe,

and they were among the most respected in

their society. D!T is released by the

pineal gland during birth, death and other

naturally occurring psychedelic states and

is also found in nature in a ine, from

which the indigenous people of the Ama7on

rainforests make the Ayahuasca brew."

":es, * heard about that. =eople report

life changing reelations and deep insight

into the nature of the unierse. !aybe *

should try that once."

"Absolutely these things are called drugs

and are demoni7ed eactly because theirpotential for enriching the human mind. The

awakening of people is not the main concern

of the aboe6mentioned institutions.



"*t most certainly not is not. * had this

eye opening discussion recently, with this

fellow that called himself !ason. 9rom what

* gathered, he was working with all hisenergy and resources to preent $ust that,

the awakening of the people. And it seemed

like he had plenty energy and resources at

his disposal. ut it wasn't like a regular

soldier or man on a mission, no he was

passionate about it. #e was coninced of

eery word he said. *t was disturbing tosay the least."

"* understand perfectly, rad. 0er the

years, * hae learned to recogni7e the

psychopathic trait with ease. And * get to

see it more and more, eerywhere. =eople

hae formed the wrong idea about

psychopaths. They are seen as the typicalhorror moie a murderers, when in fact

most psychopaths will walk by you on the

street without you een suspecting it. They

can pass as the kind net6door neighbor any

day. 5orporate office buildings are filled

with this type."

":ou got that right"

"They thrie on control and subersion and

because most people are authority drien,

they will take the so called epert's words

oer their eyes, anytime. This psychopathic

trait is pathological in nature, these

people really are sick. They lack the

ability to feel any kind of remorse or

guilt. ased on this and semantics,countless wars are started. The

psychopathic sadists start them and the

psychopathic masochists fight them, simple

as that. And you don't need to be some kind



of genius to see this, you $ust hae to

stop and look around you. *t does not get

any more obious than this The legal

system how does that actually help us wheneeryone knows the lawmakers will always be

aboe the law% And do we eer really hae a

case at all when the base of the present

legal system is based on the phrase 'no law

or fact shall eer be tried in a court of

law'% Why do you think the $udge wears a

black robe% *t's because he's in mourning,'cause lady $ustice is dead, that's why.

The earth is a essel in a sea of space

therefore eerything is sub$ect to maritime

law. We're all mere cargo, property of the

captains and the court of law is only a doc

on dry land. That's why when you're born,

you need a document of birth. When you aregien a name, you become the property of

the corporation known as your country. Why

are we forced to register our biological

property with a warehouse receipt% *t's

because it's the first step in moneti7ing

our being, turn us into collateral. That is

all you are to these people. *t's our souls

they're haing trouble moneti7ing that, *

would not like to be around to see, if they

succeed."

"*'e neer though of it this way before"

"And the corporations hae mastered the art

of eploitation. They hae turned human

beings into human resources, because there

is no such thing as capitalism with aconscience. The only real resource is the

human being and they know this, that's why

they practice human farming so

successfully. The ery products that we buy



enslae us, like neer before& we hae

become a society of the totally enslaed.

5ommodities guarantee the happiness of the

modern slae who pays for his own cage,ruled by symbols and images. The modern

slae who is thought to hate medicinal

plants branded as drugs while engorging

with coffee in the morning to aid them in

the mindless menial tasks of his corporate

soul crushing $ob, and with alcohol in the

eening to forget all about it so he canstart all oer the net day. (ometimes,

this modern slae, liing always on

borrowed time will hae a brief moment of

clarity and will see freedom in the

forbidden things. This is how the outlaw is

created And because of oer7ealous

sadistic psychopaths we get to lie in aworld that inests more in imprisoning

people than on educating them. There is no

such thing as a war on drugs, the war is on

people And it's relentless. :ou must

ecuse me if * get carried away sometimes

*t $ust had to get that out and people need

to hear and know these things."

"-ot at all, Anton, getting carried away is

what it's all about," rad smiles.

"*t's for this type of heresies and

blasphemy * was labeled as a nut case."

"*n that case, the world needs more

heretics and blasphemers, no doubt about

it." Anton looks with soft eyes to rad and

without saying anything, rad knows he isbeing grateful.

"We are born into a wonderful ocean of

knowledge, and yet, we choose to swim in

stagnant pools of dogma" rad adds.



"Hery nicely put, * like that," Anton

replies.

":ou know what * think%" rad asks changing

the direction of the discussion, "* thinkwe can adance as a race, without all this

pain, there is no need for it. * really

think we could do it."

"Well" Anton says, slowly searching for

his words, "* think a society that allows

usury as a legitimate business is not well.

And it is no measure of health to be wellad$usted to a profoundly sick society. We

can see life as blissful happiness or as a

liing hell so maybe it all comes down to

a matter of choice. We find what we're

looking for, remember%"

"5an't really argue with something that

makes sense. :ou seem to know me betterthan * thought," rad says een more

intrigued of the situation.

"* can read people pretty accurately."

"*t's a useful ability, that's certain."

"*n most cases, yes."

":ou spoke earlier that fear keeps people

in control, but it seems to me that despite

that, we glorify fear and the things that

frighten us. Why do you think that is%"

"Well perhaps that is the residue of an

outdated eolutionary mechanism. 9earing

the predators lurking constantly at eery

step, we learned to pay attention first of

all to the things that frighten us. We

could not afford otherwise. ut soon wewill hae to reali7e we hae come to a

point where paying attention to fear is no

longer necessary and we will concentrate on

different things."



";olutionary mechanisms new software

running on outdated hardware" rad says

reminiscent of his discussion with the

doctor."Why yes, much like that," Anton says

pleasantly surprised again. "We hae to

upgrade the old hardware and * beliee that

can come about through a mass awakening of

people."

"About that * do not see it happening ery

soon. *t sounds pessimistic but it's what *beliee, the realistic part of me, at

least."

"e the change you want to see in the

world, rad," Anton smiles at him. "We'll

go on from there."

"*'m trying to do eactly that."

"9rom the looks of it you're on the rightpath, rad. :ou ask the right 8uestions and

we settled that one finds what one is

looking for."

"And the first step toward that, is

actually knowing what you're looking for."

"Absolutely true knowing what you want is

the most important step of eery $ourney.

:ou would be surprised how many people hae

no idea what they want. And they are

completely stuck because of that."

"ut how do we know that what we want is

actually what we need%"

"We don't, but isn't that part of the fun

of discoery%" Anton says ery

enthusiastically."* like the way you tackle life * wish *

could do it like that."

"Again, it is a matter of choice."



"* guess it is" rad replies, feeling a

bit disappointed. "(o, you really beliee

we are immortal souls on a long $ourney of

discoery and improement%""That is what * beliee, yes."

"Don't you think that might be $ust another

fail6safe we grab on to, $ust to hae the

necessary comfort, the necessary mindset to

allow ourseles to go on% *t would

certainly be infinitely easier to accept

our mortality.""*t is a possibility, absolutely * cannot

deny it. The acceptance of mortality is

indeed a big problem for humanity. !any

problems we face now hae their roots in

it. ut if indeed it is so, then * say,

gentlemen, the time of life is short, and

if we lie, we lie to thread on kings)"">ood old (hakespeare," rad grins,

delighted.

"Why not make the most of it, why not en$oy

the countless opportunities, lie and let

lie%" Anton goes on.

"+ie and let lie that sure sounds like a

good life philosophy."

"*t's a great life philosophy," Anton

gestures widely with his hands. ";en if we

only get one chance at life, $ust one life,

* don't see why we can't make the most of

it. !eet people, make friends, help one

another, en$oy the sun, respect nature,

swim in the sea, climb the mountains, see

the world, loe and be loed, be happy and* can go on foreer. There's little chance

for boredom on this planet, let me tell

you."



"* completely agree. +et us assume for a

second that we are immortal souls,

traeling through the plane of physical

eperience in search of enlightenment. 9orme, some things $ust do not add up, for

eample why don't we remember our past

lies% Wouldn't that be easier if the whole

point is to know%"

"That's a good 8uestion, my friend, and *'m

afraid no one can really answer it. ut

what * think is that we forget because ourlimited human psyche could not handle such

a large baggage of emotion, you know%

*magine remembering the last, say, one

thousand lifetimes. *magine remembering all

the pain and sorrow, the way you died, all

the hurt surely there would also be good

things we would remember but you know howwe tend to recall mostly the bad things.

They stick with us longer and clearer, that

is in our nature, * guess. Eecalling all

that, would crush us eery time. * think it

is necessary to forget. ;ither way, it's a

magnificently beautiful, wonderfully

mysterious trip een if so ery often, to

the most of us, it does feel like a

$ester's dance." rad forces a faint smile

and drops his ga7e to the ground in deep

thought, the usual thorn of constant

uncertainty pricking at his soul.

":et, * think there will come a time in our

eolution when our minds will hae epanded

so much, we will remember eerything, eerytime, with little trouble."

"*f we surie," rad says with a straight

face.



"We will surie, and we will be

magnificent, that's a promise."

"*t's a bold one"

"Eemember, we lie to thread on kings,rad)" Anton says, maintaining his

enthusiasm.

"0pen your eyes, rad, look around.

;erything has its place, its purpose,

nothing is useless, not een parasites,

for that matter."

"-othing is what it seems" rad says,still serious. * sometimes wonder about

that parasites. Are they aware of the

conse8uences of their eistence% Would they

change anything if they suddenly became

aware of that or would they carry on in

good conscience%"

"The parasite's parado * do not know butyou're right, nothing is what it seems,

it's a lot more than that) 0ur eyes can

only see one percent of the spectrum of the

unierse. We can only imagine what awaits

our senses out there, once we grow and when

we grow, we are magnificent)"

"0nce we grow yes. 5onsidering we are

toddlers, now, at the most there's a long

road ahead of us. We say the primitie man

was a myth maker, and if so, then what does

that make us% We haen't changed one bit."

"We are entering a new age of self

empowerment and discoery, where people

will be free from mythological superstition

and puritan mentality. *t is the age ofA8uarius," he smiles widely.

"(peaking about =uritanism #.+. !encken

defined it as the haunting fear that

someone, somewhere, is haing a good time."





"0r the simple fact that we seem to find

what we look for," rad adds.

"0r that," Anton shrugs between chuckles.

"*'m glad you seem to be a man who does notembrace a single eplanation," rad

compliments the older man. "*t would hae

made for a shorter, boring conersation."

"* know what you mean, always check both

sides of the coin is what * say, and neer

with absolute coniction. The engraing on

it changes from time to time and if you getstuck on $ust one side you won't be able to

see the new ones. :ou won't een notice

when the coin has changed and you're

looking at a completely different one."

"-icely put, Anton," rad nods.

"Thank you."

":ou know so often * feel so small andinsignificant and hate myself for not being

able to understand more, to know more. And

it $ust feels like there's neer enough

time for anything. +ately it's as if time

is becoming more compressed somehow, and

there is less and less of it like

eerything is speeding up. * don't know if

you noticed it or een understand what *

mean."

"* think *'m getting the idea. #ae you

heard of something called the (chumann

resonance%"

"* don't think so no," rad says, curious

for the eplanation.

"Well, this is the resonant fre8uency ofthe earth, of our planet& the heartbeat of

>aia if you will. *t has been at seen

point eight cycles per second for thousands

of years but in the last two or three



decades it rose to about twele. * beliee

this increase in fre8uency accounts for the

lack of time you speak about."

"And what do you think it will amount to%""Well, some heretics out there," he pauses

for a short laugh, "including me, beliee

it's connected to the coming new age of

enlightenment, when we become a truly

peaceful planetary society, when we unleash

our true potential. A time of spiritual

adancement and global progress.""Does this new age include free energy and

unlimited resources for technological

research%"

"* think that's the basis of it."

"*n that case, * honestly hope the heretics

are right," rad says, allowing himself to

dream for a second and imagine it.":ou are a great optimist, Anton, *

appreciate that."

"* could do better. :ou know, rad, there

are far better places to be than in your

mind. * mean, being so cerebral is not a

bad thing at all but a lot of interesting

things happen when you start to 8uiet down

the mind and moe into different areas."

":ou mean like meditation%"

"That is one way to do it, yes"

"Guieting down the mind, that's probably

one of the hardest things for me right now.

* $ust cannot rela * mean really rela."

"* understand perfectly, * used to be $ust

like that. :ou should consider the +ilyisolation tank."

"*solation tank% rad asks skeptically.

":es, it was inented by a scientist named

John +ily. :ou float inside it, in salty



water that is maintained at body

temperature, in complete silence and pitch

black darkness, thus eliminating the

eternal stimuli that strain the braincontinuously. A ery large percent of brain

power is used $ust for dealing with graity

and processing the isual signals. The

human brain is staring for constant input

and once you cut the flow of information to

it that is when things start to become

really interesting. +ily, he went prettyfar inside his tanks. And not $ust him,

many people tried it and in the least they

noticed how much more relaed they got out

of the tank and een long time health

issues got remediated."

"Then * must definitely look into that."

"*t's a must) :ou won't regret it. >ates tootherwise non accessible realms wait to be

opened, rad."

"*f you say so, rad smiles.

"* beliee so," Anton strengthens his

argument. "*t's a tough school, this planet

of ours, definitely but * think it's worth

it. * actually think it's a popular

destination for souls in need of progress

and adancement."

"That would account for the 8uick rise in

population oer the last fifty years *

guess," rad speaks with a low oice,

almost afraid of swift retaliation for

unscientific speculation.

"Don't be afraid to guess, especially insuch matters, we're not running an official

science debate here, besides, this is how

many innoations hae come about. >uessing

and speculating," Anton says, recogni7ing



rad<s apprehension to throw himself into

adenturous theories.

"* can't argue with that."

":es, it might account for the sharp risein population. *t might also account for

the fact that great change is due for

humanity. !aybe a lot of souls would like

to hae a front row seat for the coming

show."

"*t's at least fun, speculating in such

matters.""*t is, isn't it%" Anton asks $oyfully.

"And yes * absolutely agree with this

place being a tough school. *t brakes so

many, eery day."

"They will try again and again, until they

graduate."

"Well in that case, * hope my graduationday is close. * sometimes feel so old like

*'e been trying and trying for a long

time, you know%"

":es, * know eactly what you mean. The

fact that we're here, now, probably means

we are still in class learning, preparing

for the final eam."

"And it also means we hae failed it many

times before."

"That could ery well be, yes."

"Talk about bad students, huh%" rad

laments with a touch of disappointment in

his oice.

"Well, * don't know if 'bad' is an accurate

description At least we know we are not8uitters, we're still at it, still trying.

That has to account for something."



"Apparently, that doesn't count so much

when the grades are gien. The simple act

of presence is not enough."

"* don't know what to say" Anton shrugsand a for a few seconds, a deep silence

settles in the room.

"We don't really seem to learn much in a

life time, do we% * mean, we are

practically doing the same mistakes oer

and oer for most of our recorded history.

What does it take, one often wonders.""Well, we must keep in mind the fact that

human beings tend to easily dismiss and

ignore the risks, the dangers that are not

immediate, not imminent. ;specially those

that affect the respectie indiidual

indirectly. !aybe, it's because we hae not

yet come to terms with our mortality. As *said a ery important factor."

":eah *'ll be dead anyway by then, so what

does it matter%" rad says ironically.

";actly, who knows what will happen in a

hundred years from now% +et them deal with

it, they'll figure it out. That's why we're

the only species that destroys its habitat

and prays on its own kind. That's why half

the Ama7on rainforest is now gone and we're

turning the planet into a desert wasteland.

We are knowingly killing the things that

gie us what we need to be alie. * think

that says it all."

"And we do it out of our fear of dying

that's an interesting theory, Anton."";ntertain this thought for a second. We

rarely or neer actually talk about it,

it's considered to be so taboo, that most

people strongly aoid talking on the



sub$ect. -o one wants to die, eeryone is

scared of death, no one wants to

acknowledge it. (elf destruct mechanisms

actiate when the sense of futility andpointlessness reaches the human mind. *t

eplains a ery large part of the erratic

behaior of these domesticated primates we

call humans."

"#ighly plausible, indeed," rad agrees,

"but what if we really make that step you

talk about, what if we really pull throughand change completely% 5an you imagine

then, how we, the people of this age will

be looked back upon%"

"They will hae a shameful past, most

definitely," Anton admits.

"(hameful, to say the least. * do hope they

will $udge us without mercy and label usfor what we truly are. Authority drien,

hierarchy obsessed, mindless saages whom,

when not busy slaughtering each other, we

work on laws and rules that enslae us more

and more We ban nature and commit

unspeakable atrocities, all in search for

endless profit and power, like that een

matters, all the time missing the point. *

often think of a phrase that seems to me to

sum it up perfectlyN 'on these resources

depends our ery surial as a species. We

shall fight for them to the death)'"

"Guite right, unfortunately. 5hances are,

we will be seen as backward, primitie

irresponsible brutes. And yes, most of whatwe do now will be seen as terrible crimes

against humanity, there is no doubt in my

mind whatsoeer about that. ut, as * like

to end my sentences on a positie note, the



man of the hopefully near future will also

acknowledge the present global holocaust,

for lack of a better word to describe it,

as a necessary step in their eolution.""Cntil then," rad adds, "we're stuck in an

upside down world, where cures for diseases

will not be researched unless the profit

margins are off the chart and where the

slaes constantly sabotage the other slaes

in their relentless struggle to become

totally enslaed.""That's one way to put it."

":eah, ending sentences on a positie note

isn't really my thing, is it%"

"* guess not," Anton laughs, "but it's

alright as long as the parity between

people like us stays somewhat e8ual.

alance, you know%""alance or no balance, * still say we are

creatures who neer change. The regimes and

the masters hae not changed in thousands

of years. 0nly their names hae."

"*ndeed, but still, * can't gie up hope,

you know% That's $ust the way * am. Why be

pessimistic when you can be optimistic% Why

be sad when you can be happy%"

"Again, choice or as * like to sometimes

call it, the false impression of free will,

rad says with a serious face."

"Amusing, een when you're not trying to

be, rad," Anton laughs, refilling the

cups, "please, hae some more tea and let

this temporary discouragement dissipate8uickly."

"(orry, * get carried away in hopelessness

some times the stupidity of it all"



"Who doesn't% And you should not worry

about stupidity. 0ne of our greatest minds

said the eolutionary function of this

state, is to force intelligent people tobecome een more intelligent," Anton grins.

"*t's hard when you can't tell which

reality is real, you know what * mean%"

rad asks struggling to get out of the dark

mood.

"#ey, what is reality% * certainly do not

know and nobody knows for sure. The greatBor7ybski said that because we depend

ecessiely on the dictionary meaning of

things we lose track of the real world by

adopting a sort of mirage like erbal

construct. Cntil we are somehow freed from

this illusion, we are all asleep, dreaming

a shared dream. (o what is reality andwhich reality is the real one%"

"Do you think we will eer find out the

answer to these 8uestions%"

"* should hope so) * refuse to beliee all

these efforts are in ain -o, that cannot

be."

"* sometimes think about death with a sort

of strange curiosity, and * imagine how all

the 8uestions get answered then somehow.

*s that sane%"

"* think it's a healthier approach as

opposed to ignoring the sub$ect

completely," Anton assures him. "*t is said

the soul will inhabit the new body when the

fetus is forty fie days old. Thiscorrelates with the deeloping of the

pineal gland which Descartes himself dubbed

the seat of the soul. 0f course, this is an

ongoing philosophical debate, since the



soul is still a religious concept that is

to say, scientifically unproen yet"

"* can definitely sense the scientific

method in the way you formulate sentences,"rad cuts in, "and for that *'m grateful."

"#oweer," Anton continues smiling, "some

women can sense the moment of ensoulment

and they relate it to be around that time

window of forty fie days."

"And do you think that souls are somehow

bound by space and time $ust like us% *mean can they incarnate in different

times, for eample lie a life in the

nineteen hundreds and after that choose a

body in ancient Eome, let's say%"

"Absolutely, * think the spirit world is

completely free of such boundaries. * think

it is a dimension without time or space.And the souls will pick whateer life in

wheneer time there is an opportunity for

adancement, for learning what is needed in

order to grow. :ou can imagine how much

more eperience can be gathered from liing

in completely different times on the

earth."

"That is true, but be that as it may, it

sounds like there's a peculiar feeling of

loneliness in the whole thing."

"* can understand that, but * beliee souls

incarnate in groups, so to facilitate

learning from one another and to be able to

pay your karmic debt through all kinds of

schemes that are set up in adance. 5hancesare that some people you know in this life

might hae been close friends or een

relaties in other lies."



"9unny you should say that * recently met

this woman and it feels like *'e known

her since, well foreer."

"That is eactly what * mean, rad," Antonsmiles, implied.

"*t seems like a nice idea comforting, you

know% 5omforting to beliee death is not

the end."

"(ome also beliee adanced souls can

incarnate in more than one body at the same

time.""Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun," rad

says with a hint of irony.

"Eest assured, rad, sooner or later we

will know the answer to eery 8uestion

we'e eer asked in all of our eistence,"

Anton says ery coninced.

":eah..." comes the soft oice reply,accompanied with slow nods.

"*t's difficult, * know, especially for men

like us. We often get the feeling that deep

inside, we know and we hae known foreer.

We $ust cannot clearly make it out, cannot

see it properly due to this artificially

inflicted myopia of the soul. We fight it

eery day of our lies and still it does

not clear away, like an incessant low

fre8uency noise that you can't pinpoint.

!ost gie in after a while and $ust slowly

carry on with the ritualistic eistence of

the shared dream, only because so many

others do the same unconscious stroll day

after day, for entire life times. Thesearch is ehausting, ery resource hungry

and waking up from the dream that is shared

between the strollers can be a tremendous

shock, only to soon reali7e that somehow,



all you did was to step into another leel

of the same dream. Then you ask yourself,

how many leels of it are there% #ow many

different dreams% Which one is the rightone to be in% The struggle is relentless,

the 8uestions are many and a strong

character is re8uired. And, at the end of

the day satisfaction may not be abundant.

!aybe, the truth and complete understanding

is $ust a micron away from the

possibilities of our mortal, human brain'spower of comprehension. 0r maybe it's a

trillion miles away. * don't know, but can

you really gie up completely% 5an you $ust

stop, hold your breath and $ust disappear%

* for one can't do it and *'m pretty sure

neither can you, rad," Anton ends his

monolog with a smile that shows he knows heis right. rad grins a bit embarrassed,

confirming Anton's confidence. #e feels

sleepy and in between warm, pleasant waes

that enelope his body, he can see iid

colors and geometric patterns as he closes

his eyes. They get stronger and stronger,

clearer and more comple with each blink.

#e tries to fight the powerful assault on

his senses and looks at Anton's face that

seems to change form, distorted, strange

and funny at the same time. #e can feel his

pulse raise sharply, his heart beating like

a drum. An eerie $olt of panic rushes in.

#e tries to push it back, he tries to speak

to Anton but he cannot open his mouth, andthe ibrating waes are becoming so strong

he has to lie down. #e cannot eplain it

and the panic grips him completely. *t

feels like he is in the middle of a cold,



dark ocean, bouncing off huge black waes,

continuously, in a nauseating swing. (weat

starts to drip from his forehead as his

whole body shakes uncontrollably. ;achblink of his eyes transports him from the

stormy ocean water to the room and back

again to the endless pulsating waes of

black li8uid. A terrible sense of

loneliness hits him, dragging him in to the

depths that hold no trace of light. #e

sinks and feels he is suffocating, hecannot breathe, and he falls deeper into

the iciness of the unforgiing mass of

water that is eating him, controlling him,

and consuming his entire being. #e cannot

moe at all and he is completely bound by

the terrible force of the water, enormous

pressure hits his chest. #e lies on hisback, in the room where for short, fleeing

moments he can distinguish a fading

silhouette oer him, patting his head with

long leaes and chanting, singing a

pleasant, comforting song. #e would like to

remain there, with the soothing song but

the water pulls him under, still,

ruthlessly. The pressure crushes his chest,

in a rhythmic pounding that will not stop

for anything and the only thought in his

mind is to get out at any cost. To get out

of this horrible prison, leae this shell&

get as far away as possible from it. #is

body twitches upward, repeatedly, in a

spastic dance. The only way out is up, ifonly he can reach it, if only he can etend

that far aboe him and $ust leae. "*t's

time for you to know," he hears a faint

whisper coming from the badly melted shape



that hoers oer him, "close your eyes

wake up)"



1

*n a split second, the ocean disappears and

he is standing in the middle of a lushforest, under trees that look a thousand

years old. There is no more pain and a

sense of absolute relief fills his being.

#e cannot feel any boundaries to his body

and ineffable freedom and happiness pour

into him from eerywhere. This incredibly

beautiful place feels ery friendly andwelcoming, he gets the impression of

familiarity and cosines, and it feels like

home. #e can make out a distant chant

flowing gently through the crowns of the

ma$estic trees, and the moment he thinks

about the source of it, he is there, in a

moonlit opening, still deep inside theendless forest, facing #er. #e knows

instantly she is the !other (pirit. (he was

waiting for him and he remembers he was

waiting for her, as she gets closer to him,

letting him feel the oerwhelming goodness

and loe she sends forth. #is chest is

getting warmer and warmer as he receies

the transfer from this wonderful being that

glows in the stillness of the night. #e can

see her as a tremendously beautiful young

girl and as a wrinkled old *ndian woman

with long white braids of hair flowing down

her body. The effect of the transfer is so

reiing, so re$uenating, he can feel how

a huge oid is being filled and askshimself how he could hae lied all this

time with this emptiness, this

incompleteness. #is heart eplodes in waes

of bliss as he senses the purity of the



!other (pirit and knows there is no need

for gratitude or compensation& he knows she

does not ask for anything in return for

this wonderful gift for she is loe. #ermagnificent chant is $oined by constant

echoes of distant nighttime birds and

animals that seem to somehow blend with the

song perfectly, contributing loingly and

unconditionally. There is no anger, there

is no hate or eny of $ealousy here& there

is only infinite peace and serenity,perfection infinity. #e remembers the last

time he has been here and remembers why he

left. (he flows close to him and with the

warmest smile he has eer seen, she taps

the middle of his forehead in a rapid

playful gesture, unleashing an oerpowering

amount of feeling and emotion, as countlesslife times play before his eyes, oer and

oer, an unending stream of eents, and he

remembers eery instance, eery hurt and

eery $oy, all the faces and the names he

has eer known and all the people he eer

met throughout the many ages of the world.

;erything becomes crystal clear. The

intensity of the remembrance is crushing

him, he yells and screams as loud as he

can, falling to his knees. "Do not be

afraid," the familiar supportie oice is

heard from aboe the canopy, in the starry

sky, but still he cannot help but shed

boiling tears in a cry that spreads

throughout the entire unierse, a cry ofsoul shattering pain and of incredible

happiness at the same time. 0ut of the

interminable multitude of flashes, he can

see the most important of them and burning



8uestions are finally answered. #e

gradually gains strength to stand up and

immerse himself completely with the scenes

of his past lies, becoming eer strongerand confident. #e feels like he is being

rebuilt from the core, as if missing limbs

and body parts are being reattached in this

harmonious process of absolute

recollection. #e is catapulted back and

forth through time, in different bodies and

settings. #e absorbs the enormous 8uantityof information with more and more ease all

the time eneloped in an incredible sense

of oneness with all the unierses of

eistence. #e feels eerything, he is

eerything, he is part of eerything, he is

the water, the stones and the sand, he is

the forest, the sky and the stars. #e isthe fisherman with the empty nets,

returning home. The trapped miner sending

prayers out to his deity, begging for good

fortune for his family, while breathing in

his last breath of black dust is him, and

the toddler that stands confounded at his

mother's affection for his newborn brother.

#e is the first time mother screaming in

the pains of birth with fear and hope and

faith, he is the old man of the desert with

scorched skin and dry lips pulling the root

out of the freshly dug hole, grinding it

and s8uee7ing the few drops of life giing

moisture. #e is the one being pointed at by

the high priest, moing slowly to the placewhere the gods will be appeased by his

blood. #e is the warrior that swings the

sword& he is the 8ueen that weeps for her

famine stricken people and the $udge that



speaks the sentence. #e is the bread thief

and the aching hermit, the air and the fire

of the world. #e is the water and the earth

of all the worlds of creation. #e is flyingwith the one who loes him towards the

pyramid and the one who stands in front of

it, awed at its greatness. #e is ashamed of

succumbing to the corruption of its tainted

energies.

And out of each and eery life, the same

pattern emerges before him, the same curse,the same terrible loss, oer and oer in a

sickening arrangement. The unierse,

listlessness to all the pleas and prayers

he has eer sent out, each and eery time

has mercilessly taken her away. Away from

his arms, body and soul. *t has taken them

apart, time and time again, with stone coldindifference, and atomic precision. #e

feels once again the unspeakable anguish of

the man who hides her from the plague

doctors and the heart wrenching agony of

the woman who is forced to see her man

stand against the shattered wall of the

warring city. #e can feel the confusion of

the little boy olunteering himself to

build the promised brae new world and the

sorrow in the heart of the old man from the

council and the burning maleolent look of

he, the bringer of death and the destroyer

of life and the betrayer of loe. #e can

feel the horrendous spite and malice in

this dark soul as he disappears from thecollapsing hall. The same malice as he

witnessed millennia later in an office at

the ery top of the concrete 7iggurat made

by man's hands. The maleolence, spite,



along with the senseless hate, the

relentless abuse of man against man and the

unierse, the pererted and distorted ideas

and half truths, ideologies, thecorruption, the greed, the endless greed,

the immorality, the iciousness, the

pointless toils and all the brutal crimes

that were eer perpetrated, the tyranny,

the disease and the famine, the despair and

the hypocrisy, the eny and the pride, the

discord and the lust, the wickedness andsuffering, the agony, the enslaement, the

anguish and the pain of all the horrors of

this world, the madness and the waste, the

$ealousy, the tragedy and the sheer

hopelessness, the shedding of so much

innocent blood, all this and the black,

thick clouds on the sullen sky of the long,long dark night of the soul of man. The

perpetual night that recycles itself into a

neer6ending trail of repetition, ongoing,

since the fall since the collapse, since

the absolute corruption of the heart of

man.

9orcing them all into constantly

sacrificing eerything for the sake of fake

replicas of falsified imitations. #e is

ashamed ashamed of himself and ashamed of

eery one that has eer walked the face of

the earth. 0f his forgetfulness and his

feebleness and all the support he receies

from the !other (pirit is barely enough to

keep his soul from being crushed under thisterrible burden. #istory must not be

repeated. *t must not come to pass, once

again, that man should be blinded from his

true nature and shackled with the heay



chains of misery and ignorance for such

long, bitter ages. #e sees. #e remembers.

#e knows. #e understands, and as he comes

down perfectly entwined with the healingenergies of the !other (pirit he can see

his body from aboe and asks himself how

will he eer be able to fit all that he is

now, his entire enormousness in that small,

limited and aching essel, how can this

feeble shell hold the immensity of his

soul. (light uneasiness encompasses himwhile he feels like being pulled back into

his body, looking back at the beautiful

realm that he leaes now, a realm without

pain or sorrow and of absolute calmness, to

fulfill his earthly mission, to complete

his mortal duties that push heaily on his

karmic wheel of life.



1@

#e wakes up to find himself in the most

pleasant, relaed state, like after aperfectly restful sleep that sheds all the

stress and restores itality and energy to

the body. #e looks around to see he is

alone in the large room, all the snow

reflecting the sunshine inside. #e

remembers the cold and the winter but knows

the sunlight will make a world ofdifference. (till sitting, he stares at the

teacup, lying upside down right beside the

pillows he slept on and after a few moments

of calm pondering, he smiles.

Cnderstanding, thanking Anton and the

wonderful being from his dream or ision

maybe, or hallucination he wonders, unableto decide he gets up and hurries home,

pushed by a thought in the back of his

mind, an urge, a need, guiding him, now

coninced, on the right path.

#e enters his apartment and goes straight

to the wardrobe, opens it and searches for

the coat he was wearing the day -orbert

died and finds the mini6disc he got from

his hands. #e looks at it and remembers

eerything clearly from the accident. #e is

saddened but a feeling of rightness

comforts him, because deep down, he knows

it is all part of a well6prepared plan,

that is oerall more important than any one

indiidual. A well cared for mechanism inwhich eeryone has its part to play. #e

plays the disc into his computer, as a part

of him is worried, awed and curious to

understand more and another part supplying



him with a sense of security and trust in

following the guidance he seems to hae

been receiing all the way, since

eerything started. What he sees on thescreen would hae made him ery nerous and

paranoid before, but not now, not with all

the strength, hope and warm, encouraging

energy he feels all around him. rad's mind

is rushing with thoughts, putting

eerything together, all the pieces of the

pu77le in a calm, lucid manner, while asmall portion of his skeptic character

wonders to what degree he really is in

control of things. *t is all coming to him,

he knows what must be done, and it all

seems natural, it is the way it must be,

but still a part of him in begging for more

proof, is shouting, accusing him ofmadness. #e takes a minute to think some

more with his glance away from the screen

and then calls his best friend. "They

killed him, Tim * was right. * knew it."

"What% rad, is that you% What are you

talking about%" Tim asks bewildered at how

the discussion started.

"They killed him because he was trying to

warn me he figured it out long before we

did. #e was a good man and * won't let his

death be in ain," rad goes on, in a calm

oice.

"rad, slow down a bit you're talking

about -orbert, the *T guy, right% Who

killed him% -o, wait why did they killhim%"

"#e gae his life so * can receie this

information and do something about it."



"What% What information%" Tim still

struggles to understand.

"There's still time, there has to be" rad

continues in the same manner."(top it rad, you're talking cra7y, where

are you% +et's meet, talk it out before you

lose it completely."

"#e was a ery smart man he left me all *

need to get in and stop this. *t's 8uite

brilliant, actually he left an

undetectable backdoor into the securitysystem. * can get in anytime * want."

"(top what%" Tim's shout is followed by

silence. "(top what, rad% Talk to me, are

you still there%"

"* hae to stop !ason * hae to stop him,"

rad says, still with the same low, soft

oice."!ason% * though we agreed to put that all

behind us, start fresh. We don't need him

and stop him from what% Talk to me, rad, *

beg you)" Tim implores for some answers.

"*t's all falling into place, Tim, now *

know *'e seen it"

":ou'e seen what, rad% 5ome on, man,

you're freaking me out, what's got into

you%" Tim blurts out, frustrated.

"*t's alright, you hae nothing to worry

about, old friend," rad comforts him.

"+ike hell * don't)" 5omes the angry reply.

"* will see you soon, Tim you'd better

hae that beer prepared."

"rad, listen to me) (tay away from !ason,keep away from that place, there's nothing

there for you) -o good can come of this,

you hear% =romise me you will stay away)"

Tim urges him, but before he can say



anything else, rad hangs up. #e pockets

the disc and sinks back into the chair,

thinking, planning, preparing, and trying

to understand his fate. >oing oer allpossible scenarios in his mind, repeatedly,

fighting to hold at bay the miture of

feelings and sensations coming from

eerywhere. The image of her face laden on

top of all these thoughts raging through

his head the image of this mysterious

woman that came into his life suddenly,from out of nowhere. #e was epecting her

all his life and did not know it. -ow she

is here, within his reach, ready to build a

life around her, ready to hae a go at

happiness. ut not $ust yet soon) #e tells

himself to gain courage, soon #e waits,

and as the night settles in oer the fro7encity, he sets off into the darkness, with

eagerness, hope and enough confidence to

oercome his fears and to fulfill his

destiny.



1?

#e aoids being seen by anyone and sneaks

until he reaches the back of the laboratorybuilding and climbs oer the wired fence.

With his back to the wall, near the

entrance, he slowly peaks around the corner

to see some men in military uniforms

loading heay e8uipment into trucks. #e

would like to find out eactly whom they

work for but he is unable to see clearlythe insignia on their uniforms. #e hears

them talk about their progress and wonders

if he is too late.

The light on the security keypad turns

green as rad enters the master code and

swiftly creeps inside, his heart racing but

still confident in his actions anddetermined to be successful. >oing down the

two flights of stairs that lead directly to

the entrance to the reactor, he imagines

what he will do if he is too late and finds

the place empty, but a strong feeling of

certainty guides him further. #e remains

calm, all senses actie and heightened

while unlocking the last door that stands

between him and that deice that should

hae reolutioni7ed the entire world, that

should hae changed eerything and makes

his way inside, closing the door behind,

ery slowly so as to aoid any noise. The

hall is empty, eerything inside has been

taken away. Desks, chairs, workstations,his terminal, eerything, gone. #e can see

more men at the opposite end of the hall

and $umps 8uickly for the nearest steel

beam that used to mark the beginning of the



first row of cubicles. #e suddenly feels

like his heartbeat can be heard echoing

throughout the entire place and holds his

breath waiting for the uniformed men toleae, then runs straight to the actie

reactor that stands tall and proud on the

raised platform in the back of the hall. #e

inspects it for a moment and he remembers

all the good times along with all the

frustrations and hope inested in this

pro$ect that promised so much. #isbrainchild, his life's work rad, gripped

by sorrow, hesitates for a few long seconds

but accepts it, as he is aware of the

imperatieness of the situation that has

become impossible to deter or eade. The

reactor's console awaits the final key to

be pressed, actiating the kill code thatwould shut down the machine, bringing

eerything to a halt. rad presses it, and

as the deice re$ects the combination of

digits, he hears a familiar oice from up

the stairs that lead to the second leel of

the hangar. (waggering down, he speaks,

with a oice that does not denote anything

remotely close to discomfort or irritation,

but a ery annoying amusement and

insufferable arrogance, "To be honest, *

was epecting you sooner, my dear mister

Wilson".

"(orry to disappoint you, !ason," rad

replies sharply, but with an eerie calm and

not afraid.":ou are indeed a aluable asset. * greatly

admire your courage, young man. And yes, *

would ery much like you to become my

protLgLe. There are many things we need to



do, much to discoer and obtain. :ou knew

of course, or at least suspected * was

aware of the master code that allowed you

in and gae you access to the reactorotherwise * must say it would be a bit of a

letdown on your part."

"+ike * said, sorry to disappoint," rad

says with a dry oice.

"* disabled it for the reactor, of course,"

!ason goes on. "-o point in letting that

nice silicate culture die not after somuch effort. Those fine little crystals

with their neatly arranged atoms. A marel

of nature, actually. * hae much respect

for it," he says while looking toward the

machine.

":es respect." rad adds ironically.

"* mean, for all we know, they might eenbe alie. A completely new form of life,

possibly, and to think you almost killed

it makes one wonder."

"*f it's alie, then *'m sure it would

prefer death rather than be used and

eploited by the likes of you."

":ou don't know that maybe it's the other

way around, why not%"

"Why don't you stop pretending to be all

knowing and caring, when you're nothing but

a sorry misanthrope who hates himself the

most%"

"#ate% -o, no * do not hate, my dear

mister Wilson. * manage * plan. With the

future well being of eeryone in mind, ourwonderful little planet, included. esides,

hate is like swallowing poison and waiting

for the other one to die isn't that

right%"



"What eer you want to say, $ust say it and

let's get this oer with)" rad raises his

oice, showing impatience and boredom at

!ason's speech."* am sorry you are not willing to talk

this through. *t is ery easy for me to

hae you arrested for trespassing priate

property to start with. ut * would much

rather not resort to such things."

"*'m not afraid of that. * am not afraid of

you or anybody for that matter," rad sayswith a strong, confident oice, the

boldness of it disturbing !ason isibly.

"And if you think * will help your plans in

any way, then you are wasting your time."

!ason laughs, "but my dear mister Wilson,

you hae helped our plans all along, and

still are. Just to show you my gratitude,please, why don't we go for some drinks and

settle the matter like grown, honorable

men%" he says, gesturing towards the eit.

"Thank you for the offer but *'ll pass."

"9ine, we can talk right here, then. -o

problem at all. We are men of character,

mister Wilson. That is what will always set

us apart from the rest."

"* see you still think ery highly of

yourself honorable of character * say

you are no more honorable than a schoolyard

bully. A child with more power than he can

handle, getting his kicks from collapsing

sand castles and superising the

construction of others. While absolutelyconinced it is the right thing to do and

no one else can do it better. Well, mister

5ustos, * hae news for you) There are many

who can do it much better than you and who



will do it much better than you will. There

are people who will take responsibility and

grab the wheel of their lies to stir away

from your bumpy roads filled withtollbooths. :es) !any of them, whether you

like it or not. *t's time to face it, you

hae lost. :ou and your gang of bitter old

men," rad says while strolling around the

reactor.

"That is strange last time * checked,

things were 8uite different. And * checkoften."

":ou know," rad continues, "the more you

speak, the more * know you're hopelessly

insane and you need to be stopped."

"=erhaps, mister Wilson but een so, *

assure you, if * eer get stopped, it will

not be by you and under no circumstancestoday," !ason says ery serious and lights

a cigar. ":ou don't mind if * smoke, do

you%" he asks, after already puffing from

it, nerously.

rad circles the machine once more, without

taking notice of !ason's words, calmly,

8uietly considering alternaties.

":ou seem to take pride in your

accomplishment. That is a good thing. We

must indulge ourseles from time to time,

in the so called sins, wouldn't you agree%"

he asks, on a more cautious tone.

":eah" rad replies, absent.

After a minute of silence, the older man

asks impatiently, "(o let's narrow it downa bit, shall we% * really do hae other

matters to attend. +et me tell you what is

going to happen net. y now, you hae

figured it out, that the kill code is of no



use to you at all. (o, at the moment,

you're struggling with yourself, fighting,

searching for alternaties to that last,

dreaded etreme, but neertheless,effectie resort," he speaks with a

complete certitude in his full control oer

the situation while leaning on one of the

steel support beams. ut that's not the

only option we can still hae that drink,

and arrange a partnership oer some fine

scotch my treat, of course."As !ason speaks in his usual condescending

tone, rad is in front of the reactor's

console, typing, his face epressionless

and cold, knowing indeed, the options he

heard are the only ones at his disposal.

"Actiating the self destruct se8uence

right%" #e asks, keeping an apparentcalmness in his oice.

rad is one press of a button away from

confirming it, when he asks with genuine

curiosity, "* was the only one who was

supposed to know about this fail6safe *

guess your reach was deeper than *

estimated. 0ne 8uestion though if you knew

all along, why didn't you hae it remoed

from the programming% Why take the risk%"

"Why not make it interesting while we're at

it%"

"(o this is entertainment to you

ecitement.

"We hae to get our kicks from somewhere,

don't we, my dear mister Wilson. *t is notunlike a good chess game, damn shame we

neer got around to play some not on a

traditional board, anyway.



"What makes you so sure * won't do it% rad

asks.

"Allow me to shed some light on the matter.

:ou are a worthy opponent and you hae myrespect for that. #oweer, as any good

chess player knows, one step ahead is not

enough. The more moes you can plan ahead,

the more chances you hae to win. :ou see,

mister Wilson, what * like more than an

interesting situation is a very interesting

situation. (aying this, he signals with hisleft hand for the door at the top of the

stairs, that opens swiftly and two armed

guards come through holding her by the arms

tied behind her back. (he is scared and

crying and shiering in the cold, damp air

of the hall. The sight of her makes rad

take his hands away from the consolekeyboard as he assaults himself with

thoughts of staggering disappointment and

sheer helplessness. #e takes a step back

and cries out her name.

"Are you 0B%" #e shouts reaching out to

her, in ain, for the distance between them

might as well be infinite. (he nods to him

in between the sobbing and the sighs. (till

leaning against the steel beam, !ason

continues with delight, "you must be

thinking, how come * didn't see this

coming% Do not torture yourself with such

thoughts, mister Wilson, they are of no use

now. Where were we ah, yes * was

eplaining why you won't bring your littlescheme to fruition. * can almost hear the

synapses of your brain, firing like mad in

a minute lightning storm, analy7ing,

8uerying millions of bits of data,



searching, computing, but alas a ery

peculiar, oerwhelming cocktail of

chemicals cloud your $udgment like

incessant January clouds oer (cotland. Themammalian brain with its animal instincts

is not that complicated once you break it

down and understand. Eight about now, the

strongest urge you feel is the preseration

instinct, which $ust doubled once you hae

seen her. Tripled, een. ecause that

peculiar ineorable cocktail of chemicalsflooding your system tells you she is the

perfect woman, the most beautiful, uni8ue

and irreplaceable, and without her, the

world for you ends in misery and

uselessness. :es, loe. That wonderful,

uplifting feeling that leads people to acts

of incredible foolishness. 5an bring largeamount of so6called happiness but can

swiftly bring about one's demise. (ome

mammals would defend their mates to the

death. ;specially those with this

disadantage.

-ow, if you beliee in a deterministic

unierse, then, you can say that eerything

we eer did in our lies, you, me, her,

these men working here, has lead us here to

this place, on this eact point in time.

>ranted, we are not sure about the

original, first cause that started

eerything, but a deterministic unierse

does imply among other things that there is

a reason to it all purpose. The resultingimplosion would not affect the city but

surely, that reason cannot be so morbid as

to inole the death of us all. Doesn't

make any sense, does it%"



!ason gestures to the guards that untie her

hands and she runs down to rad, $umping in

his arms, kissing each other desperately,

and shedding heay tears of sorrow. Theylock in a powerful embrace that seems

impossible to break.

"(uch futile passion a waste of energy,"

!ason comments, genuinely pitying them. "*

truly am saddened."

The words of the old man fall on deaf ears,

like a rain drop in the ocean, unable tomake the slightest difference. They are

alone in the unierse, welded together in a

union of foreer where there is no time and

no end, and only nothingness surrounds them

in a deafening silence. ;erything is

perfect stillness, the whole world holding

its breath. The planet free7es, stopsturning, its pulse fading away. They stare

into each others' eyes and see deep through

to the soul like peering into a sunlit,

crystal clear lake, with no ripples on its

surface and they know each other

completely, in perfect communion. There is

no need for words or sounds, gestures or

moement. (he smiles at him, teardrops

falling away from her gentle face like

dancing rain. They separate for a split

second and she actiates the countdown

while rad throws a 8uick uninterested look

at !ason, who drops his cigar and runs,

followed by the two guards. They embrace

again and he whispers to her, "* will seeyou soon," and holds her tight in a grip of

pure loe for the last seconds that are

worth more to them than their entire

lifetime.



42

"We can't find any bodies, it's like they

were apori7ed or something," Tim hearssome uniformed men talking and stands

shaking, fro7en, looking at the scarce mass

of debris scattered on the place where the

laboratory was, still unable to comprehend

and accept, asking in whispers, 'why%'

#e looks up to the sky to see it clearing

after a long time, the black clouds makingroom for a weak but welcomed sun that warms

his hands, promising it did not forget.

+ooking towards it, his eyes hurt but a

sudden reassuring feeling of well6being

coer him, and he smiles, faintly,

gratefully.



43

"*t is so good to be at home again," they

think to each other, basking in the muchneeded, nurturing, refreshing energy on

their way to the holographic screen,

flooded with images of countless future

lies. #e picks first, and slowly becomes

one with the image he has chosen, flowing

towards it. +ooking back at his other half,

he hears her say, 'look for me' and keepssliding gently until he is there, hoering

oer the stopped bus and moes through it.

The noise of the world and the thoughts of

the seated people come to him in a rush as

he settles in this new body of flesh that

welcomes him to form a perfect alliance and

start anew. Along with the myriad offeelings from his mother, he can feel the

9orgetfulness taking grip $ust as it has

for so many times before. The warmth and

comfort of this new, soft home feels like

the safest place in the unierse to be and

falls asleep, caressed by the words of a

distant song that fades away, 'for the

times they are a-changin...'

T#; ;-D



Documents

The Jester's Dance - Andrei Munteanu