Part One This old, really­old man had that homeless look in his eyes, not a look of despair, but of carefree. Like a man without a home, but ‘home wherever he was’ kind a thing. Curious, I watched him meander into the building shaking hands with our Greeter. This wanderer seemed to stare into his eyes as if looking for a lost friend then quickly turned away as if not finding what he was looking for. Wearing terribly tattered clothes gave this man an even more homeless look, but something about him didn't seem to fit and I couldn't put my finger on it. Looking around, he was determining his next direction. At that moment, the worship band began to play and the wanderer nodded his head as if that was the direction he was needing. Giving quick glances into the eyes of a few more strangers, the wanderer continued towards the sanctuary entrance where I was standing. As he neared, he noticed that I was watching him. He stared into my eyes, searching. His eyes had a clearness, a spark, a thing you’d expect to see in the eyes of a child, a genius, or the insane. I asked, "Hey there, how are you? Do you need anything?" The wanderer’s eyes then lit up as if he hadn't seen me in years and cheerfully said, “I’ve been looking for... well... you.” Perplexed, I replied, “ME? What can I do for you?” The old wanderer now with sparkling eyes, leaned towards me for effect not for privacy, and said, "You know you are missed? Your presence is required back in the kingdom and it’s time you return." I immediately thought, “What am I? Peter Pan?” He smelled like trees, and wildflowers...

Immediately following the thought, “This guy might be a whacko,” my heart rang out these words from scripture. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.” So, I listened. What harm can the words of a little old man do to me? The wanderer reached for my hand as to shake it, instead, he just held it and began to pray, “My dearest Father, and Master of the Universe, such as unto these you deposit your kingdom, awaken his heart to the eternal and to the voice within him.” He prayed as if his words were being whispered directly into the ear of God, not like I do, having to reach into the universe to hopefully be heard by the One so far away. His tone then changed from soft to a bit declarative, “Before the worlds were formed, and before man entered this vibration of Word’s creation, I formed you, gave you commands, deeds to perform, words to utter, to have life and love and adventure far beyond your wildest dreams. Come back. Now is the time. Walk again with the King.” My heart began to remember the early days when I first knew Him and when I was full of faith and voice and the King’s command. The comparison made me almost want to run in condemnation but instead I drank from its encouragement. Now, nothing else mattered but the next words this man was to speak. I was now leaning in, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then turned to leave the building. I cried out, “Where and when?!” He turned his head, smiled and whispered, “I’ll find you,” and walked away.

Monday morning arrives and I'm already busy with thoughts for the day, “Who was that guy? ­ I’ve got to get my car inspected sometime today How can he possibly find me? ­ What time was I supposed to meet the electrician? He was just a crazy old man. Right? I don’t have time for this today. What if that guy really was some sort of messenger? ­ Ok, enough foolishness.” Dressed, coffeed up, emails checked, off to my first appointment. In the car though, I found myself looking up and down the street wondering if I’d find... You know what? I never even got his name. After all my day of running around, the last of my tasks was to swing by Walmart for a few items the family needed for dinner. As I walked up to the store entrance, there, on a blue bench next to the door, was the wanderer patiently sitting like he was waiting for a bus or something. He was staring right at me with that look like I was expected for an appointment. I didn't even bother to ask him how he knew or how this all happened. I just sat down next to him without a word and listened. He placed his hand on my back and began to speak, but something happened to me as he spoke. I could not make out what he was saying, it was as if I was in a trance and the words could not get through. This sorcerers words swirled around my head and entered my ears, some were loud, some soft, some almost as whispers or half words. I felt a bit dizzy and seemed like I couldn't move. All the while he just kept on talking. It seemed like 15 or 20 minutes passed as he talked, never pausing or asking me questions, this was a good thing as I wouldn't have been able to reply. Then, his monolog was suddenly over, he got up said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood up and walked away. I had no reply, I was still a bit dizzy from the wanderer’s words. My memory of much of the rest of the evening was all a bit foggy. I was anxious to get to bed and sleep it off.

The second I hit the pillow, I was out and the moment I was out, the dream began. I stood on a grassy hillside and the old man walked towards me, I could tell he was the same person, but he looked so much more alive and filled with life and radiance. He was so oddly joyful­content and yet serious or more like determined or purposed than anyone I had ever met. He came up along side, put his arm around me, and we began to walk. I knew this was a dream, yet I also knew it was not like any dream I ever had before, I was and it was, more alive than the “real world”. Colors were more colorful and words more meaningful. This man started with… “I know you didn’t understand my words when we spoke on the bench, so I am here to talk directly to your heart. Here, I can tell you things your mind won’t let you hear.” I had to first visit you in your wake world so that you would know these talks were real and not a figment of your own dreamings. What I spoke to you yesterday were words you heard before the creation of time, but they needed to be re­spoken to awaken you. Much of your world is asleep to these things but a few of you are about to wake up. The words I give you will cause your entire world and life to change... You will be rejected and dismissed, you will be hated and despised, those who you have worked so hard to gain respect will look down on you and some even in your own family will hate you. You will be the most satisfied and the most uncomfortable at the very same time. You will know the truth and will be freer than you ever knew was possible; but, it will come at a price one you have already promised to pay and one you and your Father have agreed upon before the days of broken song.”

The wanderer continued with Words like I have never heard, they didn't just speak to my ears but vibrated the very core of my meaning and purpose. The words were cleaning and empowering me to be able to hear them. Words not like my words, but living and powerful and able to make in me, able. Already many of my ideas and ideals were dying horrible deaths but their screams were muted by the joy I felt as my heart was being freed. In my dream, He began to prophesy... “I know you, I have called you says the Master of The Universe. You have been called to be set apart to be one who carries things not held by books nor in buildings neither by men of reputation. You. Are. Mine.” For you to know the life you are called, you must forsake all. Forget all you have learned and lean completely on my daily living words. Remember the commands, let them be written on your heart, be restored this day to the High Calling that is found in the Christ. To BE Holy as I am HOLY, to be PERFECT as I am Perfect, to know the will of God and the Voice of God to such a degree that He is your exhale and You are His inhale. Take no thought for your life and your tomorrows, make The Kingdom your hope and your reward. Your life is now hidden and all who see you are to hear and see only Me.” Something inside me was vibrating like a tremor or a quaking, made me feel like it might take over if it grew and this concerned me. Knowing my heart’s fear, the wanderer answered it, “This filling you are receiving is the life of God ,and if you will let it, it will take over it is your purpose and your calling as it is for all His children to be consumed with His presence and power. In the past, you have had opportunity to follow this river and move in the flow of God but, chose carnality, tradition, or worldliness so the fire was quenched. Do not let this one go out.

“I have something else to tell you before you wake.” My heart began to weep with a great travail even before he began. The man who was a wanderer, now Prophet changed his appearance and became a radiant white light. A holiness beamed from him so I could hardly stand, and his brightness became so I could not look into his face. His voice changed and became like a voice as close as my own and yet far away like from the other side of time and space. I had to bow down, face toward the ground, I was suddenly weeping uncontrollably and afraid for my life. The voice was thunderous and filled with glory. “Many are called but few escape the darkness… You are one who saw but have been made blind by your comforts and the doctrines of dark systems. You ignored the cost of being a disciple and chose the path to corporate success in a system I promised I would never build. My Grace, you squandered. It was a gift for you to find your way home, but instead you tried to reform it into a cloak to protect you from my judgements. The times of waiting are now passed and the prophets will begin to call for an awakening, the world and those who call themselves the church are so far removed from my plans it will be very hard for you to be heard, but my calling for you has not changed, you must never judge my calling by your audiences’ hearing or by their acceptance of you. You compromised my message and then lost your way. You must come back and you must only speak what I tell you to speak. I am commanding you to seek my face and make it your life's purpose to hear, ‘Well done good and faithful.’ There is still a kingdom to be had and only by denying yourself and the world will you find it. Now Pastor, wake up, your flock needs to hear from you…”

My heart has now became a wanderer, going about the chores and affairs of my life. From an outside observer, unless you looked directly into my gaze, you wouldn't notice who I’ve become. Now, I am a man listening to a distant voice and living for a distant home. It was morning of the first day and I heard in my head the word repeatedly, “un•ten•a•ble, un•ten•a•ble, untenable…” I decided I should not ignore the word but rather to look it up and see what it meant and read if it was an actual word. Looking it up, I saw it had two meanings the first meaning didn't click anything, but the second meaning, I knew was to be my focus for the day. un•ten•a•ble not fit to be occupied or lived in. This day, I woke feeling like I have not felt in many, many years. Cleansed by the life of God, forgiven and yet sorrowful both at the same time. Undone and more able than I ever remember. This crisis of life and death is where we are supposed to live, forgiven and yet repentant, weak and strong, life and death. I don’t ever want to forget again. Lord, help us remember. The voice and residual of God was still with me and I was determined to not lose Him. I felt impressed to get cleaned up and dressed in my best suit but to not deliver my prepared sermon intended for the people today. Instead, when I stand behind the pulpit, tell them the truth, as truth is now my reward. Arriving at the church, I saw the building for the first time not as “a Haven for Salvation”, as we promoted it to be, but a cage for the disconnected, the unencountered, unrepentant masses and I began to weep inside as I felt I was somewhat responsible for their condition. Forty­five minutes later, I stood looking across the bow of the pulpit about to deliver words never heard from this place. I somewhat scanned the crowd of about 800 hoping to see my wandering prophet in the crowd. I began, “Something has happened, a very good thing and if you will be patient with me I will tell you the story… I watched a movie on cable a few weeks ago… One fairly popular and many of you have probably seen. In this romantic comedy, adventure, action film, I found myself thoroughly entertained. As I am quite a movie buff, the actors were all top notch and the story was a part two in a sequel.

Caught and mesmerized for two hours laughing right where I should, surprised right when I should, participating without hesitation in their comedic revenge, tantalizing sexual innuendos and not giving a second thought when people were killed or used the Lord’s name in vain nor did I make any notice or I just completely ignored the adultery, fornications, and temptuos skin revealed they all so skillfully reenacted for our souls participation. All of these things for some time have made way into my life. For some time, I have not had the fullness of God, His voice nor His power evident in my life. Even though I am measured among the most zealous and pursuing of truth of all my peers, I am untenable.” un•ten•a•ble not fit to be occupied or lived in. God’s requirement has always been conditional upon our separation from the world, our sanctification through prayer, a holy life and thinking, ‘Be holy as I am Holy’. For only in a heart who seeks completely to love and serve Him, do we find Him. I have become the dwelling of wickedness. What I do know and live by, and the truths I do hold and obey, I do without His dwelling. I have become as balaam's donkey preaching repentance, and the echo of God's divine purpose and timings, but without the soul of a son. There is a kingdom and a Gospel that my Master preached and lived that I now hardly see preached nor lived. We have become so alive to the world and dead to the real power and kingdom via death and self denial it’s as if we have all become the walking dead. Zombies for Jesus. I know some of you would say, ‘Speak for yourself Pastor! I am serving God and don’t cheat on my wife and go to church three times a week.’ I know, and for many of you, it’s not your fault. You have never had an example of the truth walked out as it should be and we as ‘Leaders’ in the church have neither entered in nor have we allowed the few of you who would question the systems we have built do so either. I am sorry and grieved at our condition but I believe it’s not too late.”

“All of you who can hear my words. Know this. There is still time but the time is short. Your life is but a vapor and you must find your way back before the opportunity closes. There is not an endless chance and there is a day of reckoning for us all. The glorious gospel and promises are so wonderful, the reward so great, but so is the fall. There is a day called, ‘today’ as the writings of the Hebrew declared and today is not forever. I know these sayings may sound hard, but they are words of truth and grace, and only sound hard because all you have heard until this day have been words of comfort and ease, words that encourage you to be comforted and safe, words that lull us into inactivity that deny the cross, fastings, prayer and the life required to apprehend Him and our salvation. I am sorry I lied to you, I am sorry I told you, ‘All you have to do is receive the Christ in your heart’. I never told you the truth because I myself was not walking in it and I knew if I told you, you would run to another place that told you everything was ok. My evil heart judged your heart as evil and I never even gave you the chance to repent, to know Him fully. Here is a short list of the things our King requires and is almost never pursued: Be Holy as I am Holy, Hate Sin, Pray always Cast down EVERY vain thought and imagination that is contrary to God. Have no bitterness or unforgiveness for ANYONE­ever Listen not nor be entertained by the world and its temptations Allow not a single sin within your heart or mind that you do not reveal and repent of Be always filled with the presence of God, Know His voice in all things Pursue real fellowship not organized meetings Feed the poor, visit the widows and orphans Grow up in all things spiritual Learn the scriptures not doctrine These are the requirements to being a disciple, these are not suggestions. Our Master taught us that all who do evil will not be saved from the final judgement and it’s His grace that empowers us to live a life of freedom and salvation. He made it possible, He made it easy if you will lean fully on Him. and He made it a requirement.” The repercussions of these words, I will tell you later… First the story of the next day.

Shaking off the events of yesterday, I had to test this life and know He would confirm His words to those who would give themselves to faith completely. Beginning with an hour praying stirring myself up by praying in the spirit and worshiping the King, His presence was so real and I almost forgot what it was to be full. I asked Him, “Where would you have me go Lord?” His immediate reply was, “Go to the bus station”. I decided I would begin following the leading of the Lord and never question Him or doubt when I was sure it was His voice. So off on my adventure I went……………………... Want to be notified about new chapters? Signup Here. http://billebert.com/disciple