Russell Vega Chapter.2. Scene.2

Survive The TeamPass His ClassesGet A JobGet The Girl

… That’s All

Pat Dean’s Lines Are In Green

Shaun Reinert’s Lines Are In Orange… Or Is It Red??I’m Not Sure.

I’d Like To Thanks Today’s Guest Stars Who Will Be Playing Russell Vega’s Coach!! Introducing Pat Dean And Shaun Reinert!

Chapter 2

• Scene 2

“Hi, do you coach wrestling?” “Yes and I am a coach.”

I coach wrestling!

Hi, I'm Russell Vega. I'm in kind of a rut hereYou see, I've been majoring in phys ed for the last four years.

THAT'S A LONG TIME!!

Well, yes Sir. I'm a senior here. I'm really low on credit and I have to join the wrestling team if I want to graduate on time. Long story short, I'm not a wrestler. But I was wondering if I can join the team and work out with you guys for some credit.

You think so?

Well those thighs tell a different tale.

Hell, I'm not even an athlete.

I KNOW so. How much can you bench press?

Uh, how much does the bar weigh…?...

How much can you thigh press?

Um... I'm not sure. How is that done?

Well Sir, I'm here to learn!

I lay on your thighs.And you lift me with them.That’s a thigh pressLook, if you're going to be a wrestler you're going to have to know these things, ok?

Oh, I'll LEARN you~ I'll learn you something fierce!

Like that six pack stuff?

No, that doesn't matter in wrestling. It’s all about the thighs. Take off your pants. They belong to me now.

Um... we're not in the locker room. And I have to go to class after this.

Why are your pants still on?!

Because we just met!!

The only "class" I'm worried about is a class action lawsuit. I'm your coach. So you have to listen to me:

Do you know where I can get some blow?!

That depends. By "blow" do you mean "weed"?

No dummy, cocaine. I'm a wrestling coach and I love cocaine. Forget all that stuff I said about your pants, I'm trying to get drugs.

You know that you're saying that out loud, right?And these wrestlers are still working out!

Well how else am I supposed to get drugs, use sign language????? Nah they're cool!!!!!

They know?

Listen: I need drugs! The only way you can get on the team is if you get them to me!

Al right, I can do it. You sure I can't just give you a reference though?

A drug reference?

Get em, boys!!Um ... ... uh oh

Get the f\drugs Give me the drugs. Then you're on the team!

AL RIGHT!! AL RIGHT!! AL RIGHT!! AL RIGHT!!

I just thought that since you use them, you'd know where to get them.

No; I get them from wrestlers!!Then why are you asking me to do it?

BECAUSE YOU'RE A WRESTLER NOW. I want drugs, my life is empty. I'm a wrestling coach. Things haven't worked out

You'd be surprised at what pot and rock and roll can cure….

I don't like Rock'n'Roll, I'm a smooth jazz guy.

Fair enough.

...We test for pot here, son..!!..

Oh... when's the next test?

Well, those guys over there are practicing fire man carries..!!..

So you'll test me the next time there's a fire?

Can I get some of your weed? My wife is really been on my ass lately!

Should you be saying that out loud, Sir?Also, how do you know I have any?

Was that out loud? Little tip, this here ain't coffee.

Good. Coffee gives you bad breath.

You could try to climb that rope, it's supposed to be a life long motivator to achieve your goals through hard work, but the quacks in the P.T.A. are banning it soon.

Whoa... The rope. That looks challenging.

It's a pain in the ass, only the best athletes can climb it….

Only the best, Sir?Who here do you think can do it?

Correct, think you got what it takes?

Well, I could give it a try.

Look at all these athletes. Do you think any of them CAN’T climb a damn rope, YOU MORON?

I just grab onto it and hold onto it with my feet?

Hand over hand, all the way up.

Because I think I can climb it using my hands and feet.

Well, no time like the present, you should take off that book bag first, that'll just weigh you down…

Honestly, I'm glad that the book bag is what you think stands out about me.

Al right, I'll be right back…

You can start whenever you're ready, I'm gonnafreshen up this....um....coffer –Coffee…

Al right, I've been training my whole life for this moment.

By the way, we believe in hazing here.

That explains a lot.

OK ladies, shower up! And give your jocks to Jerry Garcia here.

So, this is day one.

First day, yagotta wash those.

Doesn't next period start in 40 minutes?

Really? This coffee makes time go slow.

So if I wash these, do I get to work out with your team for some credit?

If you last a week...then you're in. Its going to be a tough week. We start early, before school and we stay late!!

Al right. That's a deal! I can last more than a week! All I'm going to need is a hall pass... and a bottle of detergent!

I want to be able to drink out of those when you're doneHey man, I gotta go... my wife is calling me from the next room.

HALL

PASS

Once Again, Thanks To Pat Dean And Shaun Reinert.

• Pat Dean Would Like To Plug lanekrarup.com