8/3/2019 ol_page_66_67

1/1

28 November 2011 OUTLOOK67

HAPPINESS EDITION

K

HAREED Khan, a

leading shopper ofIndia who spends at least

a couple of hours every

day in shopping malls,

claims that happiness

could indeed be bought

with money. However, he

clarifies that happiness is

the byproduct and not

the product that should

be bought. Just go and

buy any damn thing that

interests or excites you,

and you would be happy,

Khareed Khan says.

Shopping brings you

happiness. Its a

therapeutic experience.

You cant buy happiness,

but buying can bring

happiness!

CAPTAINS of industry

may be crying hoarse

but a survey done by

Faking News has

revealed that among all

the businessmen in India,

those who owned petrol

pumps were the ones

with the highest level of

happiness. Except for

minor corrections, ourhappiness has witnessed

a continuous rise for over

two years now, they say.

AFTER having observed increased

levels of happiness and satisfaction

among the employees in the past

few weeks, the HR team of Pheasant

Technologies Limited (PT) met yester-

day to discuss innovative ways of reduc-

ing employee pleasure to bring it down

to acceptable levels.

We had received specific information

from our sources that employees were

seen generally happy and jovial in the

past few weeks. Overall business and

economy is already in bad shape, and no

important announcement or managerial

decisions were taken recently, said Hari

Sadu, HR head of PT, wondering what

could have added to the overall well-

being of the employees.

After having personally witnessed the

increased happiness among the employ-

ees yesterday, when he saw a group of

low-paid trainees laughing and cracking

jokes during the lunch break, a puzzled

and concerned Hari Sadu called for an

emergency meeting today morning.

We should know whats going on

inside our company, Sadu justified his

decision. We cant allow employees to

bring outside happiness inside the office

premises till we know that this is not

against companys policies. Its our duty

to keep these things in control.

AS news of a liquidity

crunch in King-

fisher Airlines

spread like wildfire, many

industry watchers became

nervous: would this kill

the happiness of Vijay

Mallya, the flamboyant

chairman of the company?

However, the experts

were relieved to learn that

Dr Mallya was pretty

happy and enjoying his

grand life, despite the

apparent problems plagu-

ing his airlines business.

I am happy and cur-

rently busy with finalis-

ing the interior decora-

tion of my penthouse at

Millionaires Paradise (an

apartment building only

for millionaires), a press

statement issued by the

office of Vijay Mallya

read. The press release

further clarified that the

lifestyle of Dr Mallya had

not taken any hit.

Monday, 28 November 2011

HR meet on degrowing

employee happiness

Vijay Mallya assuresindustry that he ishappy and high

Digvijay Singh

There is no RSShand behind

happiness.

L.K. Advani

Happiness cameonly after westarted feeling good.

Money cant buyhappiness, but

buying can

bring happiness

Laloo Yadav watchesvideos of good old

days to feel good

Happier peoplespend more. Are they

fuelling inflation?

No Spain, no gain:ZNMD sparks

tomato surge

Harbhajan told toadd another H to

name to change luck

Politics Economy Movies Astrology

IMPORTANT: This is a satirical happiness issue by Faking News (www.fakingnews.com) for Outlook, which cannot guarantee that all readers will find these news reports funny

INSIDE

CITY

Children propose no

homework week to

celebrate happiness. P3

EDITORIALThinker-activist

blames middle class

for being happy for no

justifiable reason. P5

EDUCATION

Dare to think beyond

happiness: educationist

exhorts people. P8

MISCELLANY

Dog ate my happiness,

forever-morose man

complains. P12

Petrol pumpowners are

happiest

traders: poll

happiness special

Tihar jail announceshappy hours

TIHAR Prisons, which houses manyVIPs accused of crime and

corruption, has decided to celebrate happy hours for three

hours each day to cheer up those who have been refused bail by

courts. Inmates will get free pizzas and will be allowed to talk to

their relatives during these happy hours.

Happy girl told to feel bad

by well-wishers

SUKANYA, a happy working woman in her 30s, has been told

by well-wishers to feel bad about at least a few things in her

life. You are still single and are not even willing to talk about

marriage, said Sheila aunty, trying to convince Sukanya that astellar academic record, a good circle of friends, and shining

corporate career were not enough. Get settled, she said.