TX Citizen 4.23.15

VOLUME FOURI S S U E 1 704 .23 .15

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Waylon's ThirdThrowdown!

Around and About, Page 4

Waylon's ThirdThrowdown!

Around and About, Page 4

THE RESULTS ARE IN!PAGE 14

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table of contents

11 The County ’sMost Wanted

Look Daddy!Mommy’s in the paper!

SportsBrant Freeman Joins

the TXC Staf f

8CitizenSoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

12

3 1st WordDissension in 4-B? Nope. Bidness as usual.

4Around & AboutWaylon's Throwdown!

5Unfair Pie ChartWhile checking into Jay Hix Jones'lies about New Braunfels, we discovered something worth noting.

15

Best of theWurst, 2015

RESULTS!

7Feature StoryStones Exhibit Rolls into Town

Last WordHillary.

14

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends intwo languages.

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Props for Mr CochranAs y’all know, we finally got all those 4-B and Chamber of Commerce contracts that our rabid-for-info readers put up the cash for back in February. It’s not just a Trapper-Keeper full o’ paperwork, it’s thousands of pages that somebody has to dig through in order to bring forth the sweet statistical goodness that lay within. That somebody is Chase Cochran.

For the record, while this column is technically written by me, Mike Reynolds, much of the heavy lifting associated with putting these things together is often borne by one of my business partners in this endeavor, The Chase. I don’t go through thousands of pages of anything, attend Council meetings or keep an eye on the banal daily doings of other local media. Any one of those tasks would make me bug-nutty. Chase is way younger than I am, and doesn’t yet appreciate the damage all that exposure to government/media nonsense is doing to his general health.

So please keep in mind, especially over the next few months as we dig deep into the 4-B and Chamber of Commerce contracts, that somebody had to sit at a desk and pore through the stuff. And tonight, to paraphrase a one Mr Bono of the U2 band, thank God it’s Chase, instead of you.

Jim Poage: From Hero to Zero in Fifteen MinutesLast week, 4-B Board member Jim Poage had us thinking that perhaps things were changing over at 4-B. He was the lone vote against the Board’s approval of $3.2 million for a pool and a gym at the new recreation center. It wasn’t his vote against the project that got our attention, it was his stated reason for the dissent, as published in the April 15 edition of the HZ. Check this out:

“My concerns are that there appear to be a bunch of numbers that maybe some of us have seen, but a lot of us haven’t seen with regards to cracking up revenue, (revenue)-

neutral and cost-benefit analysis and so forth… I’m not saying they aren’t there, but we’re talking about millions of dollars here and a pretty good chunk of our reserves without data

that exists... somewhere to kind of talk about the revenue.”

WHAT? This is unusual coming from a 4-B guy. So we checked into Jim Poage a wee bit more and found out some stuff that we would have been much happier not knowing. All the air went out of the newsroom when we discovered that it’s business as usual at 4-B. It was all weeping, gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments up in here.

We’ve been harping on 4-B for a good long while about their corporate welfare program, and their tight-fistedness when it comes to projects that benefit the community in general. This was a perfect move for 4-B – hand over a heapin’ he’pin’ of cash for a City recreation center, and get the heat they’ve been taking over the last couple years turned down a few notches. But then Poage had to speak up. Man, sometimes we just get lucky.

While Poage’s reason reinforces our own complaints about 4-B’s recklessness with public funds, there might be more to his motivation than meets the eye. Poage isn’t just a member of 4-B, he’s the former CEO of StarTech, a San Antonio-based, taxpayer funded foundation specializing in the redistribution of, well, taxpayer funds from public coffers to private hands, much like 4-B.

StarTech went under in 2013. We’ll dig into that meaty goodness next week, and drop something on you none of us saw coming - and that 4-B figured we wouldn’t notice. #barnburner

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

Chase Cochran contributed to this story, and should be named as a co-defendant in any litigation pending as a result of its publication.

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that time of year when I get my a�ual cri ling sunburn and swear to myself, "Never again wi� I leave my house in the daytime." If you have not yet made that decision, f�l fr� to leave your house a li�le early and enjoy our extended w�kend hours. Enjoy the sunshine from our front yard begi�ing at n�n on Saturday, and brunch starting at 10am on Sunday. I've discovered a more e�ective treatment for sunburns than aloe vera; it's ca�ed wine. The stu� works wonders, te� you what. - Josh McFarling

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AROUND& ABOUTThe third annual throwdown to bene�t Waylon Gruene Malone went off last weekend out at the River Road Icehouse. Between all the live music, the auction, the BBQ and the bounce house, close to $15,000 was raised to help Waylon beat neuroblastoma! We're all pulling for ya buddy! #conquerthedragon


71

54

Is there data you’d like to see unfairly graphed?Send your suggestions to [email protected].

Reality television producer (Hoarders, 1,000 Ways to Die), evangelical Christian, and noted make-stuff-up-to-terrify-people-and-promote-his-project enthusiast Jay Hix Jones is coming to New Braunfels this Memorial Day weekend, high-pro�le media preachers in tow, to save our fair city from itself. Hix Jones has publicly stated that rapes increase “ten-fold” during the weekend in question, and while we’re still compiling the stats provided to us by the NBPD, we found a couple courtesy of TXDPS that were downright shocking, and that might cause Jay to rethink the target of his production. According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, there were more sexual assaults in Texas churches than rivers and lakes in 2013 (the most recent year data are available for):

Total Sexual Assault Pool for these Locations: 125Granted, that ratio probably changes signi�cantly in favor of the churches if sexual assaults against minors are removed from the calculations.

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Who is your all-time favorite University of Texas Longhorn football player?

What is your favorite Rolling Stones song?I’m quite sure more people can answer the

second question. This is why the Comal chapter of the UT alumni organization, TexasExes, is hoping to raise funds for their scholarship program by utilizing the Rolling Stones.

On Saturday, May 2, Comal TexasExes will hold a photo exhibit downtown at the Seekatz Opera House during Wine and Saengerfest. The exhibit features photos by Oscar Decker, who had unheard of backstage access during the Stones’ tours from 1994-2005.

A fresh resident to New Braunfels, Decker had spent 50 years playing music and being part of the music scene in Austin, where he made numerous industry contacts. One of those gave Decker the chance to go backstage to a Stones concert at the Cotton Bowl. There, he met Chuch Magee, who served as the band’s backline manager. The two became close friends, and Decker was able to travel with the band and take photos of the massive operations that are involved in a Rolling Stones production.

For those who don’t know, the backline is, simply, an area behind the stage where all of the equipment and instruments are.

Because his work differs from the standard fare, two of Decker’s photographs of the backline are part of the Stones exhibit at the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. Certainly there are photos of the band, but there are also photos of the backline. Musicians and gearheads will drool at the vast array of vintage equipment and instruments. For those who are not, the exhibit offers a chance to see the complexity involved in putting on a big concert.

“Being on the level that the Stones are at, there is always a test of one’s nerves because everything is on a tight schedule, and everything has to be in the right place at the right time,” Decker said. “I don’t think I have ever seen a better organized system than the Rolling Stones.” Decker said that a Rolling Stones’ production requires a crew of 200 and anywhere between 70-125 semi trucks. This is partly because the band travels with two stage sets so that while they are playing in one city, the set is being put together in the next stop.

“What makes the collection interesting is because they allowed me behind the scenes

as well as in front,” he said. “The exhibit will be a blend of both of those perspectives. You will get to see what’s behind the scenes, which most people never get to see. You get to see all of the amazing vintage equipment, and all of the nuts and bolts that go into each show.”

How the band acquires much of its phenomenal vintage equipment resembles a swap meet.

“Wherever the Rolling Stones are playing, people will come out of the woodwork with equipment to the venues,” the photographer said. “They bring guitars and small amplifiers, and we would take them into a special room called the tuning room. The band would come in and pick up the instruments and try them out. If they liked the guitars, they would hand us some cash, which we would take to the guys sitting outside the gates. These guys would bring the cream of the crop, old Gibsons, Fenders, Martins.”

Ben Campos, president of the Comal branch of TexasExes, hopes that Decker’s exhibit will bring in a new and diverse crowd.

“Because our football culture is so strong at the University, we’ve leaned too

heavily on that,” Campos, a former UT football player said.

“Chapters will get former coaches or former players to speak to their groups to raise funds. But, I think, people are tired of that. The University of Texas is so much more than a football program and I think what Oscar’s exhibit demonstrates is part of that diversity. How many people attending the Wine and Saengerfest are going to care about UT football? But how many of that crowd has heard of the Rolling Stones?”

This is fourth time Decker has donated his work to raise funds for charitable causes since moving to New Braunfels. The photographer is a 1974 graduate of the University.

“We’re getting a lot of people from Austin relocating here and Oscar is a good a good example,” Campos said. “He had just moved here and wanted to get involved in the community. I think that’s how we’re going to grow our organization because it isn’t coming from recent graduates.”

The exhibit will run from noon-6 p.m. All of the proceeds from the exhibit will benefit will go to the scholarship fund. Visitors will be asked to make a donation at the door.

Stones, baby.Stones, baby.

By Nick RogersBy Nick Rogers

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MOST WANTED

$300REWARD

COMAL COUNTY ’S

MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale • 5’07” • 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions

GONZALEZ-MATA,SERGIO MMale • 5’08” • 160 lbs

DOB: 07/30/1983

CHARGE: Tamper/

fabricate physical

evidence CT II

HERNANDEZ,RUBEN JRMale • 5’09” • 189 lbsDOB: 05/05/1969CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for theft property over $1500 under $20k

LAW,JARED SETHMale • 6’04” • 180 lbsDOB: 05/04/1986CHARGE: Motion to proceed with adjudication for unauthorized use of vehicle

ANTONINO, FRANK JOSEPH JRMale • 6’01” • 185 lbsDOB: 01/01/1957CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

NORRIS, OTIS NELSON

Male • 5’11” • 160 lbsDOB: 12/25/1968

CHARGE: Motion to proceed with

adjudication for aggravated assault

w/deadly weapon

PALMER,JEREMY T

Male • 5’10” • 195 lbsDOB: 12/02/1976

CHARGE: Violations of conditions of bond for

driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

WATSON, RICHARD WAYNE

Male • 5’10” • 170 lbsDOB: 01/18/1978

CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for

assault causing bodily injury family violence

WHITE,GLYN DANIEL

Male • 6’06” • 214 lbsDOB: 10/09/1968

CHARGE: Tamper/ fabricate physical

evidence CT I and CT II

PITTMAN,ALFRED

Male • 5’10” • 182 lbs

DOB: 08/18/1984

CHARGE: Assault

family member

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, April 20, 2015 at 8:54 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff ’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

COREY,KITTY MARIEFemale • 5’06” • 150 lbsDOB: 01/21/1982CHARGE: Motion to proceed with adjudication for possession of controlled substance pg1 under 1g

ARRESTED

ARRESTED

Freemanon SportsFreemanon Sports WITH BRANT FREEMANWITH BRANT FREEMAN

Here Come the Spurs AgainBefore I get into the meat of this column, I suppose I should make with the introductions first: I’ve been working in sports media in radio and television for the past 12 years, and I’ve just recently gotten my feet wet in writing about sports. I’ve lived in this general area of Texas all my life, growing up in Boerne, getting my college degree at Texas State University and living in New Braunfels for nearly 10 years now. (As I’m writing this, this feels more and more like a first date conversation about sports, and if my past history with first dates is any indication, I might get to write one more column, not have the editor return my calls a week later and beat myself up over the next 3 weeks wondering WHERE THINGS WENT WRONG.)

But the date has started, and I can’t stop now. So how did I get interested in sports? Well, actually I was TERRIFIED of sports up until the age of 12. Growing up with a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan for a father, I associated sports with yelling, so sports = fear. It wasn’t until the Spring of 1993 that I started to develop my own interest in sports. One day my dad, who in addition to his profane-laced tirades at the TV, was also in the trading card business, brought home a box of Fleer Ultra ’93 basketball cards and asked for my help in opening the packs and sorting out the cards. While we did this, he turned on the TV and the San Antonio Spurs were playing the Portland Trailblazers in the first round of the playoffs. The Spurs won that game in overtime, and I’ve been hooked ever since. From there, I started watching everything. NFL, MLB, of the course the NBA, and even the NHL (as long as it didn’t interfere with reruns of “Charles In Charge”).

My first love then, as you can imagine, was/is the Spurs. It was 14 years after my following/fandom of them started that I started to actually cover and report on the team. I’ve had the pleasure of covering one of the great franchises in pro sports during one of the great runs in modern NBA history.

This post-season marks my 9th as a credentialed member of the press, and it’s a unique year for the reigning NBA Champs. The Spurs are attempting to repeat as champions for the first time ever, doing so with a virtually identical roster from the year before, in what has been an up-and-down season. Starting 16-6, stumbling through an injury-riddled December (going 8-10), recording their worst W/L record EVER on the Rodeo Road Trip (4-5), to surging down the stretch with a 21-4 mark over the final 25 games, again putting the league on notice they weren’t going away.

However, that tremendous 25-game finish to the regular season was virtually all-for-naught. Because San Antonio lost its final game of the season to New Orleans (my god Anthony Davis is terrific, and he’s in the freaking division), all that 21-4 finish meant was moving from 7th to 6th in the brutal Western Conference. They needed to go 22-3, which would have meant the #2 seed, with a potential path to the NBA Finals being Dallas, Houston and Golden State (with home court in the first two series). Instead, it’s Los Angeles, Houston (likely… sorry Mavs fans) and Golden State (without home court in any series).

The Spurs have had really difficult first round opponents before (Phoenix in 2008, Memphis in 2011, Dallas last year, two good Nuggets teams in ’05 & ’07), but this Clipper team might be the toughest. As of this writing, the Spurs trail their 1st round best-of-7 series vs the LA Clippers 1-0 after Los Angeles won the series opener fairly handily 107-92 on Sunday night. The series is FAR from over, but if the Spurs are going to win it, it’s going to be taxing. Playing this series alone might keep the Spurs from going deep into the playoffs. The path of least resistance is always the way to go, it helped Miami make 3 straight Finals, having to only navigate through a watered down East.

11:00 already? Well, I guess we’re at the doorstep now. I had a good time… call you soon?


By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexican men have thicker hair than Caucasian men? Because I’ve seen more Mexican men with thicker hair and a lot more of it than Caucasian men. Why? Is it because it runs in the genes? (I am only asking about hair on the head not body hair).

Frankie

Dear Gabacho: It’s ALWAYS about the genes for Mexicans, whether it’s our love of tortillas and tamales (indigenous ancestors), beer (Germans), or frizzy hair (the negritos in our family tree that no one ever acknowledges even though your brother was born with a Jheri curl that made Lionel Richie’s mane seem as florid as a high and tight).

The same influence applies male-pattern baldness. Scientific consensus that Native Americans are the least-affected ethnic group on Earth when it comes to being pelones is so prevalent that you can find it repeated without citing any study in multiple medical dictionaries. The Mexican couldn’t find any study specifically focusing on Mexicans, but don’t forget that a bunch of us have sangre india in our veins.

As for those of us who are getting calvos? As a sweatshirt that my mami once bought at the swap meet and used to wear before realizing what it meant said, I don’t have a bald spot: it’s a solar panel for a sex machine!

Dear Mexican: I’m from a Hispanic heritage, and long bloodline of Hispanics who came to this continent in the 1600s. Having researched my roots, I discovered that the Spaniards are of Germanic roots, and the migration to the Americas and interbreeding soon created the mestizo, with other bloodlines and heritages.

The generalization of terms used to describe a Hispanic were, for centuries, labeled as “white,” and to make my point clearer, there was no such race as

brown. In all of the documents that our forefathers filled out, there were lists of the races, which included white, red, black, yellow, or red. There was never an option for brown.

Then the question of nationality came: listed as Anglo, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Mexican-American, African-American, Oriental, Pacific Islander, or other. This is where my soapbox becomes a podium.

Mexicans are white. You hear on all the polls on TV that the whites voted this way, and the Hispanics voted that way! I cannot stand to hear that all the people in attendance at a particular school were 20 percent white, and 60 percent Hispanic! They are all the same people! Hispanics are white! There is the bigger issue that I touched base on earlier in this story: that point is that Anglo and Hispanics are in the same race. It’s their nationality that makes them two separate entities.

Thank you for listening, and hopefully some clarity will come of the misnomer that Hispanics are a separate race than the Anglo, when we were both white all along!

Manito Manuel

Dear Wab: Repeat after me: Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Now, go repeat that to all your Hispano friends in New Mexico who insist their ancestors never got it on with a mestizo, and tell them que se vayan a la chingada with their claims of pure bloodlines—or, better yet, go hang with Hitler.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected],

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him

on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

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On H.R. ClintonAfter my break last week, I’m ready to go back to politics, and Hillary Clinton has offered an opening just too good to pass up. Actually, she hasn’t, but the latest scandal has, and I thought I should get at least a few licks in before her whole campaign implodes. I’d never forgive myself if the unthinkable should happen and things went so badly that the Clintons were forced to pack up and head off into obscurity and I never took the opportunity to give them a good kick in the pants before they go.

First let me point out that Hillary Clinton presents a problem from a writing perspective. The last time she was included in a column, I spent the entire piece trying not to refer to her as Hillary. I don’t think using her first name is appropriate; she is after all an accomplished politician and presidential candidate. I don’t call President Obama “Barack” and I don’t call Elizabeth Warren “Elizabeth.” Unfortunately the dynastic element of our politics is conspiring to make things unclear. Not only is Hillary Clinton a problem, but so are Rand Paul and Jeb Bush. For this column, I plan to move forward using “Bill” and “Hillary.” (Clinton supporters are encouraged to offer alternative suggestions in the comments section of the online edition; I’ll take them under advisement.)

Is anyone else disturbed by the idea that Hillary and her supporters are promoting that it’s time for a woman President? I know that Hillary’s old, but I’m no spring chicken myself, and I was raised to not judge people based on their genitals. Carly Fiorina has pointed out that traveling is not an accomplishment. Let me add that having a vagina isn’t an accomplishment either.

Gender is not something I look for in a candidate (somehow that just sounds wrong, but it’s true). I can think of plenty of reasons not to vote for Hillary; the fact that she’s a woman isn’t one of them. And, if I hear one more of her supporters suggest she’s ok because she’s “post menopause,” I’ll throw up.

Another thing that bothers me about Hillary’s campaign is that she, and/or her handlers, don’t seem to recognize the irony in her suggestion that she’s a champion for the “little guy.” Hillary Clinton has Secret Service

protection 24 hours a day, she receives $200,000 a pop for speeches, she was married to the President of the United States and was a U.S. Senator and Secretary of State, her family has a foundation that takes multimillion dollar donations from foreign governments; Hillary wouldn’t know a “little guy” if “Scooby” ran one over in the Chipotle’s parking lot. Please spare me and the rest of the country this hypocritical attempt at rebranding. I’d be happy if you can convince me you won’t sell the Lincoln bedroom for campaign contributions like Bill did.

And while we’re on the topic of Bill, how is it that he’s even still alive? Do you mean to tell me that Hillary could find some way to get past the Secret Service and off him in the last 15 years? I can’t imagine that Hillary believes it will be possible to get through the entire campaign without a trademarked Bill Clinton bimbo eruption. (I suspect it will be a small group of attractive and just slightly under aged campaign workers at an after-hours pizza party, with the pictures sold to TMZ.) Even assuming Bill can manage to keep his pants on for the next year and a half or so, I’d be nervous that he would engaging in some passive-aggressive attempt to torpedo Hillary at the last moment.

Perhaps they’ve already considered this. I haven’t seen Bill for a while. Maybe he’s tied up in a closet in Chappaqua.

These are just the snarky reasons why Hillary’s a bad candidate. There are several things that Hillary will simply have to face unless the media as a whole decides to forsake doing their jobs to a greater extent than they have during the entire Obama administration.

Hillary still hasn’t offered anything substantial as an answer for Benghazi. I actually suspect that there is a reasonable explanation for the dissembling on Benghazi and that it has something to do with the CIA annex being so close to all the action, but Hillary’s State Department handled the whole thing ham-handedly. What there probably isn’t a good explanation for is why Hillary and the rest of her team simply ignored the danger to Ambassador Stevens and our facilities in Libya.

I also suspect that Hillary’s push for U.S. involvement in Libya’s overthrow of Gaddaffi

will come up. Libya is currently spiraling out of control, and when everything shakes out, I fully expect Libya to a terrorist state. Hillary could suggest that most of the Middle East is headed in that direction, but I think Libya is going to end up being laid at Hillary’s feet.

Just as troubling is an entire book being released detailing Clinton corruption. As I alluded to before the book indicates that many large donations were made to the Clinton Foundation while Hillary was Secretary of State. Many of these donors had beneficial dealings with the U.S. government. So far Hillary’s campaign has dismissed the allegations as simple partisan mudslinging and said that they have been “unprecedentedly transparent.” That these allegations come from a partisan source is unquestionable, but that doesn’t really mean they’re untrue. As for transparency, that’s a word that Hillary’s campaign should be very careful about bandying around.

After all, we still haven’t received any sort of acceptable explanation for Hillary’s State Department emails. She has said that she released everything that was related to the business of government, but that will be hard to verify since she erased the emails from a server she controls. I don’t think that even Hillary’s supporters believe that all the emails erased were personal business related to her daughter’s wedding and yoga lessons. Equally suspicious is that Hillary kept her own server for emails in the first place, and that she’s fighting to keep anyone from trying to retrieve what she erased from it. I wonder how the story will change when someone gets a subpoena, and we find out that the server was stolen, then run through a degausser, before finally being melted down and shipped to China.

One thing nice I can say about Hillary is that she’s never boring. I expect this election season to be very interesting indeed. Between the Republican field bludgeoning one another mercilessly and Hillary trying to avoid felony charges and keep Bill in line, I expect to have plenty to write about. I expect 2016 to be a very exciting election season.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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TX Citizen 4.23.15