HackingEQHackingEQ
Hacking EQPractical Emotional Intelligence
AirBnB Jan 2017
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
How Are You?
(c) Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - used with permission
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
A Model of How Things Get Done
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
Humans Are…
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How Things Actually Get Done
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IQ is An Entry Requirement Only
“It’s not that IQ and technical skills are irrelevant. They do matter, but mainly as “threshold capabilities”; that is, they are the entry-level requirements…”
Daniel Goleman HBR 2004 (repeated more recently in a Google talk)
© Joe Dunn 2016 All Rights Reserved
Emotional Intelligence Definition
Self Self Awareness Self Management
Others Social Awareness Relationship Management
"the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions”
Salovey & Mayer 1990
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
Imagine/Remember an Interaction
➡ Feedback? Code review? Performance discussion? Product direction?
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Mood?
(c) Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - used with permission
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
How Are You? Emotion
enraged
(c) Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - used with permission
angry
peeved
despairing
disheartened
bored
pleasant
enthusiastic
ecstatic
at ease
restful
comfy
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
What Would Happen If…
(c) Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - used with permission
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
Stimulus, Pattern Recognition, Reaction
!➡ Threat!➡ Home➡ Friend➡ Opportunity
➡ Heart Rate➡ Blood Pressure➡ Skin Temp➡ Adrenaline➡ Tension➡ Thoughts➡ Mood= Emotion
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
A Legacy System
➡ THREAT!
➡ Adrenalin➡ Heart rate up➡ Blood pressure
up➡ Move, move!
!
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
How We “Hack” Our EQ
➡ attention
<name>
➡ naming ➡ response
➡ continual practice of response leads to reprogramming
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
What Are Your Thoughts?➡ He/she is fully
wrong➡ I am right!➡ We always mess
this up➡ He/she will quit➡ He/she will hate me➡ I am a bad person➡ I will lose my job➡ I will get found out
➡ What Is True?
➡ What Is the %age Truth?
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
Thought Balancing
Thought % True Label Balance (What is True?)
I am right! 80% Black and white I am right about X, maybe not Y
This project is a failure
70% Black and white Some stuff worked, some didn’t
He/she will quit 10% Awful forecasting
I don’t know. Seems very unlikely.
He/she is an X 35% Labelling See them as an individual
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
The Body
➡ Sensations?➡ Location?
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Self-Awareness
Emotions
Thoughts Body
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An Interaction
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A Conversation Model
Information
Opinion
Emotion
8
2
2
2
8
9
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An Interaction
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Listening : A Hack
➡ Intention?
<I’m right!>
➡ Label it ➡ Change it
➡ Listen so the other person is heard
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An Interaction
© Joe Dunn 2017 All Rights Reserved HackingEQ
Practice = Brain Programming“Whatever one frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of the mind”
Buddha“What we practice, we will become”
Jack Kornfield
“Neurons that fire together, wire together”Donald Hebb