Healthy Relationships & RBA

Wife Daughter Sister Aunt Friend Coach Teacher Church member Chef

Babysitter Therapist Nurse Accountant Granddaughter Daughter-in-law Chaperone Almost mother Sister-in-law

Mrs. Lamoreaux’s Roles

Role: a part you play in your relationship

Relationship: the bond or connection you have with other people◦ Acquaintances◦ Friends◦ Family

Roles Within Relationships

Marshmallow Tower Activity

Person #1 is the ONLY person who may talk, but cannot touch anything!!

Person #2 CANNOT talk. He/she may only use ONE hand and can only touch marshmallows

Person #3 CANNOT talk. He/she may only use ONE hand and can only touch toothpicks

Marshmallow Towers

Communication◦ We will discuss all

about this next class

Cooperation◦ Working together for

the good of all

Compromise◦ Problem solving

method in which each participant gives up something to reach a solution that satisfies everyone

◦ “Cheaper by the Dozen”

3 C’s of relationships

Respect for Self◦ When you respect

yourself you are more likely to seek relationships where others will treat you with respect.

*BIG CONCEPT!!

Respect for others◦ Listen◦ Considerate others

feelings◦ Mutual trust: being

dependable◦ Realistic in

expectations: cant always be top priority

Respect: willingness to show appreciation and consideration

Bullying:◦ Deliberately harming

or threatening others who cannot easily defend themselves.

Hazing:◦ Making others

perform certain tasks to join a group.

Disrespectful Behaviors

Prejudice: unfair opinion or judgment of a particular group of people.

Stereotype: exaggerated or oversimplified belief about people who belong to a certain group.

TOLERANCE: the ability to accept others differences.

Review 6 Pillars of Character

Trustworthiness:◦ Do what you say you

will do Responsibility:

◦ borrow something, it breaks, you replace it.

Fairness:◦ take turns, share

Caring:◦ Show sympathy

and/or empathy Citizenship:

◦ Be a good neighbor, help by shoveling walks, etc.

Respect:◦ Listen when

someone is talking

Character within Relationships

1. Make a list of the most important people in your lives.

2. Write down ways to show these people that you care about them.

3. Write a list of things that you do that might make these people feel like you don’t care about them.

Relationships

A way to gage the strength or weakness of your relationship.

Much like a real checking/saving account at a bank.◦ As you make “DEPOSITS” the relationship

strengthens.◦ When you make “WITHDRAWALS” the relationship

weakens

The Relationship Bank Account

We have a different “bank account” with everyone we know.◦ These relationships can be in the ‘positive’ or the

‘negative’

It requires conscious deposits in order to maintain the relationship

The Relationship Bank Account

Deposits tend to evaporate or be forgotten about.

Where withdrawals turn to stone (not forgotten…harder to forget)

Too many withdrawals requires even more deposits to bring the account back into the positive.

We must continually make deposits if we want our RBA to stay positive.

Unlike a Real Bank Account

Breaking promises Gossiping about

others Not listening Being arrogant Losing trust Not fulfilling

expectations

Asking for a curfew extension

Borrowing the car…again

Waiting to be told to do something

RBA Withdrawals

Understand the individual

Small courtesies and kindness

Keep our commitments

Clarify Expectations

Show Personal Integrity

Use the most important words

The 6 RBA Deposit Areas:

Recognize what is important to that person and take interest in it

Ex: Sam discusses the stock market with his dad who is a stock-broker

Understand the individual:Show INTEREST

These are often underrated, but kind notes, winks, hugs, etc quickly add up in the RBA.

These small acts demonstrate appreciation

Small courtesies and kindness:Small CHANGE

Doing WHAT we say we will WHEN we say we will

Promising to be somewhere & not showing up = withdrawal

Keep our commitments:Good CREDIT

Critically important in avoiding contention, misunderstandings, & hurt feelings

Don’t read minds or expect others to read yours.

Ex: Moms idea of a clean room might be different than yours.

Clarify Expectations: CHECK

Demonstrate character in all your actions & relationships

Be trustworthy & honest. Don’t gossip

Show Personal Integrity: GOLD

Small, but important words make all the difference in a relationship.

Ex: Please… Thank you… I love you… I’m sorry… How can I help…?

Use the most important words: CASH