Communication Strategies for Successful Leaders

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Communication Strategies for Successful Leaders

Prepared by: Deborah Deras, M.S., C.R.C.

Prepared for: NLBWA-SD



Successful Leaders Master EI



Four Stages of Consciousness, Dr. Michael Beckwith


Leaders are Self Aware

W hy A m I T alking






What are the benefits of NVC •  Improve cooperation by listening so others are really heard

and speak so others can really hear you •  Transform conflict into jointly arrived at solutions rather than

compromise •  Prevent future pain and misunderstanding •  Receive someone's anger without taking it personally •  Transform your anger before it leads to behavior you'll

regret •  Live your life by choice rather than by should and guilt •  Care for your own needs with compassion


Non Violent Communication 1. OBSERVATION: Objectively describing what is going on without using evaluation, moralistic judgment, interpretation or diagnosis. 2. FEELING: Saying how you feel (emotions and body sensations) about what you have observed without assigning blame. 3. NEEDS: The basic human needs that are or not being met and are the source of feelings. 4. REQUEST: We are responsible to ask for what we want. State a Clear request for actions that can meet our needs.


What Would Make Your Life More Wonderful Right NOW..

1.  Sweater 2.  Water 3.  Snack 4.  Bathroom We can start with acknowledging and honoring our needs so that we can be compassionate to other peoples needs.


NVC IN ACTION VICTIM: I got an email complaining to me about you cancelling our workshop at the last minute. (assigning blame with no suggested resolution)

EMPOWERED: I felt disappointed when you cancelled my workshop 12 hours before the event because I value my reputation and my need for being in integrity was compromised. In the future, can you commit to giving me and participants at least a week notice?


NVC CREATES FREEDOM Aggressive: When you demand something from someone. They get defensive.

Passive Aggressive: Take something away as a form of punishment.

Freeze: Do nothing. Shut down.

Freedom: Take responsibility and make a request to have your needs met and are FREE.


How to Develop Our Need Literacy 1) When we judge ourselves what do we say? Ex: What a dumb thing to do? (What sEmulated that). What is the need behind that? I need to be valued. Note: All judgments are from unmet needs.

2) When I judge others what do I say? They are ignoring me. What need is not being met? I have a need to be heard. 3) What do people say that we answer defensively or aggressively? What people have said to us or that we are scared they might say? People closest to us MIRROR our own internal dialogue.


What are your needs? What are your needs as a servant leader on this particular board? Write as many as you can. 3 minutes, ready go….


What did someone do that annoyed you?

1. Write down one thing the person does that you don’t like.

Before NVC: _______________________________

After NVC: _____________________________


When People Are Upset

• What are you needing?

• What are you requesting from me in this moment?


Tragic Communication

• Anytime we imply wrongness in someone else.

• We decrease getting what we want. • We increase the tendency for violence. • See handout to convert feeling to a need.


NVC Communication

We are empowered when we: -Take responsibility for communicating our needs. -Speak from the heart honestly. -Make a request for an unmet need. -Listen and speak empathetically.


RESOURCES Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Confessions of an Adrenaline Addict – Odunton & Deras

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Graves

Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

Life Visioning Dr. Michael Beckwith

Free Resourcea on NVC www.DeborahDeras.com/Calendar


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Leadership & Management

Communication Strategies for Successful Leaders