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8/2/2019 d SMS Guyd 2 d Wk Dat Wz
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d SMS guyd 2 d wk dat wz
twas a hectic wk n both Parliament n outa it. Manmohan Singh wz glum. Yuvi wz on a roll. d
opositN wz rolling its sleeves 4 a mjr fyt wen sudenly d hous wz shut dwn sine di. ll d axn
shifted las stock n smokn barrel 2 d crckt field. Mirpur, Motera, Mohali. ll attn shifted. frm a
scam n8tN we bcAm a slam n8tN. We slammed d Aussies. We now wanna slam d Paks. thN
we wanna go2the finlZ n ko whoever remains. Sharad Pawar cn turn NEfin N2 d hottst biz n
twn. includN a gentleman's gme. ders mor betting on n crckt thN on d stock mkt deez days
n orse racing S 4t ovr 90s. India S d ultim8 la-la l&. n mor senses thN u cn imajn. nvr hs it
bn proved mor thN now.
Adarsh HS scandal S aliv bt Ashok Chavan hs vanished N2 d woodwork lEvN sum retired
army generals 2 face d flak. Hasan Ali S cooling hs heels n d slammer. d Shungloo rprt hs
sudenly turnD d focus on d Delhi CM n d LG 4t CWC scam. evr sinC Batcha got murderDNo1s tlkN 2G or 17,000 crore of vanished csh. (:+( shitless I gueS. Nira Radia hs vanished
frm d headlines. Nstead a moV on her hs jst Rleased n shes seeking a ban on it. d csh 4
votes scam S d Bgst tlkN point among d chattering classes. WE hapnd 2 Suresh Kalmadi u
myt ask? bt No1s answerin. n d guy struts arnd lk evr hapnd. So dz Satish Sharma wen
NE1 asks him bout d bribes paid 2 MPs 2 gt their votes b4 d vital confiDnce cll n
Parliament.
bt twas nt jst bout scams n crckt, d nation's 2 Bgst obsessions. w@ old mn Marx
(remember him?) myt av wel cllD d nation's 2 hottst opiates apart frm Bollywood, wich
came a poor 3rd lst wk W FICCI Frames turnN ot 2B jst nothA phus event. No, nt evn d Ra 1
promo didnt hlp. f Bollywood S 2 surviv, it nEdz 2 86 scale n rediscover its gr8 soul. d
KJoisation of d med hs prety mch iced it. It nEdz 2 fnd Itslf a nu idiom, an onesty dat hs
ecsaped it 4 so lng, n an obcshn 4 XLenS, nt jst instnt csh. Junk f%d S ot. Junk Mvies wl sn
B. Its ritN on d wall. d audience keeps sAyn it evry dy. bt No1s ReD 2 read their lips. csh
blinds u 2 reality, wis, cr8tive integrity. watz tru 4 politix S tru 4 crckt n Mvies as wel. ll we
nd S d introspection 2 figa it ot.
bt thN, dis col aint bout introspection. Its bout lang. d OED hs bn Xtremely knd 2 ll of us n
dis gNR8N of celfne users. So d nu lang of r tyms hs bn sanctified n mnE nu wrds av gaineda nu legitimacy. As idd hs dis gNR8N of ours, ht, yung, hip n hep. So f u cant figa ot dis col,
dont wori. chuk aside yr Miriam Webster n Chambers dxNre. Buy yrslf d nu OED or, btr stil,
hire a PYT 2 teach u d lang of r tym. Dont wori, ders nt a sngl slang ot hre. evry wrd S :-$$
$, legit, Vmuch a part of today's lang AWS n wrt it. stil nt convincd? Ask Ny youngster 2
read it ot 4 u. YNK it cUd chng yr lyf n bild bridges w/yr kdz n their gNR8N. Or btr stil, it
may persuade u 2rite an Ntire novl n dis lang 1 dy, Charles Dickens.
wl dis nu lang surviv? n01 nos 4 sure, lEst of ll me. 1 therry S dat 1s d smartphone tAkz ovr
qwerty keyboards wl taK us b2 lang as it 1s wz. bt W d OED constantly endorsing nu wrds,
nothA skool Blevz dat changes n lang cn nvr B reversed. dis wl stay. Im takN no sides. jst
tryiN 2 tlk2U ina lang dat millions of yung ppl n India n ll d ovr d wrld tlk n 2day. f u gt it, its
8/2/2019 d SMS Guyd 2 d Wk Dat Wz
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QL. f u dont, its equally QL. It realy doesnt m@r ina wrld whr A1 wa 2 comnC8 aint thru
lang bt thru