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BetterFearless Feedback for
Software Teams
@eacarlson
Hello!• Hi! I’m Erika.
• (I’m @eacarlson, too.)
• I’m a software developer.
• I work at Detroit Labs in Detroit, Michigan.
• I train and coach software developers.
Introduction• What is feedback?
• Why is feedback important to teams?
• Why do teams struggle with giving and receiving feedback?
• How do we get better at feedback?
• How do I know?@eacarlson
What is Feedback?
• A response to a person’s behavior and/or performance, shared with the person for the purposes of:
• Increasing his/her awareness
• Shaping his/her behavior
@eacarlson
Types of Feedback• Affirmative
• Reinforce behavior & increase the likelihood that it will be continued/repeated
• Constructive
• Re-shape behavior or deter it from being continued/repeated
• Passive
• Devalue or condone behavior through inaction@eacarlson
Why Does it Matter?• Feedback is one of the best tools we have for
improving individual and team performance
• Feedback improves communication, builds trust, and helps teammates to collaborate more effectively, speeding problem-solving
• Feedback helps teams to solve problems early, addressing issues before they become toxic
@eacarlson
Why Is it Difficult?• Teams struggle with feedback because people
struggle with feedback
• Giving and receiving feedback are both complex skills
• Most people haven’t had the opportunity or resources to develop good feedback skills
• Giving and receiving feedback effectively requires openness, maturity, self-awareness, courage, vulnerability, confidence, and trust
@eacarlson
Managing Fear• Fears represent opportunities for growth
• Fears are real, but they are not an irrevocable part of who we are
• When you’re feeling anxiety about giving or receiving feedback, ask yourself the following questions:
• What am I afraid of?
• What’s the underlying fear?
• What steps could I take to overcome this fear?
• What could I gain by moving beyond this fear?
@eacarlson
Feedback 101• Be specific, thoughtful, and direct
• Structure: Situation, Behavior, Impact
• In (SITUATION), when you did (BEHAVIOR), the outcome was (IMPACT).
• Example (Affirmative): “On today’s phone call, when you praised our demo, the team was inspired and motivated to repeat that success.”
• Example (Constructive): “In yesterday’s client meeting, when you interrupted and talked over me, I felt frustrated and hurt.”
@eacarlson
1. Listen actively.• While you are receiving feedback, listen
intentionally
• Listen to listen, not to respond
• Be conscious of your body language
• If you are receiving constructive feedback, it may be helpful to confirm understanding: “What I’m hearing you say is that it’s disruptive to you when I drop by your desk without asking first, and that’s making you feel frustrated.”
@eacarlson
2. Say “Thank you.”• Accept positive feedback graciously,
without denying or minimizing
• Say “Thank you.”
• Accept constructive feedback without arguing, pushing back, or getting defensive
• Say “Thank you for the feedback.”@eacarlson
3. Respond (later).• When you receive constructive feedback,
take some time to assess your emotions
• Try to complete this sentence: “I feel _____ about this feedback”
• Sit with the feedback until you feel less emotional about it
• Decide if and how to act@eacarlson
4. Assume the best.• Always assume positive intent
• When you give constructive feedback, assume that the other person was acting from positive intentions
• When you receive constructive feedback, assume that the other person is sharing that feedback because they are invested in your growth
• Feedback is a gift for the purpose of helping you grow
@eacarlson
5. Be specific.• Whether feedback is affirmative or constructive, it should
be specific
• Name actions and behaviors; quote directly if appropriate
• Generic: “Nice job. You did great!”
• Specific: “You were thorough but very easy to follow; I really liked the story you told about Project X. I also thought you were very enthusiastic, and that made it fun to listen to you.”
• Don’t try to deliver too much feedback at once
@eacarlson
6. Let it land.• In order for critical feedback to effective, it
needs to be direct and unmitigated
• Delivering critical constructive feedback can feel difficult and uncomfortable
• Attempts to “soften” the feedback can lessen its impact
• The “compliment sandwich” can do more harm than good
@eacarlson
7. Be collaborative.• Ask before delivering unsolicited
constructive feedback
• Give the other person options as to when (as long as it’s timely) and how (as long as it’s reasonable) they would like to receive feedback
• Confirm understanding
• Follow up@eacarlson
8. Avoid anti-patterns.• Don’t attack someone’s character
(Feedback is about what a person did, not who they are)
• No retribution for feedback
• Don’t give constructive feedback in public
• Avoid anonymous feedback@eacarlson
9. Lead by example. • Good feedback culture starts with leadership
• Your team notices what you model
• Proactive steps: regular 1:1s, structured peer feedback, all-team retros
• Use structure as scaffolding
• The ultimate goal is for feedback to happen organically in the moment
@eacarlson
10. Practice!• The best way to get good at giving and receiving
feedback is to practice
• Practice with a teammate or friend
• Find a mentor (colleague, supervisor, or professional coach)
• Organize a group of colleagues to facilitate peer feedback
• Organize (or request) a feedback training for your team
@eacarlson
Feedback Survey• What are the first words that come to mind when I think of the term “feedback”?
• How do I feel about giving affirmative feedback?
• How do I feel about receiving affirmative feedback?
• How do I feel about giving constructive feedback?
• How do I feel about receiving constructive feedback?
• In which area(s) do I most need to improve?
• Am I receiving sufficient feedback from my team on a regular basis?
• Am I giving sufficient feedback to my team on a regular basis?
• Is there someone I’m actively avoiding giving feedback to right now? Who? Why?
• What is one thing I could do this week to improve my feedback skills?
@eacarlson
Challenges• Give a teammate specific, thoughtful, affirmative
feedback
• Ask a teammate (or supervisor) to tell you one thing you do well and one thing you could do better
• Create a #thanks Slack channel (or other forum) where teammates can acknowledge each other for a job well done
• Bonus: Start a conversation with your team: “How do you think we’re doing at giving and receiving feedback? How could we be better?”
@eacarlson
Additional Resources• Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and
Art of Receiving Feedback Well - Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen
• The 5 Keys to Mindful Communication - Susan Gillis Chapman
• Crucial Conversations - Kerry Patterson
• What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication - Ike Lasater
@eacarlson
