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8/17/2019 ItsAllAboutMe-
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/itsallaboutme- 1/15
osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING
YOURSELF FIRST IS CRITICAL TO LONG-TERM SUCCESS
August 15, 2013
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC, Certified Intrinsic Coach®
Health Management Services Manager
Marsh & McLennan Agency
Minneapolis, MN
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
1
RELATIONSHIP OF WORK ANDSELF
Outcomes
Part 1 – Work Side
Part 2 – Self Side
Outcomes
Part 1 – Work Side
Part 2Self Side
Source: Byrum, Ph.D. / Judgment Index™
RELATIONSHIP OF WORK AND SELF
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC 2
SELF FIRST!
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE CRISIS OF CAPACITY
• Humans are NOT Computers!
– Continuously, at high speeds, for long periods of time,
running multiple programs at the same time.
Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
CAPACITY AND ENERGY
Energy (n).
The capacity to do work.
4July 26, 2013Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
10 hours @60% Capacity
= 30 hours ofwork
8 hours @
80% Capacity= 32 hours of
work
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE IMPORTANCE OF ENERGYThe New Values Exchange
Values
• Physical Health: Quantity of
energy; renewal for sustainability
• Emotional WB: Quality of
energy; how you feel influences
how you perform
– Core emotional need = to feelvalued
• Mental Clarity: Capacity for
focus (myth of multi-tasking)
• Spiritual Significance:Serving a mission/purpose bigger
than yourself
How to Renew Each Value:
• Physical: food, exercise,
sleep, rest
• Emotional: managing triggers,
cultivating positive emotions
• Mental: Flexible focus, quieting
the mind
• Spiritual: connecting to a
purpose (leaders inspiring
others)
Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
LIFE BALANCE ASSESSMENT
• Example:
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
LIFE BALANCE REFLECTION
• Notice your overall perceived balance.
• In looking at your LBW, what stands out for you
• What does balance look like for you? How do you know when
you’re balanced?
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
LBW EXAMPLE
• Initial LBW and 3-months later:
8July 26, 2013
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE FRAME
See Feel
Get Do
9
Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE POWER OF CHOICE
10July 26, 2013
Source: Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D., The Art of the Question
START
What happened?What’s useful here?
What do I want?
Judger Pit
JUDGER• Automatic
Reactions• Blame-Focused• Win-Lose
Relating
LEARNER• Thoughtful
Choices• Solution-Focused• Win-Win Relating
What can I learn?What is the other person
thinking, feeling,
needing and wanting?What am I responsiblefor?
What’s possible? What are my choices?
What’s best to donow?
Who is to blame?
Why am I such afailure?
Why are they sostupid?
What’s wrong withme?
What’s wrong withthem?
Switching Lane
SWITCHAsk Learner ?S toavoid Judger Pit
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
RECOGNIZING THE RUTS
• Continuous growth and learning is essential to livingpowerfully.
• Are you stuck in your ways or in a rut?
– Are your habits/stories/judgments serving you?
– What are you gaining by holding onto your old ways?
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
TOP 20 VS. BOTTOM 80
• Bottom 80s:
- Change nothing
- Change what we do
- Blame (need to be right)
• Top 20s:
- Get Curious
- Change how we SEE it
12
Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
HOW WE SEE THINGS
13
Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
Above the Line
Below the Line
• Positive view on life andhow we see the world
• Energetic moods andemotions
• Positive attitudes & beliefs• Hopeful and optimistic• Power to control my life
• Negative view on life andhow we see the world
• Depressing moods andemotions
• Negative attitudes & beliefs• Hopeless and pessimistic• Powerless victim of life
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE SELF-DECEPTION BOX
• How I Start to See
MYSELF:
– Victim
– Hard Working
– Important
– Fair
– Sensitive
• How I Start to See
OTHERS:
– Lazy
– Inconsiderate
– Unappreciative
– Insensitive
– Faker
14 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
RECOGNIZING WHEN YOU’RE IN THESELF-DECEPTION BOX
15 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
What Other Person DoesDoesn’t complete a project
on time
Alan
What I SeeIrresponsibleDisrespectful
DistractedLazy
What I Do
Discipline HarshlyCriticize
Micro-ManageStop Giving Projects
Rosie
What Other Person Sees
DictatorialDisrespectful
DevaluingNosey
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
SELF-DECEPTION IN ORGANIZATIONS
• Symptoms of Self-Deception: – Lack of Motivation
– Lack of Commitment
– Stress
– Communication Problems
• *Organizations are severely crippled by these
symptoms but often don’t even know they’re carrying
the “germ” causing them.
16 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
GETTING OUT OF YOUR SELF-DECEPTION BOX • Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better
• Don’t look for others’ boxes. Do look for your own.
• Don’t’ accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box
yourself.
• Don’t give up on yourself when you discover you’ve been in the box.
Do keep trying.
• Don’t deny that you’ve been in the box when you have been. Do
apologize.
• Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you
can do right to help.
• Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you
are helping others.
Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
IMPORTANCE OF RESILIENCY
• Characteristics of Resilient People: – Don’t sweat the small stuff.
– Able to be at their best and maintain a sense of balancewhen faced with “big stuff” or major challenges.
– They are flexible but durable and have a better ability to “gowith the flow”
– They come back stronger in the face of adversity.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
WHO’S REALLY RUNNING YOUR LIFE?
CORE:
• My True Self
• Worth from who Iam as a human
• My greater purpose
Circumference:
• Busy, multi-tasking
• Reacting to othersOPO
OPA
OPE
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
Don’t SHOULD on me!
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
BUILDING RESILIENCY
• Put things into perspective.
• Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth.
• Practice acts of gratitude.
• Life in the present moment.
• Pay it forward.
• Stop Settling!
• Give yourself a break.
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
LIVING WITH INTENTION
• YOU must come first!
• “What am I wanting for myself in THIS MOMENT?”
• Make small, incremental changes
• Ask for the support you need
– Proactively offer support for others
• Give yourself credit for even small changes.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
“SHAKING THE TREE” STORY
• When will you know you’ve had enough and what will
it take for you to start living with intention?
• Do you wait for life to happen or do you create it?
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
PERFECTION IS RESERVED FORFAIRYTALES…
24
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
BALANCE ISN’T STATIC!
25
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
Lennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
THE GREMLIN EFFECT
• The Gremlin: – The part of us that hates change, that prefers the status
quo, that would just assume keep us small in our lives.
– Acknowledge the Gremlin for what it is and then getclear about what is most important to you.
“The chief cause for failure and unhappiness is tradingwhat we want MOST for what we want NOW.” ~Zig Ziglar
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
LESSONS FROM A 2 YEAR-OLD
27July 26, 2013
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osie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
oprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce ortribute without permission from Marsh &
MARSH & McLENNAN AGENCY LLC
CONTACT INFORMATION
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCCCertified Intrinsic Coach®, Certified Valuations Specialist
Health Management Services Manager
Marsh & McLennan Agency
[email protected], (763) 548-8861
www.rjfagencies.com
www.DrRosieWard.com
©Copyright 2013. Marsh & McLennan Agency. All Rights Reserved.
The content provided in this presentation is proprietary and confidential and not for distribution without written consent fr om MMA.