TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE:What Every Successful PM Needs to Know


© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Welcomewww.trustedadvisor.com/pmireston


TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know


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Common People ChallengesWHAT’S MOST VEXING FOR YOU?

1.Make a compelling case2.Gain the agreement of diverse

stakeholders3. Say “no” to a customer4.Recover from mistakes5.Transition to a new customer




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Goals for TodayAT THE END OF THIS PRESENTATION YOU WILL:

1.Know the four essential elements of trustworthiness

2.Understand the “secret weapon” of influence

3.Appreciate the paradox of trust and be able to put it to work




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Building Blocks




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The Trust EquationWHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH?

C + R + I S

T trustworthinessC credibilityR reliabilityI intimacyS self-orientation

T =




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Big “S”/Little “S”IT’S A QUESTION OF FOCUS

• Rush to solution• Make a bad 1st deal• “Hoard”

• Be really curious• Create true win-win• Do the right thing

• Listen without distraction

• Talk, talk, talk

RESULTS NEEDS

LOW

“S”

HIG

H

“S” • Avoid confrontation

• Compete for attention

• Speak a hard truth• Give them credit




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The Trust EquationWHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH?

C + R + I S

T trustworthinessC credibilityR reliabilityI intimacyS self-orientation

T =




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How We Think People ThinkIT’S A QUESTION OF FOCUS

Facts Logic Truth




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Cialdini on InfluenceTHE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSUASION

A primary driver of influence is …

reciprocity




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Gottman on Long-Term PartnershipTHE IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHY

“Understanding must precede advice.”

“You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize … before you suggest a solution.”

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0609601040/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-5814403-9381435#reader-link




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What Empathy Sounds Like

“That’s a tough

spot to be in.”

“Sounds like we haven’t

done a good job making our case.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m

sure that’s frustrating, to say the least.”

“I don’t see value in that.”

“We’re just not sure which way to go.”

“I’m disappointed by your team’s results.”




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Three-Level ListeningPUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE

In pairs:Person A shares a

project challengePerson B plays consultant/listener

3-minute role-play:Person A—SharePerson B—DO NOT solve the problem!

1-minute debrief:What was your experience?

Switch roles and repeat




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Thomas Friedman on Listening

“People often ask me how I, an American Jew, have been able to operate in the Arab/Muslim world for 20 years, and my answer to them is always the same. The secret is to be a good listener …”“ … It's not just what you hear by listening that is important. It is what you say by listening that is important...”“ … Never underestimate how much people just want to feel that they have been heard; once you have given them that chance, they will hear you.”



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Key Takeaways

1. Make a compelling case

2. Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders

3. Say “no” to a customer

4. Recover from mistakes

5. Transition to a new customer



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WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS

The Goodie Bag

www.trustedadvisor.com/pmireston

[email protected]

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TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know