Welcome to Unit 7Completing your Rough

DraftWriting gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it. David Sedaris, interview in Louisville Courier-Journal, June 5, 2005 http://www.quotationspage.com/search.php3?homesearch=writing

Revising Paragraphs• Why students have problems adding details……

• Some are psychological. Some students are afraid to give their opinion. They don’t believe that their opinions are worth the writing. Some are very private people who don’t want to tell the world about their personal experiences, especially traumatic ones. Still others believe that they do not need to give many details. They will point to short paragraphs in the newspaper and say that they want to keep things simple.

A few may be lazy, but the majority simply do not recognize when a paragraph is underdeveloped and therefore unclear and/or uninteresting.

Remember that journalistic writing with its short paragraphs is a different genre with a different audience and purpose; academic writing requires greater paragraph development.

• Share you thoughts…………….• http://kucourses.com/ec/courses/24737/CRS-zKU121-

3714268/96836-0205663451_imtb.pdf

Read• Read ‘The Worst and Best Jobs of My

Life”• Pp 434• Wait for class to restart in 10 minutes• Return with the authors KEY points from

the article.• Class will be PAUSED for 10 minutes…

Specific Details

• What characteristics make a job bad and what made the author’s “worst job” so bad.

• Share about the worst job that you have ever had………….. 

Specific Details

• How can you use this example to add details to your essay?

Key Concepts

• Compiling – bringing all elements of your draft together.

Drafting

• Drafting - The determining stage of the writing process where you organize ideas from brainstorming, sorting out the best ones to use in your writing.

Drafting

• Concluding paragraph- the final paragraph in the essay. Its job is to briefly remind reader of the key points and then end with some broad, general ideas.

• Concise – shortest, most direct way to say something.

Conclusions

• Be sure to add your job duties in your final paragraph• Write about future projects, plans that you may have

for your career.• Remind the reader about your thesis. Provide a small

recap.• Summarize your life history.• Share a new fact.• Revisit your thesis.• Use a quotation• Share a story or example.

Conclusion Example

The popularity of Golden Girls, a situation comedy show of the late 1980ʹs, can be attributed to its humorous, yet poignant treatment of issues important to the senior citizens. Dealing with a wide range of subjects, the show touches all of its viewers, often heightening the audiences awareness of areas needing social change. Through the fun-loving, community-minded and loyal attributes of the main characters, this show makes a positive contribution by demonstrating that senior citizens are not pathetic, useless human beings.

Observe how the last sentence ties the paragraph together to end the essay that would proceed it.

Conclusion Example

• Political officials all over the world should unite and try to fight the destruction of the ozone layer. First of all, they can bar the using of freon and hair spray bottles. Secondly, they should get the worldʹs greatest scientists to collaborate and try to reinforce the layer. Third, the UN should control the inventions of such products so that this problem will not continue.

• Observe how the first sentence ties the paragraph together to end the proceeding essay.

Conclusion

The fictional television program is by nature much like a piece of literature. A program usually features a group of characters responding to situations. Unlike most accessible creations of the entertainment industry, Star Trek: The Next Generation brings the quality to television that Shakespeare did to literature. This manifestation of education via entertainment definitely has a positive effect on the viewer.

Locate the conclusion sentence……..(first or last)

Example 1

• Last sentence

Conclusion Example 2

The way a person dresses can tell you much about his or her personality, but unfortunately, it can not tell you everything about them. Everyone is different, no matter what they wear. You may discover certain things about people by the way they dress, but always remember that old cliche´: ʺYou can't judge a book by its cover.ʺ

Locate the conclusion sentence……..(first or last)

Example 2

• Answer: first sentence

Expanding

• Expanding – looking for additional facts or examples to expand the focus of your essay. 

• Reworded Thesis – method of starting a conclusion with a statement that echoes the ideas of your thesis in different words.

Stretching

• Stretching - weakening your writing by adding needless words; not a good practice.

• If you find yourself writing on and on, then your topic is too broad.

• If you have run out of ideas on your topic then it’s too broad.

• Try to narrow down your topic.

Wordiness

• Wordiness – over use of needless words in writing.

• Ex. Mary has 2 brother and a cat and a dog and a bird and a rose garden and, and, and!!!

Review the Process

• The writing process - The step-by-step process anyone can follow in order to complete a writing assignment, whether it's for a class or a workplace project; it is a circular process so you can return to previous steps.

Project

• You will post the rough draft of your autobiography by the end of Unit 7.

• You will take the informal ideas generated in previous units and formalize them for this draft, so you want to write in complete sentences and paragraphs.

• Share some tips you have used to make your essay interesting……………

Project

• Check your spelling, but extensive grammar edits can and should wait.

• Use quotes, share stories, examples, ideas that you have had throughout your life.

• Use adjectives, nouns, and verbs.

• Try expand your vocabulary use a thesaurus.

• One paragraph that identifies who you are, where you live, the company or organization that has hired you, and your new job title.

• One paragraph that gives professional details about you and your life – your age, family, hobbies, etc. (NOTE: this is a professional biography so you should limit personal details to what is appropriate).

Project

• One paragraph that talks about your education. You should include high school or your GED, any previous college experience, and your Kaplan program.

• One paragraph that details professional experiences, honors and awards, or other related details.

• One concluding paragraph hat reinforces where you will be working, your job title, and what you will be doing.