Emotional IntelligencePresented by:Dr. Brenda Joy Atchison

Knowledge is knowing the world, wisdom is knowing yourself (unknown)

Icebreaker My name is ____________________ My most impactful learning experience

was when________________________

Forerunners of EQ 1870 Charles Darwin first modern book on the

role of EQ Edward Thorndike 1920’s “social intelligence” David Wechsler 1940 sought to include social

and affective abilities in general intelligence Albert Ellis 1955 Rational Emotive Behavior

Therapy 1983 Howard Gardner “ multiple intelligences” Reuven Bar-On coined EQ

Background (cont.) Mayer, Salovy, Caruso developed MSCEIT The EQi was formally published in 1997 The Multi Health System in cooperation with

Bar-On tested 42,000 people in 36 countries for the research validity and reliability

Among the top three ethnic groups, average overall scores varied by less than 5%

EQ is not the same as personality

Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence is mastering the

combination of personal (managing yourself) and social competencies (managing your relationships) and exhibiting them with venue specific appropriateness .

(Atchison, 2007)

EQ vs. IQ IQ measures cogitative intelligence EQ measures affective intelligence IQ is pretty much set. It peaks around

17 and remains constant throughout adulthood.

EQ is not fixed, it rises after the teen years and only tapers slightly after 50

EQ vs IQ How much of success in life can be

attributed to IQ vs EQ?

Discuss

Moral Reasoning Kohlberg

Raising your EQ Be aware of your emotions Regulate your emotions Motivate yourself Cultivate and practice empathy Manage relationships

Deadly vs Connecting

Seven Habits

1. Criticizing2. Blaming3. Complaining4. Nagging5. Threatening6. Punishing7. Rewarding

Control

1. Listening2. Respecting3. Trusting4. Encouraging5. Accepting6. Supporting7. Always negotiating

disagreements

Emotional Learning System Self Assessment: Explore (intentional assessment habit

( inquiring, discovering, questioning) Self Awareness: Identify (distinguishing between thought and

feeling) Self Knowledge: Understand ( gain insight into behaviors and

make choices) Self Development: Learn (learn ways to improve behavior) Self Improvement: Apply/Model (practice EI desired behavior)

(Nelson & Low,2003) (Nelson &

Low,2003)

Decision Making usingChoice Theory (Glasser) Basic needs: survival, belonging, power,

freedom, fun Maslow) All people can do is behave All behavior is purposeful All behaviors are chosen to achieve

wants The chosen behavior is one’s best

attempt to meet the need

Practicing EQ Complaints to request Stop perpetrations Managing anger Practicing empathy Raising EQ

ESAP 4 Dimensions Interpersonal (assertive communication,

anxiety management and control) Self Management ( Time management, drive

strength, commitment ethic, positive change orientation)

Leadership (Comfort, empathy, decision making, positive influence)

Intrapersonal ( Stress management, self-esteem)

Complaints to Request Write down a complaint that you have

about someone Turn that complaint into a request Choose a partner Explain the situation

and present your request Ask for Get feedback on your request Revise if necessary and present it to one

other person

Anger Management

Step 1. When you experience frustration, annoyance, jealousy, say to yourself “I am angry”

Step 2. Once you have accurately identified the emotion, say to yourself “I create my own anger” ..angry thinking

Step 3. After you realize that you are making yourself angry, say “I accept responsibility for my anger”

Step 4. Ask yourself” How do I want to express this anger in a way that I can feel good about?

Step 5. Ask yourself if you need outside help. (Nelson & Low, 2011)

Stop perpetrations

The Goal: to abstain from hypocritical communication designed to damage the spirit of others

Example Information you would not want a person to know you said

You would not want it on the front page of the paper attributed to you.

You would not say it to the persons face You are embarrassed or uneasy around the person

knowing what you said. The thoughts or actions serve no constructive

purpose.

Perpetrations (cont.)

 Practice: Think about at least one person against whom you have perpetrated? Reflect on what you felt (circle it on your feeling chart.

Commit to stop and refuse to pass on negative information/office gossip.

Forms of Empathy

cognitive empathy—we recognize what another person is feeling

emotional empathy—we actually feel what the person is feeling,

compassionate empathy—we want to help the person deal with their situation and emotions.

Acting with Empathy Preserve dignity and avoid dishonor.

Engage in a discourse to understand his point of view and to determine his specific needs. Throughout the dialogue keep in mind

Remember: You are responsible for your choices and actions.

Practicing EmpathyIf I took responsibility for every feeling I experience and for every word I utter___________________

(HBR,2003)

Anyone can become angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and the right way-this is not easy Aristotle

Q&A