English Writing By Godlikidyao

中央号召创建节约型社会，可是许多校园内部浪费现象严重。请你在班会上发表演讲，号召同学们从我做起，杜绝浪费。提示： 1 、浪费现象：水、电、餐厅的食物及其他； 2 、危害 : 自身性格，父母财政负担，自然资 源； 3 、制止浪费现象的措施：由自己设想。要求： 1 、词数 150 左右；演讲的开头和结尾 已写好 , 不记入总词数。 2 、不要逐字逐条翻译，要组成一篇 通顺连贯的短文。

How can we organize a passage?

Cam

brid

ge

Para.1

Measures

Phenomena

Harm

Para.3

Para.2

Para. 1 Phenomena

have lights onorder too much food and leave leftovers on the table

Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave a lot of leftovers on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks.

use paper casuallyspend pocket money on snacks…Some students leave tap water running after washing.

leave tap water running

Para.2

Harm

have a bad effect on one’s character building add financial burden to one’s parents use up the world’s limited natural resources(school) burden with extra expenditure( 开支 ).…

The bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. It adds financial burden to their parents. The world’s limited natural resources will be used up soon.

Para.3 Measures

have a clear awareness of the serious situationeducate students in schoolset rulesstart from oneselftake the lead in reducing the waste…

In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

Some students leave tap water running after washing. Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave a lot of leftoverson the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks.

The bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. It adds financial burden to their parents. The world’s limited natural resources will be used up soon.

In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

117 words

第五档 ( 很好 ) （ 21-25分）第四档 ( 好 ) （ 16-20分）第三档 ( 适当 ) （ 11-15分）第二档 ( 较差 ) （ 6-10分）第一档 ( 差 ) （ 1-5分）

书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求第五档（ 21-25 分）完全完成了试题规定的任务。准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容，要点无遗漏应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇有少许错误，但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式 所致；具备较强的语言应用能力有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑完全达到了预期的写作目的。

第四档（ 16-20 分）完成了试题规定的任务。比较准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求语法结构和词汇应用基本准确，少许错误主要是因为尝试较复 杂语言结构或词汇所致应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑 达到了预期的写作目的。

第三档（ 11-15 分）基本完成了试题规定的任务。能说出短文的基本内容，但逻辑关系较混乱，要点有遗漏， 没有写自己的认识应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求有一些语法结构和词汇的错误，但不影响理解 应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。

第二档（ 6-10 分）未恰当完成试题规定的任务。未能清楚地表达短文的内容，写了一些无关内容语法结构简单，词汇项目有限有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性信息未能清楚地传达给读者。

What should we pay attention to

Oxford

1. 适当运用结构词、从句和关联词 :and, but, so, however, therefore, then, thus, after a while, suddenly, at last, as a result, in fact 等 , 使句子 更为流畅。

You may stay at school. You may come to spend the holiday with us.

You may ______ stay at school ______ come to spend the holiday with us.

either or

2. 避免使用对其拼法、意义和用法没有把握、不熟悉 的词汇和句型，避免可以避免的错误 .

喜欢 like, be fond of, care for, enjoy,...1 ）两天后他就要过生日了。

① His birthday is two days away. ② His birthday is in two days. ③ His birthday is in two days’ time. ④ It will be two days before he celebrates his

birthday.

2 ）我碰巧遇见他的叔叔。 ① I happened to meet his uncle. ② I chanced to see his uncle.

3. 留心汉英表达差异 , 避免中式英语 (Avoiding Chinlish)

1) 父母对我们期望很高。

The hope of our parents is very high. ×× ×

Our parents expect too much from us.

2) 高考

high exam ?college entrance examination

3) 她的右眼瞎了。 a. Her right eye is blind.

4) 他健壮如牛。 a. He is strong like a cow.

5) 汤姆的父亲打了他一个耳光。 a. Tom’s father beat him in his face.

b. She is blind in the right eye.

b. He is strong like a horse (as strong as a horse).

b. Tom’s father beat him in the face.

4. 书写必须工整 , 确保不犯拼写错误 (Avoiding mistakes) 。

parents & peasant & present sun & son attack & attract blood & flood flood & floor......

How can we get our passage polished up?

Some students leave tap water running after washing. Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave much leftovers on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks. …,The students leave tap water running after washing and have the lights on in the daytime, which means a huge waste of water and electricity. Some students get into a bad habit of ordering much delicious food in the canteen but they don’t eat all the food, leaving much on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money. So it is high time we had to deal with the problem. The reasons are as follows:

在表达准确、保持连贯的基础上 , 尽量使用较复杂的语法结构和较高 级的词汇 ;

Tips

The bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. It adds financial burden to their parents. The world’s limited natural resources will be used up.

In the first place, the bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. Secondly, it adds financial burden to their parents. Last but not least, the world’s limited natural resources, such as water and electricity , will be used up soon.

First of all Firstly,

To begin with,

In addition,Besides,

Moreover,What’s more

Finally,What’s worse,

在表达准确、保持连贯的基础上 , 尽量使用较复杂的语法结构和较高 级的词汇 ;

恰当使用过渡词或过渡句 , 使文章 结构紧凑 ;

Tips

In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

But how can we reduce waste? In my opinion, it is everybody’s duty to fight against waste. On the one hand, I should start with myself to save everything. On the other hand, I’d like to remind my friends here to take the lead in reducing the waste.

As far as I am concerned, I think only when all of us are fully aware of its seriousness can the situation be improved. On the one hand, it is necessary for schools to educate every student not to waste anything in any form and on the other hand every one of us should start with ourselves to fight against waste. It is not until all of us are involved in the activity that we can bring the situation under control.

在表达准确、保持连贯的基础上 , 尽量使用较复杂的语法结构和较 高级的词汇 ;恰当使用过渡词或过渡句 , 使文章 结构紧凑 ;适当地变换句型结构和所用词汇 , 尽量避免重复和单调。

Tips

养成良好的写作习惯一、书写规范，卷面整洁；

二、审清题目，提炼要点；

三、组词造句，组句成篇；

四、仔细检查，认真修改。

Nowdays, it is common that the students have tap water running after washing and leave the lights on in the daytime, which means a huge waste of water and electricity. Some students get into a bad habit of ordering much delicious food in the canteen but they don’t eat all the food, leaving much on the table. Some even ask their parents for a lot of pocket money. So it is high time we had to deal with the problem. The reasons are as follows:

Sample:

In the first place, the bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. Secondly, it adds financial burden to their parents. Last but not least, it also exhausts the world’s limited natural resources, such as water and electricity.

But how can we reduce waste? In my opinion, it is everybody’s duty to fight against waste. On the one hand, I should start with myself to save everything. On the other hand, I’d like to remind my friends here to take the lead in reducing the waste.

国务院日前向全国各机构下发关于限制生产销售使用塑料袋的通知。请根据以下提示 , 用英语写一篇 150 词左右的短文 ,简述该规定的有关内容 ,并就此谈谈你的看法。

内容 自 2008 年 6 月 1日起，中国在所有超市、商场等场所实行塑料袋有偿使用制度，规定一律不得免费提供塑料购物袋。

背景 中国每年都要消耗大量的塑料购物袋。由于过量使用及回收处理不到位等原因，造成了严重的能源浪费和环境污染。

后果 如果不予治理，终有一天，满世界的白色将吞没我们赖以生存的地球。

你的看法

From June 1, 2008, China will ban shops from offering plastic shopping bags for free. All supermarkets, department stores and shops must charge the customers for them.

Each year China consumes a large number of plastic shopping bags. Too much use of them, inadequate recycling and other factors have caused a serious waste of resources and serious environmental pollution as well.

If things go on like this, the earth we live on will be buried in an ocean of white rubbish one day. The new regulation brings China in line with a growing international trend to cut back on the use of plastic bags.

Personally, I think the regulation is a timely measure against plastic bags. The ban on free plastic bags encourages people to be more environmentally friendly. As students, we should be fully aware of the damage they cause and use paper or cloth bags instead to reduce environmental pollution.

1. First, Next, Then, Finally...2. thus, therefore, however, in fact, besides, on the contrary, instead of3. first, second, and, but, for, or4. what’s more, as a result, what is better still5. as far as I know/am concerned; personally;

使用好过渡性词语

过渡性词语是把在意义上相连贯的句子联接在一起的链条 , 指出作者思维活动发展的方向。

How can we get high marks

Harvard

一 . 夯实基础 , 提高写作能力

1. 加强阅读 ,扩充词汇2. 加强运用 ,掌握语法3. 加强训练 , 提高能力

二 .掌握方法 ,稳拿中档分1.弄清题意 ,定出框架 What’s the main idea?

How should I start it?

How should I end it?

2.分析试题 ,列出要点3.理清思路 ,要点齐全4. 仔细检查 ,确保无误

三 .运用技巧 ,力夺高分1. 调整结构 ,详略得当2. 整合句子 , 行文流畅e.g. To work individually! People can decide

for themselves when to start to work and how to do it. They can learn how to solve problems on their own. To work in a team, people can learn from each other and help each other. They may work out ways to get work done by discussion.

As we all know,to work individually,people can decide for themselves when to start to work and how to do it. What’s more,they can learn how to solve problems on their own. However,to work in a team, people can learn from each other and help each other.Besides, they may work out ways to get work done by discussion.

3.改换表达 ,提高档次e.g. He works hard. He often helps the

others. He is a good student. He works hard. He often helps the

others. Isn’t he a good student? I live in a small mountain village.

There is a small river running through it. I live in a small mountain village.

Through it runs a small river.

4.采用修辞手法，提高表达效果e.g. They are planting trees there.

They are working very hard.

They are all working very hard there. Some are digging holes, some are planting trees, and the others are carrying water.

He lost the money he would use to buy a truck. He has lost the means to earn his living.

He lost his money, his hope and everything.

Wish you succeed in the

college entrance exam