Parshat Miketz - 5773

7/30/2019 Parshat Miketz - 5773

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Parshat Miketz 5773

Drasha

The Darkest Prison

The Parsha begins by informing us that another two years had gone by

since we last left Yosef in prison, when suddenly Pharaoh has a dream:

():

The Chazal note that if we factor in these additional two years, his stay

in prison adds up to a grand total of twelve years. It is traditionally

understood that these years in prison were part of a Divine

punishment. With this in mind Id like to share with you an interesting

Midrash in Shemot Rabbah:

()

,'.'[/( ]/.)'

:(.)

.?:

(/".)/

,-

:]...[[]

(,),:(


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//.),

,:/(/,)':

[( ]/.)/':

[]/(/,)'

,,:

'.

It seems according to this Midrash, that Yosefs stay in prison was

(measure for measure). Just as Moshes comment about "

" (how will Pharaoh listen to me) led to Aarons

appointment, Yosefs plea to the (the butler), to remember

him after leaving prison led to his being forgotten. Yosef had falsely

placed hope in his fellow man and thus failed to rely upon Hakadosh

Baruch Hu in his time of need.

This Midrash also explains that Yosef was being punished for his

treatment of his brothers, as we read in the previous parsha:

()

:

The " " in his work " " (Rav Eliyahu Hakohen HaItmari)

ponders how it is that the punishment fits the crime? Why is ten years


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of imprisonment appropriate measure for measure for the act of

spreading ?

The explains that in truth the punishment does fit the crime,

since spreading gossip and harming the reputation of another person

causes the victim great shame, to such an extent that they would be

embarrassed to even leave the threshold of their house. And even if the

shamed person were to be so brave as to venture outside, they would

inevitably feel imprisoned. It is therefore appropriate, argues R Eliyahu


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Hakohen that Yosef was thrown into a prison, as punishment for

imprisoning his ten siblings.

This past week we learned how true these words of the are.

Princess Kate Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge was taken into the

hospital for minor discomfort associated with her pregnancy. To give

you an idea of the level of celebrity, within an hour the whole world

knew that she was in the hospital as well as the reason for her stay.

It was the perfect opportunity for an innocent prank, and so two radio

D.J.s some 10,000 miles away in Australia placed a phone call to the

front desk of the hospital pretending to be the Queen of England and

Prince Charles. To their utter shock and amusement, they were

connected with the nurse of the Duchess and were given some private

yet relatively harmless information about her status.

Over the next couple of hours these DJs were catapulted into

international stardom, the clip replayed hundreds of times on the radio

and news around the globe. But as we all know by now the laughter

came to a screeching halt when the nurse responsible for forwarding

the call decided to take her own life.

As confirmed yesterday, the nurse acknowledged in her suicide note

that one of the reasons for doing what she was about to do was the


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shame and humiliation and treatment she received by the hospital

administration was simply too much to bear.

It is extremely difficult to imagine the prison we create with our own

words, but even with a friendly comment or quick jab we can

inadvertently incarcerate another person.

Apparently, the nurse Jacintha Saldanha felt that she had nowhere else

to turn. Her family was in shock as they had not even heard the story in

advance of the horrific news.

Without knowing the details, one can only imagine that her colleagues

belittled her and her supervisors berated her feeling pressure from the

royal family over the breach in privacy.

Assessing responsibility is thus so complex, there are so many little cogs

in the story, that no one person is to blame.

From a halachic perspective, this dilemma had been presented by our

Sages in the case a person who is beaten by ten men, each delivering a

blow to the head or body. The Talmud wondered who is liable for the

mans death? Who has to answer to the grieving family? Who has to

face din vcheshbon (Divine Justice)?

Is it the D.J. or is it the hospital, or perhaps its the royal family, or just

maybe its the millions of people who were riding home from work on


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Thursday afternoon and amidst the traffic heard this cute story and had

a quick chuckle?

And while it is difficult to assess blame, there is clearly a need for a

tikun, for fixing the way we operate.

Bullying is a phenomenon that has been studied now for years by

psychologists and educators.

It used to be believed, almost universally, that bullies were the socially

disruptive types, the anarchists, who broke the rules and displayed

aggressive behavior. Then through, the study of what is called The

Science of peer relations1

they made a few important discoveries. The

bullies in school were not the ones who ended up with criminal records,

they werent the brutish and unintelligent children. Rather, most

bullying was meted out by children who were popular, well-liked and

admired. That popularity and social dominance is intrinsically linked

with meanness and cruelty came to no surprise to the educators and to

the victims; but to those studying social sciences it was an obvious

conversation that was not being had. Nobody had focused on that type

of passive aggression in their research, instead it was always the

children who dressed in Goth, who were depressed or angry, who came

1Nurture Shock, P.O Bronson and Ashley Merryman, page 187-193


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from broken homes and had low IQs and who had anger management

issues.

Dr. Joseph Allen, a professor at University of Virginia noted that few

research grants were ever given to study the popular kids

systematically because it was always assumed that the popular kids

were doing just fine. Suddenly, a few scientists noted that popular

children were doing drugs and drinking as well and the grant money

flew in. And now all of the old assumptions have been shattered. For

instance, it used to be assumed that girls are not aggressive, but the

new research demonstrates that they can be just as aggressive, but that

they are more likely to use relational aggression. Similarly, popular,

intelligent, well adjusted children, who may come from in-tact homes

and may be well off financially, were now being considered for

aggressive behavior.

The bully is not socially deviant; he is socially savvy. He holds his

peers in awe, but in addition his teachers, parents and coaches are all

attracted to the very same charm.

These children dont learn aggression by watching violent television or

by playing Grand-Theft-Auto, instead as soon as they learn about

coolness and how to be attractive to other people.


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Yosef is guilty according to the Chazal of being on his

brothers, what does that mean?

According to Rashi it means that he would say anything negative he

could about his brothers:

":

-""(.)

:

However, a more nuanced reading emerges from the Rashbam:

,

,---,

--,;-,-.

Why are we told about - ? And furthermore, whydoes the verse begin with a cryptic line such as

,-- Yosef wasnt the only son of Yaakov!?

Perhaps what was going on here was the scramble for the throne.

Untill now it had been relatively simple, Avraham had two children, and

he had picked his successor, Yitzchak had a more complicated

circumstance, but he nonetheless had selected Yaakov when all was


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said and done. But what about Yaakovs decision? Who was going to

lead the clan? The verse, in mentioning Yosef as the first descendant of

Yaakov lets us know that there is an unstated struggle for the mantle of

leadership. And amidst this struggle Yosef makes a move:

-,-

What did he do exactly?

":

-'

..

..

..

.

:

Rashbam understands that Yosef had employed the art of

Machiavellian political angling. Yosef told Yaakov that the older

brothers were mistreating the sons of the , Bilha and Zilpah, but

he asserted that he (Yosef) was kind towards them.

This is about pecking order, and if Yosef can out maneuver the sons of

Leah, he is the de-facto head of the household, certainly over the sons

of the maidservants who seem beyond consideration.


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In the popularity contest, Yosef wins out, he bests his older siblings, he

has cool clothing and good looks and has mastered the art of charming

his father.

Yosef is not evil, he is after all Yosef HaTzaddik! But he is, according to

the Midrash, guilty of using his words to cleverly out maneuver his

competition and emerge as the next leader.

In doing so, he caused a great deal of pain to the brothers, and is this

punished with his time in the Egyptian prison cell.

We are celebrating the holiday of Chanukah, it is the holiday which

recognizes the plight of the victim and the ability for them to emerge.

doesnt always happen, most classrooms and places of

work will contend with the bully and will continue to fall prey to his

allure. But as people who recognize that Yosef must first repent for his

actions before rising to prominence, and as a people who decry the

persecution of the Greeks over the Jews, it behooves us to remember

what its like to be on the receiving end.

Let us not tolerate bullying in our schools in our shul groups, in our own

backyards and homes, and let us not tolerate it in our places of work.

The subordination of others, even in the most subtle and oblique

manner, can amount to much more than character assassination; it can


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alienate, it can cast a person into a prison of deep sadness and it can

even be fatal.

Remember, that the Sages taught )Sotah 10b)

Or Rabbi Shimon bar Yochais corollary to that principle:

"." Remember that bullies arent always evil, they are more often than not

like you and I, looking to succeed, looking to climb the social and

financial rungs of life. We are encouraged to strive for greatness, for

recognition and even for the adulation of others, but never, under any

circumstance, may we do so while standing on someone elses back.

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Parshat Miketz - 5773