February 1, 2011 Vol. 1 No. 1 Total: No. 10

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1.

“Milch ” “ ”

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Liliana

One Family, Three Languages

The TCCAA includes many bi-lingual families, but few tri-lingual ones. People sometimes ask us how we manage it. It's actually pretty simple: our kids learned English outside the household, and can only use Chinese and German at home.

Our approach is based on my experience growing up in New Mexico. I wasn't allowed to speak English at home. My parents were afraid that my brothers and I would pick up our parents' strong German accents if we spoke English with them. We were only allowed to speak English with native speakers. It turns out that this fear was misplaced. The other German-American families in our circle of friends weren't so strict. Their kids spoke a mixture

, 2010

of English and German at home. Those kids grew up speaking perfect English. However, by the time they were in high school, their German had atrophied. Thanks to our parents, that didn't happen to us.

With this history in mind, Hongfei and I chose a similar approach when our kids came along. I only speak to them in German, and she only speaks to them in Chinese. The kids started daycare when they were 6 weeks old. Hongfei and I made sure the day care assigned native English speakers to their kids' rooms. We had to switch day cares several times when staff with foreign accents was assigned to our kids' rooms.

That's all there is to it.

1) Consistency. If the kids ask for milk they get nothing no matter how much

whining is involved. They have to ask me for Milch or mom for niunai. No exceptions. Obviously we do help them if they're stuck for a word.

2) Learning English takes place outside the home. They learned English at daycare, and later on at school. It's

easier for us than it was for my parents because of the availability of Chinese and German videos and music. I made sure the kids got to know compatible German relatives their same age whenever they visited Germany. Hongfei tried to do the same but it's harder to find Chinese kids with unstructured playtime. At first, we thought, that their Chinese would improve if our kids spent more time with the many ethnic Chinese kids in the TCCAA. But, those kids mostly do their playing in English, so we let our kids choose their own friends. They still keep in touch with their same-aged German relatives and have a great time together when they're over there.

German is much easier to read and write than Chinese. The kids pretty much learned to read German while sitting on my lap as I read to them. Hongfei puts a lot of effort into getting them to learn to read and write Chinese. We considered enrolling them in the local Chinese school, but decided to keep of weekends open and just teach them ourselves.

Maintaining 3 languages at home takes some effort, but it's not been difficult. We wonder why many families give up so easily and deprive their kids of an opportunity to connect with more of the world. We don't know if it will ever help them career-wise, but the kids already value being able to talk to their relatives in China and Germany. Once, Liliana was the only person who was able to help a group of Chinese businessmen who had been robbed on a train in Belgium explain what happened to the German conductor, who was then able to get them some help. She got a free bottle of juice in the dining car for her efforts.

/ Chen, Frederick ( )

• The first son of Chen, Heshun ( ) & Ruixia Zhang ( )

• ( High School): Richland High School

( University): (University of

Pittsburgh) ( Major):

Bioengineering

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Frederick Chen 2010

If you were to ask any of the young people here about their mothers, most of them would reply: “oh man, I hate my mom. She always makes me work hard and compares me to my friends. She always acts crazy and embarrasses me. She always tells me that if I’m not a 4.0 student and go to med school I will become a hobo and die

“Why?” you ask, “Why would these children say such horrible things about their mothers?”

The answer is that Chinese mothers are all crazy. If you don’t believe me, ask all the Chinese dads. They will all tell you that I’m wrong, because they know that if they say I’m right, their wives will go crazy.

In fact, Chinese moms

are so crazy that most Chinese kids wish they were American. Every one of us has had a moment when we said to ourselves: “I wish I was like those American kids, whose moms bake them cookies and let them play video games,

and don’t beat them if they get an A-.” But then we start thinking: “Actually, those American kids are kind of stupid. And while they’re going to CBC, I’ll be going to UW with all of my Chinese friends. And Americans have to pay money at restaurants if they want Chinese food.” When we really think about it, we’re lucky to have Chinese moms.

So thank you moms, for being crazy enough to leave China and bring us here where all the toilets work. Thank you moms, for yelling at us until we took those piano and violin lessons. Thank you moms, for making us do our homework and study every night. Thank you for cooking, cleaning, clothing and caring for us. Thank you for not being gullible like those American moms, who think that a D grade means “Does Everything Perfectly.” Thanks for everything mom. I love you.

When I go to college (which will not be an Ivy League school, sorry) I will

miss you. Whenever I have to eat cold ramen, whenever my dorm room gets dirty, whenever I run out of clean laundry, whenever I forget my homework, I will think of you, and hope that you never find out.

And mom, when the other Chinese moms brag that

their kids are better than me, don’t be jealous.

Because those moms are crazy.

Chenchen Li, Reflection, Acrylic on Canvas. 2010

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